#or at least their anti-outlander sentiment

[nyaskitten]

Imperium is... interesting. Obviously Ninjago is NEVER known for going super in-depth in its commentary on things that are inherently wrong (like Vangelis' slavery) and while it doesn't do like a super deep dive into the inner-workings of Beatrix's fascist empire, it goes far enough to showcase Beatrix's rule as inherently wrong. One of her broadcasts literally says shit about not wanting cultures of previously separate realms to "clash" with those of Imperium.

Another interesting thing to note is I went back to the flashback segments of episode 18, and it seems while Imperium was far better back then, Levo's rule of the kingdom was also... kinda oppresive, he wasn't the pure noble ruler to precede Beatrix that most shows probably would have him be.

It could just be left at "model reusage" but at no point does a single Imperium citizen in these flashbacks wear anything BUT the standard Imperium clothing. However, we also do NOT see any of the job-indication tattoos on any of their faces. That means in-universe the Imperium dress code was likely made long before Beatrix, possibly even before Levo as well.

One other thing in relation to Levo and how he was also possibly a kind of bad person is how he calls Ras an outlander. He says "What could an outlander such as you do about it?" In a VERY clearly malicious way, which even gets Zeatrix to turn her head and kinda side-eye him, kinda raising an eyebrow. For her to react like that means she probably has not seen/witnessed her father talk to ANYONE like that before. It's probably not commonplace in olden Imperium to hold, or at least openly share, such potentially hateful values.

[let-the-dream-begin]

Sins of the Flesh: Chapter 1

Prologue

Read on AO3

Edinburgh, 1850

Jamie rolled his eyes as he left the print shop, trying to drown out Geordie’s droning voice, still audible even after he shut the door. He straightened his cap and adjusted his hand on the leather bag he had strapped over his shoulder. He could have laughed; if his sister knew she’d sent him away from the farm for a printing apprenticeship only to begin distributing seditious pamphlets on the side, she’d smack him silly.

A hundred years had gone by since the rising that his great-grandfather was killed in, and still he wouldn’t rest until the English were out of his country, never to set foot on his land again. He’d be Laird Broch Tuarach if not for the massacre of Culloden. And instead he was working a printing press, miles from home, while his sister and her crippled husband fended for themselves.

The anger in his heart would not soon fade, if ever.

His first stop was the baker, then the bookshop, then the butcher. All loyal readers of anti-English sentiment. He passed the pamphlets over folded in books, hidden under blankets in baskets that he’d ask to be filled with bread or meat. Jamie’s slight of hand had gotten better and better over the years. He made jovial, coded conversation while others went about their day, blissfully unaware.

It all gave him a strange thrill.

The apothecary was next on his list of traitors. He tipped his hat at the smitten lasses that waved at him, winked at wee laddies darting through the streets. He pushed the door open and the bell jingled. There was a woman standing at the counter in a striking, deep emerald green dress, pagoda sleeves revealing black gloves, neckline all the way up to her hairline, where a bonnet began. Hanging off her left wrist was a black parasol, matching her gloves. This woman could not possibly have been native to Edinburgh, or perhaps to Scotland at all. She was speaking quietly to the man behind the counter, a basket in front of her that she intended to have filled. Upon hearing her voice, he was made even more certain that she was an outlander. She spoke like a Sassenach.

“Ah! Mister Fraser!” The man waved jovially. “I’ll be with you shortly. Allow me to fill the lady’s order.” He gave a bow of his head to the woman, and she curtsied softly.

He could see not an inch of her skin, at least not from behind, but there was something elegant in the way she carried herself.

“Thank you, Sir.”

God, her voice was like honey.

Her head turned, and Jamie fought the urge to stare. A black veil was attached to the front of her bonnet, covering her face. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, and was immediately struck by her eyes. They were honey as well, literally, in color. And they seemed to glow, shining through the black lace as if it was not there.

“Mistress.” Jamie bowed deeply, removing his hat. He stared at his feet for several seconds, his heart pounding.

Christ, she was beautiful.

Even through the veil he could tell. She was sculpted like fine china, a delicate brow over those haunting, enchanted eyes, lips full and pink. He peered up hesitantly, and the woman curtsied in return.

“Does something ail you?”

Jamie blinked up at her, still in his ridiculous bow. “Pardon?”

