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stelliyue-cafe · 1 year ago

Text

A/N: First time writing for Love and Deepspace- (More notes at the end).

Fic Notes:

SLIGHT CHAPTER 4 SPOILERS

Canon divergence(?)

The number of times I had this song on REPEAT as I wrote this

Pairing: Caleb / Female! Reader

Genre: Mutual pining; Slow burn; Fluff; Romance; Angst

Summary: Falling in love with Caleb wasn’t love at first sight. Falling in love with him was more like a thief in the night- unexpected.

Growing up with Grandma exposed her to two people: Caleb and Zayne.

Caleb had invited her and Zayne over. Why bother having two different playdates when he could have one playdate with his two best friends in the world, right?

She looked up at the boy standing in front of her. “You’re the famous Zayne that he keeps rambling about. Besides getting into the Aerospace Academy, you’re all he ever talks about.”

“He talks about me?” Zayne asked, a bit shocked.

She nodded. “Mhm!”

“Zayne! (Y/N)! You’re here!” Caleb said, running into the backyard where they had been waiting.

“About time, Caleb.” Zayne scolded, his arms crossing over his chest.

Caleb put up his hands in defense. “I was only five minutes late, Zayne!”

“Then next time, you should set an alarm.”

She laughed at their small argument. “You two act so much like brothers!”

They stared at each other before Caleb joined in on the laughter. Zayne huffed, his friend’s tardiness erased from his mind.

~*~*~

Caleb and Zayne were like the brothers she never had. Despite going to different schools, she was there for them as they were for her. They always walked her to and from school. They studied, played, and had sleepovers. And as the years went by, the trio became inseparable. Following the boys she looked up to so much, she did everything she could to get into the same private university. Sure, it was a difficult process, but her hard work was worth it.

She loved Caleb and Zayne and she told them every single day. Yet… there was a different subtext whenever she told Caleb that, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“You’re dating the one guy in your coding class, right? Yet you set everything aside for Caleb and Zayne. Not to mention the whole saying “I love you” to them. Is your boyfriend okay with that?” The words of her friend echoed in her mind as she walked home.

“That’s a stupid question.” She muttered. “I love them, but in a familial, platonic kind of way.”

“(Y/N)!”

Her gaze shifted up from the concrete to the direction of the voice that called her. “Zayne?” She breathed out.

She stopped as he caught up to her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he shook her gently. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? After our classes ended, Caleb told me that you weren’t feeling well.”

(Y/N) blinked, putting her hands up in reassurance. “I’m fine, Zayne! I just have a small headache.”

His eyes looked up and down, head tilting left and right, making sure she had no symptoms of any other illness. Zayne grumbled, cursing Caleb under his breath. She held onto his arms, comforting him. “Hey… I’m okay.”

He exhaled as he released his grip from her shoulders. “He exaggerated, didn’t he?” He said, letting his hands drop to his sides.

She giggled, already walking past him. “I swear, you believe him a little too easily sometimes.”

“Hey, I was worried.” He said, turning to catch up with her. Now walking at her side, he continued. “I promised your grandmother that I’d watch you both.”

They continued to walk in the semi-comforting silence. The street lights lighting their way home. The conversation stopped there, leaving a lingering tension. It wasn’t a bad feeling. More like- there was something else that needed to be said.

‘It’s not me you should be concerned about. Caleb worries and cares about you more than I ever could.’

��Hello?”

“Hello, just called to update you on the status of his exams,” Zayne replies.

“Wait, is that (Y/N)?” She heard a second voice ask.

“Of course, it’s-”

“(Y/N)! Guess what happened!” She heard Caleb butt in, taking the phone from Zayne.

She laughed. “How’d the exam go? What happened?”

“I got into the Aerospace Academy!” He cheered.

“Caleb, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! You deserve it!” She cheered.

“Thanks (Y/N). You’ve always been my number one supporter!”

“And what am I? The understudy? I got into the top residency program in the city, can I get some applause?” Zayne mumbled.

“I heard that, Doctor Zayne!”

