#only one of whom is willing to emotionally support me when im telling them IM STRUGGLING

[separatismor]

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[danzinora-switch]

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 1 - Raphael

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Raph: ISFJ, 6w5

The Defender, The Loyalist, The Big Brother, did I mention The Defender?

Raph is always helping out the little guy, whether that little guy is Mikey, Donnie, Leo, April or someone else. In the first episode, Mystic Mayhem, Raph is the one who notices poor Mayhem alone and scared, and suggests they should help him. He just met the little furball, and even after Mayhem attacks his face he’s still ready to fight some dog-jogger Yokai to protect him. He’s there when April’s school is attacked by Hypno (Hypno! Part Deux) and when she just needs her fan fixed (Repairin’ the Baron). He’s also there for a myriad of underdogs, such as Guy Flambe (Pizza Puffs). Interestingly enough, that episode also indicates that Raph has taken to moonlighting as the hero Red Angel of Preventing Harm.

Raph at his Worst: What is Raph afraid of? Beyond Mrs. Cuddles. Raph is afraid of being alone. But he also feels strongly empathetic when others are alone: Mikey on a solo mission in Hot Soup: The Game, Mayhem in the pilot, Frankenfoot when he runs away.  But why? 

If we look through the lens of the Enneagram, Raph wants security and support. The system/structure he is most committed to is their inner circle of family/friends. So nothing must happen to those he loves!

Raph has also demonstrated Worst-Case Scenario thinking when he’s stressed. Alone for 5 minutes in Man vs Sewer? Expect the worst. In Nothing but Truffles, Mikey even flashes back to a Raph lecture about what to do in the event of a: shark attack, vampire attack, werewolf attack, and puppy attack.

That said, when someone does hurt someone he loves, or sufficiently threatens/scares him and/or his support system, all his disaster-planning goes out the window in an effort to SMASH IT LIKE A BOSS! (Counterphobic 6).

He puts a lot of pressure on himself, but it’s not really about failing in big moments (as Leo describes it in Mystic Mayhem and Down with the Sickness, but that says more about Leo than Raph), but more about letting the others down. He needs to open the gateway to the Mystic City or else they’ll lose April forever. He needs to think of something to ask for in the Must Say Yes stage that will please all his brothers and not leave anyone out. And, in Insane in the Mama Train, Raph is the one most affected when Splinter says he’s disappointed. The others were willing to brush it off and apologize, but Raph is aware that they let Splinter down. It’s something worse, and he feels that hurt, deeply.

Raph is also sensitive enough that he sometimes takes things too personally. When Mikey and Donnie have a good idea in One Man’s Junk, he internalizes it as ‘Raph never has a good idea’. Mikey sorts that out the best: “We’re not saying you don’t have good ideas, Raph. We’re just saying we do, too.” It seems to snap him out of self-deprecating funk.

Average Raph: Raph wants to protect those he loves from physical threats, but also emotional ones. That’s why he’s so bad at handling interpersonal conflict. He can’t yell at Donnie in Donnie’s Gifts. He can’t yell at (Mike? Lou? Tony?) in the Pizza Pit because “it’ll destroy him”. He’s super conflict-averse when it comes to those he cares about. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (ISFJ). Mostly this is a kind, caring, compassionate trait, but sometimes the situation needs Dr. Delicate Touch.

He’s the supportive friend and brother. He’s always ready to help out, whether it’s fixing April’s fan (Repairin’ the Baron), rescuing Guy Flambe from Meatsweats (Pizza Puffs) or saving Mayhem from the mirror. He’s encouraging… but sometimes to the point of enabling. In Pizza Puffs he recognizes this the most and literally wrestles with himself over trying to let his brothers fix problems on their own without him there to protect them. Sometimes he can’t help but support his friends even when he doesn’t want to: when he’s volun-told by Mikey to help warm Draxum up to humans, he doesn’t ditch, and when April invokes the Birthday Card to help Warren Stone he honors it. He can be dedicated and loyal to a fault.

