#or youve overcome a weakness . thats so .

[tackypies]

the implication of the orb going "dormant" because gale is at last content.... im gonna be sick

[crowsent]

so i started watching kings avatar pt. 2: spoiler edition electric boogaloo

condensed reaction from all episodes but first things first:

i already waxed poetic about the characters and set design of kings avatar in my first post so ill get to the point here:

lowkey thought that the excellent eras logo was the flag of fucking canada for a hot second there i mean

fucking seriously????????????

but enough about discount canada look at this man

look at him

“im very mad” said with a smile

i fucking love him

..

i fucking hate episode 2 timestamp 7 minutes tho

not posting any pictures but

the spiders

so creepy

with the scuttle scuttle sound

ew

no

i know the game has good sound design but was realistic spider animation/sound really necessary???

..

someone who can gif please please please gif that moment where excellent era announces ye qius retirement please. like. the fancy weapon twirls, the fire, the snow, the leaves. that moment was so fucking beautiful

..

xiao tang is uhhhhh so cool?????? what the fuck???? beating players in a game she doesnt play purely off of hand speed and apm???? and then joining that same game to beat ye xiu someday?????? amazing. 10/10

..

i am gaining more understanding of this man as i watch this silly lil anime what the fuck

..

real talk tho

i want glory to be a real game

the mechanics are interesting, the class systems seem p balanced, and there are plenty of in-game systems to take advantage of

would be nice to actually physically play it tbh

..

“the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment”

..

lowkey tho why is steamed bun out here trying to guess everyones sign, trying to get everyone else to guess his sign, trying to attribute everything to signs... bro you aint in fucking homestuck. i see no fucking grey skin or orange horns on you. chill the fuck out and stop trying to astrologise everything

..

mucheng is precious. id kill for her. her devotion. her dedication.

..

i need the plantago seed duel as a separate video. it is immaculate.

the rolling camera pan, the fast strikes, the colours, the music

so good

..

who is this man

“the brawlers style, to put it nicely, is “free-willed”

honestly, its a complete mess”

what a legend

AND he figured out ye xius true identity just from playing one match w him. can i ask for more? i think not

..

..

thank you to the animators that made the ye xiu v jiexi look so goddamn good. the fury and panic that went into the animation of their fight, frantically clicking the keyboard, moving the mouse around, that fire effect where the floor cracks? godtier

amazing

..

lowkey why does steamed bun irl look like that????

..

“the brain is a useful thing, make sure to bring yours next time”

bruh just fucking murder the man why dont you

..

the man aint really subtle tho

..

“lord of analysis”

bruh

you got fucking exposed

“why dont your footsteps make any sound”

yo why is the character design so good???????

this is unfair

every character so far is unique and has good design

this is unfair

..

can the translators fucking

TRANSLATE

i cant read chinese

and there is no way on gods green earth am i going to call my father for every time the translators dont translate the text on screen bc then he might as well just watch the anime with me

its right fucking there man

translate this shit

..

so mr tactician over here said that the upper limit for unspecialised is lvl 95 but methinks that mr ye xiu is gonna find a way to overcome this

..

does

does GLORY have proximity chat or are these morons ‘shhh’ing each other bc they are THAT dedicated to roleplay

..

shaotian

shaotian shaotian shaotian

i love you

fucking chaotic chatterbox bastard

this motherfucker tripped on his goddamn feet and ye xiu IMMEDIATELY made fun of him

can you believe

i want what they have

i want that friendship motherfucker

amazing

“huang shao’s trash talk is magnificent”

and this fucker got everyone convinced he isnt huang shaotian purely bc of his ability to annoy other people and his dedication to keeping his identity a secret

can i ask for more?

i think not

look at this

i want their fucking friendship man

this motherfucker is fucking talking so goddamn fast

what the fuck

“who is chanting prayers?”

BOI you have no goddamn room to speak with this speech bubble wall youve made

“where did you find this clown?”

AND YE XIU CALLED YOU OUT BOI ye xiu straight said “what gave you the right to call someone else a clown” and he is CORRECT

..

okay i know for a hot second i keeep talking about shaotian but like

ye xiu easily slotted back into my favourites list bc this motherfucker is talking to the customers of the internet cafe WHILE HES PLAYING THE FUCKING GAME like

the big dick energy

yes he goddamn is boys and what the fuck are you gonna do about it? thats right. NOTHING. bc hes just that good at the game

..

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

trap these motherfuckers girl

FUCKING CORNER THEM

CARRY CARRY CARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

..

so

ye xiu really just ambushing the people who wanted to kill him by waiting outside the dungeons and then killing the players and then he even has the audacity to say “hi”

fucking big dick energy king right her folks

..

