#or that ill fuck up the ports randomly and alls gone again

[frostbite-the-bat]

do you ever randomly get like. paranoid ? about your computer

yea

[gray-anxiety]

Fights and Frights| Shay x Reader

       The sun beamed on the awakening city of New York. Birds chirped and murmurs rang in the shopping district below; New York's harbor bustled with life as men-o'-War arrive and depart full of cargo. Ship bells rang and clattered with the sounds of sails and royals drawing in and out. The smell of salt mixed with pine, smoke, and gunpowder in the humid warm air. Gulls cackled in a desperate search for their next meal blocked from the influx of ships entering the port for trade. "Stop! Get back here! Stop those brats!" A bellowing voice erupted from below, causing confusion and panic to arise from shoppers and shopkeepers as three children sprinted from the fuming bookkeeper. "Shay! Why did you think taking all these books was a good idea?!" A h/c girl shouted — panting as she struggled to remain at the fast pace the brunette set. "Well, you wanted the books, right? So I got you 'em!" The bold brunette grinned and he huffed with the number of books in his hands. "Not like this you idiot!" "Y/N, Shay, now is not the time to argue when we are going to be screwed if we get caught!" "That's the spirit, Liam!" "Stop them! Stop those three!" The bookkeeper sprinted, now just paces away from the three children. Shay grabbed his older and younger friends to the corner of the alleyway. Shoving Liam up the ladder, Shay panted in desperation and exhaustion to escape from the blistering man. "Shay, just return the damn books! It's okay if I never see them, so long as we are all safe!" Y/n pleaded with Shay to ditch the numerous stolen books Shay had in his arms. Shay spun around and made a face of disgust. "Why would you say that, y/n? These are for you and I'm not giving them up!" Shay's eyes softened and hugged y/n. "Shay, I got the rope, hurry up!" Liam yelled, clearly distraught. Shay wrapped his now free arm from books around Y/N's waist and rugged on the rope. "Liam, cut it now!" Shay yelled, catching sight of the bookkeeper. Liam groans as he chucked his blade to the rope contraption. The contraption squealed and squeaked in protest under the combined weight of the two children. "Run, Y/N!" Shay yelled, looking back for barely a second to see the blistering fat man red hot with anger. Behind the bulk of a man was men wearing red, boots pounding the stone streets with their long muskets taking aim for Shay himself.

"Shite, Liam. The Regulars are approaching!" Shay cursed as he sprinted across the rooftops to find where Liam and Y/N are located. "Shay, in here!" A voice whispered before an arm pulled Shay into a haystack. Shay opened his eyes to see the concerned faces of Y/N and Liam scan his body for any sign of injury. "I'm alright, guys. We need to stay here for a while, though. Regulars are everywhere," Shay grumbled as he peaked out the haystack. "We are never doing this again, Shay," Y/N sighed — exhausted from Shay's shenanigans. "I agree with Y/N, Shay. You should be more careful or else one of these days you'll end up falling off a cliff or somethin'" Liam chuckled — patting Shay on the back.

Time skip — 7 years — Y/N's POV

        Although the numerous adventures Liam, Shay, and I had gone on together, it was obvious it wasn't meant to be when Liam left 3 years ago after he killed a man out of self-defense. Sadly, it didn't end there. Liam's father took the blame and was executed for it. I've tried to look after Shay as much as I could, but he is, after all, Shay Cormac. "Y/N!" A cheerful shout traveled throughout the market. Hearing heavy paces run towards me, I knew it had to be the one and only Shay. I spun around and plastered a grin on my face. "Hey, Shay. You okay?" I asked, seeing Shay red in the face after running for what looks like a long time. "Y/N, you should come to see the ring tonight! I finally got in!" Shay grinned, messing up his hair even more than it was already. I dropped my basket full of my groceries and squealed. Excitement burst throughout my entire body as I jumped and hugged Shay. "Congratulations, Shay! You finally get to fight in an actual ring instead of fighting in the slums!" Shay wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around — chuckling as he saw that I could hardly contain my excitement. "Easy, Lass. We don't want all thirteen colonies hearing ya," Shay teased as he set me down on the ground once again. "Eat it, Leprechaun. At least I'm excited for you. You can actually make money from this legally! I know if Liam could see you now he'd be just as excited as I am," I smiled — reminiscing on the childhood memories of the two reckless boys butting head to head on who could save me the fastest. Shay looked down to the ground and sighed, almost flinching when he heard Liam's name. "Aye, but the past is the past, and this is now. What do you say, Lass? Would ya be willing to cheer me on tonight?" I scoffed, giving Shay a look of 'are you seriously asking me this?'. Sheepishly, Shay shrugged. "It's always good to ask instead of assuming, Y/N,"

-

-

-

Why did I agree to come here again?