He can be a little short-sighted, at times. His team-building exercise in Stuck On You was meant to be a positive, brotherly, bonding experience, but suffered from serious drawbacks. His tenacity in smashing foes is admirable, but doesn’t always get the best results, something Donnie tries to get him to see and think through. But they’re also what makes him a force to be reckoned with. You do NOT mess with Raph’s inner circle and expect NOT to get smashed, hoss! And the fact that his brothers know that he has their backs like this is probably its own form of support and security.

Raph at his Best: He believes in the Mad Dogs the most, that they can be and are heroes. “We’re do-gooders! And what do do-gooders do? They do good! And they do good well.” (The Mutant Menace) His compassion and commitment to protecting the underdog keep the others on track and in line with their goals. He is the rock in the middle of the chaos.

Raph actually has good practical skills: he has the mission calendar that only he seems to consistently stick to, and clearly enough self-discipline to responsibly and reliably sleep with his retainer on every night (Flushed, But Not Forgotten)

He also has the most grounded sense of duty. When they’re watching the skateboarding livestream in Gilbert’s Department store in The Longest Fight, Raph is the one who first investigates what sounds like a robbery, and is the one who cajoles his brothers into fighting the Foot. It’s a ‘look, guys, we have to do the right thing here and prevent them from stealing!’ moment. Pizza Puffs: look, guys, you’re going to have to learn to solve problems without me, it’s for your own good! (He knows that’s what needs to happen, even though he’s at war inside over it).

Raph says: what’s the responsible thing to do? And he’s trying to get his brothers to understand this as well (Pizza Puffs).

Raph Relationships:

Donnie: despite the lack of a full Donnie & Raph episode, they have a few surprising things in common. They each have an episode where they want their brothers to learn something. Donnie, in Mind Meld, wants his brothers to be smarter and plan ahead. Raph, in Pizza Puffs, wants his brothers to use some common sense and be a little more responsible. They both like finding solutions to problems, just one focuses on technical and one focuses on interpersonal problems. Mostly (for right now, though) Raph can be blunt with Donnie. He’ll slap the genius in the face with reality. “Donnie! The mech is REAL!” (The Purple Game). “Donnie, I know you know how to say it. We’re all on to you.” (Air Turtle). This is one turtle with whom he can put his foot down and say ‘hey! Back to Earth, now!’ (I can also see them collectively sharing facepalm moments in the future).

Leo: there are times when Leo’s need to be the best and stand-out attitude clash with Raph’s focus on teamwork (Air Turtle, for example “take your win-at-all-costs attitude somewhere else, Leo, we need to work as a team!”) but they do get to a point where both of their strengths in the group strengthen each other, like how iron sharpens iron. Raph wants everyone to work together as a team, but Leo sees their individual strengths. Without that, we get Raph’s glueball disaster in Stuck On You, but together, we have their greatest moment in Many Unhappy Returns. Leo points out the parts each member have to play, and Raph puts it all together in one big plan to defeat the Shredder. “Trust me, bro.” “I do.” (I’m really excited to see where the show goes with this).

Mikey: the main Mikey & Raph episode right now actually seems to be Repairin’ the Baron, and there’s an interesting clash going on here. Raph believes and supports his system, his family. Draxum has been the mortal enemy of the Mad Dogs and deserves to be smashed. However, Mikey is adopting him into the family. Raph is not immediately okay with this, he has a hard time trying to change his inner world. But he cares about Mikey. As he tells Draxum “I’m still trying to get used to this, but Mikey thinks you’re part of the family. And the number rule of the Mad Dogs is: you always take care of family!” They’re actually very complementary, as Mikey can step in in emotionally charged situations where Raph can’t, and how his adaptability gets through Raph’s need for stability. (It will be interesting to see what Raph does as Mikey grows up).