"as for that ghostblade,

shaotian with the fucking callouts

..

GET YOU A GUY BITCH

GET YOU A MAN WHO CAN BE THIS FUCKING CONSIDERATE

“mu mu”

mucheng carried and now ye xiu fucking protecting her identity

WE STAN

..

“every opponents weakness... i remember all of them”

my understanding of this man...

..

bro why the fuck does vice captain zhang eat so fucking SLOW

..

so vice captain zhang plays an mmo like a fucking game of chess i see

..

bruhhhhhhhhhhhh

the desert dust v one autumn leaf fight

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the skill

the mastery

the animation

the SONG

THE SONG

YALL THE FUCKING SONG THAT PLAYED DURING THE DUEL

..

[forethan21]

18/12/2020

To me love isnt about staying in a relationship or dwelling on a feeling. Love to me is bending but not breaking to compromise. It is the kind where you know when to let go in hopes to trust for the best to come, the kind where you empathise, showing vulnerability and completely surrender. (Remember when Jesus died for us in the cross? Diba he gave his all, his everything just so we can live. That should be a standard in our lives. To choose someone who would do anything to just be with us without questioning our worth. Never settle for someone who gives half of their heart. Its all or nothing.) The kind that is mature. Love is what you do despite of what you feel. The kind that fights for the good of someone else even if they never see the value or sacrifice that you did. (Thats what Jesus did. He never complained when he was on the cross. All the pain and burden he endured bc he loves us. And look at us now not even recognising how amazing he is. We took it this life for granted- some of us are wasting it, choosing people for our own accord and pleasure. Im saying this in general im not hinting it on anyone, but if the shoes fits then..) The kind that demands temporary surrender of security, giving up familiar bad habits and patterns, giving unrewarded works and efforts. The kind that challenges you in so many ways. Love wasnt made to be comfortable. It was made to show change and growth.

Not gonna lie tho i loved you for you and everything youve done. Those memories are dear to me bc i knew you tried no matter how difficult it was to love me in some days. Kaya gusto ko lng magpasalamat dun. Likewise, something i learned recently was that we should never question someone elses love for us regardless if it was inadequate. Bc i realised we should be thankful for the amount of love and care we receive from any person out there. Family, friends, lovers. That itself should be enough. Its not up to us how much love they should give to make us feel satisfied. That wouldn’t be love. The greatest love you could ever receive should come from you and the Lord not from anybody else. So i just wanna tell you that i take back those times i questioned your love. Bc what you gave was already enough.

Im sorry i couldnt wait for you to change. Bc i realised if you knew how to love me the very first time I wouldnt need to tell you anything. I wouldnt feel hurt bc im rest assured that you love me enough to know what to do. It didnt feel mutual to me.

When u came bck with your letter idk it seemed like there was something missing. Committment and plans. Maybe i was hoping that youd take me back but i guess it was the opposite. And maybe that was your answer after all. To tell me that you arent staying. I hope next time you go into a relationship po, you dont assume the worst. You dont jump into conclusions when it gets tough. Bc like anything can change if youre willing to do it. You need to trust the the other side will stay. It was the way your mindset was so fixed on the idea that I will leave. That i was making excuses. Ndi pow. I jst have standards. Oo tao ka lng, you make mistakes but how do i know tht youre not gonna make the same mistake again? Im jst protecting my heart po. I guess i dont wanna experience the same trauma again.

I hope someday na you will learn to see the good in people regardless if they did u wrong pow. (idk lng ha pero I dont think youve moved on sa ex mo pow. I feel like you havent fully forgiven her and accepted what has happened. I know it hurts to know that they betrayed you like that but your worth is not defined by them po. You did your best po and if she did not recognised that then thats her loss. This is partly what keeps u holding bck. Bc u didnt get closure. I hope you reflect on that and find the closure that you need po. Dont tell me you dont need one bc i know deep in your heart that it still hurts. Like bruh the fact na sure na sure ka na sa kanya u were ready to put a ring on her finger. You were hopeful and certain. I think it was meant to happen to test you both in your worst. You had your mistakes. She had hers. Dont you think you should close tht chapter of your life before starting a new one? Or more importantly, dont you think you deserve peace? Ill leave you to think bout tht). I wasnt trying to find something wrong jst to let you go. If i did i wouldnt put myself in a situation where I will lose my friends po.