      The stench of sweat, blood, and rum mixed with yells and cheers for the winning fighters was in the creation of one of the worst headaches I've ever had. As much as I adore Shay, this is definitely something that I will regret tomorrow. I scanned the damp underground fighting hall to attempt to find any sign of Shay. "I'll kill you for that, Cormac!"

Well, there's my sign. I sprinted off to the location of the yell to find Shay — shirtless, sweaty, and lightly bleeding— going up against one heck of a brute. Anxiety blossomed in the back of my throat to create a lump that was practically suffocating me. Hit after hit, Shay was out for the count. Barely breathing, and an eye swelled shut, Shay could hardly stand, let alone fight.

"Any fighter willing to sub for this lad? If not, he will be sold to be one of our future cabin boys!"

WHAT?

Shay never mentioned the fact that if he lost he'd be sold into being a slave!

Before I even had time to think, words came tumbling out. "I'll fight,"

"Ya sure, Lass?"

"You sure you'll still have a fucking dick after this?"

I crouched down to where Shay lay and stripped of my winter coat, placing it gently over Shay's body. "It'll all be done soon, Love. Hang on, please," "Y/N, don't-" a shiver ran through my body as I knew that they wouldn't let me fight. "Leave the boy alone. He is merely my apprentice and still has quite a long way before being worthy enough to fight warriors such as you," I remark, knowing that these few moments might be the last of my freedom. "Y/N, don't do it, please!" Shay wheezes out, trying to stand on his own two feet to fight. "Don't leave me, Y/N!"

My face remained cold and stone-like, but on the inside, I was sobbing in fear of what might happen to Shay without me being there. "You... trained this boy?" The muscled man asked, pondering on my offer. "Aye, and I regret not beating enough sense into him. Should've made him train for 16 hours instead of 12," I scoffed, acting like I was ashamed of Shay when in all reality, I was more than proud of what he has become. "Take me as a slave, only if you allow my apprentice to leave unscathed and to not be harassed with ill intent,"

I demand, knowing that if I play my cards right, Shay will never have to worry about being attacked randomly because of this. "Very well. Tie the whore up," the man commanded, smirking at hearing the screams of the desperate Shay behind me. I turn around and cup Shay's tear-stained cheek, rubbing circles in with my right thumb. "It's okay, Shay. This isn't the first time I've covered for you after a good brawl," I smile, looking down at my black bear claw necklace. Swiftly, I take it off of me and tie it to Shay's neck. "There. Now you can remember me by that," "Y/N, why?" "Because I love you," men shoved me to the ground with breathtaking force, causing me to wince as the wind was knocked out of me. Tears pricked the sides of my eyes from the pain of leaving Shay and being pinned. As soon as they tied my restraints to dig into my wrists as hard as it could, they dragged me up and over to the boss man himself. "You'll make a grand pet for our Grandmaster, girl,"

"Y/N!"

Training overtime ever since Liam left has always kept me calm, but leaving Shay is making me more on edge than anything. Worry fills every nook and cranny possible in my bones and flesh for Shay— wondering if he is safe and managed to make it out. "Bring the girl here," I hear from the floorboards upstairs. Shite. The upper door squeaked in exhaustion from what I assume is overuse. 'great. I'm in here against my will, even though I volunteered to go in the place of my best friend, and the door squeaks from overuse! Which means I'm not their first victim! Just great!' A hand yanks my head to the ground, pulling my hair out with a solid 'rip' I wince but refuse to whine for fear of worse punishment. "Hurry up, girl. Grandmaster Birch isn't waiting for nothin'," the drunken man growled, obviously not from the colonies. Thoughts flood through my brain on what might happen. Stumbling up the moldy stairs, freaks and groans were heard after each rising step I took, and along with that, my sanity depleted as well. The drunken scruffy looking man kicked the door open with a 'wham!' And yanked my hair harder to drag me to my doom. "Eyes down, Brat," I looked down, noticing every detail of my now interesting sodden trousers covered in blood and dirt. I knew I looked truly awful, with my messy h/t hair frizzy and out of its high ponytail, my once white and pristine undershirt now torn and a brownish red, my tan trousers sodden with blood and dirt, and my now bare feet bleeding and covered in disgusting dirt.

