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aadhiskanmani · 5 years

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I am back with Part 2 as promised earlier also because it was bugging me that i have left it incomplete the other day. The formatting is going to remain exactly the same way.. am just saving myself some extra text clutter , time and typing/copy paste this time round LOL.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS COMPLETELY MY OPINION ABOUT THE FOLLOWING FEATURES. I feel the need to say this again because last time too i got a message but x,y,z film has x,y,z issues . I've said it before and i will say it again It is all a mixed Bag, Mixed Genres, Mixed reasons to suggest them right from the quality to acting to cinematography to story to critical acclaim to some just for PURE ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. I makes these lists because I feel these features deserve love and appreciation and because some made me feel Proud and some just for pure entertainment factor . Sidenote.. all titles are actual links where you can watch the features with subs and most of these are On prime video or netflix as well

K.G.F: Chapter 1 |Kannada| *Yash | alt Link A young man's promise to his dying mother leads him on a dangerous quest for power and wealth. If I may say so this One pretty much did the same thing in terms of opening doors to kannada film industry like Baahubali did to tollywood. This one followed the formula and dubbed it in multiple languages and gave it a wide release worldwide which raised eyeballs and got me curious too esp caz this one has a similar plot with the rise of a hero and the hunger for power just set in a completely different world and era. Now the Strength here is the screenplay and the non-linear pattern which keeps you engaged, with the growth of Rocky being shown steadily. The film is set between 1951 to 2018 and maintains a sense of curiosity as each character is unveiled. Yash is Phenomenal in it as rocky. I said it back then when i watched it and i will say it again He exuded the same kind of charisma say like a 70′s 80′s hero e.g Mr Bachchan from his blockbuster hits where he Played similar roles or salman khan in his typical masala characters basically Larger than life even if he has this arc of being a nobody to Rocky Bhai to Rocky the messiah. One word of Caution... This one gets a lil confusing in Kannada and with subs as there are too many characters and each one has his/her own agenda. i was confused at many parts but then i watched the hindi dubbed version and it made a world of difference. this one is fairly well dubbed too just like baahubali and what i mean is the voices didn’t sound robotic. Also i personally felt they went a little too far with the dukhi junta in prison in 2nd half and the violence as in it got very tedious but thank God that got over soon with the rise of this hero but it is worth watching and rest of it is really good, esp the last 15 mins WOWWWWW I cannot wait for part 2. Also my only sandalwood entry.

p.s all dubbed versions are available on prime including Hindi but i have linked the kannada originals

Fidaa | tel |*Varun Tej, Sai Pallavi (on Prime as well) Two young people embark on a winding and rocky path to love after meeting at a wedding. First of all supercute romantic, comedy/ family drama but what is refreshing about it is that it is Mainly from the Heroine’s POV and we have a VERY STRONG heroine who has her opinions, her say ,her own thought process and who is just so real. On the surface it looks like just another tollywood rom com but it’s Not. the music is really Good too and Sai Pallavi is A bundle of joy as Bhanu who calls the shots mostly here. Needless to say it is one of my Feel good films when i want to see something that makes me smile and gives me that comfort vibe i go to this one mostly.

Tumbbad|hin|*soham shah . A man and his son encounter a legendary demon while searching for hidden treasure in 19th-century India.

This one will come as a surprise to many as it is a hindi title but This one a rare gem that is Underrated af and i haven’t seen a finer hindi film in the last year because of how rich it’s content is and how thought provoking it is. The makers have invested years in getting to final result and it shows. this one gave me goosebumps, sacred me, left me mesmerized and make me go WHAT too. This is also on this list because you may not have heard about it at all just like myself who had no idea and jumped into it out of supreme boredom and was left in complete awwwwww and then did my reading and research. This one is a well thought out psychological horror film with strong visuals and metaphors and makes you question as it plays with your mind. Tumbbad is a perfect example of a film that creates a surreal illusion.

Imaikkaa Nodigal| Tam| Nayanthara,Atharvaa, Anurag kashyap: alt link A suave CBI officer (Nayanthara), is in search of a serial killer who kidnaps and kills the children of important people. The killer, however, is targeting his nemesis next. a revenge thriller with a strong Plot unpredictable and amazing twists.Each character has an important role and Nayan As a Bad ass cop who freaking sets the bar too high for female officers in desi films. THis one is one of the finest Thrillers in recent years which actually gives you thrills and Shocks and most of them one can’t guess. Let me be honest i gave upon this seeing anurag kasyap as the antagonist as i was unable to bear rudra and just his Ottness on top of that atharvaa’s lovestory as the parallel track mad me go ehhh as i initially clicked on it for nayan and there was so little of her in the beginning but then i gave it another try and couldn’t stop & was WOWEDDD by the Film and Nayan as anjali and yeah she is the MAIN CHARACTER so we get a lot of her later. She is at her FINEST as anjali. this is the film one wants to watch to get a high of sorts. WATCH IT FOR NAYAAAN FOR A STRONG FEMALE ACTOR/CHARACTER Taking the center stage and BEING FANTASTIC. This one is so just so entertaining in so many ways and the film one can watch on any given day despite knowing the plot twist. Beware Nayan and Vijay’s little arc is heartbreaking and i cried a lot tooooooooo... i was shattered at that part..... it is so hauntingly shot too. TW: Graphic violence In that scene

Mahanati|Tel|* Dulquer Salmaan, keerthy suresh, samantha, vijay D |alt link Biopic based on The life story of South Indian actress Savitri, who took the film industry by storm in the late '50s and '60s Mahanati is a film about the rise of the first female south Indian superstar – Savitri. Her story one of the most heart wrenching romantic tragedies of our times.This film tells a story of the Mahanati; her life, her journey to fame, and the dramatic downfall. Keerthy Suresh, elegantly brought Savitri to life, and Gemini Ganesan, played by Dulquer Salman, makes this film a true pleasure to watch. I had no idea who Savitri was i went into it because DQ and Again was BLOWN AWAY by How well made this film is and how it is made with so much sensitivity and rawness. it keeps the real journey part intact as in doesn’t sugarcoats or overly glamorizes things to show Savitri as some mahaan hasti. They make this film the Grand celebration of her life with all her struggles and tragedies and makes you connect with her in a very real manner and All this Makes this film so much more than a film. this one becomes that Larger than life Grand,SHE IS A HERO More because she truly is rather than OH because she had this sob story IYKWIM like hindi Biopics do. They have made savitri Grand By her resilience by her courage by her will power and invested in the character and plot rather than all taam jhaam. This one is By far the best Biopic i’ve seen from desi industries and Not One and i mean it NOT one Hindi biopic even comes close to this one in terms of presentation. Keerthy suresh is a joy to watch as savitri. i am not gonna lie i broke down at few points and that is because of her acting and laughed too i connected so strongly to an actress’s story (who i had no idea about as in savitri i had 0 knowledge about savitri or in general about south industries retro eras ) only because of keerthy’s presentation.Also dulquer is a Joy as gemini ganeshan. he really slipped into it with ease and lived upto the part. they have achieved finesse in showcasing a life story and recreating old songs from black & white era. If nothing else on this list watch this and imaikaa nodigal and you won’t regret it

Rangasthalam |tel| *Ramcharan, Samantha : Chitti Babu, a hearing impaired boat skipper, becomes caught in the middle of a political feud in the village of Rangasthalam. Watch this one for Ram charan’s performance He is a delight to watch as chitti babua and this easily is his Best WORK till date this character have so much to play with and He ACES IT . The strong and intriguing story line is also a Plus . The film is not just set in the 80s; it also picks a story template from that era and narrates the tale in a refreshingly raw manner but the characters are so well fleshed out they don’t look caricatures by any means. the songs are grand and super fun to watch too.

