#or maybe she was just channeling the out-of-touch cluelessness she wanted for her character

[mctreeleth]

Today the Hot Messes went to Lily’s house to roll characters for a few-shot D&D campaign I said I would run for us. I was 20 minutes late, but I did bring food, and the books, and a whole lot of big plush dice that we rolled. Maddy was 40 minutes late, but anything under an hour is considered on time.

I explained all the classes and the races and we have ended up with a Dragonborn Ranger, a Tiefling Sorcerer, and a Gnome Bard. Weird party composition, but I prefer mysteries and shenanigans to too much combat anyway.

Our ranger is going for a classic dead parents trope: after her town was razed she hit the road and became a one-woman roaming security force up and down the region, grinding at heroism by beating up small-town bad guys till she gets good enough to find out what happened and wreak some vengence.

Our tiefling sorcerer had the kind of ideas you’d expect from someone who immediately picked tiefling sorcerer: a rich famous party girl whose family had lost everything, except they had become famous for running an exotic brothel, where clients could sleep with all sorts of unusual creatures, but the creatures were prisoners, and her character had known all about this, but been fine with it because its nice to be rich. The other players and I managed to divert that last bit at least, because having a PC that is complicit in sex trafficking is... maybe not the vibe I wanted for my fun little game, so instead she thought mummy and daddy were just old money from the dragon ancestor, and when she found out about the other stuff she decided to start a fire to try to help everyone escape, but it all went wrong in undefined ways, so now she is in a shitty little roadside tavern on the outskirts of town flirting with travelers for a meal and a drink and maybe to steal from them while they sleep.

And our Gnome Bard, who inexplicably rolled no stat lower than a 14. To justify it narratively we decided she’s in her 60s - not that old for a gnome, really, but old enough that she can be a leathery old lady at the tavern fleecing people at card games because hey, it’s just a little old lady, except this little old lady has AT LEAST +2 to everything. At level 3. We think we will probably avoid complicating it with children and grandchildren, but she is definitely someone’s cool aunt, and confers bardic inspiration with affirmations and vicious mockery by asking if their mother knows what they are doing.

And I have my PC as an NPC working behind the bar, a halfling druid who makes an amazing goodberry daiquiri, who is backpacking on her gap year.

The fact that our real-life group has a party name already makes me especially inteerst to find out if the PCs also become the Hot Messes. But we won’t be free to finish making the PCs till next month, so who knows?

[mrsgreenworld]

So, my one-shot has turned into a monster 🙈 Might become a multi-chapter fic. But for now, here's the first part.

It's a pure speculation as well as canon divergence because the grandma doesn't show up just yet.

I don't own any of the characters, all of them and the show belong to the writers, production company and FOX channel.

____________________________________________

A Technicality

Serkan was sitting at his desk in Art Life office, deep in thought, contemplating all the mess he had managed to create for and around himself as well as his already very fragile relationship with Eda.

It wasn't how he had imagined everything going when he had asked Eda for those three wishes. The first one was her unconditional trust, which Eda, sadly, couldn't give him. And Serkan started suspecting that it wasn't really about Eda not being ready to trust him again. Serkan had a feeling that Eda's pride and stubbornness were to blame as well as lingering hurt. She hadn't completely forgiven him. Her denying him what he so desperately craved - herself - was her form of punishment. But in her desire to punish and teach him a lesson, Eda was only causing both of them more distress. And that's what Serkan found so frustrating. That is what actually pushed him to these extreme measures.

"Oh god, what am I doing? Unbelievable. Look, Eda Yıldız, at what you're making me do" Serkan thought for the upteenth time in the last couple of days.

It started the night Eda fulfilled his second wish and came to him. Although it wasn't much of a surprise for him because he just knew it in his bones, felt it in every cell of his body - that she would come. Balca's visit, however, was unexpected. And the moment Serkan saw the woman at his doorstep, a crazy idea sprung up in his mind - to invite her in just to push Eda's buttons. He cringed internally at his own suggestion they had dinner but desperate time called for desperate measures. And Serkan really was desperate. Call it a manipulation, and maybe it was, maybe that's what Eda would claim to be yet another attempt at controlling her, but Serkan was literally starting to go out of his mind. He could no longer stand being so close to her, with no more secrets between them, yet sometimes it seemed they were oceans apart. Eda was slipping away, she had erected a wall around herself, not allowing Serkan to get too close. Every time he thought they had made a step forward, Eda threw them three steps back by bringing up the contract.

Oh, how he hated the damn thing! He wanted to burn it, scatter the ashes in the wind and then proceed with wiping out every electronic copy out of existence.

So, he was basically grasping at straws, when he decided that Balca's presence could help him finally make Eda crack. He wasn't going to act interested because, for one, it would never work, he wouldn't be able to pull it off while Eda even as much as breathed in his general direction. He had, however, noticed Balca's interest, and decided to play along with that, pretending to be clueless about her advances. So he acted polite whenever Balca found an excuse and came to him. He ignored her sitting too close to him, supported her with his arm when she lost her balanced, fought the urge to pull away when she leaned over him or brushed his arm. He turned a blind eye on supposedly accidental touches. And all of that seemed to have been paying off because Eda looked more and more like a ticking bomb ready to explode.

But then their non-date on the skating rink happened and everything was so perfect that Serkan, unable to contain his happiness and feeling light-headed, confessed to Eda in a rush his grand plan to stir jealousy and force her to claim him as her man. Everything Serkan earned after this confession was yet another slap across his face and a "You're unbelievable, Serkan Bolat!".

Today, in the office, Eda had been sulking and demonstratively ignoring him. Add Balca and her unwanted attention, which was getting too bold to remain comfortable, into the mix and what you got would be a very annoyed and exhausted Serkan Bolat.

A knock pulled Serkan from his thoughts. He looked up to see Melek. She smiled blindingly at him and gave him a small wave:

"You busy, Enişte?"

Serkan felt a smile forming on his face upon hearing the word "Enişte", which now between himself and Melek had turned into a form of endearment.

"No, I am free for you. Come in" Serkan said with fondness.

Melek came up to his work desk and pulled a chair to sit down.

"So, what is it? Is it Eda? Is something wrong with Eda?" Serkan felt panic spreading in his chest and looked past Melek, at the open office space, frantically searching for Eda.

He relaxed a little when he saw her sitting at her regular place, studying something closely on her computer.

"Calm down, Enişte. Everything is fine. Dada is fine. Well, apart from being an idiot, she's fine"

"Hm, what? An idiot?" Serkan asked, confused.

"Yes, you are both idiots. Sitting here, brooding, instead of just talking. Look, Dada trusts you. And she wanted to tell you this that night on the skating rink but then you told her that you had been making her jealous on purpose. You know our girl, of course she got pissed off. To her it just looked like another one of your attempts to control her"

"I know that, Melek! I know it was dumb and manipulative. I just... I just wanted her to finally stop hiding behind the contract and do something"

"I understand that. And, I think, Eda does too now. She sees how much you've been trying to change. But you don't have to or need to change change, you know. She's not expecting you to become a different person"

"I am trying to be a better person, for her"

"And I am happy to hear you say that. But... just make sure you're doing it for yourself too, ok? Because you know what Dada said to me yesterday?"

Melek looked at Serkan with a small secretive smile.

"She said:

"Yes, he is a robot and he drives me crazy half of the time with his robotic tendencies. But he's my robot, Melo, you know? And what if he suddenly stops being my robot? What if I come to the office one day and there's a... vanilla prince charming instead of my robot? Looking like him but not actually him".