I huffed, Shay definitely owed me a drink after this shite. "Is this her?" A deep and elegant voice asked, as far as I could tell by just looking at his shoes, this man was definitely the boss around here. Must've come from England because no one in the thirteen colonies acts this proper. "Aye, Master Birch, it's her," the man I know call scruffy grunted before he shoved me to the hard wooden floor below.

      "That's enough, Braddock. You may leave now," Birch commanded, annoyance in his tone like it was his best friend. "I take it you don't know why you're here?" Birch asked, taking hold of my chin. "I am Reginald Birch — Templar Grandmaster of Britain," I look up to see a balding man with pale grey eyes. I looked to the left of me to see a young man in his late teens early twenties next to Birch. He had jet black hair and piercing blue eyes that reminded me of the Caribbean Sea. "You will join the Templar cause and work for me as a spy, or else you will be killed immediately," Birch spat, grabbing harder on my chin. "On what condition would I need to hear to ask to stay in The Colonies?" I ask, thinking of finding Shay to make sure he isn't alone in the streets. "You must write either me or Haytham once a month," once a fucking month? It takes at least two to reach Britain! "Sir, that is impossible," the man I assume to be Haytham spoke up as if he read my thoughts exactly. "Nay, Haytham. We have the fastest couriers around. Do you not remember, Boy?" Haytham nodded in understanding and continued to watch my every move like he had the intent to kill. "I accept, Master Birch," I spoke up, knowing it's either spying or dying. "Excellent choice, Devil,"

-

-

       After years of having to spy, fight, and kill, I have finally moved up in ranks to be third in command in The Colonial Rite. Braddock was murdered by Haytham, who is now the grandmaster of The Colonies. It's been four years since I last saw Shay and 8 years since I saw Liam. I wish I could track down those two, but alas, I heard Liam joined The Assassins. I only hope that I won't run into Liam during a mission, or else it will turn deadly. Running across the roofs of many houses I bolt to a haystack to find my target. Her name is supposedly Hope Jenson —leader of the uprising Assassin gangs. "Hope, what'd I miss?" "Only the important meeting you were supposed to observe, Shay," Shay? No, it can't be. "Sorry, but Liam told me to stand guard. He thinks there might be an attack today," it really is him and Liam. They're both Assassins. TEARS pricked my eyes as I saw how much Shay had grown. I missed being there for him for four goddamn years; I caught sight of my bear claw necklace at the base of Shay's neck. He actually wears it? My hearted ached and tears begin to spill. I sprint out of the haystack to find a corner alley to hide in. "Hey! Wait!" Shay called out. Shite.  He can't see me like this. A hand grabbed my wrist and my heart lurched in guilt and in sadness. "Let go, Shay," Shay breathed in as time stopped. "Y/n?" "I'm sorry,"  I threw a smoke bomb to leave Shay without harming him. He really is an Assassin — he finally found purpose.

-

-

-

And his purpose is without me.

-

-

-

4 years later

    "Y/n." Haytham greeted. "Haytham." "We have an ex-Assassin as an ally now. I need you to console Colonel Monro For hIS reports about this ally," An ex-assassin? I heard Templar's are taking over Lisbon after that huge earthquake just like what happened in Haiti. Maybe this new ally is from Lisbon? No, we would join the French Templars or the Spaniards. "Y/N." Oh shite. "Sorry, Kenway. Was just wondering if the newbie is attractive or not," "Y/N!" Laughing, I walked out away to find a scowling Charles Lee. "Hello, Boy Toy, how is Haytham's cock today?" "Fuck off, Devil," Bloody shite, I have to go to Albany to find Monro. "Oi, Lee. Where is Master Johnson?" "At the docks. He is leaving at sunrise for Albany," "Perfect," I burst the door open and spirt my heart's content to the docks, just in time to see William's schooner. "William!" I shout. "Y/N! Master Kenway told me you were going to join me for Albany,"  "Aye. Got to get Monro's reports about the newbie," "Ah. About Master Cormac?" Cormac? Oh god. "Is this Master Cormac's name Shay?" "Why yes! Know him?" "Childhood friend," "I see." Shay betrayed Liam? What happened to Shay? Christ. The River Valley winds kiss my face as the schooner sails towards Albany — the place where I might find Shay.