Maari 2 |tam|* dhanush, sai pallavi : Maari, a gangster with a heart of gold, tangles with a new nemesis who is determined to bring about his downfall. First things first this one is mileas ahead of the previous version in everything. A much stronger film in every way. Otherwise it is a pure masala entertainer with all the masala elements and dhanush and sai make a BOMB pair and their lil story is ahh sooo full of feelz.

Sudani from Nigeria |Mal|* soubin shahir: When a soccer club manager brings one of his injured foreign players home to recuperate, they form an unlikely bond despite their cultural differences.. A refreshing sports drama that touches your heart. explores the cultural differences so beautifully. the characters stay with you much longer after the film is over. The film effortlessly explores iissues in the neighborhood and much bigger political issues too. overall SImply an underrated film and one should watch it for it’s warmth and sincerity.

Koode|Mal|*prithviraj,nazriya nazim, paravthy A family tragedy causes a young man to reflect on his childhood and reassess his future.Anjali Menon and that brilliant cast should eb your reason to watch. i don’t think i need to say another word to convince you but still anyway. it takes you on and emotional roller coaster ride. it is a flawless film with an extraordinary cast. also Naz is as charming as ever in her comeback film. there are very few films who actually jump into exploring the bond between a brother and sister and this one aces it with reflecting upon various issues and things they had to go throughasa family as well as their individual struggles. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. Also Paro and prithvi yeah. .. simply OUTSTANDING film

Varathan |mal|* fahadh faasil,Aishwariya lekshmi: After losing his job, Abin and his wife, Priya, move from Dubai to Priya's family estate in Kerala, but peace eludes the couple. It takes it’s time in the first half but in second it comes all guns blazing and turns into a worth watching survival thriller. it does makes one uneasy at times with the contsant stalker guys lurking around but it is all worth the wait at the end. trust me..

Chekka Chivantha Vaanam |tam| *vijay sethupathi,arinswami,jyothika,simbu; An attempt is made on the life of a reigning don, and it sets in motion a succession battle between his three sons. In other words Godfather with Mani ratnam twists A delicious film to devour it si an out and out maniratnam film with massy fan moments and smart filmmaking techniques. watch it for performances esp. i wish jyo had more to do but she is good at what she does in her supporting role. . this one is a true blue multi starrer ,family drama.

Merku Thodarchi Malai |tam| Antony, Gayatri Krishnan, Abu Valayamkulam : it revolves around the life and times of a group of people living along the foothills of the Western Ghats. basically we travel along with Rangu ( teh pratagonist) who is a daily wage worker and his struggles in bringing that load upto the city and his one dream to own a piece of land someday. this oen is almost like a documentary. this makes you thank and count your blessings. feel every bit of pain and effort and struggle that these daily wage workers have to go through in their daily lives. i broke down at so many points and i just wanted to do something to help makes lives a bit easier. IDK it hit me so hard at places and made me thankful for all the things i have.

Mayanaadhi |Mal|*tovino thomas,aishwariya lekshmi : A mule driver in a gang and an aspiring actress try to navigate their way through an unexpected romance. Mayaanadhi is a beautiful tale of love. The emotions it conveys needs to be experienced and the movie gives us a taste of life. Aashiq Abu really knocked it out of the park once again with this one. this one. It is a simple enough tale with a plot that is real to life and familiar.It is perhaps the most Soulful Romantic film i’ve seen in last year or so.

Takeoff|Mal|*parvathy,fahadh : A young Muslim woman (Parvathy) struggles to find love and happiness in midst of the ongoing civil war in Iraq. It an ode to the Indian spirit. This is a riveting survival saga, made by a team gifted with acute political and social awareness. It is, in one word, stunning. Paro Simply have slayed. A bit like airlift as in the basic setting and premise is similar but poles apart. it is one hell of a film( in a good way) PARO,PARO,PARO. this is all i have to say to explain the brilliance of it.

and with that this comes to an end.. again please feel free to share your thoughts and opinions with me i would love to see you guys actually taking the use of this list and sharing your thoughts. Bye and Have a Wonderful Summer binge watching these hehe. i hope you love them as much as i do. looking forward to your thoughts

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cynicallystiles · 6 years

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Beach Sunrises: Aftertaste

Author: @cynicallystiles

Warning: MAJOR angst chapter, if you couldn’t already tell by the title. Maybe fluff? Knowing me probably cursing. Jealousy, perhaps?

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Summary: While on tour one day, Shawn sees a woman watching the sunrise by herself. Thinking that he’ll never see her again, he tries to forget as he goes on with the rest of his day. But, serendipity seems to have other ideas…

Notes: Yo, this is hella late. But, like I’ve been so busy preparing to go back to college and working but also going to see Charlie Puth and Hailee Steinfeld and that was an experience! But, this is hella long and I actually maybe like it? ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT AFTER THIS FOR THE SERIES. PLEASE REBLOG OR COMMENT if you like it! I always welcome messages and asks about my work! Enjoy!

Abbreviations: y/i/h = your Instagram handle

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 9 Part 11

Words: 10,375

First P.O.V.

I clear my throat and smile shyly before taking my dishes to the sink. Liyah is right. I think I really do feel that strongly about him. I've just been really scared to admit it. It's scary that I've only known him for a year and a half, but I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.

I haven't had the best luck with romance in the past. And a little part of me has been paranoid that this was all some long ruse just to get me into bed. He's not like that though. I'm sure of it. I just need to stop dragging my insecurities from my past relationship into this one.

After I finish washing my dishes, I head to Shawn's room and sit down on the bed with my laptop. I've been working on something as well as the music videos for a little while. Originally I was gonna save it for his birthday or something. But, I think I should give it to him tonight.

I'm clicking away at the keys when Liyah opens the door abruptly. My shoulders jump as I pull my headphones off and look up at her. "Knock much?" I chuckle.

"Sorry," she says hurriedly. "But, we found the channel he's gonna be on. He's on in fifteen minutes! C'mon!" She waves her hand for me to follow her. I shake my head with a grin and save the file I'm working on.

I wander into the living room where they're all in their respective seats facing the TV. Manuel and Karen are in two of the comfy chairs and Liyah is sitting dead center on the couch. Upon seeing me, she scoots to her left and pats on her right for me to sit down.

I flop down next to her causing her to sink into me and we begin laughing. It's interrupted by the sound of my phone going off. I check the ID and answer with a surprised tone. "Hey!"

"Hi, y/n! Oh, it's so good to talk to you again!" Her chipper voice causes me to smile with a slight blush.

I nod even though she can't see me. "Yeah, it is! So to what do I owe the pleasure of your call, Hailee?" Next to me, I can see Liyah's eyes widen. She mouths 'Hailee Steinfeld?!' and I nod with a silent giggle.

