#one singular person knows the plan hi bestie if you see this

[whimsyprinx]

also idk if I just talk too much or tell too little or some combination of both

[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Ch. 114.5

Fyodor: The Unkillable Devil

[BSD Absurdism Masterpost]

So, I was mostly correct in my speculations from last month's chapter! I'm really proud of this, though I will admit that my theory wasn't a complete match to what ended up happening

I assumed that Fyodor took on the guard's lifeforce, but it was Bram who he body-swapped with, which makes for a much for interesting (and higher stakes) situation.

Admittedly, this post is going to be a bit less analysis and more me sharing my thoughts and questions, because not much has changed from what I said last month: Fyodor being practically unkillable is the ultimate absurdity for him as a villain -- how do you defeat a literally immortal super genius?

It's just made even worse now by the fact that it is Bram's body who he's "subsuming." It puts considerable distance between himself (now in Japan) and Dazai (in France), who is the only human being capable of killing him due to his nullification. This is deeply ironic in that Dazai was so goddamn close to killing Fyodor, if only he had delivered the final blow himself, he would have succeeded. That's dramatic irony for ya!

The ultimate absurdity lies within the fact that Dazai was so close to victory the entire time; Fyodor was in genuine danger throughout the whole prison break thing (because either poison or Dazai could have actually killed him), but one lapse in judgement has now left Dazai relatively powerless.

There is also absurdity in the fact that Fukuawa, Fukuchi, Aya, and Teruko are basically incapable of stopping Fyodor not only from subsuming Bram's body, but from carrying out his plan with the tripolar singularity. They don't even have enough time to enact a last-ditch effort to stop him before he stabs Fukuchi.

Jumping back to the reveal of Fyodor's ability, this chapter has left me with some questions about Fyodor's plan:

Why allow Sigma to learn of this? I see no really good reason for why Fyodor didn't kill Sigma when given the chance. The only thing I can think of is that he wanted to distract Dazai, ultimately knowing that he would eventually go back for Sigma and try to figure out why he was passed out, killing some time. Still, this doesn't really make much sense to me, as killing Sigma would have done practically the same thing. Also, at that point, there's really no reason to distract Dazai, the deed has already been done. My only other idea is that he figured that once he was able to subsume Bram, it wouldn't matter if Dazai knew about his ability, so he allowed Sigma to obtain this information in order to let Dazai know of his loss. Still, this doesn't make any strategic sense in the way that keeping Dazai in the dark for as long as possible appears to be the optimal course of action.

Does Nikolai know about Fyodor's ability? If so, it would explain the usage of the poison in the prison break challenge, given that his ultimate goal is to kill Fyodor. It might also explain why he considers them to be "besties," because he's one of very few people who know the true nature of Fyodor's ability. This is complete speculation, though, as it could really go either way.

Did Fyodor know Chuuya was faking it the whole time? Because if not, I think Chuuya was his fallback plan. If he truly believed Chuuya to be a vampire controlled by Bram, then at any point he could have ordered him to kill him, but I think the only thing that stopped him from doing so was his desperation to have Dazai killed as the only person capable of actually taking his life. If he did indeed know Chuuya was just acting, though, I wonder if he had just thought far enough ahead to know how things would go and needed Chuuya to be present to get to that conclusion. I'm really curious as to how much of this plan was actual foresight and how much was improvisation.

As for the tripolar singularity... well I think we know where that leads, given that the anime gave us a little preview to future events.

I'll admit that the concept of the singularity is one of the things I least understand about the BSD lore/universe, but this certainly raises the stakes. I might be wrong about this, but aren't there theories that somehow Akutagawa and Atsushi's abilities combined are able to supersede singularities? In this way, they'd be the only hope against Tripolar Singularity Fukuchi (which I've got to assume works much like Arahabaki in that Fukuchi is not in control anymore).

We also now can now assume that Akutagawa (and assumedly anyone else who was turned into a vampire) becomes un-vampirified because Bram ceases to exist when Fyodor takes on his body, so this explains how we get to the above situation.

