#op 1 i love your huge well thought out massively touching analysis of asphodelpaw and the comic that is so kind :'D i'm very flattered

[barrenclan]

just binge read the entire thing up till the recent update (up till 6 am. Don’t do this) and went nuts looking at things for asphodelpaw bc MM MM I love a well crafted narrative. She reminds me of a character I have as well, whose been affected by generations of trauma, but he deals w it in such an immature, teenager-y way bc well. He is. And so was she. She lashed out at Pinepaw bc she desperately wanted approval, some kind of warm reception from an authority figure, and bc her mother has been so distant, she didn’t seek it from her, instead she looked to her mentor Plumstripe (who, admittedly in very nature of being a mentor, had assumed not just an authority role, but a familiar one, one that was supposed to be close, like family.) and Plumstripe, having internalized the cruelty and generations long self inflicted torture Barrenclan does, began to pass down not just that, but the feelings dredged by a splintered relationship w her sister and family. Plumstripe, who validated her own feelings by passing them down and seeing them repeated. And Asphodelpaw so desperate to be close, to be useful, to feel valuable, gave her everything. And yet none of it was enough. (I noticed that while she didn’t try pursuing Cormorantpaw like Daffodilpaw did, she seemed to try and make up for that by needling her brother, something that Plumstripe, from her constant fights w her sister amd the laugh she gave upon actually being there for some of the sniping, clearly liked. At least to try and catch up w Beenose, who was seen being smug abt Daffodilpaw trying to get Cornorantoaw to open up.) And as time went on, the burden of loneliness, frustration, and despair cracked the walls and mask she had built. And the biggest crack came from Slugpelt trying to reconcile w her children, and Pinepaw coming out and trusting his family w that vulnerable secret. Something that shook her enough that she couldn’t help but look inward, to see that she was unhappy, to look outward, and see that the place and people she had looked up to so blindly were hurting her. And she made the right choice, something that speaks so much abt her character. She didn’t withdraw deeper into herself or double down on this performance for the clan she’d been doing, she said “wait, this is wrong. It shouldn’t be like this. And I have the power to change that.” And she HAULED ASS. She went to Egrettail for advice on her feelings of isolation from the culture and pressure the clans have toward she-cats, and finding her footing in her identity that she had grasped for but never realized she could reach until now. She went to Pinepaw and apologized, something that’s surprisingly hard to do, ESPECIALLY for a kid. Her character arc had hit a new track, and she was building a new, authentic confidence. And then all at once she died. And now she’ll be frozen there, never completing her journey, haunting the world she was ripped from. It’s AWFUL (<- said w a smile) I love deeply flawed characters, they’re just so real. Kind hearted and well-meaning characters like Pinepaw are great too, but to me there’s something so visceral abt characters that do the immature things, the selfish things, etc.

You’ve crafted a very interesting story here, with lots of little lore tidbits that make the world feel so much more real, and you’ve backed it up w characters and narrative w so much passion and thought. You care, not just about the story and characters you are writing, but the narrative it presents, the reaches it has. Thoughtfulness is one of the marks of a good writer, and you’ve got lots of it here. Thanks for making such a cool story. If you ever finish the human version, I think you’d have a solid chance at getting it published as an actual book. But if that’s not something you want, please be proud of your hard work and remember to sit back and admire it sometimes.

Thank you both for your very kind words on completely opposite ends of the spectrum.