#or toothpaste
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When your entire check goes to bills and catching up on things you'd been putting off for financial reasons.
#we have no food for tomorrow and we still havent been able to pick up my roommates medication#or toothpaste#i hate this#this is progress#but the progress is slow and still leaves us without basic necessities#2 weeks till my next check we are screwed again on food and medication esp
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Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)
I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.
Edit: Hey you don't need to keep copying out the tags, I wrote all the Minty Hellfire lyrics here. And then someone recorded them here.
Also, I think it might technically be a sensitivity rather than an allergy, but whatever it is, toothpaste is not supposed to hurt! If it's burning then that's bad and you should try to find a new one if possible!
#LIKE FIIIIRE! HELLFIIIIIRE! THIS FIRE ON MY TONGUE!#I therefooooore requiiiire a new paste tooooo cleeaaan gums#It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! it is the Colgate brand and Crest who've set this flame!#it's not my fault‚ if in their plans‚ they made the toothpaste so much stronger than a maaaaaaannnnnn#protect me‚ oh grocers! don't let the menthol touch my lips‚ don't let its fire sear my mouth and gums!#PROVIDE ME WITH FLUORIDE‚ but not mixed with the fires of Hell‚ and I'll keep all my teeth for years to cooooommeeee#HELLFIRE#MINT FIRE#IS ALL THAT I CAN FIND!#I may be! requiired! to order paaaaste oooonline!
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Tom's of Maine toothpaste was manufactured with water containing bacteria, while a "black mold-like substance" was found in a factory where the product was made, according to a warning letter from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
Goddamn not even toothpaste is safe
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ita so funny and lovely how hard Some People railed against the gay men's flag, called it lesbophobic, mocked anyone who used it, entirely because it was made by a gay trans man and people hate anything that trans men do. and now it's being sold physically at pride festivals. my lgbt center has it hanging up. we give out stickers of it. womp womp losers
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Second or Third Contact
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
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they're about to be really normal about things
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#stump art#comic#gf second or third contact#hi everyone here's my fucking comic#jesus christ i took my sweet ass time on this#started this in NOVEMBER#i blame vegas . i blame all of my problems of 2024 on vegas#elvis you rat bastard#anyways here's my comic about how i don't think the guy who essentially finger fucks a sleeping gremloblin would be shy about touching bill#once again . he downed a helicopter#enjoy my toothpaste ass intro to calc book cover mindscape for this one folks#it makes me . laugh
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ToToDental - Only the Best Dental Care for your Pokémon Companions!
*Don't forget to schedule your Pokémon's annual check-up!*
#pokemon#pokémon#gengar#totodile#mawile#snorunt#meowth#galarian meowth#scraggy#poochyena#pokemon irl#ive had these at 90% completion for over a year idk why i refused to finish it#and yes Mawile is my favourite pokemon thanks for asking#i just love mundane in-universe things like this!! the care would vary so wildly between pokemon#they probably shouldnt have totodile as a mascot but its too late now#also pls appreciate the bruxish toothpaste ad#my art#pkmn
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saw this on reddit prepasted toothpaste exists so now one person said the brushed their teeth in bed on days the couldn't get up
tell a friend
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Zero out of zero doctors recommend these frog earrings. That's 100% of the doctors we asked.
#tw ears#tw frogs#tw ads#the toothpaste industry is screeching with jealousy over our perfect medical professional feedback rating
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Part of something, once (but in a practical sense, all that matters is whether theseus still recognizes the ship)
#doodles#great god grove#comic#gettin real annoying with these titles#thats not an apology thats whatever the opposite of one is#anyway. so like. have we talked about thE FUCKING TAIL BEING TAPED ON??????#IVE BEEN GOING LOWGRADE CRAZY OVER IT FOR WEEKS NOW#HE NEEDS TO BE WITH PEOPLE SO SO MUCH BUT HE THINKS HES SO DAMN UNIQUE AND MAYBE THAT! MADE HIM! LOOK LIKE THAT!#incredible toothpaste boy!! he can bend in whatever shape u need!!! bc theres no longer anything of substance in there!!!!#Only What's Useful :)#mooney if youre reading this im blaming you#ggg spoilers
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Toothpaste V
Read Toothpaste here | ~2.7k words
From me: There hasn't been a LOT of chat about this lately, but at the time, a LOT of you were asking for them to do it. Here it is 🤭
Warnings: a SEXTRA, smut without plot, oral (both) ((obviously))
Summary: “Is it true you can tell when someone’s given a blowjob when you’re examining their mouth?” She asked.