That's all I got for now! Please feel free to add to my analysis and discuss the questions I've asked, I love talking about this stuff with y'all! :)

Edit: Ok so of course almost immediately upon posting this I thought of more things to add in terms of how this all relates to absurdism. The concept of Fyodor being unable to die is not only absurd from the storytelling perspective of him being BSD's ultimate villain for so long, but also on a personal level for himself.

One of humanity's defining qualities is mortality -- the idea that we all die eventually, whether we like it or not. For Fyodor, this isn't true, though. His ability is a curse that traps him into living so long as people try to kill him. This further explains his ultimate motive of wanting to eliminate all abilities, probably because he recognizes many abilities to be curses and also that abilities have potential to be abused by those in power, whether for "right" or "wrong" reasons.

The irony in this is that Fyodor is doing just that, he has used his ability to remain alive far longer than he should have, and is thus able to carry out his plans. Yes, he believes what he is doing is for the good of humanity, but as the reader, we also know that this is not his decision to make. He has become the very thing he's trying to fight! This can be seen as Fyodor giving into the absurdity of reality, rather than actually rebelling against it, which makes him the antagonist to our absurdist protagonists, who refuse to give in and continue to push back against life's absurdities.

Fyodor's problem (and I think I talked about this in the chapter where he "died") is that he wants to control the absurd reality, but that is just not possible. You can't control meaninglessness, all you can do is not become a part of it, which Fyodor fails to do in his effort to not do so. It's a complete paradox.

Hopefully what I'm saying here makes sense, I am currently running on like five hours of sleep (which not a lot for me) and black tea lol

[djemsostylist]

Thoughts on Episode 26 of SCK

In short--I loved it. 

There is a lot I could say about it, and I’m sure most of it has already been said by people far more eloquent than I.  But I haven’t written down my thoughts about an episode in while and if ever there was an episode to talk about, well, this one was certainly it.  

There was a post I saw going around a few weeks ago about how sometimes enjoying a piece of media means viewing it with a measure of grace.  As a critical person by nature, I thought a lot about what that means, and I’ve decided that it means that sometimes, a piece of media may not be perfect, but if the soul is there, that is the only thing that matters. 

So, I think one of the major issues I’ve seen talked about with 26 is that it felt too good.  And to some degree, that makes sense.  Let’s be honest, 22-25 were not very good.  They had great singular moments, but taken as a whole, they were a bit of a mess.  20-21 gave us beautiful set up and direction and forward movement with not only Serkan and Eda as a couple, but as individuals, and that’s even with the contract mess.  But then 22 and 23 came along and we have Eda acting like a brat, intimate scenes that were cute and hot but ultimately a let down since the end result was always an “I love you” from Serkan followed by an -_- face from Eda, and basically no real forward movement with their relationship or character at all.  Add the introduction of one of the worst characters in television, and you kind of had a mess.  And while 24 was better, it still felt weird.  Serkan is acting distant, Eda is acting married, and again, no going anywhere until the last 5 minutes of the episode.  Plus the long awaited BA shows up and it turns out she’s a Disney villain with even thinner motives.  Then there was 25, which I think left most of the fandom feeling empty.  Serkan and Eda are at their very lowest possible point, and all their friends and family don’t seem to care and the amount of Edser scenes was too low to give us enough to not want to rage at the final scene. Plus, dubbed Prince showed up attempting to recreate a plot from Vampire Diaries and welp.  

So in 26, we start with what should be a devastated Eda and Serkan who have no path back to each other.  We were fully expecting another few weeks of breakup and Eda having to chase Serkan and more moping and more sadness and we didn’t get that.  Instead, we start with an Eda who is ready to do whatever it takes to spend as little time away from Serkan as possible and a Serkan who isn’t going to let go.  His plan is brilliant, and it works.  He knows something fishy is going on--despite her words the night before, which certainly hurt, she was also literally in tears and had been for the whole day.  And he knows she loves him.  In a way, his actions at the start of 26 are another brilliant parallel to the beginning of 19--Serkan breaks and decides to tell Eda everything the moment it becomes clear that she might actually move on with her life and he will lose her forever.  Eda breaks at the beginning of 26 when it’s clear Serkan is going to be a cool cucumber about everything and stop chasing her.  (I’m saying they could have probably solved all their issues in 15 if Eda had asked Efe on a date-Serkan would have been on his knees confessing and proposing in 10 min. flat, but I digress.)

