#or at least lick my wounds til they become scars

[funeralprocessor]

.

[nightingaelic]

Not a good idea, maybe, but still... NV Followers' reaction to how the Courier tells the follower that sometimes all their adventures seem like a kind of deathbed dream to them (a bullet in the head after all...)

Just know, anon, that I am strongly resisting the urge to go full Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara with every single one of these reactions.

"Maybe this is all just... me." The courier waved their hand through the scorching air, tracing the shimmering line of the horizon that sang false promises of water. "A mirage. An oasis in the desert that I can't quite reach, but my eyes keep telling me is there if I just walk far enough."

Their hand went to the scar on their forehead. "I don't know. The things I've seen, since Goodsprings... if I told them to half the people in the Mojave, they'd toss me in the same shack as No-bark. HELIOS One? The Burned Man, in the crispy flesh? Jason Bright and his followers? Hell, the Sierra Madre? How do I know I didn't actually bite the dust in that graveyard, and all of this is the work of the bullet Benny put in my noggin?"

Arcade Gannon: "I guess there isn't a very convincing way I can answer that question," Arcade admitted. "But the fact that I know exactly how close you came to dying could be some evidence to the contrary. I doubt you were walking around with much medical knowledge about cranial vulnus sclopetarium prior to encountering it firsthand."

The courier looked somewhat interested, so the researcher continued hesitantly. "Did that doctor who checked you out not explain what happened to your brain? It's honestly a miracle that you're still walking around."

"I might've been a little preoccupied with the shock of being awake," the courier admitted. "Here, show me."

They guided Arcade's hand to the wound site, which he felt gingerly, trying not to awaken any pain. "Okay, close, very close range, left side... trajectory was too high, so it missed the speech center... probably sustained the most damage in the frontal and parietal lobes... well that tracks, that would affect problem-solving skills and spatial relationships..."

"Arcade?"

"Mm-hm?"

The courier grinned. "Just keep talking to me in Latin and I'll stop caring whether I'm dead or not. It sounds nice."

Arcade blushed.

Craig Boone: "Mmm." Boone pondered the thought, but immediately felt the shadow of guilt fall over his shoulders. Had any of his targets felt that way as they lay dying? Had Carla? He tried to shake the feeling off before it reached his face.

The courier, for their part, didn't notice, or at least knew enough to pretend not to notice. "That snake Benny was using a handgun, too, and who knows what caliber," they said, looking off into the distance.

"Low," Boone offered.

"Come again?"

"The bullet," Boone clarified. "It's still in your head. Slow and small caliber, if you're not already dead from it."

"But I could already be dead from it."

"Nah."

The courier looked as though they wanted to probe further, but Boone straightened his sunglasses and walked past them, signaling that the conversation was over. Headshot wounds, hypotheticals, they weren't his strong suit, but he did know one thing: The orders he had followed and the lives he had ended were far too real to be the figment of some Mojave wastelander's imagination.

Lily Bowen: "Come now, dearie, you're giving your imagination too much credit." Lily patted the courier lightly on the shoulder. Well, as lightly as a nightkin could. "Grandma's seen many strange things too, ever since she left the vault behind."

The courier smiled. "Stranger than the ones I've seen? Like what?"

Lily made an ugly face. "I saw many things when working for the Master. Golden geckos in Klamath. Ghosts in Baja. The Master himself, with his brain in the computers and the computers in his brain."

"Eugh." The courier mimicked the face Lily was making. "One of those, huh? Always seemed unsanitary to me."

"Good things too," Lily went on wistfully. "I saw Marcus' first city, when it was big and full of people. Humans, but also super mutants, ghouls. How I would have liked to take Becky and Jimmy there."

Her voice faltered a little, remembering the grandchildren that had been lost, left behind long ago. The courier reached out and took her hand. "I'm here, Lily."

After the memory passed, Lily returned to her smiling self. "You are, pumpkin. We're here together."

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "I know how you feel, boss." Raul sighed. "There are plenty of things in my past that I can't help but question the authenticity of. All I can say is that after a while, you stop asking and just go along for the ride."

"Right." The courier crossed their arms. "I suppose it's not that different a mindset from becoming a ghoul. Time stretching on in front of you, no clear end in sight, no expectation there will ever be one."

"Eh." Raul shrugged. "That might just be a mindset of mine. I stopped worrying about dying a long time ago. Or maybe I was looking for it, but never managed to find it. Either way, time doesn't bother me the way it used to."

"But it still does?"

