#on a huge ceremonials kick rn

[knightsquire]

💖💖💖 @rootbeerqueer tagged me to post 5 songs i’m playing on repeat, so here they are:

1: Bedroom Hymns by Florence + the Machine

2: Notre Dame by Paris Paloma

3: House in Nebraska by Ethel Cain

4: Ptolmaea by Ethel Cain

5: Cassandra by Florence+ the Machine

[creacherkeeper]

How is the cowboi doing? :) I’d love to hear about some of their recent adventures.

OH WELL IT'S ME + ALSO MY DICE HATE(/love) ME SO YOU KNOW THEYRE GETTING WHUMPED CONSTANTLY LMAO

there have certainly been some Events Unfolding so those are under the cut, casey since youre in our campaign now NO PEEKING

fair warning this is .... long ..... you have asked me to talk about my dnd character and you simply CANNOT stop the floodwaters now. enter at your own risk

okay so basically the first arc of the campaign kind of kicked off with them getting a vision from their goddess (the grain goddess/goddess of agriculture) saying that she was trapped in a fey gate and that they needed to come rescue her

so erley immediately Rallied The Posse and set off to do that. they NUMEROUS times tried to pray to her, commune with her, basically just get ANY sort of communication or guidance from her, but the dice like to tell their story so i literally never got above an 11 (paladin with only +2 to religion my beloved) and they never heard from her, which was making them. pretty nervous. when it seemed like everyone else was able to talk to their gods just fine

well we eventually figured out that there was a huge gathering of fey in the woods (me: this might be too big for us to fight. what if its like 30 fey? / my dm, glancing at his notes where he has 2000 fey written down: (: ) and basically the fey like. had captured and were trying to kill what was left of the pantheon so they could bring back gaia as the One True God

we found all this out because it turned out several members of the party had been lying about how much they knew of the fey and had personal connections to the fey they'd kept hidden. and erley, who is ALSO HIDING A LOT from the party like. immediately went on the offense and was just generally very unhappy about this

there had been this fey merchant who kept popping up wherever we were trying to sell us magic weapons that seemed tied to us specifically. erley was always VERY suspicious of her and did everything in their power to stop the others from buying her weapons (which we literally had to buy with -5 to a skill point, not money, v sus) to mixed results. but basically when we got to the fey gathering (we called it gaiapalooza) erley rolled a 1 on their survival check to get through the magic field and like. got teleported to her. and they really wanted information from her so they basically were like LEORA I DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST I THINK MY PARTY HAS BEEN LYING TO ME, CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM CAN YOU SEE US WHEN YOURE NOT THERE? and basically pretended to need a therapy session in order to milk her for information lmao. she also seemed like. REALLY interested in erley and i was also very nervous about that

and i was RIGHT to be suspicious of her because we found out she WAS ACTUALLY THE BIG BAD and we had to fight her in the arc finale. and several of our party members had rl stuff and were not there, and in game our druid was away casting an 8 hour long spell to try and stop the palooza ceremony, so our party was SUPER nerfed and also as soon as erley realized it WAS actually leora who was behind all of it and she WAS trying to hurt them with those weapons (the weapons were tethers to the gods to be able to kill them basically), they got .... a little angry

and my party found out after irl a year of playing these characters that erley's first level is barbarian :))

so erley raged and did frankly a staggering amount of damage in this fight, and also only stayed up because of rage because they took a LOT of hits. but also. they dont rage FOR A REASON so it sort of took them over and when leora dropped, one of the other pcs ran over to stabilize her as she was making death saves and erley :) maybe :) drove a spear through her heart and killed her :)

and her body immediately just like. overgrew with plants and vines and flowers and basically wrapped the spear in a bed of plants and it was very cinematic and cool

(we have since found out that leora was like. actually an aspect of gaia so. that is. interesting)

of course then erley popped out of rage and was like FUCK this is why i dont do this, i went too far, it always goes too far, THIS is why im ashamed of this, and just got very emo boi about it. so they used their last spell slot to cast restoration on the space they had fought in and reached out to their goddess, having just saved her and the rest of the pantheon like she had asked them to

and i rolled a nat 1!!!