No, they don’t have a ton of conversation in this.  There aren’t heartfelt, long dialogs about the wrongs they’ve done and the things they feel.  Frankly, they aren’t necessary.  Serkan has, at this point, said all he needs to say and he couldn’t be clearer.  And while we still haven’t heard Eda say “I love you”, her actions this episode show it, and he knows it, and well, if that end scene isn’t the biggest “I love you” idk what is.   

I was talking with @lolo-deli about the episode and she made an excellent point.  I’ll quote here “Their conversation in hall was short in dialogue but heavy in meaning and implication. In very few words they established: last night was real (and implied to be meaningful), she needs time to work out some complications (he understands what this means, she loves him and the break up was what was not real) and he will both trust her and wait for her without pressuring her AND he's still worried about her (in this case over Seyman which turns out to be a non-factor ama neyse!). That's a lot of important conversation wrapped up in a a 90 sec convo but it fits them because they understand one another very well.”

This is true of their conversation in the conference room after.  They almost go back down the jealousy fight spiral we’ve seen 100 times, but instead, Eda stops herself, Serkan stops himself, and instead of fighting, they talk and both agree they were wrong and acting silly and reaffirm their love and trust for each other.  In fact, both of them verbalize to their friends that they are 100% sure of the other and their feelings--they aren’t threatened by the Prince and B because of their fear of losing the other, but because both of those characters are creepy and dangerous and unhinged.  

I was okay with this episode because we spent 21 episodes watching them grow apart and together--sure the previous episodes were rough, but it was a transitional period.  I’m giving grace--and to quote lolo-deli again  “They trust each other, it's really that simple. We didn't need to have a half hour of conversation to establish that. Just like we don't need to see Eda chasing Serkan for two more episodes to prove she loves him because she does. Also simple. We know and he knows it. He deserved affirmation and he got it, she bloody well proposed marriage.”

And this is how I feel.  26 wasn’t perfect--I still didn’t care for the AAA plot, Thor and Barf need to be gone fast, and BA is kind of a one dimensional villain I want to like more than I do.  Engin and the rest of the friends were better this episode--Serkan and Engin talked for the first time in what feels like forever, Melo and Ceren were excellent support for Eda, and Serkan and Ferit are still on track to becoming the besties I want them to be.  I’m not 100% sure what Eda’s plan is to get around BA, although maybe she decided to take Serkan’s advice from 13 and just let it all burn down around them and they will be stronger together for it.  Honestly, Serkan was back and on fire this episode (and hotter than ever as a result) so maybe she knows that together, it doesn’t matter what BA is gonna do. 

We don’t know what is coming in the next few weeks, or what is left in front of us.  We’ve had a string of disappointing episodes.  But Serkan and Eda have been apart for 11 episodes and they are finally back together and on the same page at the same time for the first time ever in their relationship.  

In closing, I’ll leave you with this.  Regardless of how you feel about 26, Eda Yılız, chronic “leaper before looker” took the time to steal back Serkan’s ring, get together that look, find the world’s most extra ring box, sneak onto Serkan’s private plane, and then recreate their first real moment together (which we were oh so recently reminded of) in order to ask the love of her life to marry her.  And that is beautiful, no matter how many subplots get lost or editing goes bad.  Eda Yıldız asked Serkan Bolat to marry her with a ring with her name inside it on a plane where they first went from “nothing to something”.  Poetry and  parallels and I loved it.  

[yyxgin]

a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭

also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.

did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).

im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸

im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.

i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.

i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always

~ 🌻

LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3

ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.

OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3

YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(

YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3

go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.

i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you

[thessalian]

Thess vs Adulthood

My half-day off was ... both more and less stressful than I might otherwise have figured.