“Kitten,” he snorted shaking his head. “Not now.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t want anyone else looking in my mouth but you anymore so it doesn’t really bother me if that’s the case, but I feel like we should be warning the people more about this.”
Harry gently deposited her on his bed. Her dress fell dangerously high up on her thighs, barely covering where he wanted to see her most. He tugged the tie off and unbuttoned his shirt quickly. She bit her lip as she watched him undress. He was unbelievably hot. He undid his belt, and she gulped.
“Are y’nervous, kitten?” He asked.
She shook her head. “No, excited. Just...” she sighed. “You’re very sexy, it’s... a little hard to focus,” she admitted.
He chuckled. “Back at you, beautiful,” he assured her. He still had boxers on. They were black so they kept the outline of what had to be a massive dick based on the way it felt against her core. He knelt on the bed down near her feet and started to move toward her. His body created a warmth against her legs as he shifted further up. “Do y’want t’take your dress off? Or d’you want me t’do it? Or do y’want t’leave it on?” He wondered, touching the hem at her thigh. Her heart fluttered with the consent he was asking for. It made her dizzy.
“Y-you can take it off,” she stammered.
He chuckled. “You sure? You’re usually a little more confident, my love,” he practically cooed. “Where’s my flirty patient wanting t’open wide for me?” He winked but brought the hem of her dress up and over her hips, showing off the light pink underwear. They were smooth cotton, covering everything with lace trim. They were pretty. Just like her. “Y’want me to?” He wanted complete affirmation. She nodded holding his gaze as he lifted the pretty outfit over her head.
Harry was stunning, it looked like his abs had abs. His skin was tanned, inked, pretty and nearly golden. Her heart was in her throat. “You’re beautiful, kitten,” he murmured. His tone filled with a dream-like trance as he looked her over, his eyes drinking her over. “So, so pretty. Thought so since the day I met you.”
“Oh,” she swallowed unable to fully grasp that compliment. Her cheeks warmed at his assessment. “Take your boxers off, please,” she asked politely instead.
“Hmm?” He hummed with a smile twitching on his lips. “That’s m’confident girl,” he chuckled and slid the black fabric down his legs. She was right. His dick was big. It was thick and nearly pretty. “Y’okay?”
“Come here,” she ordered grabbing his hip. She practically was drooling more than when he had his fingers in her mouth trying to feel around for abnormalities. He shifted closer, his knees on either side of her hips, and the head of his cock almost touching her lips. He could feel her breath on it. She peered up at him almost innocently making him want to groan. Harry was so good about asking for consent, she wanted to reciprocate. “Can I—”
“Dear God,” he whispered. “Yes.”
She brought her lips around the head and wrapped her hand around the base of his dick still leaving inches of space between her mouth and hand. Harry made an embarrassing noise in the back of his throat. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had his cock in their mouth. The dental practice took up so much of his time. He hadn’t even thought of someone sucking his dick in months. Not until he met the pretty girl doing just that right then.
She lapped at him sucking and drooling way too much. Drooling was natural, but this felt excessive, almost like she was panting to keep at the length of him. She bobbed up and down, stopping as her mouth met her hand lightly rubbing what she couldn’t fit between her lips. “Goddammit,” he moaned, threading his fingers loosely in her hair and cupping the side of her head. He didn’t press himself any further and she moaned softly with the feel of his fingers on her scalp. “Fuck,” he groaned tilting his head back. He had never inspected his ceiling before this moment, but it was short lived because the feel of her warm mouth made his eyes fall shut.
