#or she’s gonna spill the dimension travel stuff

[the-evil-authoress]

GX Month Day 7: “Ojama Delta Thunder!!”

That’s right! You know what today is! Today we celebrate The Chazz, the one and only Manjoume Thunder! Give sparky boi a hug!

WE STAN SUPPORTIVE WORKPLACES IN THIS HOUSE. Also, tiny bit of Egoshipping at the end.

This monster is just over nine pages. What am I doing with my life?

“So you wanted to talk Pro stuff?”

It takes Chazz’s brain an extra minute to process the words, still reeling from the bombshell Jaden decided to drop on them tonight. Then he latches onto the chance to think about literally anything other than the fact that Jaden literally fused himself with the monster that tried to kill him! How stupid do you get?! “Yes, please, I’m desperate.”

“Alright, no need to grovel.” Aster holds a hand out to preemptively stop any further begging that admittedly would have happened. “Like I said, I’d be glad for the company.”

It’s still surreal to watch Aster be both honest and vulnerable even though Chazz has seen it a few times now thanks to these group talks Jim started. Chazz has actually seen most of his friends break down in tears at this point. This year has been a fucking trip. “Okay, what’s the catch?”

“You’ll be my assistant.”

“Sorry, what?” Chazz must not have heard that right.

“You’ll have the chance to see how the Pros work up close and personal, and I get an extra pair of hands on deck.” Aster shrug. “Win-win.”

That is absolutely not a win-win! “I’m not gonna be your lackey!”

Aster levels him a look that would be insulting enough even without the younger boy’s obvious lack of fear in the face of Chazz’s anger. “So you don’t want my help then.”

Oh this son of a- Deep breath in. Hold it. Exhale. Don’t scream bloody murder at the literal one person related to the Pro Dueling business giving Chazz the time of day. “Fine. What exactly am I expected to do?”

*

“You’ll be managing Aster’s schedule,” the woman says as she escorts Chazz up the elevator because Aster couldn’t be bothered to meet Chazz himself. Esmerelda, she introduced herself as, an employee of the Senrigan Group assigned to look after Aster. Purple curls spill over her shoulder and she’d be pretty if her smile wasn’t so...unnerving. Sharp green eyes bore down at him and Chazz wants to fidget in this stupid, uncomfortable suit. “Take this.” Esmerelda holds out a simple flip phone and Chazz accepts it with minimal confusion. “It’s a company phone and will be your primary method of communication.”

This gig sounds simple enough at least.

At the top floor of the company-owned skyscraper, the doors open to reveal a spacious and luxurious pad. Reminds him of home, honestly, and Chazz has to swallow down the confusing mix of emotions that brings. “I’ll be living here? Not bad.”

“Certainly not.” Esmeralda chuckles and gives Chazz a smile that - in one word - he would describe as plastic. Leading him through the entryway-living room space, she opens a door to a room that looks like a typical office space.

“That’s a lot of phones.” He stares incredulously at the appliances that line the desks.

“Of course,” Esmerelda says and Chazz finds it more than a little unnerving that she doesn’t deem it necessary to address why there are so many phones in this room. “This is your desk.” She taps a spot on the table top with an immaculate nail. “Make sure you arrive before seven.” Chazz nods and the woman leads him back out of the room to a set of narrow double doors that open onto a balcony. “You will be sleeping there.” She points down at a comparatively tiny, rustic looking building squeezed between the back of the skyscraper and the road. Is that a warehouse?

*

It’s a warehouse. There’s a couch and table on the landing near the door and a single bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. The power is out and a cloud of dust rises from the couch when Chazz sets his briefcase on the cushions. Sadly, this isn’t much worse than the Slifer Dorms. He’ll make it work.

*

“You put him where?” Aster looks up over his cup of chamomile tea, something Sartorius recommended after noticing his trouble sleeping and, like most of Sartorius’ suggestions, works fairly well. Setting the cup down, he presses his finger tips to his temple and doesn’t wait for an answer. “Esmerelda, you are evil.”

“With all due respect, sir, this boy is a Manjoume.” Esmerelda frowns, posture stiff where she sits on the other end of the couch and brows furrowed in an expression that speaks exactly how she feels about this situation. “The Manjoume Group is our biggest rival. He could be here to steal company secrets.”

“I highly doubt that,” Aster mumbles and picks his tea up again.

“To my knowledge, Chazz has an estranged relationship with his family,” Sartorius says from the armchair across the table, pencil tapping lightly against the clipboard on his lap. That paper is either Aster’s schedule or a crossword; Aster doesn’t care enough to squint. “Besides, he is a personal friend.”

Aster scoffs. “Chazz and I are not friends.”

“Friendly acquaintances then.”

“Acquaintances,” Aster corrects. “We’re just acquaintances.”

“Of course,” Sartorius agrees in that voice that implies he knows something he isn’t willing to share yet. Aster narrows his eyes at him over the cup but doesn’t press the issue. He’ll find out soon enough; Sartorius isn't that good at keeping secrets.

“Exactly,” Esmerelda presses. “Why are you sticking your neck out for him?”

Sighing, Aster sets his cup down to massage his temple once more. He knows Esmerelda means well, but she’s been watching him like a hawk even since he got back from the other dimension and Aster misses that small bit of freedom. “I don’t know. Maybe because I felt bad for him? Maybe because I wanted someone to talk about-” He lets the sentence hang and shelves the bulk of his bitterness and frustration before continuing; he doesn’t need to take it out on them. “-who actually understands.”

Esmerelda presses her lips. Sartorius stares at him with those damnably soulful eyes. Even if he could have predicted that whole fiasco, he certainly wouldn’t have been able to stop it. Aster doubts nothing short of the sun imploding could have stopped Jaden from chasing Jesse across dimensions; Aster had just been the idiot who got too close.

“It’s late.” Aster exhales wearily. “You should go home.”

Nodding, Esmerelda stands and bids him a good night. Only after the elevator has closed behind her does Aster allow himself to slump against the couch. Sartorius sets the clipboard on the table - it’s a crossword - and holds out his hand. “Shall we retire?”

“Yeah.”

It’s easy to be vulnerable around Sartorius, probably because of how long they’ve known each other, and Sartorius is still the only person Aster can completely relax around. He lets Sartorius pull him up off the couch and they head down the hallway to the bedrooms at the back of the suite.

“I’m in the next room if you need me,” Sartorius promises with his usual nightly greeting, and Aster has the distinct feeling he’ll be taking him up on that later. Today’s been stressful.

*

Chazz arrives at the office room at 6:55 sharp and freezes at the sight of the person already sitting there. “Good morning, Chazz,” Sartorius greets like they’re old buddies or something and not the guy who brainwashed him less than a year ago. “I trust Esmerelda already briefed you on the daily necessities.”

“No?” Chazz croaks. He’s going to be working with Sartorius? What happened to Esmerelda?

Sartorius’ expression falls into one of surprise and concern, but one of the multiple phones rings before he can respond and his attention immediately swerves. “Good morning, this is Sartorius speaking,” the man says with an uncanny level of grace and authority. Whatever is said on the other end of the line prompts him to pull up some kind of spreadsheet on the computer in front of him. Another phone rings as the conversation continues and Sartorius wordlessly directs Chazz to answer it with his hand.

“This is Weekly Duelist,” a voice chirps in his ear, a bit loud and on the edge of demanding. “Next week, could we have Aster...”

A third phone rings. Sartorius pushes a pen and paper at Chazz as he sets the first phone down and reaches for the next. “Write it down.” He’s on the next call before Chazz can ask for elaboration.

And so the morning goes. Chazz scribbles down the names of different dueling events and talk shows and gods-know-what-else that want Aster’s attention while Sartorius alternates between his own conversations and calling back the interested parties on Chazz’s list to fit them onto the spreadsheet.

Esmerelda shows up during a lull in phone calls as Sartorius walks Chazz through using the digital schedule, and Chazz’s brain is too fried from the last 2 hours of his life - has it only been 2 hours?? - to even care about the guy being in his personal space. “The first few hours of the morning are always the busiest. If you can’t confirm at the time of the call, write down the request and call back later. You must also always consider location and travel time- Oh.” Sartorius looks up abruptly. “Excuse us a moment.”

Standing, Sartorius pulls Esmerelda back out the room with him, and Chazz takes the opportunity to just sit and do nothing. A few names remain on the callback list. Should he get started on that or wait for Sartorius to return?

“You sent him in here with no instruction.” The conversation floats in from beyond the door.

“I told him to arrive before seven.”

“Before seven does not imply ‘in time to receive instruction’, Esmeralda. If you weren’t going to show him anything last night, he should have been here at least half an hour before hand.”

So that woman set him up for failure? Whatever, nothing Chazz isn’t used to. Reaching for the phone, he calls back the next event on his list. He’s got two more events scheduled before Sartorius and Esmerelda return and sits back in the chair smugly as he ends the call. Sartorius’ eyebrows rise as he glances over the schedule on his own screen.

“Well done! I’m glad to see you taking initiative.” The praise sends an odd thrill through Chazz like a half forgotten memory and he decides not to dwell on it. Sartorius turns back to Esmerelda with an almost smug grin. “And you worried.”

The woman presses her red lips together with a dismissive hum; Chazz prefers it to the plastic smile.

A tea and snack break later, Chazz finds himself fetching Aster’s clothing and duel disk - why the hell does someone need that many of the exact same thing?! - for a photo shoot, then hauling books from a truck to the table of a signing event - he didn’t know Aster wrote a book about duel philosophy. Admittedly, he’s curious - all while occasionally answering phone calls and penning new events onto his paper copy of the schedule.

The sun has set by the time he finds himself slumping back in his desk chair, Aster’s schedule neat and tidy on the spreadsheet before him. The phones have finally gone silent.

“Good work today.” Sartorius enters with a tray of soup and breadsticks and sets it on the desk adjacent to Chazz.

Chazz blinks at it. “You cook?”

Sartorius smiles. “Yes. Mizuchi and I lived alone for most of our lives, so we had to learn how to take care of ourselves.”

“Oh.” Chazz doesn’t know what to say to that so he doesn’t say anything as he reaches for the soup and spoons some of it into his mouth. It’s surprisingly good, mild, not too salty like most of the canned stuff.

“There’s an extra room up here for you,” Sartorius says and Chazz looks up sharply.

“I don’t have to stay in the warehouse?”

“Goodness, no.” Shaking his head, Sartorius presses his lips and continues at length, “I suppose Esmerelda wanted to test your resolve.” Chazz snorts. “I assure you, Aster and I did not approve.”

Didn’t stop them from letting him sleep there last night. Chazz can’t even muster the energy to glare at the man, only managing what must be a fish eyed stare. He dips the breadstick in the soup before taking a bit; oo, now that’s a good combination of flavors.

“How was your first day?” It’s still unnerving how calm and even Sartorius speaks even without the malicious undertones from the Light of Destruction.

“Exhausting,” Chazz answers without hesitation.

Sartorius chuckles. “I’ve put on some tea if you’d like to join us.”

Chazz considers this and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m gonna go get my stuff.” Still too weird, and honestly he wants nothing more than to crash in a real bed and stop existing for a few hours.

Nodding, Sartorius stands. “The room is at the far end of the hall. Mine is the second on the left if you need anything.”

Chazz really shouldn’t be surprised these two live together.

*

The following week is more of the same. Chazz follows Aster to all manner of events from meet-and-greets to fancy parties, always doing the heavy lifting and always answering the phone. During the precious few moments he has to breathe, Sartorius talks his ear off. The man is a surprisingly witty conversation partner and the complete opposite of Chazz’s sparse memories from the Society of Light.

“Of course I’m different.” Sartorius laughs good naturedly as Chazz curses his slip of the tongue. “That wasn’t really me, Chazz.”

No, Chazz supposes it wasn’t.

“He’s so good with people,” he mumbles, leaning on the balcony railing where they watch Aster mingle in the party below.

“Of course.” Sartorius sounds fond. “That’s what it takes to succeed. I believe you can learn a lot from watching him.”

Yeah, if Chazz can manage to find the time between everything else.

*

“You want me to what?”

“Organize the cards in here,” Aster repeats and Chazz baulks at the sheer number of stacks that line the shelves. “The power’s back on so that won’t be a problem. No specific deadline, just work on it when you have spare time.”

“What spare time?!”

Aster only raises his eyebrows with that unimpressed expression he’s so fond of giving, and Chazz clenches his teeth.

“Can I least get some gloves and a mask and a duster?” It’s filthy in here and Chazz doesn’t fancy breathing in whatever dust cloud he’s found to kick up.

“There should be cleaning supplies in the closet.” Aster waves a hand vaguely before turning to take his leave. “Good luck.”

*

A number of people make house calls with Aster; Chazz doesn’t pay much attention to them because he’s usually neck deep in phone calls and keeping Aster’s schedule straight - he does not need another double booking fiasco, thank god Sartorius had the charm to sort it out peacefully. One guy in particular, however, Chazz does get used to seeing; Mike something-or-other, a TV producer hell bent on getting Aster in on his comedy acts. Aster throws him out more than once.

“Why don’t you just cut ties with him?” Chazz asks after another such altercation. “You clearly don’t like him.”

“He’s good at what he does.” Aster frowns, annoyed if not outright angered. So are Slade and Jagger and that didn’t stop Chazz from telling them to fly a kite. Picking up his cup, Aster winces as his hand shakes and quickly sets the cup down before the tea can spill. Chazz zeros in on the movement.

“Hand,” he says, scooting over to sit by Aster on the couch without a second thought.

“What?”

Chazz doesn’t wait as he takes Aster’s hand and smooths out the joints between his own fingers before pressing gently and rubbing circles with his thumbs.

“You know massage??”

“Yeah.” Chazz still doesn’t get why everyone makes a big deal of it. This is something he’s always been able to do; used to find it weird that other people couldn’t because it felt so easy to him. A natural skill or whatever. “Jesus fuck,” the English expletive slips past his lips as he feels the knots and strained muscles in Aster’s hand. “I’m cancelling meet-and-greets and signing events for a while.”

“Excuse me?”

“So your hand can heal,” Chazz cuts Aster off before the other can work himself into righteous indignation. “You can’t duel without your draw hand. Two weeks of minimal activity and you should be fine. But we should tape this. Do you have a first aid-”

A white kit with a red cross hovers in the peripheral of Chazz’s vision. He stares dumbly up at Sartorius as Aster huffs with amusement. Cautiously, Chazz takes it. “Can you still see the future or something?”

“Predict,” Sartorius corrects as he takes his usual seat in the arm chair. “And not all predictions are accurate.”

“Riiiight.” Just gonna ignore that piece of information for now then. Chazz pulls the ace wrap out of the kit and turns back to Aster’s hand. “Tell me if it’s too tight.”

Maybe he’s imagining it, but there might be a sliver more respect in Aster’s eyes when Chazz finishes wrapping his hand and a tiny, genuine smile on his face.

*

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening!

Aster’s going to lose his entire career just because one lousy card went missing?!

Chazz paces back and forth across the warehouse floor, gnawing on his fingernails. The cards have all been organized - monster, trap, spell, then by type, archetype, and alphabetical. Chazz could point exactly to which box a single card is in, but the one card apparently more important that Aster’s fucking career disappears from right under his nose!

They even know who took it! They have photos from the security camera! But they can’t prove shit because the bastard was smart enough to keep his face covered and away from the camera! If they can’t prove it, they can’t get the card back! And then Aster-

“Boss, breathe!” Ojama Yellow squeals. “I think you're having an angry attack!”

“Anxiety attack!” Chazz screams, suddenly aware of just how rapid and shallow his breath has gotten. Geez, he sounds like Jaden after-

JADEN!

Chazz dives for his school-issued PDA, yanks up the contacts, and rapidly taps his foot against the floor as he waits for the other end of the line to pick up. He dials twice before getting an answer.

“What?”

“Jaden, I need your help!”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” The other boy sounds groggy and disheveled.

No, Chazz has absolutely no idea what time it is in Japan, he is on the side of the globe and that’s not important right now! “Listen! I need you and your freaky powers for help with something!”

Silence. The line clicks dead.

“DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME?” Chazz screams into the empty warehouse. It takes three more tries to get Jaden back on the line.

“And why should I help you?”

“SERIOUSLY? Wait.” Something about Jaden’s voice sounds off. The cadence? “Yubel? This is Yubel isn’t it? Put Jaden on the line! I don’t want you!”

“Jaden is asleep as I was before you so rudely interrupted me and will be returning to now,” Yubel snips.

“WAIT!” Chazz screeches before she can hang up again. He doesn’t need to waste any more time on callbacks. “Never mind! I just need help! Aster needs help!”

The silence on the other end stretches long enough that Chazz fears the monster already hung up. “I’m listening.”

*

Chazz doesn’t even question it when Jaden tumbles out of the shadows onto the warehouse floor, grumbling about fudged landings and never being at locations before, just snaps at him to hide the wings and drags him up to Aster’s apartment. “I brought help!” he announces as they barge in.

Aster’s head snaps up and Chazz watches the scathing remark die on his tongue as his eyes fall on Jaden. “Oh. That’s an idea.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” Jaden walks fearlessly up to the trio. “Cuz I got the basics from Yubel, but details would be nice.”

“Yubel?” Esmerelda asks with a weary glance between Jaden and Chazz.

Jaden blanks at her then turns away dismissively. “Not important.”

