#only a very temporary relief thats possibly making it overally worse

[raksh-writes]

We're going for a full day trip from uni tomorrow and instead of being excited, I've been dreading it because my brain's trying to leak out my ears since saturday and nothing's helping. At this point I don’t even know if its a migraine type of thing or sinuses related or whatever. Im definitely oversensitive to the light and sound, and my ears feel kinda stuffed? Achey and all wierd. It's making the simplest things feel impossible because I can barely think straight.

I don’t know what to do. I hate it here ;_;

[urujiako]

hey jia this ask is going to be really long but i just want to tell you that i am here for you no matter what, even though i'm just a friend on the internet- hearing what you've said breaks my heart. i can't say i know exactly how you feel because i'm not you and i will never be in that exact situation, but i will say that i've walked through some rough patches in life before as well, and i want you to know that in the end, there is clarity; and in the end, things will be okay.

it's easy to find ourselves in difficult situations. that's how life is, i guess; one moment we are full of joy and feel as if we're living our best life, the next moment it seems as if everything can come crashing down all at once. and sometimes it's very, very hard to understand why we get stuck in situations that are seemingly impossible to get out of; sometimes it's difficult to wrap our heads around why we, out of all people, we who try our best to be kind and loving, have to experience the heart-wrenching pains of life.

and i just want you to know you're not alone. you are loved, even if it may not be the kind of love that is ideal to feel in these kind of situations. you're loved by me, and all of us here who appreciate you so, so much. i say this truthfully and honestly that you are one of the friendliest people i've met online and irl combined; the first time i saw you in my notifications i was overjoyed because i'd seen how you interacted with my other mutuals, and you were so full of love and i instantly felt comfortable.

but your compassion and care for the people around you is evident, whether it be us or those you know in real life. and i know how difficult it can be when you feel as if the emotions (and possibly future) of someone you care about is in your hands, it can feel like a heavy burden, even if that's not how we want it to feel- but it's okay, it's okay to acknowledge that. and it's okay to take care of yourself, and leave space for you, because at the end of the day you are the most important, you should be the most important. and even though it sounds self-centered, we can only care for others when we care about ourselves first. it's okay to not always be positive and radiating energy to everyone, because sometimes you need to be cared for too. you deserve just as much as you give.

i know it's a lot harder said than done. but know that pain is always temporary, and there is always relief to be found, there is always happiness along the way. and it's okay to feel down, it's okay to feel lost sometimes.

and i know this isn't what comforts everyone, but perhaps knowing you're christian i'll leave you with something that often guides me and gives me peace.

God will guide you through life, even when you feel as if you're unable to escape. He will never put you in a situation which you cannot handle. and maybe the way of "handling" the situation is out of your comfort zone, maybe the experiences you go through will hurt. sometimes people and things come and go in our lives for reasons we may never fully understand until we look back on them in hindsight. inevitably, we will go through difficulties in life that change us, and we won't know at first whether it's for better or for worse. but either way, they shape who we are, and i don't think that you should ever be ashamed of who you are. because you're wonderful. and believe in yourself; even if you may feel unfit to "suit" a certain role, whether it be in someone else's life or in your own, just know that you are worthy, and you are strong.

and know that everything will be okay.

i hope the troubles ease soon, and that aside from all the loving and beautiful humans on this earth, God will always love you, too, and he is always watching over you.

sarah.

(this is a bit long, so full msg under the cut!)

this post made me so unbelievably happy. you should have seen the smile on my face TuT genuinely cried, this was such a sweet ask! i love you so much – thank you for making my day a little brighter!

firstly; yes. i'm here for you too, my love! my dms are always open when you want to talk. <3

secondly; i love that. there will be clarity – this whole phrase is just so comforting :") this is true, everything will work out for the best one day. it may not be today, nor tomorrow, nor next week – it'll happen one day.

thirdly; yeah, def! life fluctuates so much its really disappointing but change is the only constant ig haish. even if it is really painful at times. comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason :""")

fourth; sarah, this part just made me cry. i love you so much. this was genuinely what i hoped this blog would be – a safe shelter with warm food and blankets that just.. radiates a space of love, you know? part of being a christian is also advocating for love to each other :") i'm so happy you feel this way about my blog. this means so so much to me. i'm so happy that you're comfortable around me, it means a lot. i love you dearly, sarah <3

fifth; this hit hard. this is exactly whats going through rn. and it sucks ass. i don't think it's self centered to love yourself first – thats basic human decency XD you're absolutely right, my dear.

sixth; pain truly is only temporary. <3 this is such a lovely reminder honestly.

seventh; this makes me so happy. thank you for the words of encouragement – of peace, of comfort, of assurance. this was beautifully written and i'm so glad that it was for me! He will always be there to ground me when i float too high, and i think that's truly something worth living for. my anchor, my hope. thank you for this sweet message!

sarah, i love you. you've been the absolute sweetest since day 1 and i genuinely cannot imagine not having you in my life. you've been such a big blessing and inspiration (all glory to Him!) in my life and i'm so happy that God put us on these crossed paths! i love you so much, have the most wonderful day/night.

mega big hugs from me. mwah. xx