"Well, if I recall correctly," she laughs slightly before continuing. "Someone promised to keep me updated on what she's doing for her big documentary project to get into film school!"

I groan playfully. "I'm sorry!" She giggles on the other end. "In my defense, I haven't updated you because I've been busy with Shawn's music videos. And because I don't actually have any ideas yet..." I bite my lip nervously. Before now, I didn't realize that I was so close to needing a subject for my documentary.

"Figures he's the one hogging all of your awesomeness!" I roll my eyes as she continues. "But, I'm actually glad you don't have anything yet because..." she pauses for a beat before finally speaking again. "I was thinking that you could do your documentary on me!"

"On you?? Are you serious? I don't even know what to say to that..."

Her laugh is light on the other end of the line. "Well...you could say yes! You could start right after you graduate for the start of my tour...and you'll have a full camera crew at your disposal to film and take pictures. It's a paid gig..."

"Hailee! Oh, my gosh. Paid?" I ask and she confirms. "I couldn't possibly...I'm just an amateur..."

She sighs. "Y/n, c'mon! After seeing what you did with those music videos...I didn't want anyone else to do this. You are my first choice because you're incredible! Please say yes?" She pouts.

"Wow, Hailee...I don't know...I kind of had plans for the summer..." I admit as I think about Shawn and I's agreement. He finishes his tour and I graduate. Then, we can see where it goes. "...with Shawn..."

It's quiet for a moment and I think maybe we've been disconnected. "Y/n. I know that you probably want to give things a shot with Shawn once you're both not busy...but think about this. For starters, this is your big break into film school. I can feel it. Do you really want to put it off when Shawn won't do the same?"

"Wait, what do you mean?" I question her anxiously. My heart thumps loudly in my chest.

"You seriously haven't thought about it?" She asks. At my silence, she sighs heavily and continues with a sincere tone. "I mean...you're putting off a really great job to be available for a relationship with him. And yeah...maybe he'll be available for the first couple of weeks, but something will come up. A show, a press event...an interview..."

My eyes briefly flicker to the TV where Shawn will be in a few minutes before back at my lap. "And?" I whisper sadly.

"And he will take it. Regardless of what you were in the middle of, what plans you had...he'll take it because he doesn't know how to stop working," she explains. "And I'm not saying you can't make it work...because a lot of people do. But, how are you supposed to see if it'll work while both of you are juggling your careers?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "You're right. But...I still need to think about it. Talk to him too..."

"I understand. Take your time. But, I gotta know by mid-May if you're not doing it so I can find someone else..." I tell her that I'll let her know. "And y/n? Don't forget that you are just as talented as he is. You deserve a shot at your dream too."

I clear my throat. "Thanks, Hailee. I'll keep that in mind. Talk to you soon."

We hang up the phone and I turn to see Liyah staring at me expectedly. I furrow my eyebrows quizzically and she starts freaking out. "What was all that about?!"

"She wants me to direct and edit the documentary for her upcoming tour..." I say simply.

"What?! And you told her you had to think about it?? Oh my gosh, you have to do it! Maybe you could visit my school for career day and Hailee could drop by...ugh! It'd be so much cooler than Shawn showing up..." she rambles causing me to giggle.

The TV says something about Shawn and we turn toward it. "We'll discuss it later, Liyah," I promise her. She thanks me excitedly as we give our full attention to the interview beginning.

My heart flutters wildly as he sits down across from the interviewer. All of last night is replaying in my head. Liyah grabs the remote and turns the volume up as the cheering dies down. "Shawn, we're so glad you could make it on such short notice!"

"I'm happy to be here!" He chuckles as his cheeks turn pink.

She shuffles some papers then continues. "I'm just gonna jump right in. Earlier this week you dropped the videos for not one but two new songs...and they're doing quite well."

"Yeah...honestly I was a little bit worried at first. So, I'm glad that fans are liking them," he admits light-heartedly. All I can think about is what he meant by that. He said he trusted me completely with it so why would he be worried?

She says something about his worries being misplaced and plays a small clip from each. Fanning herself with her papers, she turns back to Shawn. "Well, those were some steamy scenes you had to shoot..." He nods as he swallows. "If I'm not mistaken...you had y/n, your best friend, direct and edit the videos?"

"Yes. She was phenomenal about it all. Came up with the concepts by herself, directed the whole thing, edited it together..." he lists off as the host finishes for him.

"It looks like she also starred in it! What was that like? Shooting those kinds of scenes with such a close friend...did she plan it that way?"

He shakes his head defensively. "No, nothing like that! She had hired an actress, but I was having some anxiety about it and convinced her I'd be more comfortable doing it with her."

"And that didn't...stir up any romantic feelings for each other?" The crowd begins to whistle and my cheeks flush pink as I wait for his answer. He just shakes his head. "Rumor has it you skipped the Grammys because she was sick..."

He shrugs. "Yeah...I got a little worried because it's the first time since we became friends that I'd heard her be that sick. It didn't feel right to go to the Grammys without her. But, we're just friends."

"Are you sure? Because she's obviously quite a talented and gorgeous woman. And you've included her in a lot of career-related things since you've met like your album release party, the festival tour, your music videos ...it just begs the question of why..."

He rolls his eyes a bit and I can tell he's tiring of the subject. "Yes, she's very talented and she's very beautiful. I trusted her with the videos because she's incredible at what she does and smart. As for the rest...I like having her company. Ever since the first night I met her, she's always fun to have around."

"I'm still not hearing why you two aren't a thing. You say she's smart and attractive and fun to have around. You say you were more comfortable doing the videos with her than a paid actress...it raises some suspicions, Shawn."

He sighs, barely glancing at the camera before back at the hostess. "I was comfortable doing the videos with her because of the fact that I'm not attracted to her in that way. She's a great friend to me but...not the kind of woman I want to be in a relationship with."

My features fall flat and I swallow the lump in my throat. Did he really just say that? I can feel all of his family's eyes on me. But, mine are glued to the screen as I wait for what else he says.

"And what makes you say that?" The interviewer asks as she nods contemplatively.

He shifts in his seat and pulls the features of his face into a lighthearted look. "Look, she's sweet. She really is. But, she's not exactly a relationship kind of girl. She's serious about school, and her job. But, when it comes to relationships? She's not serious about them..."

A heaviness fills my lungs and my ears feel muffled. Liyah lays a tentative hand on my shoulder while the interviewer continues. "How so?"

"She just got a lot of...baggage. Family history, past relationships, insecurities...stuff like that. I think that's part of why she isn't up for serious relationships. She's the perfect girl to have around when you want to have fun and have a good time...but she's not a long-term girl."

My mouth falls open as I choke on my breath. I feel the tears start to spill onto my cheeks and I don't know how to make them stop. Liyah is trying to comfort me as I stand up slowly and Karen tries to say something as I walk past her. But, I can't hear any of it. All I hear is a sharp ringing as if someone hit me over the head.

I enter Shawn's room and lock the door. A small whine escapes my lips and I try to choke it down. I walk around and gather my things quickly, almost as if I'm on autopilot. Looking at my laptop sitting on the bed, my features contort as I'm overcome with pain. I eject the CD that I was working on and put it in a case.

Staring at the words I had written on the cover, my grip tightens. I take a deep breath as my hand shakes in anger. How could I be so stupid? I swing my arm and the case hits a wall before hitting the floor somewhere. I gather the rest of my things after getting dressed and head to the front door.

