#orado

[fadeed06]

[shaotie]

What D.I.D I Do Wrong? - Short 1

Therapy and Trauma

(see the end for notes)

🔹🔹🔹

~One Year Post Krang Invasion~

"How long were you in the prison dimension?"

Leo shifted uncomfortably in his chair, shooting his eyes down and gripping the armrests a little tighter. He gave the cushioned couch in his yokai therapist's office a quick glance - wishing he had chosen to sit there instead when he first arrived because he could have cuddled into one of the pillows for comfort and hidden away a little bit behind it.

But he hadn't chosen that spot.

Why not?

Oh. Right. Orado had taken over the moment Jocelyn - Leo's skunk yokai therapist - opened the door and greeted him with her usual warm, grinning face.

As if he was in a robotic body and someone else had taken the controls, Leo had watched through his own eyes while Orado confidently walked into the office and promptly sat his turtle bum in the chair because it was the most defensible position out of the choice between the couch and the chair.

Orado - a dominate aspect of Leo's shattered personality - took control and picked to be in the best position possible to protect Leo.

Because apparently that was the sort of thing that happened to a person who was raised by an emotionally neglectful parent and later suffered through a series of traumatic events that triggered the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.

Leo kept his eyes down, visibly curling in on himself and looking at the cuff to his hoodie sleeve as he picked at it.

"Who am I talking with now?" Jocelyn kindly asked him.

Boo.

Self conscious, insecure, passive, fearful little Boo, who felt like a manifestation of Leo as a child inside his teenage turtle mind.

There was no doubt in Leo's fractured mind that Boo was sitting up front with him right now - likely because some other aspect of his personality shoved him there to be a support because Boo never presented himself voluntarily unless he felt they were in a safe environment.

The thought of having to answer the first question Jocelyn asked (about the prison dimension) made Leo curl in on himself a little more - wishing he could shrink down into the size of the ink blot stained on his well-worn blue comfort hoodie and make himself all but disappear.

"Uh . . . I'm ah..."

He picked at his sleeve cuff some more, poking and pinching the wet spot from when his Cleo persona had been anxiously chewing on it in the waiting room, and told her: "I'm Leo, but Boo's here too."

"Thank you for telling me, Leo. I know that Boo likes to be heard, do you think I can ask him a question?"

"Mm hmm," Leo hummed in reply, nodding his head but keeping it pointed down with his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie.

"I'm glad you're with us Boo, I have a question for you."

Jocelyn's voice took on a slightly high-pitched intonation as though she really was talking to a little child - all without losing the kindness and empathy she used that drew Leo to her in the first place (and helped him decide to stick with her after unsuccessfully going through five psychologists prior).

"Can you tell me about the bad place? Do you remember it?" Jocelyn asked, substituting the words 'prison dimension' with 'bad place' for Boo's sake.

Boo sniffled.

Cleo shared the front with them.

Leo closed his eyes to shut out the visual stimuli that was adding to his mounting fear because of how easily Cleo was overstimulated by lights and movements, and how the child-like Boo aspect of his personality was of the mindset that seeing meant being seen - aka not seeing meant not being seen.

And Leo slunk back a little into his mindscape.

This time when he spoke, the slider's voice came out sounding a little more high-pitched and childish because his fear was mounting, so he asked Boo to take the lead in talking - giving Leo a glass wall of sorts to hide behind.

"Yeah, I was there, I remember-WHAT did you DO to him!?"

Taking control of Leo's body Orado stood him on his feet, fists clenched and staring down Leo's therapist like he was a proud, mighty samurai staring down the enemy on the battle line.

Jocelyn tensed a little - not from anger but worry, not knowing exactly which personality was in the front right now but being aware that only Leo's dominate personas had the capacity to take control like that, and that one of Leo's two dominate personalities had the potential to explode in uncontrolled, violent outbursts.

That tension became slightly evident in her tone of voice when she asked: "Who in control now?"

Narrowing his eyes in anger, Orado answered: "Wouldn't you like to know."

Jocelyn breathed a sigh of relief because she knew now that she was talking to Orado and not the potentially explosive and wildly unpredictable Cleo.

But that also came with its own set of challenges because Orado firmly refused to share any information he believed could potentially threaten the person he swore to protect above all others - that person being Leo.

And in Orado's eyes Jocelyn was a stranger, an outsider to their family, so that made her more than someone to be distrustful of - it made her the enemy.

Orado pushed Leo from the mindscape where he was hiding into the back of his subconscious where he was the safest, so he wouldn't be present for this potentially triggering conversation. Meaning that once he was given back control of himself, Leo would have absolutely no memory of events that occured from the moment Orado pushed him away to whenever he decided it was safe to relinquish his control.

From Leo's perspective, no matter how much time passed in reality it would be nothing more than a split second flash of time - as though he had been teleported into the future in the blink of an eye.

Crossing his stiff arms and standing tall and erect in a way that showed off his confidence, Orado firmly demanded of Leo's psychologist:

"I turned my back for three seconds..."

He paused for emphasis and to glare at her.

"And when I come back Leo's hiding behind Boo because you," he thrust a hand out to point a finger at her before folding it back with the other flush to his chest, "...triggered him. A-gain."

Leo's therapist had years of experience helping patients who suffer from dissociative identity disorder, so her response - as always - was just as kind and gentle as the smile on her face.

"You are doing a good job protecting Leonardo."

"Lee-o, he's not Leonardo," Oredo corrected, indicating 'Leonardo' was a new budding distinct personality taking shape inside Leo's shattered mind - but relaxing his tone of voice slightly because he was arrogant and felt deserving of praise.

"Ah."

Jocelyn wrote something down in her notebook, commenting as she did so: "There's seven personalities inside Leo's mind now?"

"Eight. Get it right and learn to pay attention," Orado snapped with an angry scowl.

"My mistake," came the calm, gentle reply.

Orado looked her up and down condescendingly, keeping his stiff composure and scowl on his face as he watched her carefully for any sign that her presence might in some way pose a threat to the whole of him.

That 'whole' being Leo, who had hidden away in the dissociative void the moment Orado took control and pushed him to the far back of his subconscious.

Then, just as abruptly as Orado first presented himself Leo's body language shifted - relaxing but still standing confidently and uncrossing his arms to rest his hands on his hips - as Orado stepped aside to let another persona by the name of Leon take control on Leo's left side, while Cleo watched through his right eye.

In a smug, condescending tone of voice, Leon told Jocelyn: "If you wanna ask any of your silly little questions hurry up and get them over with cuz Leo's in the void and like the loser he is he's dragging me down."

Jocelyn knew from personal experience that when Leo went into what was referred to as 'the void' there was the risk of him dragging down all the other personalities with him, leaving him in a catatonic state for anywhere from minutes to hours - sometimes days at a time.