"Sí. Now I worry more that I'll forget the crazy things I've seen altogether, or that they don't mean anything."

The young courier looked like they weren't quite ready to ponder that possibility. They stood together in silence for a while, watching the horizon's haze.

"Should we keep going?" the courier finally asked, shouldering their pack.

"Desde luego."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "Sometimes I wonder the same thing," Cass replied with a nod. "Well, not the exact same thing, but somethin' similar. Plenty of times in my life, I've woken up in someone else's bed or on the floor of a bar and wondered if I actually survived the fight I was in the night before, or if I finally drank enough to make my heart stop. It's a strange feeling, but then someone douses me in water or slaps me too hard on the ass and the pain of the wakin' world creeps back in, little by little."

"Do you slap them back?" the courier joked, chuckling.

"Them and the world," Cass confirmed. "I always figured if I'd actually died in my sleep, why bother makin' up some desert full of sadness and sunburns to fill my time? Had enough of that in life, so I can't see my mind keepin' it around. Much rather conjure up a house by the beach somewhere, with a basement full of caps and enough booze to last me 'til the bombs fall again."

The courier eyed her mischievously. "Maybe you're in hell."

Cass held her canteen up. "Well then. To bein' stuck in hell with a true friend."

She drank, long and deep, and the courier retrieved their canteen to do the same.

Veronica Santangelo: "Oh, Six." Veronica's face filled with sympathy. "Is that really what you think about, when you're trying to sleep at night in the casino and Cass is snoring in the bed next to you?"

The courier blinked. "Cass snores?"

"How have you not noticed?" Veronica pulled her power fist off and flexed her fingers, re-stimulating her circulation as best she could. "Arcade said he wanted to trade with me, after Boone had his second night terror incident, but he changed his mind again after one night of her racket. At this point, I'm used to it. When she's not around, I have trouble sleeping, can you believe that? Brotherhood bunks really prepared me for the Lucky 38."

"No, I hadn't noticed." The courier sat down on a nearby rock and stretched their legs out. "I guess I haven't been there much, lately."

Veronica sat down next to them. "You know, the more often you're gone having adventures around the desert, the more crazy things you're going to see. People who rest on their laurels and stick to the Strip don't lie awake wondering if they actually died back when they choked on those buffalo gourd seeds at The Gourmand."

"Touché."

ED-E: The eyebot let out a few beeps of disagreement and rolled from side to side in mid-air, indicating as best it could that in its experience, being shot in the dome was a good method for scrambling circuitry but was actually terrible for fusing new connections. The courier laughed and reached out to rub the robot's side. "Thanks, buddy. Maybe I'm right, or maybe reality is just a weird place."

ED-E beeped its satisfaction and bounced forward as if chasing the mirage. The courier trailed after the eyebot, their giggles blowing out with the wind into the desert for all to hear.

Rex: The old cyberdog whined and licked its companion's hand, uncertain what they were asking. Any dreams the canine had were good ones, long runs over grassy plains and prey that was always a hair too slow. Life with the courier was good too, but full of many more dangers than a savannah dotted with rabbits and deer. The courier scratched the dog on his ruff affectionately, before continuing over the hot sand toward their destination. Rex followed behind, happy and panting.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Die For You

Pairing | Deacon Frost x reader

Summary | you are one of his familiars, a human. He hates humans, but not you, you he has a significant sweet spot for, he’d do anything to keep you content within your little life.

Warnings | blood, drinking blood because vampires, finger sucking, fluff, mentions of death,

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

A cold doubt brewed in the bottom of his irises, as he slowly, and uncertainly plodded into your shared premises. You were shaking; and reeked of fear, as though it were what you had bathed your apparel in. To him, you were supposed to be nothing more than a familiar, a human that did his dark bidding.

But unlike the others, you were a secret trophy. He saw you as a prize possession, whilst all the others were simply expendable. Instead of having a thirst to become like him, your aim was to blend in with their ranks, and earn a shield of protection from the world outside.

And that aspect reminded himself a little of his past humanity; that man who had once been so naive and fearful of the world, long before he had discovered the existence of his current species. He stalked through the front door of your apartment, closing it quietly behind him, noticing how small tea candles were littered throughout the short hallway.

They smelt like roses; cheesy he’d admit, but the scent felt right as he breathed it in as he stalked through your premises, and found his way to the kitchen, watching from behind as you chopped a tomato, a hiss soon leaving your mouth as you discarded the knife upon the chopping brought, grabbing your finger with yo or opposing hand.