Harry’s dick in her mouth felt so good she was sure it would cure all her cavities which made exactly zero sense, but she was obsessed so instantly with his cock it was embarrassing. She wanted to suck it until her jaw hurt. Surely, he had something that could fix a jaw ache so she could continue. She pushed herself further, pressing him toward the back of her throat.
She pulled away slowly and then back down two more times before she pulled away for a moment. She took a deep breath as she paused. “Is it true you can tell when someone’s given a blowjob when you’re examining their mouth?” She asked.
“Kitten,” he snorted shaking his head. “Not now.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t want anyone else looking in my mouth but you anymore so it doesn’t really bother me if that’s the case, but I feel like we should be warning the people more about this.”
He chuckled despite the pleasure she was bringing him. It was sinful, euphoric. It felt so good. It was almost embarrassing. “Open,” he ordered gripping himself and tapping the head of his dick on her outstretched tongue. She smiled almost proudly waiting for him to do more, perhaps. Harry moaned again at the sight of her. “You’re gonna make me come all over your pretty mouth,” he gripped her bottom jaw.
“That’s kind of my goal,” she shrugged.
Harry took a deep breath trying not to come at the sexiest thought in front of the sexiest girl. “You’re something else, beautiful,” he whispered running his finger along her jaw while she licked the length of him. He moaned again. “Can’t wait t’return the favor...”
She smiled, delight in her eyes as she sucked him down her throat again making him gasp and grab the back of her head. He didn’t want to push her too hard, but she grabbed at his thighs and pulled him toward him with pressure that indicated she wanted him to thrust himself into her mouth. “Oh Jesus Christ,” he hissed and very carefully with more control than even he could give himself credit for, he pumped himself into her mouth.
She moaned again at the feel of him all over her mouth. Her spit was dripping from the corners of her lips, it was getting all over Harry’s thighs, her chin, and Harry was beyond himself; how could she possibly be real? “Fuck, baby,” he moaned. She sighed her eyelashes fluttering. Harry noted her hand was between her thighs and he groaned, pulling away at the same time. “No,” he said hurriedly before he could finish. “That’s my job,” he said possessively and grabbed her hand and brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them before sucking her fingertips into his mouth.
“What’s your job?” She whispered breathlessly.
He smiled around her fingers and his gaze felt a thousand degrees too hot. Releasing her hand, he gently coaxed and turned her over until she was on her front. He pulled her hips up, her body arched into what could only be described as a half downward dog position from her knees. He moved her underwear aside with his fingers and before she could realize intent, his warm breath was on the most sensitive part of her body and his tongue licked a glorious stripe along the length of her slit. She gasped; her fingers dug into the pillow. She moaned as his lips sucked at her core, his tongue flat and warm and his breath was cool as he pulled back between each delicious lick making her mind forget all coherent thought.
Usually when her previous boyfriends went down on her she had a hard time focusing on the enjoyment of all it was supposed to be because she worried about her smell and taste. Harry made all that worry disappear. She couldn’t think about anything but how good it felt. How much she wanted his mouth on her pussy and that if the whole dentistry thing didn’t work out, she would be willing to convince him to do this for a career except she wouldn’t allow anyone to be at the receiving end of his tongue except herself.
“Oh my God,” she moaned into the pillow.
“So good, kitten,” he whispered against her core. “Knew y’would taste like heaven.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that a dentist was good with his mouth but maybe it was the duality of his hotness and his sweetness that made it feel extra incredible. Harry practically blushed when she flirted with him and yet his mouth was doing downright sinful things to her. It didn’t seem like her sexy boss (or was it her dentist? Or her boyfriend? God she really needed to define a concrete label for him), who was often very shy about her flirting was going to be eating her pussy like it was his job from behind. It was the stuff of fantasies.