Somehow, for some fucking reason, the deluge of typing we’ve been having dried up. When I left, there were seven items in the queue (and I admit to some schadenfreude at being able to put off doing one by this one consultant who’s been working the more complicated cut-ups for like a month and so all his dictations are like ten minutes and full of bullshit minutiae like giving the exact width of every single tissue slice, which I know for a fact that you don’t have to do because various of his colleagues just give an average, and his block keys are fucking ridiculous and also while I get his accent well enough, his issues with singular vs plural and his other grammatical foibles kind of drive me bonkers after awhile so I’m praying the nine-minute monstrosity that I saw before I left is done by someone else this afternoon so I don’t fucking have to). I mean, yes, I worked like a fucking demon this week and have the muscle aches to show for it but daaaaaamn. Anyway, meant I got to head out without guilt.

Took a slightly roundabout way home because it was a nice day and I wanted to see some other bits of the city from the window of a double-decker bus. That was nice. Stopped for groceries. I needed decent shampoo and they were having a sale on the Aussie shampoo I like, and I have plans in the direction of burgers.

After that, an hour or so on hold with my bank as I tried to fix a long-ago cock-up and get my option to set up direct debits for paying my bills restored. It wasn’t a good idea for a long time because of my iffy financial situation. Now that I have a permanent job? Bring on the automatic bill-paying. They solved my problem better than the entity I got on online chat (who I suspect was one of the rather controversial outsourced staff in ... I think India was where the news reports mentioned back in the day) who just said, “I don’t see a problem; try again”. To that entity’s credit, it did take some digging to find the issue. However, it’s not like they seemed to try ... or maybe they just didn’t have full access to the notes on my account, I dunno.

Anyway, now that that seems to be resolved, I can loaf. I am very very tired. I could nap. Thing is, I don’t want to mess up my sleep patterns worse than they already are. Also ... video games. I mean, I have many. In fact, I have more now because yesterday involved one of my besties lobbing the PC version of Horizon: Zero Dawn at my head. Seriously, video games are too big now and there’s never enough time to play them. I still haven’t done much with Odyssey yet (mostly because I’m still a little intimidated by the mechanics, at least after a long day at work and attempts at recovery from same), I have The Outer Worlds to poke at to see if I’m right and the new glasses help negate the “first person perspective causes migraines” issue... I know I require enrichment but it would help to have the energy to take the opportunities at it that I’m offered. But nope; worked too hard for that. Even when I have free time, I’m generally too fuckin’ tired.

Not that I look it, apparently; apparently I don’t look half as worn out and dragged out as I feel, which seems to translate in the eyes of most as ‘not looking old’. It would appear that unless you’re kissing close, the white in my hair is easy to mistake for blonde, and in fact mixes in with my natural blonde highlights that come out when there’s more sun. Between that and the mask, apparently I reeeeeeeeeeally don’t look my age. I mean, I’m 44 years old. I do not expect to be asked for ID in a Challenge 25 situation. However, it has happened twice this week. Both clerks looked absolutely dumbstruck when I handed over my ID (obviously mine, because it’s too complicated to fake and the picture - taken when my hair was long, without being allowed to wear my glasses, and when I hadn’t slept in over 36 hours - too appalling to carry around willingly) and they checked my birth year. I grumbled about this to Bubbles and (after the usual thing of, “How old are you, anyway? ...No way! You don’t look anything like that old!”) got questions about my skincare thing. Which ... is nonexistent. I wash my face once a day in the same kind of anti-blemish scrub I’ve been using for about thirty years of my life. I take multivitamins because my dietary options are incredibly limited and I don’t fancy osteoporosis, worse anaemia than I already have, or scurvy. I do not in any way get enough sleep. I probably do drink enough water, so there’s that, but still, people ask me what moisturiser I use and I’m like, “No, dude, my oily-ass skin doesn’t need more moisture. That’s what the anti-zit scrub’s for”.

