#or else it stays the same bc if you lose the fight obviously you're not stronger than the sibling you tried to fight LMAO

[kroosluvr]

i'm genuinely curious I WANT YOU to outline how the shu/ake/sumi romance/and-or/situationship would unfurl in a post-p5r reality (where akechi lives, of course). what are the bullet points for what would happen between them. would they have a falling out. are they doomed. would they be horrible at communicating. would they finally be good at it. which pairing comes together first, if any at all. or would all 3 pairings happen at the same time at the same pace. or are they all in a limbo, not romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing.

OMG HI. HIIIII ok so. i havent actually thought about it that much (SURPRISING I KNOW) because i honestly suck ass at timelines (in regards to canon. tennis au on the other hand...) BUT I WILL DO MY BEST a lot of this is loose too.... im totally up for most anything but this is how i see it most of hte time heheeh (TY FOR THE ASK I LOVE THINKIJGN ABT THESE 3.)

this is .. kinda.. long.. ahem

pre-p5r: sumire is acquainted with goro thru her dad's show: they're not friends, but she's talked with him more than her sister. so when goro meets 'kasumi' at the cafe something strikes him as odd but it doesn't quite register: like ehhhh well why should i care / maybe my memory is just wrong / not worth my time

during p5r: 'kasumi' has a crush on akira, a kind of on-the-surface adoration of "wow i think you're really cool and we get along well!" nothing that's super advanced on or anything, and akira doesn't see her as anything beyond friends anyway.

she drops the crush upon reverting back to sumire, and it builds slowly over the course of 3rd sem but is also never really actualized - like she likes him ok whatever but then what..??

3rd sem (long winter au): long winter barebones: maruki's idealized world starts like on christmas or smth (havent thought this out TOO much LOL) and royaltrio-centric part of 3rd sem lasts for quite a while, at least 3 weeks-1 month. how does this work w the timeline i have no idea. BUT it leads to tense moments like spending new years together with the idealized thieves and trying to stay upbeat during all that, all the attempts and failures at breaking them out of it, and a LOT of tension during this time.

they argue and fight and are irritated with each other a lot of the time (goro the most vocal abt it obviously, sumire kind of drawing back into herself, and akira doing his best to stay optimistic. i think when akira starts to lose his spark is when the others r like oh we gotta make up for that slack and they finally up their game a bit) and yeah even sumire argues with akira and with goro and etc. im figuring this out PROMSIE ill come up w stuff and draw comic/write fic for it...

also 1/9 sumire fight is probably the beginning moment when goro starts to respect sumire more/see her more as a friend/comrade than a teammate. bc she almost kills joker and then him LMAO really giving them a run for their money... and also he really sees the pain she feels at being herself and resonates with it, either unconsciously or consciously

also upon seeing her Past broadcasted on maruki live television:tm: he makes the connection and is like oh so that's what happened. so all this time she was just masquerading as someone else. hmmm

anyway they're all very fragile and scared and sad during 3rd sem so they stick to eachother closely bc they're all they got to lean on. i think they have a lot of skinship during this time? handholding hugs leaning on each other sleeping in the same room (they hang out at leblanc A LOT bc 1) they're kind of afraid of being alone during this time 2) they're afraid of the OTHERS being alone during this time 3) leblanc is "untouched", compared to other parts of maruki's reality. can u imagine if even goro's apartment suddenly became nice overnight LMAO) but its like no feelings attached, just pure comfort kinda thing

kissing could also happen during this time but also no feelings attached, purely Why the hell not etc sort of vibe.

also goro and sumire get on first name basis during this time. this comic i drew w goro dying in my head which is Why he initiates first-name basis, but we can operate off the idea that he thought he'd die but somehow magically didnt. YAY!

but they have impeccable communication w each other and are very honest with their feelings. (goro avoids talking about his past tho. so maybe not THAT honest.) but they all achieve a really strong understanding of each other to survive maruki's winter wonderland...

i do think they develop feelings for each other during this time but they're all confused whether it's feelings of like comfort/security with each other or like romance/yay. so like nightmare situationship basically. so they all individually decide to hold on to this happiness while it lasts bc they sure as hell know it won't last (when have any of them been able to keep good things)

3rd sem: the thieves join yay! i think they'd notice that the 3 of them have become very close-knit (bouncing off eachother insanely well in battle, talk to eachother casually, and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. weird but ok! at least they (akira goro.) aren't trying to kill each other all the time.