"Y/n, sweetie. Just wait a second," Karen says in a maternal voice. "Why don't you just wait until he gets back to talk about it, yeah?"

I shake my head as I wipe tears with the sleeves of my hoodie. No, Shawn's hoodie. I had forgotten that I was wearing it. It smells like him and I hate it. But, he could be home any minute and I don't want to be here when he gets back.

"I'm pretty sure I've heard what he really thinks...so I'm just gonna go home," I warble. "Liyah, just let me know when career day is and I'll see what I can do." With a sad look at everyone, I exit the building and get in my waiting Uber to the airport.

The drive there was pretty agonizing. I couldn't keep it together for more than five seconds before falling apart. I could tell that the driver was very concerned about it. Thankfully, they kept to themselves though.

The flight was long (or at least it felt like it) and definitely weird as people kept looking at my disheveled state. As soon as I got off the plane, I turned my phone back on and all the texts from Shawn came through. I could barely keep it together while reading them.

Shawn: Hey, where'd you go?

Shawn: My parents said you went home...are you okay?

I roll my eyes at the message. My blood boiling replaces the feeling of sadness. Is he seriously gonna continue to play this game? He already got what he wanted. There's no need to pretend anymore.

Shawn: C'mon, y/n. We didn't even get to Half-Blood Prince yet...

I finally lose my resolve and tap away at my phones keys as I stand near the where I just got off. Pressing send, I head to baggage claim. I block his number to stop getting his incessant calls and texts. And I block him from all of my social media. Even my Euterpe Instagram. I'm done with this.

Me: I saw the interview, Shawn. I wish I could say that I was surprised. And I really was at first. But, deep down I knew that this was all some big put on to sleep with me. So congratulations. You got the hard to get girl. Check it off your stupid pop star fuck it list. But, stop pretending like it was all real. And this whole message is probably for nothing because you don't actually care but...you really had me going. Thinking I found someone who actually wanted me for more than that...thinking you loved me. Guess I'll just add this to all the 'baggage from past relationships.' Goodbye, Shawn.

It was definitely hard to say all that and to get rid of any contact for good. But, I'm not gonna wallow in it.

As I'm waiting for my bag to come up on the belt, a few girls come up to me, phones hugged tightly to their chest.

"Um...hi, can I help you?" I ask politely, my voice a little stuffy from crying still.

They whisper to each other urgently and excitedly before they turn back to me. The one in the middle speaks. "You're y/n, right?" I nod cautiously. They all squeal slightly before calming back down. "We love the music videos you were in!!! It's so exciting to see a realistic girl portrayed like that!"

"Thanks...it was Shawn's idea to not cover up everything with makeup..." I say quietly. Confusion settles in my mind. How could he have been so sweet and be so fake? He really went for the long-con.

They all gush excitedly. "Anyway...we were wondering if we could get some pictures with you?" My mouth parts slightly in surprise. I nod and one by one they get their pictures before leaving. I'm sure I look like I mess with my puffy eyes and red nose, but they didn't seem to care.

I grab my bags and head toward the exit. A few people wave at me as I pass by. I really did not think through what it would mean to be in two internationally viewed music videos. I think I probably just said goodbye to a lot of my privacy and alone time.

As I get outside, I see Anna waiting for me with my car. I hug her tightly before she helps me put my stuff in the trunk. Then, I hop into the driver's seat and head back to the hotel. She stays with me as I unpack and doesn't say much about me being home early. I find her silence suspicious.

"Okay...out with it," I say with a sigh as I sit down on my bed.

She swivels in my desk chair to look at me innocently. "Out with what?"

"You know what. I know you never liked Shawn and you're dying to say 'I told you so'...so say it," I purse my lips, waiting for her inevitable rant.

But, it doesn't come. "I don't want to say that. What kind of best friend would I be if I rubbed salt in the wound?" She asks sincerely. I smile sadly and stand up to give her a hug. She meets me halfway.

"I think I could use some popcorn and a Marvel marathon," I laugh as I pull back, my cheeks slightly wet from crying again.

Her eyes light up. "Yesss! But first..." she says as she pulls out her phone, "a selfie to commemorate you being home!" I hug into her, our cheeks pressed together and grinning as she snaps the photo.

"Okay, here! I'll edit it and post it to Insta while you make the popcorn," I offer as I take her phone. She smirks at me as she goes to make it and I open up her camera roll. I finish editing it and post it easily with a small caption about being glad to be home.

Anna is taking longer than I thought to make the popcorn so I scroll through her photos while I wait. I smile to myself as I see all of our selfies and videos at the karaoke club over the years. My thumb stops scrolling as something catches my eye. I hover over the video for a second before tapping on it. I turn the phone horizontally to watch it.

The video is dark but there are neon signs lighting up the scene. I turn the volume up and can hear the commotion as clear as the night it happened. The angle looks really familiar. Curiously I exit out of the video and look at the immediate pictures that follow it. Betrayal courses through me as she returns with the bowl and a couple of sodas.

"Hey, I figured you'd want something to drink with the popcorn. Because I know that you like it way too salty..." she trails off as she looks at me on the edge of my bed. "Everything okay?"

I look at her slowly before playing the video with the volume all the way up. I toss it on the bed as I pace the room. Her eyes widen in recognition as she sets the snacks down to go turn it off. "I can explain that! I saved that video from the news in case that guy tried to sue or something. As evidence that he started it..."

"Anna," I cut her off, "the video on your phone starts before what was on the news. Plus now that I look at it closely, it's clearly the vantage point you had from the stage."

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. "I just..." she sighs. "I knew that you'd end up getting hurt..."

"So, you thought you'd send that video and the pictures of me and Shawn at the diner to the tabloids to scare me away from being with him?" I finish her thought as I cross my arms in a hostile stance.

She steps closer to me. "No! I sent those to scare him! To show him that his image could get messed up, and show you that he'd bail when it got bad for him," she explains desperately.

I chuckle and it's hollow. "Oh my god," I whisper as I shake my head in realization. "You released my name...Shawn swore he had no idea how it happened, neither of us could figure it out...you did it. That first news article didn't make either of us bail so you released my name..."

"No! I didn't...I mean I did...but I-"

"Why?" I look at her as I continue to inhale deeply.

She continues to stammer on, not being able to look me in the eye. "I-I was worried about you. He was gonna hurt you eventually and I was trying to make you get out sooner rather than later. Because he did...hurt you that is..."

"You thought you'd save me from being hurt by Shawn...by releasing my name and making me relive all the harassment and humiliation of those photos coming up? Nope, try again," I demand.

She groans frustratedly. "Fine! I was jealous that you started falling for him!! You told me that you couldn't date me because you weren't ready for a relationship-" she begins to yell.

"I never said that! I told you that I didn't see you as more than a friend! I cannot believe that you did this!" I cut her off.

She sighs before looking at me. "I know...I'm sorry. I got carried away and I just didn't want him to hurt you...honestly..."

"You didn't want him to hurt me so you did it first. And then he did it anyway. So now I'm double hurt. That's wonderful logic on your part," I say icily. She tries to apologize more. "No. Get out."

"But, y/n..."