(the dm was like "you have committed this violent act, you feel so low and so bad and in need of guidance, and reach out to your goddess. and the absolute lack of a response just makes you feel empty inside" and i was like :) oh :) okay cool :) you love to see that with your paladins huh)

at this point the druid came back in and, instead of erley like. examining any of their own shit immediately lashed out at her and was like "why did you lie to me about the fey, why did you lie about why you were here, why ARE you here because i realize now it wasnt to help me"

and at that point ONE OF THE FEY QUEENS WALKED IN and the druid was like "... mother ..." and we were all :O

so it turns out the fey queen is her birth mom but had like? kidnapped one of the children of her firbolg tribe and was holding her hostage and the druid was on a quest to find her and bring her back

so erley :) felt :) even more bad about that :) and very shamedly pledged their help to her, and basically was like "as long as youre on this noble quest i will follow you if you'll have me"

so we're on our second arc now, which is traveling across the country to go meet the fey queen and get this kid back. as we were traveling my dm had me roll religion and a luck check and i got a 21 ON RELIGION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER and a 6 luck. and he was like "you dont usually dream, but you have a nightmare. you know this nightmare was given to you, it was divinely inspired, but you dont know who sent it" and it was just erley killing leora over and over and over again. so they were like. well fuck

(my dm also messaged me privately and we talked and he was like. yeah you can get rid of your oath of devotion and change it to oath of the ancients, i am not telling you or erley why the subclass has changed and you also might get nerfed later. also level up barbarian for the next fight)

so erley was. feeling PRETTY DANG BAD and very guilty and stressed and all that. they did also realize their barbarian side was getting stronger which, considering their backstory is all tragic barbarian shit they were NOT happy about. i was fully prepared to have them be more ostracized from the party and go into full angst mode, but then the druid actually like. pulled them aside and explained why she had hidden information from them, and had a very sweet conversation with them and held their hand and it was VERY touching (she also had the baller line "you think your goddess can hear you and she's not answering. but maybe you're talking in a whisper and she needs to hear you scream")

we had another fight (we're level 7 and my dm told us after it was a cr 32 fight like. dude??? what the fuck?????) and once again erley didnt go down only because of rage

THEY ALSO UNINTENTIONALLY CAST MISTY STEP (which is an ancients spell they didnt have before) and were like WELL NO TIME TO UNPACK WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT NOW, HAVE TO NOT DIE

after the battle was over i asked to roll a check to figure out why i had access to that spell and got :) yeah you guessed it :) another nat 1 :) so erley has literally no idea how they cast that or what it could mean. we just had a new pc introduced who is a sorcerer so erley is definitely going to talk to her and see if she knows anything. because they are FULLY IN THE DARK about their subclass change or what that means in game

we're also (because of the fucking cr 32 fight) going to be leveling up again soon, and babey you KNOW im leveling barbarian. after rage kept me up and then rolling another nat 1 religion check, and also me the player not knowing whats up with their goddess/magic, i simply cant level paladin rn. so im BETWEEN A FEW SUBCLASS OPTIONS and ive been thinking them over but i think it really depends how the next few games go

my FULL ANGST option was to make them level into zealot barbarian like their awful dad, but i thought that made the least sense in universe rn

secondary angst option is to level into berserker, which i think fits pretty closely with how i've been roleplaying the rage so far. trading off an extra attack for a level of exhaustion fits pretty closely. also whump central

the NICE option is to have them be a totem warrior barbarian, and have both their paladin steed and their totem be a bull :) (they are a cowboi after all) i think thats the closest i can marry their two classes and potentially have some healthy growth for them, let them see that the rage doesnt HAVE to be a bad thing, that being a barbarian isnt something they HAVE to be ashamed of. reskinning the bear totem would give them resistance to all damage but psychic while raging, and im planning on taking the tough feat, so theyd pretty much be ... an unstoppable tank. plus i can still divine smite while in rage so theyd be VERY powerful

and now youre all caught up on my very special boi :))))) bet you didnt expect quite that much of an infodump but. listen. listen im simply obsessed with dnd i cannot help it. any chance to talk about my characters i WILL TAKE IN A HEARTBEAT (thank u for prompting my ramble lmao)

[mallowstep]

