#one positive thing about having shitty memory is that you can rediscover things you used to love if you want

[glitteronadumpsterfire]

It's incredible that it took me 25 years to watch akira (1988)

[sister-dear]

Okay, so you mentioned that Wild was another favorite... Headcanons please? [Watch me just keep doing this until I see every single boy get headcanons XD]

Yeah so I'm just gonna keep doing these lol. Let's see if I can get through all the boys by the end of the weekend.

Wild Headcanons!

As before, here’s the giant mis-mash of canon/LU canon/fanon/headcanon that I use for writing Wild.

Genderfluid. Defaulted to ‘he’ after waking up because it’s what everyone around him assumed, got slapped in the face in Gerudo Town with how good it felt to be called ‘she.’ Zelda knows to use ‘she’ when Wild is dressed a certain way, but it’s Hyrule who brings up the idea of being gender neutral and Warriors who introduces them both to the term ‘genderfluid’ and to using ‘they’ as a pronoun. Basically, Wild is slowly collecting pronouns like candy and it’s very exciting. They can’t wait to share the new things they’ve discovered on the topic and how they think it applies to them with Zelda; she’ll be just as happy about it as they are. Still mostly defaults to ‘he’ out of a combination of habit and continuing to figure out good signals for when their pronouns change, but that is shifting as time goes on.

Functionally aro/ace, at least for now. He’s focusing on rediscovering who he is and establishing familial and platonic relationships. Will probably hit one hell of an experimental phase before too much longer.

Wild’s journey/story arc is largely one of experimentation and self discovery. Curiosity is the driving force behind most of the decisions he makes. (Along with just having fun. Wild loves to have fun.)

Adventure buddies with Hyrule. They pretty much bonded instantly over their shared love of exploration and nature.

Has lots of similarities with Wind even though they don’t see eye to eye on certain topics. (Kings of Hyrule, anyone?) When Wild is feeling their silliest or just needs to have some fun to let off steam, Wind is the one they turn to.

Slightly intimidated by Warriors and Sky. Warriors seems a model knight, something Wild feels he failed to be and maybe even slightly resents. Sky also talks about being in the Knight Academy, and of course there was the whole thing with the Master Sword. Wild very much does not want Sky to get mad at him again. Nobody likes it when Sky is mad at them.

Obviously has strong familial feelings towards Twilight, and by extension Time

Has sass, generally more positive than Legend but not afraid to throw hands

Occasionally has depressive episodes and the memory-flashbacks

Wild doesn’t actually cook all the groups’ meals. He’s not the only one who is competent around a cook pot, he’s just the most passionate about it. And also the one who keeps most of the group’s food, given the slate’s ability to keep food fresh.

Wild is in fact very frustrated and somewhat humiliated by the shitty quality of his weapons, now that he’s seen enough of the others to know that none of them have the same issues with stuff just breaking as he does. Knowledge of how to care for and maintain weapons was not one of the things that carried over from his previous life, plus he keeps doing things like hitting frigging rocks with his blades. The others are slowly teaching him better.

Adrenaline. Junkie.

Thinks of their past self as a stranger who happened to inhabit their body. Had anxiety-induced muteness pre-calamity, began talking again after they woke up. They did retain sign language. Will occasionally default to it if their throat is paining them.

Has a bit of a rasp due to vocal chord damage that the shrine didn’t quite fix all the way; his voice starts to get tired if he does a lot of talking. The scars sometimes cause him mobility issues. The masseuse in gerudo town gave him oil for them and taught him how to massage the tissue to help, but he tends to forget to do it.

Hair is constantly tangled. He takes a stab at brushing it most days but not nearly thoroughly or often enough to keep it from turning into a horrible rats nest.

Is it gonna be fun? Great it’s a good idea let’s go.

Considers basically everybody in his Hyrule to be his family. Has adopted family in pretty much every race, village, and stable. His Hyrule loves him and he loves them back. Kass and Teba are like dads. Riju is his BFF and fellow pun enthusiast. The villagers of Hateno are especially protective of both him and Zelda once she comes to live with him there. There’s Impa and Dorian in Kakariko. Sidon and Paya are both potential Significant Other material if he ever becomes interested in that stuff. He gets fussed over in all the stables, greeted with enthusiasm in Tarrey Town and with the Gorons… Most of the citizens of his Hyrule don’t have any association between him and what happened 100 years ago, they just know him as the person who made things better this time.