Ethan i understand you. I understand your fear of giving too much to someone who youre unsure of and thats fine. But you need to accept the consequences of your mistakes. You need to take responsibility of it and what you couldve done to fix it. (Reflection is very important.) Youre not wrong for not knowing that but again you need to reflect in every situation in your life. It doesnt matter if you were right or wrong. Its important to do this bc the next time it will happen to you, you will know what to do. reflecting really helps you to step back and understand yourself, other people and the surroundings. It helps with analysing your own feelings, emotions and as well as understanding the depth of your own thinking. You need to consider other people’s feelings too. Understand their point of view and why they did things that way. 

I told you yesterday that what happened in the past does not define you. You may have done them so wrong but i hope your realise youre not in debt to them. I remember your story about what you did to the girl. Yung trauma mo sa kanya you gotta let it go pow. You dont need to blame yourself every day for something that youve no control of. You did it out of anger. and she threatened you bc she has her personal issues as well. She was showing wat kind of person she was. It does not put a label on u. So far as I know you havent apologised to urself for what had happened and u havent forgiven her for what shes done. Whenever youre mad po dont let your emotions get the best of you. Give space and time. Step back from the situation and reflect. count to ten and reorganise your thoughts and feelings. What happened? what made me feel that way? what can i do to fix this? 

The way i see it lng ha pero it felt like youre pitying yourself. And i want o reassure you that i recognised all you did to keep this relationship. The fights where you communicated with me, the times where you waited for me to explain, the support you give, and how you made me happy each single day. What youve done until this day is enough. I cant emphasise it enough. Ndi ko yun binalewala lahat. I saw your effort. Thats why i fought for u. Bc alam ko ndi ka ganun na tao. Kc alam ko na they have perceived you wrong. I saw the good in you. I saw that youre worthy of change. Everyone does pow. That was the purpose of it all.

But ldr is frickin hard. Being in a relationship is difficult enough let along ldr. Jst thinking about the amount of trust u hav for ur partner dang.. you need to fully invest on trust yo. How to overcome and resolve issues esp if theyre like me haha. Its hard for sure to do tht kc even ako may trust issues but it is possible. But as of now theres many areas in your life that you need to fix alone. Im not saying that im right ha. I could be wrong in so many areas about you that idk of but this is based on knowing you for months. im not saying you have a problem internally cuz we all have problems po What im saying is that there are some things we need to learn from others as well. Its a matter of listening and comprehending what theyre tryna relay and teach u.

Also asking for help isnt a weakness. (Idk but i cud feel you were mad that I reached out to your mother. Bro i know na kaya mo nman maging independent and i know na ayaw mo lng maburden yung parents mo with your problems on top of theirs but its gud that alam din nla ang anak nla is struggling and needs emotional support.) Its realising that we are deserving to feel and be emotionally supported. so dont ever feel bad for reaching out and admitting that youre struggling. after all were only human.

Though i never said anything i lowkey promised that I would not give up on you (sinsabi ko sa sarili ko to) bc i wanted to show you what its like for someone to stay. You told me about your past and struggles and i did everything i can for that not to happen again. You told me what broke your heart and I nver wanted you to feel anything like that in the relationship. More like i ensured that my intentions for you are pure. But somewhere along the way i came to realise that we both need to grow seperately. Not bc i gave up on you but bc i decided to think about myself and what i needed. I dont wanna text you and talk to u bc i respect you that much to know that this isnt the right time for both of us.

Being the way i am right now is for the best. Were both healing and getting the peace we need. God knows what Hes doing with us and i keep you in my prayers at night. Maybe someday down the line well meet again, at the right time. God will decide tht for us but for now ill be supportive of you in the silence. I dont wanna be civil cuz i know itll jst hurt you more esp since you have strong feelings for me. Dont worry my love for you will remain unconditional. But one thing i cant promise tho is that idk if my love for u will stay. We dont know what the future will bring. We may find our happiness in diff places. We may find it together. But all i know is i trust God to dictate my life. Thank you Ethan. Kahit paano i felt your unconditional love din. You can text me anytime if you need anything. Ill be here nman pow.

[thelifetimechannel]

[araeph]

I think Sokka's quest for identity is one of the most interesting things about him. What it means to be a man, to be useful and to be acknowledged is an interesting central conflict for a supporting character. What do you think S3 Sokka believes it takes to be a man. I think he's learnt to intercede and mediate issues in his family and to make tough choices. What else can you think of?

Sokka: Now men,it’s important that you show no fear when you face a firebender. In the WaterTribe, we fight to the last man standing. For without courage, how can we callourselves men?