He knew what you had done, the aroma of your blood invading his senses as the red wine drizzled out of the small wound, encouraging him to make his way closer to your intoxicating silhouette, standing behind you as a shadow, before bracing his cold and pale hands upon your elbows.

The contact was one that made you jump, becoming fearful in your own skin, before you had realised whom had made contact with you. Once you saw those frozen, signature Frost blue irises, you instantly calmed, sinking back into his grip, as a small and rare smile cast itself upon his dead lips.

“Let me see.” He encouraged, taking your hand in his own hold as you slowly revealed your right and split finger to him, feeling his hungry pupils watching the minuscule pool of blood rise over your skin. He gave it a little squeeze to test how much had yet to exit from the small slip, relieved that there was only small dribbles. “It’s okay.”

Deacon raised your index, dragging it up and towards his mouth, putting it inside as he suckled upon the red temporary scar, humming gently at the ambience your blood showcased as it danced for a moment upon his tongue, before sliding down his venomous throat.

It was practically impossible, a slither of a moan surpassed the proximity behind your teeth, your eyes instantly widening as you realised the sound that you had made. Hesitantly, Frost audibly popped your digit out of his mouth, giving it a sweet peck as he gazed solely at you.

For a moment, your mind had gone blank, but now since he was no longer drinking from you, you had regained some sense. You had been cooking dinner, and then, the vampire that practically owned you showed up... you worried as to why he had tended you with his presence now, was something wrong, was Blade currently on his vengeful tail?

“Why are you here, if you don’t mind me asking?” You gulped, watching as the man licked his lips, swiping any remnants of your vein coursing rosé that had stained the bottom like a layer of watercolour paint, from his smooth and attractive skin.

“I needed to make sure you were okay.” Deacon admitted, reaching his palm up to brush against you cheek, gently as though he thought you were fragile, and to him, you were. He tainted everything he touched, except from you, whom remained the image of mortal perfection.

“The vampire slayer on your ass?” It was the usual, or at least the excuse he most often used, a guilt nod from the man before you sufficed your answer. “You need to be more careful D.”

“And you need to get out of town for what is to come sweetheart, I can’t let anything happen to you. He’s killing, and I will not have you upon the piles of bodies that he is raking up.” A frown crossed your face, as you swept his hand away, softly as to not make him think you were rejecting his affections.

“I’m your familiar, I’m supposed to remain by your side. Abandoning you and the cause won’t help either of us blend in, instead it’ll make us both vulnerable.” You spoke urgently, confused as to why he was saying all this now.

“Trust me darling, I don’t want to send you away, but it’s the only way that I can ensure that you remain alive and safe.” He responded, his lips pursed in thought as he brushed the hair that fell in your face back, stroking your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “Pack a bag, only what you need, and be gone by morning.”

“Deacon.” Perhaps it was stupid to attempt to reason with a vampire, but you were doing so anyway. “I’m human. It doesn’t matter if I die, you want to kill us all off, and you know I’m not against that. I’d rather die here with you than the next city over, and if I am to be the food for the blood god, then so be it. What happens will happen.” A soft shrug ran over your shoulders as Deacon removed all contact with you, shaking his head.

“It does! I care if you die y/n! You’re the last bit of humanity I have, and in will not have that damned slayer use you to get to me, nor allow the god to drink you til your dry. I’d turn you before all that, I cannot lose you.” His words provoked a freezing of motion within your limbs, shocked by his honest outburst.

Deacon Frost was many things; a killer, a bit of a sadist, a cold blooded liar. He was never honest with anyone, that was up until now. You were practically rendered speechless, mouth gaped open as you stared at the thin man. “Turn me, but isn’t that just a means to an end? It’s used as a lie to coerce humans into doing bidding, an empty promise, one that fills them with hope, and ends in their depths. I’ve never asked for it.”

“Well, I deal with Blade..” a small smile appeared on his face, as he looks down, hardly believing that he was doing this. “I want you by my side for the rest of my life, not as a human slave, but as an eternal lover. Would you give up sunlight for me?”

Breaths escaped from your mouth as you thought, long and hard for a answer. You’d be nothing more than a bag of flammable bones if he ever bit you, awaiting to be set aflame whilst you caused destruction and flashed your pointed teeth at the chaotic scene.

“For you, I’d do anything. I have done anything...” you blinked, watching as Deacon once more moved closer, gripping your chin, and dragging your mouth towards his. Just before your lips connected, he paused, sending air upon your face.