"I will never forgive you for this. Get out...now," I say slowly. Her mouth parts as if she's struck by my words but she leaves without another argument. I sink onto the floor in front of my bed. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cry. I cry until I can't keep my eyes open and I fall asleep because I'm too exhausted to move to the bed.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn arrives home in good spirits after the interview and after schmoozing for a few more hours. He had no idea what awaited him when he walked through the door. Silence. Shawn had expected to come home to the sound of his family and y/n having conversations and moving about. Laughter. Music probably. But, instead, he was greeted by silence.

As he entered he saw no one in the living room or the kitchen so he began to make his way to the hallway. But as he passes by the other side of the couch, he saw that Aaliyah was lying on the couch with her headphones in. He nudges her foot with his hand and she looks at him.

If looks could kill, Shawn would have disintegrated where he stood. The death glare from her was not only scary but unwarranted. Or so he thought. "Where's everybody at?" He asks with a confused smile. But, she just rolls her eyes as she puts her headphones back in and turns her back to him.

He scrunches his features quizzically but shakes it off as he heads down the hallway. Knocking on the guest bedroom door, he waits a beat and then enters. His parents are just sitting around reading, either something on their phone or a book.

They look up as he enters and he immediately feels shame from the looks they give. "Okay...why does everyone keep looking at me weird?" He chuckles nervously.

Manuel looks at Karen because she has more of an opinion on the matter. Now, he likes y/n. She's a sweet girl and she didn't deserve for Shawn to talk about her like that on television. Or anywhere regardless of circumstances. But, he's an adult. Unlike Karen, he'd rather he figure out what he's done wrong on his own.

Karen sets her phone down on the nightstand and interlaces her fingers in her lap. "Sweetie, I love you...but how could you be so cruel? Especially to a girl as wonderful as y/n? " His perfect lips part in surprise but she continues. "She went home..."

His eyes widen and he bolts to his bedroom. As he looks around, he finds all of her stuff gone. He sends her text after text and she doesn't answer. He rushes back to his parents. "Why did she leave?"

"We saw the interview, honey," she says in quiet disappointment. "All of us." She stresses the word. As he stands there with his mind racing, it feels like an eternity passes. His blood runs cold when his phone vibrates in his hand.

He reaches out a hand to steady himself on the doorframe as the message displayed before him sinks his heart into his stomach. Oh, he really fucked up this time. He types a small response but it gets declined. He tries another. And another. "She blocked me..."

"Can you blame her?" Manuel finally says.

Shawn looks at his parents with fear in his eyes as tears pool in them. "No. No, no, no..." he mumbles to himself as he tries every other form of communication that he can think of. But, she's blocked him on everything possible. Even the Euterpe Instagram.

He needs to see her in person. He can fix this. He begins to leave when his phone rings with a few texts from Andrew. They say that the interview was so good that he's got a lot more lined up for the rest of the week that he's not on tour. Shawn tries to tell him that he has to go see y/n. But, it doesn't take much for Andrew to convince him to wait until after these interviews.

Shawn slumps down on the couch next to Aaliyah's feet. She immediately gets up and begins to walk toward the guest bedroom. "Liyah! C'mon, why are you ignoring me?"

"Only y/n gets to call me that," she says flatly as she crosses her arms.

Shawn's features contort in disbelief. "I'm your brother! Shouldn't I get the chance to explain myself?" He asks, his voice elevating in pitch with his distress.

"Not when you were an absolute jerk to one of the coolest people in the entire world. How could you be so stupid? I thought you loved her...why would you destroy her like that?" She scolds him.

He stays silent in shame. He did love her. He does. But, she wasn't ready to go public yet and the interviewer was not going to let it go. Y/n wasn't supposed to be watching, but that's no excuse for what he said. He just got carried away. Aaliyah takes his silence as confirmation.

"She loved you too, ya know," she says quietly.

Shawn's head whips up toward her. "How do you know?"

"Because of her reaction to you saying those things about her. And after you told me about her ex...it looks like you just used her and-" Shawn cuts her off.

"Do not compare me to the guy that did those awful things to her!" His skin crawls at the thought of being put in the same category as that guy.

She sighs. "I'm just telling you what it looks like from her perspective. You got close to her, slept with her-" he begins to protest but she looks at him pointedly. "Don't deny it, we all saw you two this morning...and then you basically told the whole world that she's only good enough to be your friend with benefits...and the pictures of her are just making rumors worse-"

"What pictures?" He questions. Aaliyah looks down and Shawn presses her. "What rumors, Aaliyah??"

She sighs and looks at the ceiling before sitting down next to him and pulling up her Twitter. Silently, she scrolls through y/n's page until the pictures come up. Y/n is at home in the airport with a few fans. They smile brightly and she tries to match them, but the happiness isn't there. She's all red-nosed and puffy-eyed. Shawn's heart crumbles when he sees his pink hoodie surrounding her.

Then, Aaliyah scrolls down in the comments so Shawn can read them. A lot of them are saying awful things. Half about y/n. Half about Shawn.

"OMG she's wearing the pink hoodie. They totally hooked up in Toronto!"

"Look at her face! You can totally tell she's upset after leaving his place..."

"LMAO did she not get the memo that #FWB shouldn't catch feels?"

"Can't believe Shawn would say those mean things about someone who's supposedly his best friend..."

"Totally unstanning! #whatajerk"

"NOT my idol anymore because of how he just treated y/n!"

Shawn turns his head, unable to read the comments as they progressively get worse. Aaliyah turns off the phone and stuffs her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.

"What do I do?" He croaks, barely audible as if his voice will break.

She shrugs as she looks at her brother. His elbows rest on his knees with his head down in his hands. "I don't think you can do anything..." she says quietly. "You really effed up good this time."

"You don't think I know that?" He mumbles into his hands. He sounds so small and broken. Aaliyah's never seen him like this. He's her big brother...he always seems strong and together.

But when she puts her hand comfortingly on his shoulder, he lifts his head up to look at her. And he isn't strong and together. His cheeks are glistening from silent tears that he tried so hard to keep in. His eyes have a hopelessness in them that is uncharacteristic of him. He feels deep down that this time she's not taking him back. No matter what he does.

"Oh...Shawn..." she whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck in comfort. Immediately he hugs her tight as his shoulders shake. She can feel the tears fall onto her shoulder but she holds him just as tight.

The following days pass slowly and Shawn can't focus during any of the interviews that Andrew set up. His answers are short and disinterested and when they bring up y/n or anything related...he changes the subject. He's not gonna make the mistake of saying too much again. Not that she'd be watching anyway. He just doesn't have the energy to try and cover up his emotional exhaustion.

When he goes back to tour, it's not any better. Sure, it wasn't as bad as when she left after he slept with Camila. He was playing the keys, and he was hitting the notes. But it was so much worse on the scale of his despair. The first time they weren't dating. He felt guilty and his shame is what made him mess up all the songs.

Now...now he feels guilt and shame and loss magnified ten times over. They had dated for half a year, but he had been in love with her for longer than that. It makes him sick to his stomach that he made her feel used in that way. So the majority of the songs at his concert were all his sad ones.

Fans could feel the realness in his voice with every word. They could hear the smallest quiver on the words that hit him hardest and the way they threatened to break with the weight of his grief. Even as he would look out into the crowd of faces that he couldn't make out, they could all see the tears glossing his eyes.