“I’m not a licensed doctor yet.”

“We should go out and celebrate this weekend!” Caleb suggested.

“Of course! Just text me the details.”

“For sure! Alright, we’ll stop bugging you now! Come on, Doctor Z.”

“Give my phone back,” A small pause. “and (Y/N), don’t be like Caleb and overwork yourself, okay?”

“I won’t, but the same goes for you.” She huffed.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

CLICK!

She put her phone back in her pocket and walked back inside the library. Her boyfriend took a break from his laptop and looked up. “What was that all about?”

“Oh! Caleb got into the Aerospace Academy and Zayne got into his residency program which I think is pretty cool!”

Her rambling fell to deaf ears as he had enough of her constant babble about her friends. “(Y/N), we need to talk.”

“I’m sure we can talk about it later! Come on, we need to study!” She said, sitting back down and pulling her textbook close.

“(Y/N), will you just listen?” He groaned in frustration.

She closed her textbook. “This sounds serious. What’s on your mind?”

“What I’m trying to say is…”

“Is…?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long while now…” He paused, all prior confidence leaving him in that instant- insecurities quickly filling his mind.

Despite Caleb and Zayne being her childhood friends, her boyfriend thought they were the type of guys that he hoped she’d avoid, but he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. They were skilled, intelligent, and popular. Who wouldn’t want to be like them?

“Hey, if you have something important to say, then say it.” She said, trying to get his attention.

“I… I want to break up.”

“Oh, okay.” Her expression softened.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“What else is there to say? You’re the one that wants to break up.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. She wanted to say more, but she decided against it. Her eyes went back to her textbook as she slowly reached for her pencil. “We can finish this exercise and we can call it a day.” The sound of flipping pages and pencil lead scratching against the paper made the room feel so much bigger, and her feeling so much smaller.

Once the work was completed, they parted ways. “See you at school, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, you too.” She didn’t like the heavy, yet empty feeling that sat in her heart.

~*~*~

Observant as ever, Caleb and Zayne knew something was wrong. However, it didn’t take long for the news to reach their ears. No words were exchanged when they looked at each other. They just nodded, knowing that they were going to do whatever it took to cheer up their best friend.

After classes, they made their way to the convenience store to buy ice cream and other snacks. When they got to her place, her grandmother let them in right away. She knew that if anyone could cheer her up, it was those two.

Now, actively ignoring her best friends was a bad idea, but it wasn’t her first breakup. The weight of it all was too much to bear, and she knew she had to be strong. Besides, what did they know about healing hearts? Zayne knew how to fix a heart in the literal sense, not metaphorical, and Caleb was usually the cause of his fangirls’ broken hearts. Granted, he wasn’t leading them on, he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, but that didn’t soften the blow of rejection.

Her head rested on the pillow she held close to her chest. Her hair was unkempt and the tears kept flowing down her cheeks. Earbuds were playing the music that once brought her joy. The words that made her heart flutter were now just a painful reminder of what she once had. When she saw her ex in class, he seemed unphased by the break-up. He smiled brighter. Last night, she was so nonchalant about it, so why was she crying now?

She hated being alone while being in a headspace like the one she was in now. It caused her to overthink, but she didn’t want to burden her loved ones with such trivial problems.

The sound of faint knocks on her door broke her from her spiral of intrusive thoughts, causing her to look up from her tear-stained pillow and towards the door. She sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

Brushing the hair that stuck to her cheeks, she cleared her throat. “I’m fine, grandma! Just need some alone time…” She said, her voice coming to a whisper by the end.

She heard the doorknob turn which caused her to panic. She gripped onto the fabric of her pillowcase. “I said!-”

“Hey, we heard what happened,” Zayne said as he slowly opened the door. He and Caleb slowly made their way to the edge of her bed, snacks in hand.

“B-But we can leave if you want some alone time.” Caleb cut in.

Who were they kidding? How could they possibly make her feel better? Surely, she’d want the company of her girl friends. They’d know what to do, right?