Ultimately, I’m excited to see Raph grow as he figures out the best way to guide this team and save the world. Home is where the heart is, and he’s got a big enough heart to be the home for a lot of people.

So that’s my (unbelievably cut-down) analysis of Rottmnt Raph! I’m going to save the relationships with April and Splinter for later, since this is already too long. Here are the links to learn more about the ISFJ and counterphobic 6w5 if you’re interested:

https://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-6

https://enneagrampaths.com/2018/04/09/im-afraid-im-going-to-punch-you-discussions-about-the-phobic-and-counter-phobic-enneagram-type-six/

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-6-wing-5

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/01/mbti-and-the-enneagram-2/10/

[draw-you-coward]

Hi! How is everyone? I wanted to talk about the Scions. Specifically, the Archons. Major spoilers for Shadowbringers!

I think what really helped me come to these conclusions was seeing all of them actively work together. specifically, seeing urianger in a context where he’s an actual character and not a deus ex machina! (side note: he’s honestly amazing in this expansion and i. love him??) I hope they keep this dynamic whenever it’s realistically possible!

So mostly, I want to talk about how the scions individually react to possibly groundbreaking events that have the possibility of changing their worldview. im speaking mostly about emet-selch’s “hydaelyn and zodiark were the first beings akin to primals” revelation. or more specifically, their separate reactions to that revelation. i think it’s very telling on how they each individually digest information. we, the players, may arrive to our own conclusions at our own pace, but we have to remember that for these characters, this is their world. their world view, being shattered. they all, to some degree, react negatively. they just show it differently, even if it’s not all that obvious.

i think that shadowbringers overall did a very good job of establishing their individual character dynamics, or more importantly, the idea that their major strength is also their major weakness.

let’s start with thancred. right away, his major flaw is apparent. in fact, a lot of people have gotten (rightfully) mad at him for it, although i think when he gets over himself and turns it around, it’s a lot more subtle. but i digress. with thancred, what he does with information he doesnt like is look at it, says “okay, i dont like that,” shoves it to the back of his mind to not think about, and tries to focus on whatever he wants to focus on in the immediate present. of course, it manages to bleed through regardless, and that’s where his doubts come from. and because he refuses to confront them head-on to deal with them, he has a very difficult time letting them go.

the actual first time when this comes to mind for me isn’t with ryne, it’s with the word of the mother in 3.X. (yes, it’s there with lahabrea too, but executed in a less clean manner, and people have already talked about that to death.) what he first sees is minfilia, the girl he’s attempted to look after primarily because of a sense of guilt, the girl who means the world to him, and whom he feels like, we know now, that he has never been sufficient enough for. (that theme of him feeling like he isn’t good enough is repeated multiple times with him, and it makes me wonder if it’s because of his manner of thinking.) but minfilia’s different now, in a strange and new and maybe not altogether comfortable way, and she’s drifting away from him now, and he can’t catch up to her to make up for all his regrets. he realizes this, realizes what’s going on, very, very quickly. in fact, i’d say that out of all of them, thancred is the one who is the quickest on the uptake. but he shoves his logical side away, and reacts emotionally, because he doesn’t want to acknowledge what he knows is true. in shadowbringers he does the same thing; he acknowledges minfilia’s words, and it is clear that he dwells on them despite himself, but he wants to react emotionally, in the moment. he is a very, despite his apparent distance, emotional person.

when he finally begins to get over himself accept the situation, it is in the tone of someone who is moving on from the loss of a loved one. he talks about how they met, how she grew up, what she liked. this is because he’s finally coming to terms with what he knew this entire time: that the real minfilia, his minfilia, died in that tunnel. the version of her that he is clinging onto in heavensward, in shadowbringers, is not her and all she used to be. it is not the “word of the mother” or the “oracle of light” or whatever she has turned into. it is but “minfilia,” but a memory, and he’s finally let it go enough to see it as such.