And then she turned into a crying mess. But my point is - she loves you for who you are. Faults and all. She just has trouble telling you that. I guess a communication problem is something you two have in common"

Serkan just full-on belly-laughed at Melek's comment. He suddenly felt so much lighter. All the worry, doubt, fear and insecurities of the recent days just... vanished. A sense of calm certainty settled inside of him instead. He believed now that him and Eda were gonna be okay. No matter what. No matter who.

Serkan was just about to open his mouth and thank Melek for having put his mind and heart at ease, when another knock echoed in his office and he saw Balca.

"I am sorry for interrupting but I need to discuss something with you, Serkan" said Balca and waved a yellow folder in her hands at him.

"Well, I was actually leaving. You two do your work thing and I will also go, do some... work. See ya around, Enişte!" Melek rambled and jumped to her feet.

"Melek! Thank you! We will talk a bit more later, ok?" Serkan said when Melek was about to exit his office.

"Yeah, sure thing, Enişte!"

Serkan switched his attention to Balca.

"I am listening, Balca, what is it?"

The young woman came to Serkan's desk and pulled out the chair, previously occupied by Melek. Balca took a seat and rolled closer to Serkan, which made her elbow bump into Serkan's forearm. Serkan shifted uncomfortably and tried to focus on the documents Balca had put before him. Balca started explaining that several business magazines wanted to publish interviews with him. She also showed a couple of press releases for him to approve. All in all, she remained professional and the next ten minutes or so passed relatively quickly.

"Ok, you can get in touch with the magazine, tell them I am ready to give an interview. But only on the dates I have mentioned"

"Got it. I will let you know once I hear from them"

Balca started collecting the documents and Serkan looked past her, his eyes searching for Eda. She wasn't, however, at her computer. Serkan scanned the open office space but there was no sign of Eda. So, when Balca rolled back in her chair and stood up, Serkan also got to his feet.

"Are you leaving?" Balca asked.

"No, just want to stretch my legs a bit. Shall we?" Serkan answered and motioned to the doors.

They exited Serkan's office together, with Balca walking closely. Serkan felt Balca's eyes on the side of his face but ignored the weight of her gaze. He noticed Melek sitting at one of the desks and approached her quickly.

"Melek!"

"Enişte?"

"Where is Eda?"

"Oh, I think she went to get a coffee"

"Ok, thank you"

Serkan moved in the direction of their office cafeteria when he noticed Balca following him. He stopped abruptly and Balca almost collided with his back. Serkan turned to face the woman and asked:

"Is there something else you want, Balca?"

"No, I think we've discussed everything" she answered with a smile.

"Then where are you going? I think you wanted to call the magazine and arrange that interview"

"Yes, of course, I will do just that. But I wanted to get some coffee first"

Serkan nodded and motioned for Balca to go forward. They entered the cafeteria together and Serkan immediately noticed Eda at the coffee machine. Eda heard approaching steps and turned her head in the direction of the sound. She visibly tensed upon seeing Balca and Serkan together.

"Eda, can I also get a cup of coffee?" asked Balca, coming to stand beside Eda at the coffee machine.

Even Serkan raised his eyebrows at that.

"By all means, be my guest" Eda motioned to the coffee maker with one of her hands.

She took a half-filled cup in her other hand and brushed past Balca. Eda moved to leave the cafeteria but Serkan quickly followed behind and caught her by the arm.

"Can we talk for a moment, please?" he said in a hushed whisper.

"There's nothing to talk about" Eda responded stubbornly.

"I think there is"

Serkan took Eda's hand and, threading their fingers together, pulled her in the direction of the stairs.

"What are you doing? Let go of my hand! Where are you taking me?" Eda protested.

"I am taking you to my other office on the second floor so that we could talk in private"

"Talk in private? I don't want to talk in private!"

Serkan stopped and turned to Eda with an exasperated sigh.

"You will talk to me"

Serkan pulled on Eda's hand but she refused to move.

"Eda, stop being a child. Let's go"

"I don't want to go. What are you gonna do? Throw me over your shoulder and carry me there?"

"You know, it's a great idea actually" he said dead serious.

Eda's eyes widened comically.

"Don't be ridiculous. Are you crazy? You cannot do such a thing"

"Oh, I can, Eda Yıldız. Because my patience is wearing thin"

"You won't do this"

"Try me"

Eda lifted her hand, still holding a coffee cup, higher.

"You wouldn't dare! I have hot coffee in my hand!"

"So what? You can splash it in my face all you want but then I will definitely throw you over my shoulder"

For the first time since Serkan got to know Eda Yıldız, she seemed lost for words. Serkan stepped closer to her, looked into her big eyes and said, softening his voice:

"Please, let's go and talk"

He tried to pour all his love, all his longing for her into his gaze. He mouthed a "Please" again. Eda's defences crumbled and she nodded quietly.

Never letting go of Eda's hand, Serkan led her upstairs to his office. Once they were inside, Serkan locked the door to prevent anyone from barging in. He moved to the couch and Eda followed, taking a seat beside him. Serkan shifted so that he was facing Eda who was now awkwardly nursing a cup of coffee between her hands. She brought it to her lips the same moment Serkan said:

"So, I am your robot"

Eda choked on her lukewarm coffee and started coughing violently. Serkan cursed at himself and took Eda's cup from her hands.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

He put her cup on the coffee table and handed her a tissue. Eda wiped at her hands and face, still coughing.

"Let me get you some water"

Serkan grabbed a water bottle from the coffee table and uncapped it for her.

"Here, drink this" he said, offering her the bottle.

Eda took it and made a couple of long gulps.

"Thank you" she finally managed to say.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I am, I'm fine" Eda nodded.

"So..."

Serkan rubbed his hands together and looked at Eda pointedly.

"Oh, shut up!" Eda exclaimed in embarrassment.

"I didn't say anything!"

"Your smug face is saying plenty"

"Well, I cannot help myself" Serkan said with a wide smile, his dimples showing.

"Melo told you, didn't she? Of course she told you! Offf...ya!"

Eda covered her face with both of her hands. Serkan moved from the couch and onto his knees, directly in front of Eda. He took her hands in his and pulled them from her face.

"Hey, look at me" he said softly.

Eda lifted her face, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, and looked into Serkan's eyes.

"There's nothing to feel embarrassed about because nothing about what you said is silly or untrue. I am your robot. Yours only" Serkan told her with conviction.

Eda's face lit up with happiness, adoration and so much love. She cupped both of his cheeks with her hands, her eyes finding his.

"I love you, you know that? For who you are. Just the way you are. You don't need to change for me to love you" she told him.

"But I want to change. I want to be better for you" Serkan said.

"Well, if you want to... Just don't do this because you think it's something I want from you. All I need is you. Your love, your trust, your respect. Let's give each other all of that, ok? If we trust and support each other and talk to each other, we will be okay"

"We will, right?"

"Yes" Eda nodded with a smile and pressed her forehead to his.

Serkan closed his eyes, just living and breathing in the moment. They were sitting like this, in comfortable silence, for several minutes when Serkan finally whispered:

"You want to know my third wish?"

Eda chuckled and pulled away slightly.

"You know I do, I am curious like that" she said with a smile.

Serkan reached into his pants pocket and pulled out Eda's flower ring. He heard Eda gasp: "Serkan!"

"I know now is not the right time. But very soon, when you're ready, I want you to put this ring back on and never take it off again. And once it's back on your finger, I want to put another one here" he pulled her left hand from his face and ran his thumb over her ring finger.