“It will be the other way around when this is all over. We will reign, like a brewing storm, masked in a thin disguise of our flesh, holding each other close, running from the weapons hurtled towards us, and speeding though life together.” He then proceeded to press his mouth against your own, uttering another pleasant moan out of your mouth.

Your eyes fluttered closed as you grilled the back of his shirt, dragging your bleeding finger, which you had forgotten all about, up the navy material, your other hand grasping his shaggy hair. He would die for you, and you’d do the same for him, that as nerve wrecking as it was, felt somewhat comfortable. Familiar.

[rogue-barnes-16]

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

Suggested prompt: Ari is sent on a new mission with the reader... They have history together.

Pairing: Ari Levinson x reader

Genre: angst-ish

Tags:

Suggested by: @writerwithfluffysocks @ari-levinson

Ari Levinson: @capsiclesdoll

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, shooting, mentions of wounds

A/N: here it goes my first Ari Levinson x reader fic, hope you enjoy darlings <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

"Miss Y/l/n!" Little tugs on my hand made me turn around redirecting my attention to the little girl besides me who seemed to be craving it.

"What's it, Shira?" I questioned, bending the knee to be eye to eye with the kid.

"That man." She pointed at the opposite side of the room, where the open door communicated the class with the outside. "He says he wants to talk with you."

I spun my head to meet Ethan's eyes. "Shit." He gave me a smile, leaning against the wooden door frame. "Thank you, Shira." I flashed a smile at the kid and stood up.

"Y/n" he motioned at the kids, currently playing. "I see you didn't waste your time."

"why are you here, Ethan?"

His eyes shifted to mine. "Your vacations are over. You have a mission."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes were fixed on the view I had through my window the whole drive in that shitty pickup truck.

When Ethan wouldn't give away the name of my partner, I suspected something was off, so I couldn't say that I had been entirely surprised to see Ari's face in the airport.

"Didn't know he'd send you." Ari attempted to break the ice, although it wasn't an easy task.

"I didn't know you were the partner." We stayed in a new kind of silence that turned out to be way more uncomfortable than the first one. "Where's Sammy?"

He cleared his throat. "He left." his statement made me look at him for the first time since we left the airport. "Apparently, I'm fucking reckless, an asshole, and never have a plan."

"He ain't lying." I commented, leaning against the backrest. "Oh c'mon!" I exclaimed, acknowledging the anger in his eyes when he spared me a glare. "Y'know it's true, that's why you're mad."

He let out a humorless laugh, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. "Fuck y'know me so well, don't you?" Sarcasm dripped from his tongue as if it was poison.

I rolled my eyes, aware that starting a fight wouldn't help us at all. "Where are we staying?"

"Why?"

"Ethan mentioned you'd been compromised."

"A friend got us a room." he informed me, taking a turn to the left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at the hotel room, and not many words were exchanged during the daytime, but when the sun fell, we had no option but to talk, since we had to discuss the plan he had.

Or more likely, the plan that he didn't have.

"No" I shook my head no, sat on the crappy hotel bed. "That's not a solid plan. That's not even a fucking plan."

"What the hell do you mean?" he questioned, offended. "it worked 'til now." a tilt of his head accompanied his statement. "I'd say it's a good plan."

I buried my face on my palms, bending forward. "Okay, first off," I looked up at him again. "If it had worked til now, I'm sure Sammy wouldn't have left, and wouldn't be here. And second" he slightly shifted his posture, letting himself rest against the wall. "I'd say it's a shitty strategy, but got lucky."

"I don't see the problem." he replied, shrugging.

"yeah well I do." he clenched his jaw and I let out a exasperated sigh. "Ari, you've been compromised thanks to your 'plan', and you don't wanna change it."

"It's not the first time this happens, and-"

"Yeah, that's the fuckin' problem!" I raised my voice, hopping off the bed. "you keep doing this, and it always ends with your life on the line" he attempted to interrupt me but I kept throwing my tantrum. "and you drag everyone with you!"

He pushed himself off the wall, a frown formed in his face. "is this 'cause of Tangier? Because that one ain't on me, it's on you. You got in the way when Rachel warned not to."

"First of all, what the fuck?" my voice was now low, shocked that he pulled that card after what had happened in that city, not just the great disaster that his plan turned out to be, but also what we had had there. "it doesn't matter. Tangier, Khartoum, or any other mission, it's always the same, and I'm not willing to die for you." Not anymore, I thought. "so right fucking now, tell me we're changing that fuckin' shit to an actual plan."