She also knew that both Orado and Leon were factual, blunt, and to the point, so if either one of them were going to answer any questions at all they had to be simple, straight-forward, and to the point without any of the fluff thrown in often referred to as 'pleasantries' or 'polite conversation'. So overlooking Leon's dig at the person who he was really a part of, she commented:

"According to the mystic scans we performed, Leo aged ten months in the time frame his brothers aged two, indicating he was in the prison dimension for eight months."

"Give her a cookie, she can do simple math," Leon replied as his sarcastic way of saying she was right.

Since Leo had already dipped into the void, Leon knew there was no time left for him to have a little 'fun' while the main person was away, so without another word he slipped back into the mindscape and let himself succumb to the void as well, and Orado took his place. Which was indicated by Leo's shift in body language - going back to tensing his body and crossing his arms. But when he opened his mouth to say something he too was pulled under - along Cleo and the rest of Leo's internal personalities - leaving one alone in his conscious mindscape.

Once again Leo's body language abruptly shifted as the kind-hearted Penelope took the front. His entire body language softened, she uncrossed his arms, and even offered a small smile to the one who was helping her dear Leo come to terms with the terrible atrocities he had to suffer through that led all of this happening to him.

"I need to sit," Penelope told Jocelyn in a soft, tender tone of voice that took on a slightly feminine tone - as much as Leo's vocal cords would allow - because this personality took on a female persona.

She was also a manifestation of all that was kind and good inside of Leo.

His empathy

tender compassion

love

kindness

and loyalty

all rolled into one gentle person.

Penelope sat hunched over a little with Leo's elbow on the arm of the chair, his hand covering his forehead and part of his face, and his head down with his eyes closed.

She also tugged on the bottom of Leo's blue hoodie to cover his legs a little more because she was by far the most modest of the bunch and didn't like that Leo (and his other personalities) chose to wear a much-too-short (in her opinion) pair of black shorts that didn't in any way cover his legs and also didn't as much as come down below the bottom lip of his shell - meaning it looked to others like he wasn't wearing anything at all below the waist.

"Who do I have now?" Jocelyn sweetly inquired.

"Pe . . .nelope, but..."

Penelope groaned, fighting against the pull dragging her under with Leo and the rest of his shattered mind.

"I'm . . . slipping . . . into the void. Mmmn . . . I don't have much time left."

Jocelyn tried to help by giving Penelope quiet to focus her thoughts on staying in the front of Leo's mind, hopeful she would be able to pull Leo out of the void - or at least to the edge of it so they didn't all go catatonic. But once this persona realized that would be impossible, she mustered her mental energy to ask: "Is Leo here alone?"

Not that she didn't remember Raph accompanied Leo to this appointment, but she wasn't sure if he was still there in the waiting room.

"Raphael came as well, he told me he'll stay in the waiting room until Leo's done," Jocelyn reassured.

"Good," came the one-word reply - but only because she didn't have the mental energy she needed to tack her usual 'thank you' on to the end.

At that confirmation that Leo would be cared for externally by his big brother - that he would be safe away from home without someone taking the lead inside his mind - Penelope gave in to the pull dragging her under into the void.

And everything went dark.

🔹🔹🔹

Leo didn't know how long he had gone catatonic this time, the only frame of reference he had was that the familiar smell of freshly cooked eggs and bacon helped to rouse him back from the void, and that he was sitting at the kitchen table when he regained awareness, blinking the world into focus.

And there in front of him was a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns.

The conversation abruptly hushed when Leo's family realized he was mentally there with them now, and after blinking away the hazy fog around his vision he gazed around at his siblings - his three turtle brothers and honorary human brother - who were one and all sitting with him at the table, each of them with a plate full of similar breakfast items, indicating their meal had just begun.

Pushing through the dazed confusion and grogginess of leaving the void, Leo came to realize they were eating breakfast, which meant they were either having one of their rare breakfast-for-supper evening meals or he had succumb to the void for the better part of a day and into the night.

"Good, you're awake I won't have to tube feed you now," was the first bland greeting he received from his family - that being his factually-minded twin Donnie who himself dealt with stress by hiding behind a facade of scientific data collecting and who at the moment was clicking on his wrist tech, inputting the time his traumatized brother mentally returned from his dissociative state of mental inactivity to add to the list.

Leo instantly felt self-conscious from that callous comment and Mikey roughly elbowed Donnie for his rude remark, prompting the softshell to stare at him while shrugging his shoulders and miming the word 'what' because he didn't understand what he did wrong.

That whole interaction combined by the uncomfortableness of being under eight sets of eyes made Cleo protectively rise to the surface.

Cleo being the most insecure, flighty aspect of Leo's personality who was basically a personification of his fears, anxieties, and intense emotions all rolled into one.

The one who was also super sensitive to lights, sounds, movements - any sensory input Leo's brain had to process.

She was also the one who felt every residual crack in Leo's shell from Krang Prime's torturous attack, who felt the acid rise in Leo's throat from the anxiety and pain of too many eyes, too bright lights, too many scents, too much movement too much toomuchTOOMUCH!!!

And just to help tip him over the edge, Leo was at the breakfast table wearing his black shorts and nothing else.

Shorts!?

Leo wore his pyjamas to the breakfast table!

His pyjamas! Not his shorts!!!

He wore his pyjamas because he was supposed to wake up, scroll through short videos in bed on his phone, eat breaky with his fam, and then change after he showered - after breaky!

They all knew that! (Or if they didn't they should have!!)

But judging by the clean sense to his skin and the faint scent of Leo's raspberry body wash, someone had showered him during his catatonic state not too long ago.

"Where's my pyjamas?"

The shy voice coming out sounding like a barely audible whisper stopped the conversation that was directed his way but had faded into the background in Leo's mind because of the internal torment he was currently dealing with.

With a big, toothy, nervous grin Raph asked his little brother: "Whaaat was that buddy?"

Leo - or rather Cleo - snapped his head up to glare at Raph.

"My pyjamas my pyjamas WHERE ARE MY PYJAMAS!!?"

Everybody tensed at that sudden outburst, worried the food, dishes, anything within reach was about to go flying.

Donnie pulled his plate closer and protectively shielded it from his unpredictable brother with his arm before stuffing food in his face as quickly as possible before Leo inevitably turned violent and smashed every plate, glass, and mug on the table.

"Uhhh, you showered and..." "NONONONOOOOO!!!"

Cleo grasped the sides of Leo's head so tightly his nails were digging in, threatening to draw blood.

"We shower AFTER breakfast! AFTER!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT YET!!!" Cleo screamed at Raph, with Leo's voice sounding hoarse as she gave him a sore throat from the intensity and volume of her words.