Falls into a sibling relationship with their Zelda post-adventure. Neither of them have any interest in restoring the system that failed both of them so badly, especially after all the time that has elapsed. Zelda is quite happy with the opportunity to just be herself, exploring and experimenting and re-establishing relationships of her own.

One of the more religious of the group. He prays and leaves offerings at every statue, in every temple. Wild’s Hyrule has very active spirits and a large variety of religions, both ancient and current. (Hylia, the little ancestor statues all over the place, the dragons, the Gerudo seven, Malanya…) Wild’s personal experience has been that paying basic respects leads to good things (finding Koroks, increases in health and stamina, someone watching out for his horses…)

Wild takes lots of pictures, not just of people but of places and plants and animals. He’s recording his travels to show Zelda when he gets home. He knows she would kill him if he didn’t.

The others: Four | Sky | Legend | Hyrule | Warriors

[scienceoftheidiot]

So you know what it’s wednesday you’re getting an infodump on Desden’s blindness.

Beware. I’m a biologist. I’m a nerd. And I’m a teacher. You know what’s coming, right ? 

I just reblogged an extremely interesting and great post about writing blind characters that I advise you to go and read now (I haven't finished yet) because it's just full of info and contrary to usual posts like that it's not guilt tripping or anything. I love this post and OP for this. However I've noticed there's a bunch of advices I don't follow myself and I felt like I could expand and why and how I think it's not a bad thing. Here's the first one : don’t make your character blind through an accident. Because drama. 

So yeah. Desden lost his sight due to some kind of accident. Which is thoroughly described by a mysterious bystander’s flashback in chap.3. So that’s not a spoiler. But how can a brick through the head make you blind ? 

Brain. Brains are evil. You know I got a PhD in biology : I am sad to admit I couldn’t go through with my love of neurology because it was competing with my love for bacteria and parasites that can kill you and happily live everywhere. Life’s though. No neuro for me, welcome to viral ecology (viruses are obligatory parasites, sue me). But not only can’t I help being a nerd... I have an uncle in my family who lost part of his vision from a brain haematoma (not due to trauma, but the result and how it works is the same). Who’s also a nerd. (And a PhD in physics cause like that’s what nerds do, right ?) And he explained in details how he lost his vision (and gained back some of it over time) to us.

If you cut blood supply to parts of the brain for long enough, this part will die. Logic. Head trauma can do that and more. So, what happened is that Desden’s visual cortex got cut from blood supply for a relatively long amount of time (he can thank the extremely cold weather of the day it happened, which makes your body turn into “low survival mode”, when the “accident” happened for 1) being still alive and 2) not losing more than most of his sight, some balance, and a bunch of memories). But the brain is a funny little thing and some times it does stuff (not going into the haematoma part, I’m not a doc, it’s long and not very relevant, but it has to be taken into account cause it’s what can make part of the lost sight reappear). So Desden was totally blind for a while, then his brain managed to get some of his sight back. Very little. 

But what and how does he see ? 

See, the brain is constructed so that the visual cortex’s position reflects the visual field you have, except in reverse. Sorry. I’m a teacher. I’m going to add a schema. But in French because I actually work with this (well. Nope. They changed the program but I have old program lessons lying around just in case) and I’m lazy today. Just look at the pretty colours. It shows you what I just explained very badly because I’m used to use schemas, but here’s what you need to understand. 

SOOOO. Basically make most of the colour disappear except for a very small part of blue at the far right of the visual cortex. Meaning that in the end, what Desden can see is an extremely reduced part of peripheral vision. Try to fix your eyes on a point in front of you and describe what is at the far corner of your left eye. Good luck. (and let me tell you I know I have extremely good peripheral vision myself, it’s still composed by what your brain KNOWS is around. From seeing it with the other parts of your field of vision. Because your brain is constantly MAKING UP what you’re seeing from a lot of information including past ones when you didn’t even think about it but your eyes brushed that part. Your senses are fucked up. Deal with it. Your brain is playing tricks on you right now.)