      "Y/N! Hurry!" I sprint to the brawl Shay started beside Liam. Wounded and battered, Shay lies almost unconscious while other boys kick and spit on Shay. Anger surges through my veins, and soon enough fists fly. I tackle the nearest boy to me and twist his neck — killing him instantly. I walk up behind the rest of the laughing boys and impale my double blades into the back of two boys' necks. The blades' ends meet the air once again through the mouths of the gurgling bodies before the collapse to the ground below. "Leave him alone, or else you will end up like the rest of them," I snarl, mentally laughing at the terrified faces the surviving boys made. "She's a monster!" "Run before The Devil kills us all!"

Tch. Pussies.

I drop my blades and run to Shay, fearing for his life. "Shay! Christ, you need to fucking be careful!" I pant while I lift him up with the assistance of Liam who was also checking Shay everywhere he could. "Shay, you went too far this time. Stop, please," Liam warned, shaken from the bodies littering around the stone alley. 

"Y/N,"

"Y/n,"

"For shite's sake, Y/N! We're here!" I snapped my head towards William and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, William. Just old memories," I sighed as I saw the town of Albany come to life in front of me. I stepped off the schooner and right towards the left of the long dock. There I saw a fight going on between Assassin gang members and... Monro.

Oh for Christ's sake.

I unsheathed my katanas and sprinted towards the gang members, knowing damn well that if I miss my mark Monro might have to suffer being cut to bits. Running up two crates, I jumped off of them to successfully air assassinate two gang members at one time. "Christ, Monro. Learn how to blend in more, will ya?" I groan, turning around.

Oh.

Standing right beside Monro is none other than Shay Patrick Cormac.

Shite.

I grinned, knowing by his reaction that he missed me too.

"I missed you, ya goon,"

Fin

Smh hi people I finally wrote stuff skskksks

This is UNEDITED so if you find any mistakes, you know why

I mean, come on. Do you really think I'd edit 3,060 words? Lol no thank you I'm too lazy.

Anyway, I will be updating regularly now since I've now transferred from my old school and I can write in class uwu

Sorry it ain’t that fluffy but smh I cant write fluff for the love of fUCK

[xtremedespair3d]

My Lukewarm History with Pixelbuster/Nitomatta

Yesterday, independent gaming journalist Pixelbuster, or Nitomatta, has been under controversy for taking advantage of small gaming news site Final Weapon for getting review copies of games and don’t review them all, basically getting the games he’s supposed to review for free. He’s been fired from Final Weapon and put his journalist career to an end.

This post is copied and pasted from a thread I made yesterday, so think of it as a complete and more accessible guide to my rant about Pixelbuster/Nitomatta with a few changes from the thread. This post isn't about what happened to Pixel and owning games for free, since people talked about him, I decided to take an opportunity to rant with my own perspective about why do I dislike the guy.

I never liked Pixel the moment we started talking a little bit more and even brought me to his server in 2018. There are times that he contradicted me on certain things and seeing his tweets really drove me insane a lot in 2019 to the point that I had to mute him. 

I also never understood why did Pixel make me a mod on his server. I mean, I appreciate it but at the same time I need to understand what am I worth to him. But then I kind of abuse the power of being a mod by deleting people's negative comments I don't like. Not to mention I seriously rant and vent A LOT in his server which almost nobody didn't really care about comforting me at all, but at the same time I always thought I might be getting everyone on their nerves. And speaking of his server (which is now deleted lol), that's one of the worst servers I've ever been, the people in there are so bland, talk shit on a couple of things a lot, and they share all kinds of porn I wasn't a huge fan of the Western art style of. To top it all off with sharing NSFW content on his server, he's absolutely okay with having people share furry porn but not loli/shota porn because it would make some people uncomfortable. Like, really? Come on. Sure, you don't really have to like loli/shota porn, but still, learn to have more balls on bearing that shit, especially if whether or not you're those "Fiction = Reality" purists (Which I hate these kinds of people). 