"I'll get them for you!" Mikey instantly offered. He jumped up to zip out of the room and Leo sat back in his chair, lowered his hands, blinked a few times in quick succession, and then looked in shock at his family who were all staring at him expectantly with their mouths agape and their eyes wide open.

"What did I do wrong?" Leo asked them fearfully, having no memory of the past few minutes when Cleo was in control that ended by Mikey doing the simple but significant task of offering to fix this whole mental breakdown by getting Leo's pjs for him.

The only thing he knew was that he blinked into awareness from the void, looked down at himself to see that he wasn't wearing his pyjamas, and then the next thing he knew his family were all staring at him like they had seen a ghost.

Raph was about to reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong (this time), but when he reached a hand out to rest it on top of his brother's Leo pulled away, jumped to his feet, blurted out: "I don't wanna know," and high-tailed it to his room - ignoring Mikey along the way who was heading back to the kitchen carrying his stripped blue pyjamas for some reason.

Mikey said something to him on his way past - or at least Leo thought he said something to him, his little brother might have been taking to himself, he wasn't paying attention. Instead he ran into his bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him - the one he asked Donnie to install sometime after the invasion in place of the blue curtain he previously had for a door, so he could be afforded more privacy when he needed it.

Leo proceeded to hide away in his room for the rest of that day, doom scrolling on his phone and hiding under his blankets any time anyone came in - not even leaving to eat, so Mikey kindly brought his meals to him.

Again.

Because this wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the traumatized turtle whose life had been completely turned upside down and who just wanted to be normal again.

🔹🔹🔹

Notes:

There's more background info on Leo's alternate personalities you can find in the masterpost linked below.

I don't know if I'm ever going to write a full au based on Leo having dissociative identity disorder, as of now the plan is to post a few short stories here on tumblr as I write them 💚🐢

🔹🔹🔹

🔹What D.I.D I Do Wrong? Masterpost

🔹My Main Masterpost

[srtaambrosina]

Querido futuro amor da minha vida,

Eu oro por você todos os dias.

Embora possamos não nos conhecer nesse momento, eu tenho orado todos os dias pela sua vida, pela sua segurança e pela sua vitória.

Espero que nós não demoremos a ficarmos prontos um para o outro, que sejamos pacientes, amorosos e bondosos quando esse momento chegar.

Peço que perdoe meu passado, estou tentando dar o melhor de mim enquanto você não está aqui ao meu lado.

Prometo que perdoarei o seu, afinal, o passado é passado, e no presente importará o nós e o agora.

Tentarei honrar a Deus, honrar a mim e a você nessa temporada de espera.

Até o dia em que iremos nos reconhecer como grande amor.

Com carinho e votos de amor eterno,

Sua futura esposa.

[euandreiafreire]

A oração é uma arma poderosa! 💖 Orar por quem amamos é uma das maiores formas de amor que podemos oferecer. 💗🫶🏼✨

Se você concorda, deixe um AMÉM nos comentários e me diga como posso orar com você e por você hoje! Eu amo muito cada um de vocês! 🙌🏻💖🙏🏼

Estou aqui para orar por você e por quem você ama. Comente como posso ajudar ou envie-me uma mensagem direta.

Deus deseja que você seja feliz em todas as áreas da sua vida. Marque alguém que você ama e por quem tem orado.

Siga-me para mais conteúdos como este: @euandreiafreire 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻💗🫶🏼 #elaoraporele

[cazevedo6]

Querido Deus

Querido Deus

Querido Deus,

responda o chamado eu tenho tentado

contato a semanas a fio

e o frio da sua ausência machuca meu corpo

e me deixa vazio

Querido Deus,

ta ficando chato, nunca ser contactado

as mensagens só veem do meu lado.

Isso me deixa tão mal

No céu falta sinal?

Querido Deus,

aqui diz que está sendo enviado

só não sei se tem chegado

ou sé o senhor tem visualizado.

Me deixa tão confuso Qual o por que disso tudo?

Querido Deus,

será que eu tenho discado no número errado

por isso o senhor nunca viu,

nunca me ouviu

Querido Deus,

o que eu fiz de errado?

Me sinto descartado, ignorado

tem mesmo que ser assim?

o senhor não tem pena de mim?

Querido Deus,

me sinto solitário, jogado

e deixado ao relento

esquecido no tempo

e o mesmo tem passado

Querido Deus,

os dias não são mais ensolarados

tão sempre fechados,

nublados

o os fios dessa chuva

machuca esse corpo fraco

Querido Deus,

qual foi meu pecado?

Foi ter duvidado ou ter abandonado

o senhor no passado?

Saiba que a culpa

escorre como chuva e machuca

esse corpo tão fraco

Querido Deus,

eu tenho orado, chamado

e implorado .

Será que não dá pra enviar

alguém pra me salvar?

Querido Deus, eu tenho tentado

me ajoelhado e rezado

mas não é suficiente?

Sinto que a religião não me pertence,

meu Deus querido, lhe sou insuficiente?

Querido Deus

Seu não tão querido filho

não é bom o bastante

perante aos outros praticantes

perante aos teus filhos mais fieis

esse aqui és insignificante!

Seu não tão querido filho,

tem cedido ao diabo

sempre tentado, sempre derrotado

perdido num limbo

dos seus próprios vícios

és pobre coitado

Seu não tão querido filho,

já ta bem crescido

sabe a diferença entre certo e errado

e ainda sim, tem falhado

não tem essa de coitado

és só um pecador fracasso.

Meu querido Deus

perdoe meus pecados!

Seu querido filho

pedindo pra ser condenado!

Mas,

meu querido Deus

por favor eu tenho...

tem faltado a igreja aos

tem debochado dos cânticos e dos feriados

tem julgado

tem pecado

tem ignorado os mal afortunados

não tem ajudado as pessoas

e ainda pede coisas?

Seu querido filho é um ingrato.

Querido Deus,

não é desse jeito, sei que não sou perfeito

eu entendo que cometo erros

mas nesse momento

me escute...

Esse pirralho maldito

usando o imperativo

como se ele fosse um subordinado

mas, seu querido Deus,

não é atendente de recados.

Seu não tão querido filho

é um hipócrita do caralho

julgando os crentes que

só te procuram quando querem algo

Estando exatamente ai

ajoelhado no chão do seu quarto

chamando por ti.

Querido Deus,

eu tenho tentado, clamado

rezado, orado e tentando contato a semanas a fio

Seu querido filho

nem acredita nisso

ele só tem tentado

porq é um “desgraçado”

ta perdido, e desesperado pra ser salvo

Um ateu chamando por Deus?