She didn’t meet their gaze at first, her fingers now playing with the fabric. Could she depend on them for temporary comfort? It wasn’t until she heard the bag full of snacks being placed on the work desk that made her look up at them. She quickly grabbed the sleeve of Caleb’s jacket.

“Please don’t leave…”

“We weren’t planning to,” Caleb replied, sitting down next to her on the mattress. Zayne sat down on her other side, rubbing circles on her back.

‘If you were mine, I’d never hurt you.’ Caleb thought as she continued to cry into his shoulder. But he knew better.

To say he had a crush was an understatement. No- Caleb was in love with her. Despite him wanting to be something more, her happiness and feelings came first. They were friends and that’s all they ever were.

“Caleb… I-”

“You need a pick me up?”

“Yeah…”

“Zayne said he’s got things to do so he can’t make it. But I’ll be there in twenty-five, okay?”

“That’s okay. Zayne has already done so much and I don’t mind spending some time with just you.”

He chuckled. “Do you want me to bring some snacks?”

“Yes, please! Do you know those honey butter chips? Could you get some of those?” (Y/N) sniffled.

“Of course. Okay, I’ll start heading over. See you soon.”

“See ya soon…”

CLICK!

When Caleb walked inside, he almost dropped the bag due to her almost immediately bear-hugging him. “Whoa, (Y/N)! At least let me put down my bag.” He said, awkwardly patting her head.

Once she let go, they walked into the living room and settled on the couch. Caleb pulled out a bag of honey butter chips and handed it to her. She mumbled a small thanks.

They both sat in silence as she munched on the crunchy heaven. He knew that something wasn’t right. He felt like he was stepping around eggshells as he tried to figure out a way to start talking to her, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

“(Y/N)… Are you okay?”

She paused for a moment and put the bag of chips down. “I’m just… having a hard time lately. Exams, some group projects that I’ve had to shoulder most of the weight, and moving on from him. I loved him! I gave my all to him, but he said I spent too much time with you guys…” She sighed.

Caleb gave her a sympathetic look, trying to understand what she was going through. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t possibly put himself in her shoes.

His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but closed back up in fear of making the situation worse. Instead of saying a thing, he moved the chip bag to the table and scooted closer to her. He gently grabbed her wrist before pulling her into a hug, holding her firmly but gently in his embrace.

He knew that under her confident, carefree yet hardworking personality, she carried the world on her shoulders. She ran fast- her head was always looking forward, preparing for the next phase of her life, always analyzing, always changing. She laughed hard- even at the most trivial things, like Zayne having rice crumbs on his face because the food was so good that all manners were out the door. And she was kind- she tried her damn hardest to accommodate everyone’s concerns.

To Caleb, actions spoke louder than words. When it came to hugging her, he knew to make sure that she was the first one to pull away. “Things will get better… Zayne and I? We’ll always be here for you. And your other friends too. Just don’t be afraid to ask for help.” He whispered.

“Thank you, Caleb.” She replied softly.

(Y/N) sniffled, burying her head into his shoulder, her tears wetting his jacket. He held her tighter, rubbing circles on her back, trying to soothe her. After a while of quiet sobs and sniffles, she pulled away, looking up at him. “Thank you so much.”

Caleb leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome.”

~*~*~

The months passed by and graduation had finally arrived. “Stop thinking too far ahead, (Y/N)! We just graduated.” Caleb said, playfully nudging her shoulder as they walked away from the university campus.

“I have to agree. You need to learn to live in the moment.” Zayne jokes, nudging her other side.

“Hey!” She squeaked as she bumped into Caleb’s side.

“Careful, (Y/N)! I won’t be here to catch you all the time~” Caleb teased, gently holding onto her arm, making sure she was steady.

Zayne huffed. “That’s why I’m here to make sure you two don’t do anything dumb.”

She rolled her eyes, playfully smacking their arms with her diploma case. “Ugh, you two are so mean to me!”

The crimson sky soon faded to a dark shade of navy blue. The stars were more evident than ever. The winter winds were making their last rounds before handing the torch to spring.