This is why, btw, he’s often described tilting his head on the right. He doesn’t have much control on his eye movement so he tries to get some info on people (mostly light and colours but since his visual memory is fucked up, it’s not very useful)

His eyes move. He just doesn’t really control them. In fact they’re often if not constantly moving because head trauma is often linked to the apparition of a nystagmus, which is a rapid eye movement to the side or up and down - my brother has that, vertical, did you know it existed ? well I do. A friend of my parents has a horizontal one that is a lot more visible. Constantly. She’s not blind, her brain compensates this. Brains are both evil and awesome. Deal with it.

Oh and his eyes are perfectly normal. Even quite pretty, as he describes them himself. He still wears sunglasses because his brain doesn’t like strong light which give him migraines, because it has a hard time processing visual info. 

His eyes also work perfectly (well as perfectly as they did before his accident, which is okay but a little nearsighted) which leads to the only thing that sounds like a superpower that isn’t one : blindsight. If you research it you’ll learn about people who can do absolutely crazy things like catch stuff that’s thrown at them or avoid most obstacles on a path while being totally blind, because BRAINS, AGAIN. Your brain doesn’t only process visual cues through the visual cortex; there’s a slight part in the “primitive brain” or “lizard brain” that does, too. So basically Desden’s body can see stuff but he’s not aware of it consciously. He’s NOT using it and he’s NOT as good as the people I cited above. But for example he has insights he souldn’t have on people’s moods, because his lizard brain picks their faces up. Not always, and it’s often more when someone’s in a VERY bad mood that SHOWS. And since he’s not aware of it he takes that as hints from his other senses. It’s NOT compensating for his blindness - if anything, it’s a silly trick. BUT I AM A NERD, REMEMBER ?

Anyway. Now you know. Desden still lost his vision through an accident which, as said in the reference post i’m refering to (haha) would be bad if it was used for drama but, in fact, I try to avoid most of it because apart from the accident, which is witnessed by someone else who is important to the later plot, nothing from Desden’s life before or after it is described in details. My novel starts 9 years after the accident. He’s got time to get used to being blind. 

*I* know everything that happened in his life, or most of the important things anyway, that lead to the opening of the book, but you will only get scraps of it because it’s not what’s relevant. It’s important for the construction of the character, but what I want to show here is not Desden’s journey through being used to being blind. It’s his journey through accepting his family heritage, which has nothing to do with being blind, and sharing it with the rest of his family while it stayed hidden to them until then because the person who kept this before him was an arsehole. There are a lot of plot points that are linked to Desden’s blindness, including said arsehole arseholery (I be good with words), but it’s not the point of the book. 

Y’all know I’m a Daredevil fan. That’s where I got the idea of a blind character (not only), but now erase that from your mind. Desden doesn’t have any superpower that compensate his blindness. He’s got pretty good hearing because he’s used to use it a lot more than when he was sighted. It’s not better. He loves music, but he’s absolutely tone deaf so forget the blind piano tuner/musician cliché (this is a joke in one of my AUs, in fact)(explanation : in France, which is the country I research for because I’m French and my story takes place in France, the most prominent school for the blind used to primarily teach people to become piano tuners during the 20th century). He’s got a very good nose, but that’s just how it is, and since I’m using my own experience of rediscovering my sense of smell after years of living with smoking people (don’t smoke) (yeah, even you, Desden) I know it’s not superhuman. In fact my own nose is pretty shitty compared to my mom’s. Who is a fucking hunting hound. Anwyay I digress. 

Desden often chases any comment that restrict him to being “the blind guy” by stating stuff he does or likes to do, like “I’m also a good tarot player but no one ever mentions that” or “my brownies are the best ones and I don’t even need to add pot to it”. This is how he feels about it. He’s blind. It’s okay, it’s part of him. But it’s not his sole characteristic. 