Anotherexcellent question! Sokka’s quest for identity is intrinsically linked to hisquest for manliness, because if you’ll recall, Sokka was not able to become aman by Water Tribe custom before he was nominally put in charge of the tribe:

Bato: How aboutyou, Sokka? You must have some good stories from your first time ice-dodging?Katara: He never got to go. Dad left before he was old enough.Bato: Oh, I forgot, you were too young.Aang: What’s ice-dodging?Bato: It’s a rite of passage for young water tribe members.

But while Katara was helping with the chores, keeping her familytogether and helping to deliver babies, Sokka was left adrift, without apaternal example to emulate for two of his teenage years. War never came to hisdoorstep, so he resorts to “training” the kindergarten crowd. And notice thatKatara (and likely the other members of his tribe) don’t take this seriously:

Katara: Ugh, I’membarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I’ve been doing all thework around camp while you’ve been off playing soldier!

Playing soldier.Katara’s right: that’s exactly what Sokka has been doing, because therigid gender expectations of being a man don’t allow him to do anything else.Once Aang arrives and upends Sokka’s world, his identity as a would-be mancollides with the reality of the war and the people around him.

The Four Partsof Being a Man (by Sokka)

1. Leader

Sokka : Iknow you all want to fly, but my instincts tell me we should play it safe thistime and walk.Katara: Who made you the boss?Sokka: I’m not the boss—I’m the leader.Katara : You’re the leader? But your voice still cracks!Sokka: I’m the oldest and I’m a warrior. So…I’m the leader!

Katara: You’rehurt. Badly. You can’t fight anymore. Hakoda: Everyone’s counting on me to lead this mission, Katara. Iwon’t let them down.  Sokka: Can’t you heal him any faster? Katara: I’m doing everything I can. Sokka: I’ll do it.Katara: No offense Sokka but you’re not exactly Mr. Healing Hands.Sokka: No.  I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda:  You can do this. I’m proud of you, son. Katara: I still think you’re crazy but I’m proud of you too. 

Sokka’s father is the chief, so it makes sense that being a man impliesbeing a leader. But before his adventure, Sokka has only a nebulous idea ofwhat that really means. Worse, he seems to think that being a man makes him aleader, instead of being a leader making him a man. When he first tries toassert his authority in “Jet”, he is met with ridicule:

Aang: Walking stinks!How do people go anywhere without a flying bison?Katara: I don’t know Aang. Why don’t you ask Sokka’s instincts—theyseem to know everything.Sokka: Ha ha. Very funny.Aang: I’m tired of carrying this pack.Katara: You know who you should ask to carry it for a while?Sokka’s Instincts!Aang: That’s a great idea! Hey, Sokka’s Instincts, would you mind—Sokka: Okay, okay—I get it.

As so often happens, Sokka has to adapt to the situation. “Jet” is abouta boy who, although a good leader in most senses, leads his team astray intomurder and mayhem. Sokka, even though he is a novice, realizes innocent livesare on the line and warns the townspeople before the dam explodes. He didn’texpect to be a leader at the moment, but he didn’t fail when it really mattered.Throughout the series, his tactical and strategic successes accumulate untilthe entire GAang relies on him to plan their missions. And on “The Day of BlackSun”, despite his fumbling speech beforehand, Sokka takes the reins of themission and performs admirably.

Aang: It’s over.The Fire Lord is probably long gone. Far away on some remote island where he’llbe safe during the eclipse.Sokka: No. My instincts tell me he wouldn’t go too far. He would have asecret bunker. Somewhere he could go so it’ll be safe during a siege but stillbe close enough to lead his nation.Toph: If it’s an underground secret bunker we’re looking for, I’m justthe girl to find it. 

No one’s laughing at Sokka’s instinctsnow.

2. Protector

Katara :Sokka, you’re making a mistake. Sokka: No! I’m keeping my promise to Dad. I’m protecting you fromthreats like him! 

Illusion Yue: You didn’t protect me.

Sokka’smother was murdered when he was very young, and there was nothing he could doabout it. He knows from how devastated his father was and how driven he becameto help the war effort that being a man must mean protecting people—especially the women in your life. Sokkaprotects Katara on multiple occasions from threats real (Jet, Mai) and imagined(Aang, Appa). Protecting Katara is his way of protecting the mother he couldn’tsave as a boy. And his inability to protect Yue from sacrificing herself cutshim deeply. He overcompensates by trying to shield Suki from everything:

Suki:  Look,I know you’re just trying to help, but I can take care of myself. Sokka: I know you can. Suki: Then why are you acting so over protective?Sokka: It’s so hard to lose someone you care about.  Somethinghappened at the North Pole, and I couldn’t protect someone. I don’t wantanything like that to ever happen again.