As they made their way home, Caleb and Zayne got lost in their conversation about their future endeavors. She ended up trailing behind, but still close enough to hear their rambling.

When she looked up, it came to her attention how much taller they were. Since they were little, the three of them were always similar in height. Now they were giants. Giants with plans for the future. Up until that day, she always looked forward. Now, she wanted nothing more than to look back- for this moment in time to stand still.

~*~*~

Zayne was aware of their late-night rendezvous. It started with the three of them sneaking out to buy ice cream and watch television until the ungodly hours of the night. But as he caught on to their feelings for each other, he purposefully made excuses to not go.

“Zayne didn’t answer. So I guess he fell asleep.” Caleb said, slightly relieved.

“Let him sleep. We can hang out without him!” She cheered in a hushed tone, careful not to wake her grandmother.

“I feel bad. You’re getting good at Mario Kart. You might beat Zayne next time.” He teased, interlocking his pinky with hers.

She adjusted her hold, now fully holding his hand. “Don’t tell him that! Then I might feel bad when I inevitably win~” She said, feeding into their banter. She tugged on his hand, “Let’s go get the snacks first!”

It didn’t even register in his mind that they were holding hands until he noticed that his thumb was rubbing hers. Caleb looked down at their hands just as she began to pull away. He took that as a sign to gently squeeze her hand in reassurance.

That night, they did their usual activities. They ate the snacks as they raced each other on different tracks. (Y/N) throwing a pillow at his face to shut him up when he groaned in frustration when she bumped him off the track on Rainbow Road. Then they proceeded to watch movies, cuddled up in each other's arms.

Every time they had their late-night hangouts, their feelings for each other increased just a bit more. They fell in love for the night, but when they woke up, they would forget- or rather, push aside said feelings- in the morning.

From an outsider’s point of view, they’d think of them as a couple. And in a sense, they were. In everything, but the title.

“Caleb, who are we waiting for?” Rafayel asked, his hands resting on his hips. Waiting for a fifth person was not how he wanted to spend his day.

“Chill, Raf! She’s about five minutes away.” Caleb pouted.

“You’re bringing your girlfriend to our hangout?” Xavier added.

“What happened to the bro code?”

“Not his girlfriend,” Zayne mumbled.

Before anyone could say anything else, (Y/N) turned the corner. “Caleb! Zayne!” She cheered, running to the friends she missed so much.

Caleb held his arms out, bracing for impact from her hug. Being used to her surprise hugs, he braced himself. When she ran into his embrace, she relaxed, nuzzling her face into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

‘Lavender and vanilla.’ He thought as he caught a whiff of her perfume.

He took a step back, making sure he was steady before setting her down. Once letting him go, she went over to hug Zayne. “Sorry, Z!” She said sheepishly.

“It’s fine, (Y/N)!” Zayne said, patting her head whilst giving her a side hug.

“Care to introduce us, Caleb?” Rafayel asked.

She removed herself from Caleb’s side to introduce herself. “Nice to meet you! I’m (Y/N)!”

“I’m Rafayel!”

“Xavier.”

After breaking the ice, the five of them started to make their way to the nearest cafe. Rafayel and Xavier had already warmed up to her. “(Y/N)! You’re so sweet and kind! Smart, but you can kick ass too!” Rafayel started.

Xavier hummed. “I thought a guy like Caleb would be the type of guy you’d avoid.” He said, continuing his friend’s train of thought.

Caleb wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Don't waste your time on jealous guys, (Y/N). You know you love us. And by us, I mean, me."

She let out a snort. “That’s subjective.”

He gasped whilst dramatically placing his hand over his chest. “Zayne! Make her take it back!” He said, earning a burst of laughter from his other friends.

Zayne shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “That’s not for me to decide.”

Seeing her interact and get along with his other friends was everything he ever wanted. As the outing continued, Rafayel had taken more of a liking to her. “You’re as cute as a goldfish!” She teased.

“Yeah, and this goldfish needs protecting! So get to it, Miss Bodyguard!”

Caleb’s head quickly turned in their direction. Wait, where was his cute animal association?