this is also nice for sumire bc she had those 3-4 weeks to kinda Figure herself (sumire) out btwn akira and goro so she's less like down in the dumps about not being 'kasumi' anymore and more secure in herself and stuff like that. yay!

they beat maruki and stuff. YAY!

post-p5r: akira moves back to his hometown for 3rd year of highschool and college, goro is who-knows-where (i imagine he gets back on his feet of his own making and then goes abroad for school somehow. idk just seems like smth he'd do esp since i think he'd avoid everyone during this time) and sumire stays at shujin for 2-3rd year, then probably goes to a uni in japan but goes abroad for 1-2 yrs (gymnastics and etc.)

the "goro doesn't die and reunites with akira/sumi" timeline

goro, walking into leblanc on 2/4 or whatever: hi guys i didn't die actually

sumire: haha why would u silly? lol

akira: WHAT THE FUCK

the end.

i think they do go to separate universities though and theyre like damn wait i miss those guys but they go thru school and keep pretty decent contact w each other and see each other during vacations and stuff when they can and then when they come back to tokyo it's like no time has passed btwn them and they just pick up where 3rd sem left off but like better and happier and more peaceful. YAY!

i haven't really thought of how they "CONFESS" or whatever but i think all of them just feel (TWINGE OF JEALOUSY) at the idea of any of them dating someone else so theyre like ok well thats that i guess. we're a thing now (they refuse to use any other terms like that i think. For a while at least. until maybe one of the thieves etc gets engaged/married and then theyre like ok we can grow up about this. but basically they're just A Thing and Offlimits:tm: and etc.)

COMMUNICATION IS GOOD HERE!!!! i think for sh/uakes/umi i prefer them becoming a Thing at once rather than 1 couple happening first (esp since i like the idea of "none of them rlly understand romance and stuff so they just say 'fuck it' and become Thing" like thats kinda funny asf to me.)

i also feel like to anyone else they just seem like a group of besties until u see exchanged kisses or hugs or interlocked arms/hands and ur like wait....? hm. well idk. (bc they don't either. no one has any idea)

the "goro doesn't die and avoids them" timeline

also in my head sumire doesn't endeavor for the olympics/world stage/international fame and just kinda sticks around national rankings while she still figures herself out (in this timeline. also probably true for the other one but shrug IT CLD GO EITHER WAY I THINK)

somewhat relevant is my shsm fic where i elaborate on sumire's emotions more during this time (especially while thinking goro's dead). <- actually this is pretty recommended cele sumire reading bc this basically totally encapsulates how i see her. the first oneshot is 6k words tho ITS A MOUTHFUL.. SORRY

she and akira drift farrrr apart. she feels extremely guilty and also bitter and frustrated about goro's death and the fact that akira didn't tell her (or goro, in fact.) and he feels guilty and sad about it too, that he should have done something? anything? for him or for her, and he couldn't figure it out and now its over. so now the two of them r grappling w this and trying to overcome it and forget each other even tho the memories during 3rd sem, although painful and haunting, still were sweet and nice and they don't want to forget but they HAVE TO MOVE ON... RIGHT....

meanwhile goro's probably thinking like "damn i miss those guys." but they also think he's dead so hes also like "this is stupid i have to move on(?) Or whatever." ok imma be honest i didnt really think THAT much into goro's thinking during this time (YET.) bc i think he'd be floundering a LOT with everything during his life and being kinda just miserable.

also during this time they try to date other people and it all is miserable and falls apart and also they havent forgotten about the other two so theyre like fuck.

akira - 25~, sumire - 24~, goro - 26~, eventually goro moves back to tokyo and kinda just goes about his life hoping he'll see them again. or maybe find out what they were up to and finally get some closure. wow he does! they kinda all go back to tokyo at the same time wow shocker soulmate things IM JOKINGGGG but they all kinda hold that sentimentality of ok so much time has passed maybe i'll feel better about this place now. and then when they run into each other again its like no time has passed at all. HAPPY ENDING YAY!

communication is less good in this timeline now they're healing from the "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" stuff. so thats a whole nother can of worms. probably ironically in this universe they try to actualyl figure out how this whole romance thing works so they can label each other as partners and be like OK DONT RUN OFF AGAIN. ANY OF U!!! DO NOT!!!!

ok this shit is so long im so sorry. HI. SDGSHKJFHJKDSHG THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM BAWLING i really havent thought much of post-3rd sem stuff as u can tell........... but i WILL ipromise.

edit: LAST ADDENDUM im very passionate abt shsm being nightmare situationship. guys who never got together but got divorced 50 times. sh/uake fits into this category as well i think. i can also kinda see ak/esumi like that but ironically i feel like they'd have the most stable situationship out of the 3 individual ships..... idk.. need to let it all cook in my head a bit more BUT VERY PASSIONATE ABT THE SHSM THING.