Lastly, at one time, I left his server because I was getting tired of it, then I came back for a little bit to take a quick peek to see what has changed after announcing I was leaving, and then I left again.

Then Pixelbuster DM'd me on Discord saying to please come back to the server, I was getting bored anyways so I decided to return (along to the RPG Site Discord server where we first met and the one server I despise to death). Now I regret returning to his bland ass server. After returning to his server, Pixel told me "Thank you, I promise you we will help you" probably about my problems I constantly talk about. Then I constantly rant and vent on his server a lot and he and his friends continued to do NOTHING to help me. I also felt sorry for talking ill of him and a bit of his server, but afterwards, I took back my apology as I still loathe him and his server.

The only thing I'll admire Pixel for is that some of his viral clips get retweeted by Japanese people, particularly artists and most recently, I saw a tweet of a RE3 mod video where he was retweeted by bkub, the creator of Pop Team Epic.

For a while I’ve always wanted to randomly tweet that Pixelbuster is a clown, he’s a total piece of shit, and with all this scandal, I finally took the opportunity to say it, but not because of what he did with Final Weapon, because I never liked him. I never liked Pixel at all, part of me feels like he deserves the hate he's getting, and I wish to completely disassociate with me for good. Also, he hates Yumi. He likes all Senran Kagura girls except Yumi. Like, seriously? Fuck Pixel.

The most baffling things he's ever said is that he would get better from his mental health issues and negativity. I'm really sorry but I seriously can't help but laugh so hard at it because he seriously can't help himself on the way he is. His behavior and his opinions are the major reasons why do I despise Pixel to death, he's just absolutely destructive on a lot of things media related. Sure, you could say that most of his opinions attacking large corporates like Disney and such are valid, but it's just the way he expresses them and everything are something I seriously couldn't take him seriously for. That's why I muted him on Twitter this year, I couldn't stand a word he said and it drove me insane a lot last year. I know I already said that but I must stress that out.

What are the things that he contradicted me? Well...

On the RPG Site Discord, the time we were watching the Sega panel from Tokyo Game Show and there was a segment that featured the mobile game called Kotodaman, which they were talking about a Kemono Friends collab. I randomly said that I recognized the game from watching VTuber Noja Loli Ojisan Nekomasu, and he said "I don't care." In retrospect, that sounded very forced. (The thing about the Kotodaman and the Kemono Friends collab was around the same time Tatsuki got fired by Kadokawa when Kemono Friends turned out so successful.)

The time he shared a later Captain Marvel trailer and said that he's finally sold on it, I told him most trailer are fine and he told me "No."

The time when the One Punch Man fighter game was announced, I simply said that it probably was to capitalize on season 2 and he said "No one gives a shit about season 2." I mean, sure but you didn't need to tell me that. Hell, you didn't even HAVE to force your opinions saying that you don't care, can't you just simply learn to ignore, you fucking idiot?

Let's not even get started on the time Pixel banned BlindedOtaku (Who I really despise because he's annoying) from his after some internal drama on his server on December 30th 2018. I wouldn't like to get into details because I can't remember what exactly happened nor I care. The last thing I remember about the drama is that I brought BlindedOtaku to the server after being kicked because he told me so and elaborate on his account on what happened. Then Pixel banned him for good and told me "You tried."

What's the point of this post? The point of this thread is just pretty much ranting about my history with Pixel as "friends," even though I've always had a distance with him and to show off that I wholeheartedly don't recommend you talking to him for the faint of heart, especially after this whole drama happened.

I would say that he can be a very difficult person to talk with, but he's not, the last time I had a relatively normal conversation with him is that if he gets the laggy cutscenes in the PC port of Persona 4 Golden, which he told me it only affects laptop users (Well shit).

Now, here comes the ultimate question: Should Pixelbuster be cancelled?