Of course, more rumors floated around that perhaps they were actually more involved than he let on. Everyone noticed how miserable they both were, but neither said a word about it.

Shawn was glad when the tour finally ended and he could mope alone in his place. It was a few weeks after the tour had ended and he was shuffling around in his kitchen, eating ice cream straight out of the carton.

He sits down at the bar and hangs his head. Then, his eyes wander around his kitchen aimlessly until they come to land on the calendar hanging on his fridge. He squints when he sees the bright green circle surrounding one of the weekdays.

Immediately he gets up and walks over to it to make out the tiny lettering. Small hearts are sprinkled all around the circle and his heart stops when finally reads it. His fingers brush over the pen strokes that were clearly made by her.

Graduation!

The Day WE Really Begin!!

Shawn's eyes widen as he double checks the date. It’s tomorrow. He can't believe he actually almost forgot about her graduation. Pulling out his phone, he heads to his bedroom and makes arrangements for his flight immediately. He hastily packs a bag and finds a nearby Uber.

It doesn't take long to get to the airport and he rushes to the terminal. Everything in him is just hoping to whatever higher power that he makes it there on time. He has to be there to show her that he does love her. Otherwise, it might be the point of no return.

First P.O.V.

Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Alone.

These are just a few of the words that I would use to describe the last month after Shawn and I split. Sad that I finally had something good and it ended without a lot of closure. Frustrated because I hate that I miss him and I miss him every time I'm reminded of him. Which is all the time. Everywhere I turn there he is: on the radio, doing an interview, popping up on my social media feeds from other people. It never ends.

Angry that I let myself be played like that and also that he still manages to take over every part of my life. I feel pathetic that one song on the radio could send me into such a state that I have to pull over my car to cry. All the fans and reporters ask about him. I've yet to give a straight answer to any of them, usually just changing the subject.

Lastly, I feel alone because I am now. Before all this, I had Shawn and Anna and Xander. I do still have Xander and all the people from work, school, the club and the diner. But, it's not the same. They were the closest people I had to family and they betrayed me. Xander is being distant because he feels like it's all his fault for pushing us so hard to get together in the first place. And so I feel alone.

All that's gonna change after graduation though. I'm lying in bed, and I can hardly sleep with all the anticipation of what's to come. I've got everything I need packed, and my outfit for the ceremony is ready to go. I guess at some point in all my going over checklists in my head, I fell asleep.

I wake up and I don't feel tired. But I don't feel particularly rested either. Every fiber inside of me is jittering with anxiety. Nonetheless, I push on and get ready to graduate. I curl my hair into soft waves that flow down my back, and I do a nude Smokey eyeshadow with a shimmery peach lipstick.

Once that's done, I put in sapphire stud earrings to match my dress. The top is a black v-neck the goes to my waist. From there it slightly flares out like a tea length dress but it goes to my mid-thigh. The main color is sapphire but there's a velvet paisley pattern covering it. I'm wearing black high heels to match.

I check over myself in my mirror one last time. My eyes fall on my necklace, the one Shawn gave me for my birthday. I haven't taken it off since I got it except to take showers. Despite everything, I can't bring myself to be without it. With a final encouraging nod to myself, I head out for the college.

The commencement is taking place on the football field where everyone has worked really hard to decorate nicely. I wait in line with everyone else, and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who is nervous. We all quiet our excited chattering when we hear the announcement to begin the procession.

I flex my hands at my side in an effort to shake off my unneeded nerves. I've been waiting for this day ever since I stepped foot on campus. As I finally step foot onto the carpet they've rolled over the grass, my eyes can't help but wander to the stands. It's late afternoon, so the sun isn't in my eyes. I don't even know who I'm looking for.

There are so many students, which means there are a whole lot of families in the stands. I wouldn't even be able to see anyone if I tried. But, then I did. An uncontrollable smile grows on my face as I see Xander in the crowd with a sign that's cheering me on. Even though all I'm doing is walking. I can see Anna next to him and I try not to frown or let it ruin my day.

I have to turn back around to find where I'm sitting before I can find any other familiar faces. The commencement is long and for most of it, I'm just twiddling my thumbs in my lap. Finally, the walking across the stage part begins. My row stands up when it's our turn and we slowly make our way to the side of the stage.

As I'm waiting, my phone buzzes in the pocket of my dress. I maneuver my hand inside my robe to discreetly pull it out. I'm at the end of the line, so I have a little bit of time to kill. My eyes skim over the messages.

Hailee: You look absolutely gorgeous! Can't wait to see you walk across! Xoxo

My head whips up toward the stand with my brows furrowed in confusion. I can't make out anyone specific so I just text her back.

Me: Wait...are you at my graduation right now? 😱

The three little dots appear on the screen.

Hailee: Maybe...lol I couldn't resist! I'll find you afterward!❤️

I roll my eyes with a playful smile on my lips. Hailee actually came to my graduation even though she's busy preparing for her world tour. I move forward in line as I look at another message.

Nick: Should you be texting and walking in the middle of your graduation? You could definitely trip in those shoes...

Me: OMG you're here too?!?

Almost instantly, he replies.

Nick: Like I would miss it! Although no one told me the dress code...I feel like I'm both overdressed and underdressed at the same time 😅

Nick: I think I just saw a guy wearing cargo shorts with a neon shirt...

Me: Lol...it's the west coast! People dress for the weather, not the occasion. Shouldn't you know that? 😂

Nick: Don't judge me...it's rainy in Washington...we wore pants and jackets a lot. Anyway, looks like you're up next! See you after!

I put my phone back in my pocket just as my name is about to be called. With a deep breath and a nervous smile, I walk up the steps and start across the stage. I come to the middle and stop to take my diploma with one hand while shaking the dean's hand with my other. We pause for a picture and I turn out to the crowd to hold up my diploma with a beaming grin.

I can hear my small group of friends cheering loudly while everyone claps. My heart is filled with pride at my own accomplishment until it sinks. The sudden heaviness of my heart makes my smile falter and so I move my tassel to the other side of my cap while I continue off the stage. I make my way back down to my seat where we all remain standing. I know whom I've been looking for.

I've been looking for Shawn. I don't know why I would be looking for him because I'm still hurt and humiliated by what he said. But, I don't know. Some part of me was hoping he'd show up and say he's sorry and then I'd know that I actually meant something to him. It was a foolish hope. I never meant anything to him but being a challenge.

All my doubts about leaving have dissipated. I shake out of my disappointment and become excited about the future as the commencement comes to a close. The final remarks are said and we all burst into cheers as we launch our caps into the air. My heart swells and I can't believe I actually did it.

The field turns into a flurry of activity as families come down to get pictures. Instead of getting caught in the mess, I make my way around the edge of the field to the parking lot. I lean against my car as I wait for Xander to come find me. It’s not long before he’s rushing over to me, nearly knocking me over as he pulls me into a bear hug.

“Ahhhhh!! You’re finally a college graduate! How does it feel??” He giggles excitedly.

I hug him back tightly. “It feels pretty good.” I grin as we part. After a brief pause, I continue, “I saw Anna with you. Did she leave?”

“Yeah...she wanted to see you walk but she knows you don’t want to see her,” he admits.