[chaoticspacefam]

sibling rivalry at it’s finest ✨

Shakkai: Let’s call a truce.

Saarai (Sith heiress), raising eyebrows: I wasn’t aware we were at war. Shakkai, nodding: We are. And I’m winning.

Saarai, deadpan: I kicked your ass three times yesterday.

Shakkai: No. I let you win.

Saarai, sarcastically: Uh huh, sure.

Source: whyohgodwhy

[ayatosmlktea]

best boyfriend series | bokuto

A/N: thank you very much bri for making this banner after I gave up! We all know bokuto is the worlds best boyfriend, and if you don’t agree I hope this convinces you!

Tags: @bakugoustanaccount @hoekaashi

I got really carried away with the backstory aha oops

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- You and bokuto meet your first year of high school, you happen to get stuck together during orientation and you like his talkative extroverted nature

- You end up being in the same homeroom together while you situate yourself in a seat near the back of the class by the window bokuto makes his way over to you and sits down next to you

- You guys shared one other class, science, one of your better subjects and one of his worst, so you spend lots of time helping him understand the work

- The humour flows really well between the two of you, you enjoy his company as much as he enjoys yours and more than once you guys get called out for goofing off too much

- Lots of moments are spent where he’s making you laugh so hard you have to keep it all in and your cheeks burn from how hard you’re smiling

- You guys text each other outside of class, he asks for help doing the english homework which results in you guys calling each other and laughing over him pronouncing the vocabulary

- He finds your laugh the cutest thing he’s ever heard and goes out of his way to make you laugh ever opportunity he has

- He asks you to come to a few of his volleyball practices - to show off obviously- he lives for the praise you give him but you know this so you often tease him for his mistakes just to see him pout although you’re always sure to remind him that he’s talented

- During his games when he nails a really good spike he’ll search you out in the crowd after and seeing you cheer him on excitedly makes him feel like he could play 100 matches and not get tired

- It’s the end of his second year when bokuto begins to realize that he likes you as more than a friend, that the erratic beating of his heart is because he has feelings for you that go deeper than platonic friendship it makes him nervous

- He starts to notice the things he didn’t pay attention to before like the way you bite your bottom lip when you’re deep in concentration or the way your eyes shine when he makes you laugh

- The nervous shy smile you get when he pulls you into him so you don’t get bumped into in crowded spaces

- He’s never gotten jealous over another guy touching you before but Konoha clearly trying to flirt with you sparks something in him to make you his

-Bokuto starts to think about how his life would be if you weren’t in it and comes to the realization that you’re different from his other friends, he sees you as something more but he’s scared to ruin the relationship you have and doesn’t think you would ever think of him that way

- Spends the entire summer thinking about being in a relationship with you and there were many times he hyped himself up to text you and tell you but every time he backed out

- He doesn’t think you’re in his league, especially when you showed up on the first day of your third year looking like an absolute goddess, you guys hadn’t hung out at all that summer and he almost didn’t recognize you

- Your smile is different than before, it makes his whole body tingle with nervous excitement, its brighter like you’ve become more confident in yourself and he can see why

- He thinks you’re absolutely radiant

‧͙⁺˚*·༓���　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- The day he asks you out comes when you’ve stayed late after school to work on a project

- You both finish at the same time, he insists on walking you home like he’s always done before

- You hadn’t planned on leaving this late and were met with a cold wind upon exiting the building

- Bokuto quickly bounded up to you offering you his volleyball jacket which you gladly took without a second thought, it was something you’d done a hundred times before but this time had Bokuto wishing that he could grab your small hand in his and pull you in for a kiss

- “Bo? You good?” you inquire waving your hand in front of his face calling his attention back to the present

- You notice that he’s fidgeting more than usual and he looks ..kinda constipated