Well, I'm an edgy person so I would say yes, but at the same time, I don't condone cancel culture and he should own up to his mistakes, so absolutely not. I don't like Pixel for what he is regardless of the drama, I probably won't redeem myself on liking him more, but for the faint of heart, I don't want him to be cancelled. I heard that he's admitted his mistakes so it's something. Even if he were to own up to his mistakes and apologize, he’s now been fired from Final Weapon, if shit goes a little too far outside of Final Weapon, then his career as a journalist has indeed been ruined. To reiterate, no, Pixelbuster should not be cancelled. (At this point he’s probably indeed cancelled.)

I was feeling tempted to talk about Pixelbuster since he's still present on Discord, I would probably talk to him about the situation, but because I need to keep my word about why do I dislike him, I decided to block him on Discord once and for all. I doubt I'd want to talk to him ever again. I was genuinely feeling soft on wanting to comfort the guy and I feel absolutely disgusted and I want to drill my head to suck all the blood from my brain for thinking that.

My biggest gripe with Pixel is that once I become a successful creator, when I make some despicable stories or say some dumb shit, he'd put me on the vein of MatPat and Disney, that’s how despicable he is. I’m sorry if I may sound egotistical and biased because I hate people’s opinions and stuff, but he’s one of the many things that turned me into the kind of person I am right now, an egotistical dude who has a deep hatred for literally anyone’s opinions, criticims, everything else, even small complaints, because I’m easy to get my thoughts dictated and I always disagree and refuse to believe anyone by (occasionally) insult and fight back directly at them.

A few hours ago, he had returned to Twitter only to make a TwitLonger about his statement, I probably wouldn’t care to read the whole thing, but the most important parts is that he’s gone off the face of the internet for good and he’s getting a proper job now. I wish I could have tell him some final words for him, but I can’t even bother.

And there you go, that’s the end of my experience with Pixelbuster. Totally unrelated to the review copy drama, but I wanted to tell everyone how unlikeable he’s always been. And with that said, I’m finally free! I’m finally free from being associated with this scumbag (even though we probably hadn’t interacted much but I’ve always seen his activities that seriously drove me insane), he, his Discord server and the people on it, everything can go to hell with him.

P.S. What’s with the Nitocris thumbnail? Well, Nitocris was his waifu, he’s always had Nitocris images as his profile pictures, but recently he had a new icon of a commission of his OC. That makes me think his love for Nitocris has ceased.

Check out my Carrd.

[unextordinary-blog]

My year in one post: 2017

okay so its starting to get closer to the end of the year lets have a recap of 2017.

january: I don't have a job anymore, I am not going to school at the moment, I am moving for the hundredth time, and I have to give up my dog and cat, then someone loses my cat. ( so its safe to say january was definitely not my month) but bright side this is the month where i start to talk to my "future" husband. well sort of (this will be explained in a later month).

february: so it's a new month. I am jobless with no prospect of going back to school until the next semester. on top of that our landlords are total pieces of literal dog shit (like im not kidding they have about 5000 dogs in their house and it smells like dog shit) anyways life is starting to look up JUST THE TINIEST BIT because ya girl got a date. i am dating. newly dating. and on top of that i still don't know that my future husband is single yet. (he doesn't like the idea of me dating)

march: we have officially moved into my moms boyfriends house and i already hate it. Its awful i have no closet, no space, no job, no pets, and no will to live (except for my future husband). Its safe to say my life lowkey sucks because not only do i have a curfew now? I have to pretend to not hate my life and i actually have to get out of the bedroom im staying in (yea thats right im not allowed to call his guest bedroom "my room") my moms boyfriend is a total dickwad. he gets what he deserves in later months tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( WAIT A MINUTE I just got some info that karma was doing her job all along and i completely forgot part of living with my momster and her dickwad was that I had to do all the chores around the house and dickwad left $200 in his pocket when i was doing laundry and i found it. in my defense i tried to tell them about the money but then they got on my ass for talking to them while they were talking or something so i shut up and spent some of the money on a tattoo. it was the best revenge ever. I had been planning on getting one for months and dickwad and momster HATE tattoos and he technically paid for mine and it was great)