Serkan watched Eda's eyes fill with tears when he asked in a whisper: "Okay?"

Eda nodded and whispered back: "Okay".

___________________________________________

The rest of the day went in a blur. Serkan felt like a teenager. Only he never felt this light, happy and carefree when he actually was a teen.

He was basically useless at work, unable to concentrate, so he just stopped trying and was watching Eda instead. From time to time he would ask her to come into his office. She pretended to be exasperated but the smiles she couldn't contain betrayed her.

Balca came by several times. She caught on his mood change immediately:

"You seem different. Happier. You weren't like that in the morning"

"Well, I received some good news"

"That's wonderful! Care to share?"

"It's personal"

The second Balca left his office with a tight smile and a dry nod, Serkan's eyes drifted to Eda but she wasn't at her desk. Serkan got to his feet and went out of his office, in search for Eda. He peaked into the conference room but found it empty and went to check the cafeteria. The only person there was Melek.

"Melek!"

"Enişte!"

"Have you seen Eda?"

"Hm... no. The last time I saw her she was working at her computer"

"Well, she isn't there now"

"She was going to leave earlier because she's got classes at the university but it's not the time yet"

There was clicking of heels and both Serkan and Melek turned to the source of the sound only to see Balca.

Serkan brought his attention back to Melo:

"Well, if you see her, please, tell her that I am looking for her"

"Will do, Enişte!" Melek responded enthusiastically and retreated, without even acknowledging Balca's presence.

Serkan moved to the coffee maker. Taking a cup for himself, he turned to Balca, who had taken a seat at the counter, and asked:

"Coffee?"

"Yes, thank you"

Serkan took another cup, placed it next to his own and switched on the coffee maker which started gurgling.

"Can I ask you something?" he heard Balca say.

Serkan looked at her and nodded silently.

"Why does Melek keep calling you her Enişte?" Balca asked, confused.

Serkan furrowed his brows, puzzled by the audacity of the question.

"Because I am her Enişte"

"But you and Eda are not married"

"Not on paper, not yet"

Serkan heard a telling click of the coffee machine and turned to fill the cups with hot liquid. He faced Balca again, who was watching him with an unreadable expression, and placed one of the coffees in front of her.

"Anyway, it's just a technicality. Because it feels like we are. Married, I mean" Serkan said and took his cup.

He held it up in a "Cheers!" move and dropped a "Enjoy your coffee" before exiting the cafeteria.

Once Serkan entered the open work space, he noticed Eda immediately. He approached her desk with: "Eda? Can you come into my office for a minute?"

Eda nodded silently and stood from her seat, following him. Once they were in his office, Serkan placed his coffee on the desk and turned to face Eda. She came to stand before him, but there was too much space between them, so Serkan took her hand and pulled Eda to him. She stumbled forward and basically fell on his chest with a chuckle.

"What are you doing? We're at work, remember?"

"Oh, I do. Otherwise I would be kissing you right now"

Eda's cheeks turned red.

"Stop it" she whisper-yelled at him.

"Why? That's true"

"You're such a dork"

"And you're perfect" Serkan said, meaning it with every cell in his body, every drop of his blood.

Eda shook her head with a smile:

"Romantic robot"

"Your romantic robot"

"Yes, my romantic robot" she agreed and added in a whisper: "I love you, Serkan Bolat"

"Our feelings are mutual, Eda Yıldız" he whispered back.

They kept staring at each other with dopey smiles on their faces for several more minutes before Serkan asked:

"Where have you been? I missed you"

"Don't be ridiculous, I just went to the ladies' room. I was away for like five minutes"

"Well, felt like an hour to me"

"You're hopeless. What are you gonna do when I leave in an hour and you don't see me until tomorrow morning?"

Serkan looked at her confused:

"What do you mean I won't see you until tomorrow morning? I thought we would meet after you finish your classes"

"Well, I finish quite late and then I have to go home because I promised Hala to help her with something"

"Well, I could pick you up after you help your aunt"

"I think it will be too late for us to go anywhere"

"Then we will just spend time at my place. You could stay the night" Serkan suggested, licking at his lips nervously.

Eda bit on her bottom lip and Serkan's eyes zeroed in on it, as if he was being hypnotized.

"Hey!" Eda's fingers snapped right in front of his face.

"Hm? Yes?"

"I am saying: we will spend the whole day together tomorrow. And I promise that we will leave work together and then do whatever you want or go wherever you want. And..." Eda moved closer to Serkan to whisper into his ear: "I might stay the night".

Serkan choked on air as well as his own saliva. Eda moved away from him with a suggestive smile.

The next hour was spent daydreaming and sneaking glances at Eda. Then Pırıl came with yet another crisis and Serkan got a bit distracted, managing to finally focus on something for the first time during the day. When at some point Serkan had a chance to lift his head from the papers, scattered before him, he noticed that Eda was gathering her things, getting ready to leave. He was about to stand and go to her, but Eda shook her head "No" with a smile and motioned for him to continue with what he was doing. She just looked at him for a moment and then mouthed: "I love you" - add blew him a tiny kiss.

Serkan grinned at her and mouthed back his own "I love you".

The rest of the day was surprisingly busy. By the time Serkan had dealt with all problems at the office, it was rather late. He texted Eda to call him once she was free. Then he drove home, went about his evening routine, checking his phone every now and then. No messages or missed calls from Eda. Serkan was getting anxious, when he finally heard a tell-tale sound of an incoming video call. Blowing out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding, Serkan answered his phone and finally felt himself relax, when he saw Eda's face, with her blinding smile and eyes that were dancing with mischief. They talked until Eda literally fell asleep holding a phone in her hand. Serkan looked at her peaceful sleeping face for several minutes before he finally disconnected the call. He felt uneasy, however. The moment he could no longer see her face, a strange nagging feeling settled somewhere in his stomach. He did his best to ignore it and tried to sleep.

____________________________________________

The morning found Serkan Bolat completely beaten. He practically hadn't slept all night. When he did manage to doze off, he was pulled from sleep by a strange feeling. It was a physical discomfort, reaction akin to anaphylactic shock that he had experienced only once in his life. Going into full-on panic mode, a hypochondriac that he was, Serkan called his family doctor. Once Delek Hanım came and examined him, she told him that he was completely fine physically and his condition was purely psychological. Serkan argued that there was nothing that could have triggered basically a panic attack. Quite the opposite - things were finally looking up for him and Eda. He had her back.

"Well, this can be the reaction to some impending stress. Maybe there's something important, some event coming that you might be worried about?" Delek Hanım asked.

Serkan just shook his head. He then thanked the doctor and after she left, immediately dialed Eda's number. She didn't pick up.

"It's fine, everything is fine" Serkan mumbled to himself while looking through his call log.

Once he found Melek's name, he started a call. Melo picked up on the third ring:

"Good morning, Enişte!"

"Good morning, Melek. I called Eda but she didn't answer. Is everything ok?"

"She's probably driving, that's why she didn't pick up. She left early today. Ayfer Abla had some special orders at the flower shop so Dada volunteered to help. She will go straight to the office once she deals with the flowers"

Serkan calmed down a bit after having heard that but there still was uncomfortable tightness in his chest. He was rubbing at the spot while he was driving to work, but it only got worse once Serkan arrived at the office. A tie around his neck started choking him so he had to get rid of the damn thing.

Melek came but there was still no sign of Eda.