- You were no stranger to calling Bokuto out when he started getting weird and in his head so you stopped walking and turned to face him telling him to spill whatever was on his mind

- Bokuto’s eyes widen clearly not expecting to have been called out so soon, you can see the uncharacteristic indecisiveness swimming in his eyes and it makes you start to feel uneasy

- You were expecting him to say something about not wanting to be friends anymore, you knew you had changed over the summer and maybe he didn’t like who you were now

- What you weren’t expecting was for him to practically scream a confession at you

- When he was done you both stared at each other, you not knowing what to say and in shock at the fact that the guy you’ve had a crush on for 3 years has confessed that he feels the same way you do

- Your silence is his eyes indicates rejection and he feels as though he’s been kicked in the gut but he tells you to forget what he said and shoves his hands in his sweater pockets mentally berating himself for being stupid enough to think you would like him back

- You reach out and grab his elbow stopping him from walking away, you don’t say anything and instead stand on your tiptoes to place the softest kiss on his lips

- Both of your faces heat up but neither of you move away from each other, you whisper that you like him too and have liked him for years and he can’t help but laugh in relief

- He pulls you into a hug and spins you around before holding your face in both his warm hands and kisses you again making your headspin and your heart race

- The next day all your friends are relieved when you show up to school holding hands claiming that watching the two of you pine over each other so obviously and not doing anything about it was painful

- Bokuto as your boyfriend!!!! finally

- Bokuto is your #1 hype man, for everything

- Doesn’t matter how big or small it is he’s always happy when you succeed

- Every time you post a selfie on instagram he’s always the first one to comment in all caps exclaiming how beautiful you look

- Also the kind of boyfriend to make you stop when you guys go out so he can a bunch of pictures of you, tells you to pose, tells you how pretty you look with the sun making your skin and eyes pop

- He kisses you every chance he gets, just peppers your face with kisses because his heart is overflowing with so much love for you that he doesn’t know what to do with himself other than to express it through kissing you

- Loves skin to skin contact, when you’re lying in bed together he’ll lift your shirt up and press your back against his chest with his arms cuddling your stomach

- Screenshots every snapchat you send him, even the ones you think are ugly because he thinks you always look beautiful especially when you’re being dorky

- He loves going for hikes, being the active person that he is he’d def be down for a lot of outdoor activities

- Kuroo still has the pictures on his phone from when you all went down to the lake for the weekend and Bokuto tipped your kayak over. At the time you had been anything but happy with your clothes and hair soaking wet but the memory of it now made you chuckle

- Your size difference is his favourite thing about the relationship, you’re so small you barely reach his shoulders and it makes him feel fuzzy inside knowing that only he gets to hold you close against his big beefy chest

- Insists on paying for literally e v e r y t h i n g

- It doesn't matter how much money you make, he always wants to treat you because you’re his baby, don't bother trying to fight with him bc you're going to lose

- Not only can he physically overpower you from being able to read the machine to pass your card but he’ll just pull some shit out like “can’t a guy treat his beautiful girlfriend?”

- If you mention in passing something you’ve been craving like food/candy/snacks etc he’ll go get it for you, if he notices you are looking at something you've been wanting to get yourself for a while but are hesitating bc its too expensive or you don't think you deserve it - you got it, he’s going to buy it for you

- Everyday is valentine’s day for Bokuto so there’s never a day you don’t feel loved and cherished, he buys you new flowers every week with a cute note attached saying something he loves about you

- On the actual day, he just sees it as an excuse to go all out for you, breakfast in bed, your favourite chocolates and/or candy waiting for you in the kitchen, obviously he’s gonna insist on waking you up with his favourite meal...if you know what I mean

- He insists on picking you up from work when he has the chance, especially if you’re working late

- When he has to leave early for practice he spends the few moments he has between waking up and getting dressed to cuddle you, buries his face in your neck and enjoys the sound of you snoring softly

- Always kisses you goodbye, one on your forehead and one on your lips

- Sends you a good morning text so you wake up to something happy because he knows you get sad when you wake up and he’s gone all day

- If he has to leave the city for a game or something else work related he makes sure his side of the bed smells enough like him that isnt overpowering but is enough for you to hug while he’s gone and have some comfort

- Sends you pictures everyday until he’s back and while you learn to cope with him being gone he nevers sleeps right without you

