#or however you spell that and my trichotillomania but those are bc i dont want to get those fixed sggdgdgd i need the dopamine okay??)
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Bleugh gotta go shower before I can lay down to nap but dont have the energy/motivation to get up and do that
#i gotta wash my hair thats why im like ugggggh i cant go another day without washing it and i had my hair down so it's yucky with outside™️#germs which is also why i have to shower in general bc my germaphobic ass will not even sit on my bed without at LEAST changing my#clothes out from my outside™️ clothes#i literally have to lay a beach towel down on my bed before im allowed to sit on my bed sgdggddg usually after work i dont#sit on my bed until i shower but if i have therapy or other phone call i have to sit THERE but i am GRUBBY feeling#ive had many a therapists try to help me with this and uh we managed almost all my most disabling ocd symptoms but my germaphobia is still#prominent (i wipe not only the handle of shopping carts but the top of the sides bc thats where people also grab it so ew and i wipe the#plastic seat flaps bc um accidents happen... diapers get full... ect... anyway i use one for work so... and my dermatilomania#or however you spell that and my trichotillomania but those are bc i dont want to get those fixed sggdgdgd i need the dopamine okay??)#anyways germs. and i wont let mom touch shared food when she comes home until she washes her hands bc gross things like chex mix and chips#and my current dr is like well thats reasonable i guess. i mean you should work on it emotionally but it is a compulsion/fear rooted in#a valid thought especially in the pandemic#marquilla
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