Alarms started going off in Serkan's head when a concerned-looking Ceren showed up. Serkan came up to her while she was talking to Melo.

"What's going on? Where is Eda?"

The girls looked at each other, then at Serkan, and Ceren said:

"We don't know. None of us can reach her. She's not answering any of the calls or messages"

Serkan almost growled in frustration when his phone started ringing. He pulled it from his pocket hustily, only to see that it was his mother calling. He picked up with: "Mom, it's not the right time, I will call..." but stopped dead when he heard a sob and his mother's weak "Serkan, dear...".

"Mom?..." he asked timidly and didn't recognize his own voice.

Because it wasn't his voice, it wasn't the voice of a grown-up man, it was a boy's voice, the one a scared child would have.

"Mom, please, tell me she is okay"

"I am so sorry, dear..."

His phone slipped from his fingers and cluttered to the floor.

(to be continued... maybe 👀)

[jodiwalker]

These Are the Best Things Happening on ‘Game of Thrones’ Right Now, Part II

Hey y'all, something bad is coming on Game of Thrones, so just real quick, let's remember the good times in episodes 3 and 4, when teenage assassins were reuniniting with their teenage ruler sisters and teenage psychic brothers. When Littlefinger was getting ragged on so hard. When Jon and Davos had nothing better to do than chalk up the cave walls of Dragonstone with little bitty zombie drawings to prove a point and flirt with Missandei, respectively.

There were Catspaw Dagger references for the most careful of watchers, Jon saying "I'm not a Stark" as a Targaryen dragon flies overhead for the mildly observant viewer, and there's Jon and Dany touching each other's wrists in caves for everyone else who's just like, I don't understand what's happening here, I've never understood what's happening here, I don't care what's happening here, but I will be here until it's all over and Dany has married her nephew, SO HELP ME R'HLLOR.

So, once again, this is not a recap, not a review, just a simple, definitive, and all-encompassing list of The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones right now (which is to say last week and the week before):

Almost Everyone Playing the Game of Thrones Is a Baby-Child

It suddenly became clear in episode 3 that while the lead characters in Game of Thrones don't seem particularly young when they are commanding their armies and large, magic animals—when they come face to face in a throne room, they suddenly seem like two particularly formidable and hormonal teenagers facing off at a Model United Nations simulation. Except, y'know, one of them recently died and was resurrected by a thousand year old sexy priestess, and the other has a bunch of giant toddler dragons and, like, ended slavery, I think.

I'm, of course, speaking of Dany and Jon, the two most popular rulers at Westeros High. Now, since Kit Harrington and Emelia Clarke are each 30, you wouldn’t think they would seem that young…but they're also both, like, 5'1 if they're an inch, so when they first came face-to-face in episode 3, they more often resembled a couple of adorable Shiba Unus tussling over a Kong ball and sniffing each other's butts, instead of two rulers arguing over getting to save the world in the specific way they want to.

In that sense, their first meeting was a particularly precious reminder of how young they still are. Yes, all the GoT kids were aged up three or four years from the books at the start of the series, but Dany and Jon are still only 22 or 23 as they fight to save the world from heretofore unknown evils—and by that, I of course mean Queen Cersei making ever woman get her goofy pageboy haircut. 

When Missandei announces Dany like one of Blair Waldorf's be-headbanded lackeys, Game of Thrones briefly turned into a Disney Channel Original movie, bringing along all the clashing dynamics of darkness and precociousness a DCOM denotes. You can practically hear Missy saying, "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn, President of the Student Council, rightful member of the A/B Honor Roll, rightful owner of a used Ford Prius she got as a reward for said A/B Honor Roll, Haver of an Afterschool Volunteer Internship at a Veterinary Office, Breaker of Bullies, the Sister of a College Sophomore Who Lets Her Wear His Old Fraternity Formal Shirts So People Think She's Cool, Voted Most Likely to Play with Fire and Like It a Little Too Much, and the Survivor of a Particularly Bad Case of Strep Throat Last Year.

You scared yet Jon Snow, you creepy-loner-who-doesn't-know-he's-hot-and-smokes-cigarettes-behind-the-school-but-secretly-makes-all-As-and-has-a-heart-of-gold-Patrick-Verona-lookin'-ass, you?

If Dany hasn't stood up on the Iron Throne and tearfully choked her way through a rendition of the "10 Things I Hate About Jon Snow" by the end of all this, I will be shocked. Because, as we will discuss later, Dany doesn't hate King Jon (King Snow? No, that doesn't sound right, does it Davos)…not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

The Stark Children Are Happy…Well, As Happy As a Live Stark Child Can Be

Of course that's not even mentioning the actual children roaming around Winterfell with severe PTSD and a recently developed case of the huggies. Sansa's running the Stark show at Winterfell while Jon is away at Dragostone giving up all his weapons and doing arts and crafts in the underground caves, and in her time as a prisoner of various evil families, she seems to have picked up quite a knack for organizing grain supplies and commanding that leather be added to armor because the dipshits apparently haven't heard that WINTER HAS COME.

I thought Sansa would be cool for like an episode or two and then go back to being dreadful, but her recent transition from Little Sister to Big Sister inside the walls of Winterfell seems to be suiting her well. When Meera finally brings Brann back home and after dragging his 6'4 ass all over the North, she gets exactly zero sibling hugs because her brother died protecting Brann—justice (and a warm shower) for Meera—but the newly minted Three Eyed Raven gets a sweet embrace from big sister Sansa. 

He returns the love by informing Sansa that now he can see everything that's ever happened in the world, including the worst night of her life when she was forced to marry Ramsay and he raped her.

Hey Brann, I know it's not your fault that Jaime Lannister pushed you out of a window, and your dad got beheaded, and Theon fake-torched you, all setting you on a fan-least-favorite path toward becoming the Three Eyed Raven but—you totally suck! Someone else can tell Jon he's a Targaryen if it means you having to be all weird to your sisters now that you're finally, gloriously, wonderfully reunited. In this extended high school analogy I've been drawing, Brann is the kid who took one philosophy class at the community college for extra credit and thinks he knows everything now. You don't know shit, Brann!

Okay, fine, Brann knows some shit, and is obviously intended for some higher purpose in this game of thrones or he surely wouldn't have been—quite literally—dragged through all seven seasons. I just wish that purpose was being a nice supportive brother to his super-survivor sisters, which brings us to…

ARYA IS BACK AT WINTERFELL AND SHE SPARRED WITH BRIENNE AND MAYBE THEY CAN GO LADY-ARMOR SHOPPING TOGETHER NOW, WHAT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD?!

As it turns out, the already disparate Stark children have become even more contrasted with time and (grueling, awful, traumatic, painful, oftentimes unbelievable) circumstances. Sansa, who was a pretty girl who wanted to marry a prince, is now the Wardeness of Westeros' largest region with a keen political mind and a dude who would fucking love to marry her that she's constantly mocking. Arya was a tomboy who had a real good time at her afterschool swordsmanship lessons, and has since grown into a stone-cold assassin who cuts people's faces off and magic-pastes them onto her own face, then feeds those recipient of the face-cutting to his own family, and then also kills that entire family. Brann has turned from a boy who liked to ride horses into Westeros' creepy Miss Cleo, and also, he no longer goes by Brann, and also, is a pretty constant dick to the women in his life.