Wait... in the reed and leopard combo au misty and leopard could bond over shared trauma re: tigerstar and also being uncertain about motherhood (obvs reed isn't tigerstar but still) and stonefur's importance to both of them (in different ways but again still)

yeah! yeah.

i mean they bond over 2/3 of those things in the leopard au as Is (altho i'm on a huge leopard & stone kick rn so -- sorry to misty & leopard stans), but yeah.

i mean mistyfoot goes...up to...tawnypelt's warrior ceremony, which...i mean the implication of tbirasacw, i hope, is not that it covers their every interaction, but covers an idea of what happened. i could always add more moments, but i'm trying to tell a story, not cause everyone infinite pain

but she's uncomfortable with being a mother anyway and. yeah.

they're good friends.

[queen-rogah]

Chasing Dreams - Part 3

A Queen AU Series

Summary: In the year of 1971, a fresh out of college girl like you dreamed to be the best musician/performer you will ever be. You have been performing in a pub since you’re 17, earning a small amount of money through singing in the train station by sun down. Until the time passed, someone saw you singing in your usual corner in that station and little did you know that he will help you change your life to chase your dream as a performer…

Warnings: mild angst (like mild depression and anxiety problems) mild fluff, it’s not that much for this part

Word Count: 3.3k+ words

Note: AND DOUBLE UPDATE OF THIS SERIES SINCE IT’S BEEN SITTING FOR TWO DAYS SO THAT’S WHY I HAVE TO POST IT RN :)

*MASTERLIST*

PART 1 | PART 2

________________________

♡♡♡ PART THREE: “MUSIC FOR THE BROKEN SOUL” ♡♡♡

THREE WEEKS AFTER

Graduation happened a week ago, that was the day that you hated. You have to see most of their faces, those devilish faces that played you in that damn party. You still didn’t told your father about what happened, you just told him that you and Jonathan have this fight, that’s why he caught you drowned in your own tears walking home from the party. You still didn’t talked to Jonathan, he tried giving you a reassuring smile, waving his hand here and there but that won’t help you being so broken to what happened. William was speaking to Maya, eyeing you everytime you walk past them then hear their laughs that you could probably punch their faces in that second. But you didn’t do that, you didn’t defend yourself to them or even ask them why did they do that to you. You didn’t even do anything to them in that night. Through the whole ceremony, you’re still feeling your heart breaks and tears pooling in your eyes. That night supposed to be memorable, since it’s the end of being in college but it just turned upside down. It became wicked to you.

After that graduation week, you worked part time at your father’s pub then down the bakery just blocks away from your street. You still sing to the people going in the pub, still enjoying the music you deliver. And now you have this goal set in your mind, that you have a dream already, is to become a professional musician. That’s why you still sing in the train station by sunset, waiting for the commuters to come and give their change to you, throwing it on your guitar case.

…

THREE MONTHS LATER - OCTOBER 26, 1971

“Hey Dad!,” Your sister Rosalie called from her room as she skipped her way towards the kitchen where you and your Dad are preparing for dinner. “My boyfriend is coming over, mind if you and Y/N…be on your best behavior?.”

“So I can finally meet this boyfriend of yours huh? I hope he’s not like the last one Rosalie.” Dad said while chopping the vegetables. You’re marinating the meat for you to pop it in the oven afterwards.

“Promise. Brian is just…the best Dad, I think he’s the one for me.” Rosalie said in her lovey-dovey tone of her voice.

“And Mom called earlier too,” You spoke, making both of them whip their heads at you, “Saying that she can’t come to dinner again. I miss talking to her while we eat dinner…”

“Oh dear,” Your Dad reassures, holding you in his arms, “She’ll make it up to you. Your mother is just too busy okay?.”

You bite down your lip as you nod your head at him. Rosalie just gave you a small smile before heading out to her room again, probably change her outfit for her boyfriend to show up later. You finished the meat as you put it on a tray then in the oven.

“Okay Dad it’s already sunset, I need to go to the train station. Promise I’ll be home by dinnertime.” You smiled at him, kissing his cheeks goodbye as you head out to the living room. Getting your guitar and putting on your thick jacket. You walk towards the station where you can see Ned who is the ticket holder, rummaging through his desk.

You knocked on his booth as he shot his head to you, giving you a smile, “Y/N! Just in time for your audience to come.”