Aster tosses the security photos onto the table between them. “This is the guy who took the card. Mike, a TV producer who’s been trying to get me to go along with his comedy gimmick for weeks now. We know it’s him but these photos won’t hold up in court.”

Picking the photos up, Jaden holds his chin thoughtfully. “So you just need me to get this card back?”

“And maybe some proof that this guy stole it,” Chazz adds quickly, trying not to cringe as Aster’s eyes flicker over to him, but the pro silently nods his agreement.

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do.” Setting the photos back on the table, Jaden glances at the elevator, makes a face, and walks straight for the balcony. They all watch in confused silence until Jaden leaps off the balcony railing.

Esmerelda screams. “Is he insane?!”

Even Chazz charges toward the balcony, leaning over the edge in terror, only to find Jaden standing calmly on the sidewalk below like he didn’t just jump off the top floor of a fucking skyscraper!

“How?!” Esmerelda gapes, gripping the railing with white knuckles.

“I’m not even gonna question it.” Aster waves a hand as he returns indoors. Sartorius chuckles quietly, the only person who hadn’t made a mad dash after the reckless idiot.

Chazz sinks to the balcony floor, waiting for his heart to finally get the memo that they don’t need to be freaking out anymore. Gods above help them all...

*

Jaden gets the card back and manages to publicly humiliate Mike in the process. Win-win.

At the end of Chazz’s ‘employment’, Aster challenges him to an official PR duel. It’s the first time Chazz has gotten to seriously break out his deck in a while and he fears he’ll be rusty, but the plays come to him easier than they ever had. Oh, he gets it now. When he organized all the cards in the warehouse, he read each one’s effect; he thought about how to play them and combo them with each other. Aster’s deck is easy to read and Chazz pulls off a spectacular win.

Amidst the cheers, Aster holds out his hand. “Nice work. Guess you did learn a thing or two.”

Riding the adrenaline high, Chazz pulls him straight into a hug. Aster grunts, going rigid before awkwardly patting his back.

“Maybe not in front of the cameras.”

Chazz immediately backpedals. “Right! Sorry!” There’s an odd expression in Aster’s eyes as they shake hands properly this time.

*

“Sartorius. I have another problem.”

Sartorius sniggers as Aster predictably sinks into the seat next to him, flipping over the cards in his game of solitaire. “Oh, I don’t think this one is a problem,” he says with confidence, this morning’s card reading still fresh in his mind. “You should ask him out.”

It takes a second. “SARTORIUS!” Aster pushes away from the table, looking positively scandalized. “I don’t have time for a social life let alone a romantic one!”

Humming, Sartorius places a card on its designated stack. “I’m sure you can make the time. After all, you’ve been making time to visit Duel Academy quite frequently of late.”

“For my mental health!” Aster goes on the defensive, but there’s no denying the hint of flush on his cheeks. “And that's not the point! I don’t care if you read it in cards, I’m not just randomly asking him out!”

Sadly, Sartorius knows half of Aster’s reluctance to the idea is because the media would have a field day with any celebrity’s love life, let alone one with...less conventional preferences. That will not, however, prevent Sartorius from teasing his best friend. “How would you prefer to ask him out then?”

With a frustrated whine, Aster glares at Sartorius. “Not at all.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Shut up.”

[dwellordream]

the best laid plans

day 1 for @wayhavensummer because this is the only prompt I'll have time to do this week!

T Rating (for one brief mention of sex and one brief reference to emotional abuse) Felix x Detective Esme Kingston, 2300 words

The migraine cuts her to her core, and Esme can’t even manage the usual dose of guilt and hesitance she’d feel about canceling plans with Tina. They were supposed to go away this weekend, and Esme hasn’t been on a vacation since uni, but right now she couldn’t even make her way out of her flat, never mind into a car for a seven hour drive down the coast. 

She feels like vomiting, the pain is so intense, as if she’d been concussed. Migraines have been a constant for her since puberty; she has a vivid memory of her first one, when she was thirteen, and the long wait in the nurse’s office at the private school her mother paid so much money for. The same mother who eventually sent someone else to pick her up, ninety minutes after the first phone call. 

Esme doesn’t even remember who it was; some Agency intern? A vampire? A demon? Whoever it was, they brought her home, gave her some painkillers, and told her to sleep it off. She woke up hours later, in the middle of the night, to a still empty house. Rebecca had come home briefly to leave a note for her about some leftovers in the fridge and another one excusing her from school the next day if need be, and then gone straight back to work. 

Maybe Esme should have been outraged or hurt by this, but she doesn’t recall feeling much of anything at the time beyond hunger, when the pain had finally receded enough to think straight. She ate the leftovers cold in their sterile, silent kitchen, and put herself back to bed.

The migraines had intensified through high school, to the point where her mother considered putting her on permanent medication, before receding just before she went away to university. After that they were far more infrequent, which was both a blessing and a curse- it was easy to forget what the pain felt like, and to feel like it was weak, lazy of her to let it get the best of her. 

Bobby certainly didn’t help matters; the first one Esme had during their relationship came around shortly after they’d had sex for the first few times, and Bobby quickly became convinced this was her version of ‘not tonight, dear, I have a headache-’. That she was, for some ludicrous reason, exaggerating her migraines. 

If she didn’t want to have sex with him, she’d never had much of an issue saying as much, bluntly, clinically. Another thing he despaired of- her lack of social graces, her insistence on saying exactly what she meant, in her usual ‘ice queen’ manner. Now he had reason to call her frigid in more ways than one. 

Esme still isn’t sure how things between them ever lasted as long as seven torturous months. She assumes they both had a private masochistic streak- why else would two people who made one another so blatantly unhappy stay together? 

Bobby isn’t here now, of course, to whinge and moan about her ignoring him, but there’s still a little voice in her head telling her to get up and stop acting like a baby when the evening rolls around. The pain has greatly lessened, thankfully, and she’s hungry, which is usually a good sign, but she’s also exhausted and cranky and generally miserable, feeling as though an entire day was wasted, one she could have spent with her best friend, on her way to a vacation. 

Now, again, she is alone in a dark room. She slowly rolls over onto her side, bracing for a wave of pain or nausea, then pushes herself up onto her elbows and gropes at her night table for her phone. She has several missed calls and texts. Two from Tina, one from her mother, and one from Felix, which is the most recent, about thirty minutes ago. 

Felix H: omw over to drop stuff off. 30 min???

She checks the time, then jumps, almost bashing her head into the headboard, when she hears a quiet knock at her door. For a moment Esme considers lying back down and not answering it; Felix can be persistent but he would never try to break her door down, especially when he knows she’s ill. 

Then she clambers out of bed, some instinct driving her, a desperate kind of loneliness- for an instant tears spring to her eyes, as if she were a child again, terrified of being left alone, that she will just miss him, that she will pull open the door and he will already be gone-

“Ez?”

He’s right there when she yanks open the door, the chain still in place. Esme undoes it and pulls the door open all the way. Felix is staring at her, a small bag of groceries in hand. Vampires have far better temperature regulation than humans but it’s obvious he is feeling the heat; for once he’s not wearing a beanie or any kind of hat or cap at all. 

He’s gotten his hair braided recently; Esme looks at him for a moment, staggered by the fact, as always, that even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of her narrow hallway. Felix’s dark skin has a sheen all its own, magnified by his golden eyes. 

He prods her shoulder gently with the pad of his thumb. “If you faint on me, I’m gonna drop your gifts.”

“My gifts?” Esme shakes her head, leading the way back into her darkened flat. It’s much more cluttered than usual; she never finished packing for the trip she was supposed to take today. 

Felix does not reach for a light switch; he has perfect vision in the dark, and light from the parking lot is spilling through her blinds. Instead he sets the bag on her counter and sorts through it as enthusiastically as Santa Claus on Christmas, or a child sorting through their Halloween candy. 

“Min tea,” he says, “cold packs, squash, sweet potatoes, brown rice, dried cranberries…”

“Did you just look up ‘what to eat and drink for a migraine’?” Esme manages to ask, bemused. 

He looks up, a sheepish smile quirking at his soft lips. “If I say yes…”

“I’m impressed,” she says. “And.. thank you. Very much. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I didn’t have to supply my ailing girlfriend with nutritious food and drink?” he waves the bottle of mint teat in her face vigorously. 

“Ailing? I’m not eighty five years old, Felix.”

“That’s right, I’m the old man here,’ he cackles, then amends, “Or, will be. Technically we’re not that far apart in age but eventually when you start decaying-,”

“Decaying?” As usual, his word choice both horrifies and amuses her. 

Felix has even less of a filter than her, but with the opposite effect. She comes across as cold and controlling. He comes across as… well, ‘space cadet’ has been used a few times, but Esme likens it to a time traveler. Only, not from the past, and not quite from the future. A parallel visitor. Something out of the Twilight Zone, only… warm and colorful and eager to please. That’s Felix.

He shrugs. “Succumbing to the elements?”

“I’m not a castle,” she mutters, but pours herself a cup of cold mint tea. Will it be as good as if she’d brewed it herself here at home, no, but at the moment she doesn’t care. 

He puts the rest away in her small fridge while she drinks, leaving out the cranberries, then circles warily, as if approaching a wild animal, when she finishes off her cup. “Can I-,” his fingers ghost along the back of her neck. The hairs there raise and she shivers violently, but not in fear or pain. 

“Yes,” she murmurs, then leans back into his embrace as he wraps his arms around her. 

They scuttle over to the sofa like that, and ease down together. Felix is not terribly tall, and she is average height, so there’s scarcely a few inches between them. Esme has always liked that. All the others she’s been with had towered over her, and it made her feel spoilt and delicate in an undesirable, bratty kind of way, as if she were childish, some little princess to be coddled and indulged. Or maybe that’s just her projecting onto everything else that makes up a relationship besides height differences. 

For now, she is content to lie back so her head rests against Felix’s, cheek to cheek. His is silken smooth; she knows he is fastidious about shaving, the same as her. 

“You’re feeling better, though?” he murmurs, and snakes a hand under her pyjama top as if to check. Splayed warm against her belly, it tickles for an instant and she smiles. 

“Yes. It’s mostly passed. I’m just tired. And annoyed. Tina was really looking forward to this trip. She’ll still have fun by herself, but it was supposed to be the two of us, and I’m always canceling plans.”

“You are not,” says Felix, reasonably. “You’re just busy. And you couldn’t help it this time, you were sick. She knows that.”

Esme nods; for all his jokes and quips, Felix is always sensible in a manner that she finds comforting- stating the obvious isn’t such a bad thing when dealing with someone like her. 

“I hate being sick,” she murmurs, rolling onto her side so she can rest her cheek on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her more securely, even intertwines their legs. Felix sleeps like this too, though at this point he’s only spent the night a few times. 

Esme is taking things as slowly as she dares, given all the other factors at play- her mother, their work, the rest of the team, the fact that he is a vampire from another dimension and she is the human equivalent of dry toast… 

“I kind of like it,” Felix confesses, with just enough lilt in his voice that she knows he’s half teasing.

Esme grumbles vengefully into his shirt. He smells like coconut butter and vanilla. She doesn’t know if that’s his aftershave or just the essence of Felix, refined to the purest degree. Sometimes he smells like cinnamon to her, or lavender and honeysuckle. 

Felix tolerates these assessments but likes to claim that it’s him producing some kind of super pheromones perfectly designed for luring in unsuspecting human prey. Or his girlfriend. Or both. 

Esme has not been anyone’s girlfriend in a long time. Years. It feels very strange. Before him, it’d been so long since she’d even touched anyone, besides Tina or her mother or shaking hands. That absence did not hurt Esme. But being with Felix is like an unexpected delight. Free dessert. Extra sprinkles on your sundae. Any number of juvenile metaphors she should be above, but isn’t. 

“You’re not going to ask why I like it?” He is winding his fingers through her hair, which she let down from its usual tight ponytail to ease the tension on her scalp.

“Because you like to mock me?” she ventures.

“No,” says Felix. “Because you would have gone away with Tina, and now I get to see you. And hold you.” He presses an astoundingly gentle kiss to her brow, like a feather.

Esme feels a queer stab of guilt. “I didn’t know you’d minded so much.”

“I don’t mind,” he says quickly. “I was happy for you to get away for once. I’m not going to third wheel you and your best friend.”

“I think the terms refers to the opposite-,”

“Hush hush,” he interrupts, which gets a giggle out of her. “But this is like… an unexpected delight.”

The back of her neck prickles. “Can you read minds?” she asks, half serious.

“Not yet,” he sounds smug. “I have great intuition.”

“Because you’re a vampire?”

“No, because I’m me,” he boasts. “Look at Ava’s intuition. Terrible.”

Esme laughs again. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“She’s always expecting the worse. And Nat swings in the other direction. Always wants to play nice and hug it out.”

“And Mason?” Esme teases, feeling energetic enough not to raise her head so her chin is on his chest. Their noses are almost touching.

“Eh… he’s alright,” Felix breathes, and then closes the gap with a kiss. 

Esme kisses him back, more passionately than she’d meant to, and only stops it when he starts to sit up so she is straddling his lap. 

“I don’t think I can…”

“Eat some cranberries?” He grins impishly and hands her the bag from the coffee table.

Esme smiles and bumps her forehead against his, something she did impulsively after their first kiss and which he never let her live down. 

“What are we, cats?” he says, on cue, but brushes his nose and lips down her cheek and onto her neck, as if to nuzzle her in turn. “Eat some fruit before your migraine comes back. Do you want me to put some of this stuff away?”

“No,” she says, pushing him back down on the sofa. “Just- stay with me, please?”

“Alright,” he agrees, amiable as ever, and reaches for the remote. “This can be like our vacation, yeah? The Felix and Esme Show. The Fezme Show-,”

“No,” she groans, but wriggles off him to curl up beside him instead, a handful of cranberries rising to her mouth as he flips through the channels.

He settles on an episode of Columbo. Felix hasn’t really seen much in the way of TV, and so reruns mean nothing to him. But it means everything to her. They keep the volume on very low, and he gets up at one point to open the windows more, even as the faint sounds of the parking lot outside drift in- the buzz of the lights, doors opening and closing, the crunch of gravel. 

Esme falls asleep sagging onto him, cranberries in her lap, mouth half open while Felix watches, riveted in the light of the screen, as the detective closes the case.

[insideoutstory]

Inside Out → Chapter Fifteen

summary: The party goes looking for the gate. But things don’t go the way they’d hoped. word count: 6k warnings: N/A

[ masterlist ]   [ FF.net ]

If Christine lived through this, she was seriously considering trying out for cross country. She’d gotten enough training in, that was for sure, with all the aimless wandering around Hawkins. She was so tired, she wasn’t even sure if she was tired anymore. 

After their doomsday meeting, the party had split up to change and grab supplies. What the boys had told their mothers, she had no idea. If they’d even told them anything before sneaking out. Christine had taken the Dustin-route of preparation. She just filled a backpack with a few water bottles and granola bars in case they needed to hike through dinner. Also a hammer from the garage, just in case. She’d changed into pants, made sure to wear her boots this time instead of her tennis shoes, and put on a warmer sweatshirt. Despite her best efforts, Eleven still refused to change out of her pretty pink dress. 

Once they’d reconvened, they set out for Mirkwood again. They’d learned their lesson from last time. Not enough not to go, of course, but enough to go without their bikes. It would take them longer to get there, but save them time in the long run. They’d spent so much energy slipping and sliding on their last hike, untangling their wheels and handlebars from brambles. And it wasn’t like they could ride their bikes through the trees anyway.  

“Besides,” Dustin had pointed out at Lucas’s impatient groaning, “we’re going to find an interdimensional portal with massive electromagnetic force. Bikes are metal, dude. Get them close enough to a magnetic wormhole and—whoosh! Bye-bye bicycle.” 

“Just shut the hell up and walk,” Lucas had grumbled. 

The two of them had taken the lead as navigators. They kept their compasses out in front of them, cross checking occasionally to make sure they were still heading in the correct direction. Mike and Eleven trailed behind them, and Christine stayed at the back, unable to contribute much after her magnet presentation. 

There was less chit chat today than there had been the first time around. Christine couldn’t be sure if that was because everyone was more tired or more nervous. She certainly was the latter. It was a supposed portal to another dimension—a realm of monsters and death for crying out loud. And they were armed with, what? A super-powered twelve-year-old and a hammer? She was sincerely regretting not grabbing her father’s shotgun instead. 

Christine wasn’t sure where they were headed, or what they’d actually be able to do when they got there. For now, the only thing keeping her sane was doing a head count every sixty seconds. 

One kid, two kids, three kids, four kids. One, two, three, four. One, two, three four. 

From Mirkwood, they trekked through the woods, drifting deeper than they had last time. They were all on high alert, waiting for another twig to snap, for the low, growling, clicking sound to advance on them from the shadows of the trees. But nothing happened. 

The trees stayed close together, until the five of them were spilling out onto a set of train tracks that wound through the forest. Christine had been dead set against it. She was not going to let them get distracted on the tracks and send five more bodies to the Hawkins Mortuary. But Dustin had assured her that the Hawkins Railway had been shut since for about fifty years. There hadn’t been a train on these tracks since FDR was president. After several minutes of the boys calling her chicken, Christine had relented. Only because it was easier to walk on the tracks than through thorn bushes. 

Christine had actively not worn a watch. She did not want to look down and despair about how long they’d walked without finding anything. She did not want to look down and realize it had been twenty minutes when it felt like four hours. And telling the boys it was getting late was not going to make them turn around. So what was the point? 

At some point, after what felt like a very long time, Eleven stopped walking. 