I nod my head slowly. At least she’s respecting my boundaries. Can’t say she’s had much respect for anything else. My name is called by a happy voice and I perk up as she approaches. “Hailee! Ugh, I can’t believe you came!” I squeal as she pulls me into a warm hug.

“Of course, I came! My girl just graduated!” She giggles and her smile is radiant. I can’t help but notice that she is the literal embodiment of perfection and effortless beauty.

I return the grin, a small blush tinting my cheeks. My attention is caught by yet another person calling my name. I turn around and see Nick strolling over with his hands in his pockets. He wasn’t kidding when he said he might be overdressed.

“Ohhh, my god,” I chuckle as I bring my interlocked fingers up to my nose. “It’s eighty degrees out! Why are you wearing a blazer??”

He pulls on the lapels with finesse. “What? You don’t think I look dashing?” He teases as he finally stops in front of me.

“You look dashing in anything,” I smirk as I brush nothing in particular off of his shoulders before resting my hands there. “But, it’s a little extra for the weather. Hand it over,” I demand playfully.

He rolls his eyes but complies. “Better?” He asks with an exasperated tone. But, the smile tugging at the corner of his lips says he’s anything but tired of my antics.

“Much!” I beam up at him even though I’m wearing tall heels. “C’mere, you,” I request as I hold my arms open.

He cracks a smile and it’s a smile that fills me up with butterflies and warmth. As he pulls me into him by my waist he buries his nose into my hair. “It’s been too long. I actually kind of missed you,” he mumbles below where anyone else can hear.

“Gee, thanks,” I scoff before we break apart. After a small lingering glance, I clap my hands together. “So...Xander are we gonna go to the party you planned or...?”

He throws his hands up in defeat. “I swear. Why I bother trying to surprise you with anything is beyond me!” We all burst into laughter at his statement. He sighs, “Well, let’s get going!”

Hailee and Nick ride with me back to the hotel, while Xander drives his own car. Once there, we head the smallest of our three ballrooms. As we walk in we see decorations and people already milling about. Immediately, I shed my gown into a seat and head to the dance floor.

We all dance through the night, having way too much fun. Xander got a cake for me which turned out to taste fantastic. Somehow, Nick and I managed to start an icing war. As of right now, I’m the winner because I have no icing on me yet. I think I’ve lost him in the crowd when I stop to talk to Hailee.

“So...got everything packed and ready to go for tomorrow?” She inquires as she licks some icing off of her fork.

I try to catch my breath as I respond. “Yes, ma’am. I’m ready to catch a flight with you in the morning to the start of your tour. And from there...the world!” I say dramatically which causes her to giggle.

“I’m really glad you decided to do the documentary. I know we’re gonna have so much fun!” She gushes happily.

I open my mouth to respond, but the words are cut off by icing being wiped over my mouth messily. “Eek!” I squeal in surprises before swallowing the buttercream frosting that got on my tongue. Nick pops his head over my shoulder to see the damage.

“Yes! We’re tied now,” he announces proudly.

I smirk despite my frustration at getting caught. “Is that so?” He nods confidently as he fully comes to stand beside Hailee and I. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that...”

“Bring it on...” he challenges as he bobs his head side to side in a sassy manner.

I cross my arms. “When you least expect it, Robinson. When you least expect it,” I whisper playfully.

“So, what are your big plans for being a college graduate?” He asks interestedly.

I grab a napkin and begin dabbing at the icing on my lips in between speaking. “I’m directing and editing Hailee’s world tour documentary,” I say simply.

“Aw, bummer...I was hoping to spend time with you now that you have a little free time,” he admits shyly.

I tilt my head to the side as I stick out my bottom lip in a cute pouty manner. “Me too. Whatever will I do without you telling me obscure eighth-grader myths?” He puts a hand over his heart as if he’s been shot and I giggle.

“You could come with us if you want to,” Hailee suggests. At my surprised look she continues, “I mean that is it you're not too busy to travel the world with the single-most incredible woman on the planet.”

He nods his head approvingly. “Alright, I’m game,” he agrees. My eyes widen.

“Y-you are?” I ask timidly.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I mean why not? It’ll be fun, right?”

“Oh! Totally,” I agree nervously. “I should go to the bathroom to get the rest of this off,” I say as I gesture to the icing on my cheek. After excusing myself, I head out the main doors and down the hallway to a bathroom.

Before I get very far, there’s a hand on my shoulder turning me around. “Is everything okay? You looked kind of sick...” Nick asks with concerned etched in every syllable.

“Yeah! I’m great, I just don’t want the frosting to stain my skin,” I lie.

Apparently, he can sense it. “Look, if this is about Hailee inviting me on the tour...I don’t have to-“

“It’s not that,” I interrupt him as I look anywhere but his gorgeous eyes.

He steps closer, towering over me since I took off my heels to dance. “Then, what is it?” He places a gentle hand on my arm, his warm fingers barely sinking into my icy skin.

I sigh shakily. “I know we flirt a lot, and I like spending time with you. But I don’t want to lead you on or anything, so I’m gonna be honest...” I say hesitantly. When I glance at him and he says nothing, I continue. “Shawn and I...we were together...for several months and it was really serious...”

“But...” he connects some dots and urges me on.

One corner of my mouth pulls up into a sad half-smile. “But, we broke up...pretty recently. And it’s all still fresh in my mind so I don’t think I should be starting anything else serious for a little while,” I admit as my heart beats rapidly.

“Okay,” he says simply. I look up at him and see the small smile on his lips and the understanding in his inviting eyes.

I shake my head. “Actually...doing anything with you would be wrong because I’d just be using you as a distraction...” I say softly.

“Then...” he begins slowly as his hand traces down my arm to grasp mine. “...use me. If it helps you heal, then use me, y/n. I don’t mind...”

My eyes flick from his eyes to his plush lips. I stretch my neck and stand on my toes as my lips gravitate toward his. He cranes his neck down as his hands grip my waist firmly. The distance is swiftly closed as my fingers comb softly tangle in his hair to pull him closer. His lips are soft, yet firm and our breath is mixing in the air around us.

All I can feel right now is warm. After weeks of feeling an icy chill in the pit of my stomach, my heart is filled with a tiny ray of sunshine and the electricity is keeping me alive.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn’s been sitting in the airport for almost eight hours and the fricking sun has already risen outside. He arrived at the airport last night to find out that his plane had been delayed because of a huge storm happening in the middle of the route his plane needed to take.

His leg shakes incessantly as he waits for the overhead PA to announce some change in news. He could miss her graduation if it doesn’t leave soon. Shawn keeps running his hand through his hair anxiously. A few fans come up for pictures and he puts on a good smile for them.

But on the inside, he’s wrecked. Something deep in the pit of his stomach is telling him that he needs to be there. Like, this instant. He’s never had a feeling like that before, but he knows it’s about y/n. With nothing better to do, he checks his Instagram.

As he’s scrolling through the feed, he sees a picture he wasn’t expecting. It’s from y/n’s page. The picture is an artfully taken one. She’s standing in front of a hanging mirror and her cap and gown are hanging next to it. She holds her phone in front of her face to take the picture. The caption reads:

Graduation day is finally here! Another chapter in my life has been written, and tomorrow marks the day that I start a new adventurous one!

The hell is that supposed to mean? “A new adventurous one.” Shawn doesn’t know for sure but it unsettles him. And when did she even unblock him? He immediately gets up and goes over to an attendant.