“Right on it Ned.” You tip your imaginary hat to him before you took a seat to your usual spot, where this old crates laying in this corner as you brought out your guitar, opening the case for the people to put their change on it. You close your eyes as you think of a song, but everytime you think of something, your mind keeps coming back on the incident to that party. Seeing yourself crying and feeling that broken heart. And then suddenly that song you’ve been singing inside the closet before played in your mind as you began strumming your guitar. Opening your eyes, and sigh, singing the first verse.

Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old Sometimes I’d like to quit Nothin’ ever seems to fit Hangin’ around Nothin’ to do but frown Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

The train is approaching. Hearing the faint hiss of smoke coming from that transportation vehicle. Still singing your heart out.

What I’ve got they used to call the blues Nothin’ is really wrong Feelin’ like I don’t belong Walkin’ around Some kind of lonely clown Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Then the train stops in front of you, seeing the usual people you see, as they walk towards your direction, hearing you sing and smiling down on you. They put their money in your case before leaving this place, you feel your heart is getting a little better to see what you’ve been earning through music. This music is not just for the money of your dreams, it’s for your broken soul too.

Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you Nice to know somebody loves me Funny, but it seems that it’s the only thing to do Run and find the one who loves me

You thought of Jonathan in the lyrics you just sang, because he’s just the only person that’s been there for you. All your life you shared with him, all the laughter, the sadness, the craziness that happened through your childhood, adolescence and your adult life. You feel sorry to him, because he did nothing wrong. And you just pushed him away, declining his love as your best friend. You thought of a plan in talking to him again, maybe tomorrow…or the next day. You cursed to yourself that you don’t even know what to say to him.

You suck in a breath as you continue singing, looking around if they are still people. And then you saw this man, stepping out of the train, who’s also holding his own guitar case and a shoulder bag. This is just the first time you ever see him go here, and then your eyes trailed over his brown curly hair reaching down his collarbones. He’s wearing this pinstripes suit and a white shirt inside, matching with a dark velvet flares and white kicks. You didn’t noticed yourself staring up at him while singing, because he have this perfect nose and jawline and everything. You just saw his hazel eyes, he looked…good.

You look away from him when he took strides forward but stopped when he saw you here, you looked up at him and gave him a small smile before he gave you the same also. He brought out a paper bill, not a change like people do, as he left the station. You ended your song, counting the money you earned. But you can’t forget that beautiful man offered such a huge amount for a street singer like you. So you still sang a few more songs until the station is empty. You put the money inside the aluminum can from your bag as you fix your guitar in the case again. Saying your goodbyes to Ned before leaving again. You reached your street, to suddenly see Jonathan sitting by himself in their front porch. You mentally debated if you’ll approach him or not, but you still did. Sucking up your inhibitions before walking to him, he noticed you walking towards him but he didn’t said a word, he just watch you put your guitar down and sat beside him.

“So? How are you?.” You firstly asked. He’s quiet today. “Jonathan?.”

“I’m not fine. They’ve been fighting non-stop of who will get me on their sides. My father wants me to come with him in Kensington, but my mother said that she and I will be moving in Brixton. But I don’t want to leave here, West Hampstead have been my home. And I don’t want to lose my friends here, especially you Y/N…” He teared up as he looks away from you, not going to see his waterworks.

This is how he means to much to you, so you tried not to cry as you pull your best friend in a hug, so tight that it can crush him. He chuckles in your gesture as he hugged you back. “It’s your choice if you leave or not. Your parents just wants to know what’s best for you.” You said.

“But I don’t want to leave here. I really don’t want to leave you…” He looks at you. You’re seeing those swollen eyes that are mildly deep, maybe he don’t sleep that easy with his parents fighting like that.

“Then tell them you don’t Jonathan. I don’t want you leave either. You’re my only best friend in my life and I don’t want to lose you too.” You said, seeing him look away again.

Then he faces you again, this time with the small smile you’ve been looking for from him, “I promise I won’t leave this place. For you and for me.” He said.

“I love you Jonathan…” You mumbled as you felt his lungs suck in a huge breath. He pulled you in his arms again and kissed your head.