Meu Deus, que texto engraçado!

É verdade.

Meu querido Deus,

eu tenho tentando acreditar

que lá no fundo ainda posso ser salvo

desamparado e a muito tempo tenho pensado

em desistir

mesmo sabendo o que me aguarda lá em baixo

mas lá no fundo, eu não quero ir

lá o fundo, quero estar aqui

lá no fundo, quero sum acreditar em ti

lá no fundo, queria ter a sua graça em mim

mesmo lá o fundo, achando que não sou tão digno assim.

Mesmo cheio de pecado

lá no fundo, todo mundo quer ser salvo

por isso, meu querido Deus, escute os chamados

que eu tenho tentando

contato a semanas a fio...

Cazevedo6

[conanstars]

Hello people. I'm straying a little from my content to convey an important message to you. I know that many will not care and will skip this message, but I ask that you at least take it seriously. I was never a religious person, I grew up committing many sins and without having a good relationship with Jesus. When I grew up, I realized the importance of accepting Jesus in my life. Jesus forgave all my sins, even the dirtiest and most seemingly unforgivable. I still haven't managed to get out of sin 100%, it's been difficult for me, but there's no way I'm going to give up. I have felt the importance of God and prayed every night, reading a little of the Bible every day and telling my "testimony". After I read the Bible, I had another thought about Jesus and my point of view changed completely. I realized the size of the love he has for us, sinners, who do not deserve the love of Christ. If you were looking for a sign or simply found this post, say a prayer. We are close to the return of Jesus, we have little time until he returns. repent of your sins, you have no idea of the love that Christ has for me, for you and for us! Live in God's ways and change. Thank you if you read this far, I didn't post this for nothing.

portuguese version:

Olá pessoal. Estou me desviando um pouco do meu conteúdo para transmitir uma mensagem importante para vocês. Sei que muitos não vão se importar e vão pular essa mensagem, mas peço que pelo menos levem isso a sério. Nunca fui uma pessoa religiosa, cresci cometendo muitos pecados e sem ter um bom relacionamento com Jesus. Quando cresci, percebi a importância de aceitar Jesus em minha vida. Jesus perdoou todos os meus pecados, mesmo os mais sujos e aparentemente imperdoáveis. Ainda não consegui sair 100% do pecado, tem sido difícil para mim, mas não vou desistir de jeito nenhum. Tenho sentido a importância de Deus e orado todas as noites, lendo um pouco da Bíblia todos os dias e contando meu “testemunho”. Depois de ler a Bíblia, pensei novamente sobre Jesus e meu ponto de vista mudou completamente. Percebi o tamanho do amor que ele tem por nós, pecadores, que não merecemos o amor de Cristo. Se você estava procurando uma placa ou simplesmente encontrou este post, faça uma oração. Estamos próximos da volta de Jesus, temos pouco tempo até que ele volte. arrependa-se dos seus pecados, você não tem ideia do amor que Cristo tem por mim, por você e por nós! Viva nos caminhos de Deus e mude. Obrigado se você leu até aqui, não postei isso à toa.

[souapaixonadasworld]

Como superar um sonho realizado, que se desfez como um castelo de areia diante da maré da realidade? Como lidar com a ausência de alguém que parecia ser o príncipe encantado, o Ben de "Descendentes" da minha vida real? Encontrei meu "príncipe", e por um tempo, foi mágico, incrivelmente maravilhoso. Só de cruzar o nosso olhar, meu sorriso florescia, um sol radiante rompendo as nuvens de um dia cinzento. Um dia péssimo se transformava em um conto de fadas com ele ao meu lado. A sua presença era um bálsamo, uma poção mágica que curava todas as minhas dores.

E então, a distância. Essa cruel distância, imposta pelo destino, por um acaso do universo, ou talvez pela minha própria falta de fé. Por que essa separação, Deus? Eu orei, sim, pedi aos céus para que nos mantivesse unidos, para que esse sonho não se desfizesse. Talvez eu não tenha orado o suficiente, talvez minhas preces tenham sido fracas, inaudíveis aos ouvidos divinos. A culpa me consome, uma sombra que me acompanha em cada passo.

Lembro-me do brilho nos seus olhos, do calor do seu sorriso, do toque suave de suas mãos. Esses momentos, gravados em minha memória como um filme precioso, me assombram e me confortam ao mesmo tempo. São lembranças que me alimentam, que me dão forças para enfrentar a dor da separação. Mas são também lembranças que me machucam, que me lembram do que eu perdi, do que eu poderia ter, do que poderia ser.

A superação é um processo lento, doloroso, cheio de altos e baixos. Há dias em que a saudade me sufoca, em que as lágrimas rolam sem parar, em que a dor é tão intensa que parece insuportável. Há dias em que a esperança se esvai, em que a vontade de desistir é avassaladora. Mas há também dias em que a força retorna, em que a fé se reaviva, em que a esperança volta a brilhar.

Tento me manter ocupada, tento preencher o vazio com novas atividades, com novos amigos, com novos sonhos. Tento encontrar a paz em meio à tempestade, a serenidade em meio ao caos. Tento me amar, cuidar de mim, valorizar minha própria companhia. Tento me concentrar no presente, no agora, sem me perder nas lembranças do passado, sem me afogar nas projeções do futuro.

Sei que o tempo cura todas as feridas, mas o tempo também pode ser um cruel algoz. Ele pode nos fazer esquecer, pode nos fazer superar, mas também pode nos deixar com cicatrizes profundas, marcas indeléveis na alma. E eu não sei se conseguirei superar completamente essa perda, se conseguirei esquecer completamente esse amor. Mas sei que preciso tentar, que preciso seguir em frente, que preciso construir um novo futuro, um futuro sem ele, mas um futuro meu, um futuro que me faça feliz. E talvez, um dia, eu consiga encontrar um novo príncipe, um novo amor, um novo sonho. Mas esse sonho, esse amor, esse príncipe, será diferente. Será um sonho construído na realidade, um amor baseado na confiança, um príncipe que estará sempre ao meu lado, sem a crueldade da distância.

[portrasdaspalavras]

DEVOCIONAL: Qual nosso destino quando escolhemos servir ao pecado? Nosso destino seria a morte, se um dia alguém não tivesse orado por nós e não tivesse nos levado a conhecer a Deus.

Hoje conhecemos e escolhemos viver para servir e agradar ao Senhor da melhor maneira que nos é possível. Hoje sabemos que nosso fim esta na vida eterna ao lado de Deus!

- Que venhamos a ser agentes do Senhor, orando e levando mais vidas a Ele.

