#once again i am thinking of the Fat Old Fertile Fish headline btw

[mychlapci]

Also had thoughts about that mer au and I'm kinda giddy bc a fandom I was into in 2019 had a v similar concept so now I'm borrowing to offer:

The mermechs shouldn't be breeding as fast as they should. In their natural habitat, it's probably every few years they pair up to mate or feel truly comfortable to settle down with clutches or pups. Now they're in an environment that's closed off from predators and most rivals, have consistent food access medical attention and clueless and too terrified caretakers. It's a perfect storm for a breeding frenzy.

Mers that feed their pups ending up with larger, saggier tits, valves are ruined by the so frequent breeding and birthing and sense of self preservation goes out the window. Probably a few start fucking each other's spike sheaths since the valves are no longer right. Maybe the staff have to start fully separating even bonded sets for their own safety, as well as having to do medical repairs on sheaths and slits. But of course the mers can't go cold turkey, so the staff have to get all sorts of things to stuff and distract the mers.

And not everyone is a saint, so it doesn't take long to find out how viable a land and mer mech are for producing offspring

oh holy shit now that’s interesting. Mers suddenly breeding rapidly in facility tanks and research aquariums because they’re constantly fed, safe, and no one bothers them in there...

A mer getting so over-excited to breed that they shove their spike into their partner’s loose valve the moment the last of their pups is out, filling their stretched, worn gestation tank again. Then again, and again, and again. 

A mer that had been bred so much that they’re too fat to swim properly, and they can only drag themself alongside the floor of the tank, their constantly swollen array bruising itself against the rocks and pebbles as they struggle to get to where the food is. In the ocean this wouldn’t be possible, they’d have to keep at least part of their agility to hunt for food and escape danger, but here? In a pretty, filtered tank? What’s stopping them from having more pups? (y'know, maybe at first most facilities didn’t mind the breeding… some, perhaps at the start most of them, would sell the pups and make bank. The mers were kept blissfully unaware, believing their young were sent off to grow up in the wide ocean, as is custom)

hrghhh a mer fucking their partner’s spike sheath because their valve is completely ruined, turned inside out and completely loose after years of endless birthing and breeding. The staff has to constantly repair their merformers because they end up completely used and abused after a while. After repairs all the bondmates have to be separated even though it seems to be taking a toll on their mental wellbeing. But the moment they reconnect them, they attempt to breed again and by now they should have really learnt their lesson, but… instinct wins. Safety, an abundance of food, their beloved partners… it just activates the drive to breed within them automatically. They can't help it. Even if it hurts after a while.

Most facilities now have to figure out how to release their mers back into the wild without fucking the whole ecosystem up.