“Hey,” Christine said, suddenly on high alert. “You okay, El?” 

Eleven shook her head, but Mike sighed beside her. “She said she’s tired.” 

“Yeah, join the club.” 

Christine huffed, watching Dustin and Lucas’s backs grow smaller as they forged ahead. There was no stopping them. That was for sure. So she looked down on Eleven with a weary smile. 

“You want a piggyback ride?” 

“A…what?” 

“Come on.” She passed her backpack to Mike. Then she kneeled down, helping Eleven put her arms around her neck and hoisting her up onto her back. “Oof! Okay. See? I can’t carry the magnetic force field of the Earth, but I can carry you.” 

Mike snorted next to her. “Wow. That was bad.” 

“Thanks, Mike. I appreciate it.” 

They started off down the tracks again. Every now and then, Christine had to hoist Eleven a little higher, making her squeal. Christine would ask if she was alright. Eleven would sniffle, wipe her face, and nod into her shoulder. It was so cold, Christine thought nothing of it. 

“Hey, Chrissy?” Mike asked as they walked on. “Thanks for coming with us.” 

“Of course. Mike, I know how important this is. And I wouldn’t want you guys out here alone.” 

He nodded, his eyes trained on the ground. “That was pretty cool what you did before with the magnet. It really helped that you knew that.” 

“I guess,” said Christine. “But Dustin knew what he was talking about. I’m sure he would have gotten you guys there eventually.” 

“Maybe. But you also helped hide Eleven, and made us all listen when we didn’t believe you about her powers. So thanks.” 

“Um…you’re welcome,” she said, unable to mask her surprise. “Thanks for…saying thanks, I guess.” 

Mike nodded at the dirt. It looked like he still had more to say, but being genuine was apparently very hard for him. Christine did her best not to push him. 

“I’m sorry, too. I know that I keep calling you annoying, and telling you that we don’t need your help. But the truth is…it’s kind of nice to have someone to talk to about crazy stuff like this. You know, someone older. Someone outside of the party.” 

“Ouch,” Christine said with a smirk. “We’re hunting down a portal to another dimension and I’m still not part of the party?” 

That made him smile. 

“We’ll discuss it. I’ll let you know when the party decides.” 

“No rush. We’re just trying to travel out of the earthly plane and into the shadow realm to rescue Will from the Demogorgon. Just let me know by Sunday so I can be ready for the next campaign.” 

“Remember when you first moved here?” he asked. “You were helping Nancy with some dumb English project while Lucas, Will and I were planning in the basement.” 

“Ugh, I do remember that project. It was on Huckleberry Finn. I hated that book. I was so glad when you guys started screaming and broke up our study session.” 

“We weren’t screaming. It was a battle cry. We were going to war to save the Paakliah people from the wrath of their warlock overlord.” 

“Right,” said Christine, rolling her eyes. “Well from upstairs it just sounded like a bunch of screaming. Nancy dropped everything because she thought one of you had broken a leg or something.” 

“You guys were pretty cool about it,” Mike said appreciatively. “I really thought Nancy was gonna kick us out to the backyard, but you just picked up a tube of wrapping paper and started sword fighting with Lucas. He had no idea what to do. It was awesome!” 

“Well, you can’t wage a war without a pair of warlock bodyguards to duel. So you’re welcome. And—God, Nancy was mortified at first. She really thought I was gonna take one look at you guys and bolt, make her do the rest of the project by herself. That feels like so long ago.” 

Christine chuckled at the memory. They all seemed too small, even her and Nancy. She’d still been in middle school then, the boys in elementary school. All of them had been wild and energetic, for the most part carefree. She shuddered to think how she’d swapped a tube of wrapping paper for a hammer. 

“Are you still not talking to Nancy?” 

“Yeah. I mean—…” The question took her off guard, and she glared at Mike affronted. “No. I’m…Why do you know that I’m not talking to Nancy?” 

“I heard her talking to my mom about it,” he said with a shrug. “She said you guys had a fight and she was mad at you, and then she did something stupid so you were even more mad at her. She was crying and everything. She told Mom she was really scared, and then that you guys were blaming each other for Barb going missing.” 

“Great. Well…just do me a favor and unhear all of that, okay?” 

“It’s stupid,” he said, glaring at her. “You know it’s not Nancy’s fault if Barb’s gone. And it’s not yours either. If she’s gone like Will is, then we can get her back.” 

“It’s not that simple, Mike,” Christine groaned. “Nancy and I have both done a lot of stupid stuff lately.” 

“Because you both like Steve Harrington?” 

“Just shut up and walk, Mike.” 

“Fine. But it’s dumb that you guys are fighting over some lame douchebag. There’s way more important things happening. Like, life or death things. And Nancy really misses you. Plus, she’s way less annoying when you’re being friends. Fighting’s making her cranky.” 

He hiked Christine’s backpack up onto his shoulders and marched ahead. Christine tried to grumble her curse words quiet enough that Eleven couldn’t hear, and stomped on after him. 

The train tracks curved to brush along the edge of the woods, and the five of them walked out into a clearing. It was some kind of junk yard. Abandoned cars and rusty barrels were strewn across the field. Even an old transport bus sat on the edge of the hill. It would have been a killer place for parties, but there wasn’t a single red Solo cup on the ground. They must have been too far out for even rebellious teens to walk. 

Dustin came to a stop in front of the group, looking around in confusion. “Oh, no.” 

“Oh no?” Lucas repeated in annoyance. “What’s oh no?” 

“We’re headed back home.” 

“What?!” 

“Are you sure?” asked Mike. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. Setting sun right there. We looped back around.” 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Christine sighed. She set Eleven back on the ground, stretching her aching arms. “It’s the sun, Dustin! How are we only noticing this now?” 

“Well it’s darker in the woods! If it’s so obvious, why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Because I’ve been carrying Eleven, and you two idiots said you had navigation under control!” 

“Hey, don’t look at me,” snapped Lucas. 

“What?” Dustin demanded. “Why is this all on me?” 

“Because you’re the compass genius!” 

Dustin sighed, spinning on the spot and looking at his compass again. “What do yours say?” 

“North,” Lucas and Mike replied in unison. 

“This makes no damn sense,” Dustin groaned. “Any ideas, Chrissy?” 

He passed off the compass, allowing her to look at it as well. But the needle was pointing the way they’d been headed. Without seeing the magnetic field, there was no way to tell where the interference was coming from. 

“I don’t know,” she said, spinning it in her hands. “I mean, it could be a third magnet? Layering three magnetic fields? But we would’ve had to walk a perfect circle right around it.” 

“So it’s in the woods?” Lucas asked. 

“Maybe. Still, for the needle to point at neither the whole time…that wouldn’t happen if they were two fixed points.” 

“So maybe the gate moves?” Mike suggested. 

“I don’t think so,” said Dustin. “It’s a tear in time and space. Not exactly portable.” 

“Okay, so…maybe something here is screwing with the compasses. You know, that’s how we ended up in the junk yard.” 

“It’s not gonna be just a bad car battery,” said Christine. “To cause miles of interference like that, it’d have to be like a super magnet.” 

“It’s not a magnet.” 

Lucas was glaring back at the path. Eleven was still standing exactly where Christine had put her down, avoiding all their eyes. 

“Lucas, knock it off,” Christine sighed. 

“No! She’s been acting weirder than normal! If she can slam doors with her mind, she can definitely screw up a compass.” 

“Why would she do that?” asked Mike. 

“Because she’s trying to sabotage our mission. Because she’s a traitor!” 

“Woah, okay! Hold on, boys.” Christine planted herself between Lucas and Eleven as he tried to advance on her. “Look, we’re all tired. We’re all desperate. Why don’t we just sit down for a minute and…?” 

“Will doesn’t have a minute!” Lucas yelled. He tried to walk around her, only for Christine to grab his arm. It didn’t stop him from snarling at Eleven. “You did it, didn’t you? You don’t want us to reach the gate! You don’t want us to find Will!” 

“Lucas, come on, seriously,” Mike shouted. “Just leave her alone!” 

“Admit it. Admit it!” 

He broke out of Christine’s grip, running at Eleven. She jumped back in terror, but not before he could grab her wrist. He held her arm up to the light. In the dying light, dark blood was shining on her jacket sleeve. 

“Fresh blood,” he spat, throwing her arm back at her. “I knew it!” 

“Lucas, come on!” Mike pleaded. 

“I saw her wiping her nose on the tracks! She was using her powers!” 

“Lucas, it’s just cold,” Christine reasoned. “We’ve been walking for miles…” 

“No! She was using her powers, and you and Mike are too stupid to see it because you like her! You think she’s cute and innocent, but all she is is a liar!” 

“Bull,” shouted Mike. “That’s probably old blood. Right, El?” 

But Eleven did not answer. 

Mike squinted at her, fear rising in his voice. “Right, El?” 

“It’s…not…It’s not safe…” 

Eleven was sniffling again. But it was not because she was using her powers, and it was not because of the cold. Christine could already see the water welling in her eyes. She was moments away from bursting into tears. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Christine said instinctively. She dropped down next to Eleven, brushing the hair out of her face. “I know it’s scary.” 

“See?” Lucas demanded. “She just admitted it, and all you two care about is making sure that she’s okay! But what about Will? She’s leading us around in circles and Will’s out there running for his life!” 

“And we’re gonna find him!” yelled Mike. “El’s just scared! We—We all are! Right, Dustin?” 

Dustin, however, seemed to know better than to answer. 

“It doesn’t matter how scared she is,” said Lucas. “She lied! What did I tell you? She’s been playing us from the beginning!” 

“That’s not true! She helped us find Will!” 

“Find Will. Find Will? Where is he then? Huh? I don’t see him!” 

“Yeah, you know what I mean.” 

“No, I actually don’t. Just think about it, Mike! She could’ve just told us where the Upside Down was right away, but she didn’t. She just made us run around like headless chickens!” 

“Alright, calm down,” Dustin said, finally pushing between them. 

“No!” 

 Lucas smacked Dustin’s arm away, storming toward Eleven again. Christine immediately stepped in front of her. 

“She used us!” he yelled. “All of us! She helped just enough so she could get what she wants! Food and a bed! She’s like a stray dog!” 

“HEY!” Christine shouted, but Mike was beating her to it. 

“Screw you, Lucas!” 

“No, screw you, Mike! You’re blind—both of you! Christine’s just lonely cause she’s fighting with Nancy, and you’re blind because you like that a girl’s not grossed out by you. But wake up, man! Wake the hell up!” 

“I SAID HEY!” 

The boys stopped as Christine rose to her feet again. And now, she was shaking with fury. 

“Both of you are going to shut up right now. No one speaks, no one leaves until we all calm the fuck down. We’re not gonna get anywhere throwing bullshit insults like this. We will figure out where Will is…” 

“We don’t have to figure it out,” Lucas snapped, jabbing a finger at Eleven. “She knows where Will is. And now she’s letting him die in the Upside Down.” 

“Lucas, I said stop.” 

But Lucas would not. 

“For all we know, it’s her fault!” 

“Shut up!” Mike screamed. 

“We’re looking for some stupid monster, but did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s the monster?” 

“I said shut up!” 

Mike leapt forward, grabbing Lucas around the neck and attempting to throw him to the ground. Lucas was faster, grabbing Mike in the same way and countering the throw with a harsh tug of his own. They wrestled and screamed, toppling over and still attempting to fight. 

Everyone was screaming. Christine ran forward with Dustin, trying to pry them apart. 

“Stop!” 

“Knock it off, you idiots!” 

“Boys—Mike, just stop!” 

“Stop it!” 

“Mike, get off!” 

“Stop it!” 

“Dustin! A little help, please!” 

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Before Christine knew what was happening, Lucas was flying out of her hands. His body shot into the air. It was like he was being propelled by an invisible force strong enough to toss him like a rag doll. He hit the ground hard, sliding through the dead grass and colliding with a totaled car. 

Dustin and Mike ran forward. Christine stayed where she was, too shocked to move. Then she turned around to gape at Eleven. Her nose was bleeding again, her hands balled into fists at her sides. She looked horrified already, the reality of what she’d done beginning to sink in. But Christine couldn’t scold her. Couldn’t comfort her or yell. She felt paralyzed in the grass. For the first time, she actually felt afraid. 

“Why would you do that?” Mike demanded. He seemed to have figured out what had happened. He looked up from Lucas’s limp body, glaring at Eleven the same way he had at the quarry. “What’s wrong with you? What is wrong with you?” 

“Mike…” Eleven whimpered. 

It was enough for Christine to push her fear aside. She started toward Eleven, ready to…was she going to comfort her? She had no idea. But Eleven needed to calm down. If bodies started flying when she got upset, the best thing Christine could do was keep the situation under control. But then Dustin called out to her. 

“Christine! Chrissy, he’s—he’s not getting up! W-What do we do if he doesn’t get up?” 

She froze, torn at Eleven’s tearful face and Dustin’s broken voice.  

“Okay. Just—Just hold on, El.” Christine held up a hand and backed toward Lucas’s body. “Eleven, just breathe, okay?” 

“Christine!” 

She turned, and ran to Dustin’s side. She slid the last few feet on her knees, despite the pain. Lucas was still lying unconscious against the car. He didn’t show the slightest response to Mike’s voice, or the way Dustin was shaking him. Christine had to beat his hands back. 

“Stop. Stop, Dustin! If he’s hurt, you could just make it worse. Just back up.” 

The boys followed her instructions immediately, which just proved how scared they must’ve been. Christine braved a straight face. She didn’t want to scare them more by admitting she had no idea what she was doing. 

She looked over Lucas head to toe. His limbs looked normal and he didn’t appear to be bleeding, which was good. Unless all the bleeding was internal, in which case it was very bad. She stroked his hair, trying to ease him into consciousness rather than shout. Unfortunately, that wasn’t working either. 

“Lucas? Come on, bud. Can you hear me? Lucas?” 

“Do we need to give him mouth to mouth?” Dustin asked behind her. 

“What—no!” 

“Fine! If you don’t want to do it, I will. Move!”

“Dustin, stop! He’s breathing! We just need him to wake up.” 

“Oh…” 

Christine was ready to break out a water bottle and pour it over his head. But Lucas stirred before she could ask Mike to hand over her bag. 

“Lucas? Oh thank, God.” 

She sagged back onto her butt, giving the boys more room to push forward. 

“Lucas, you okay?” asked Mike with a relieved smile. 

Lucas did not respond. 

“Lucas, how many fingers am I holding up?” asked Dustin. He waved his hand in front of Lucas’s face. “Lucas, how many fingers?” 

Again, Lucas did not respond. 

“Let me see your head,” Mike offered, reaching out. 

Lucas smacked his hand out of the air faster than a rattlesnake. 

“Don’t touch me!” He struggled to his feet, ignoring his friends’ concern and shoving Mike again for good measure. “Get off me!” 

He pushed his way past the group and marched toward the woods. Christine could hear the fear in his voice. She’d only seen him this upset at the quarry, when his best friend’s body was right before his eyes. It was why she grabbed Mike before he could go after him. 

“Mike, stop,” she said softly. “Just let him go.” 

“But—But what if he’s hurt?” 

“Man, just let him go,” Dustin agreed. 

They watched as Lucas disappeared into the trees. Christine felt sick to do it, but running after him would only make him more upset. Lucas would be alright, she tried to convince herself. He had his compass. And she knew from personal experience how sobering rage could be. So long as nothing else bad happened… 

“Where’s El?” 

Mike’s voice echoed around the yard without response. Christine whipped around, staring at the bus, which Eleven had been standing next to less than a minute ago. Now she wasn’t. Not next to the bus or the cars or the trees. She wasn’t anywhere. 

“Eleven!” Christine screamed, looking around at the tree line. “Eleven, it’s okay!” 

“El?” Mike called, and Dustin joined in. “El! Eleven! Eleven? El!” 

They must’ve screamed for ten minutes. They checked inside every car, behind every bush, searched the forest ten feet deep in all directions. But there was no blonde wig or pink dress in sight. 

Christine bit her lip hard. She’d been trying to bottle it all up, trying to be the adult. But it was exhausting. 

“FUCK!” 

She screamed, and it echoed around the sky. Christine kicked the closest rock, which collided with the closest wreck. The impact chipped the windshield, and Christine watched the crack spider its way across the length of the glass. 

Dustin was at her side in an instant. 

“We’ll find her,” he assured her. “Christine, we’ll find El. We’ll help you look.” 

“No.” Christine felt her body shaking, but her voice was firm. “No, I want the both of you to go home right now.” 

“No,” Mike argued. “El is out there alone! And so is Will!” 

“And you’re not gonna find them in the dark. You two are going home. Now. Before the sun goes down, and before your parents start asking questions. I will look for Eleven, and I will call you if I find her.” 

She did not give them room to argue. She seized her backpack from Mike, taking out both her hammer and a flashlight. Then she walked back into the forest, following the train tracks the way they’d came. 

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. She’d been so worried about Eleven and Lucas that she hadn’t thought twice about marching into the woods alone. It wasn’t until she’d lost sight of the junkyard, after she’d followed the train tracks and trekked back into the brush, that her personal safety occurred to her. It was getting dark. Even without leaves, the trees blocked out the fading light overhead. Unlike the boys, she didn’t have a compass, and she only had a vague idea where she was going. But at a guess, she wasn’t far from Mirkwood—where they’d heard the first twig snap. 

The thought made her tighten her hand around her hammer. 