In the end,Sokka learns how to be protect the people he cares about without stifling them.His shielding of Toph in the finale is very similar to his protecting Katara inthe pilot:

But there’sone key difference: in the pilot, Sokka thought of Katara as someone who ismore in need of protection as a girl. In the finale, Sokka recognizes that Tophcan’t see the falling shards of metal, but respects her fighting ability overand over:

Sokka: Did Imention how sweet it was that you invented metalbending?

Sokka: I am soglad we added you to the group!

3. Warrior

Even morethan being a leader, being a warrior defines being a man in the Water Tribe.And no wonder; with decades of being raided by the ruthless Fire Nation, andwaterbenders being increasingly scarce, the South would have had to rely moreand more on brute strength to drive off the invaders. A warrior is also the onething Sokka is most insecure about because it implies a certain skillset thathe was too young to receive full training in. Not to mention, his sister is awaterbender and he is not. Witness this exchange from “The Warriors of Kyoshi”:

Sokka:  Whoare you? Where are the men who ambushed us? Suki:  There were no men. We ambushed you. Nowtell us, who are you and what are you doing here? Sokka:  Wait a second, there’s no way that a bunch of girls took usdown. 

Althoughgender roles are fairly rigid in the Southern Water Tribe, the Sokka from thevery beginning of the series feels an especially constant need to reinforce being awarrior as a “manly” pursuit and puts Katara down for being a girl. I am remindedof Iroh’s speech to Zuko:

Iroh: Prince Zuko,pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.

Iroh: Truehumility is the only antidote to shame.

Sokka’s status as a nonbender is oftena source of shame for him. He is treated differently by bending masters:

Master Pakku: Sokka. Take care, son. 

And even his own teammates:

Toph: We can take‘em. Three on three.Sokka: Actually, Toph, there’s four of us.Toph: Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t count you. You know, no bending and all.Sokka:  I can still fight!Toph: Okay. Three on three plus Sokka.

This leads him to act proud of hismanliness, an attribute that he needs no training or bending to have. He eventries to get Aang to act “manlier” and not answer to “Twinkletoes”. In the end,though, he confesses the truth about how he feels:

Sokka: Look, Iappreciate the effort, but the fact is each of you is so amazingand so special, and I’m not. I’m just the guy in the groupwho’s regular. 

But Sokka isspecial, and as the series goes on, he proves his mettle with a balance ofoutlandish inventiveness and logical practicality:

Sokka: See, theproblem with the old war balloon was you could get it airborne, but once youdid, it just kept going.  You could put a hole in the top, but then allthe hot air would escape. So the question became, how do you keep a lid on hotair? Katara: Ugh, if only we knew. Sokka: A lid is actually the answer. If you control the hot air, youcontrol the war balloon.  Katara: Hmm. That’s actually pretty smart. 

Sokka: I need a plan of this machine. Some schematics that showwhat the inside looks like. Then we can find it’s weak points. Aang: Where are we gonna get something like that What are youdoing! Someone’s gonna hear us! Sokka:  That’s the point. I figure a machine this big needsengineers to run it, and when something breaks…Katara: They come to fix it. 

He overcomes his insecurities as a warrior by being true to himself.

Piandao: Sokka,when you first arrived, you were so unsure. You even seemed down on yourself.But I saw something in you right away. I saw a heart as strong as a lionturtle, and twice as big. And as we trained, it wasn’t your skills thatimpressed me.  No, it certainly wasn’t your skills.  You showedsomething beyond that.  Creativity, versatility, intelligence… these arethe traits that define a great swordsman. And these are the traits that defineyou.  You told me you didn’t know if you were worthy, but I believe thatyou are more worthy than any man I have ever trained. 

4. Father

Sokka can show how brave he is, how creativehe is, and how much of a leader he’s become. But in the end, he measures hisidentity as a man by his father’s example:

Aang:Sokka, that speech wasn’t your moment of truth. That was just publicspeaking and nobody’s really good at that.Sokka: My Dad is. He explained the plan perfectly and inspired everyone.Like a real leader should. Aang: Look, your moment of truth isn’t going to be in front of some map.It’s going to be out there, on the battlefield. 

Unlike with Zuko, Sokka’s confidence in hisfather is fully justified. As he grows and matures, he becomes, not a copy ofhis father, but his own person. He learns that he can be a warrior withoutputting others down, and he can assert authority without being pigheaded. Hecan trust in his own abilities, regardless of how skilled everyone else isaround him. And Hakoda validates Sokka’s identity in every respect.

As a protector:

Hakoda: Sokka…Sokka: I’m coming with you.Hakoda: You’re not old enough to go to war, Sokka, you know that.Sokka: I’m strong! I’m brave! I can fight! Please, Dad!Hakoda: Being a man is knowingwhere you’re needed the most, and for you right now that’s here protecting yoursister.Sokka: I don’t understand.Hakoda: Someday you will. I’m going to miss you so much.