woo! okay. so moving on to how this works out for him in the best. honestly i dont think people acknowledge this enough, but he displays it time and time again? thancred is the one that is best equipped to deal with the present. to confront problems head-on without worrying about what may or may not happen, and without getting lost in the possibility of failure. he is by far the scion with the best ability to keep a level head. this is most apparent, to me, in aumarot. everyone one else is confused and lowkey freaking out or what have you, and thancred is the only one who has decided that no, what they really need at the moment is not to panic. what they need is calm, and confidence. and he is that. and you know what? he was right. and i think for me at least, he’s the biggest reason why I calmed down some at that point in the story.

next: y’shtola! I have less to say about the other scions, mostly because i wasn’t following their character arcs as closely or at all, but I do love them still!

y’shtola is the one who most visibly is struggling to handle emet-selch’s revelation. (you can talk to her now, at the time of the quest, or check your quest journal for confirmation of this). where thancred realizes things in a far more round-about manner--that is to say, figures them out, shoves them to the back of his mind, and tries not to think about them--she takes them by the horns and tries to confront them head-on. this gives her, in a way, tunnel vision. she is the loudest about her opinion, and the most direct. when emet-selch makes them by association question hydaelyn, she is the one who speaks up to defend her and their belief system. she is stubborn. it takes her a while to eat through something enough to 100% accept it.

but because of this, her conviction and belief in anything is strong. when she truly believes in something, she believes in it the most. she is the strength when the storm is finally over and she’s had time to build herself up. she isn’t afraid to force other characters to see the flaws in the way they are viewing things, or confront them when she knows she is in the right. yes, she can be harsh sometimes, but she is sorely needed. someone has to be sure of something here! in this way, she too is comforting. when thancred is calm, you know something is bad. when yshtola is calm, you know that whatever you have to worry about is surmountable.

urianger! my poor often-shafted elf giraffe man. he’s the one i had the most trouble puzzling out, so i may be completely wrong! but i’ll try my best :>

urianger is the one who has had this constant theme of showing up at the last moment to present something that he has thoroughly and completely thought about so he can be entirely certain of it. urianger’s way of dealing with things is to listen, listen some more, maybe go digging, and finally, only come to a conclusion when he knows every bit of information he can. he’s willing to work with ascians, he’s willing to go double-dipping in terms of sides, he’s willing to risk his friends’ trust. he is willing to take a long, long time to achieve a goal and know things only in full, and he has the patience to do so. he has the patience to deal with thancred in shadowbringers, to listen to what the exarch tells him to do, to bear with the whole plan, even as he sees things objectively keep getting worse. he’s not easy to rile up, he sees things as a whole instead of in parts... all of this really makes him a good teacher! it makes him a kind man. but.

he waits a little too long. what happens when you finally kill vauthry and emet-selch ruins everything? urianger’s carefully-laid plans go awry. suddenly, everything has gone wrong and he has no backup, because he never thought to make one. he has such conviction that his passivity is for the best that he stands by, barely intervenes, and decides to let things run their course even when warning signs are flashing in front of him. when things go wrong he fumbles, and doesn’t know what to do, because he isn’t used to that happening. up until shb, he’s taught himself that the path of inaction and support is the best one to take, and i am glad that he is finally being confronted with the realities of that. even with thancred and ryne; he can clearly see that their initial dynamic isn’t healthy, but he does absolutely nothing active about it. in the end, it is his very opposite force--entropy, chance--that fixes things with them. it’s interesting he became an astrologian, i think, because divination is something so abstract and vague that it allows him to stay in his comfort zone of not doing much to change things. fate is a fickle mistress, yes, but he leans a little too heavily on how things should be that he fails to see that everything in the present is in flux; that it is, in fact, dependent on the uncertain.

okay, that’s it! i think the three of them complement each other nicely with their respective strengths and weaknesses, and that’s why i hope they’ll keep that dynamic in the future! of course, if you disagree or want to correct me, please feel free; this is purely my own opinion, and i am very much putting myself in a position to be (respectfully) disagreed with by posting this. on the other hand, if you want to elaborate on something or add something, please also feel free! i’d love to hear your thoughts.