Occasionally she’d call out for Eleven. Most times, she tried to make as little noise as possible. The darker it got, the more aware she was of the sound of the wind. Trees rustled in the breeze. Twigs snapped. A few times she thought she heard voices in the distance. She’d called for Eleven—and the sound had immediately stopped. After she imagined someone calling her name, she decided it was safest to stop looking and find the road. 

How she got there was as much a mystery as it was a miracle. But she nearly fell to the pavement with relief. She would have sprinted the last leg home if she weren’t so tired. Luckily, someone else had thought ahead. 

“Finally,” said Dustin, perched on his bike where the wilderness gave way to the suburbs. His headlight blinded her like an interrogation lamp as she approached. “If you were gone another twenty minutes I was gonna call the cops.”

“I told you to go home, Dustin.” 

“I did. Where do you think I got the bike?” 

“And you came back here alone? To the place Will went missing? What if something had happened, Dust? Don’t be an idiot.” 

“That’s rich, coming from the girl who was just walking alone for over an hour. Now do you want a ride home or not?” 

Christine was hesitant. She was a lot bigger than Eleven, and she hated to put the burden on Dustin. But he was already turning the bike around, patting his back wheel. And her legs were killing her. So she stowed the hammer and flashlight in her bag, and climbed onto the bike. 

To his credit, Dustin did a better job keeping them steady than she thought he would. It was only a block or two before they were sailing smoothly. So long as he didn’t brake too hard, they had it under control. 

“Did you find anything?” he asked her as they cruised down the street. 

“Does it look like I found anything?” 

“Cranky.” 

“What about you? Anything at Mike’s house?” 

“Nah. He thought El might hide in the basement, but there’s nothing there.” 

“Not really surprising,” said Christine, and Dustin nodded. The way Mike had yelled at her, Eleven wasn’t likely to look for safety in his basement. “What about Lucas? Have you heard from him?” 

“No. But he’s definitely home. I went passed his house and threw stuff at his window until he closed the blinds. So he’s alive.” 

“That’s a relief.” 

They leaned into a curve as Dustin made a sharp turn. She’d just recovered when he threw her for another loop. 

“Why aren’t you mad at Eleven?” 

“Dustin…” 

“I mean, I kind of get it. I’m still worried about her too. But she threw Lucas with her mind. That’s not cool.” 

“I don’t think she did it on purpose, Dust. El was scared, and all of us were screaming. She just wanted it to stop. I think when she gets overwhelmed, her powers probably act up.” 

“Like Jean Gray,” Dustin supplied. 

“Sure. Like Jean Gray,” Christine agreed. “And then she thought we’d be mad at her, so she ran. I just hope she’s okay.” 

“Still. Lucas had a point, you know? She lied. Will needs us, and we still don’t know where the gate is. If Eleven doesn’t come back, who knows if we ever will?” 

“Dustin, if anyone can find that gate, I know it’s you.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, not all that comforted by the thought. Christine gripped his jacket a little tighter, trying to think of a way to explain it. 

“Think of it like this,” she tried. “Say there were two sets of train tracks. On one track, one person’s tied up, and on the other there are four. You can’t move any of them. You can control where the train goes, but it has to follow the tracks. What do you do?” 

“I don’t know,” Dustin said quietly. “Why can’t I save them?” 

“You don’t have enough time. There’s no wrong answer, bud. It’s just a hypothetical.” 

“Okay, well…the one I guess. Cause you save more people.” 

“Alright. Now imagine the same thing, but the four people are me, Will, Mike, and Lucas. What do you do?” 

“Who’s on the other track?” 

“You don’t know. It’s a stranger.” 

Dustin was quiet for a few blocks. “Is this a trick question? It feels like a trick question.” 

“It’s not a trick question,” said Christine. “But it’s hard. That’s what Eleven was trying to decide this afternoon. She wanted to protect the four friends she has, because sometimes that’s scarier than losing someone you don’t know.” 

“I guess. I didn’t think about it like that.” 

They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride. Christine let Dustin mull over the situation, and kept her eyes on the streets. She was hoping to catch a glimpse of pink hiding behind one of the houses. It was a long shot, but she felt like that was all she had for now. There was only one other place Eleven might be hiding, and Christine couldn’t check there just yet. 

She hopped off the bike as Dustin leveled with his driveway, allowing him to shoot up and park his bike next to the garage. 

“Will you come talk to Lucas with me tomorrow?” he asked her. “You’re better at explaining the metaphor than I am.” 

“I don’t know. I think I’m just gonna stay home. In case…you know who comes back.” 

“But what am I supposed to say to Mike and Lucas? What if they won’t talk to each other?” 

“They will, Dust. They just need time to cool off. But they’re best friends. If anyone can make them see reason, it’s you.” 

“Easy for you to say,” Dustin huffed, tugging on his backpack straps. “Whatever. I probably shouldn’t be taking advice from you about it anyway.” 

“Excuse me?” Christine chuckled in surprise and folded her arms. “What does that mean?” 

“It means that Lucas and Mike are fighting about Eleven just like you and Nancy are fighting over Steve.” 

She must have gaped at him for a solid ten seconds. 

“No,” she managed to squeak through the shock. “Dustin, no! That is—That is so not the same thing!” 

“Um, yeah it is.” 

“No, it is definitely not!” 

“Let’s think,” he said, stroking his chin. “Two really close friends get pushed apart because some cute person comes between them. One of the friends gets hurt, and gets mad cause the other friend doesn’t care. How is that not the same thing?” 

“Okay, well—for one—Steve didn’t throw me across a junkyard with his mind.” 

“No. He just made you cry because he used you to get to Nancy.” 

Christine shut her mouth. It felt better than standing there with her jaw dropped as she stared at her miniscule fetus of a neighbor, standing there so sure and so confident and so…right. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

“Just go inside, Dustin.” 

She tried to walk back to her house, only for Dustin to grab her hand. 

“Hey,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry about what Lucas said too. About you being lonely and obsessing over Eleven. That was dumb. But if Lucas and Mike are gonna make up, I think you and Nancy should try too. It’s easier when everyone’s being friends.” 

“I know it’s easier,” she said wearily. “It’s just not easy to make them that way.” 

“Okay.” Dustin nodded, playing with his backpack again. “Do you wanna stay over? I can ask mom to drive us to the video store.” 

And just like that, he drew another smile out of her. 

“Nah, not tonight, Dusty. Like I said. I’m gonna stay home to be safe.” 

“Alright. If you need anything…” 

“You’ll be the first to know,” Christine assured him. She rubbed his cap on top of his curls. “Get going. Your mom’s probably gonna kill you.” 

Dustin scurried inside at her suggestion. The front door slammed behind him, but Christine could still hear Claudia’s worried shouts. She smiled, backing off the lawn and sneaking around to her own back door. 

It was locked. Not that that meant anything. Christine knocked halfheartedly—two slow, then three quick. There was no response. She tried again, just in case, but got the same result. After a few minutes of waiting, she grabbed her spare key and let herself in. 

Everything was exactly where she’d left it. Her unmade bed, the empty pillow fort, the abandoned waffle plates and ruined magazine. The stereo was off, and though she checked her freezer, there were still the same amount of Eggos. 

“Eleven?” she called hopelessly. “If you’re here, you…you can come out. I’m not mad. No one is. It’s okay.” 

She continued to stand in the dark, knowing she wouldn’t get a response. 

At some point, her exhaustion must have caught up to her. She didn’t bother making dinner. She didn’t even bother turning on the lights. She just changed into her pajamas and grabbed her dwindling box of Cheerios. However, she hesitated at the back door. 

Habit told her to lock it. She was a teenage girl home alone in a town where two people were missing, mysterious scientists were hunting children, and interdimensional horrors were running loose. But a lock wouldn’t stop a mad scientist, and it wouldn’t stop a Demogorgon. The only people it might stop were the boys, or a scared little girl looking for a place to sleep after running away. 

Christine dropped the cereal in her room. In the kitchen, she popped one waffle in the toaster, then placed it on a plate. She left it on the back stoop, looking longingly at the shadows outside. The waffle would get cold fast, she knew. But it wasn’t about whether or not Eleven would eat it. She just wanted to send a sign. It was still safe inside. It was okay to come home. 

Without much debate, she left the porch light on. And when she went to bed, she left the door unlocked.

[sirkkasnow]

15 Everybody’s Got A Secret

Ao3 link

7/28/13 Sunday

The dirt roads were rough, a little worse in the dark maybe, but the route was familiar as the back of his hand and the rattle-and-creak of the springs was just background information. He knew exactly how much abuse the suspension could take.

Clary, on the other hand, looked a little grim. Both hands gripped white-knuckled onto her shoulder belt.

"You good over there?"

"Swell."

"We'll be fine - you'll love it once we get there. Hang on, there's a bump - "

It was a hell of a bump, actually, and Stan flung a shielding arm out on reflex as she squealed in momentary panic, bouncing back down with a shaky laugh. "Holy hell, Stan! You always rattle your dates this hard?"

"Only the ones I really like. Hang in there, kid, I promise this is worth the hassle."

"You sure about that?'

"C'mon. Trust me." He spared a sidelong glance. Her eyes were wide in the faint light of the cabin, but she settled back warily into her seat.

"You've gotten us out in one piece before. I’m willing to gamble that you can do it again."

The handful of cockeyed reflectors that marked the edge of the bluff came up a little faster than he anticipated and he hit the brakes harder than maybe he should’ve, but Stan was able to lock it down a good eight feet back without any trouble. He heard Clary suck in a hissing breath and let it go slow.

The car went quiet as he flipped back the key. He left the dash lights and headlamps alone for the moment, watching from the corner of one eye as she wound down her window, popped the buckle and leaned forward to brace elbows on the dashboard.

By now they were past twilight into night. The car perched on a rocky ledge well above town. Twisted, scrubby pine clung to fissures in the stone, stunted enough not to block the view.

Stan rarely paid attention to what anything around here looked like, but at this time of year he admitted it was pretty impressive. Gravity Falls rolled out below like a sprawling tangle of Christmas lights. Pale gold and white sparked with occasional blue or red laced into the silhouettes of trees, all the surrounding forest faded down to velvet black in the dark.

Bare traces of midnight blue still clung to the western sky, but summer stars popped out clear and sharp in the vault overhead. Clary twisted, pillowing her cheek on a forearm and peering up through the windshield for a better view. “Nice. I never get to see this many stars back in Baltimore.” Her attention swung over to him and Stan busied himself with escaping his seat belt. “Where are we anyway?”

“There’re a couple little perches up here. This’s the one that’s hard to get at. The easy one is over there - “ He clicked on the highbeams, which reached out far enough to illuminate beaten dirt and a more substantial fence across a narrow ravine. “That is Lookout Point.“ She was beginning to chuckle under her breath and he ignored it. “Which is usually infested with teenagers, which is why we’re over here. Best place to get a look at everything before it disappears in your rear-view mirror, right?”

“So we’re overlooking both town and the local makeout spot.” Her grin flashed in the half-light as she pushed back and made herself comfortable in the far corner of her seat. “I can’t believe how small it all looks from up here. Like your local tourist map but more accurate.”

“It’s not much, I know.” Stan snapped off the rest of the lights and the car went pitch dark. His eyes gradually adapted to starlight as the cooling engine pinged harmony to scattered cricket-song.

“You never did get around to telling me what kept you in Gravity Falls for three decades. There’s the business, sure, but it’s hard to picture you being contented out here for that long.”

“I’m not sure the business woulda worked anywhere else. Scratch that, I know it wouldn’t’ve.” Stan wished like hell that he’d thought to bring a cigar; it’d help keep his hands busy. He settled for resting his cheek against a palm, elbow braced against the window ledge, and tapping restless rhythm with the fingertips she couldn’t see.

“Was it Ford’s thing? The research he came out here to do? I’ve only managed to get bits and pieces out of him about it.” Clary toed off her sandals and tucked feet up onto the seat, glittering dimly across what felt like about a mile and a half of empty leather.

He squinted over at her outline. “What, you asked straight up?”

“He got this wistful look and told me to ask you.”

Stan sighed. “Typical. Kickin’ the hard stuff back to me.” She chuckled and he tipped his head back, staring up at the seams in the roof lining. “Look, considerin’ all the insane crap you’ve seen since you got here, you will not be surprised to hear that there used t’be an interdimensional portal in the basement.”

“What?”

“Maybe a little surprised. So yeah, he came out here for the local weirdness right after college. Me, I, ah.”

Stan closed his eyes, reminded himself that the need to keep secrets was pretty much over and done with, and spilled. “Long, and I mean long story short, Ford an’ I had a fallin’ out when we were on the tail end of high school. I got kicked out, barely talked to him or my parents for ten years, traveled the country tryin’ to make something work, got banned from a couple dozen states…”

Clary was tight-focused on him now, not the sparkling view, and he shifted restlessly under the weight of her shock. “Ford sent a postcard out of the blue one winter, ‘please come’, that was it, so I did. Hadn’t been banned from Oregon at least. I had no idea how bad it’d gotten for him.”

He had to pause, picking his way through the words. Years of practice kept his voice even. “I thought we were gonna work things out. He thought he was gonna tell me to get lost. Things like they were...words got said, punches got thrown...I accidentally pushed Ford through the portal to fend for himself an’ hop through dimensions for the next thirty years.”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t told bits of this story before in various ways, but it was always over a drink and with tongue firmly in cheek, impressing the hell out of some hapless dockside bar with every outrageous embellishment. This was a bare recitation of fact.

She looked stricken, from what he could make out. One hand pressed hard to her lips and he could about hear her thoughts spinning from where he sat. “Wow.”

“Ha. You’re tellin’ me.”

“You took over his identity so you could take over the house.” Clary’s muffled murmur was almost inaudible.

He must have twitched in surprise, because he caught the flicker of her rueful smile as she shifted over to the midline of the bench seat. “I do talk to people who aren’t you, Stan. It’s amazing what you can pick up behind the counter at Greasy’s. Thought it was odd that I heard plenty of stories about Mr. Mystery, but not Doctor Mystery until whatever weirdness went down last summer.”

Stan huffed out half a laugh. “Nosy much?”

“It’s been a month and I find you fascinating.” He cleared his throat and she poked him with a fingertip. “So you stayed. You stayed to make sure he got back.”

At the blurred edge of his vision he could make her out, leaning against the seat back. “I had nowhere else to go, and like hell was I gonna leave until he was safe, so yeah. Moved into the house, started up the Shack, found a way to pay the mortgage.”

“In spades, apparently.”

“I did all right. That all went into the Ford recovery fund, mind you.”

“Stan Pines, selfless. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Sweetheart, you have no idea how wrong you are.”

Clary chuckled at that and he turned a little to meet the knowing gleam of her regard. “Here I thought you guys had it all figured out.”

“We do now, I guess, but that was a bumpy road and it didn’t come cheap.”

“You’re lucky.”

The faint wistful note in her tone tugged at his attention and he cocked a brow. She slouched, hands intertwined, looking out through the windshield at who knew what. “Not that I need to tell you that. I was in a hell of a state when I got here, and it’s been...nice...to have such good company. Sleeping in a house full of people instead of in another motel room, you and Ford, the kids and Soos and Melody...in spite of all the chaos, this trip would have been so much more bleak without the detour. Thanks for that.”

“Thanks for trashing the car, y’mean?” The sparkly fabric had slipped down enough to bare both her shoulders. Fragile starlight picked out the delicate lines of her collarbones. Dishevelment suited her, he decided.

“I promise to thank your brother for trashing my car before I go.”

Stan casually laid his arm along the seat back and Clary casually nestled into its arc, wriggling a little closer. “I don’t know why. You’re movin’ to Zurich for that fancy job, places to go, people to see, sounds to me like you’re doin’ all right.”

“There are things to look forward to. Doesn’t mean it isn’t lonely going at times.”

“You’ve got family there, right? Your sister and her kids and the grandies?”

She let that hang unanswered for a long moment, lashes lowered, and he found himself stroking her upper arm with his thumb to share a little comfort or stability or something. “It’s possible to live on the same planet and still be a million miles away.” With a subtle shift she pressed her cheek into him. “There’s been so much to deal with and I’ve had to be the tough one for the last couple years. I don’t know how the hell you kept it up.”

“I don’t suppose there’s anythin’ I can punch for ya.”

That won him a dry chuckle. “If only it were that simple.”

Stan dipped his head and pitched his rumble low in the general vicinity of her ear. “All right, then, how about we cross paths again somewhere down the line an’ buck each other up? We’re still on for that date, yeah?”

Clary quivered for a split second - still got it, yup - then rocked back a bit and lifted shrewd, cool eyes to his. “Answer me one question.”

“Shoot.”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Dammit. Stan knew precisely what she meant. “We made a ton of money, y’know. Gonna cover all your expenses and then some, just you wait.” He waggled brows at her.

“Bullshit.”

“Needed to stress-test Soos and Melody’s crowd management skills while I was around to offer sage advice?”

“Nope.” Her expression was smooth as glass, that faint smile sketched along her lips, shallow lines at the corners of her eyes betraying careful amusement.

“Uh, wild coincidence that I walked into Greasy’s right when everyone was lookin’ to blow their summer cash on somethin’ spectacular?” That actually wasn’t too far off from the truth but she was already shaking her head.

“Nice try.” The smile softened into something a little more hesitant. “You don’t have to take any of this more seriously than you want to, Stan.”