As a warrior:

Hakoda: Ready togo knock some Fire Nation heads?Sokka:  You don’t know how much this means to me dad. I’ll make youproud, and I’ll finally prove to you what a great warrior I am.Hakoda:  Sokka, you don’t have to prove anything to me.  I’m already proud of you, and I’ve alwaysknown you were a great warrior.Sokka: Really?Hakoda: Why do you think I trusted you to look after our tribe when Ileft?

As a leader:

Sokka:No. I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda:  You can do this.I’m proud of you, son. 

And as a man.

Hakoda: Bato, getthese mines loaded up. The rest of you men, prepare for battle!  Sokka: Uh, what should I do, Dad?Hakoda: Aren’t you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle.

Sokka willbe a fantastic father to his own children someday, no matter what LOK might imply.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/

[apsbicepstraining]

What 8 successful ADHDers crave you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, acquaintances, or peers, they ever ask me how I’m able to get so much better done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might resonate confusing, but realistically, parties with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least , not when we’re is currently working on something that excites us. In reality, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling acts were supposed to be doing.( Why soak the recipes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard casket and a disassembled vacuum cleaner ?)

Most beings with ADHD have to work 10 epoches harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and era administration abilities skills that other people develop naturally over occasion. While drug can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we offer more self-conscious attention to life hacks, remembrance maneuvers, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial arrangements … because we have to .

GIF via Checkoofilm/ YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own professions, perhaps because were built to tackle imaginative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont necessary to discover the same ploys that we do, they can benefit from them. In information, Id “re saying that” ADHDers have some of best available advisory opinions and rehearses for get stuff done even if we dont ever listen to that admonition ourselves .

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity gratuities from beings with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from TAGEND

1. Habits are concepts you get free of charge. So get into ’em .

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I ever start my period with meds, then a shower, then breathes, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are virtually self-automation, which represents less brainpower spent on the interesting thing.

2. Always have a backup( or two, or three) and know where to find it .

I deter additional cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my luggage at all periods. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about maintaining my phone charged.

3. Remember and alertings: love them and use them .

I even have a repetition 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I involve the reminder more than Id like to admit.( Also: IFTTT initiations to automate activities and sync between apps and accounts draw life behavior easier .)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2. “

4. Keep a calendar, and planned in the time it takes for “youve got to” do events .

If it takes you additional time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre projecting your daytime too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage .

Do you get sleepy claim after lunch? Then perhaps dont dive into that intense assignment at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done subsequently? Then do that. Anatomy out what works for you, and follow that planned .

6. Find your tempo and stick with it .

Even if youre not the slow and steady category, a regular blueprint of sprint and remain can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting trounces in my manager to create a lilt, ” says Tv columnist/ director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever rationale, it helps me think through occasions in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/ YouTube.

7. Stir a schedule. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another .

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do index on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger activities get their own rolls where they get broken down into smaller and smaller factors. The rolls also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over attainment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Weighing your progress in a tangible road can assist you seem more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small-time .

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine lift, then they are able to fake it by lodging a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English teach, provides an example: I can speak that breathtaking online fanfic IF I get three articles graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring characters into a game .

I use a fitness watch which checks how many steps I take in a daylight and how many flights of stairs I clamber. Its fun to prepare the numbers go up , says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning scribe. She also reports her daily term count on Twitter, so that people are able to cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring material. Just get it done. It’s faster that room .

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the assignment, instead of on the time itll go for get onto done which, tells be honest, is perhaps less era than you think.( Of direction, although there are I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done .)

12. The more you give occasions pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them . Find a route to keep it fresh . Im a addictive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red-faced notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I differentiate all my emails as “read, ” then use an IFTTT trigger to prompt me later of things that is really require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If occasions decline your knowledge, visual clues can help .

You are well aware that mantra, “Out of view, out of mind? ” For parties with ADHD, that’s reasonably literal to a fault. So it makes it possible to stick events right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them . When I was in college, I videotapeed a postcard to my accommodation door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning castes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain , not against it . Do you tend to lose your keys in the shower? Then make a new residence for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your impulses. Use their impetu to your advantage . And on that note

15. Embrace your peculiarities and find a way to draw them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A mint of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having person tell us whats the right way to do stuffs. For illustration: If someone else leaves me a directory of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their thought, it exclusively reaches me disappointed and confused. I have to create my own to-do inventories in my own method even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a end. Move around. Do a bit dance . Movement helps your intelligence get better. As alluring as it is to made the emphasis on discernible actions, its just as important to not do occasions and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little interval can give you a lot of new view .

