#or maybe my low energy is just a lie and im lazy... anyways this got too depressing

[microfeelings]

👁👄👁

[kokomyass]

Megumi Fushiguro ☆ Overwork

Megumi x Fem!Reader

Genre: 🥀/☁️

Word Count: 2673

Trigger warnings ⚠️: a bit of swearing, themes of overworking to the point it is damaging. depression, some gore and violence.

synopsis: in which, you begin to overwork, hope to repay megumi for all the times he's saved you, but things don't turn out good...

hey ya'll!! this is a request from the sweetest person alive who dm me just to say my Megumi content was good so love you lots @bqvs !! 💜💜🎵🎵

anyways I hope you enjoy!! mwah!

also I haven't edited cause im a lazy bum :P

Second Person POV

All your life, you had felt lesser than everyone else. No matter what you did you would feel like you weren't good enough for anyone.

However, instead of being the type of person to sit around and wait for something to magically happen, you would work towards what you wanted, even if it meant losing sleep and your health being at an all time low.

Obviously things did not change when you joined Jujutsu Tech…yes, there were way less students which helped, but the students were also exceptionally strong, you felt like a puny little shrimp compared to them. Especially Megumi.

When you first joined you were really laid back, you really got along with Megumi, Yuji and Nobara but of course you had to mess up on your first mission together.

Which resulted in you being saved by Megumi and it seems being saved by Megumi was a common occurrence (by common occurrence you mean every mission)

Of course, you ended up falling hard for Megumi after all the times he acted as your Knight in shining armour along with his redeeming qualities. You also envied him and wanted to be as strong as he was and make him acknowledge you and maybe even love you…

As much as you liked Megumi, you were getting more depressed each day. You were completely and utterly useless compared to him. It seemed that Gojo also noticed you struggling a bit more than the others…so he began pairing you with stronger sorcerers to protect you and even then you would be pretty useless there too.

So in the end, not only are you spending less time with Megumi, but also being basically useless on all your missions.

No matter how hard you worked, you wouldn't improve. No one even notice the amount of effort you were putting in.

Usually you would hang out with all the students, especially Megumi, you were used to putting a facade on. Pretending that you weren't depressed and low…but even masking that was becoming difficult.

You had lost weight from not eating properly, you were always tired, you had lost your usual energy and you were extremely slow and sluggish, which further impacted your performance in missions.

You had been sent on a mission by Gojo to defeat a curse with Nanami. Yet another mission with an adult…

"Y/N, you think you will be alright on this one?" Gojo asked seemingly noticing something was wrong too.

You sighed, but immediately tried to put up a fake smile. In all honesty last night you were training so much that you didn't get any sleep and had to drink about 5 cups of coffee to keep you awake.

"Yep! When will I be able to go on a mission with Megumi again…"

You missed spending time with Megumi incredibly.

"Soon! Anyways off you guys go!" Gojo waved you off as you and Nanami began your trip.

You had been on many missions with Nanami (mainly due to protection reasons) so he knew you well, which also meant he knew something was wrong.

"Y/N, are you well and able to do this mission?" you were walking behind Nanami dragging your feet from tiredness as his question made you perk up slightly.

"I'm fine! I'm actually feeling much better I think I'll be more useful today!" you laughed.

That was all a lie. You felt like shit. But, knowing Nanami, if he knew that he wouldn't let you try at all.

When you found the curse and began fighting it, your tiredness made you weak and slow. You were barely dodging the attacks. At some points, you would shut your eyes and they wouldn't open again.

"Y/N! Fall back! Stop fighting! You will get hurt!"

Nanami's warnings went over your head as you went in for another attack. You felt a sharp pain in your side. You looked down to see your side stabbed and blood spreading through your clothes. Your breathing hitched as you fell to the ground with a thud, everything going black around you.

All in all, Nanami defeated the curse and you were just another failure.

When you both made it back to Jujutsu Tech. You had been treated by Ieiri (who had grown accustomed to seeing you) and you were resting in the infirmary.