Xavier chuckled. “Oh, that’s gold. I’m never going to let you live that down.”

A blush tinted Rafayel’s cheeks. “Piss off, Xavier!”

“(Y/n)-” Caleb started before Zayne nudged his side. They didn’t exchange any words, but Caleb understood. He knew better.

The years went by in a flash and they were right by her side, just like they promised. When Caleb left for the Academy, their trio was reduced to a duo. Sure it was a bit difficult to adjust the dynamic of the group, but they made it work. She made sure that she and her friends never lost touch.

But Caleb always came back for the holidays. They sat at a table at the cafe closest to her grandmother’s house. “If I had the time to do a full analysis paper on this, I would. I’m not boring you, am I, Caleb?” She asked, wondering if he’d even be interested in hearing what she had to say about her most recent hyper-fixation.

Caleb nodded. “No, please continue. You want to talk about something you love and no one should shut you down for it.” He said before taking a sip of his coffee.

She flashed a smile at him. God, he could look at that smile forever.

He stared at her in awe. In his eyes, she was still the same girl as she was in university, ever so analyzing. During his school years, he was able to improve his people skills. Being more observant, he noticed the small things about her. The way she’d tap her feet to the beat of the song, yet her fingers were tapping the melody. The face of anticipation she had whenever she’d gotten a new idea for her next project. The list went on.

She giggled, breaking him from his thoughts. “Thanks for listening, Caleb. I feel like I have to hide this side of me from this guy I’ve been seeing. He and I have been on a couple of dates, but we never made anything official yet... I think he's still in love with his ex. And I don’t blame him. Just hearing about the way he talks about her… He’s in love with her and I don’t want to get in the way of that.” She said, rubbing the lid of her latte.

Even though she was fixated on her cup, his eyes were fixated on her. He chuckled. “I've listened to Zayne talk about anything and EVERYTHING for years. I can handle a little nerd talk from you. And you shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel like you need to censor yourself.”

When she looked up, their eyes met and he felt it. His heart skipped a beat.

“Don’t look at me like that or I might fall in love with you.” She teased. Lies- she was already in love with him.

Caleb’s departure date was nearing quicker than expected. And she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could- she regretted not doing that with Caleb before he left the first time.

After a full day of activities, they made their way to Caleb’s hotel room. When they reached their destination, they rushed inside and leaned against the door to catch their breath.

“Caleb… Never make me run... in uncomfortable shoes... ever again.” (Y/N) said between breaths.

“Duly noted.” Caleb chuckled, resting the back of his head against the wall. “You know… You're the most amazing person I've ever met. (Y/N), when I'm with you I don't feel so... alone.”

A pause. “Sometimes it's better to be alone.” She said, rubbing her upper arms.

“What makes you say that?” He asked, pushing himself off the wall.

“Nobody can hurt you.” She said, trying her best to not look at him.

“(Y/N)... Are you afraid to fall in love?” He quickly replied.

"No- I'm afraid of being the only one who falls." She turned to face him, not realizing how close they were to each other. Her mouth acted faster than her brain could comprehend.

“I know you’re going back to the academy tomorrow. I’ll be left alone. Sure there’s Rafayel and Xavier and I don’t know them as well as you and Zayne do. But spending time without you this past year made me realize things. And I don’t know if I’m in denial or what, but I feel something for you. I can’t explain it, but my heart beats just a bit faster when I’m around you and I don’t want to assume things… So, let's both do ourselves a favor and stop this before we-”

He glanced down at her and pressed his lips against hers. Shocked at his actions he pulled away. “I’m sorry…”

“Caleb…” She blushed before looking at his lips and then met his eyes. “Could you do that again?”

“A-Are you sure?”

“Just kiss me.”

He nodded, kissing her once again- this time with more emotion. She froze but found herself reciprocating with the same passion. They drowned in each other. Once it started, they couldn't bring themselves to stop. He could feel the connection that was between them and she could too.

They pulled away for air. "I'm sorry, Caleb.” She apologized.