I think I’m done here. I haven’t touched on other people’s reaction to him that much, and if you’re interested you can ask questions. Basically remember he’s a 1,98m guy, with broad shoulders, and that’s the first thing you see from him. Also there’s his guide dog Kalinka. 

Lot more things to talk about, not that much time. So if you’re interested in knowing more, poke me, and I might write more about my character. 

Lastly and more importantly : if you see things that you can correct in this post, please do so. As I said, I’m a nerd, but I’m not a neurologist. I’m going the vulgarized version. And I like to be taught things. So if you see mistakes, tell me. 

Peace ! 

[blooming-gay]

We Threw it Away

A Goodbye to You

I really never saw you coming. I honestly never thought we’d be here, but here we are. 

I fell in love with you the very first moment I saw you. That snowy December night, my birthday. The night you drove 3 hours just because I was having a shitty birthday. The day that I had been ditch by so many and I fell asleep crying only to wake up to a text from you saying to call you ASAP to give you my address. You moved your life around just a little so that I wouldn’t have to be alone. A 3 hour drive in a blizzard was all it took for me to fall completely in love with you. So deeply in love with you. For so many reasons. 

Whenever you would play for me, you’d usually hum the lyrics. But man. When you’d actually sing along, I could’ve lived in those moments forever. Honestly, I could’ve lived in the moments when you’d hum, too. 

I remember the first time I came to visit you. I was making breakfast (remember those eggs that I forgot to season, but you still ate them with a smile?). You got out your guitar and started playing. I took a short video, I don’t think you noticed. I sat and listened to that video of you for hours. Just because it made me feel safe and close to you. Sometimes, you’d play me to sleep when I’d have a hard day. I loved sharing music with you. I’d never had someone that related so deeply to me with music. Sharing the one thing I love most was so special to me. I used to drive around or do homework or pretty much anything else and listen to the songs you’d written over and over again. Memorizing every chord and every lyric. I never got sick of them. 

We used to dance around the kitchen being dysfunctional cooking dinner. I also remember the times when we would drop what we were doing and slow dance for just a second. Or when we would just stop and stare at each other. Completely set in that moment. Completely present. Those small moments were more precious than anything else I’ve shared with someone before. 

You made me feel whole again. You made me feel secure and safe. You accepted every flaw and every small bit about me. I used to say that I couldn’t find anything wrong with you, but that wasn’t really true. I could find things wrong with you, but none of those flaws outweighed everything I loved about you. 

I think there’s something really special about what we had. Something magical that we only get to experience a few times in our lives. Regardless, I know that letting you go is the very best thing I can do for you. Sometimes we have to set the one we love the most free. 

We tried twice. We always said that the second time we broke up would be the last because we didn’t want to do the on again, off again thing so many do. We didn’t want whiplash time and time again. I am not holding out hope that we will be together again because, to be completely honest, we both changed after the first breakup. I think I became angry with you. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think part of it was because of your promise. “I can’t wait to marry you.” I believed you. I let you be my person. And I think I was angry because you couldn’t be that for me. When I say we changed, I mean I think we both grew. We outgrew the relationship as it was and didn’t try to adapt. 

I won’t deny that we had our issues. Some pretty big issues. But I try to focus on the positive because I know I will never have it in me to hate you (and I don’t want to hate myself for not being able to hate you). This is a fact that I know to be true because I tried to hate you. It would’ve been easier to hate you than to continue to love you so deeply.

Here it is. The end. I don’t think I got everything in here; but I would need a whole novel for everything, so we’ll just call it good here.

One last thing, thank you. Thank you for being my person. For letting me love you. For helping me rediscover what it means to love and be loved. Thank you for everything. She broke me, and you helped me finish the puzzle. You helped me remember what it was like to be loved without stipulations or requirements. You stood by my side as I finished rebuilding my confidence. 

I left my heart on your doorstep. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you. The love has evolved, but never left. I’m moving on now. I’m ready to do that. I need to do that. I will always have such a special place for you in my heart where you can never be forgotten. There are so many memories that I cherish and love. You deserve the world and so much happiness. I hope you find it. 

Goodbye, EAR. Be safe.