Megumi POV

I know something is wrong with Y/N.

The day she joined I felt an unusual attraction to her. The way she smiles regardless of the situation and the kindness she shows to everyone around her…

Y/N is the closest anyone has gotten to me and I do have feelings for her as much as I want to deny it.

However, I've seen her health plummeting, she sleeps in class sometimes, constant injuries after missions…something wasn't right and I knew it even if no one else did.

One night, I heard constant banging noises and when getting up to find out what it was I saw Y/N, punching her punching bag like there was no tomorrow.

Her knuckles were bleeding, each hit she gave her legs quivered from tiredness, her heavy breathing sounded as if she was having a heart attack. My heart clenched to see her in this state.

Why is she working herself to this extent? Why is she doing harm to herself? That was when I truly knew something was wrong.

After the mission she went on with Nanami I decided to go and speak to Nanami myself to find out what he thinks, but to my suprise he approached me first.

"Megumi, I have been looking for you. Have you seen Y/N yet?"

"No? Why?"

Nanami sighed as if he was struggling to say something.

"She sustained an injury when we went on our mission, she got stabbed in the side. But her condition is stable and Shoko has treated her."

My eyes widened as a lump formed in my throat. How could she be so reckless? Before I could run off, Nanami stopped me.

"Megumi, please find out what us wrong with Y/N because I fear next time the injury she sustains might not be so treatable…"

I nodded, I agreed with Nanami. I ran as fast as I could to the infirmary. Whatever she was doing was putting her life in jeopardy….

Second Person POV

"Megumi is never going to like me…" you mumbled looking down as suddenly the same person runs in.

"Y/N! Are you okay?! What happened!" Megumi came in shouting. He look horrified as if you had died.

Even though it shouldn't have, your heart fluttered at the thought of Megumi worried about you.

He placed his hands on the sides of your arms making sure not to be to aggressive. You smiled softly at him as much as you could despite the sharp pain in your side.

"I'm okay, I just got caught in an attack but Ieiri said I'll be fine!" you giggled and placed a hand on Megumi's head, ruffling his hair as he sat down on the chair next to the bed sighing.

"Well, next time be more careful because if your not something bad will happen, okay?" Megumi placed his hand on yours making you blush slightly.

"I'll be fine, don't worry, I'll be stronger soon too!" you lifted up your arm and flexed as a joke as Megumi smiled slightly, still looking perturbed.

"Y/N, we need to ta-"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence Nobara and Yuji burst in dramatically.

"Y/N!!!!! What happened!!" Yuji said as Nobara was checking every inch of your face to make sure you were okay.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired…" you all talked about random stuff as Megumi stayed silent and distant.

Truth was, you were very very tired and you hadn't fully recovered but you needed to start working again if you wanted to catch up to Megumi and be the girl he wants, and just like that the evening arrived and you were sneaking out to go and train.

You practiced with your jaw clenched the whole time to reduce the pain you felt in your side everytime you moved, but it was worth it. All for Megumi, and to be able to protect him like he has done to you.

Time Skip

It was morning and you were walking at snails pace to find Gojo to ask if you could go on a mission with Megumi.

You made the best poker face you could to hide the pain lingering in every step.

"Gojo! Please can I go on a mission with Megumi." you said smiling as much as you could, griping your bruised and wounded knuckles together to beg him.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but you got injured and until you feel okay I can't send you out…" Gojo said as you immediately came up with a response.

"Gojo sensei, please believe me I feel much better it wasnt a bad injury I've had worse, I promise!" you we practically on the floor but eventually he sighed and said you could go on a mission to fight a 1st grade curse with Megumi.

Despite the pain, you smile a real genuine smile for the first time in a while at the thought of being alone with Megumi and spending time together.

Time Skip!

"Y/N, why are you here? You got injured. Stop over working yourself."

This isn't the way you thought spending time together would go.

Megumi had been telling you off the whole time you walked to your destination as you tried your best to explain that you were fine (which you were not)

"Megumi, I'm fine, I'm just tired."