“Are you ill? Or hurt? Or someone you know?”

Jamie stood up, nearly dropping his basket of bread and meat.

“Oh. Oh, aye.” He’d nearly lost his head for a moment, completely forgetting what shop they were in. “My stomach ails me at times.”

“It’s recurring?”

“Um, aye. Sometimes.”

“Have you come for peppermint tea?”

“Ehm...I wasna sure what I’d come for, to be candid.”

“You’ve had no relief from this pain at all?”

“Nah. Come fer it today.”

“I see. Well you should ask for peppermint tea.” She nodded curtly. “If it’s a flatulence issue that could help. But if it’s anything more serious I’d need to examine you.”

Jamie’s throat ran dry, and he felt his eyes bug out of his head. “Pardon me?”

The woman actually laughed, rather giggled at him. An enchanting sound. “Forgive me,” she said, still laughing. “I failed to introduce myself. I am Lady Grey.”

Jamie’s heart sank. She was someone’s Lady, and he had no right for that to disappoint him. He was likely more than far beneath her station at any rate. She seemed far too fine for this tiny shop, for all of Edinburgh.

“James Fraser.” He bowed his head. “Pleasure to meet you, My Lady.”

“The pleasure is mine, Sir. In any case, I’m a healer. I can help you if you need it. Is your pain ever accompanied with fever?”

“Uh, no,” he said quickly. It would soon become very difficult to keep inventing symptoms if she continued this line of questioning.

“Any lumps or swelling in the abdomen?”

“No.”

“Is it sharp or dull?”

“Rather, ehm, dull.”

“Alright. Likely just flatulence, then.”

The shop owner returned then with a small bundle that he placed in the Lady’s basket. She pulled a coin purse from her skirts and paid the man. It was then that it occurred to Jamie that perhaps she was no one’s Lady at all. The black, the gloves, the veil…

“Are ye in mourning, Mistress?”

She dropped the coin in the shop owner’s hand and looked at him sharply.

“If I was?”

“My apologies,” Jamie stammered. “That was beastly rude of me, My Lady. Please forgive me.”

“Why do you want to know, Mister Fraser? What would you say if I told you I was?”

Jamie gulped painfully. ���I’d...I’d offer my condolences. Most heartfelt,” he said. “And I’d pray for peace to your weary heart.”

Her face changed imperceptibly, one delicate brow arching. “Anything else?”

He blinked dumbly, his mouth agape before he had the sense to snap it shut. Was she...provoking him? Inviting him?

“I...I’m not sure I understand, My Lady.”

She let out another giggle, this one sounding more like a hum. “Such a funny boy.”

He had no idea why those words felt like a blow to the gut, substantiating the stomach pains he’d just falsified. How old could she have been, smooth as porcelain, to think him none but a silly lad?

And yet, he could not disagree with her. He was acting like an utter moron, had been since he’d laid eyes on her.

It was as if the damnable woman had put a spell on him.

She lifted her basket and turned away from the counter, thanking the shopkeeper. “Remember, peppermint tea.”

“Aye, My Lady. Thank you.”

“Where do you live? I’d like to check on you next week, make sure it’s working. If it doesn’t, you likely have bigger problems.”

“Ehm…”

“Out with it, please, I have other patients.”

“The print shop,” he stammered, almost against his own will.

“Good. Next Tuesday?”

“A-aye, Mistress.”

She brushed past him, and he caught a whiff of something herbal, earthy, floral, and intoxicating as she did.

“And you’ll do well to separate your raw meats and cooked bread,” she said, a hint of scolding in her voice as she eyed his basket with nothing short of disgust. “That may even very well be what has you ill.”

“Aye, Mistress.”

“Good day, Mister Fraser.”

“G’day.”

And with a jingle of a bell and the snap of her black parasol, she was gone.

Jamie blinked in utter bewilderment; he’d never accidentally become somebody’s patient before.

The shopkeeper chuckled, and Jamie snapped out of his reverie, having followed her down the street with his eyes.

“Smitten wi’ the elusive Lady Grey, are ye, laddie?”

Jamie chose not to answer, placing his basket on the counter.

“She’s been here before?”