“Harry,” she whined.
He groaned against her. The vibration on her clit made every feeling in her entire body amplify by three million. “Say m’name again, baby,” he encouraged.
“Harry,” she practically whimpered. “Feels... so good,” she managed. She barely had any wine at dinner, yet she felt drunk on him. His fingers were gripping her thighs, nearly massaging her in time with the strokes of his tongue. She thought she drooled a lot while she sucked him off, but that was hardly anything in comparison to how drenched she felt from her own arousal and his mouth.
“S’good, kitten. So good,” he encouraged. She didn’t know how he was positioned behind her, but his hand was suddenly between her legs, and she then she couldn’t care about the physics or logistics of his arm bending the wrong way because he was making her mind numb. He rubbed gentle, perfect circles on her clit that matched the tempo of his licks and the pressure of his tongue on her aching body so well that she thought she was going to explode.
“Harry,” she choked out again.
“Good girl, baby, so good,” he sounded ridiculous. Far away and too close. The pleasure that wound in her stomach snapped and she pressed herself toward him harder as her orgasm shook through her, she smacked her hand against the pillow and gasped loudly.
“Fuck,” she hissed never wanting the pleasure to stop. Harry pulled her toward him as he sucked her hard practically gulping as he licked her through one of the best orgasms she’d ever had in her life. Her body shook and shivered as the waves of dopamine coursed through her. Harry wanted to extend the feeling of pleasure for her for as long as possible, tonguing at her warm center admiring the way it fluttered around his tongue. When her hips dipped lower Harry removed his tongue from her pussy and he rubbed his thumbs softly on the back of her thighs. He pressed practically chaste kisses against her slit once she was licked her clean of all her arousal and his saliva.
She slumped forward and Harry chuckled from behind her kissing up the length of her spine. “Y’okay, my love?” He murmured.
“You...” she sighed. “You’re unreal.”
He smiled, turning her again until she was on her back once more. He kissed her forehead, running his thumb along her lip. “You taste so good,” he said simply. She didn’t know she needed reassurance for that fact, but it made the pleasure she experienced moments ago even better. Confident that she could do it again if Harry was willing. Harry wrapped her legs around his hips. “Are y’okay?” He asked.
“I think I’m drunk.”
“Y’hardly drank anything,” he looked smug as he smiled at her. That dimple, his teeth, his eyes all sparkled. If he were cartooned his grin would have been accompanied with a ding and literal sparkle on his cheek.
“Mmm,” she hummed.
“Do you want to stop?” He asked.
“Absolutely not,” she shook her head quickly. He chuckled and grabbed a condom from his night stand and rolled it on quickly. She continued. “I’m exhausted but you’re going to come tonight if it’s the last thing I do. Especially after the best orgasm of my life.”
“S’tragic if that’s the best orgasm y’ever had, pretty girl,” he chuckled and brushed the tip of his dick along the length of her slit the same way his tongue did the very same motion. “So pretty, baby,” he admired. He paused; his expression taking on the utmost seriousness as he looked at her directly in the eye. “We can still stop, if you’re tired. M’happy t’jus’ hold you for the rest of the night.”
Her heart hammered at the thoughtfulness while the head of his cock massaged her clit. “No way, I need to know what this feels like,” she assured him.
He smiled. “You’re sure?” He asked again.
“Do you want me to beg you to fuck me, Harry?” She teased with a smile of her own that she hoped would also be accompanied by a sparkle and ding if she were a cartoon as well.
“Fuck,” he groaned and sank into her. She gasped and clawed at the sheets. Harry dropped his head to her neck, holding her hips. No, she didn’t need to beg. But he couldn’t even say it. Her body fit his like a glove and he couldn’t stop himself from pumping into her so hard that the headboard smacked into his wall.
“Oh, fuck yes,” she moaned and wrapped her legs around his hips. Harry moaned in response against her throat, pressing kisses when his brain remembered to, but he was so overcome with the feel of her wrapped around his dick he could barely remember to breathe. Part of him thought he was going to pass out.