That all kind of made me love their reunions even more though. Arya saying, "Do I have to call you Lady Stark?" as her first greeting to Sansa was incredible. Sansa replying, "Yes," very much in the way of Old Sansa, but then turning around and hugging Arya and bonding with her about how much pain they've lived through and how everything they used to know is dead except for each other was even better. And Sansa telling Arya that "Brann has visions," in the same tone of voice you might warn a guest that your little brother has recently gotten really into making his own chainmail was EVEN BETTER.  There was also Jon all the way over at Dragonstone being all "She's startin' to let on" when Tyrion says that Sansa is smarter than she lets on—love those two, sure hope Littlefinger doesn't turn them against each other and shatter my heart into a million pieces!

But simply the best was watching those three rough and tumble Starks wheel and walk their way back from the Weirwood tree and into their home at Winterfell, down a couple family members, not really sure of who they've become, and probably on the brink of being murdered by ice zombies, sure…but they're also together—three lone wolves restored to a pack—and, for now, they're alive.

Of course, it is hard to ignore all that side eye Sansa was giving Arya as she sorted that out that Lil' Sis super-duper was not kidding about having a murder list. But Sansa isn't on said murder list, and hey, she also once fed a dude to his (canine) children, so maybe this girl gets it. Maybe everything will be fine and once Jon and Dany save the world, they can all go in on a family beach house together and parasail on dragons. Speaking of…

THAS-A-MUTHAFUGGIN-LOOT-TRAAAAAAAIN

I've always thought of Weiss and Benioff as kind of cool young dudes who were surprisingly hot and surprisingly married to Amanda Peet (which I would want to brag about in Emmy speeches too, no shade). But for some reason, recently, they've started to seem more and more to me like kind of clueless dads who, were we ever to see their legs in the after-show interviews, would be wearing pristine New Balances with loosely fitted light-wash jeans.

I don't know if it's because I recently fell into a deep dark YouTube black hole where I watched clips of a panel where Sophie Tuner and Maisie Williams interviewed B&W and just keep making fun of them for being old (of note, Sophie Turner is really funny). Or if it's because they're quite literally getting older and making this show where they have to spend three million dollars to light 20 real people on fire in order to make it look like 1,000 fake people are being lit on fire has probably aged them an extra decade.

But mostly I think it's because now that they're out from under the shadow of GRRM they can stop pretending they're dead inside and let their TV pathos flags fly, and that alone makes them seem a lot less hard than they used to. Them talking about how Dany and Jon it's so obvious Jon and Dany have developed feelings for each in the cave scene was just adorable. Guys! They've had like, two conversations, and neither one has made a single inappropriate "bend the knee" joke which they obviously would if they were two real life 19-year olds falling in luv in a cave.

All this is to say that, I am so thankful to them for bringing GoT to my television, but truly, only two dumb dads could have taken this insane, explosive, dragon-fueled battle and called it…"The Loot Train Attack." Or as I prefer to call it: the mutha fuckin' LOOOOOT TRAAAAAAIN!!!

There is nothing that I can personally write that would make the battle where Dany brought dragons to a sword fight at the counsel of Jon any better than it already was, so I'll be brief: It is in episode 4 of season 7, at the end of the Loot Train—LOOT TRAAAAAAAIN!—battle, as Jaime charges Daenerys with a giant spear, that it became clear just how impossibly complex this web of character has become. It used to be impossible to root for anyone because they were all either evil or definitely going to die in the next episode exactly because they weren't evil. No more.

I had no idea who I would choose to live and die between Jaime and Dany. And that is perhaps unique to me because in this game of thrones, everyone can choose their own winner and we can all be simultaneously right and wrong. Just as the people of Westeros are born into certain houses, we all have our allegiances. But the time is coming for us to also make important choices, because things can only be happy reunions and convenient river dives and spare Sand Snake killings and flirty-cave-fun-times for so long. Sides will be chosen, alliances will be made, and main characters will start getting their heads chopped off again. Weiss and Bennioff might be out dads, but if TV has taught me anything—and it has taught me literally everything—it's that tough love is the most rewarding form of parenting.

And also that women always keep their bra on during sex—except for right here on H-B-O!

[thepeterman]

quiet now,

you’ll miss it

It is hot.

And not just regular, oh sweet baby Jesus someone please find me an air conditioner stat hot, no. This was hell hath finally descended upon us, nothing you mere mortals could do will stop this fiery fury type hot. The kind of heat that eats you from the inside out, and slowly drills at your sanity.

So of course, logically, Rapunzel planted herself in her beanbag chair, grabbed a worryingly old bag of peas from the freezer, and fished her tiny fan from the attic. Which, she doesn't think, should be able to disgrace the names of good, fully functioning fans with it's blasphemes title.

She's three pages into her newest Spider-Man comic, and three inches drenched in sweat, when her window is opened.

In the past, Rapunzel has wondered if their admittedly flawed system would let undesirables into her bedroom while she least suspects it, but then she decided she'd take her chances. There is something about having Hiccup have his own way into her house that makes something pleasant settle in her stomach.

He whistles before stumbling his way in, tripping over gangly limbs and his natural nemesis. Air.

"I can't believe you've braved the outside. You sir, have earned a seat in the chair." She hums without looking up at him.

Hiccup chuckles dryly, like he wants to be annoyed but can't, and falls unceremoniously into her side, shifting so their bodies fit comfortably. Curling in on each other, as she offers him one side of her comic.

He smiles gently, reaching over and producing two absolutely stunning popsicles, one of the famed spider, and the other none other than SpongeBob himself. "I heard the truck. Figured you'd probably be slow roasting in the fortress." He has the decency to look bashful, as they both know he lives too far to have gotten these on his street. And from the steep rise and fall of his chest, Rapunzel can tell he rode his bike all this way.

Grinning softly, she leans up and kisses his cheek, shyly taking the extended popsicle. "I can't believe I thought this was gonna be a bad day."

---

It is art day, and Mother isn't taking this as serious as she should be. Rapunzel's been sitting on the steps, frowning at her stupid tie, and super cool Sailor Moon backpack for the past ten minutes, just waiting for her mom to finish her makeup.

"We're going to be late!" Rapunzel screams, knowing it will be useless. She thinks, perhaps, it is time for her to bring up the subject of the bus.

By the time she gets to school, Ms. Ellie just smiles gently at her Very Adamant excuse for being late, as Rapunzel thought it necessary to explain the note her mother left. Being ushered to her seat, she noticed a boy where there was not one, previous.

He had shaggy brown hair that fell over his face, as he leaned over the desk, concentrated on his drawing.

Which she should be, too. Right.

And as soon as she got lost in the sound of her crayon hitting the page, and losing herself in between now and her canvas, someone has to ruin it. Because, apparently, that is just the way Rapunzel's life works.

It's Snotlout, leaned over her desk, his eyebrows creased at her picture. She feels a kind of self consciousness spike through her veins, that's never existed in the same space as her art. The very same feeling she gets when she works up the courage to look in a mirror.

"Stars don't do that, you dummy." His mouth twists, a cruel happy little thing, that kind of makes Rapunzel's blood boil.

She doesn't think she's anything like him. The kind of kid that gets mad over the small things, but she is just six, after all.

"They aren't stars, duh!" She answers back, defensive, trying for the same meanness in his tone, but doesn't quite manage it.

"Oh yeah, what are they then?"

And she's stuck, staring at her picture. An open field, with her and the lights. The ones that fill her dreams, and float in her imagination. Rapunzel thinks about them so much, that sometimes she wonders if maybe she could touch them. She knows they aren't stars, she's seen them on Tv and read about them in books, she just isn't sure what exactly they're called, either.