“Only once, last week,” the shopkeeper explained, taking the basket behind the counter and effortlessly slipping the seditious pamphlet out from under the goods and into the sleeve of his coat. “Seems to me she’s just arrived and will be here at least once a week to replenish supplies for her patients.” He rolled his eyes at the word.

“What? Ye doubt her abilities?”

“She told me she studied healing in the East,” he said. “Sounds like hokum to me.”

Jamie said nothing.

“If yer next question relates to her husband, I canna answer.” The man shrugged. “She was dressed near the same last week. She speaks o’ him as if he lives, but dresses as if he doesna.”

Jamie nodded. “None o’ my business anyway.”

The man snorted. “No, it isna. A farmboy wi’ ink on his face has no business ogling after a gem like that.”

Jamie felt himself flush head to toe, swiping at his face stupidly, not at all sure where said ink was on his face. The man laughed, not cruelly, and leaned over the counter to slap Jamie on the back.

“Dinna fash, laddie. Every man’s got to make a fool of himself to a lass at some point.”

“Aye,” Jamie cleared his throat. “I suppose.”

And yet, that night, Jamie’s dreams were filled with images of honey eyes and a honeyed tongue.

In the shop, he’d seen stray, wild curls poking out of her bonnet, and in his dreams she removed the bonnet, tossing it away so he could at last see her free of the veil, and wild, untamed curls cascaded past her shoulders. He ran his hands through it, and imagined that was what running his fingers through a heavenly cloud would feel like. She unbuttoned the unreasonably high collar next, and her creamy neck exposed itself to him inch by inch. He wanted to touch her, wanted to touch her everywhere, but her eyes kept him locked in place. They were glowing like candles, burning him below the belt. She slowly peeled off her gloves and tossed them over her shoulder.

Just when her gown lowered to show the swell of her beautiful breast, he awoke.

He was covered in a thick sheen of sweat, and he was hard as a rock.

Damn his dreams for giving him enough to rouse him, yet not enough to finish the job.

Or perhaps damn her. It was almost as if she’d entered his mind and forced those visions on him. The spell her eyes cast on him in the dream felt too real to be entirely dreamt.

He abused himself to the thought of her scolding him in the print shop, the thought of tasting her beautiful lips, the thought of seeing beyond the swell of her breasts, seeing beyond the wide skirt she wore. He’d seen women in states of undress before, but never had they roused him as much as the mere thought of Lady Grey as such.

As he spilled his seed onto his own stomach, he felt shame burn him to his very core.

She could still very well be married to a living man.

But had she not tried to provoke him? Get him to say more about her potential widowhood?

Needless to say, Jamie’s stomach was tied in knots over the inevitable arrival of Lady Grey to his home next Tuesday.

[mewtwowarrior]

Earlier, @writeinspiration was telling me about a tabletop game they were in where everybody had picked one of the Seven Deadly Sins for their characters to add to their backstories, and it got me to thinking about how they were present or not present in Ark’s life.

So, here are character analyses rooted in the Deadly Sins, the Virtues, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Some of these may not quite apply, so I'm interpreting them how I like. I got the lists and information about them from Wikipedia.

Also, some of these may end up being subject to change as I work on Ark more.

-

Seven Deadly Sins

Lust: Wikipedia defines lust as "intense longing" for anything. I don't really think there's anything that Ark really longs after, at least, not in any significant way. She's pretty focused on her job.

In the romantic sense of the word, I'm torn between giving her any kind of love interest and none at all. On the one hand, it'd be pretty cute, on the other hand, it's not really necessary? I'm definitely not completely opposed to it, and may play around with my options. It's something I've been going on back and forth for ages.

Gluttony: Wikipedia defines gluttony as "overindulgence and overconsumption". I don't think there's anything she'd really go overboard with. Maybe if she got worked up over the Games, she might play for longer than she should, but I think that'd be a pretty rare thing.

She definitely wouldn't take way more power than she needs to keep herself running, but might get a little extra for emergencies.

Greed: Wikipedia defines greed as an intense desire to own things. I think I kinda covered most of the greed stuff under gluttony. But, as for owning things, Ark probably doesn't have or need a whole lot. I imagine she's probably got a few things for sentimental value and a few things that she likes, but she's usually too busy and active to stay at home and enjoy her stuff, so she doesn't amass a lot of things.