"You always say that. Do you not sleep?"

Your worst fear was happening. Megumi was becoming suspicious and instead of being honest all you could do is get mad.

"I do…why do you keep asking questions?"

"Because whatever your doing needs to stop….MOVE!"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence the sharp arm of the curse you were meant to fight came between you two nearly stabbing you before Megumi pushed you out of the way.

You tried getting up but your previous injury hindered you from doing that.

"Stay back Y/N! You'll only distract me…" your heart shattered at his words as tears pricked your eyes and you scowled.

"I'm not a distraction, just watch!"

"Y/N! No watch out!"

Before you could even realise what was happening, a large tree branch pierced your stomach as you stared at Megumi with your eyes wide before looking at the branch stuck in you.

Oh how much you regretted everything. You wish you had listened to Megumi. You wish you listen to Nanami. You wish you weren't even born.

You stared into the sky as you looked down at the large tree branch that had gotten stuck in you.

Blood started pooling from your mouth as you recounted all the times you wished you had lived your life more.

You wish you could confess your love to Megumi and get married and have 3 beautiful kids…a smile graced your lips at the thought.

"Well, I think this may be it…"

Everytime you blinked, it felt as if 10 minutes when by.

You heard Megumi shout at you begging you to stay awake as he defeated the curse. You felt him cradle you in his shaking and bloody arms.

"Y/N, just wait someone is coming to get us. Hang in there." You smiled and reached for Megumi's cheek. Even though your vision was blurred you could feel the tear drop from his eyes.

"Please don't cry…" you smiled as you hand started to go limp and you couldn't stay awake any longer.

Time Skip!

You groaned in pain as you awoke to a bright light. You body ached at any slight movement and as your eyes adjusted to the light you realised what had happened and you sat up looking down at your stomach.

You sighed, thankful to still be alive.

Unbeknownst to you, Megumi was sat down next to you, asleep with his arms crossed, under his eyes had a tint of red, most likely from crying.

You put your hands through his hair combing your fingers through it, smiling at the sight of him asleep.

He stirred awake and you removed your hands from his hair. When he awoke he looked shocked to see you awake. He immediately hugged you.

"I thought I lost you…" you could tell he was being careful making sure not to hurt you as your rubbed his back before pulling away.

"I'm not gone quite yet!" you laughed as Megumi gripped his trousers, clenching his fists.

"Y/N, this isn't funny. You nearly died." Megumi looked down mumbling as your smile dropped yet again to see Megumi scolding you.

You placed a hand on his to comfort him, "Megs, look I'm fine and it wasnt even that ba-" Before you could finish he flung his hand away.

"Wasn't that bad?! Don't be stupid…you nearly died! You think I don't see you every night training until your whe body gives out? Or the amount of weight you lost or even the stumbling in your walk from lack of sleep?"

You gasped and squinted at him.

"Were you spying on me, Megumi? So what if I want to train? I'm only trying to better myself, why won't you support me?!"

"I'm not supporting you? Y/N I have always supported you through thick and thin but what could possibly be making you want to work so hard that you get yourself killed?! Tell me, please enlighten me!"

Megumi was stood up at this point and you could see people through the door window but you didn't care. You were hurt.

"You, Megs, it's you! I feel like a useless person who can't do anything right. Every mission we have ever been on you have had to save me and I want to be as strong as you. So forgive me for putting in some effort!" you shouted at him with tears streaming down your face and your voice cracking.

"I love you the way you are Y/N! I have never once looked at you as if you are useless. I think you are funny, smart, cute and the kindest soul alive! Why would I want you to change? You are working youself to death, that's the least I want! I love you!"

Everything was silent as Megumi dropped to his seat cheeks flushed from his angry confession as you stared at him teary eyed.

"You…you love me?" you asked genuinely shocked he could love someone as weak as you.

"Yes Y/N…I have ever since I met you. I never hated you just please stop hurting yourself like this-"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence, you pressed your lips on his. You pressed your palm onto his cheek as his thumb whined away your tears.

