#or would lead to chasing the targets everywhere XD

[teecupangel]

I've been replaying Nobodies and in the middle of the second game I thought "Hey this guy talks like Desmond!" then I thought it would be pretty funny if Desmond became a murder cleaner lol

Nobodies: Murder Cleaner is available for Android, PC (via Steam) and Apple if you want to try it. It’s a point and click game where you play as a member of a secret government organization and your job is to clean up after other members have killed the target.

So we have two option for this idea.

Option 1: Canon ‘Verse where Desmond becomes a Cleaner instead of a Bartender

In this one, the only thing we have to tweak is what Desmond’s history becomes when he left the Farm. Maybe he saw one of the Cleaners doing their job in Rapid City and the Cleaner didn’t want to kill a kid to cover his tracks so he makes Desmond his accomplice, helping him clean it up, all the while teaching him the ‘craft’. After that, Desmond tags along because the Cleaner says that’s the only way he’ll survive and maybe Desmond’s upbringing mess him up enough that he thinks this is okay. That this kind of life is actually better than the life he had back on the Farm. The Cleaner keeps a close eye on him and notices how ‘unique’ Desmond’s upbringing is. He even thinks Desmond has what it takes to actually be one of the ‘messy ones’ but Desmond preferred to clean. It feels… more distant to his life before.

We get our timeskip and Desmond is one of the best cleaners out there. His identity is ironclad because his Cleaner mentor gave him a new one and their organization made it official since they do have a bit of leeway with the government. In exchange, Desmond will be in their service which he doesn’t mind because the organization pays for everything he needs (other than the equipment and items he might actually need when it was time to clean up because having such equipment with him when he gets to the scene would be security guard bait).

At this point, the organization has an idea that Abstergo is very sus and there’s a shadowy organization that does questionable things against Abstergo most of the time. They don’t know the full story though but Desmond believes that his parents’ cult is actually an ecoterrorist group. He keeps it to himself though since he doesn’t want to be anywhere close to them.

With the backing of the organization and his more honed skills and espionage, Desmond is actually more or less a ghost even to Abstergo. They know Desmond Miles exist but they also know that he disappeared nine years ago. Desmond’s government records are all fake data but authenticated by the government itself. Hell, he even has an SSN and tax records. (Your call if he keeps his Desmond Miles name or he changes to like Desmond Miller or full on fake name like Derek Milton or something XD)

If you still want Desmond to be part of the Animus Project or to kickstart the main plot, Desmond gets caught because the organization has traitors and one of them took him while he was cleaning a scene that turned out to be a trap. However, Desmond knows how to play the game and his childhood training only help him become better at his job.

If Vidic kept the same ‘security’ in AC1 (cameras only, no visible guards), Desmond would find a way to kill Vidic and (maybe) Lucy before the guards even get there. Once he gets access to the computer (thanks, Lucy), tampering with the security feed would be easy because he’s done it before as a Cleaner. He’s also used to using items and devices he sees on the ‘scene’ so yeah…

Before the even finishes Altaïr’s memories, he’d most probably already made his escape after cleaning the scene.

And that’s when…

The Bleeding Effect starts…

Option 2: Full Spy AU where every Assassin is messy and Desmond has to clean after them

Okay, this one plays loose with the lore.

In this one, the Brotherhood is a secret organization that has the capital and the influence that a usual Hollywood super spy organization has.

And Desmond is the poor son of a high ranking member of the organization. He was being trained to be an operative but he didn’t want to be an operative like his father.

So… he became a cleaner instead.

In this one, I think it would be fun if Desmond is just some poor cleaner who has to clean up for the messiest of the operatives because he’s one of the best cleaners.

So the setup could be Desmond appearing on the scene and deducing which of his messy ‘regulars’ did this one and he all have nicknames for each of them.

One of them is super good at his job that Desmond just have to take care of the body most of the time. That one he calls “the light of my life” because it means a quick easy job then Desmond can just chill somewhere and see the sights until he’s called again.

Another one is someone who always has to chase their target and dear god, Desmond wants to strangle this operative so badly because Desmond has to clean up multiple places and that includes CCTVs used by the local government for the roads and such. That one he calls ‘the bane of my existence’.