Sloth: Wikipedia defines sloth as "omitting responsibilities". That's pretty much the exact opposite of Ark. She takes her job (and her programming) very seriously. She works hard, and only on her time off does she relax. Though, I could see her possibly getting sidetracked in the Games or with something else that might end up making her late, but that'd be a very rare occasion.

Wrath: Wikipedia defines wrath as "anger" and "the wish to seek vengeance". That's a tough one. Overall, she doesn't have a whole lot of anger. She might get frustrated with situations or Programs, but she's usually got so much to do that it ends up being mostly forgotten.

However, the seeking vengeance part is a little tricky. When she lives that long, she's determined to do whatever it takes to stop Clu. Which, now that I think about it, I can't help but wonder if part of it is a little bit of a streak of revenge for all the pain and suffering he's caused. I'll have to think on that more.

Envy: Wikipedia defines envy as wanting things someone else has. Overall, Ark's not really envious of most anyone. However, I gotta think she's just a little bit envious that Tron's never lost in the Games. But, I try to write them on friendly terms, so it's probably not something she really thinks about, or it was something she was envious about in the past, but once they became better friends, it didn't matter any more.

Pride: Wikipedia defines pride as "selfishness" and "refusing to acknowledge one's one limits, faults, or wrongs". In the selfishness area, Ark's not terribly selfish, and her programming doesn't exactly allow her to be. However, I can definitely see her refusing to acknowledge her limits. She's good at what she does, so I can see her developing a proud streak where she just doesn't realize that maybe there's some things that she can't do. She probably would apologize quickly for any faults or wrongs, but I could see that maybe in some rare cases, she'd dig in for a little while before finally admitting that she messed up.

Bonus Sins

Acedia/"without care": Wikipedia defines acedia as "depression without joy" and "melancholy". Ark can definitely hit a depressed slump, but she usually can pull herself out of it or just accept what's going to happen.

Vanity: Wikipedia defines vanity as "unjustified boasting". Ark definitely wouldn't exaggerate or boast about things. She would take pride in her job and her wins, but I don't think she'd brag about it too much, maybe just make a passing comment about it.

Seven Virtues

Chastity: Wikipedia defines chastity as "refraining from unreasonable romantic relationships". I covered a lot of this under lust. If Ark did have any romantic relationships, I figure she'd probably be pretty serious about them. If she has had any at all, she's probably just had one or very few of them.

Temperance: Wikipedia defines temperance as "moderation or voluntary self-restraint". Overall, Ark probably does most things in moderation. Though, I can see her maybe end up working too much, or enjoying playing in the Games a little much.

Charity: Wikipedia defines charity as having "two parts: love of God" and love of one's neighbor and one's self". The first part is tricky because of the Users in the Tron universe. She probably doesn't think about Flynn a whole lot, however, she does whatever she can to uphold her programming, so I guess that's kinda like her doing her divine purpose. As for love of her neighbors, she gets along with a lot of Programs, including the ISOs. She does whatever she can to make things right for everybody, she believes that when she was programmed to protect the Grid, that meant everyone on it.

Diligence: Wikipedia defines diligence as "a work ethic". I've covered this in some of the other things, but Ark has a pretty strong work ethic. She works hard to make sure that everyone is safe.

Patience: Wikipedia defines patience as "the ability to endure difficult circumstances". I think for the most part, Ark is pretty patience. Everybody has their buttons, though. And, I think she could get impatient sometimes about trying to stop Clu, but overall, I think she'd be easily able to wait.

Kindness: Wikipedia defines kindness as "acts of generosity, consideration, or concern for others, without having an expectation of praise or reward". Ark embodies kindness greatly both in and out of her job. She doesn't expect praise for anything she does, however, if someone told her what a great job she was doing, she'd gladly accept the praise.

Humility: Wikipedia defines humility as "the quality of being humble" and "a low self-regard and sense of unworthiness". By that definition, Ark's not humble at all. She knows she's good at her job. She wouldn't brag about it, but she has a pretty good self esteem. She doesn't think like super highly of herself or anything and wouldn't brag about it, but she's aware that she's pretty competent.

Bonus Virtues

Prudence: Wikipedia defines prudence as "the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason". Ark is fairly reasonable, but I can see that if she thought something was right, she might dig in, even if it wasn't the best idea.