He huffs, triumphant, "See-"

"Lanterns." A quiet voice from behind them speaks up, squeaky and shy.

She whips around to face the boy she was staring at earlier, this time face to face with his deep green eyes. He has freckles and a scratch and he reminds her of the forest and open skies.

"What?" Snotlout demands, since his default setting is annoyed.

"They're called lanterns. Everybody knows they aren't stars." He talking to Snotlout, but keeps glancing to her every time his voice wanes. Speaking a little louder when she smiles at him.

Snotlout looks thoroughly downsized, marching back to his seat without another word. The gratefulness bursting of her chest is a little hard to contain, Rapunzel wonders if this is what those locked up princesses feel.

With a glance to Ms. Ellie, she turns fully in her chair, folding her arms on his desk. "Thanks! I'm Rapunzel, by the way." She says brightly, reaching over to shake his hand.

"Hiccup." He responds, timidly taking her hand.

"What an odd name for a Knight."

---

"I just don't see the point of it." Hiccup whines, even as he's lacing up his boots. He looks out to the ice so anxiously, that Rapunzel has to bite back a smile.

"It's fun, Hicceroni. That's all the reason we need."

Winter break is probably the best thing to happen to Rapunzel this year. High school has been exhausting on the both of them, as a result, she rarely sees her best friend anymore. With a week full of nothing but free time and endless possibility, they spent their time wisely. Playing video games in his room, and catching up on shows they've vowed to only complete together (may they be spared by the All Powerful Cancel gods).

But as they were flicking through channels, and Rapunzel hovered the kids networks, they came across Ice Princess.

"Please don't."

Rapunzel chooses to ignore her clueless best friend. Who has no concept of taste, all of a sudden if he can't appreciate this piece of cinematic brilliance.

"Ice skating. Who even does that?" He grumbles. She supposes they're over looking the twenty minutes he has engrossed himself into the movie.

"Um lots of people? Figure skaters? Everyone?"

"Not everyone."

Rapunzel feels like she's been punched in the gut. "Please tell me I am hearing this wrong, Hicmister. Tell me you've been ice skating."

"Um?"

And here they are. At the Winter festival as children scream and giggle on the ice, and couples get cuddly in the cold and that one guy shows off years of forced childhood lessons.

Hiccup watches them all with a pout. It's adorable.

"Alrighty. Class' in session, kids. Lets get out there."

Rapunzel tugs at his hand, as he stays firmly planted on the seat, "I'm going to embarrass myself."

"Nobody is going to be paying attention to you. It'll be just you and me out there," he doesn't look the least bit swayed, "And you embarrass yourself in front of me all the time." That, at least, gets an amused eye roll and resigned sigh. 

"Atta boy."

The next hour is spent crashing into random people, a few dozen butt tumbles, and snowflakes falling in eyelashes.

Rapunzel grips Hiccup's hands, effortlessly skating backward, giggling at the horror stricken face Hiccup makes every time he so much as stumbles. "I think you're getting the hang out it." She grins up at him.

Hiccup laughs, disbelief all over his face, "You know, I think I am!"

"Alright, I'm gonna let go..."

"Rapunzel, don't!"

He yanks on her hands, somehow pushing them both to the ground as they lose their balance. It's a mess of limbs and awkward head butts, as Hiccup falls forward directly in her lap. His hands are on the ice, head on her collarbones. Rapunzel instinctively wraps her around around his middle, butt surely bruised.

It's silent for a moment, and then they meet eyes, bursting out in laughter, leaning on each other for support.

"So...hot chocolate?" She suggests.

"You're paying."

---

"-it's all about gravity!" Hiccup excitedly explains, gesturing wildly with his hands as they walk down the street.

Rapunzel sips her Capri sun saved from lunch, listening intently. She doesn't have much to add, but it seems cool. "You're such a dork." She laughs, anticipating his indignant squawk. "What do we need to build it?"

Hiccup closes his mouth, cutting off what was going to be another tirade, surprise coloring his features. She wonders how many people have told him his ideas are cool. She wonders if maybe she's the first.

His gentle smile warms her heart in a way the summer sun was never able to.

---

"Now tell me that's not an engaging character! Emotional turmoil, heart in two places. As he has to choose over his wife--the only family he has left, and his best friend. The person who raised him! Sure, maybe his Fall could have been better handled, but movies have limited time. And if you're telling me Obi-Wan and Anakin's fight isn't the best thing you've ever seen you're lying-"

"On your right." Rapunzel hums, watching the screen where she knew Hiccup wasn't.

"Thanks. What was I saying?"

"Mustafar."

"Oh right. The music alone-"

---

"Please tell me I am not seeing what I think I'm seeing." Rapunzel groans, leaning back on Hiccup's door.

He feigns a remorseful look that is just for her sanity, as he pets the midnight black, one way ticket out of the dorms. The dog, cruel little cute thing, turns it's huge green eyes on her.

Disgusting.

"I couldn't just leave him, Punz."

Dumbfounded, Rapunzel gestures to the tiny messy living space, and second bed shoved in the corner. "Well I don't know if you've noticed, bud, but you can't just keep him, either."

"I've been thinking about that. Jack's not gonna tell, probably. And even if I get caught, Rider's pretty cool, he hardly ever deals out maximum punishments. Besides, I've got you." He lays it on thick, there at the end. Giving her his best puppy dog eyes, which somehow haven't lost power with the scruff and angled jaw.

Going for the gut, Rapunzel respectfully commends him. Solid A, manipulating skills.

In the end, Rapunzel was going to say yes as soon as she stepped through the door. She is helpless against double puppy eyes, and with an actual puppy.

"What's his name?" She sighs, trying hard not to sound as defeated as she feels.

By Hiccup's grin, she failed. Miserably. "Toothless."

"That's it. We're finding him a new home, you are clearly unfit."

---

"So, you see any ladies ya diggin'?"

Hiccup looks up from his book, eyebrow quirked. "Alright Kenickie, here in modern society we speak people talk."

Rapunzel rolls her eyes and drops into the seat beside him, laying her entire body against his. "Prom is coming up."

He snorts, tucking his hand behind her head, and absently playing with her hair. "This explains your weird caveman talk how...?"

"Hiccup! Neither of us have dates, and as a connoisseur of popular media, this is the biggest travesty to ever descend upon our adolescent lives!"

"Will we ever recover?"

"No! We will forever be doomed to our stag prom statuses."

"Is this a reversible curse or...?"

"Hiccup! You're not seeing the serious business levels of our situation!" Rapunzel frowns, leaning forward to look him in the eyes.

He sighs, kissing her forehead, Rapunzel immediately slacks back into him, and calms.

"I kind of just always assumed we were going together. I was even planning on asking you this weekend."

That--she forgets how to breathe--is not something she knew. With the way he talks about Astrid, Rapunzel thought Hiccup was asking her. Half the school thought they were dating, and he'd take this opportunity to prove them wrong.

(And maybe, sometimes. Sometimes she thought that too, in the quiet comfortable moments, and only in the privacy of her own brain. She thought, maybe.)

There's a thousand things she can say, but doesn't. Because most of them don't actually have words, "What were you planning on doing?" She can feel her heartbeat in her fingertips.

"I was thinking on winning the high scores in Space Invaders and spelling it out." He says a little helplessly, shrugging like he hadn't put much thought into it. "Thought we could get ice cream and color coordinate."

It was such a Hiccup thing to do. It was such a painfully them thing to do, that Rapunzel has to fight off hysterical tears.