- He misses you even more than you miss him, he’s a clingy baby and needs your validation that you love him as much as he loves you

- Everyone gets insecure sometimes, including Boktuo and when he’s having one of those days all he wants to do is lie his head down on your chest while you play with hair and cuddle

- Bokuto is the kind of guy who knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life with you, I feel like depending on his mood he’s either antsy to propose or he’s not in a rush because he’s enjoying the lives you two are leading right now

- He’s had the ring he’s going to use to propose to you with for a solid year before it happens

- I also feel like he’d do some shit like pull the ring out while you’re not looking and take a picture to show you on the days leading up to the proposal

- He’ll take you to the beach to watch the sunrise with you and although you’re cranky and complaining that it’s too early to be awake you know the view will be worth it

- What you aren’t expecting is for him to get really serious as the first splashes of blue and pink hit the horizon while he talks about how he never imagined you’d become so important to his life

- He recalls the moment he fell in love with you, it wasn’t anything romantic or particularly cute and it was a little embarrassing now that you think back on it but he remembers the two of you joking around during lunch and him making you laugh so hard you snorted out milk through your nose

- He doesn’t know what it was about that moment but it had stuck with him all these years, he talks about how he wants to spend every morning waking up to you, bed head and morning breath and all

- He thanks you for being so patient with him during his time growing up in high school, he tells you he’s grateful you were there for him when he was feeling the worst about himself

- He starts to choke up as he talks about knowing that he wants the spend the rest of his life with you and that he’ll spend everyday making you the happiest woman alive and making sure you know how loved and appreciated you are

- By the end you’re both crying and when you choke out a yes he grabs you into a tight bear hug and can’t stop smiling the rest of the day

[philosophiums]

HOLYYYYY FUUUUUCK MY HEART WENT TO A DARK PLACE I DON'T THINK EVEN YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS ANGST WHY MUST I BE LIKE THIS...what if, (bc my poor son hasn't suffered enough, ofc) Neil got cancer? Terminal lung cancer, or leukemia or smthn.

And ofc, without Neil, Andrew would be a mess, and Neil knows that, and he doesn’t want Andrew to spiral bc of him even tho it’s def NOT his fault that he has cancer so he makes a deal with Andrew–he will hold on for as long as he can andtry experimental treatments and just TRY his hardest to stay alive, even though he’s aware his chances of survival are barely in existence and he’s in pain and he doesn’t want to–but only if Andrew promises to keep trying if (when) he dies.I thought about it the other way around too but it’s not QUITE as angsty bc Andrew would fight literally bc Neil needs some1 to watch his stupid ass and then Neil isn’t rlly suicidal but his playing would probably be horrible and he’d be distractedand he’d probs ends up getting himself killed bc Andrew wouldn’t be there to be his anchor. (I’m so sorry about this I have a problem I just needed to share)

okay, first of all, Courtney, fuck off. second of all, I cried writing this. I cried a lot. I hate everything about this and I hope you all suffer with me because this sucks

it starts with Neil being tired

a lot

it’s a persistent sort of tired that dogs him during practice and haunts him during class

even his bones seem to be tired, aching in a dull, heavy way

he and everyone else tag it as stress and anxiety, because even Neil realizes that it’s more of a heavy sort of tired

he’s not yawning really at all

he’s just

unmotivated, and moving seems like more work than it should be

and then Neil starts getting tired faster during practice, and it gets harder for him to catch his breath

Andrew forces him to go in and see a doctor, but the doctor just tells Neil to start sleeping at least seven hours per night and to eat better

thus night practices with Kevin get cancelled and Andrew stops keeping sweets and other unhealthy food in the dorm

at least in the sight of Neil

Neil doesn’t like seeing Andrew worried about him, so he hides the fact that even the extra sleep and the regulated diet aren’t really helping

he actually seems to be losing weight

but then the bruises start forming

and we all know that bruises are commonplace for Neil, so they go unnoticed at first, but then they start happening over little things, like bumping shoulders with Andrew

and Neil is still fucking fatigued all the time, he is bone-tired

Andrew has just about had enough, and is just about to drag Neil’s ass back to the doctor

determined to make threats to the doctor if he has to in order to find out what the hell is wrong with Neil

when Neil starts getting sudden nose bleeds

just out of nowhere, often not triggered by anything, and they’re frequent

this time Neil volunteers to go to the clinic, and Andrew goes with him

the doctor listens to the symptoms and then

well

Neil gets transferred to the hospital in Columbia

no one has told them anything yet

Andrew is panicking, heart thumping in his chest worse than when he stands on the edge of the roof