Justice: Wikipedia defines justice as "the virtue which regulates man in his dealings with others". I think Ark probably embodies justice fairly well, especially because of her job. She tries to do what's right for people, no matter who she's dealing with.

Fortitude: Wikipedia defines fortitude as "brave endurance". Ark is definitely brave, even if she's scared, she faces things as best as she can. She probably also has a lot of endurance, able to keep going past when she probably should - tying into stubbornness.

Faith and Hope: While she does have down moments, overall, Ark has faith that things will eventually start heading towards the better. She never fully gives up, always pulling herself out of her despair to to her best.

Loyalty: Ark is very loyal and won't betray someone, unless they've completely turned.

Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Conquest: Ark doesn't embody conquest, she doesn't fight to obtain anything. (However, if she was brainwashed by Clu, she'd definitely be a tool of conquest.)

War: Ark is fully in on war, be it war against gridbugs and other threats to the system or fighting against Clu. The Games in the Arena might also be considered games of war. Her life is characterized by war in any era.

Famine: If you could characterize famine in the Tron universe as a lack of electronic power, there might be some grounds for it in Ark's life. As a Basic, I think I read that they're confined to the cities, as that's where they draw power from. However, since she's a System Monitor, she might have a little more freedom, if something bad showed up in the Outlands, they'd need Monitors to take care of it. There might also be power outages in the cities, which would definitely cause problems. But, overall, it's not something that's a big focus in Ark's life.

Death: Death wasn't much of a thing in Ark's life until after Clu takes over. There were probably accidents, but I think most Programs survived beforehand. While she wasn't involved in it, the death of all of the ISOs affected her. She wouldn't derezz innocents, but she'd derezz guards and sentries and anyone determined to keep fighting on Clu's side. If she got stuck in the deadly Games, she wouldn't be thrilled or proud about it, but she'd fight to survive. Now, death is a constant presence in her life.

Pestilence: Since Ark fights against computer viruses and bugs, she's an anti-pestilence. (If she got infected or fully turned into a virus, she'd be a spreader of pestilence.)

[zalrb]

Better Late Than Never? Pt. 2 {TVD 8x14 Review}

Sorry this took so long guys! You know the drill, I write everything in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning it probably will be rectified by the end but I already know what happens this epi, so, lol. This will contain anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Bamon, anti-Steroline, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. There will most likely be mentions of other shows and of the misogynoir and anti-blackness and racism in this narrative. If you do not like it, do not read. OK, ready? Let’s go!

1. “If you want my forgiveness, you’re going to bring Elena Gilbert back to life” that line still makes me laugh because who the fuck cares about your hand-me-down forgiveness, Damon. Also Elena isn’t dead. So back to life my ass, it’s just waking her up.

2. I think it’s funny that Cade is talking about how Damon is in limbo, “the space between spaces” because my guy, that is JUST the Other Side.

3. No, see, the entire plot line with Cade and the Salvatores irritates me because it’s so conveniently linked to Damon and Stefan. He is the devil or the devil’s right hand man (since Katherine is the Queen of Hell for some reason, right?) I don’t understand why he can’t just find the weapon himself or get someone else to do it for him, there’s no reason that it has to be Damon and it’s the problem when a villain keeps making threats “Or I’ll drag you back to hell”, so then do it. At least with Supernatural when Zachariah wanted Dean to do something and Dean was like nah, Zachariah was like OK so what if I give Sam stage 4 stomach cancer? Or hey, how about if I take away his lungs? And we see him inflict these tortures on Sam while Dean watches. Or Dean starts off the season coming out of hell and we get flashbacks to what hell was like for him and we find out how much it fucked him up so when Uriel and Castiel threaten to throw him back into hell, it’s an actual real threat because we’ve seen the effects and why he would be scared. This whole thing with Damon is like ... every time Cade says he’ll send Damon to hell I’m like motherfucker, no you’re not or you would’ve DONE did it by now, stop.