“Such a pretty pussy, kitten,” he mumbled. “So good. Feels so good,” he grunted snapping his hips forward. “Wish y’could feel how good...”
“Feels pretty good on my end,” she gasped. He chuckled and shook his head, tucking himself into her neck and wishing he could do this forever.
“Good,” he said simply.
She ran her hands through his lifting his head to kiss him as passionately as she could manage without running out of air. Her fingers pulled at his hair. She tried her very best to meet his hard thrusts with her hips rocking toward him each time he pressed into her, but Harry was in a zone. For a brief moment, she had a fleeting thought that Harry really might break her but then didn’t care. He felt so good inside her she would rather die right then than never experience how deliriously good this felt.
“M’sorry, my love, m’gonna come,” he warned, gasping, his hips hitting an irregular rhythm as he spoke against her mouth. His face dropped and pressed into the crook of her neck while he twitched inside her. His back felt damp along with his scalp as she ran her fingers through his messy hair.
“You were really going to stop all that and just hold me?” She whispered after a moment when his shuddering came to a stop.
He smiled against her skin and peppered a few kisses on her collarbone. “Mm,” he hummed. “Course. Sex with you may be the best I’ve ever had, but m’not your boyfriend solely for orgasms.”
Which took care of the label she needed to give him and the anxiety in her chest in one fell swoop. It took everything in her not to repeat how much she was falling for him like she did at dinner and again downstairs just a little bit ago. He lifted his head up and smiled at her, his eyes hooded. “Y’tongue tied ‘bout the word boyfriend?” She nodded silently. He chuckled. “Well, I’d like t’be your boyfriend, kitten. If s’something y’want.”
She nodded again silently. “I like that idea a lot.”
“Good, now open wide, gotta see if I messed up your palate,” he winked.
She snorted, blushed, and shook her head while he kissed along her collarbone again. “I knew you could tell.”
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#harry#harry styles writing#harry styles fluff#harry styles blurb#harry styles blurbs#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#one direction#one direction writing#dentist!harry#toothpaste
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studies as practice! I am starting to feel slightly less feverish so im working my way up to getting back to working on TPoH, thanks for the help, Inspekta!
#Inspekta#ggg#great god grove#inspekta my friend inspekta#i wanna squeeze him like a toothpaste#mod art
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#little green alien#the pink one#the Lime one#The dark green one#The toothpaste green one#the white one.
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had the pleasure of workin with so many fun pieces for bouton on toyhouse :] all ocs belong to them!
#my art#not my ocs#commission work#art#doodles#toyhouse#toyhouse commissions#illustration#blob#creatures#furry art#man tuxpaint is just the best forever for this stuff#toothpaste brush my saviour
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Toothpaste Miku 🦷❤️
#her hair looks like toothpaste so I wanted to roll with it haha#hatsune miku#Miku#miku fanart#art#artists on tumblr#90s anime#cute#pink#teeth#toothpaste#nurse#anime nurse#anime art#anime fanart#cute art#cute aesthetic#animecore#vocaloid
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While flight rising is going through maintenance, ToothPaste went out and met columbo!
#i will count this as toothpaste yearly art piece#art tag#artists on tumblr#flight rising#fr art#frfanart#obelisk#permababy#columbo
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Man of his word. It only took a couple of lifetimes. I was in love with my son's best friend. I didn't know what to do. Then you asked for that toothpaste. I was damned if I wasn't gonna find something.
#the walking dead#twd: the ones who live#the ones who live#towl spoilers#twdedit#towledit#richonne#richonneedit#michonne grimes#rick grimes#danai gurira#andrew lincoln#mine and only mine#just had the biggest smile on my face making this#HE FINALLY GOT HER THE TOOTHPASTE 😭😭😭#and 'I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND'#ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEE#he was canonically already in love and aware of it by 6.10#this changes everything MUCH TO CONSIDER
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