"Well don't let me stop you, Hiccster." She answers after a moment, snuggling into his side, as he smiles and resumes his book.

---

Rapunzel tunes out Toothless as he barks at their fireplace--his favorite thing to do (they have a working theory that he was a dragon in a previous life). Instead she concentrates on getting the daisies to sit right in Hiccup's hair.

He plays with the strings of his hoodie, conveniently on her body, as he mouths along to Clueless. It is just starting to get cold, and since they started middle school they've watched Clueless in the beginning of the the school year. Even after school stopped being a thing for them.

It's comfortable and quiet and Rapunzel lets her mind wonder. Somewhere between the Cher and Josh couch scene and her finally finishing the crown, Rapunzel has a realization.

"We're totally dating aren't we?"

Hiccup is pulled out of the movie, lifting his head from her lap, and watching with that calculating gaze of his. "Do you wanna stop?" It's asked as calmly as ever, but she hears the panic in his voice.

Urging his head back down, she settles her fingertips behind his ears, and smiles down at him. "And break up a ten year whirlwind romance? Are you kidding me?"

He smiles this brilliant, blinding smile and angles up to press his slightly chapped lips to hers, and something clicks into place. ______________

a very quick hiccunzel thing written in the wee hours of the morning, that’s actually just between this bigger project I’m steadily working on.  

(that’s right boys and girls. a very long hiccunzel thing that i don’t actually know if anyone is gonna read?? if you are could you maybe tell me?) 

[sueboohscorner]

#LegionFX Chapter 6 "It's Only Pie" Recap & News

Episode Grade: 9

To the Legion of Legion, to us who we are many, Congratulations on season 2!  From the looks of things, 2018 will give us just enough time to digest season 1. ‘Legion’ Renewed by FX for Season 2The cable channel announced the renewal Wednesday ahead of the premiere of the series’ sixth episode. The season finale is slated to air March 29.

As Chapter 6 enters we watch Lenny interrogate our favorite characters and really drill down on what makes them weak.  Dr. Melanie never letting Oliver go, being frozen.  Ptonomy's mother's passing, touching on Kerry and Cary's need for one another, the Eye and his late bloomer napoleonesque type of complex. Syd however, is strong maybe because of her connection with David and feels nothing is real.  This poses a threat to Lenny.

After the meeting, Syd hears a heartbeat behind a door but when she gets close is warned by the P.A. System to stay away. This leads into a bizarre repeated scene from an earlier episode with David and Ptonomy having the same conversation about Rudy that David had with Syd about the Treeman I believe.  Now we know the Eye knocked out

Rudy in the other realm which has him catatonic here.  This gives a little clue as what is real through cause and effect.  Also notable is David saying he hates dogs, I'd consider that a relatively new revelation if true at all.  They are joined by who mentions the door but David gets called away, and it's time for him to talk with Lenny, David is happy and in control.  He basically tells Lenny as long as Syd is here, he'll be okay.  He has balance in the world Lenny has built.  He is clueless to the mirage and Lenny is now more aware of Syd being a threat to Lenny containing David in this realm.

This leads to the big reveal and maybe my favorite scene yet, surely too 5 as after David is denied pie by his sister Amy, Syd takes a bite only to find it's covered in the same bugs as were on the strawberries in the white room.  From here it's a 70's style montage of Lenny just being wreck less and tormenting David's inner mind through the door that Syd keeps seeing.

We then see Syd having nightmares but is interrupted by David who has no legs, again a call back to earlier this season when Syd was legless in David's room.  This was strange and sad to me as we have now seen David arrogantly confident as the shadow king and now content and happy in a world that doesn't exist.  I'm thinking it's going to be awhile before we see David so content again as his and our minds unravel.  Syd also says she may not be able to stay, that in itself could make this whole realm crumble.

We check in on Kerry/Carey playing more games, first was ping pong where some scenes had no ball and now alphabetical pharmaceutical checkers?  They are the Easter egg kings at this point. Including Carey's rainbow, the rainbow connection continues to grow on the show as do colors in general. The track jackets worn by the team all vary also and surely carry their own meaning. I did also notice while Carey dragged the rainbow, a Carey imposter down the hall dragged a colorless sheet as well. I hated seeing The Eye creep out Kerry again and Carey shares a wall with her which makes her feel safe but Oliver seemingly summons him to the Astral plane as he sleeps.

David paints a picture of Syd with the left eye incomplete, and David s shirt is covered in red paint which looks like blood making me nervous for Syd as those bullets inch closer in the other world.  Syd further realizes things are not as they seem and comes to a part in the wall that is bleeding, this directly references her killing Lenny and a slew of other memories.  Then Lenny offers her headphones which are a complete euphoric experience for Syd who floats down the hall but to where?

When Kerry awakens Carey is gone of course but the Eye is there.  He is super creepy and he pretty much threatens to eat her.  Kerry runs but it feels like a Michael Myers/ Jason type of scene with the Eye calmly stalking her.  David hears the crickets, is Syd in the door that only sometimes exist?  We don't get to find out because Amy tells him how sick he makes everyone before dry heaving till he runs away, pretty brutal.As always, good to see tree man lurking behind Melanieshortly before she is visited by Oliver who tells her to follow him through the wall.  She arrives in the room of David's childhood home.  It is in suspended animation and the bullets are ever so slowly grinding towards Syd.  Melanie can't touch them, it burns and she is unable to move Syd and David out of the way. Just then giant eyes emerge on the wall and it looks like Lenny is very aware of what's going on.

David back in Lenny world seeks her out in search of Syd.  Lenny challenges that Syd may not be good for Syd and compares love to zombified ants.  Then she shows her true face to David both verbally and visually. 

Lenny says she knew David's real father and you see her as both Lenny and bloaty.  She is frustrated and wants Syd gone and David to be the zombie ant in this takeover.  David is then locked away in a clear coffin in the middle of nothing.  We then pan to Oliver going to get Syd but wait it's Kerry in the diving suit!

So it looks like what I was hoping was reality at the end of chapter 5 is anything but and is a reality built for David to make him feel safe and comfortable while the shadow king has free reign in David mind.  However help is on the way as Oliver has lead Carey and Syd to safety but leaving us concerned for Kerry and Melanie.  With 2 episodes left their will no doubt be loses in the hopeful triumph.

[simonsoys]

So what movie genres do you think the UT cast likes? I can imagine Alphys and Sans nerding out and nitpicking sci-fi movies together for one thing heh.

Ooh! Good question! Asks like these are my favorite haha!

I’m actually going to broaden this to TV shows too. Maybe like, what their Netflix history is.

Frisk

Loves Pokemon. Has watched every single episode in sequential order. (Toriel insists on knowing what Frisk is watching, so she’s had to sit through all of it too. She’s mostly confused by what the point of all this is, and is going to barf if she hears “Gooomygoomygoomy” one more time, but admits she quite likes Brock.) Also watches a lot of Pokemon-like shows.

Occasionally watches Sesame Street, even though it’s below their age range. It’s hard to find monster-positive shows.

As for movies, its pretty much anything animated or based on a kids’ book and nothing else right now. Everything must have a happy ending.

But even more than watching Pokemon shows, they’re into Youtube Let’s Plays. They like Minecraft videos, especially Stampy. (Undyne thinks the concept of watching other people play video games is ridiculous and yells at Frisk to go outside.)

Ambivalent about Frozen. Liked Olaf but that’s about it.