“Excuse me? Do you know when my flight is gonna leave? It’s been delayed all night...” he explains as he hands her his ticket.

She reads over it and looks up at him. “I’m sorry sir, this flight has been canceled. All passengers are supposed to report to the ticket desk for a new flight,” she informs him professionally.

“Are you serious? How long ago was that announcement made??” He’s been listening to the PA nonstop for news like this. He wouldn’t have missed it.

She thinks for a minute. “I believe it was announced a little over three hours ago...” she says hesitantly.

Shawn groans frustratedly as he picks up his bag and rushes over to the ticket desk. He did miss the fucking announcement because he was too busy chatting with fans. Once again, his nonstop career is messing with his relationship. He arrives at the desk and waits in line for about another hour.

When it’s finally his turn, he steps up and lays his ticket on the desk heavily. “I’m still trying to go to this same place and I need to get there by like...four o’clock Pacific time,” he explains as he catches his breath.

“I’m sorry, sir. But you’ll have to take a flight that has a layover in a different city and then take a flight from there. It will not get you there by that time, unfortunately,” he says.

He breathes in before releasing it angrily. “Fine, whatever. Just get me on the next plane that does whatever you just said, please,” he demands as nicely as possible. The man gets to work typing and Shawn has to pay a pretty penny for a flight that leaves in fifteen minutes.

It’s a nonstop rush as he goes through security and boards the plane. Then, he’s forced to anxiously wait as everyone else boards and the plane takes off. After a few hours, he lands in the layover city and goes through the same process to get on the second plane. Outside his window, he can see the sky has gotten dark.

It’s another few hours before he touches down in y/n’s city and it takes him another one to catch a cab from the airport to her graduation. As he arrives, his heart sinks into his stomach at the empty parking lot. The commencement has long since been over and so he tells the driver to go to the Sunset Hotel.

They made a stop along the way so he could get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers. The cab arrives just as another cab is leaving and Shawn tips generously before heading inside. It’s the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning depending on whoever is looking at it. He’s sure he looks disheveled and like a mess, after all the hoop-jumping he had to do to even get there, but it’ll be worth it.

He enters the lobby and nervously steps up to the concierge desk where Xander is examining a book on his desk. Shawn clears his throat and he looks up. His eyebrows shoot up in quiet surprise as his eyes flick to the entrance.

“What are you doing here?” He asks guardedly.

Shawn sighs chest heavy with guilt and sadness. “I tried to make it for her graduation...my flight got delayed and then canceled and I had to get a new one...it was a whole big thing and I just want to see her for a minute,” he begs softly.

“No,” Xander says sternly but not meanly.

Shawn’s brows quirk in surprise and confusion. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean I’ve done nothing but help you two get together and you broke her heart...I’m not helping you anymore. I won’t be the reason she gets hurt again,” he explains defensively.

Shawn scoffs as he looks at the ceiling. “You know, eventually everyone is gonna have to stop putting all the blame on me! Did she not tell you that she’s the one that didn’t want to tell people? What other choice did-“

“She didn’t care anymore,” Xander cuts him off gently. Despite being mad, he’s more upset by the fact that these two seem to be stars barely passing each other in the night.

His breath catches in his throat and he swallows. “W-what?”

“She didn’t care about people finding out at that point...because she was sure that she loved you and it was real,” he explains. “Until it wasn’t.” He shrugs.

Shawn lays the flowers on the desk and drops his bag. “She...loved me?” He nods. “But, I did too! I do! Love her, that is...I just never got a chance to tell her...”

“And now you won’t get another one,” Xander sighs, almost to himself.

He whirls his attention back to Xander. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His heart is pumping blood loudly in his ears and he knows that this is the feeling he had.

“She’s not here...”

“Then, where is she??” He asks his voice threatening to crack front the weight of the news.

Xander avoids looking directly at him. “She’s doing the documentary on Hailee’s tour...they just left for the airport,” he confesses.

His blood runs cold and all the color drains from his face. The cab. She was in the cab that was pulling away as he was pulling up. How could he have been so close and yet so far away from her? He could go after her...or he could let her start her new chapter without him.

“I don’t think going after her is going to change anything. She needs this. She needs to recover a lot more before you reopen wounds,” Xander advises.

Shawn nods in agreement. He hopes that recovery is all she needs. And then he can get her back. He also hopes that letting her go without trying to explain himself isn’t the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life. After saying all those things in the first place, of course.

But of course, over the next few months, it proves to be. He continues on with his life, almost getting back to normal. Save for the hole in his heart that absolutely nothing can fill no matter how hard he tries. He tried his best to ignore all the things he was seeing about her. He really was.

Although, that was hard to do when she unblocked him so she’s all over his feed when she posts. And she’s all over Hailee’s feed. It was the little things he was noticing that were eating away at him.

First, it was the haircut. Her wavy hair that once went to her mid to lower back now only went just below her collarbones. A boomerang of her running her hands through it is how he first saw it. It’s beautiful, of course. But, it’s like she’s trying to shed her past. And it’s like the new haircut brought a new personality.

Everything he was seeing was her having the time of her life. She was wearing makeup more, and she was wearing more revealing clothes. He wondered what changed that she was no longer insecure about her body or the imperfections on it. All summer he wondered why she didn’t seem broken anymore.

Then one day in an interview, he no longer had to wonder. The subject of her came up like it always does. But instead of the questions being centered on their relationship, they centered on Shawn’s opinion of the new her. He tries to steer the topic away but it’s just not working.

When he refuses to answer the questions about her doing Hailee’s documentary...they show him photos. The photos are a mixture of paparazzi ones and ones from her personal Instagram as she’s made her Euterpe one for sneak peeks of her work. Shawn can’t even speak because he feels like he can’t breathe.

He returns home and immediately lies on his bad and opens his phone. He goes to her personal IG and sure enough, the photos have been there the whole time. The answer to her complete one-eighty of a personality was right in front of him.

Tons of pictures and videos of her...and Nick. How did Shawn not know that Nick had gone on the tour with them? All of the photos are cutesy and they’re always kissing each other on the cheek. The videos are of them being flirty and playful and having the best time at Hailee’s concerts.

Shawn can almost chalk it up to them being just really good and really close friends. But the paparazzi photos are of them walking hand in hand to random places in everyday clothes. There are also pictures of them kissing each other like a couple would in fancy date outfits.

He wants to deny it. Wants to tell himself that she’s just healing and she needs a rebound to do that. But when he looks at the captions under a particular picture that’s on both her and Nick’s page, it feels like the wind is knocked out of him.

It’s a simple picture. An innocent one at that. It was posted on the Fourth of July, just a couple of weeks ago. Nick’s arms are wrapped around her waist from behind and he leans around to kiss her on the cheek but he’s grinning too much for it to actually be a kiss. She’s laughing wildly and Shawn’s has never seen her happier. Above them, an array of colorful fireworks are captured mid-burst and it creates the most beautiful picture.

@therealnickrobinson Sparks fly when I’m with you. (I know you love my puns!) Can’t wait for us to share many more fireworks💖 @y/i/h

@y/i/h “Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.” And you make my heart bloom like these fireworks...can’t wait for more💞@therealnickrobinson

Tag List: @imagine-that-100

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