He knew I was right, but he wouldn't say it. "it's late," he grunted, unbuttoning his shirt without sparing me a single look. "let's just go to sleep."

Exhaling, I grabbed a tank top and shorts from my bag and started to change my clothes.

Once I was done, I climbed on the bed and lay down, ready to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I huffed, running my hands over my face.

Sleeping had become an impossible task, because damn, it was fucking hot in that tiny room, and I was sweating.

I sat on the bed, careful not to wake Ari, who seemed to have accomplished the goal that I had been chasing for at least a couple of hours.

I got rid of the shorts and, right after having pulled my tank top over my head, I felt a shift on the mattress before Ari's digits ghosted over the scar on my back. "this should've been on my chest."

The scar left there by an asshole's gun who had been aiming at Ari; the scar that worked as a reminder of what had exactly triggered the disaster in Tangier.

"I'm sorry." his thumb traced the line that remained there after Sammy's improvised sewing. "Don't know why the fuck I said that. You're right, I always drag people down with me." his fingers lingered on my skin just for a moment before he retreated his hand.

I breathed out. "it was the heat of the moment." When he didn't say anything, I turned around. "you okay?"

He gave me a lazy nod, his eyes lost somewhere in his darkest memories. "I really am a fucking asshole, and I never learn."

"You're kind of an ass." I agreed as he closed his eyes. "and you never learn, but you get shit done better than anyone. And" I poked his chest, making him open one eye. "you got a great heart, so don't torture yourself that much 'kay?"

He opened his eyes again, this time with a half smile. "I missed you, Y/n."

I mirrored his expression and held back the 'I missed you too' that I so badly wanted to say. "Alright, Levinson."

His smile grew wider, and the ghosts that had been chasing his blue eyes transformed into the happiness that used to show up in his pupils whenever I smiled. The only difference was that now, that happiness was stained with regret and melancholy. "Sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I hadn't fucked up." his eyes got lost again. "Wish things were different."

I pursed my lips, stopping myself from saying that I did too often wondered about what we could have been if things hadn't gotten in the way.

That I wondered if we would have been happy together.

I let myself fall besides him. "alright, go to sleep, 'cause tomorrow we gotta sort a shit ton of stuff out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everyone move to the back, now!" I shouted, helping the people we were helping to climb to the truck. "c'mon c'mon c'mon!"

I heard shotguns closer and closer, and when I turned around, I saw Ari sprinting towards us with a girl in his arms.

"fuckin' shit." I muttered, jogging to him to lend a hand. "Holy fuck. Holy fuck." I cursed, seeing the Jeep driving in our direction.

I pulled out my gun and started to shoot. "Get inside!" Ari shouted, almost throwing the girl into the truck before tugging wrapping his hands around my waist, sweeping me off my feet and pushing me to the front of the truck at the same time as he shielded me, just in case the bullets reached us. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

I jumped inside and tugged him with me, starting the engine while he was sitting up properly. "Get us the hell out of here!"

We took off, following the route that we had carefully traced five days ago; a route perfect for us to lose the Jeep that was right behind us.

It took us around half an hour, but it worked.

Ari stopped the truck once we were safe and, as I let myself fall against the backrest, he rested his forehead against the steering wheel.

"we did it." I spoke, a little surprised.

"we did it." he repeated pulling himself up to mimic my posture.

His eyes were trained on mines and vice-versa.

Our breathing was heavy and ragged as we both dug our eyes into one another's with a feeling that wasn't easy to fight in this conditions; a feeling that I thought had been long forgotten.

His gaze flickered to my lips for a second and, when I subconsciously licked them, he gulped "I need air." he grunted, kicking the door open before climbing off the truck.

I didn't think twice before jumping off the truck and stalking to were he was now standing.

Before he could say a word, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss which, as soon as he reciprocated it, became rough and needy.

His hands gripped my hips, pulling me as close as possible as we desperately devoured each other's lips as if they were water in the dessert; as if they were the air we breathed.

I pulled apart only when it was completely necessary for us to breath. "I missed you too." I whispered, letting him kiss my lips once more. "and I wish things were different."

"let's make things different." he replied, stealing one more kiss without letting go of me. "please, Y/n, let's make things different" he rested his forehead against mine, heavily breathing. " 'cause life's hell without you."

I nodded, kissing his lips, this time tenderly. "let's do it." his hands went up and down my sides at the same time as mines help in place the strands of his hair that tingled my face. "but let's finish this job first."

He nodded, a beautiful smile making tugging the corners of his lips at the promise of an 'us'.