Favorite movies: Matilda; The Little Prince.

Toriel

Likes PBS Masterpiece Classics, like Downton Abbey and Indian Summer. 

Probably likes Benedict Cumberbatch.

A sucker for soppy British movies.

Loves The Walking Dead more than you’d expect. Carol is her favorite.

Likes the variety of crafting shows that humans make and put on TV and YouTube. Has thought about making and uploading some of her own.

Gets overly invested into some of Frisk’s kid movies. Bought Frozen on DVD for Frisk. Honestly. For Frisk. 

Favorite movie: Philomena

Sans

Into Sci-Fi movies a lot, even though he knows the science is bogus. He and Pap both like Star Wars, it’s got a lot of non-humans who are good guys! (A head canon I ACTUALLY had previous to this ask– the two of them have seen the first Star Wars, but it’s the only one that’s fallen into the Underground and circulated. They don’t know about Vader’s relation to Luke or what a Yoda is. The monsters are possibly the only fans on the planet who haven’t been spoiled on the ending of the OT yet. Some kind human souls learn about this and set up a screening of it in a theater, so that monsters have a chance to see it properly before having it ruined for them. It’s beautiful.)

He also has a large appetite for 90s high school romcoms? Like 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless. It’s light and funny.

Not as big on TV shows. Likes to have the experience done and over with in one sitting.

Falls asleep without fail during Frisk’s movies.

Except for Frozen, which Toriel’s watched so many times, he managed to stay awake once for it. He thought it was kinda stupid through 2/3rds of it, but the final act got him. SIBLING LOVE is relevant to his interests and now he kind of digs the movie.

Favorite movie: The Fifth Element.

Papyrus

Watches The Bachelor religiously.

Watches Dancing with the Stars religiously.

Still watches anything MTT comes out with. 

Not a binge watcher. He likes shows that are on live.

Likes to watch random YouTubers’ Vlog channels, and no one’s totally sure why. It’s so weird… watching them daily, they feel like friends that haven’t met you yet. 

Animated shows are for children. …But Power Rangers is cool.

Sees every superhero blockbuster that comes out in the theater. 

Doesn’t typically watch anyone else’s shows or movies. If it’s not something he likes, he doesn’t have time for it.

Forced to sit through Frozen at least once. Whined about Elsa’s amateurish ice magic technique and poor casting form throughout the ordeal. 

Favorite movie: Star Wars.

MK

Probably watches PG-13 movies eVEN THoUGH THEY’RE NOT YET 13??? Scandalooz!

Is more of a Digimon kid. Arguments have been had.

Also likes superhero movies a lot, and Godzilla movies.

Watches a lot of Ninja Warrior/American Ninja Warrior, and has decided they’re going to take the challenge someday.

Hates Frozen, 0/10,literally the worse movie ever.

Favorite movie: Any Godzilla movie where he’s a good guy.

Undyne

Is disappointed to learn that anime isn’t real. But that’s okay because soon afterwards she discovers Jackie Chan movies and that’s even cooler?? Martial arts are her new jam.

Likes the idea of Ninja Warrior shows, but just feels like there’s a significant lack of real danger. Needs more fire and deadly pits.

Likes watching YouTube videos of people playing musical instruments in really crazy and incredible ways.

Sometimes likes more artsy films? Like with music, she’s not all action all the time.

Still watches anime with Alphys, even though she’s learned the truth.

Frozen had fighting! And magical transformations! And a gripping love story! It’s practically an anime! (Though not the best one she’s ever seen.)

Favorite movie: Hero

Alphys

Continues to be anime trash. Probably likes most of the gay sports anime the best.  Also cute romances like Ore Monogatari!

Watches MST3K with Sans sometimes. They also found this old show where people build RC robots with sawblades on them and fight each other and they LOVE it. They’re considering organizing their own tournament at some point.

Not as into sci-fi movies– but is very into complaining about sci-fi movies. Likes to write long blog posts about why they’re bad/inaccurate.

Likes Dr. Who, despite the above statement.

Really likes cheesy romances. Watches a lot of K/J/C-Dramas.

Total weekly intake of movies and shows in hours is obscene and embarrassing to repeat.

Has blogged about Frozen’s clunky narrative and weak execution of its core themes, but has to admit the characters are lovable and has drawn at least one fanart of it. Has the unpopular ship of Elsa/Hans and just won’t let that shit go.

Favorite movie: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie: Super Lovely The Movie: Extra Doki Extended Cut Edition

Blooky

YouTubing music videos all day.

Watches concert recordings.

Watches MTT’s show every day.

Downloaded the Frozen soundtrack off the internet, but has never watched the movie and genuinely has no idea what it’s about.

Forgets they own a TV 90% of the time.

Favorite movie: ?? Doesn’t really have one. …Sorry…

MTT

Competition shows are great, but he gets frustrated by how long and drawn out human reality tv is. Between each commercial break it should be wall to wall excitement! That’s his philosophy anyway.

Is actually consuming as much film as possible now that he’s on the surface, from a variety of genres. Where Napstablook and Undyne are passionate about music, MTT sleeps and breathes film studies.

Watches the news a lot too?? Probably the best informed monster besides Asgore. He has a news program of his own, and filters a lot of the world’s current events through to monsterkind. He has to always be in the know! …It also helps for making funny, topical statements. His 1.5 million viewers love topical statements!

He’s actually a really effective reporter. There’s no region too dangerous for him, he’ll report from anywhere. War zones. Active volcanoes. Maybe even space? All while doing it in a stunning blazer and perfect hair.

He’s busy a lot, so doesn’t actually have time to watch too many things.

Frozen is exactly the kind of movie he’d make, except that Elsa’s sparkly dress did not have enough screen time. For that matter, more characters needed sparkly clothes. Someone bedazzle that reindeer, stat. 

Favorite movie: Grease; Moulin Rouge

Asgore

New to movies and TV, but is slowly getting into them. There are so many violent movies and shows out there! So he mostly lets other people recommend things to him. A member of Oprah’s Book Club. He watches the movie versions of the books he’s read.

He likes stories about peoples’ lives. Watches Dr. Phil every afternoon. Recently he’s been touched by the stories of My 600 Lb Life and Teen Mom.

Is the only sports fan in the bunch. Prefers being there in person to watching on TV, but that’s not always feasible. Paints his face, even when he’s watching from home.

Frozen was a good movie and he enjoyed it quite a lot. Thank you, Undyne.

Favorite movie: Tuesdays With Morrie; Fried Green Tomatoes

Flowey

Loves YouTube Poops and he doesn’t know why.

Hates sad movies. Hates any movie that makes any attempt to make him feel things. Up is a dumb movie.

Doesn’t really care about TV or movies, but likes to watch with other people and chatter over it to ruin their experience. He really just wants to be the center of attention.

Probably pretends to like Adam Sandler movies, but doesn’t actually like Adam Sandler movies.

Likes America’s Funniest Home Videos, especially the ones where people fall off water skis.

Frozen is disgusting and would’ve been better if everyone turned into ice and died. The end.

Favorite movie: Anyone else’s favorite, so he can ruin it for them.

Chara

Doesn’t have much experience with TV or movies outside of what Frisk consumes.

Secretly has the same crappy taste in anime and K-Dramas as Alphys, but is stuck with Frisk’s over-indulgence in YouTube and Pokemon.

Sibling estrangement and isolation is a theme too close to home. Spends too much time drawing parallels between themselves and the rest of the cast, to the characters in Frozen.

Favorite movie: Frozen