<3

nae

[rhythmharemcallout]

(sorry this is going to be a very long submission… this submission should also contain screenshots of one of our conversations, so warning in advance for that.)

tumblr user herntai (used to go by sen, teeth, and now june) emotionally manipulated and sexually abused me for… a long time. many months. possibly years (i cannot find all the logs of our conversations but i know i have known her for quite some time and the entire time i’ve known her this has been a problem) she repeatedly abused me and kept coming back to abuse me multiple times. i do not doubt that she would take advantage of other people if she could (and she has…)

to start, june knew that i was pretty severely mentally ill (bpd, avpd, dependent traits, at the time depression and anxiety (now i have a bipolar nos w/ psychotic traits diagnosis)), i was a previous sex abuse victim, that i had tremendous trouble telling people no, and that i crave validation/acceptance/approval and will do almost anything for it. im also hyperempathetic and am terrified of hurting peoples feelings or making them feel bad. she used all this to her advantage to seek out sexual favors from me, mostly in the form of nudes, sexual roleplay, sexual information about me, etc.

june had a pattern to her manipulation and abuse. she’s clever and knew how to play upon my weaknesses. she followed my blog and would see posts where i was talking about being depressed or lonely or scared, she would send me a message encouraging/supporting me in order to make me feel safe, then after talking for a while she would become sexual, even if i told her it made me uncomfortable. she did this almost every opportunity she had to talk to me.

every once in a while i would stop talking to her after becoming fed up with her treatment of me. every single time she would find a way to come back into my life and continue abusing me, under the guise of “being better this time” and promising extra hard to respect my boundaries (but never actually doing that)

one time when she was particularly upset she kept asking for nudes and implied that if she didn’t get any that she would hurt or kill herself. this was extremely distressing to me because i felt responsible for her wellbeing. i believed that if i didnt take nudes of myself and send them to her that she was going to hurt herself and it would be my fault. (i do not have screenshots of this conversation but it was incredibly distressing and something i kept in the back of my mind in subsequent conversations)

i remember several conversations where, at the beginning, i would tell her i was feeling very sex-repulsed and didn’t want sex mentions at all. i would practically beg her not to bring up sex. inevitably she would ask for nudes and keep bringing it up randomly and eventually when i would give in she would ask for more or implied it wasn’t enough for her. this happened so frequently that i think it’s telling that i would even have to give a disclaimer at the beginning of our conversations, telling her i didn’t want to talk about sex at all this time.

she would give me excuses like she was hypersexual and sex was the only thing that made her feel stable, which is, by itself, fine but does not excuse making unwanted sexual comments toward me (especially after i expressed i was uncomfortable or at least not giving my consent) or begging for nudes after i said multiple times pretty adamantly (compared to how i usually respond to people) that i didn’t want to send any.

one time i expressed that my fp (favorite person, someone on whom i focus most of my attention and look to for validation and acceptance the most) wasn’t talking to me. june seemed upset that she wasnt my fp and stated that she wished she was someone’s fp. especially considering her manipulation and abuse of me, this is really horrific.

i don’t have screenshots for the majority of this (we voice chatted a lot and it appears ive lost most of the conversations we had and i didnt save screenshots because i wasnt thinking that i would have to write something like this) but this is the exchange that i had before i stopped talking to her. please keep in mind that at the time i considered her my friend (hence the affectionate language because im like that with all my friends) and at this point i had become pretty good at coming up with excuses for why i didnt want to take nudes (like saying i had tried taking nudes that day already but didnt like it) because she asked me so often (also this is about the most adamant i ever got in my saying no because i was sick of her asking me so much even after my telling her i didn’t want to send any and didnt want her to ask anymore):