“I love you too Y/N…”

After talking to Jonathan, you said your goodbyes and see him get inside his house again. You walk back to your house and entered, closing the door behind you. You removed your jacket and put your guitar down as you heard voices from the dining room already. And you heard this different voice that you assume it’s your sister’s boyfriend now. You fixed your hair in a ponytail before heading inside the dining room. Your eyes widened when you see your sister’s boyfriend before you.

“Y/N! You’re here now, c'mon have a seat.” Your Dad called you and pat the vacant chair beside him. Only across Rosalie and the man you are just gazing back in the train station. “Y/N, you have to meet–”

“You?.” Rosalie’s boyfriend spoke as you froze in your spot, looking in those hazel eyes again.

Rosalie furrowed her brows as she eyed you and him, “Have you met each other?.” She asked.

“No, I…uh–” You stammer.

“I saw her singing songs in the train station earlier. She’s good in playing the guitar and singing also. That’s why I gave her a huge tip.” He said. And there you tried to hide your blush in his compliment.

Rosalie chuckles, “Brian here is also a musician himself too. He’s in a band called Smile, and yeah…” She said.

“You’re in Smile?.” You asked him as he faces you again while eating the dinner. “I…love your song Doing Alright.”

Brian grinned at you, “You didn’t tell me your sister listens to us. And thank you, it’s a pleasure for you to like our music.” He said.

“I have no idea also,” Rosalie let out an uncomfortable chuckle. Yeah, you don’t know about that because you don’t care about me. Those words swims in your mind. “By the way, Dad…Brian is staying here for three days because they have a gig here.”

Fuck, now he still have to stay here.

“Sure of course Brian is welcome here! And you should also perform in my pub, if you’d like.” Your father asked him.

“Of course sir, I’ll call the band from home so that they will come up here. Maybe we can perform by tomorrow night?.” Brian said and your father nod his head.

“Sure do son.” He smiles and put his arms on your shoulder. You slowly eat your dinner, never getting your eyes on your sister and him being so in love. Lucky her, she got this man who is a musician and who is in the band you slightly admire. And now all you have to do is sit and stare at him and her.

…

You look over to your clock to see it’s already 11PM while you’re still here writing down your journal for some lyrics in your mind. You start to wonder why your father just invited his band, and that threatens your light in that stage in your father’s pub. All of the people there loves you performing and singing your heart out but now this band is going to steak your limelight by tomorrow night. You felt like you’re not important anymore and you lie down your bed, staring at the ceiling. You’re just important in your mother’s life and in Jonathan’s life. You don’t care about Rosalie and her little boyfriend right now–even though you have a little crush on Brian in the first place–you still don’t care.

You jump in shock when you suddenly heard faint moans and bed creaks from the wall where your headboard is. Knowing that it’s coming from your sister’s room. She knows the walls are fucking thin between your rooms and she doesn’t even care that you’re here, trying to finish your own song or would be sleeping now. You groaned in annoyance as the sound became faster, probably changing their positions. Good thing that your father’s room is in the end of the hallway that’s why he can’t hear anything, only you is the victim.

You closed your journal, throwing it on the edge of your bed and get under the covers, then used your pillow to cover your ears. But it won’t budge, as you still heard their noises. You’re this close in barging inside and be the cockblock to your sister and him, but that would be rude and Rosalie would kill you. So, you walk towards your record player as you played a song, a Hendrix song where you can only hear playing his guitar and his voice on this record. Their noises died down, maybe they are finished. But you still didn’t stop your music.

Purple haze, all in my brain Lately things they don’t seem the same Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why Excuse me while I kiss the sky

Your bang your head in the air, feeling the music and the rhythm of it’s beat. Your slumber faded away as you still write your own song while listening to some other music until it’s already in the middle of the night.

Rosalie and Brian on the other hand just finished their business, she was already sleeping in his arms and he suddenly heard the Hendrix song from next door, hearing from your room. He was lip syncing the lyrics, and also hearing you sing loudly in this late hour. He slowly let go of Rosalie in his arms as he change up, he left the room quietly and sighed deeply. Brian never felt this feeling of a home ever since he left his home and start living with himself. Rosalie was lucky that she’s still with her family. He went downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water as he leans against the kitchen counter and then he saw this framed picture on the wall where he see Jimi Hendrix beside a girl. Brian was astonished in this polaroid picture, reading on the handwritten text on the bottom.