I use a portable movable stand table and a duet of bluetooth headphones so that I can mostly dance in place and write at the same duration. My partner reputes I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a era . Its important to abide when youve reached the object of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a respite, and come back to it fresh the next day . This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you ability through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/ YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and be transmitted to others .

“My peers are well aware that in exchange for abiding all the things I do that reach me little dependable, they get a guy who are in a position think outside the box, that can create on the operate, that can wear numerous hats at once, ” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately following chat rather than on email. Give your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Retain your seeing on the reward, but f orgive yourself and others . Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy hitting yourself up .( Youre not going to help anybody else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either .)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but remain flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, “re coming” with a new programme, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which fetches me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson TAGEND

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for the purposes of an good productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inescapable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a mentality. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and continue feeling things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business seek, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or plainly recollecting to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable clue, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

The post What 8 successful ADHDers crave you to know about how they get stuff done. appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[isaacathom]

ok so heres the idea for the evil team. most of the time, the villainous teams are making a statement. their appearance means something very specific, its engineered. team flare, for instance, is flashy and attention grabbing, and youre supposed to give them all of your attention, that sort of thing. team plasma are dressed as medieval knights to support an idea of chivalry, of shining armour and good deeds, to make the public believe theyre the good guys.

so you take it a different way. a team that wants to act in the shadows, individual agents acting in harmony with the greater group but ultimately alone. calls late at night deep inside houses. innocent business trips and weekend holidays. its all sneaky.

but you still want to give them a recognisable design. something that does mark them out as a group, unified. so, you keep them mostly ordinary, but with a few key items that might cause a second glance, but without context just seem like some style trend youve just sorta missed. stuff like all of them having long coats and collars that can cover their faces. stuff like them all wearing scarfs even if its summer. stuff like the same coloured shirts. stuff that individually looks generic enough, but when all combined, looks a lil smth smth. stuff like fancy lapel badges and necklaces, a belt with too many filled pouches, a hood that seems to be up more often than not. and then, in an ideal world, there’d be minor variants within that team. like, say they all that a coat and a scarf and a lapel badge. some have long skirts, some have pants, some have a button up pale shirt and some have turtleneck dark shirts. one of them has a set of hair pins that matches the badge, another wears bright coloured leggings, like you just sorta vary it up. the whole point is they seem like ordinary people. you dont think hard about seeing them.

itd get different with the higher ups, and even people like the YT. They’d have a lil more insignia stuff, like itd be more obvious. maybe one higher up is a person with a hoodie that has the teams symbol on it. then the leader, whoever that is, probably has something more formal, like a suit with the logo, a tie with the logo, shit like that. looks like its business for them.

its basically a team of secret agents, almost like team plasma v2 except they arent ninja pirates with a flying fucking ship that shoots ice lasers. 

i just think itd be fun. there could even be an element of it being homemade, like some of the first grunts you encounter clearly handsewed their insignia on their shirt’s left breast and instead of lapel badges theyve got like, those cheap paper badges that you laminate in a circle and draw with texta? like theyre more ramshackle earnest. the higher up you get, the more professional it gets, and harder it becomes to spot them in a crowd because theyve tailored their Look Perfectly.

thatd be a way thered be a brief misdirect with YT. when you first meet them, they look nice and professional, though ofc their aggressive and try to tell you to go home and they probably wont let you leave town (until you beat the gym and cause a progression in the time force). but the grunts you encounter soon after, theyre so clearly members of an evil team but dont share any obvious elements with YT beyond like. dark colours, maybe. or, alternatively, the grunts are super heavy handed in how theyre clearly in the evil team, but YT just looks. like a normal person. a light coloured coat buttoned up but loose at the bottom, jeans, a scarf. just normal. but then as you progress later, and keep seeing YT (but not strictly in direct correlation to the team) and you fight the more sophisticated grunts, you notice the commonalities, the coats, the scarf.

thatd be kinda cool. like for a brief bit you might think YT is a gym leader or maybe even roaming E4 with an ego that manifests in telling people they arent worth shit. then when you notice the commonalities and connect th dots, its like OH its a fucking evil team admin. fuck there they go!