(these screenshots contain nsfw text)

(im the blue, june is the gray)

(the following happens a bit later on that night but notice that i did not actually consent to the first sexual action but she continues to escalate it. by the time i say “i’m uncomfortable now” i’m actually having a full-blown panic attack and having traumatic flashbacks but she is continuing to try to keep me in the conversation. this had actually happened multiple times in the past where she would try to calm me down so she could attempt it again later on after i’ve stopped panicking. it happened several times that she would make me very uncomfortable and i would say i had to go but she would convince me to stay and continue making sexual comments or ask for nudes again. at that point usually i was dissociating and more willing to just let things happen or make impulsive decisions, which she knew.)

(this is even more sexual than the last screenshots and might be more distressing, im sorry)

(she was very good at making me feel like she cared about me and wanted to make me feel safe, even though nothing could be further from the truth. i fell for it time and time again because i crave affection and support so much. i fell for it so easily and that’s why she kept coming back to me and convinced me to get close to her again even after i cut off contact)

(these screenshots are from our last conversation which was in mid december of 2015, which is a while ago but still something i believe people should be aware of, especially considering she’s still pulling this shit…)

i wanted to try going through more of my backlog for more screenshots but honestly just reading these and typing all of this is making me shake so bad, and the conversation i included isn’t even the worst one we had. i never wanted to think about this again and i hate that i had to write all of this but i really wanted to because i don’t want other people becoming her victim. please, please, please, steer clear of her.

if you need me to submit anymore information i’m willing because i really want people to be aware of how insidiously abusive she is… i’m sorry this submission was so long but i felt all this information was necessary to drive home how ugly her behavior was… and thank you for taking the time to read this, i hope this was written well enough to make sense.

(the email used for this submission is a throwaway, i dont want anyone being able to track me… sorry)

[supermlmsoftware-blog]

Insider Secrets: How the Pros Build a Large MLM Group

Well it happened again today. I checked my e-mail, only to find a message from someone I haven't listened to in years. What does she ask me? If I desire to join her malaysia mlm software. (Sigh.) And can I give her the names and mobile number of my friends, family and employees who could buy her products? (Double sigh.).

And you ought to wonder ... will these people ever learn?

Its just like decisions I ascertain my office. They tell Lornette that they have an urgent consulting or training project, and must speak to me right away. I call them back to hear something like, Hi Randy, my name is so-and-so, we met a few years ago at the MLMIA convention. (Ive never been to an MLMIA Convention.) Im utilizing XYZ Company, and I just desired to touch base with you and blah, blah ...

And its always the same. The consulting project or business venture they want me to evaluate, means to induct as a distributor on their front level. They often say theyre returning my call, are old friends of mine, or some other outright lie to achieve past Lornette. Theyre worse then the dammed toner and light bulb salesmen. They just don't get it.

Badgering prospects ...

Individuals who make at least $10,000 a month in Network Marking on a consistent basis, never do such silly stuff. They never use dishonest or duplicitous means to reach people. They don't spam people over the Internet and theyre not sales call some idiots on a business opportunity list. They don't alienate everyone they know, and they aren't chasing skinny rabbits. They are talking to qualified prospects, and getting quality appointments to make quality presentations.

Lets look at the marketing process something I think a lot more people should think of a lot more. Heres why ...

Most individuals approach marketing as selling. And selling as getting the dumb prospect to buy something he doesn't need. They devote their career to learning NLP, sleight of hand, and a host of other manipulative techniques to coerce prospects into buying things they don't want or need. Anthony Robbins and a legion of little Tony wannabes have created an entire cottage industry teaching people to do this. Many MLMers have delved the fray, bringing these and other high-pressure sales techniques into Mlm.

These are the jackasses who call during your dinner hour, opening with lines like, Jim you have no idea me yet but Im partnering with an opportunity so amazing, blah, blah (Scream).