Me (Y/N) & My number one inspiration, Hendrix. 1967.

And Brian look over Jimi Hendrix’s signature over the picture. Rosalie’s sister is so young in this picture, so young and lucky to meet her idol that is also his inspiration.

“Admiring the photo?.”

Brian quickly look on his left to see you standing by the doorway, leaning there as you look at him looking at your photograph, “Oh bloody hell…” Brian cursed.

“So? You like Hendrix too?.” You asked, going towards the fridge to get a glass of milk. Brian gulped a bit when he saw a small view of your knickers under that oversized shirt as you bend down from the fridge, Brian shaking his head to get that image away from his head.

“I…uh, yeah. I do.” Brian stammers, scratching the back of his neck. You stood beside you and stare at the picture too. You remember this concert where you and your mother went, and after that performance, you just found the Jimi Hendrix backstage–because your mom’s friend is working as the staff there that’s why you can go backstage–and took this photo with him. You remember being in cloud nine when he signs the photo afterwards and gave you his guitar pick. That was the happiest day of your life.

“I was seventeen at that time, living my best life as a teenager. Not thinking of hard things for my family. Everything is just…good.” You said and move away from him.

Brian was silent beside you, he’s just so speechless. “Hard things…you say?.” He asked you.

“Yeah, sometimes my father would be so down to himself in running the pub business. So I helped him with that, I come up with the idea of bringing real music in that place. We set up a stage there and borrowed some old instruments from our friends and…that’s where the pub became big in that street.” You said, feeling uplifted reminiscent. You want to say that his girlfriend, your hell of a sister Rosalie didn’t think of a single solution for the pub, ever in her life. She’s just going out, meeting friends, be consumed with alcohol through the night. She’s nothing of an older sister to you. But you thought that it’s just to rude to say to her own boyfriend here.

“I’m glad you’ve got to help your father. He’s really a good man, never expecting that he’s just too kind.” Brian chuckles as you smiled, nodding at him.

This is just weird because you’re having a heart to heart conversation with your sister’s boyfriend while it’s already midnight.

“I saw you with a guitar earlier. May I see it?.” You asked out of the blue. Brian put up a smile as he went to the living room, following him to see his guitar case by the couch. He sat down and held the guitar, letting it out to see a beauty before your eyes. You haven’t seen a guitar looking like that. The red color is just…perfect. You sat across him, admiring the looks of his guitar.

“Your guitar is…beautiful.” You whispered.

“Me and my father made it together,” Brian spoke as you surprisingly looked at him. “This guitar is just made from scraps because buying a new guitar is too expensive. So that’s why we made one.”

You grinned, “That’s amazing.”

“It is, as much as you and your father building a stage to perform on too.” He said, never stop smiling at you. He’s just so glad that he found someone like you to talk about music unlike Rosalie. So he guess this is the start of friendship with you.

“I didn’t…introduced myself properly to you earlier,” You rambled and stretch out your hand, “Hi I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Rosalie’s sister.”

Then Brian shake hands with you, “I’m Brian May.” He smiles.

And now, you both didn’t knew this will be the start of something new to you and Brian.

______________________

*TAGLIST:

@luvborhap @ziggymay @lilytalebi

IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAGLIST LET ME KNOW :)

[voidvoyeur]

ok lads i’m be real for  a sec

ordinarily i wouldn’t feel the need to post this kind of thing online bc i usually rely on a support system in real life but idk ... i just wanted to and it gets to a relevant point irt experience on here and how you guys are Really Cool Okay i promise

the start of this year has been like Fucking Shit for me personally. if you don’t want to read the reasons why bc they deal with animal death and family loss then that’s cool like just scroll to the next paragraph. but basically at the end of january my family’s black labrador of fifteen years passed away which i was absolutely devastated by and i had the support i needed at the time, however on the 2nd of this month, my grandad also passed away and i just WAS NOT able to work through the grief properly bc of university work and pressure to meet deadlines, it wasn’t until the funeral & wake yesterday (which was actually rly nice) that i felt guilt-free of not doing work buuut bc of this prior mental compartmentalisation i was going thru to get work done,, i p much just emotionally crashed at a friend’s bday party in the evening i rly wanted to go to (luckily i didn’t ruin it and had friends who supported me throughout and we all wanted to leave early anyway but breaking down was the one thing i didn’t want to do) and like YEAH U GET IT