You pulled apart, out of breath as you both had a faint blush on your cheeks.

"I love you too Megs." you pressed your body into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you softly.

"Y/N…I will never ever hesitate to save you and I would do it over and over for you."

You smiled and inhaled his scent. A sense of relief washing over you. Something told you that from now on life would be much easier to live…

A lil bonus:

You had recovered and you were at a dessert shop with Megumi for a cute little date.

"Would you save me if I was like…a worm?" you giggled taking a bite of ice cream.

"Well I suppose, I would try to turn you into a human…so yes?"

"You don't sound to sure Megs…I'm feeling quite unconvinced…"

Megumi sighed putting his spoon down.

"I would save you and give your worm body a massive kiss. Happy?"

"Perfect answer!!" you laughed kissing him on the cheek as he just smiled lightly.

i hope you all enjoyed that especially my girly that I wrote it for, I hope you loved it 💜💜🩷🩷

[gummygowon]

cute relationship things with ateez!

genre: fluff (a lot)

warnings: none :)

established relationship!

a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;) 

seonghwa:

for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books

with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything

you guys would read books !!!

before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own

and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad

“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”

“y/n, just keep reading.” 

“but hwa-”

turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men

i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other

so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book

so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together

like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night

seonghwa is back from work and so are you

you guys already showered and ate dinner

you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest

and you’re like “wtf bro?”

and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”

“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”

“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”

that was a fatass lie

he just wanted to be close to you 

hongjoong:

ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time

mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)

but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean

but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)

you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time

you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book

then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind

killing two birds with one stone you feel me

sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him 

“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter

and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics 

but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling

“joongie look!!!”

“what is it?”

you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look

“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???” 

“yes?” 

he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened

“see, wasn’t it funny?”

“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you

yunho:

yunho powers im sorry for this one

alright so, it’s night time 

you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever

your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat

but then yunho just kisses your face

and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do

like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls

that’s what his face would look like

he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”

“i was just about to...”

yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day

he just couldn’t resist kissing you 

you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping 

mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you

like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?

ok, back to this reaction idea thing-

yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color

you just look at him with tired eyes 

“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”

and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less

so he goes to kissing your face

like all over

your nose

your cheeks

forehead

basically anywhere ok?

and you end up laughing because it tickles 

but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does 

... eventually lmao

but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh

he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”

and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around 

“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”

which leads to more kisses :))))

yeosang:

ok so you’re now the busy one

yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours

your homework loads were no jokes 

then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful

it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face

you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol

the industry was not a place to fuck around 

you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other

speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world

you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way

however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess

a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see

anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished

you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice

you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long

the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower

however, you didn’t even notice

you were too immersed in your writing to notice

yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked

and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally

this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you

“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest

“oh it’s just you.”

yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”

you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work 

which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder

and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck

after that night, it became a weekly occurrence

which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag

san:

i am very excited for this one

ok so, san loves playing with your hair

it’s just so much fun 

running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail

he loved it

he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep

then one day after san came home early from work 

you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together

san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest 

and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair

that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair

“sure, what type of braid though?”

“there’s different kinds????” 

“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.

“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”

you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled

so you doing his hair right 

and you begin rambling about your day/week

talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about

however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking

“san?”

he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over

“baby?”

san still wouldn’t respond to you 

but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach

“mmmmmmm?”