He stared at her in momentary shock - had she misread him that badly? - then felt her fingers twining into his and had to turn away to look out the window for a second, the muddle of his intentions and all the calculated risk crystallizing so sharply in his head that it halfway hurt.

Stan muttered into his knuckles. “Iwantedtoshowyouoff.”

Clary’s clasp twitched in his. “Say that again.”

“I wanted to show you off!” He rubbed at his eyes, gritting teeth in frustration. “I mean – dammit, Clary, I got about everythin’ I ever wanted last summer, everythin’ I dumped thirty years of my life into settin’ right and then some, an’ that oughta be enough.” Stan let the glasses drop back down, searching her shadowed expression. “It’s not. You’ve gotta understand that I am one greedy asshole, always have been. I am selfish enough to want more than that.”

He hadn’t even noticed the tension winding tight in her frame, but he sure as hell noticed the twang of its release. The professional mask cracked clean through. There was nothing but blunt determination left in the line of her jaw and the sharp light of her eyes.

“Good.” Clary hooked two fingers into his neckchain and dragged him in; he followed all too willingly.

It was a wreck of a kiss at first. They shifted and huffed, incredulous half-formed giggles hitching in her throat as his glasses jabbed her cheek. His schnoz and her beak were both substantial enough to pose a bit of a challenge.

At last she swayed into the arch of his encircling arm. Stan chased after, finally finding the right angle to lock lips, his tongue grazing hers and dipping further. The faint mmh that caught in her chest sent a shiver of electricity right down to his fingertips.

He’d half forgotten what a pain in the ass it was to get tangled up in the car - it’d been a while - and the little noises she made took on a frustrated note. At last she pulled away enough to give him a direct, wry look, snagged his collar with quick fingers and drew him down.

Stan braced an elbow so he wouldn’t crush her, went for the slope of her neck and tugged impatiently at the scarf with his teeth. Clary freed a hand and fumbled the knot loose, then the fabric, sheer silk slithering into some dark corner and already forgotten as he trailed kisses up the line of her throat. His lips sealed over the frantic flutter of her pulse and the sharp ah that resulted dragged a growl out of him.

Things went blurry after that. A few bits got cast off here and there, her hair clips landing somewhere in the back seat, his medallion under the brake pedal after it whacked her in the chin. Reproachful teeth nipped at the edge of his ear when his chilly hand settled at her waist to stroke a long arc up her side, and he kissed apology along the line of her collarbone until he felt her shudder and freeze.

Stan made himself stop, dragging his head up with an effort from the bare slope of her shoulder, and, oh.

Well, shit.

His palm was trapped flat against her back, fingers under the bra band. Seemed he still remembered how to unclip these slippery bastards one-handed, because he’d just popped the first hook.

Before he could pull away and apologize, Clary’s fingers twisted into his rumpled hair at the nape and tugged – gentle, but commanding – and he met her eye to hazy eye. To his profound relief that wasn’t anger but a bright spark of glee and rather a lot of real interest. “Did you mean to do that?”

Stan felt himself go scarlet to the ears and thanked his stars that she couldn’t see it in the near dark. “Yes and no?”

A startled, pleased laugh rang in the space between them. He watched her think things over, taking a moment to do the same, and – she deserved better than the front seat of the El Diablo, but what could you do – he was absolutely here for this, which didn’t stop a choked groan from constricting his throat when she arched deliberately under him and canted hips up to press just so.

“Mm.” Fuck, she looked smug and he would’ve called her on it if he weren’t so distracted by her nimble hands between them, popping shirt buttons and sliding in under the slick fabric to stroke his chest. “Carpe diem.”

He’d hung out around Ford long enough to know what that meant.

The tone shifted from playful to purposeful in a blink. Stan’s supporting arm slipped around her, fingers threading deep into tangled waves as he sought her open mouth. Clary's flexed knee settled against his hip as he deftly undid hooks two and three -

...right about in time for the blare of a car horn, someone else’s car horn, to shatter the night.

Stan’s head hit the roof as he jerked upright. Clary recoiled so sharply she slid off the seat, curling in tight like a startled barnacle and compressing into the passenger footwell. Through the haze he could make out headlights across the way at Lookout Point.

“Son of a - ”

“SORRY, MR. PINES!”

God fucking dammit he knew that voice.

Pure adrenaline lent him speed he’d pay for later. Stan booted the door open so hard it tried to bounce back and sprang outside, bellowing like a wounded walrus. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, ROBBIE!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, WE SWEAR!”

Stan leaned back into the cabin to flick the headlights on, highbeams still active. Robbie - that greasy kid who’d given Wendy so much trouble, of course he’d turn up like a bad penny at the worst possible moment - flinched behind the wheel and flung up an arm to protect his eyes. His girlfriend, the one with the purple hair and the chronic social media habit, was trying to hide behind her phone.

He clung to the door for balance. None of his blood was where he wanted it to be right this second but he was thinking just clearly enough to be livid. “I DON’T REMEMBER YOUR LAST NAME RIGHT NOW, ROBBIE, BUT YOU BETTER PRAY I NEVER FIND OUT!”

“W - WE WERE JUST LEAVING!” The kid was struggling to get his beater in gear. Stan could hear the pained grind-and-clunk of the transmission from here. “WE DIDN’T SEE YOUR CAR WHEN - ”

“YOU’RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME, KID? DEAD!”

Robbie’s car lurched and screeched and peeled out way too fast for what he knew was a pretty rough road. Stan collapsed heavily onto the driver’s seat, both hands to his face as he tried to collect himself. As the roar subsided in his ears he registered faint noise behind him and pivoted, suddenly frantic. “Clary. You okay, baby?” If she was crying he really would have to kill the kid.

She was sobbing, all right, but with strangled giggling so profound that she couldn’t get enough air to do more than squeak. Stan deflated a little as she gasped and wiped her eyes and wheezed. At last she was composed enough to throw her head back and bray with uncontrollable laughter for a good minute.

“Yeah, very funny…”

“Oh my god,” she rasped. Clary groped around in the footwell until she came up with his chain and its medallion, then levered herself up onto the seat with a creak of springs. “That poor kid’s probably not going to stop until he’s in the next county.”

“Can’t even get a little privacy on a cliff in this town.”

“My hero. That was magnificent.” Stan rolled his eyes but held still as she clipped the chain back into place, hands light at his neck, and straightened his collar.

“Magnificent enough t’ pick up where we left off?” He knew better, but couldn’t resist the broad smirk. The interruption had blown a hole in the mood.

She smirked right back. “Moment’s passed, darling. Another time.” Clary curled forward and did that liquid thing women could do with arms twisting behind to refasten the bra’s hooks. Stan watched, openly appreciative, as she tweaked the spangled top more or less back into place. “We should head back and check in with the camping crew anyway, make sure nothing’s eaten them since dark.”

“Ha. Yeah, they’ll be fine, you have no idea what a mother hen Ford can be and that magnet gun’s not the only trick up his sleeve. I gotta ask, though.” He drew the back of one knuckle down the side of her pale, pretty neck, and smiled to feel her shiver.

“Go on…”

“You never answered. We still on for that date?”

She slung him an arch look. “What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”

Stan snorted. “That’s the cheapest lawyer joke of all time.”

“Lowest common denominator, yep. Now answer me.”

“A good start.”

“Smart man.” Clary leaned in, laying a delicate, deliberate kiss upon his lips like he was something rare and precious. Stan melted a bit in his seat. Both her touch and her lowered eyes lingered as she redid a few of his buttons, then slid back across the cabin to buckle in. “We’re on. I hope it doesn’t take us until next year, though.”

“What, not gonna cuddle up on the way home?” He fired up the car, the reliable old engine rumbling smoothly to life, and put it in reverse.

“Get this land yacht back on asphalt and drive like a half-blind old man, then yes.”

“I always drive like a half-blind old man.”

“I am not reassured.”

It was an easier drive back out. He actually took pains to dodge the worst bumps this time. Once they were on the county road Clary popped the seat belt and slipped beneath the curve of his welcoming arm. The radio crackled protest as she fiddled with the dial. Pickings were slim late on a Sunday night, and she finally settled for 80s schmaltz. Stan groaned, more for show than anything, and she elbowed him in the ribs. “You’ll live.”

“I may regret it, but I’ll live.”

The moon’s waning quarter still hadn’t made it up by the time they hit the Shack’s long drive, meaning it was a bit before midnight at least. The El Diablo glided easily into its slot alongside the Fairlane. “So if you’re not too tuckered out after all that, I maybe got one last little thing for dessert. You game?”

“I’m game. Need to get my hair back under control, though.” Clary squeezed his hand, tugged on her sandals and hopped out the passenger side, leaning into the back seat to retrieve his jacket and her hair clips. “See you in the kitchen in a bit?”

Even tangled and stiff with hairspray, he liked the tumble of waves falling around her features. “It’s nice down!”

She pulled a face at him. “I’m going to run a brush through this mop and grab something a little warmer to wear. See you in a couple minutes.”

They parted ways at the door, Stan upstairs, Clary down her hallway. The house’s unaccustomed quiet was downright strange after last week’s chaos, but familiar. He was humming some awful 80s power ballad under his breath by the time he got Dipper’s laptop and Ford’s antenna rig set up on the kitchen table. The uplink program was bright with alerts, message lines cluttered with incoming texts and photos - apparently the nerd brigade had found exactly what they were looking for.

“Man, we are late,” he muttered, and punched the couple of buttons that would let him page through to Ford.

The uplink connection crackled to life almost instantly. “Stanley, you are late! Where have you been?!”

“Havin’ a nice night out, Sixer. See you’re not dead yet, that’s good, find anythin’ memorable without me?”

Ford did something on his end to get the rest of the crew on speaker. By the time Clary showed up with her hair brushed back and a well-worn zip hoodie over a t-shirt, both Dipper and Ford were talking a mile a minute and Stan was struggling to keep up with the pictures and videos they kept referring to.

“Hey gang!”

“Hey, Clary!” A good fifteen minutes of excited chatter followed. Stan had some trouble tracking once she sat down across the table, drawing idle fingertip circles around the rim of her water glass and smiling right at him.

Mabel insisted on the last word, as usual, shooing Ford and Dipper off to bank the campfire. Her voice came through pitched low. “So did you guys have a nice evening? Because Tambry’s online update feed sure suggests you did….”

“Uh, what now? How have you even got internet out there?” Stan glanced across the table in confusion. Clary blinked back, but was already skimming through something on her phone. After a few moments she choked faintly and turned the screen so he could see a post title: Most Terrifying Moment Of My Short Life.

The video was dark and blurry, thank mercy for small favors, but Stan’s furious roar came through clear as a bell. He laid a hand over his eyes as Clary began to chuckle.

“What were you doing out at Lookout Point, hmmm?”

“Stargazing,” Clary replied, utterly deadpan.

“Suuuuuuuure you were. Are you two a thing yet?”

Clary quirked a brow at him and shook her head minutely. Stan considered. “Yanno, pumpkin, we’re still figurin’ it out. I mean, we made our apologies, we’re friends an’ all that, so I’m sure we’ll hear from her again somewhere down the line.” He reached across the table to hook an index finger into hers.

Mabel’s muffled wail of protest rose on the tiny speaker. “You’ve gotta be kidding! I manage to get you a full day alone and you still can’t make up your minds? You’re perfect for each other and you’re both too old to goof around!”

“I don’t know what to say, honey, we’re both very careful people.” Clary’s clasp tightened in warning as Stan ducked his head and swallowed shocked laughter. “We’re probably going to watch a movie or something before we get to bed. All of you be careful, got it? I expect to see you for dinner tomorrow.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t get back earlier? I’ve got a multimedia presentation on Grunkle Stan’s most amazing feats ready to go! I know he’s a little rough around the edges but personal hygiene isn’t everything - “

Stan spluttered indignantly. Clary bit her lip and winked. “I already know he’s amazing, Mabel. Let us enjoy the rest of our evening and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Yup, great job, sweetheart, be careful out there an’ don’t give Ford too much trouble. Whoops, connection’s waverin’, gotta scram, seeya soon.” The speaker squawked with a rising woooOOOOoooo of interference as Stan grabbed the antenna’s tip and swirled it around. He stabbed a couple buttons to kill the call. “Welp. Guess we know where she stands.”

“I feel a little mean, but could we maybe enjoy being a thing for more than an hour without it being public knowledge?”

“Are we a thing?” Stan squeezed her hand and rose, dragging the stepstool out from its usual corner.

“You think you’re getting rid of me after all that? I already know precisely how much of an asshole you are. That kind of info is gold.” She watched him clamber up onto one of the countertops, sitting back with arms loosely folded. “You all right up there?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, this’ll just take a minute.” He reached way up over the shelves, ran his fingers lightly along the right plank, jabbed a thumb into a knot in the old wood and pulled when he heard the latch pop. “Ford put all kinds of weird hideyholes into this place. Found ‘em all, at least I think.”

Stan stretched and twisted and grunted, ignoring Clary’s quiet chuckles from the kitchen table, and finally fished the bottle he wanted out of the back of the hidden cabinet. She stood by as he cautiously stepped off the counter and picked his way down the stepstool. “Here, check this out.”

“That is an awfully convoluted way to store your booze.”

The squat, long-necked bottle he’d picked out dropped into her grip with a faint slosh. “I’ve got two inquisitive-as-hell teenagers in the house, an’ Mabel is gettin’ pretty good at pickin’ locks. Most of this was here before I was, anyway.”

Clary ran her thumb over the dusty label and her brows popped up. “1976. Bicentennial cognac, no less. What the hell was Ford doing with stuff like this?”

“Heck if I know. I think he got a bunch of junk as gifts when he finished off some of those degrees - found an entire drawer full of handkerchiefs, fancy pens, congratulations cards, that kinda crap. There’re a couple more bottles wedged back there, never really took a close look.” He shuffled across the kitchen to pick through the glassware. “So, up for a nightcap? Do some actual stargazin’?”

Amber liquor gleamed against her palms as she tilted the bottle carefully to catch the light. “This is a decent label. Probably worth something just for the year.”

“Great. Then it’s worth bustin’ open for a celebration.”

Clary cracked him a half-delirious grin, like a teenager about to get into serious trouble. “Drinking this out of juice glasses would be an absolute crime. Let’s do it.”

They ended up on the porch, sitting on the top step for a better view of the sky. Stan fired up the cigar he’d retrieved from upstairs while Clary popped the bottle seal and tipped a bare thimbleful of aromatic liquor into each little glass. They clicked the enameled oranges together and sipped. To Stan it was pretty much just vaguely fruity booze, but she hummed in quiet approval. “Not bad, for a one-horse town.”

“Nothin’ but the best at the Mystery Shack.”

“I feel like I should argue that point, but I really can’t.”

The conversation meandered at intervals between comfortable silences. Eventually he tugged out his much-abused, overstuffed wallet and let her thumb through his photos. She chuckled under her breath as he explained some of the background. Really, that picture of Waddles duct-taped to Gompers didn’t make much sense no matter what kind of spin he put on it.

“Pretty recent stuff.”

“There wasn’t much worth keepin’ track of until last year, not gonna lie, though there’re a million pictures of Mr. Mystery with tourists out there somewhere...nice little side racket.”

“Do you keep money in this wallet from time to time?”

“Nah, I sew hidden pockets into everything for that.” He slipped his arm around her as she snorted in undignified laughter. “C’mon, show me your zoo.”

Clary’s pictures were all digital. She swiped through them, pictures of crooked cobblestone alleys and green flower-starred hillsides, pictures of her pretty dark-blonde niece and two gorgeous little girls, one about ten, one barely more than a toddler.

“My niece is Callista. That’s Nathalie, and the baby is Irene. This’s Phil…” The nephew was a handsome, square-jawed young man with a model-quality smile and a tendency to make funny faces in the background of the family shots. “The family athlete. He runs, he swims, he does that insane Swiss thing where you take the train up into the mountains, strap on your skis and hop out when you’re where you want to be…”

Stan let her ramble and watched her hands. He poured another tiny splash of brandy into her glass when she lifted it up to him. “These’re recent, too?”

“This spring.” One of her fingertips tapped uncertain rhythm against the phone’s corner.

The silence drew out for a while - not uncomfortable, just resigned, maybe - and at length he asked the obvious question. “Got any of your sister?”

She didn’t go stiff, exactly, though there was a subtle exhale. “It didn’t end as well for us as it did for you.”

He felt his heart sink a little for her sake. “Don’t have t’tell me anythin’.”

There was a chuckle, soft and dry as a fallen leaf. “We’re in need-to-know territory now, I’m afraid. It’s easier to show than to tell.” Her swift fingertips flicked across the screen of her phone, pulling up a folder, and within that a long series of dated photos. “This is Charlotte. Charlie.”

Clary’s sister was at least twelve or fifteen years older, blonder, beautiful in a blue-eyed way with a killer smile. A couple of the earliest snapshots could have been plucked from among the seniors in the high school yearbook he hadn’t been around to collect. The bubble cut gave way to a long flip, then went feathered in a familiar image: three blondes in sunhats, lined up oldest to youngest like nesting dolls.

The faces shifted by degrees as she skimmed through. Charlie’s hairstyles went on changing over the years; Callista and Phil started out tiny and grew older; Clary herself was only an occasional presence with her hair drawn back into its familiar knot and variations on her ever-present kerchief.

The shot she paused on was a portrait against a bright blue sky. Clary’s arm draped protectively around Charlie’s shoulders. They wore matching sunglasses, matching defiant grins, and matching designer scarves - Clary’s at her throat, Charlie’s tied jauntily around her shorn head.