- Um dia alguém me alcançou, hoje quero alcançar vidas para Ele também. 🔥

[reinato]

Devocional da Mulher

Amor perfeito

Orando por estranhos

Orem sem cessar. 1ª Tessalonicenses 5:17

Todos os dias, eu oro por estranhos. Isso prepara o terreno para que novas amizades surjam. Deixe-me explicar sobre a minha oração. Há muito tempo, decidi pedir a Deus que Ele me conduzisse a novos amigos. Eu orei assim: “Obrigada, Senhor, pelos estranhos que ainda não conheci e que se tornarão meus amigos.” Como resultado, meu cofrinho de amizades está transbordando.

A vida é curta. Uma jovem amiga me disse que não podemos escolher a nossa família, mas podemos escolher nossos amigos. Isso aconteceu um dia depois de eu ter orado com a mãe dela no hospital, após a morte inesperada de seu pai. Ela e o marido eram dois estranhos pelos quais eu havia orado antes mesmo de nos conhecermos, assim como aconteceu com os pais dela. É sempre maravilhoso conhecer as pessoas que Deus traz para minha vida, elas são como presentes preciosos.

Meu marido e eu voltamos para o estado da Flórida, nos Estados Unidos, em 2014, depois de ficarmos quatro anos e meio morando fora. Embora tenhamos feito bons amigos e vivido experiências agradáveis em outros lugares, eu sentia falta da Flórida. Sou uma daquelas pessoas afetadas pelo transtorno afetivo sazonal, também conhecido como TAS. Não há muitos dias cinzentos na Flórida. Até mesmo as chuvas quase diárias de verão são seguidas por um sol brilhante. Uma das coisas mais gostosas de voltar foram as visitas dos nossos amigos da Flórida e dos nossos muitos amigos que vinham fugindo do frio dos outros estados que nos deram as boas-vindas de volta ao Estado Ensolarado.

Será que “orar sem cessar” significa não fazer nada além de orar vinte e quatro horas por dia? Se fosse assim, provavelmente alguém nos levaria ao psiquiatra. Essa expressão significa que devemos manter uma atitude de oração, sabendo que Deus está nos ouvindo. Meus dias são melhores por causa dos amigos. Eles contribuem para minha integridade como pessoa e são uma bênção. Meu marido e eu oramos para ter esses amigos e continuamos a orar por eles. Eles são uma extensão da nossa família. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, uma psiquiatra de renome mundial, estava certa quando comparou as pessoas a vitrais: “Elas cintilam e brilham quando tem sol, mas quando a escuridão se instala, sua verdadeira beleza só é revelada se houver uma luz interna.” Portanto, oremos por estranhos, pois, ao fazê-lo, eles se tornam aqueles que chamamos, individualmente, de “meu amigo”.

Betty Kossick

[letrasdemaye]

Cuando el hombre hizo lo peor… JESÚS ORÓ -- no por la justicia -- sino por la misericordia. Él rogó que Sus enemigos no tuvieran que pagar “la justa consecuencia” de sus malas acciones. Y Jesús oró, no después de que Sus heridas hubieran sanado, sino mientras estas heridas todavía estaban abiertas.

Palabras de perdón salieron de los labios de Jesús, mientras que los clavos eran clavados en Su cuerpo, mientras el dolor era de una intensidad terrible, y mientras la angustia de Jesús, era tremendamente intensa. ÉL ORÓ… ¡cuando la cruz fue puesta dentro del hueco en la tierra… ¡con un golpetazo!

Cuando el dolor era inimaginable, Jesús, que era la víctima del crimen más horrendo de la historia… ¡oró por los criminales! En Getsemaní, Jesús oró, Padre mío, si es posible, haz que pase de mí esta copa. Pero que no sea como yo lo quiero, sino como lo quieres tú.

¡La copa le fue dada a Jesús por Su Padre! Su objetivo era “de comprar a la gente para Dios de cada tribu, y lenguaje, y gente y nación.”

Esto significaba que el Hijo seria crucificado, y se volvería “pecado” por la humanidad. ¡Jesús bebería de la copa del sufrimiento! Esta copa compraría el perdón… ¡por el cual Jesús había orado!

¿Podemos decir “Padre” cuando nos están afligiendo? ¿Podemos orar por el perdón de aquellos que están tratando de destruirnos? ¿Tenemos la suficiente fe “para dejar la justicia” en las manos de nuestro Padre Celestial?

Romanos 12:19 dice, No busquemos vengarnos, amados míos. Mejor dejemos que actúe la ira de Dios, porque está escrito: «Mía es la venganza, Yo pagaré, dice el Señor. EN LA CRUZ VEMOS EL AUTOCONTROL DE UN HOMBRE… ¡DE JESUS! que tenía el poder de destruir, pero escogió perdonar. ¡SI! ¡ESCOGIÓ PERDONAR!

En estas palabras, ¡encontramos la esperanza de nuestra propia salvación! Si Jesús se hubiera bajado de la cruz… ¡Su oración no hubiera sido contestada! Las personas que fueron salvadas hace dos mil años, fueron los primeros frutos, anticipando el día en que nosotros “que somos los gentiles” ¡seremos bienvenidos al reino!

¿Podría Dios haber perdonado “a estas personas” sin que ellos pidieran perdón? ¡NO! La oración no era para aquellos que no querían ser perdonados, sino para aquellos que buscaban el perdón. Ni tampoco era una oración general, dando un perdón a todos lo que estaban involucrados en la crucifixión. ¡NO!

Esta era la oración “para aquellos individuos específicos” a quienes Dios salvaría. No tenemos ninguna evidencia de que Jesús “alguna vez orara” por el mundo en general, sino que oró por aquellos que todavía no eran parte de Su familia, ¡pero que lo serían algún día!

¿Debemos perdonar a aquellos que piden perdón, aun cuando dudemos de su sinceridad o no confiemos en su motivación? La respuesta es ¡SI! Porque nosotros no podemos ver el corazón humano.

Jesús les dijo a los discípulos, que ellos tenían que estar dispuestos a perdonar muchas veces – setenta veces por siete – si es que querían entender el perdón de Dios.

Sin embargo – Y ESTO ES BIEN IMPORTANTE – el perdón es “muy diferente” a la reconciliación. Por ejemplo, Una esposa puede perdonar a su esposo adúltero, pero no significa que ella tenga que confiar “ciegamente” en su forma de vivir. ¡NO! Debe de haber consejería, responsabilidad, y por supuesto, el pasar del tiempo.

¡Recuperar la confianza será un proceso largo y difícil! ¿Debemos perdonar a aquellos que no nos piden perdón? ¿Si Dios “no perdona” a aquellos que se niegan a pedirle perdón, ¿por qué debemos perdonar nosotros?