“Shh…” Caleb leaned into her until his lips were inches away from hers. "Let’s pretend that we love each other for one night…"

… It wasn’t pretending for either of them.

However, the topic of their feelings was pushed to the back of their minds when Caleb suggested that they spend their last night together eating snacks and watching movies.

When the sun rose the next morning, she woke up in the arms of the man she loved. Nothing happened after the kiss-it just got a bit heated. Their hands explored each other like newfound territory, but it was only on the surface: Messy hair, wrinkled clothes, and heavy breaths.

Rays of sunshine peeked through the curtains, waking her up from her peaceful slumber. Deciding to close the curtains, she tried to sit up, but the weight of Caleb’s arm wrapped around her waist prevented her from doing so.

"It's too early for us to be up..." His husky voice rang out in the quiet room. She slowly turned in his hold to face him.

"Caleb… You’re leaving today.” She whispered, running her fingers through his bedhead.

"I know… Can we just stay like this for a little longer?” He muttered, burying his face in the crook of her neck, making her sigh in content. They stayed like that for a while, his arms wrapped protectively around her, and she almost fell asleep, only to force herself to stay awake.

"Caleb! We need to get you to the station."

Caleb shook his head, making her chuckle at his childish behavior. "But (Y/N)~" He pouted, his eyes still closed, as he tightened his grip on her waist, just enough to keep her at bay. Seeing no clear way to victory, she sighed, giving in for just a moment longer.

~*~*~

No amount of handbooks, study guides, or crash course videos could prepare them for this moment. Now at the train station, they leaned against the railing near the seating area. They’d gotten there in advance so they could avoid any last-minute casualties that could occur.

They spent those moments listening to Caleb’s playlist that he made consisting of songs that reminded him of their friendship. From various genres, (Y/N) smiled at the song choices. What he failed to remember was the one love song that was in that playlist.

“Let’s fall in love for the night and forget in the morning.”

“Hey! I love this song!” (Y/N) cheered.

“Yeah? Me too.” Caleb stuttered, moving his head to the side to hide his blush.

“Play me a song that you like, you can bet I’ll know every line.” She sang along softly, but Caleb could hear it.

“Cause I’m the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid. Don’t waste your time on jealous guys, fuck that noise. I know better than to call you mine.” He chuckled at the line he sang.

“Caleb! Language, what would granny say!” She scolded, playfully smacking his arm.

“It’s just lyrics, (Y/N)!” He replied, rubbing the area of impact.

She smiled at him, wanting to savor their last moments together.

They spent years hiding their feelings behind shy smiles, hugs that lasted way too long, and hand-holding that always carried a romantic subtext. They had suspicions of each other’s feelings, yet they did nothing about it after that.

The song was only 3 minutes and 10 seconds long, but to them, it felt like an eternity. They hummed along to the song, with Caleb singing the lyrics near the end. They wished they had more time.

“Cause I’m the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid. Don’t waste your time on jealous guys, fuck that noise. I know better,” He sang as he faced her, having the courage to hold her hands in his.

(Y/N) blinked the sudden gesture. She realized that this was it. This was his confession, albeit a somber one, but a confession nonetheless. “Caleb… Don’t finish the song…” She whispered.

“I know better…” He sighed deeply, lifting one of his hands to cup her cheek. Caleb knew that would be the last he’d ever see her until the next holiday. His eyes met her gaze as he thought about the missed opportunities.

‘She deserves better. Someone who isn’t afraid to admit their feelings.’ He thought.

Caleb kissed her forehead. “I know better than to ever call you mine.” He sang, soft enough that only she could hear. She gasped before he pulled away. Caleb gave her a slight nod before turning to walk over to his gate. The smell of lavender and vanilla slightly lingered around him.

And like before, they fell in love for the night and forgot in the morning.

End notes:

Woke up and chose violence :) Every time I write angst, let’s drink a glass of water.

I don’t think my friend is ever going to listen to sad love songs around me anymore.

#oracle of stars #love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x reader #love and deepspace x reader #cafe order

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