The funny thing?

Both operative are the same person: Altaïr who seesaw between absolutely the best or having a bad day that can only be summed up as “the universe is conspiring against him to get some cardio today”.

Of course, there’s a lot more operatives that Desmond cleans after.

There’s one that liked to actually steal shit and Desmond just usually make that a burglary gone wrong most of the time.

There’s another operative who may or may not have a dog that he uses to rip apart his target and Desmond always prays the scene is somewhere outside so he can just make it look like a wild animal attack and always hate it whenever it happens in an office building or anywhere indoors to be completely honest.

There’s another one that tries to be sneaky but that only makes Desmond’s life harder because he has to make sure to look everywhere just to be sure that the sneaky operative didn’t miss or fuck up somewhere.

In other words, Desmond has a lot of complaints for his regular operatives XD

[stingslikeabee]

💋 + Neck (after something troperiffic because thats how we roll, remember xD)

send 💋 + a body location for my muse to react to yours kissing them there . accepting

The relationship between the Honey Bee Inn and the Turks predated Melissa’s reign as the owner – they had always visited the place for some legitimate fun during off-clock hours or to chase a lead; the woman had merely fostered that bond and crafted it into something much more solid and reliable. The Turks were allies to the bees, albeit unofficially – their trademark suits provided security to the girls and a source of power to their queen.

But that was not only it – Melissa cared on an individual level for all of them and had grown attached to that particular Shinra division. They had helped her time and time again, and it was only a matter of time until she became a trusted partner for them too – a civilian, of course, but with certain skills that had always been helpful. From impromptu first aid to offering a place to crash and hide or even lure targets, Melissa was always welcoming to their needs.

And that had evolved into a few more… Risky ventures on her part. It had started small, with the inn proprietress acting as bait for a man they had been looking everywhere in the slums but which had been incredibly elusive; but she had enjoyed it immensely. The thrill of actually doing something for others – one less creep out of the streets, right? – while she had front seats to watch the Turks doing what they did best: teaching people who messed with Shinra a pretty good lesson.

It was hypnotic, in a sense – there was blood and violence, and although technically she stood for beauty and diplomacy under the plate, she loved watching it. There was so much honeyed words could get from someone – there were situations where fists did most of the talking and it was just exciting to watch. Melissa admired that sort of raw, undiluted power that all Turks shared, regardless of their specialized skills, knowing she was always protected whenever she was along for some reason.

It was really an experience – and the adrenaline of these spectacles could become an addiction as easily as sex (and she would know it – she had worked tirelessly to ensure others were hooked on everything she could provide). So Melissa would be lying if she said she wasn’t tingling with excitement as she took Reno’s left arm as his ‘date’ for the evening.

They were both undercover – their target an eccentric heiress to a Kalm-based arm industry which had been (supposedly) financing Wutai extremists in Midgar. But the woman was clever – she knew how many likely wanted her dead and she never was anywhere without a very dedicated team of bodyguards. Unless, of course… During the swinger parties she hosted in changing addresses all over Kalm once a month.

Securing an invitation had been complicated – but Shinra’s tentacles were effective in the neighboring country, luckily. Based on the profile available from their target, Reno was the most eligible candidate for the mission – the woman appeared to be attracted to young and more androgynous men if the reports told the right story, and Melissa was there basically for two things: to be the female individual of the couple to grant them access (it was a swinger party, after all) and to ensure the redhead was the selected partner by their hostess (and thus gained access to an unguarded room).

And – well. If Melissa happened to be selected by someone too and needed to accept it in order to avoid suspicion, she had just the right sort of experience necessary for that particular job.

And that was how the two of them found themselves in one of Kalm’s oldest mansions, completely decorated for the occasion. As someone who was in the sex business, it was a bit… Too cliché in her opinion, with dominant black and red set-up for the furniture, flower arrangements and the dress code. Melissa was the one in a beautiful red dress, leaving the black tux to Reno – hers a scandalous model with a generous neckline that went well with the way her hair had been pinned up, exposing neck and shoulders to the hungry male gaze present at the party. She looked every bit the reigning queen by the way she had reclined in one of the couches available, legs crossed to give the public a better view of what the dress concealed underneath.