Only a handful of pictures followed that one. Charlie’s face and her smile grew thinner but the defiance never wavered. The last was a badly lit candid shot of Clary curled up asleep against her sister on a couch, Charlie pressing a kiss to her brow.

“This was supposed t’be a two-man trip,” Stan said after a while as the screen dimmed.

“Mother died last February. Charlie this January. Last year sucked.” Clary’s laugh was faint and humorless. “Really a candidate for the worst of my life. I spent most of it flying back and forth between Denver and Zurich. Hammering out issues with Mother’s estate, trying to support the kids…we’d been making plans for years. Museums, river cruises, palaces, cathedrals, Paris, Rome…this fucking cross-country tour….”

He could make out her shadowed features by the porch light, mouth bitter and taut. “She made me promise that I’d do this, with the stupid car. Made me promise to do a bunch of other things I didn’t much want to do. Wrote up a bulleted list because she knew I’d make a spreadsheet of the thing and work my way through it. She was right, though, goddamn it.”

Crickets sang into the quiet as Clary forced her breathing to steady. When she spoke again it was measured, and stoic, and barely audible. “She knew me better than I knew her and I will never get to fix that.”

Stan picked up her glass, sloshed in another dollop of brandy, and pressed it into her free hand. She looked down at it for a tired moment, then raised it in salute. “To absent friends. I’m sorry to dump all that on you.��

“To better days.” He tapped his glass against hers. “An’ I promise, they do get better.” They drank slowly and watched the waning quarter-moon track up through the treetops.

“You better take good care of your damnfool brother.”

“Oh, I do. I try, anyway. Some days’re harder than others.”

Leaning into her felt so nice, despite the deepening chill and the gradual stiffness in his legs, that he resisted the weight of weariness longer than he probably should’ve. Eventually he allowed his arm to tighten around her and pressed his cheek into her hair. “It’s gettin’ late an’ you’re gonna be on the road soon. We both oughta get some shut-eye. Anythin’ I can do to help you crash out? Wanna doze off in front of a flick?”

“Mmm. I might stay and watch the stars for a while longer. You probably can’t see how gorgeous it is out here, you’re so used to it.”

“You’re gonna sit here an’ brood half the night, aren’t ya.”

“I love that you’re a sharp observer of the human condition, Stan.” Clary accepted his empty glass with a tiny smile. “I don’t know if I like it as much when you focus it on me.”

Stan shoved the cork home in the old bottle, knowing full well that he should respect her privacy, then felt the words bubble out of him unbidden. “Nope. No way.” She turned a gimlet eye upon him, but he shook his head, resolute. “No damn way. What you oughta do is spend the night.”

Her brows shot up. “What, were you planning to banish me to the back seat of my car?“

“You oughta spend the night with me.” Clary froze in gratifying shock. He took the opportunity to stroke her sharp chin with the pad of his thumb. “C’mon, you already know I make a pretty decent pillow.”

Flickers of expression crossed her features, almost too fast to follow, surprise-amusement-annoyance-grief-exhaustion. “All right. That’s a pitch. Are you going to sell me on it?”

“Sweetpea, if I laid an unwanted hand on you I’d pull back a stump.”

“Ha! You’re not wrong.” She cocked her head, eyes softening. “I think you might be weighing your odds, though.”

Stan cleared his throat. “Maybe a little. I swear I’ll behave. Look, it’ll be warm. If you need t’talk or somethin’ in the wee hours you can just wake me up. I’ve done - “ He paused, because her lips were beginning to tremble. “I’ve done more’n my share of rough nights alone.”

Clary pulled it together by main force of will, blinking a few times, the fine line between her brows deepened into a sharp notch. After a long minute or so she closed her eyes and sighed. “All right,” she murmured. “My air mattress or your lumpy bachelor twin?”

“The lumpy bachelor twin got hauled off and torched while I wasn’t here to argue – after I got all the cash out of it, fortunately. I’ve got a nice new orthopedic full-size. Tight quarters, but not that tight.”

She slipped her free arm around him for a momentary hug, then eased out of his half embrace to rise. “I’ll drop off the glasses and get my pajamas. You go pick up all your laundry.”

“I don’t need to pick up my laundry,” Stan groused, levering himself stiffly upright. He accepted Clary’s hand when she offered, grumbling all the way. The brandy went back upstairs with him because hell if he was going to climb the counter again to stash it in the hidden cabinet. He had time to change into the usual sleepytime uniform of boxers and tank top and was tossing discarded socks from the floor into the hamper when her knock came light upon his door.

At least the sheets were fresh, even if he’d forgotten to make the bed, as usual. “Uh – one sec.” Stan stalled until he’d gotten the last of the dirty clothes rounded up, then let her in, rubbing the back of his neck as she stepped through to survey the sorta-controlled chaos of his personal domain. There was one sad bedside light which left the far corners dim – just as well he’d never upgraded to a decent reading lamp.

The pajamas were lightweight, a loose jersey shirt over shorts, her hair pulled back into an unruly ponytail. Stan squirmed a little as she swept eyes across the room, missing nothing. Her smile widened by slow degrees. “In my defense I wasn’t exactly expectin’ company.“

Clary nudged at his chest, then his bicep, turning him around. “It’s your space. I don’t care. Go on, get, I’m sleepy here.” He shuffled obligingly over towards the bed, then stilled as he felt her palm come to rest at the back of his right shoulder. The careful arc of her thumb traced over the burn scars – he’d been in actual sleeves all month. She hadn’t seen it.

“That, ah. That’s – “

She leaned in, her warmth making the length of his back prickle, and kissed him right at the base of the neck where the most stubborn of his stiff vertebrae jutted. Stan shut up. “If I need to know you can tell me another time. Bed. Now.”

It took a few minutes of shifting around, fitting in with no space to spare, but eventually they nestled face to face with the blankets pulled over. Clary plucked the glasses from his nose and set them behind her on the nightstand. Stan tugged at her ponytail with a sad questioning look and she crinkled her nose at him. “Men and hair,” she muttered, but pulled out the elastic and put it aside, then reached way out to snap off the lamp.

They gradually relaxed together in the near-dark. One of Clary’s hands eased between them to rest against his breastbone. Stan leaned in to kiss her temple, listening to the low rusty rumble of her chuckle and then the rhythm of her breathing as it grew deep and even.

He drifted across the line into peaceful sleep without really noticing he’d done it.

Tumblr masterpost

Clary looks over, sober-eyed. “You don’t have to take any of this more seriously than you want to, Stan.”

I am serious enough to see where this goes in a couple months.

I am completely serious.

Take the very last exit to Friendsville.

[comicteaparty]

March 21st-March 27th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from March 21st, 2020 to March 27th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What are some background details you know about your story that won’t ever actually come up in the main narrative?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh boy... So many in Whispers of the Past... The first—which I believe I've mentioned before—is that some of the characters' sexualities never really get brought up outside of some subtle subtext. For example, Ryukou is asexual aromantic, but he is married, and he honestly doesn't even know that being aroace is a thing. His wife, Maya, is bisexual, and her attraction to women is hinted at, but not explicitly said. The second background detail that will likely never make it into the main narrative is Kelan's grief after SPOILER the death of his wife. END SPOILER The story takes place years after this event, and yet he still hasn't completely recovered. That being said, it just never really comes up in the narrative, again, outside of subtext. Thirdly, Izrekiel actually has a dependency on physical contact and skinship, because of the lack of affection he was given as a child. This, once again, only really comes up in subtext and is hinted at through his actions, but it is never explained. Aaaaand finally, there is a lot of magical lore that is never explained even remotely. In the story, it is treated very much like a soft magic system, but there are some "harder" elements that go into explaining why certain things have happened, but... they are not actually explained in the story. More like... I know about them, and I can explain these things to anyone who cares to ask (edited)

Capitania do Azar

Oh I suppose that in https://www.sarilho.net/en/ I'm never gonna go in detail about the geopolitics, the different power structures or even how the main empire is structured. We may get hints at it, but it's not necessary for the story so I don't think I'm gonna include much. Details about characters' sexualities are prolly just gonna be hinted at mainly because they don't have the words to express them the same way we do Also I really care about the differences between the different languages and particularly between the spoken and written versions of these, but I can't find a way to have a character explain those just because so you'll have to figure it out through background information like posters and graffiti

sagaholmgaard

Ohh this prompt came at the right time because it's been on my mind lately!! In Reclaim, https://tapas.io/series/_Reclaim_ My two main characters, Albus and Styrka, are in a queerplatonic relationship, which they don't have the word for and it doesn't ever come up except in subtext. I'm trying to write them so that it really shows that they love each other, and everyone knows this, but there won't be a point were they "get together" so to speak because they already have everything they want between each other! And I'm very Soft for this but also nervous that when the story is finished people might feel let down that it doesn't end up in straight up romance? if that makes sense And there's a lot of history research I did that is contextually there but not mentioned in words. That's just one of those things where my knowledge is deeper than what shows in the comic, but I think the story is better for it :D (It's not historic fiction because I'm taking a lot of liberties, but the research is helpful all the same)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

One of the paladin/church knight's gay, but it never comes up, because, you know, marriage in their world's decided by the parents, because it's a matter of inheritance and heirs not love. He's married, and actually decent friends with his wife and children, but he's taking his oaths seriously. So he never even mentions the people's he's attracted too.

There are openly gay couples in the story, it just didn't work out for him; his family needed that alliance.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

In Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) I have two gods that drive the entire story. But seven other gods existed at one point in time. I will be delving into at least two other gods’ stories - as a good background for why the remaining two are in such a tumultuous relationship - but there are five others that I don’t really plan on writing about in great detail. Their symbols and names may pop up in various texts/decorations/etc, but there’s not enough time for a super detailed character study of each. Perfect for side stories, though

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Rainy Day Dreams (http://rainydaydreams.mariahcurrey.com/) takes place in an alternate dimension and the plot deals mostly with interdimensional travelers, but the world is post first interstellar contact also. Only the story isn't a sci-fi so there's no real reason to talk about how robust their space program is and there are already monsters so there's no easy way to tell who's a native and who's and alien.

eli [a winged tale]

Whoa Mariah that sounds fun! I love how everyone’s worlds are complex and in depth and there are clues within the story

Would these details be part of another project/side stories/lorebook? What’s everyone’s plans for these secrets

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

My secrets are basically just stewing in my brain I mean, I guess if a reader ever asked, I'd spill all the secrets, but so far, that hasn't happened.

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

same lmao

I guess a background detail the comic won't get into is how the imagery in Cara's dream became promiment before her dream boyfriend came to the picture. I did wrote a prequel where she was having dreams of her late grandma who's stories got super visual in her head. Most of the events she told to Cara were from late 70's Vietnam.(edited)

some of those dreams and nightmares were partly inspired from my parent's part growing up in the time, such as my dad encountering a ghoulish corpse with his grandpa and my mom actually building things from a hut in the jungle

so yeah lmao. ghost story dreams

eli [a winged tale]

Mariah I’m curious about non-scifi parallel universe space program alien monsters are they more the reasoning for how the story exists but you won’t be going into depth with them? (Ie not a plot twisty thing?)

Ghost story dreams and parallel places in real life sound like a good atmosphere/mood element in your story!

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

yeah lmao. I wasn't sure how to add it but Cara does mention about her grandma's story in future chapters (if my hands let me draw faster lolol). but as a small tibit. Maybe I'll sit down and write more as a side story lol

eli [a winged tale]

Side stories sound like a great way to showcase more of the world

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

I'll consider it lolol

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Mariah I’m curious about non-scifi parallel universe space program alien monsters are they more the reasoning for how the story exists but you won’t be going into depth with them? (Ie not a plot twisty thing?)

They're just kind of an additional details that I came up with while thinking about the world. The planet itself I decided a long time ago is Eart but like 100,000 years in the future so the tectonic plates have shifted and the continents are different. The setting is kind of a mix of old-timey and futuristic, but also mixed with magic so the lines between what is technology and what's just supernatural are already pretty blurred. So since it's already sort of a futuristic society I thought it would just be a neat addition to also have had aliens either have shown up or been discovered. I also figured that since the world is super used to inter-dimensional travelers they probably wouldn't be super freaked out to life from off-planet since they already know they aren't alone in the multi-verse? X'D but this stuff really doesn't have any baring on the main story. Like it might be something Mara tells Tristin as some point to blow her human mind. I just like to dig into little setting corners and make tunnels readers probably won't ever see X)

eli [a winged tale]

Ooh that sounds really neat! A big world to discover for the attentive readers

DanitheCarutor

Oh I got some stuff! 1. Part of this can be spoilers for future scenes, so I'm putting it behind a thing. SPOILER Apollo's origin. He was adopted and while at some point him and Julian discuss his parents briefly, it never really comes up in the main narrative. Apollo himself doesn't really care much since he was adopted as a baby and doesn't even know who they are outside of a picture that was given to him as a kid. Essentially they were an Irish couple who moved to the states, the father died at some point and the mother followed close behind during childbirth. There weren't any known relatives, at least ones that wanted to him, so Apollo went into the system and was lucky enough to be adopted almost immediately. END SPOILER 2. Julian's origin. This is kind of brought up briefly later on, but Julian doesn't really know where they're from so nothing much comes of it outside of remembering small bits of how their life was before being found. Although it is eluded to what the situation possibly could have been. 3. Julian's real age and date of birth. Since they didn't have any kind of ID the doctors had to guess their age, which isn't an important detail for the story so I don't see a point in adding it. 4. The details of what happened at Hopeful Hands. This place is discussed a lot, but the talk is more about the trauma that was inflicted and how to move on, rather than lingering on the details. Although enough of what happened is brought up to get a good picture of what kind of place it is/was. I figured laying it all out would be a little too much, and would take away from the main point of the story. 5. The lives of Apollo's friends. There are a couple side character who get fleshed out a bit later on, but since the story isn't about them I didn't see a need in showing more than what is necessary.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Hmm... there's certainly quite a few things that don't show up in the main narrative. Like Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R is very much the Mizuki show, very few other characters get deep explorations into their backstories. But, like, that's what the short stories are for. As for things that never show up in the series at all... the only ones I can think of are the history of the world (because, like, it's pretty boring) and the specifics of how certain technology works. Like, I have a list of people & companies that various locations in the series were named after, and a list of the dynasties in the Giduli Kingdom. There's... not really any interesting stories there, it's just a dry list, so it's not something really worth caring about. And, like, saying "FTL travel in this world works by traveling to a parallel universe where everything is exactly the same except half as big" is kinda interesting I guess... but there's no reason for any character to mention it, and that specific detail really isn't relevant to the story besides "there is FTL travel in this world".

Feather J. Fern

Oh man, for Teasday, any detail about what the actual background of the story is. It's mostly character driven, if the characters don't care, or don't know, they don't talk about it. For Go Figure, I think no one is going to be told anything about the other battles in the past but they did happen.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

There are so many stories I have built into the backstories of various characters that probably won't come up in the main work but have thought about making other adjacent comics about. For example I could imagine doing a prequel type thing about Joe's life & exploits

Since he is a cool character but unfortunately dead for this entire story

AntiBunny

In AntiBunny, http://AntiBunny.net/ I can't think of any reason to bring up the fact that Runo is asexual. Juju is also bisexual, and that also never comes up.

Desnik

Right now it's the warlock's magic system. I got it all worked out and then it suddenly had nothing to do with my plot.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

I think sexuality details are easier to work in than a lot of people expect. You don't need a character to stand up and announce Have I Mentioned That I Am Asexual Today -- it can be an offhand mention that not all your readers will even pick up on. (But the ones who are looking for it will notice.) https://leifandthorn.com/comic/family-deserts-4-33/

What I've teased but never been able to work into Leif & Thorn canon (yet?) are the details of the World's Largest Cheese Sculpture.

There's also a lot of country names and flags in the bank that haven't shown up yet...but I'm about to draw scenes from a big international song competition, so I'm probably gonna need even more than I already have.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

TBH as an ace person, I don't really pick up on these things. It has to be more concrete for me. Kudos for those who do pick up on them and find them validating, though.

The cheese sculpture sounds epic.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Ahhh, that's what "reading the comments section to check out other people's theories" is for!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I do that, but I don't consider that canon until the actual comic convinces me

It's also not something we creators can rely on, especially those of us who don't get many comments...

I'm not saying this is bad. Offhand mentions are great, just not concrete proof for everybody (and nothing is for everybody, sooooo).

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Yeah, as a reader I like a lot of comics that don't get many comments...but it's cool when they do and there are people coming up with things.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

So I get it if a fellow creator finds it difficult to show that a character is ace -- like, maybe they're like me and they want Concrete Proof rather than an indication.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

But the creator would already have concrete proof, right? Since it's their character. And the idea is that, even if it won't reach all readers, the indications are still better than nothing.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, like I said, they're not bad to have.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

(for reference, the comic I linked above isn't the first offhand-mention related to that character, it's just the point when readers started putting it together)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from slipping in those indications. Just saying different strokes for different folks.

DanitheCarutor

Reminds me of a comic I read called 'WANDERING' (https://tapas.io/series/wandern), the main male character in it is ace, although this is never stated out right in the story. At some point readers were speculating about his sexuality due to some hints, although I was totally oblivious. Didn't have any idea where the discussion came from. I do agree that a reader is more likely to pick up on something if they're looking for it though, as someone who doesn't care too much about a character's sexuality and gender (when those subjects aren't important to the story) I don't pick up on then unless the author holds my hand a little. Although when it comes to one of my character's genders it's never stated in my comic either, someone just asks about pronouns and attire later on and that's it. Kind of ironic. Lol

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm in a similar boat. Most of my characters' orientations are left ambiguous. I may need to drop an additional hint or two for some of them...