4. Kat and Paul look gorgeous together, like I just ... seriously, they’re really beautiful people.

5. Bonnie being able to see Enzo is like Jeremy being able to see Bonnie and Elena hallucinating Damon. I’m bored.

6. Lol I’m sorry, that picture of Caroline and Stefan, their smiles are so tight.

7. I find it interesting that nearly every time Stefan is going to leave town or stays in town it’s because of Elena. He comes back to MF to meet Elena. In 1x09 he says he’s going to leave town to protect her but he stays because in 1x10 she says she loves him and because Logan Fell had just become a vampire. In 3x21 he tells Damon that if Elena chooses Damon he’ll leave town, he stays because Elena became a vampire and because she chose him. In 4x23 he’s going to leave town because Elena chose Damon. And now in 8x14 he’s going to leave town but Elena is in trouble so he stays. In 5x09 Katherine even made it a point to tell Stefan that he stays in MF for Elena.

8. Caroline, isn’t it a bit premature to tell your toddler children that you might not marry Stefan?

9. LOL I do find it a bit weird that Kai would be singing at karaoke but it’s made up for the fact that I could listen to Chris’ voice for hours and Paul’s facial expression as Stefan watches Kai sing is HILARIOUS. OMG.

10. I like seeing Paul and Chris interact, they work really well and really easily together although I don’t feel like I’m watching Stefan and Kai, I feel like I’m watching a visual representation of a Chris/Paul tweet conversation but it’s entertaining.

11. Hmm, the show is doing some pretty tight close ups on Kai and Stefan, they almost shoot them the way they shoot Klefan, I wonder if Klaus would be jealous.

12. I was literally like “why the fuck isn’t Damon coming to save his human brother from being stabbed” and then Stefan says, “What took you so long? and Damon says he went to put in a song. I get that’s supposed to be funny but seriously it just once again shows how fucking thoughtless Damon is, like you went to put in a song when your human brother was going to head to head with a psychopath heretic from hell? Fuck you, Damon.

13. Stefan didn’t actually say that he wants to figure out if he wants to be with Caroline, though, he legit said I need to figure out who I am and I need to do it alone. Like whatever, Caroline.

14. Also where are the twins if neither she nor Alaric are watching them in this scene? Like if they’re setting shit on fire because of temper tantrums and are literally prone to blowing each other up now, I would be around them all the time.

15. I do like how Kai is like hey, hey! Maybe you should stop talking about your love life and wonder wtf is happening with your kids? I mean I could help.

16. BE is basically DE.

17. I like how Stefan has, like, an actual plan to kill Cade but if you’re going to kill him, will you not slash his arm and punch him and make witty remarks, can you just stab him?

18. Because you see what happens, Alaric’s cell phone rings and he stops ringing the all important bell.

19. Really? Did they really make Stefan go, “DIE” as he’s trying to kill Cade? I wonder if Paul was like, do I really have to say this though? Can’t you give a line like that to Ian?

20. Oh so Damon killed himself to save Stefan and Elena. I mean I guess. He comes back to life anyway.

21. They’re making Kai really petty, like really, he’s this obsessed with killing two toddlers?

22. What does being psychic have to do with knowing Damon can hear him.

23. I can’t believe there’s a literal fight for Damon’s soul. OMG.

24. *SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER* So there’s this show/book called Outlander about many things but at the centre of it, there’s a love story between Jamie and Claire and throughout the series, Jamie makes these declarations of love to Claire and says he’ll do anything for her, that he’ll be her shield, he’ll die for her etc. and there’s this villain called Jack Randall who is a sexual sadist and he has a particular interest in Jamie who he nearly flogged to death years earlier, basically Randall gets a hold of Claire and is going to kill her in front of Jamie so Jamie offers up his body to Randall in exchange for Claire’s safety and in that scene Randall nails Jamie’s hand to a table and kisses him while Claire has to watch and then Claire is forced to leave Randall and Jamie alone and in the next part we basically see the rape and torture that Randall inflicts on Jamie over and over. A lot of people had issues with that and asked the author why she felt the need to show the brutal rape of Jamie and her response was this:

“So, OK.  Throughout the book, we’ve seen that love has a real cost.  Jamie and Claire have built a relationship through honest struggle, a relationship that’s _worth_ what it’s cost them.  This is the final challenge, and Jamie’s willing to pay what will apparently be the ultimate cost.