“nevermind love, just sleep.” 

he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you

you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more

“goodnight sannie.”

mingi:

you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home

it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning 

you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you

ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi

you guys were practically joined at the hip 

even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke 

which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying

not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom

“y/n?”

you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath

“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs

“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”

you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face

the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)

he was like eight at the time give him a little break

so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow

and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head 

surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion

as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit 

“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words

after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you 

until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom

even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better

ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice 

he literally still does it

even two years into your relationship-

“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you

“boots and cats-”

“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat

wooyoung:

i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad

but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship

which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung 

because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that

you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group

you were that glue that held everyone together

always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself

which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place

he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better

of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told

but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast

assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day

and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work

and your patience was thinning everyday with those people

then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects

it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results

it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground

you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t

those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you

you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms

usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore 

you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit

because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself

so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself

each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss

“y/n, you are so intelligent-” 

kiss

“caring-”

kiss

“beautiful-”

kiss

“more than everything i ever wanted”

kiss

by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess

“and this is why i love you.”

he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is

it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you

jongho:

i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep

like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep 

so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes 

you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing

at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink

while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed

a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean 

yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”

“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass

jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”

“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”

“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.

“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind. 

you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”

jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”

you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence

“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms

he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair

his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close 

at last, your mind was at peace with itself

your heart beat slowing down

and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms

jongho kissed your forehead once more 

“i love you.”

[kitherondxle]

Kitty Fic: kyknophobia

kit and ty take a walk in the park - read on ao3

wrote a drabble and im super nervous but for my fav boys i defeated my fear

(warning for discussion on death/grief, los spoilers and swans)

please enjoy if you decide to read!!

They walked along the park, the leaves yellow and red, sun shining bright between them. Ty was quiet, like he usually was these days and Kit missed their conversations. Ty’s smooth voice as he told him random facts and the way his eyes lit up when he was talking about something new he just learned. He missed Ty's thirst for mystery and his thoughtfulness and how he craved to find the center of every question. He missed Ty's energy, Ty’s excitement and most of all his smiles. But Kit knew all too well at what cost that smile he liked so much has disappeared.

Ty's hand was holding the marble Kit had found on the ground at the entrance to the park and he was twirling it around his fingers. Kit watched it, the dark green reflecting orange sunlight.

"Do you want it back?" Ty asked and Kit shook his head, immediately embarrassed.

"I gave it to you," Kit said and Ty raised the marble to the sky and looked through it between his fingers. Then he dropped his arm again and nodded, the small ball rolling among his fingers again. Kit wanted to say something else, but he didn't really know how to talk to Ty that well anymore, despite how much he wanted to.

"It's nice," Ty said suddenly and Kit looked at him, surprised. "I haven't been outside since we came back."

"I know..." Kit said looking back at the ground. "I've always liked this place," he added. "I would come here in the mornings sometime. We lived nearby and I'd jog..." then he swallowed. "Well I only jogged a couple of times to be completely honest... But I do love walking through the path."  He felt his cheeks redden from his awkwardness but when he glanced at Ty, it didn't really look like he was paying attention, anyway. His gray eyes on the marble twirling between his fingers, clearly lost in his thoughts. Kit looked away again, chewing at his lip.

"You can keep talking," Ty said. "I'm listening." Kit's heart stuttered.

"Sure," he said and began reciting small stories from his childhood in this park. The weird homeless men he had met and the couple of times he saw celebrities, but he assumed Ty wouldn't know who he was talking about so he skipped their names. "My dad took me here once," he said, remembering suddenly. "I..." He paused collecting his thoughts, surprised at the resurfaced memory. "It was my eleventh birthday, I think. He took me to the lake and we had a small barbecue... chicken, maybe. I don't know..." He rolled his shoulders, uncomfortable. It was rare to have warm memories of his father, almost impossible. Why was he only remembering this now?

"Do you miss him?" Ty asked and Kit took a long breath. Did he? He asked himself that a lot. It felt like he should miss him more, but there was little to miss. A father, sure, but there was no fatherly warmth Kit was missing. Johnny Rook didn't give Kit warmth. He didn’t congratulate him on his grades and he didn’t cook him dinner and he didn’t hug him. He barely touched him, or even looked at him. He almost never told Kit he loves him. Kit wasn't sure if he's even ever told him that he does. Maybe Kit just assumed he would because he is his dad. Aren't parents supposed to love their children?