April: HOMAGAWD my life is looking up. I got a job, my "future" husband is visiting and the guy I'm kinda sorta "dating" is a good kisser but i swear to y'all if i hadn't already been on like 4 dates with this guy i would have thought he was catfishing me (he ends up ghosting me anyways so whatevesss). My momster and her dickwad of a boyfriend don't like my new job because it doesn't pay a whole lot? ( oh i forgot to mention they want me to pay rent for the "bedrooom" I'm sleeping in; y'all this room is literally a bed, a dresser drawer, and MY TV) ALSO did i mention this guy is total pack rat (THE BEDROOM IM IN HAS ALLLL OF HIS JUNK IN IT) and there's no central heating and I'm sick. I have bronchitis and we barely found out. meanwhile my supposed "mother" thought I was just being annoying with my coughing and her stupid boyfriend literally had the AUDACITY to tell me if I don't get rid of my cough by the end of the week then he was going to "do something about it". (LIKE IM SORRY I HAVE BRONCHITIS IF I COULD WAVE MY MAGIC WAND THAT I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED OUT OF MY ARSE AND MAKE MYSELF BETTER I WOULD SORRY MY ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENCING YOU). this man is weird he has like every book written by trump and is a civil war reenactor and has can goods from before I was even born because he doesn't believe in expiration dates. so I didn't want to find out what he meant by that so I booked the quickest doctors appointment I could get. I had been sick for 3 months by this point. also I paid over half the rent at my old place but I was always making like $1000 a month sooooo I could afford it. anyways my "future" husband and I have an amazing 3 days when he visits it was like no time had passed and it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I couldn't live without him anymore.

May: ITS OFFICIAL BITCHES my "future" husband is now my boyfriend, it literally took him an hour for me to say he was my boyfriend. twas a struggle. but pretty much since the day he left we hadn't gone a single day without talking via text or calling each other. we thought about waiting until he came back to texas to date, but that would be two years and we weren't having that because we would have ended up waiting for each other instead of dating long distance which is kinda a waste of time. anyways I am no longer sick. at least I don't think and karma is just DOING ITS WORK on my mom and her dickwad boyfriend. My mom was being treated like she deserved by her new job and dickwad had lost his chief position because hes an alcoholic asshole with little man syndrome now he is paying over $10,000 for a DWI lawyer. meanwhile i was thriving I was getting more work I was looking into ways to pay off my school my life still sucked and the only reason im alive is because of my "future" husband.

June: did i ever mention that june is my favorite month of this year. love is in the air bitches. june is the month for marriages and engagements. SPEAKING OF ENGAGEMENTS yea that's right he proposed AND ON TOP OF THAT he surprised me with a visit and i nearly had a heart attack and it was a great few days. then my momster ruined it by being her and by hating me as per usual we weren't asking for permission at this point to get married we were just going to get married whether she agreed or not. and i was moving out and my "future" husband and i had a 101 plans (also i dont like the word fiance its dirty and gross) our 101 plans obviously fell through you can plan all day long and life is just like "LOL gurl you thought" but it all turned out fine in and in our favor in the end. we are very thankful for the people who stuck by our side when things were getting tough and sooo grateful for all their help we wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

JULY: ITS OUR WEDDDDINNNGGG MONNNTTTTHHHHHHH!!!!!! I had never thought "hey you're going to be my husband one day" when I saw my husband for the first time in the 2nd grade. he apparently did, he thought i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and was happy i had moved to his town. that innocent love obviously turned into something more as we got older and he always knew that something special would happen with us there had to be a reason God had kept us close all those years. we were married july 10th in a court house with our high school friends my momster and her dickwad boyfriend and my new family that consisted of my husbands parents and siblings while my maid of honor watch via facetime (she had work and the ceremony lasted like 20 mins) leading up to our wedding he "proposed" properly on the couch while we were watching a movie and his best friend was so upset that he was not included in the proposal. we promised to include him on our 5 year anniversary at our vow renewal. we were married on the 10th we had our honeymoon that night in galveston. on the 11th we went to our best mans house, watched hoarders all morning, played ping pong, went to go see a movie with our old clique from high school, slept on a too small air mattress with a too small blanket in freezing cold room and woke up early. he dropped me off at my momsters and we said our teary eyed goodbyes and said we'd see each other again in december and I watched him drive away to the air port. I turned 20 the next week and I had 1 good day then on the 18th my mom decided to yell at me and fight me about money (remember how i said i was trying to pay off my college stuff well my mom knew that. it was no secret. well i found a way and i had gotten the money the week i got married and i paid it off and put the rest in savings and refused to touch it) well my mom yelled at me until she was blue in the face because since dickwad fucked up his finances with his DWI they were now strapped for cash and wanted me to pay for everything and I refused. just because we said I'd move in december doesn't mean plans are set in stone and if I would have paid them in advance I would have never seen that money again. the risks were to high for me to pay that much in one sitting. so we argued on the 18th she didn't talk to me for two days then on the 21st she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pay or get out. meanwhile my husband and I were thinking ahead and I was already packing and by the 22nd all i had in the bedroom i slept in was a duffel bag of clothes and hamper full of my bedding I told her i was moving out on the 23rd on a sunday and by the time they got home from church me and everything i had would be gone from that house. remember my husbands best man and best friend and the small air mattress and cold bedroom?