La respuesta es -- que aun cuando no nos pidan perdón -- debemos de perdonar para liberarnos “nosotras mismas” de la amargura… ¡y entregarle a Dios la persona que nos ha herido! En las relaciones humanas, cuando se pide perdón, la reconciliación “no es necesariamente” una cosa segura.

El objetivo es siempre la reconciliación, ¡porque es la unión de dos corazones divididos! Pero cuando no se pide perdón, la persona ofendida debe de escoger “perdonar��, y el pecado cometido por esa persona, se lo debe de entregar a Dios. Si no, el dolor y el enojo destruirán nuestra mente… ¡y afligiremos al Espíritu Santo!

¡El culpable ya ha causado suficiente dolor! La única manera de liberarnos “de la influencia continua “de él o ella” es de perdonar… ¡entregándole el asunto a Dios! Cuando el pecado no se toma en serio, ¡entonces el perdón se recibe a la ligera! ¡Hasta el arrepentimiento sincero, se lo debemos entregar a Dios “a diario!”

El primer clamor de Jesús en la cruz “HACE ECO A UNA PALABRA” -- sin la cual no podemos ser salvas -- ¡EL PERDÓN! Entonces y ahora, el perdón “se concede gratuitamente” a los que lo piden. Gracias a Dios, la muerte de Jesús hizo que la respuesta a Su oración, Padre, perdónalos…” ¡SE HICIERA REALIDAD!

Carmen Camino.

[alasdepaloma]

Me tiemblan las manos por escribirle, señor, lo estoy extrañando más que nunca.

Esta noche el viento se asemeja al de ese día donde, sobre aquella cima, contemplábamos las luces de las casas que se levantaban allá a lo lejos entre las montañas. El piano blanco entonaba esa melodía que ya era nuestro himno. Usted me abrazaba por la espalda y besaba sutilmente mi cuello, su aliento entibiaba hasta mi más gélido rincón y esta alma que nació fría, tan fría que usted ha sido y será el único que logre eso que nadie jamás ha logrado ni logrará. Lo extraño amado mío. Lo anhelan mi piel, mis labios, mis oídos, mi locura… la inquietud de mi espíritu, y sí… tenga la seguridad que ha sido usted el único que ha comprendido mis ansiedades, mis perversiones, mis demencias sobre todo aquellas que nacen del centro de mi placer; usted jamás juzgó eso de mí… Me sentía libre en usted. Era ese páramo donde yo podía desnudar a mi inconsciente y dejar de reprimir mis deseos más bajos… Oh, cuánto lo he necesitado… Cuánto lo he soñado… Cuánto me he querido reflejar nuevamente en esos ojos color de miel, cuánto he orado por volver a sentir la suavidad de sus dedos que como pincel delicado se deslizaba por el lienzo de mis mejillas. Y bailar… bailar con sus manos apretando mi cintura, con sus labios haciéndole el amor a mi boca, con su aliento derramado en mil sonrisas… Mi señor, mi vida, mi amor imposible. Usted y yo jamás requerimos de un papel para sabernos amados, ni tampoco fue indispensable la fractura que emana de un divorcio, es que, hay quienes se aman más allá de papeles y normas, las almas que nacieron para amarse aún lejanas no dejan de llamarse. Y hoy, hoy… Mi fulgor adorado, sé que me piensa, sé que me anhela, sé que está trémulo como yo lo estoy, por hacerme suya y sosegar sus ansias.

—PalomaZerimar.

[shaotie]

What D.I.D I Do Wrong? - Leo's Personalities

Please feel free to ignore this - I wanted to throw my world building for a wip I might never finish on here so I have an online backup copy.

If you are interested, this is for a post-movie rottmnt Leo angst au where he developed dissociative personality disorder (previously known as split personality disorder) because of the trauma he experienced in the prison dimension.

Leo

the whole, the person, the sum of all his personalities combined, the one who went into the prison dimension and came back out shattered on the inside.

Most of the time Leo is either:

actively in control

sharing control in tandem with another personality

passively aware of his surroundings when he's taking a back seat to his other personalities (either willingly or not).

Sometimes another persona will come to the front and share control with Leo (whether he wants them to or not) and other times he will choose to back away and let them take control (especially when he's feeling scared or vulnerable).

He has the ability to push to the front again and regain control of himself for all his personalities except the two dominate ones - Orado and Cleo. But in addition to this Leon sometimes takes advantage of his mentally unwell state and takes control of the front when Leo isn't in the right frame of mind to come out of hiding and stop him.

If Orado or Cleo take full control, Leo is forced out of the front and may be protectively pushed back into the far recesses of his subconscious mind where he is unaware of what is happening around him or even of the passage of time. This state is not to be confused with slipping into the void, which is a full-on catatonic state.

Other personalities may be in control when Leo hides away in the void but if he doesn't bring himself out of there eventually that state will drag all his personas down with him because they need him in order to function.

When this extreme form of disassociation happens it can last anywhere from minutes to hours and in some cases days - though the further he progresses in his therapy the less often he is catatonic for days at a time.

When Leo goes catatonic his family have to take on responsibility caring for his needs. They are able to move and manipulate his body as if it is a doll that stays in whatever position it is put in (for example he can be made to sit in a chair or lay in his bed). However when he's in this state he is unable to perform basic functions required for life - such as eating and drinking - which means he must be tube-fed and hooked up to an IV for fluids.

Certain familiar, comforting sounds or smells can pull him from the void so his family has gotten in the habit of pushing him through as much of a normal daily routine as they can manage in the hopes something will rouse him back to consciousness.

Meanwhile Leo had taken to living by as strict of a routine as he can muster given his current state of mind, to grasp onto any sort of semblance of control he has over his life after having lost all control for the eight months he was trapped in the prison dimension - where Krang Prime intentionally kept him alive for the purpose of torturing him physically, verbally, and mentally.

When Orado or Cleo takes control to the point of pushing Leo into his subconscious, once he is permitted back he has no memory of what happened during his time away - to him minutes or hours passed by as if it was nothing more than a blink of his eyes or as if he was teleported into the future.

Because love and loyalty for his family and his hero's heart is such a primary core to Leo's personality, that transcends all his other personalities except one. In other words his figurative heart provides a baseline that his personas respect to at least some degree.

Orado

One of Leo's dominate personalities who occupies the left side of Leo's mind, but is capable of inhabiting both sides.

He is a personification of Leo's confident, self-assured side who is mostly a blunt, to-the-point, facts-and-logic persona, and presents himself when he feels the need to step in and protect Leo from harm - whether real or perceived.

Because of his cocky attitude, sense of superiority, and his strong desire to protect Leo by being his strength, Orado is often difficult to get along with and refuses to share any information that he decides may be detrimental to Leo's wellbeing, whether this is true or not (ex. he repeatedly refuses to answer questions from Leo's therapist, or provides vague comments that don't answer anything or are only half truths).