"There's not a lot to miss," Kit admitted and Ty stopped abruptly.

"How?" Ty looked at him confused. "How is there not a lot to miss?” Kit looked back at him and swallowed, feeling hot under Ty’s scrutinizing gaze. “He was your father, wasn't he? He was there every day of your life. He raised you and he kept you safe. He was part of you," Ty said his gray eyes shining, marble gone inside one of the tight fists by his body.

Kit licked his lips, feeling suddenly nauseous. "Of course I miss him," he said, eyes dropping. "I think about him every day."

"But you said-"

"I wasn't close to my father, Ty," Kit cut him off. He felt bad about it, but he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I barely knew him," he said and looked up to Ty's eyes and was surprised when they were still looking back at his. They held the gaze for a long moment longer and then Ty looked away.

"I feel like part of me is gone," he said quietly, one fist raising to cradle against his heart. "I don't know how to get it back. I don't know how to stop the empty feeling and all the pain," he dropped his head and Kit wanted more than anything to step forward, put his fingers deep in Ty's black hair and hold him steady. Tell him everything will be okay. Even if he wasn’t sure if it will be, he wanted Ty to believe it. "Everything... Everything I see reminds me of her," Ty said, voice quiet and unsteady. “Even this,” he opened the palm to reveal the dark green marble. “If you raise it to the sky,” he said, raising the marble between himself and Kit, “the color is the exact same as her eyes.” Kit looked up and Ty was right. The color was a dark green blue, the classic Blackthorn eye, except Ty’s of course. Ty dropped his hand, head hanging low again. "I can't bear to keep my eyes open."

Kit stepped forward without thinking and put his hands on Ty's shoulders. "Look at me," he said. When Ty didn't move he repeated, "Look at me, Ty." Ty raised his head then, eyes meeting Kit's. Kit regretted what he did immediately. Sure, he had the urge to hold Ty, but now what? He bit his lip for a brief moment and then let go with a shallow breath. "I can't imagine what you are going through, Ty," he said looking down, hands still tight on Ty's shoulders. "My dad and I... We weren't close and his death was still the most pain I’ve ever experience so for you... I can't imagine," he felt his eyes burn and his own feelings of losing Livvy storming in his chest. He looked back up at Ty who was still watching him, eyes wide and listening. "But you will get through this, Ty. You are strong and you are brilliant and you have your amazing family and your memories and your endless love for your sister. That will never disappear."

Ty watched Kit with shining eyes as they jumped from one of Kit's eyes to the other. "And I have you," Ty added quietly and Kit felt his mouth open in a silent gasp.

He nodded almost feverishly. "Of course. Yes, you have me. I'm here. I'll be here." Ty watched him for a few moments and then averted his gaze, a dust of color on his cheeks.

"Thank you," he said and Kit nodded again, not really knowing what to say anymore. He felt a rush of emotions. At the grief for both his father and a friend. At the empathy he felt for the Blackthorns and most of all, Ty. At the way the blush on Ty's cheeks made him burn inside almost spectacularly. At how much he wanted to kiss Ty all of a sudden, more than he has ever wanted to kiss anyone before.

He dropped his hands suddenly and Ty looked at him, confused. Kit ignored it, running a shaky hand through his hair and looked back at the road. It was split in two before them, and although Kit exclusively went the right way he desperately needed a distraction.

"Wanna go left?" He asked Ty, who still looked perplexed. "I usually go right but we could go left. You know, have an adventure of sorts?" Ty's cute brows raised and Kit smiled at the boy's interest.

"Let's go then," Ty agreed. They went the left path, walking silently. Ty didn't ask Kit to speak again, which Kit was thankful for. He didn't know if he could talk through the noise his heartbeat was making in his ears and throat and entire body.

At the end of the path was a small lake with a bridge to get to the other side. Kit realized regretfully that this is likely the lake from his memory and quickly made his way towards the bridge, wishing to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Kit, wait," Ty called behind him and Kit turned around expecting Ty to bring up the story. Instead Ty was looking at the edge of the lake, eyes wide and excited. Kit felt a surge of happiness at the expression he missed so much on Ty's face, but once he followed Ty's gaze the joy was extinguished.