Neil, despite everything, is calm

there’s no point in panicking yet

no point in panicking at all

they get their answers at the hospital, a nurse sitting them down and explaining that Neil’s symptoms sound like leukemia, and that they need to run some tests

Neil is immediately put in for a bone marrow biopsy and, not trusting the doctors, he denies the offer for an anesthetic

they still inject him with a local, and that’s the most painful part of the whole procedure

he’s out of there in fifteen minutes, and the hospital sends him and Andrew home

it takes two weeks and five days before the hospital contacts Neil

Andrew was keeping track of the days as he did more and more research on leukemia

and that’s exactly what they find

at 4:03pm on a Thursday afternoon in November, Neil is diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia

one of the nurses gives Neil information about a cancer center in Columbia and suggests that Neil go try to check in that night

Neil doesn’t want to, obviously

he wants to go home, talk to his family, sleep with Andrew, and forget about all of this

but Andrew is having none of that

so Neil goes

but of course that’s not how the world works, and Neil and Andrew end up driving home anyway

(and this is going to be a novel if I don’t quit so)

Andrew quits playing Exy in order to drive Neil back and forth from Columbia, for as long as Neil can manage the trip

eventually it gets to the point where the treatments start killing things aside from just the cancer, though, and Neil stays in Columbia

Andrew stays with him

because Andrew is scary, and the doctors don’t think it’s worth trying to enforce their rules when Neil had a full-blown panic attack the first night after Andrew was forced to leave

so Andrew stays with Neil, not in the same bed because of all of the tubes, but at least in the same room

money isn’t an issue, so Neil tries everything, every drug, no matter how risky, no matter how experimental

he tries them because he promised Andrew, because he’s not ready to stop fighting yet

and Andrew

oh

this is killing Andrew

watching Neil fade away with each day, losing his hair, losing the brightness in his eyes

don’t stop fighting he whispers when he thinks Neil is asleep don’t leave me yet

when they eventually realize that the treatments aren’t doing anything

that Neil isn’t getting better

they leave

Neil points radomly at a map and they go there

Andrew drives, slower than normal so that Neil can look at the landscapes

but that’s not what Neil cares about

that’s not what Neil watches

and Andrew, for once, doesn’t tell Neil to stop staring

they end up renting a house with the last of Neil’s money, a place in the quiet part of town with a decent backyard

but Neil doesn’t go outside anyway

he stays with Andrew, who has quit smoking, who has lost muscle mass due to lack of use, who stays glued to Neil’s side no matter what

and just as Neil is memorizing Andrew’s face, Andrew is memorizing Neil’s

Neil doesn’t say You have to keep living

and Andrew doesn’t say That’s rich, coming from a dying man

instead, Neil says I love you and you were always the survivor between the two of us

and Andrew says you are the only thing that matters

when Neil dies

oh, god

Andrew, who usually can’t bring himself to care about anything

who often doesn’t know how to express his emotions anyway

Andrew screams and cries and holds onto Neil until he’s managed to convince himself to let go

and then he doesn’t look back

he calls 911 to come get the body

and he calls Wymack

and he calls Bee

but these are just motions, cursory actions that mean nothing

Andrew doesn’t go to the funeral, because what’s the point

Neil isn’t there, and he’s not going to give a shit

funerals are not for the dead, and Andrew has no intention of watching other people cry over a man who…

he’s just not going to do it

he stays at Palmetto because of his promise to Kevin

but he’s done with Exy, and he’s done with things that remind him of Neil

he goes to see Betsy, but he doesn’t talk to her

he just wants to sit quietly with someone who doesn’t give him a rough look of pity every time he’s near

he just wants an hour per week to mourn Neil in peace

Andrew notices when the team stops mourning Neil, when they move on with their lives

a month is all they gave him before picking themselves up

it’s what Neil would have wanted

hell, he wouldn’t have wanted them to mourn at all

but it still makes Andrew hate all of them more

he mourns Neil for the rest of the school year

mourns until he graduates

and then he sheds himself of Neil like a ghost

and he leaves that ghost in Palmetto, with Neil’s unspoken plea for Andrew to live being the only thing Andrew holds onto