   Why would I throw that away?  To have him escape rape and torture (he–and we–_know_ what’s coming) by the skin of his teeth would be to undercut his sacrifice, to make it of little moment.  (It would be like someone turning up in Gethsemane and telling Christ, “Hey, buddy, you don’t _really_ have to do this.  Come with me, I got a secret way outta here…”)”

And this is what TVD fails to do with DE. It’s one thing for Damon to be willing to go to hell for both Stefan and Elena but Bonnie shows up and actually saves him from having to undergo that threat and it undercuts his sacrifice because he didn’t actually have to sacrifice anything, he just had to be willing and it’s not impactful. So I’m not even a little moved by what Damon did because he didn’t do anything first of all, second of all after everything he’s done throughout 8 seasons why wouldn’t he choose himself, I mean, it’s the least he can do.

25. “Bonnie, wake up”, Stefan can you check her pulse?

26. “That little psychic blast must’ve blew me into my body” that literally makes no sense.

27. Damon and Stefan sitting on Damon’s car, drinking is basically just Sam and Dean. Stop it.

28. So Alaric wants to open a poor man’s Hogwarts/Charmed “Magic School” omg that is so lame and unoriginal. I also realize how lazy it was for Charmed to call that academy “Magic School”.

29. “Someone who can create a safe, supportive and loving space for kids ... someone like you” is that Caroline, though? I’m sorry but she doesn’t seem like any of those  things to Josie and Lizzie, she’s shrill and just tells them to stop doing things, like I don’t know why she didn’t actually ask Josie and Lizzie how they felt when their magic was going haywire, like we don’t actually see her BE with them, she just scolds.

30. So I actually like the proposal scene with Steroline, I think what Stefan says to Caroline is sweet ... I just don’t believe it. I just don’t believe that everything he wants is there with her, I just don’t believe that he loves her that deeply and Stefan doesn’t get here on his own and he never gets to the romantic speeches with Caroline on his own and it’s like ... how do I explain this ... when Stefan and Elena were going through their separations, even if they were both doing something else, I always got the impression that they were on each other’s minds, that there was a struggle to stay away from each other but they were doing so because they thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I never get that with Steroline when they’re apart, it just feels like their lives break off and there isn’t a residual connection there, it feels like they’re perfectly fine being separated and their lives are easily untethered so when Stefan comes back like MARRY ME, it doesn’t feel like he’s stopped fighting what he wants and it doesn’t feel like he’s wanted to do this all along and he’s finally just acting on it, it feels like Damon said, “life isn’t going to get any better than you marrying Caroline so marry her” and Stefan went “true.”

31. Also, every time Candice and Paul kiss it really feels like they’re trying to use as little lip as possible, like this was supposed to be a passionate, deep kiss, like it was supposed to be this:

also people underestimate how sweet Mattoline could be, like I frankly never see Caroline look at Stefan like this:

but anyway, their kisses always look like they want to do the least possible and not open their mouths:

anyway.

32. The Bonkai reunion was meh but someone told me the Grahamwood chemistry is gone and like, where? When Kai said “This is kinda hot” I believe he meant it.

and the personal satisfaction Bonnie gets from this:

she looks cheeky not like she has this vicious vengeance, like nah, the Grahamwood energy stays on point.

33. Finally, what anons kept asking me about, Katherine Pierce being the Queen of hell. I am going to admit something, I think the show and the characters gas Katherine way too much, she isn’t the baddest bitch of all, I don’t think the characters are toast because she’s running hell, I don’t even think she deserves to run Hell, she’s petty, it’s not like she has master plans that completely destroy lives, she just makes things inconvenient for the core group like *ugh* I mean I guess I gotta go fix Elena because she has venom in her system, like what were the major consequences of what she did in 5x15 to Elena? Elena didn’t see Damon for an entire episode and couldn’t sleep with him immediately. Getting Jenna to stab herself was rude but the major consequence of that is Stefan and Elena breaking up. She outted the Klaroline sex and it just fractured an already fractured relationship with Tyler. The worst thing she did was cause Jeremy’s death and that wasn’t even intentional, it was just like oh well ... yeah, my bad, bye. Like she’s a mean girl on steroids, that’s kind of it, she isn’t like this Badass Villain that no one can top and OMG SHE RUNS HELL. I mean Rebekah caused just as much damage as Katherine did because they’re both petty.

Overall this episode was ... one of the least offensive episodes of the season, I guess. No real strong feelings about it. Sorry it took so long to review, I hope it was worth the wait :)