"Swans," he cursed.

"Clearly," Ty said, delighted. He went towards them while Kit stood still, watching from a safe distance. Ty approached the edge of the lake, where the two swans were swimming in their awkward lazy circles. They were probably plotting something dirty, Kit could feel it. Swans couldn't be trusted and he had two scars on his right hand to prove it. One on the inside of his pointed finger from when he tried to pet the bird as a kid, and another one on his thumb from when he tried to get a soccer ball that rolled into a lake and a swan decided to chomp on another one of his fingers. They were evil birds.

All of a sudden the two swans twisted their alien necks towards Kit to look straight at him and Kit stepped back in shock only to trip a twig and land harshly on his butt. As if satisfied, the birds looked away again and Kit snarled.

"What are you doing?" Ty said in a low voice to not startle the evil birds. "You'll scare them away."

"Good," Kit said and Ty's brows jumped up.

"Do you not like animals?"

"I don't like this particular animal."

Ty frowned. "Are you kyknophobic?"

"Am I what now?"

"Are you afraid of swans," Ty rephrased.

Kit opened his mouth defensively. "I am not afraid."

"Why are you so far away, then?" Touché, Kit thought bitterly. He got up wiping the back of his pants and shoved his hands in his pockets before making his way to Ty, slowly... Very slowly. Ty watched him the entire time, until Kit was standing near him. "You are definitely afraid."

"I am not!" Kit exclaimed, hands sitting deep in his pockets. The swans weren't getting his fingers again. Not today.

"You're lying," Ty said turning to the swans and Kit looked at him, eyes widening at the small smile that has settled on Ty's lips.

"How are you so sure?" Kit said defensively, but also giddy at the glimpse of something he's been longing for.

"When you lie," Ty explained glancing at him for a moment, "your eyes get all wide and you don't blink." Kit was quiet for a moment and a little surprised at Ty making such a specific discovery about Kit. It felt personal. Kit hated getting personal, so why did he feel so pleased?

"It's not my fault swans are spawns of evil," he admitted in a small voice, hands burying even deeper into his pockets. "I mean, those necks can't be natural, right? It's all part of the devil's work."

"Actually-" Ty started but then quieted. When he didn't speak again Kit looked up only to see Ty smiling amusedly at him, though he immediately looked away when Kit caught him. Kit did too, staring pointedly at the ripples in the lake from the swans' movements. "It's okay to be afraid," Ty said finally. "Even of swans. They are grumpy birds."

Kit looked up with big eyes. "They are! I have two scars to prove it!" He said taking out his right hand to point them out. One of the swans made a noise, however, and Kit immediately hid his hand back into his pocket. "It's getting late," he started then, voice quick and panicky. "We should go. You know, parks late at night aren't safe for kids. I'll show them to you back at the institute. There's not enough light here to see them any-"

He was cut off by Ty's laughter and immediately shut up. Ty wasn't laughing loudly but he was smiling wide for the first time since Livvy's death. It was beautiful. He was so so beautiful. Kit tried smiling with him, but felt his mouth wobble. How embarrassing, he thought through burning eyes, he was really getting too emotional these days.

"Let's go back then," Ty said grin subsiding, a small smile still hovering on his lips. "Thank you for today, Kit. I'm really glad you're here with me," he said in a small voice and Kit smiled to himself. They walked side by side, hands hovering close together and Kit wanted so badly to take Ty's hand. More than he wanted to kiss him earlier and more than he wanted another picnic with his father and burnt barbecued chicken. He wanted it more than he's ever wanted anything, but his hand wouldn't move. Not yet, his mind chided, You're not ready yet. Kit wasn't sure if his mind meant just Kit or both him and Ty, but regretfully he agreed.

So for now he told Ty, "I'm glad I'm here, too." And he meant it. He really really meant it.