so with those losses, i want to be there for my fam as much as possible, and my family environment is the healthiest in terms of support i need, but i can’t mourn with them nor support them fully because this university year is my last. technically no one is allowed to request extended deadlines (more time to get final assignments done) bc then they can’t graduate this year -- if you get the extended deadlines you have no choice but to go to the graduation ceremony next year which would fuck me up a lot bc i want to be there with the friends who have been with me in my classes and who i’ve made warm 90s music video montage memories with from year 1

on top of that, i’m moving house and have to be packed and ready by saturday. this would usually be rly exciting if not for everything in my life being so AAAAA already and so any excitement is overridden by stress. left, right and centre i have people asking me what i want to  do after i graduate, what job i want, how i’m going to get it etc. and in any other context that isn’t my family asking it, i get hypersensitive and encouragement just translates as expectation and bc i have no answer (bc am literally just tryna get thru what’s happening NOW thanks mate) it immediately feels like i’m failing expectation so i just shut down. with everything going on i’ve just had to accept i may not get my ideal grade that i originally aimed for and lecturers said i could get, but that’s just how life works -- your priorities change and only now, after being able to process everything emotionally, have i been able to get the necessary motivation to even do the uni work i need to, as well as figuring out what i can get done and when. it’s just REALLY SHIT timing that all of this is happening at once, like you’re being kicked repeatedly while already on the floor

venting over now but my whole point with this post is that being on here has been the least stressful place for me. like i know everyone has their own issues but the fact that everyone is on here just kind of enjoying they’re thing and you’re being you on the dash is ideal respite from the amount of shit i’m trying to carry in me life. as well as this, the people i’ve spoken to, even if only briefly through IM, have been hugely helpful and has honestly meant a lot to me. talking with you guys is SO easy and fun and it means a profound amount to me that you’re taking the time out of your day to just have a laff or plot or make a starter & reply to a thread. you’ve all been such a positive influence and mood booster at times when i rly needed it.. like not once have i gotten into a rly bad depressive funk where i’m like THE WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME !! bc it just doesn’t feel that way w ppl on here being so kind and punk

bc of this, i just want to clarify as well that  if we DO talk and i’m suddenly absent for a couple days, and if it seems like i’m relying on you to write the starters, you’re mainly initiating conversation, i’m not sending memes (tbh i rly encourage ppl to send link to memes they’ve reblogged so i don’t miss them) etc. it’s not me being uninterested AT ALL nor am i putting on a front abt being excited for threads n stuff, it’s literally that w/ the amount of stuff going on sometimes i need to be away from my laptop, and rn it’s a lot  easier to have the energy to chat w/ someone for a bit or reply to an ooc post than to try and find the time and energy to write something Properly.

but yeah the tl;dr is life is the most stressful it’s ever been for me atm but you all have been proper quality, incredibly supportive altho u may be oblivious to how exactly and if i could i give u all a teletubbie hug i so would.. or at least have michael farm dbd points with u all and moonwalk across ur screens ..... @bhvr just let me party on a map with all my friends and mutuals pls. but for now all i can offer is pumpkin ferret ..... 

peace & love always !! ✌🧡

[elfgirl931]

D&D Recap

I always seem to go away from our sessions thinking, “wow, that was so intense! Nothing could top that!” And yet, the next session almost always proves me wrong. This one especially.

Last time, we’d escaped from this tower called the Feathergale Spire, which we thought was inhabited by nice but weird noblemen who liked to fly around on griffons and big vultures and hunt stuff. They wanted us to go upstairs for this sketchy ceremony and we found out through the power of Friends that they were actually the Cult of the Howling Hatred. Fantastic. My cleric was almost levitated off a bridge into a 400 ft deep chasm, but she cast Dispel Magic on the floating guy/cult leader and made him fall instead. This comes into play later.