The only reason she wanted to draw the attention was so people would immediately flow from her – to Reno. And the idea was to make him as desirable as possible (and frankly, his natural charm worked wonders there), and they had good seats just across the room to the throne-like piece where their mark was on that evening.

Reno arrived with two glasses and a smirk on his face – she didn’t need words from him to understand she was not supposed to touch any of the food, but they needed to appear to be delighted by the selection of alcohol available. Feigning a sip, Melissa then saw Reno going around the couch, hearing his steps and the soft rustle of the fabric of his tux more than seeing him move.

“Eyes on the prize,” came his voice, suddenly near her ear – and Melissa jumped a little, genuinely surprised by his actions – but she made herself examine the room and, granted, their target was now looking at them, a sparkle of interest in her eyes. The Turk chuckled then, and the madame swore she could hear him licking his lips before speaking up again, “You know, you look amazing tonight, Mel. Not that you don’t usually look good, but damn. I like you in red.”

“I wonder why,” she replied with an amused smile, one of her hands trailing over the cushions to the armrest, then finding Reno behind it. He was bending just enough to be close to her, and Melissa allowed her wandering digits to touch and tug at his clothes, bringing him a bit lower, closer to her, “Hope your blond princess likes red, too.”

“Tch,” the sound made the inn proprietress smile widely, but her lips soon dissolved into a small ‘o’ shape when Reno kissed her neck without warning. It was slow and very deliberate, the touch soft but with enough intention that was impossible to miss. Melissa’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment and her head tilted to the opposite side, granting Reno unrestricted access.

And he took it – she could feel him smiling against her skin before the kisses trailed to the newly exposed area, moving agonizingly slow up to her hairline and then back again towards her naked shoulder. As his kissing grew bolder, her breathing turned shorter – and Melissa had failed to realize her hand had moved on its own to find his hair, tugging Reno down and pressing him against her to the best they could in that angle.

It was only when he moved away and left her without the warmth of his close proximity that she opened her eyes – the sound of his breathing reamined nearby, but there was no more skin on skin contact. Melissa eyed their target – and she was now openly gesticulating towards them to one of her bodyguards. Oh well – that had been effective.

Way too effective if the way she needed to catch her breath was any indication.

“Jackpot,” the woman whispered in return and heard Reno chuckle once more – he was good, wasn’t he? Had she just… Chosen not to see it all before? “You did it. You’re totally getting in bed with Goldilocks tonight.” Because – of course, the mission. She was there precisely for that sort of thing, right?

“Nah – just a job. I don’t care much for airheaded blond princesses, yanno,” his voice was flat in that comment, almost bored; but before Melissa could say a word about it, a bodyguard moved towards them – looked like they would get it done quick, then. “But now… Getting in bed with a gorgeous, brunette queen of bees? That’s some fantasy material right there, Mel. You think you could help me later?”

Usually, Melissa had a comeback for almost everything – but for Reno when he decided to use his charm like that. As many times before, he had totally disarmed her, removed the confidence and the class that her undercover persona had for a moment – leaving only her genuinely stunned self back. The Turk moved away and the moment their eyes crossed, his blue ones were alight with something she couldn’t describe – the anticipation of a job well done? The excitement of the kill? The delight of robbing her of her senses for a second?

“Don’t forget to meet up as we talked. I want to get home as soon as possible,” he winked for good measure now he was right in front of Melissa – but Reno never got to sit down, one of the bodyguards tapping him lightly over the shoulder to get his attention. Within a second, his cover persona was all smiles and polite surprise on his face, and he allowed himself to be pulled away to the eager heiress across the room.

The madame followed him with her eyes – he was… Incredible. Perhaps she had just consciously made a decision to ignore a side of the Turk that was so crystal clear to everyone one but her, but then – he did it again. Just before he was taken into a hallway and disappeared from her view, he looked at her and mouthed two words followed by a short nod of his head.

‘Your majesty.’

Oh - fuck. The way her body heated up and reacted to that could mean one thing and one thing only, she pondered to herself - Melissa now knew just who she wanted (or needed) right then… A shame he was otherwise occupied with work.