Apparently I’m supposed to be happy about this and want to be carded forever. But I don’t mind looking 44. That’s how old I am. There is nothing wrong with being older, and there is thus nothing wrong with looking older. I mean, I guess I have a different perspective on it because I honestly don’t give a shit about anyone who says that a woman’s life is more or less over when she stops being able to pass for 25 because a) that’s total bullshit, b) I don’t entirely count myself as a woman, and c) that ‘life being over’ thing only seems to apply to things like attracting a man (which is supposedly women’s only purpose, which is also total bullshit but that’s another rant), and even if I had any interest in doing that, I don’t want them to want me for my body because I’m ace and thus have no intention of sharing it with them anyway. If someone doesn’t want to be involved with the 44-year-old with the white streaks in their hair and the nerdy-ass T-shirt, they don’t get the 25-year-old with the blonde highlights and the nerdy-ass T-shirt either.

Besides, the white in my hair looks good and the laugh and smile lines around eyes and mouth respectively? Those are medals of honour. The life I’ve had, the fact that I’ve smiled and laughed enough to get those is a fucking miracle.

[brendaonao3]

could you talk about all the hate steve's getting over endgame's decision? i don't see how he abandoned bucky and sam (it was 6 seconds and he came back!), he didn't retcon peggy's life 'cause he married her in another timeline, we don't know that he abandoned bucky/hydra there (he surely didn't)- he just lived a second life and came back, where he's STILL available to his friends, just not cap. it's a choice. i feel we might've gotten too wrapped up in headcanons to appreciate it for what it is

Hi there, Nonnie!

I’ve gotten essentially this same ask about a dozen times in the few hours I’ve been back on Tumblr, and all I can say is that I am flabbergasted at a) the hate for the ending and b) the posts going around saying that Steve’s decision was OOC, because what?!?!?! Has anyone actually been paying attention to the actual MCU and not just fanfic???

There’s a lot to unpack here, but I’ll try to be brief

1) No, he didn’t abandon anyone - Bucky 100000000000% knew exactly what Steve was planning to do, they’d clearly talked about it, and Bucky was on board with Steve leaving to live his best life, whatever that was, whenever that was.

2) He didn’t retcon Peggy’s life because all we see is Steve getting his dance with her (which they both deserved and have earned). Steve never says he married Peggy or that he stayed behind for her or anything else. And look, we can all speculate all we want, but it’s baffling to me that fandom can bend over backwards to make pairings work with characters who have zero onscreen interaction, but they can’t read between the lines of a film to understand that there are so many ways to interpret what Steve did, and that Markus/McFeely wrote it that way on purpose.

(It’s my personal headcanon that he just went back to see her to have their dance before he left her to her life and he went off to live his, but you do you)

3) I cannot believe we are still having this conversation in 2019, but Steve’s life does NOT revolve around Bucky, nor does Bucky’s revolve around Steve. And that’s OKAY!! They’re still besties in all the ways that count - they’re still soulmates in all the ways that count.

4) Steve CAN’T RESCUE BUCKY FROM HYDRA - I mean, sure, he can in an alternate timeline, but the second he returns the stone, that timeline closes, and Bucky still winds up with Hydra and right back where he was at the end of Endgame. The Ancient One made that abundantly clear to Bruce.

5) Steve going away and having a life (even if it’s in the past, or he time-hops or whatever else) does not mean he’s all of a sudden not the same character we’ve known - in fact, his decision to have a life away from the Avengers and Captain America is THE MOST SINGULAR IN-CHARACTER THING he could have done. He has spent the entire time he’s been unfrozen trying to figure out who he is and where he belongs and fighting a war he thought was over and trying to move on, even though he was thwarted at every single turn. So yes, him finally honoring his promise to Natasha (‘we both need to get a life’, ‘you first’) is absolutely the most Steve thing he could do, and completely the right move and the perfect way to close out his story. We can now imagine all of the adventures he had as time-traveling nomad - again, living his best goddamn life - and knowing that he will still be reunited with his friends at the end.

What the hell else do people want????? (This is a trick question, btw, I know exactly what people wanted)

Endgame isn’t a perfect film, but it comes pretty damn close, and they way they handled Steve’s arc is totally a big reason why.