Deep down Orado has a base love for Leo's brothers (including Casey who was unofficially adopted into the family), his sister, and his dad, so he would never harm them, but he is distrustful of everybody and hard to get along with.

Orado is a culmination of everything Leo's subconscious feels makes him strong and as the main dominant aspect of Leo's fractured mind he is the only one who can access Leo's mystic powers without needing Leo to willingly and purposefully give that to him; which means he is more than capable of doing whatever he feels is necessary to protect Leo by being his mental/emotional/physical strength - even if it means resorting to acts Leo himself disapproves of or is morally against.

(This makes life a little too interesting for Leo's family when Orado pairs with the self-indulgent Leon)

Being a hero at heart though means Orado would never outright harm another (though scaring someone out of their pants is not out of the question if it falls into his goal of protecting Leo).

Although often working closely together in the front with the other dominate personality, Orado and Cleo mostly have a hostile relationship because Orado sees logically how Cleo's over-dramatic, emotional way of protecting Leo really results in harming him and those around him, while Cleo believes Orado holds back from lashing out when she thinks he should do so to protect Leo's best interests.

Orado is the one who takes control and gets Leo out of potentially dangerous situations when he's frozen from fear, or gives him the courage he needs to heroically stand his ground and fight back.

Cleo

Another of Leo's two dominate personality, second to Orado.

A personification of Leo's fear, inhabiting and dominating practically the entire right side of his mind.

She often shares control with Penelope - who balances her out, but if Leo's anxiety mounts to outright panic she is strengthened and can take full control, even though she is normally secondary to Orado.

Like Orado, Cleo is capable of pushing Leo out and taking full control of his body. She also sometimes forces Leo into his subconscious where he had no knowledge of what is happening around him or the passage of time while she is in control.

She is a culmination of Leo's anxieties and fears who uses anger and violence to push away perceived threats and get what she wants, making her the most volatile and violent of Leo's personalities (but not necessarily the most dangerous).

She comes out in times of desperation when all other forms of protection from perceived threats have either failed or she feels Leo and his other personalities are unable to properly deal with a perceived threat - at which point she comes roaring out like a fireball, quickly and effectively getting the job done; the job being protecting Leo at all costs by aggressively pushing away any triggers (events, comments, places, people, etc.) that caused him to feel an intense spike of fear.

Love and loyalty for Leo's family combined with his hero's heart and her close friendship with Penelope balances her enough that she doesn't intentionally set out to physically harm anyone, but due to the violent and unpredictable nature of her intense outbursts it is not uncommon for someone (sometimes Leo himself) to get caught in the crossfires of her rage, resulting in possible serious harm - especially when chairs, plates, weapons anything in her reach goes flying.

Often after coming back from Cleo being in charge, Leo is met with a messy room full of broken items and horrified faces all staring at him, prompting him to ask the question: "What did I do wrong?" (even though he doesn't really want to know the answer) because he erroneously takes responsibility for Cleo's actions even though it wasn't really him in control.

When prolonged states of heightened fear, anxiety, or sensory overstimulation prompts her to act up, Cleo unintentionally leaves a section of Leo's mind wired all the time, making him either lack sleep or unable to obtain a restful sleep because when she's alight with anxious energy she isn't able to sleep at all, meaning a section of Leo's mind is always awake - 24/7 - which runs him down and can trigger massive panic attacks; but because his brain is wired and overactive he is unable to slip into the void as an escape until circumstances change and Cleo has calmed down significantly. So when she is overstimulated Leo is at the greatest risk of losing what sanity he has.

Tranquilizers, sedatives, etc. have absolutely no effect on Cleo, when she is overwhelmed the only thing that can calm her down is relaxation techniques combined with keeping Leo's sensory stimulation to a minimum for however many days it takes the Cleo side of his brain to calm down again (ex. dimming the lights, reducing sounds by talking quietly and not playing music, keeping Leo at home, etc). It tooks his family months to figure that out, but now that they know it they are able to help calm Leo's mind within a couple of days.

Cleo doesn't want to be awake all the time when she's wired but she isn't able to bring herself down and winds up driving herself crazy - screaming in Leo's head and making him harm himself when she's in control as a physical release from the emotional torment.

Because of the extremely large amount of energy she consumes because of her anxiety, Leo needs to keep a steady diet of healthy fats to help her stay nourished, but he often reaches for quick, easy solutions that involves consuming unhealthy fats, which throws Penelope out of balance because she requires a steady supply of nutrients to function properly.

Cleo isn't supposed to be occupying the right side of Leo's mind and she isn't supposed to take so much control of his life - rather she is supposed to balance Orado's logical, factual persona - but Leo's fears push her to the front time and time again. As a result she is often overworked and stressed out, feeding into Leo's anxiety and keeping him up at night.

Penelope

Inhabits the left side of Leo's mind, behind Orado, and a section of the back middle and right.

She is a manifestation of Leo's tenderness, love, compassion, and empathy rolled into one personality whose emotions are governed by logic and sensibility.

Although not a dominant persona Penelope is the largest of all Leo's personalities, and can help provide some balance and calmness to Cleo if her needs are properly met. But if Leo neglects his emotional or nutritional needs, Penelope lacks the energy she needs to help him and his other personalities, resulting in her either sleeping more than usual or being in a groggy, sleepy, low-energy state when she's awake, which in turn amplifies Leo's anxieties and Cleo's fears because she isn't able to put in the work needed to balance them out.

Penelope is the main spokesperson for Leo when he feels the need to hide away but wants to share and be cooperative with those who are trying to help him.

Penelope is kind and soft-spoken, and despite the intensity of the love she feels for Leo and others her thinking is logic oriented partly because of her balance and partly because of her close proximity to and amicable relationship with the logical Orado.

She is not a dominate personality but she was the very first one to present herself as a distinct persona in the prison dimension before Leo's mind fully shattered.

Penelope never tries to take control, instead she comes to the front to lend her strength and calmness to Leo when he needs her help, and she willingly waits her turn for Leo to push her to the front to take control (although she can take control when Leo's hiding in his subconscious, if Orado is agreeable with it)

Often when Penelope comes to the front it is to work in tandem with Leo, but she allows him to push her to the front and use her as a calm, passive shield to hide behind. When she's in the front on Leo's left, if Cleo's in the right frame of mind to do so she will occupy the front of Leo's right side (but more as a passive observer) because Penelope is kind to her and they have an amicable relationship - which means Penelope is one of the few personas Cleo feels safe being with, so her coming to the front gives Cleo an opportunity to view the world around her without giving in to fear and resorting to a violent melt-down.