August: they both had a house together and that was the house i stayed in until the second week or two of august i spent almost a week with my dad and his family so i could say my goodbyes. i came back to the guys house for 2 days finished packing said my goodbyes to all my friends and then my dad was there with a jeep for all my stuff and we would start our long trip to VA. the first day we drove from TX to atlanta then the next day atlanta to VA.

I was finally home. there he was my knight in blue digital camo. we'd only been married a month and already our plans were askew. my dad stayed for 2 extra days and helped us get settled into our new apartment then left.

september: we are 2 months into our marriage and our first month living together. these next two months will be the hardest months in our marriage. we're getting used to each other getting to know our homelife quirks it is a difficult transition for both of us I am used to an abusive passive aggressive household where i lock myself in my room and he is used to empty barracks and going out everyday just so he doesn't have to be in the barracks all day. it was hard but we wouldn't want to bicker over mundane things with anyone else.

October: its spoopy time and my husbands birthday is this month we have a tv and new bed for our master bedroom we have a cat but Im pretty sure we got him in september. we're not really fighting as much at least not about stupid things we know what pushes our buttons and we're communicating better. I have to turn down my first job because its too far of a drive. ( we immediately regret it) the hubs 21st birthday rolls around we have the worst mexican food ever and he has the strongest margarita in the world it was really a great night. Halloween we sit on the couch watching movies and just stay in all day.

November: my husbands family have informed us that his little brother will be graduating from boot camp this month and will be going to school on a base in VA and that they were coming for thanksgiving. so we get the house in order for our new guests. we buy everything from a thanksgiving ham to new towels when they arrive his parents are sick with the flu and my husband still has work the next day on thanksgiving. his mom and i spend the entire next day cooking and getting everything ready. when my husband gets home we have dinner and watch a movie or two. the next day is my husbands day off and we all had planned on eating out so we had lunch then went to the beach for his mom and then my husbands base to give a tour for his mom (insert eyeroll here the woman takes pictures of quite literally everything its almost annoying)and then finally we go back home so we can get his little brothers stuff and we can drop him off at his new base. (which is a whole lot more difficult then it should have been.) they end up giving him a weekend pass but by then we're all dead tired and want to go home but no, we go bowling on base until its time to take his little brother back to the barracks. then the next day is even more annoying my husband picks up his little brother and some breakfast and we trudge to a museum of an old ship for about 2 or 3 hours. keep in mind my husbands parents are still sick with the flu and everyone is tired except his little brother and my husband has work at 3am the next day. on top of that his parents need to get on a plane this same day and my husband and i need to drop off his little brother back on base. needless to say it was another long day and we finally had our house back my poor husband had work at 3am and around 9am i hear him come home apparently since he didn't leave early on thanksgiving he got to leave work early that day which meant we got the entire sunday to ourselves. it was a long weekend.

December: its only the 13th and we have been married for 5 months now and it will almost be a year since we started dating. (how time flies) his best man is supposed to visit in january and we are both so excited.

so much little stuff has happened this year that would make this post even longer. we got a motorcycle, my husband is trying to pick out a car for me i thought about doing online college, we both haven't really thought about what we want for christmas and our cat has fleas so its been a very eventful year.