I approach marketing entirely different ...

I have no interest in trying to sell something to someone who doesn't want it, and I suggest you don't either. True marketing is based on a simple - yet quite profound philosophy:.

Were looking for people ... who are looking for what we have.

Put into more specific terms it means this: Our job is to identify qualified prospects then put our marketing message in front of them. Give them enough information to make the right decision for them.

If that means they join your opportunity or buy your product, good. If it means they dont, thats good too. Your job is not to sell your opportunity or products to those that don't need or desire them.It is to find the people who want what you have and give them enough information so they can decide if getting it from you is a fair exchange of value.

Sorting, not Selling ...

Network Marketing is much more a sorting process, than it is a selling business. It is this fundamental difference in philosophy that separates me from the multitudes of sales trainers, marketing gurus and book authors out there. I take no perverse pride in selling ice cubes to the Eskimos. I am not here to prove my manhood by demonstrating I can manipulate or trick a guy into buying something he doesn't want, or cant afford. Theres no integrity in that.

I do take great pride, however, in presenting my marketing message in the best, most effective manner possible to qualified prospects. I want to outsell, outmaneuver and out market my competitors, but I want to do it by offering a better value. Then I want to market that better value better than anyone else out there. And thats what I want for you ...

What the Successful People Do ...

For more than 15 years, Ive been studying what worked and what didnt, in Network Marketing. Learned what the long-term successful people did and why. Discovered the secrets of effective presentations, and what motivated prospects to join. And began the rudimentary forerunner of what became the system I teach today. It was only then that I began to achieve any degree of success. But it wasnt lasting ...

While I was able to conduct meetings, make presentations, and sponsor a large number of people ... most of my distributors could not. The more people I sponsored, the faster they seemed to drop out. What I did worked, but it didnt duplicate. I came to realize that success without duplication is merely future failure in disguise.

I changed to my system and fine-tuned it, simplified I, and made it easier to replicate. It not only worked, but it duplicated as well. It is that system (with continuous refinement) that has helped many countless people, across the world, reach higher levels of success in Network Marketing. It is that system which I shared in the first edition of my book, How to Build a Multi-Level Money Machine.

The book can save you much of the frustration and failure I faced. Building upon my success, you can cut many years off your growth curve and build your network much faster. Youll learn what attracts prospects to you, and how to present to them effectively. Youll discover the kind of people you want to sponsor, and whom you would be better to screen out in the pre-approach process.

Once youre well educated in the sponsoring process, you will learn steps to manageand keep growinga large network. The ways to spend your time, how to develop leaders, and how to counsel them. Most importantly, youll learn how to empower those leaders to develop new ones. By the time you finish reading the book, you will have a clear understanding of a fundamental, profound truth about Home based: You don't grow your network. You grow your people - and they grow your group.

My hope is that youll view Network Marketing as the professional career it has become, and will join me on my mission, which is to continue raising the standards of this honorable profession.

Unlike corporate Americawith its downsizing and rat-eat-rat competition Network Marketing offers you the opportunity to nurture and empower the inherent talents in all those you sponsor. In this business, success means the chance to develop spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and financially, while you contribute in a positive way to others.

As you undertake this journey of challenge, adventure and growth, you will attract others who share your vision and follow your example. You will lead them for a short timethen release them as they unfold into leaders and start the process all over again. You will feel pride, joy and a sense of accomplishment few ever experience. You will know that what you do means somethingand that your community is a little bit better place because you have contributed.

Building a large, exponentially growing network is not easyits not supposed to be. It is simple, however. If you are coachable and persistent; if you really believe in yourself, and are willing to follow a step-by-step systemyou really can achieve massive, lasting success in Network Marketing.

You wont do it with cold calls, Spamming and those other irritating techniques we talked about earlier. You do it with solid marketing, following a system that others can duplicate, and running your business in an honest, straightforward way.