also, itd be fun if theres a slight branch. in the sense that, when you first encounter YT as a confirmed member of the evil team, heading a bit in a city, they dont tell you their name until after you beat them. as they go to leave, they tell you their name, and tell that to the older trainer whose been mentoring you. and you can just choose not to do that. you will encounter the older trainer, shortly after in fact (they dont walk in just after the guy leaves, you meet back up with them after you leave the building). and when the older trainer demands answers to what you were doing, you get the typical pokemon limited responses. you can say ‘i was fighting team [whatsit]’ or ‘i met that guy again’. you say you were just fighting team whatsit, he goes off in a rage about how he told you not to, blah blah. but if you say you fought THAT guy again, he pauses. what about him? then, w/o dialogue choosing, your trainer tells him who YT is, like their name and what they said. and the elite trainer stops. they tell you angrily you shouldnt have gone after team whatsit, but they sigh alot. its basically the same as the other branch, but with a lot of extra pauses and that additional YT mention at the start.

then, when you get to the scene where the elite trainer attempts to flee without you, the confrontation between them and YT will play out differently. if the elite trainer KNOWS thats YT, he’ll be composed if nervous, he’ll be begging for chances, he’ll be rationalising why he fled. if the elite trainer doesnt know its YT, that revelation will shake the fuck out of him, he’ll be a quivering wreck, overcome with the emotion of the fact that YT didnt die, but survived and wants to squarely kick him in the gut off the side of a skyscraper. or something. elito knowing YT is YT will be diplomatic. elito not knowing YT is YT will be emotional. i mean both would be but still. and itd slightly alter YT’s dialogue, they’d be angry at you if you didnt tell elito, but they’ll also be sadistically pleased that they get to see how elito feels. if you did tell elito, yt is actually more emotional, because elito prepared slightly for this confrontation and yt was caught off guard.

itd make slightly less changes later. like, end game. itd have some tiny dialogue changes before that. but like, after the villain story is wrapped. lets say that once you beat the villain and leave and go celebrate, YT comes and just socks elito square in the jaw. just because theyve wanted to for years. they make a speech about how his cowardice caused people to suffer. itd be pretty bitterly emotional for YT. but how THAT ends depends on the choice. like. if you told elito, YT would actually then offer elito their hand and help him back up off the ground, they’d make a sort of apology thats a bit stumbling and weak and full of digs, but itd be clear theyve thought about what elito said in this grunt gang bang and they want to put this behind them. if you DIDNT tell elito, YT will end his speech by spitting at elito and leaving. YT would show up later, possibly as part of post-game content, or maybe they fuck off into the ether like N does, idk.

it might also change elitos outcome. if they reconnect with YT and start making amends, theyd end up in a different place post game, maybe at YTs old home, talking to their parents, and theyd commit themselves further to not doing this again. if they dont connect with YT, theyd remain in their e4 villa or whatever, cowardly again, hiding from the outside.

the idea is that if YT reconnects, it affirms to the elite trainer that theyve at least slightly changed for the better, and that they can continue to improve. if they dont reconnect, they simply fall further into that anguish. fall of the wagon, as it were. the end of that story would be them resigning their elite post and simply fading from the news.

or SOMETHING like that. there could be more variables. the idea is that you can help YT and elito at least talk out their problems and help them reconcile what happened, help elito apologise for his awful behaviour and help YT sort of atone for the bad shit they did in seeking that apology (since, yknow, they sided with the villains and did some villainous shit while also pursuing that revenge). like you can basically mediate and help them at least start a dialogue. whether itd end well or even amicably between them would be debatable. but itd be better than the two of them never really getting that chance to talk it out, to just say what they thought and have it bubble inside them for years? yknow. hence why the non-reconnect ending is all bitter. it leaves elito a cowardly wreck. it leaves yt as someone who doesnt feel satisfied with their revenge and thus continues to exercise that aggression through villainy. its Bad End, buddy.

i mean itd be stupid if bad end was tied just to that one dialogue choice so it possible be possible to mention it at other points, like when elito is just standing around and doesnt have hyper fixed dialogue, you can approach them and youd get some minor options about stuff to say. dialogue choices, mother fuckers. like you approach him and you can ask how his day is, giving you basically a semi relevant thing about how he feels at that moment. and then youd have like, an advice one, like ‘got any advice’ and hed tell you something semi relevant. and then thered be the 3rd, unique option - ‘ive got something to tell you’ and that gives you the chance to tell him about YT if you picked the other option at the original dialogue. and maybe, just in general, that third option after you tell elito about YT would let you ask about YT and get a general backstory on the kid, expanded from what elito tells you in ‘vanilla’.

tl;dr i love this idea i love this shit godddddddddddddddd

[yua-shizuka]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[fangirl-with-a-shoulder-fettish]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[otaku-douchebag-ponytail]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[lavendermiilk]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[txny-archxr]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[nepaca]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[saintofsunflowers]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/