DanitheCarutor

Pfff right? I don't think my comic even had the word 'gay' in it until a few pages ago and I'm already into chapter 5. (to be fair, Apollo's sexuality is pretty obvious. The hits are really unsubtle.) I've thought about making my character's gender more easy to read for oblivious people like me, but that part of the comic is more about what makes them feel good in their own skin rather than putting a title to it. So people who miss my Twitter posts and author's comments can just speculate for themselves, I guess.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I can respect that. For me, a big part of the reason I'm wanting to put more hints is because I don't want people to accuse me of.... what people accused Legend of Korra about (I didn't watch it, but I did see some of those complaints)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ah... The good ol' "why is she randomly bi?"

They didn't do a good job of showing it throughout the series up until that point at the end

But, big but, the creators mentioned that she was always intended to be bi, but they were afraid that Nickelodeon wouldn't let them represent a bi character on TV.(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Again, coming from someone who hasn't watched it, I feel like the complaint should be "why is she suddenly in love" rather than "why is she suddenly bi" -- same issue with shoehorned in straight romance

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

That too

These characters were fighting over the same man at some point

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

big shrug indeed, it sounds like

DanitheCarutor

Oooh! I thought it was the "stop the show to announce my gender/sexuality" thing. I never saw the show either and didn't see many of the complaints since I don't hang out on social media very often. Lol @keii’ii (Heart of Keol) That's understandable! With how stuff like that is nowadays it's better to be safe and make sure readers know, rather than not make it known till the last possible minute. It does kind of suck if putting in bigger hints doesn't mesh with will your story though.

Gosh, about the Korra thing, they could have dropped some subtle pick up lines in while fighting over the dude. But not wanting your show to get pulled or not wanting to be denied stuff is understandable.

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

oh yeah, the LoK convos about Korra and Asami. I watched the show during that time and it's just rip

Nick said to the creators they will pull the show if there's an explict statement that Kora and Asami being BI

so they had to be lowkey as hell in the end, which at the time of 2013-2014? idk the year

it was a steping stone for american cartoons I guess rip

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, and even though LoK aired back when things were a little different.... honestly I still feel that kinda pressure from EVERY angle, just a different flavor of it.

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

yea

DanitheCarutor

Well, last minute LGBT+ is better than none. Now there are a few shows like that, right? SU is super into it? (I don't watch this show either so I'm guessing based on fan discussion) and the MLP final dropped in some last minute stuff.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I have at least one character with cross orientation, and that's really awkward to show when I don't wanna put any... sex in the comic. (It's got lots of juvenile "tee hee butts" kinda stuff, but nothing steamy)

AntiBunny

Other tidbits I've thought of that I couldn't really address without just dropping a big exposition bomb are bits of lagosapien biology. They for instance have a shorter adolescence than humans, so they're shorter, but reach adulthood sooner. Their eyes are a bit wider than a human's, giving them a wider field of view, but less depth perception, and that they have higher muscular density, but being about half the size are on average human, are a little weaker than an adult human.

eli [a winged tale]

I know some webcomics have world lores and character notes at the end of each chapter

mathtans

Oh, things that don't show up? Randomly I'll toss in here that Expona is left handed. (Mostly consistently, I may have slipped up in the art once or twice.) Never something that makes sense for characters to talk about though, and not plot relevant, so... does that qualify? I dunno.

Joichi / Sarah

@Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn) sorry I'm late but I like the way you point out about asexuality. I was thinking of how to show concrete proof one's ace. But most of the time, I can pick up 'emotional signs' if it has inner monologue about romance.

The hard part of it, is being one myself, and it's always 'been like this' but in comic, it has to be said somewhere

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Ah, good to hear!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

And yeah, that was my intention, encouraging people who feel stuck between "explicit announcement" or "nothing at all" to remember that you have in-between options. And if you take that approach, there's all kinds of creative/offbeat/fun things you can do with it.

(Applies to everything else, too, sexual orientation just happens to be the thing people were talking about when it came up.)

[thetroublewithloveis-blog]

INVERSO TEMPUS [closed]

[ @fantasticnumber14 ]

For the first time since they’d begun these Canon jumps months ago, Rose Tyler had landed inside of a women’s loo. The loo hadn’t been empty at the time either, and Rose had sufficiently scared the holy ghost out of a poor unsuspecting girl who had been washing her hands. That girl had begun to scream for security, and had run from the loo nearly instantly with Rose right behind her attempting to think of some sort of reasonable lie. As soon as Rose stepped out of the loo however, she stopped in her tracks and felt a twinge of anxiety slice into her abdomen. Oh no.

People were starting to filter out of doorways and stairwells, curious as to what the commotion was, and they were all staring right at Rose. Apparently the loo was inside of a Uni building, which meant security cameras as well. Sodding brilliant. Even if none of these strangers noticed the smoke rising from her blue leather jacket or the fact that her clothing was slightly different than theirs, those bloody cameras would. Hearing another round of screaming from the girl coming from another corridor, Rose turned briefly to the curious eyes staring at her and said, “Huge rat. Came right at us. Might wanna call pest control.” before turning on her heel and legging it down the corridor after the terrified girl. 

If Torchwood or UNIT found out about this she’d probably be taken into custody again and she didn’t fancy losing another month’s worth of jumps as time was in such short supply already. When Rose turned down the final first-level corridor, however, she saw the girl vanish behind two double doors that lead outside at the end of the hall and knew she would never catch her in time.

“Dammit!” She shout-whispered, kicking the wall next to her and breathing heavily from her wasted efforts. If she told Micks or Owen about this over the Comm, they would immediately activate the Canon and bring her back, despite her not even knowing where and when she was or if she’d managed to finally find the Doctor’s proper timeline. Anything she planned to do she had to do before she turned on her wrist Comm, and she had to sort it out before she ended up in some Torchwood cell underground or worse, a UNIT medical lab.

Leaning back against the wall she’d just assaulted, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, contemplating her options.

[kurtwarren54]

Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag

I had originally meant to get this post up before I had Otis, but it’s even better now because I can actually share what I packed and what I actually used. The truth is, I overpacked. There was so much stuff I didn’t use. What I will say is I am glad I brought it so that I could feel out what I really needed. I would rather be over prepared than under prepared always. I did separate my hospital bag into 3 different bags: Labor, Post Partum, and Baby. I found this to be SO helpful in staying organized in the hospital and not losing anything because I would only use each bag when needed. Everyone experience and needs are completely different when it comes to what comforts you through labor and after. I had envisioned doing a whole newborn shoot in the hospital and had prepped both my clothes and baby outfits for this but I didn’t end up doing that and instead just took some candid shots with just Blake and I (with the help of our incredible labor nurse).  For your reference, all the items with a * next to them are items I actually used in the hospital with an explanation in italics. Hope this post is helpful for all you soon to be mamas out there!

LABOR

*TDE Nylon Tote Bag: I opted to separate my Labor + Post Partum items so that we don’t have to rush the hospital with 500 bags and overload Blake (since he will be carrying everything). Also this will keep me organized on only taking out the essentials during Labor. I also have some extra room in this bag to stow things from the hospital that we might need to bring home. It was a great plan to separate my labor items and post partum items. We were able to head into the hospital quickly without dragging a million bags especially since I could barely walk in because I was in so much pain. This also made it easy so we didn’t leave anything behind when we switched rooms and didn’t have to worry about packing things up.

*Water bottle: Hydration is so important and it will be great to have my own water bottle with built in straw to ensure I take small sips often. this was so key having at the hospital to be able to easily drink water without spilling all over myself especially in recovery the nurses would just fill it up for me.

*Aquaphor + chapstick: Dry hospital means dry lips so this will be key. I applied this many times in the hospital so happy I packed both chapstick and aquaphor.

*Bluetooth speaker + playlists: I have Blake on speaker duty and we have some playlists/music ready that I love and will help to create a relaxed mood. This was huge for me for delivery. It really set the mood to be listening to music that soothed and relaxed me to distract me from all the medical things being prepared for labor. It helped to really get me in a calm and relaxed zone for before I started pushing and through delivery. Otis came out listening to Otis Redding naturally.

*Phone charger with extra long cord: this was one of the number one things people suggested I bring to the hospital. Extra long charging cords will ensure I can keep my phone charged to get in touch with family and snap some photos of our little guy! I made sure to immediately have Blake plug my phone in when we got to our labor room to make sure my phone was 100% charged for when baby first arrived to snap those precious photos.

*Contacts + contact solution: Through most of labor right before pushing, I was wearing my glasses since I was able to sleep/rest for a bit. But I wanted to be fully alert for pushing. I also was given an oxygen mask in between pushing (since I have asthma) so I wanted to make sure it was all easy and not wearing my glasses. So glad I quick put them in before we started to push. What I didn’t bring was a mirror to put them in but luckily the nurse used her camera in selfie mode to help me put them in. Labor and Delivery nurses are literally angels on earth.

*Glasses + case: Don’t want to forget this since my eyes can easily dry out if I am wearing my contacts.

*Nikon camera + memory card + charger: I am always prepared and making sure we have all the gear to snap those first memories with our new family member. I also made a pinterest board of photo inspiration in case I need to enlist the help of a family member to grab a shot or two for me in the hospital! I am SO happy I brought my nice camera in my labor bag. I made sure to have Blake pull it out and put it on the table and we preset our settings before the big moment to have it ready to grab and snap away.

Laptop + charger: You never know how long you will be in the hospital. If we want to put on movie, or do anything to distract myself, at least I will have the option if we bring it.

Inhaler: This one is important! I have allergy/sports induced asthma so it’s always good to be prepared with my inhaler since labor will be a physical experience.

*Letterboard: I got this one from letterfolk and don’t know if I will use it in an announcement photo but I brought it just in case. I also pre-cut baby’s name out of the letters and put in a ziplock so we don’t have to think about anything if we decide to use it. We didn’t use this till post partum but I am so glad I brought it, pre-written out, so snap a quick photo to share Otis’ arrival. Having it already filled out made it easy to just pull it out and snap a photo without having to worry about setting the board up. This was a time and energy saver.

POST PARTUM

*TDE Overnight Bag: I was excited for this overnight bag to come in. It’s oversized and comes with a large over the shoulder strap so it will be easy for Blake to tow into the hospital.

*Nightgown + pajamas: Since I plan to try breastfeeding, I wanted to make sure to bring some button down pajama options to not only feel a little bit like myself, but to also have easy boob access. So I have both a nightgown button down from Nordstrom and pants set from eberjey. Both I adore because they are soft and cozy and will make me feel more at home. For the most part, i spent my time in my hospital gown. It was such a bloody mess (sorry TMI) in those mesh underwear that I didn’t want any of my clothing to get ruined. What I did use was one of my pajama dresses for when we had guests visit the hospital so I did feel a little more put together. When they left, I changed back into a hospital gown.

Robe: Who really knows if I will feel like wearing clothes… besides the mesh underwear I hear the hospital will give me. HA! But it will be nice to have something warm to wrap around me since I always tend to be cold. This robe is from Ingrid & Isabel and is thicker than a silk robe so it will really keep me warm.

Nursing tank: Brought this Ingrid & Isabel tank along to either wear as a pajama top or wear home and to be able to nurse easily.

Nursing bra + nipple pads: I had a really hard time finding nursing bras that I loved, but this one from BOOB is so comfy and I have big hopes for it.

Sleep mask: A friend of mine (thank you Erin!) recently shared that I should slip a sleep mask into my hospital bag. I typically don’t have trouble sleeping with lights around me but she reminded me that in the hospital environment, everything is always on and blinking since everyone is constantly checking in on mom and baby. So I packed one just in case and so did Blake!

Slippers: This is a luxe item to pack, but honestly, I hate my bare feet touching the ground ESPECIALLY on a cold hospital floor. The UGG slide slippers are perfect to keep my feet happy and will still fit my fat foot if it’s still swollen after pregnancy (which I have heard you often swell more after) so glad to have something that will fit even when I head home.

*Flip Flops: These have 2 jobs. Both for in the shower (ew gross hospital floors!!) I can also wear them home since my feet will likely be swollen from delivery. These havianas are a go to fav always. Glad I brought these for when I took a shower in the hospital.

Nipple cream: Everyone said, “pack nipple cream” so I did.

*Travel size shampoo + conditioner: Packed my fav tresemme mini shampoo and conditioners to feel like myself. So while I didn’t use any of my makeup during my stay, it was very comforting to be able to wash my hair and take a hot shower. It made me feel so good to get clean and have a tiny bit of self care in the hospital.

*Bodywash: Hospitals are so dry so packing my own Dove body was is key.

Dry shampoo: In case I am not allowed to shower, or I just don’t feel like, dry shampoo from drybar will save my day!!

*Facewash: Can’t leave home without a little face wash from Simple (and facewipes from neutrogena below) because who knows what state I head to the hospital in. Washing my face felt SO good in the hospital. A tiny bit of self care goes a long way.

Face wipes

Makeup (concealer, bb cream, primer, mascara, bronzer, eyebrow pencil): My makeup dream team. I know, I know some people are likely rolling their eyes like, “there is no way you will have time or want to put on makeup etc” but you know what, I would rather be prepared and there is something to be said about pulling yourself together with some basics to lift your mood and spirits after Labor. Also if I get the chance to take some photos with our little man, a little concealer is gonna make me feel HUMAN. I only packed my ESSENTIALS: tarte shape tape concealer and bb cream because I slather them on with my hands and fingers in 5 seconds. Also I add 2 drops of Laura mercier radiance primer into my bb cream for a little instant glow. Then my new fav bronzer + eyebrow pencil from Hourglass to give my face a little dimension and my brows life. And mascara to finish it off. Can do this simple look in less than 5 minutes.

*Colace:  So glamorous I know. But I want to be prepared and EVERYONE has recommended I bring this to help ease…. Well you know. Poop. Luckily the hospital started me on colace but I am glad I brought it as a backup.

Towel: Alot of people suggest

Compression socks: With my one foot being so swollen these last few weeks, I am bringing compression socks to the hospital for after labor.

Silk pillowcase: I brought one of my favorite pillow cases from Silk with me. Not my actual pillow (bc I don’t want to forget it there!!) but the pillow case will at least make me feel more at home. Who knows if I will ACTUALLY use it but it’s so small that it’s really easy to pack. Also I made sure to pack a colored pillowcase so I don’t forget it.

*Going home outfit: I packed a couple options to go home in since I didn’t know how I would feel. Some leggings, gym clothes, and a loose dress. I ended up wearing a loose dress from Boob design since I had on those bulky pads and mesh underwear and didn’t want to wear anything tight for comfort.

BABY

*Pottery Barn Diaper Bag: This was actually a gift and I love that it’s monogrammed with our last name initial. Perfect bag to tote babies first outfits! I used my baby blankets, swaddle, and hats for some snapshots of Otis during our hospital stay. Was nice to dress baby up for the first time and make the experience a little more personal than the hospital blankets they provide. I enjoyed dressing Otis up for the first time!! Swoon.

*2 hats

*2 swaddles

*2 outfits

*2 baby blankets for photos

*Cord Blood kit: I actually had Blake pack the cord blood kit since it’s a little too large for the diaper bag. We went with CBR as the company and I have referral codes if any new mamas out there are interested just shoot me an email. Not everyone does cord blood + cell banking but it’s been something I am very interested in so we hope to be able to collect samples at birth.

In photos: Wearing storq dress / baby outfit from 12/12 / pillows from the little market

The post Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/09/12/pregnancy-packing-my-hospital-bag/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag

I had originally meant to get this post up before I had Otis, but it’s even better now because I can actually share what I packed and what I actually used. The truth is, I overpacked. There was so much stuff I didn’t use. What I will say is I am glad I brought it so that I could feel out what I really needed. I would rather be over prepared than under prepared always. I did separate my hospital bag into 3 different bags: Labor, Post Partum, and Baby. I found this to be SO helpful in staying organized in the hospital and not losing anything because I would only use each bag when needed. Everyone experience and needs are completely different when it comes to what comforts you through labor and after. I had envisioned doing a whole newborn shoot in the hospital and had prepped both my clothes and baby outfits for this but I didn’t end up doing that and instead just took some candid shots with just Blake and I (with the help of our incredible labor nurse).  For your reference, all the items with a * next to them are items I actually used in the hospital with an explanation in italics. Hope this post is helpful for all you soon to be mamas out there!

LABOR

*TDE Nylon Tote Bag: I opted to separate my Labor + Post Partum items so that we don’t have to rush the hospital with 500 bags and overload Blake (since he will be carrying everything). Also this will keep me organized on only taking out the essentials during Labor. I also have some extra room in this bag to stow things from the hospital that we might need to bring home. It was a great plan to separate my labor items and post partum items. We were able to head into the hospital quickly without dragging a million bags especially since I could barely walk in because I was in so much pain. This also made it easy so we didn’t leave anything behind when we switched rooms and didn’t have to worry about packing things up.

*Water bottle: Hydration is so important and it will be great to have my own water bottle with built in straw to ensure I take small sips often. this was so key having at the hospital to be able to easily drink water without spilling all over myself especially in recovery the nurses would just fill it up for me.

*Aquaphor + chapstick: Dry hospital means dry lips so this will be key. I applied this many times in the hospital so happy I packed both chapstick and aquaphor.