What a System Looks Like ...

Your system should completely delineate and spell out the entire process that a distributor will follow: from where to find prospects, how to approach them, how to sponsor them, and how to train them to reach the higher pin ranks. (For the sake of simplicity and your understandingI use the term pin ranks to mean people who reach the top levels of your compensation plan, whether theyre called Diamond Directors, National Vice Presidents or Master Coordinators. The name comes from the fact that distributors receive a pin upon achieving these ranks.) Each stage in this process should be clearly defined and taught to the distributor at the appropriate time.

Heres a breakdown of the steps that might be included in a system. This is not meant to be the be-all, end-all. If fact, your system may be quite different. I offer this example, so you can see the kind of structure Im talking about.

Step One The Pre-Approach ...

This is the qualification step the one that determines whether you have a suspect or an actual prospect. This can be done simply with qualifying questions, or qualifying questions combined with a pre-approach packet. This packet would include materials designed to screen out people who are not good candidates for the business. (An example is my Lifestyle Freedom Pack.) Pre-approach means before the approach. In other words, this step will determine whether or not you would approach them about the opportunity at all.

Another way to do this is with a brief, mini presentation. This is a quick overview, usually 30 minutes or less, to see if your candidate is a serious prospect. This is usually done one-on-one in a non-threatening environment (example: in the prospects kitchen or at a coffee shop). When you first begin, this should be done as a two-on-one, meaning you and your sponsor together presenting to your prospect. This can also be done in a small group meeting in your living room.

The interested prospects would be given a specific set of materials to study, usually called a take home packet. This packet would have a break down of how money is made in the business and some supporting materials on the products, usually a brochure or catalog.

Step Two The Presentation ...

This is where the prospect takes a second look at the presentation, usually at a larger home or hotel meeting, but it can also be done one-on-one. Like all steps, there should be a clearly defined set of specific materials (the Follow-up Packet), which should be given to the prospect. This is usually more detailed information than the previous packet.

Step Three The Follow Up ...

This step might involve getting the prospect to another, bigger presentation (like a large hotel open meeting) or simply bringing one more packet of information to the prospect and encouraging them to make a decision. Check with your sponsorship line. In either event, the packet of information and the procedures followed should be exactly the same for every distributor on every level.

Step Four The Enrollment Process ...

This is the step that falls after the prospect nods and is ready to become a distributor. NOTE: This can happen at step two, or step three. Each prospect lands at his or her own speed. Its important that whether or not a prospect poises to join at step two (thats great!) you still expose them to the information in step three to preserve the integrity of the system.

Like our other steps, the enrollment process should be completely translated, step-by-step. The training that you receive should be the same, exact training that someone on your 25th level, five states away, will receive when joining your organization. (See my Learn more training materials).

These four steps are the foundation for your system. Whatever which program youre in, it should generally parallel this process. Again, though, check with your sponsorship line for specifics. The later steps of red tape will vary more greatly from program to program. They involve managing organizational growth and developing leadership skills. (I explore them more deeply in the Building Depth and Leadership Strategies chapters of my book.).

Overall, however, visualize a system as a complete, step-by-step process that anyone who joins your organization whether theyre a doctor or waitress, Ph.D., or high school dropout can duplicate. It means you should have the opportunity to fly to a city 3,000 miles away hire someone on your 50th level that youve never met and be teaching the same principles and specifics theyve been being informed the person whos on your 49th level.

Youll notice this doesn't involve one of the dishonest and obnoxious practices we discussed earlier. Your system should focus on identifying qualified prospects, educating them, and allowing them to make the right decision for them. A lot of people ask me how this variety of system works today, in a more competitive environment. The answer is, better than ever! In fact, prospects today are so jaded today, so assaulted, consequently skeptical, they are completely switched off by the high-pressure techniques. The kind of honest, easy marketing were speaking of is very attractive to them.