We’d decided to use Featherfall to go down and investigate the chasm because there were weird things going on down there. Long story short, we ended up in an ancient, ruined dwarven city called Tyarbeselmer (sp?). There were lots of creepy bird people that imitate voices, a dude that makes flutes out of people’s bones, and lots of cultists :)

Our sorcerer and bard pretended to be new recruits to the cult while the rest of the party stealthed behind. This resulted in the monk and warrior wanted to knock out some people chained to pillars to steal their cultist robes! I disagreed strongly and tried to talk to the prisoners, but they were apparently members of the cult starving themselves for some sort of test? It was hard to communicate with them. Which resulted in the monk and warrior getting their way after all.

We put on the robes and pretended the monk was our prisoner, “like Chewie, we just fake tied his hands,” following our bard and sorcerer through use of communication bracelets

We passed by a huge blue guy sadly fixing the marble in a chamber. He said he was a genie named Atair and he had been there for thousands of years trying to fix the disrepair of the city at the command of the last dwarven king. We found out that the cult leader had the horn that could command him behind her throne. We promised to help him if we could  but he warned us that the queen could blow the horn and command him to come to her aid and he’d have no choice even though he didn’t want to.

He also told us that the cult was attempting to summon Yan C Bin (an evil demigod, apparently?) from the elemental plane of air. We said nah.

So the sorcerer is in there talking to the queen, trying to buy us time (still pretending to be a recruit) and the queen demands her staff (it’s a really cool lightning/thunder staff). She said no way and when the queen stood up and started getting ticked, the sorcerer just goes “screw you, no one takes my staff,” and blasts her with the full power of the staff (lightning and thunder together)

At this point I’m biting my hand to keep from screaming

The queen had tons of henchmen in there (see last night’s photo, yikes). Opens up the round with Chain Lightning and we’re down so. much. HP.

The monk charges past everyone and goes behind the throne, grabs the horn and blows it... but nothing happened. We were getting our butts handed to us, I think the bard went down twice. I couldn’t buff anyone because I planned poorly and was trying to keep everyone healed

But then! The genie did show up! He told the monk to issue him one command, so he goes, “kill everyone in this building who is not us.” Our DM got the most evil look on his face and everyone at the table is screaming

I found out that I’d been rolling wrong on my mace attacks, so now my cleric is much more effective at plain attacks. I rolled a natural 20 on a hit, suddenly the diadem she’s wearing (that we found a few sessions back) glowed with a radiant blue fire that enveloped her head, and the mace suddenly glowed with blue fire too! That unlocked me being able to do an extra d4 radiant damage on mace attacks once a day, which is pretty neato.

We actually took down the queen much more easily than we thought, but just when we thought we’d be ok, the genie was like, yeah, there’s more coming, including Caz

We’re like who tf is Caz and he’s like, oh, just a Yuntai abomination. He’s probably going to kill all of us but since you have commanded me to fight I must :)  So we go outside and there’s this humongous effing snake and a whole bunch of scary bird people and we were already pretty low on HP and spells BUT HEY WE’RE DOING THIS

Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, the punk that tried to throw me off a bridge earlier showed up and he was super mad that I took away his flight spell and almost killed him, so guess who he’s after???

I truly thought we were dead. The genie summoned a tornado picking people up and the sorcerer was like “CAN I MAKE IT INTO A FIRE TORNADO??” Cue sad faces when the DM said no. 

Best moment was the monk kicking the crap out of the snake dude so bad that he fell into a bottomless wind pit of some sort (cue my husband singing “I fell in the pit” by Andy Dwyer)

I got 2 hdywtdt in a row, just on mace attack and spiritual weapon, but it was pretty cool nonetheless. I don’t get too many of those, & I know getting them isn’t the point of D&D, but it just makes me feel cool.

We miraculously survived, all totally tapped out of spells & the genie’s like, hey do you guys want to come back to my place? Being shady AF and not telling us where or whether we’d be safe there. Everyone wanted to go but my cleric, obvi. I’m the team mom/wet blanket :/

So he he leaves and comes back like 20 minutes later to give us some stuff and was like “hey btw how long was I gone?” And I was like “how long do you think you were gone?” and he just goes :)))) oh it’s different for mortals and I was like SEE? SEE WHY WE DIDN’T GO WITH HIM?

We’re hiding out in an abandoned house in the city, barricaded the doors with old furniture, but the DM said just before we closed, “make sure you come next time with your same HP and spells checked off, don’t assume you’re getting a long rest rn” and we’re all ???????????????????