*Bluetooth speaker + playlists: I have Blake on speaker duty and we have some playlists/music ready that I love and will help to create a relaxed mood. This was huge for me for delivery. It really set the mood to be listening to music that soothed and relaxed me to distract me from all the medical things being prepared for labor. It helped to really get me in a calm and relaxed zone for before I started pushing and through delivery. Otis came out listening to Otis Redding naturally.

*Phone charger with extra long cord: this was one of the number one things people suggested I bring to the hospital. Extra long charging cords will ensure I can keep my phone charged to get in touch with family and snap some photos of our little guy! I made sure to immediately have Blake plug my phone in when we got to our labor room to make sure my phone was 100% charged for when baby first arrived to snap those precious photos.

*Contacts + contact solution: Through most of labor right before pushing, I was wearing my glasses since I was able to sleep/rest for a bit. But I wanted to be fully alert for pushing. I also was given an oxygen mask in between pushing (since I have asthma) so I wanted to make sure it was all easy and not wearing my glasses. So glad I quick put them in before we started to push. What I didn’t bring was a mirror to put them in but luckily the nurse used her camera in selfie mode to help me put them in. Labor and Delivery nurses are literally angels on earth.

*Glasses + case: Don’t want to forget this since my eyes can easily dry out if I am wearing my contacts.

*Nikon camera + memory card + charger: I am always prepared and making sure we have all the gear to snap those first memories with our new family member. I also made a pinterest board of photo inspiration in case I need to enlist the help of a family member to grab a shot or two for me in the hospital! I am SO happy I brought my nice camera in my labor bag. I made sure to have Blake pull it out and put it on the table and we preset our settings before the big moment to have it ready to grab and snap away.

Laptop + charger: You never know how long you will be in the hospital. If we want to put on movie, or do anything to distract myself, at least I will have the option if we bring it.

Inhaler: This one is important! I have allergy/sports induced asthma so it’s always good to be prepared with my inhaler since labor will be a physical experience.

*Letterboard: I got this one from letterfolk and don’t know if I will use it in an announcement photo but I brought it just in case. I also pre-cut baby’s name out of the letters and put in a ziplock so we don’t have to think about anything if we decide to use it. We didn’t use this till post partum but I am so glad I brought it, pre-written out, so snap a quick photo to share Otis’ arrival. Having it already filled out made it easy to just pull it out and snap a photo without having to worry about setting the board up. This was a time and energy saver.

POST PARTUM

*TDE Overnight Bag: I was excited for this overnight bag to come in. It’s oversized and comes with a large over the shoulder strap so it will be easy for Blake to tow into the hospital.

*Nightgown + pajamas: Since I plan to try breastfeeding, I wanted to make sure to bring some button down pajama options to not only feel a little bit like myself, but to also have easy boob access. So I have both a nightgown button down from Nordstrom and pants set from eberjey. Both I adore because they are soft and cozy and will make me feel more at home. For the most part, i spent my time in my hospital gown. It was such a bloody mess (sorry TMI) in those mesh underwear that I didn’t want any of my clothing to get ruined. What I did use was one of my pajama dresses for when we had guests visit the hospital so I did feel a little more put together. When they left, I changed back into a hospital gown.

Robe: Who really knows if I will feel like wearing clothes… besides the mesh underwear I hear the hospital will give me. HA! But it will be nice to have something warm to wrap around me since I always tend to be cold. This robe is from Ingrid & Isabel and is thicker than a silk robe so it will really keep me warm.

Nursing tank: Brought this Ingrid & Isabel tank along to either wear as a pajama top or wear home and to be able to nurse easily.

Nursing bra + nipple pads: I had a really hard time finding nursing bras that I loved, but this one from BOOB is so comfy and I have big hopes for it.

Sleep mask: A friend of mine (thank you Erin!) recently shared that I should slip a sleep mask into my hospital bag. I typically don’t have trouble sleeping with lights around me but she reminded me that in the hospital environment, everything is always on and blinking since everyone is constantly checking in on mom and baby. So I packed one just in case and so did Blake!

Slippers: This is a luxe item to pack, but honestly, I hate my bare feet touching the ground ESPECIALLY on a cold hospital floor. The UGG slide slippers are perfect to keep my feet happy and will still fit my fat foot if it’s still swollen after pregnancy (which I have heard you often swell more after) so glad to have something that will fit even when I head home.

*Flip Flops: These have 2 jobs. Both for in the shower (ew gross hospital floors!!) I can also wear them home since my feet will likely be swollen from delivery. These havianas are a go to fav always. Glad I brought these for when I took a shower in the hospital.

Nipple cream: Everyone said, “pack nipple cream” so I did.

*Travel size shampoo + conditioner: Packed my fav tresemme mini shampoo and conditioners to feel like myself. So while I didn’t use any of my makeup during my stay, it was very comforting to be able to wash my hair and take a hot shower. It made me feel so good to get clean and have a tiny bit of self care in the hospital.

*Bodywash: Hospitals are so dry so packing my own Dove body was is key.

Dry shampoo: In case I am not allowed to shower, or I just don’t feel like, dry shampoo from drybar will save my day!!

*Facewash: Can’t leave home without a little face wash from Simple (and facewipes from neutrogena below) because who knows what state I head to the hospital in. Washing my face felt SO good in the hospital. A tiny bit of self care goes a long way.

Face wipes

Makeup (concealer, bb cream, primer, mascara, bronzer, eyebrow pencil): My makeup dream team. I know, I know some people are likely rolling their eyes like, “there is no way you will have time or want to put on makeup etc” but you know what, I would rather be prepared and there is something to be said about pulling yourself together with some basics to lift your mood and spirits after Labor. Also if I get the chance to take some photos with our little man, a little concealer is gonna make me feel HUMAN. I only packed my ESSENTIALS: tarte shape tape concealer and bb cream because I slather them on with my hands and fingers in 5 seconds. Also I add 2 drops of Laura mercier radiance primer into my bb cream for a little instant glow. Then my new fav bronzer + eyebrow pencil from Hourglass to give my face a little dimension and my brows life. And mascara to finish it off. Can do this simple look in less than 5 minutes.

*Colace:  So glamorous I know. But I want to be prepared and EVERYONE has recommended I bring this to help ease…. Well you know. Poop. Luckily the hospital started me on colace but I am glad I brought it as a backup.

Towel: Alot of people suggest

Compression socks: With my one foot being so swollen these last few weeks, I am bringing compression socks to the hospital for after labor.

Silk pillowcase: I brought one of my favorite pillow cases from Silk with me. Not my actual pillow (bc I don’t want to forget it there!!) but the pillow case will at least make me feel more at home. Who knows if I will ACTUALLY use it but it’s so small that it’s really easy to pack. Also I made sure to pack a colored pillowcase so I don’t forget it.

*Going home outfit: I packed a couple options to go home in since I didn’t know how I would feel. Some leggings, gym clothes, and a loose dress. I ended up wearing a loose dress from Boob design since I had on those bulky pads and mesh underwear and didn’t want to wear anything tight for comfort.

BABY

*Pottery Barn Diaper Bag: This was actually a gift and I love that it’s monogrammed with our last name initial. Perfect bag to tote babies first outfits! I used my baby blankets, swaddle, and hats for some snapshots of Otis during our hospital stay. Was nice to dress baby up for the first time and make the experience a little more personal than the hospital blankets they provide. I enjoyed dressing Otis up for the first time!! Swoon.

*2 hats

*2 swaddles

*2 outfits

*2 baby blankets for photos

*Cord Blood kit: I actually had Blake pack the cord blood kit since it’s a little too large for the diaper bag. We went with CBR as the company and I have referral codes if any new mamas out there are interested just shoot me an email. Not everyone does cord blood + cell banking but it’s been something I am very interested in so we hope to be able to collect samples at birth.

In photos: Wearing storq dress / baby outfit from 12/12 / pillows from the little market

The post Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

[kurtwarren54]

Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag

I had originally meant to get this post up before I had Otis, but it’s even better now because I can actually share what I packed and what I actually used. The truth is, I overpacked. There was so much stuff I didn’t use. What I will say is I am glad I brought it so that I could feel out what I really needed. I would rather be over prepared than under prepared always. I did separate my hospital bag into 3 different bags: Labor, Post Partum, and Baby. I found this to be SO helpful in staying organized in the hospital and not losing anything because I would only use each bag when needed. Everyone experience and needs are completely different when it comes to what comforts you through labor and after. I had envisioned doing a whole newborn shoot in the hospital and had prepped both my clothes and baby outfits for this but I didn’t end up doing that and instead just took some candid shots with just Blake and I (with the help of our incredible labor nurse).  For your reference, all the items with a * next to them are items I actually used in the hospital with an explanation in italics. Hope this post is helpful for all you soon to be mamas out there!

LABOR

*TDE Nylon Tote Bag: I opted to separate my Labor + Post Partum items so that we don’t have to rush the hospital with 500 bags and overload Blake (since he will be carrying everything). Also this will keep me organized on only taking out the essentials during Labor. I also have some extra room in this bag to stow things from the hospital that we might need to bring home. It was a great plan to separate my labor items and post partum items. We were able to head into the hospital quickly without dragging a million bags especially since I could barely walk in because I was in so much pain. This also made it easy so we didn’t leave anything behind when we switched rooms and didn’t have to worry about packing things up.

*Water bottle: Hydration is so important and it will be great to have my own water bottle with built in straw to ensure I take small sips often. this was so key having at the hospital to be able to easily drink water without spilling all over myself especially in recovery the nurses would just fill it up for me.

*Aquaphor + chapstick: Dry hospital means dry lips so this will be key. I applied this many times in the hospital so happy I packed both chapstick and aquaphor.

*Bluetooth speaker + playlists: I have Blake on speaker duty and we have some playlists/music ready that I love and will help to create a relaxed mood. This was huge for me for delivery. It really set the mood to be listening to music that soothed and relaxed me to distract me from all the medical things being prepared for labor. It helped to really get me in a calm and relaxed zone for before I started pushing and through delivery. Otis came out listening to Otis Redding naturally.

*Phone charger with extra long cord: this was one of the number one things people suggested I bring to the hospital. Extra long charging cords will ensure I can keep my phone charged to get in touch with family and snap some photos of our little guy! I made sure to immediately have Blake plug my phone in when we got to our labor room to make sure my phone was 100% charged for when baby first arrived to snap those precious photos.

*Contacts + contact solution: Through most of labor right before pushing, I was wearing my glasses since I was able to sleep/rest for a bit. But I wanted to be fully alert for pushing. I also was given an oxygen mask in between pushing (since I have asthma) so I wanted to make sure it was all easy and not wearing my glasses. So glad I quick put them in before we started to push. What I didn’t bring was a mirror to put them in but luckily the nurse used her camera in selfie mode to help me put them in. Labor and Delivery nurses are literally angels on earth.

*Glasses + case: Don’t want to forget this since my eyes can easily dry out if I am wearing my contacts.

*Nikon camera + memory card + charger: I am always prepared and making sure we have all the gear to snap those first memories with our new family member. I also made a pinterest board of photo inspiration in case I need to enlist the help of a family member to grab a shot or two for me in the hospital! I am SO happy I brought my nice camera in my labor bag. I made sure to have Blake pull it out and put it on the table and we preset our settings before the big moment to have it ready to grab and snap away.

Laptop + charger: You never know how long you will be in the hospital. If we want to put on movie, or do anything to distract myself, at least I will have the option if we bring it.

Inhaler: This one is important! I have allergy/sports induced asthma so it’s always good to be prepared with my inhaler since labor will be a physical experience.

*Letterboard: I got this one from letterfolk and don’t know if I will use it in an announcement photo but I brought it just in case. I also pre-cut baby’s name out of the letters and put in a ziplock so we don’t have to think about anything if we decide to use it. We didn’t use this till post partum but I am so glad I brought it, pre-written out, so snap a quick photo to share Otis’ arrival. Having it already filled out made it easy to just pull it out and snap a photo without having to worry about setting the board up. This was a time and energy saver.

POST PARTUM

*TDE Overnight Bag: I was excited for this overnight bag to come in. It’s oversized and comes with a large over the shoulder strap so it will be easy for Blake to tow into the hospital.

*Nightgown + pajamas: Since I plan to try breastfeeding, I wanted to make sure to bring some button down pajama options to not only feel a little bit like myself, but to also have easy boob access. So I have both a nightgown button down from Nordstrom and pants set from eberjey. Both I adore because they are soft and cozy and will make me feel more at home. For the most part, i spent my time in my hospital gown. It was such a bloody mess (sorry TMI) in those mesh underwear that I didn’t want any of my clothing to get ruined. What I did use was one of my pajama dresses for when we had guests visit the hospital so I did feel a little more put together. When they left, I changed back into a hospital gown.

Robe: Who really knows if I will feel like wearing clothes… besides the mesh underwear I hear the hospital will give me. HA! But it will be nice to have something warm to wrap around me since I always tend to be cold. This robe is from Ingrid & Isabel and is thicker than a silk robe so it will really keep me warm.

Nursing tank: Brought this Ingrid & Isabel tank along to either wear as a pajama top or wear home and to be able to nurse easily.

Nursing bra + nipple pads: I had a really hard time finding nursing bras that I loved, but this one from BOOB is so comfy and I have big hopes for it.

Sleep mask: A friend of mine (thank you Erin!) recently shared that I should slip a sleep mask into my hospital bag. I typically don’t have trouble sleeping with lights around me but she reminded me that in the hospital environment, everything is always on and blinking since everyone is constantly checking in on mom and baby. So I packed one just in case and so did Blake!

Slippers: This is a luxe item to pack, but honestly, I hate my bare feet touching the ground ESPECIALLY on a cold hospital floor. The UGG slide slippers are perfect to keep my feet happy and will still fit my fat foot if it’s still swollen after pregnancy (which I have heard you often swell more after) so glad to have something that will fit even when I head home.

*Flip Flops: These have 2 jobs. Both for in the shower (ew gross hospital floors!!) I can also wear them home since my feet will likely be swollen from delivery. These havianas are a go to fav always. Glad I brought these for when I took a shower in the hospital.

Nipple cream: Everyone said, “pack nipple cream” so I did.

*Travel size shampoo + conditioner: Packed my fav tresemme mini shampoo and conditioners to feel like myself. So while I didn’t use any of my makeup during my stay, it was very comforting to be able to wash my hair and take a hot shower. It made me feel so good to get clean and have a tiny bit of self care in the hospital.

*Bodywash: Hospitals are so dry so packing my own Dove body was is key.

Dry shampoo: In case I am not allowed to shower, or I just don’t feel like, dry shampoo from drybar will save my day!!

*Facewash: Can’t leave home without a little face wash from Simple (and facewipes from neutrogena below) because who knows what state I head to the hospital in. Washing my face felt SO good in the hospital. A tiny bit of self care goes a long way.

Face wipes

Makeup (concealer, bb cream, primer, mascara, bronzer, eyebrow pencil): My makeup dream team. I know, I know some people are likely rolling their eyes like, “there is no way you will have time or want to put on makeup etc” but you know what, I would rather be prepared and there is something to be said about pulling yourself together with some basics to lift your mood and spirits after Labor. Also if I get the chance to take some photos with our little man, a little concealer is gonna make me feel HUMAN. I only packed my ESSENTIALS: tarte shape tape concealer and bb cream because I slather them on with my hands and fingers in 5 seconds. Also I add 2 drops of Laura mercier radiance primer into my bb cream for a little instant glow. Then my new fav bronzer + eyebrow pencil from Hourglass to give my face a little dimension and my brows life. And mascara to finish it off. Can do this simple look in less than 5 minutes.

*Colace:  So glamorous I know. But I want to be prepared and EVERYONE has recommended I bring this to help ease…. Well you know. Poop. Luckily the hospital started me on colace but I am glad I brought it as a backup.

Towel: Alot of people suggest

Compression socks: With my one foot being so swollen these last few weeks, I am bringing compression socks to the hospital for after labor.

Silk pillowcase: I brought one of my favorite pillow cases from Silk with me. Not my actual pillow (bc I don’t want to forget it there!!) but the pillow case will at least make me feel more at home. Who knows if I will ACTUALLY use it but it’s so small that it’s really easy to pack. Also I made sure to pack a colored pillowcase so I don’t forget it.

*Going home outfit: I packed a couple options to go home in since I didn’t know how I would feel. Some leggings, gym clothes, and a loose dress. I ended up wearing a loose dress from Boob design since I had on those bulky pads and mesh underwear and didn’t want to wear anything tight for comfort.

BABY

*Pottery Barn Diaper Bag: This was actually a gift and I love that it’s monogrammed with our last name initial. Perfect bag to tote babies first outfits! I used my baby blankets, swaddle, and hats for some snapshots of Otis during our hospital stay. Was nice to dress baby up for the first time and make the experience a little more personal than the hospital blankets they provide. I enjoyed dressing Otis up for the first time!! Swoon.

*2 hats

*2 swaddles

*2 outfits

*2 baby blankets for photos

*Cord Blood kit: I actually had Blake pack the cord blood kit since it’s a little too large for the diaper bag. We went with CBR as the company and I have referral codes if any new mamas out there are interested just shoot me an email. Not everyone does cord blood + cell banking but it’s been something I am very interested in so we hope to be able to collect samples at birth.

In photos: Wearing storq dress / baby outfit from 12/12 / pillows from the little market

The post Pregnancy / Packing my Hospital Bag appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

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