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#oooon another note im gonna buy some shit today it seems.
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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I hate when you sit wrong accidently and like 5-10 minutes later your body just starts screaming at you.
Like. Use your indoor voice. Gosh.
#diary#personal#oooon another note im gonna buy some shit today it seems.#i have birthday money and i calculated how much money i should be getting from my job n shit#so i think i wont get too stressed about dropping far too much money yet again...#i just have a lot of things i need and want!!!!#im gonna get a new binder (i no joke needed one for about 5 or 6 years now)#and im gonna get another weighted blanket. i think ill get one twice the weight of my current one bc i often fold it in half rn#and when i do it feels better than just flat out. itll be 20lbs vs 10lbs#and then i think i need to order more new underwear. its gonna have mushrooms on it lmao!!!#i was gonna also order some new clothing but unfortunately ording all this crap will be like. 500 dollars ;-;#haaaah i hate it. luckily tho with the help of my birthday money i should have more than enough for this when combined with my pay#usually i earn about maybe 400 dollars a month. so i have to be careful about spending. but oh well.#its sorta a good idea to buy these things anyways. in the future ill probably buy more binders tbh. theyre just really fucking costly ones.#its an sensory friendly binder made by an autistic nonbinary person in australia. so should suit me better than the other ones.#i have a really hard time with binders. i can tollerate them but its sorta like having a thorn under your skin.#same is true for all my sensory issues really. i can tollerate them. but as it goes on it becomes infected and bursts.#so if i can eliminate one more thing thatd probably be best.#im trying to be gentler with myself. but its very frustrating.#i have so much i wish to do. but sometime. i cant. and it hurts. and its sad. and it makes me feel overwhelmed.#well either way if i like it yall will probably hear about it. if i like it a lot who knows maybe ill even write a review or something#i really do appreciate the things people make and do for me.#my dad has been making me sandwhiches the last two days. and its very nice. i havent been having as much trouble bc of it#i dont know how to explain it. but food makes me very stressed. i have to plan out what i want and then im generally good.#but if i dont have enough ingredients? i get stuck. and sometimes even cant eat#if im very upset ill even go without eating. because if i were to try id most likely either throw it out or meltdown...#disordered eating#its... something that started in highschool. possibly bc thats when i started having to make my own meals more and more.#haaah. hopefully one day itll be easier to deal with. but im not hopeful. i already deal with it pretty well i think
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