Because of her calm disposition, logical side, and intuitive nature, Penelope is better able to articulate Leo's thoughts and feelings than even he is, making her the best aspect of Leo's personality for his family and therapist to talk to and find out things about him that he's otherwise too afraid to share. She also understands more than anyone the importance of opening up and sharing and their connection to healing.

Like Leo's other personalities, Penelope's main goal - her purpose for existing as a distinct, unique person inside Leo's mind - is to protect him in her own way, but her desire to protect by fostering healing through honest communication and building loving relationships is often at odds with Leo's other protective personalities who use fear, intimidation, and control to protect him by pushing away any perceived threat/problem and the person causing the problem, or by closing off and refusing to let anyone in.

Although she is the biggest fraction of Leo's shattered mind she is not a dominate personality meaning that if at any point Leo, Cleo, or Orado doesn't like what she is sharing they are able to push her away from the front (either together or individually) and keep her in the back, where she comfortably lives most of the time.

Being the first and biggest distinct personality inside Leo's mind means Penelope is also the last persona to succumb to the void when Leo goes catatonic, so she has witnessed and remembers the most about his time in the prison dimension and the horrible things Krang Prime did to him therein.

She is also one of the only personalities who mostly only sleeps when Leo sleeps and is awake and aware in the background regardless of what aspect of his personality takes over. Because of her overall large size, not one of the other alter-egos are able to push her out of her home into the subconscious, meaning she is present for and remembers pretty much everything that happens, even things Leo himself has no memory of. But because she understands that memory regression is a coping strategy she never brings up any of the things she has witnessed when Leo was either shoved into his subconscious or went into the void.

Boo/Boo-Goo

Boo is primarily Leo's child-like traits rolled into one persona, but he is also a shape-shifter and instead of having a residence of his own inside Leo's fractured mind he spends his time flowing around and spending time with his other personalities, or uses his shape-shifting abilities to hide away from the more aggressive aspects of Leo's mind when they do something to frighten him. He is the only one of Leo's personalities who can travel freely around in the numbed outer-regions of Leo's subconscious.

When Boo is asked to come to the front Leo always hides right behind him, and Boo presents himself as an insecure little child who is afraid to make eye contact with anyone and fidgets a lot with his clothes. But he'll open up if presented with fun activities like toys to play with and he loves cuddling up in his dad's lap for story time - not comprehending that when he takes control he's actually in the body of a teenager and not a little child.

Boo is a part of Leo's mind that never grew up - a representative of the childhood Leo was robbed of in the sense that his big brother was forced to take on a fatherly role in his life because their dad was mostly absent. He is very insecure, feels unloved, and seeks out affection specifically from his dad as a reassurance that he hasn't been forgotten - basically he does his best to get Leo the parental love and affection he needed as a child but was denied, because of Splinter's crippling depression as a result of the trauma and injustices he faced in his life.

Because of Leo's childhood emotional neglect, Boo soaks up any displays of love and affection from Splinter like a dry sponge, but he is also easily hurt by his father's words and actions if his dad seems disinterested in spending time with him or says something his childish mind misunderstands and takes in a negative way.

When Boo is in control Orado and Cleo are usually either asleep or working in the background, but because of Boo's intense emotions, any amount of upset on his part can ignite Cleo like a spark in dry kindling, causing her to jump to the front with a vengeance, pushing both Boo and Leo so far back into his subconscious as her unhealthy way of protecting him at all costs that he is at risk of slipping into the void and going catatonic.

For this reason, during the rare opportunities when Boo presents himself Leo's family walk on eggshells when they realize the childish, emotional, easily hurt Boo is in the lead. But their efforts to encourage Leo to take the lead again always sparks fear in his heart, resulting in Cleo rearing her ugly head and accidentally pushing him into the void in her attempt to protect him - so they learned not to push Leo to take the lead and ride out their time with Boo in the front.

Inside of Leo's mind Boo is a little more adventurous than he is when he takes control, especially when he is in his black vapor-like state and his Boo-Goo dog-like state.

The smoke-like black vapor is ignored by the other personalities, allowing Boo to travel freely between different areas of Leo's mind. Doing this actually serves an important function in keeping Leo's neural pathways between personalities open so they don't separate completely from one another, thus aiding in his healing journey.

In his Boo-Goo goofy, silly, dog-like state, Boo resembles a cartoonish brown great dane with large black spots, and he gives Leo's inner self a sense of comic relief to help ease the internal suffering, but at the same time - like a real beloved pet dog - when he is tired and quiet he often lays with whatever personality is hurting the most, providing them with needed comfort by his presence.

Shadow

A background personality occupying a tiny portion of the right side of Leo's mind, behind Cleo and to the right of Penelope.

She is cramped in her space because Cleo takes up most all of this side of Leo's mind, but as his therapy progresses and his family helps him heal, his fears diminish and so does Cleo's size because she flows into Orado to balance his overly factual approach to life's problems, and from there adds to Penelope's strength (like was her original purpose before Leo's mind shattered into separate pieces). But whenever something happens that spikes Leo's fears anew, Cleo is completely drained out of her place with Orado and Penelope and brought back into her own spot on the right side of Leo's mind, thus forcing Shadow back into a tiny, cramped space.

Shadow was the part of Leo's inner self that overshadowed his thinking, bringing balance, harmony, and unity to his mind, but this vital aspect of Leo's mind was unfortunately weakened and unable to develop to full strength as a direct result of the emotional neglect on his dad's behalf in his childhood, so that the events in the prison dimension were too much for her to handle. When she lost her healing grip in his subconscious that was the moment his mind shattered into different pieces, and she split into two separate personas: Shadow and Boo (who combined with Leo's child-like traits to make a distinct persona).

Because of her small size she mostly occupies a portion in the back of Leo's mind and never presents herself in the front, nor does she take control of his body. Rather her job is a healer and since she is relegated to a figurative dark corner she mostly focuses her efforts on strengthening Boo - who is the only persona who can freely travel throughout all parts of Leo's broken mind. Without Shadow's strength feeding into Boo, he would wither and die from the extent of the hard work he has trying to keep Leo's mind from completely separating - meaning that the two of them are the ones who are stopping Leo from going totally insane and completely losing touch with reality as a result of the tortures he endured in the prison dimension.

The more Leo heals the smaller Cleo gets and the larger Shadow becomes, so that she is able to do more in the background to help Boo and aid the healing process from a neurological perspective.

Leonardo

He was the last personality to reveal himself and is a manifestation of the strength Leo drew from his dad as a child. But because Splinter was mostly an absent parent this smaller aspect of Leo's personality was hidden away in the numb areas of his mind and only became known a year after the invasion once there had been a degree of healing that allowed Boo-Goo to expand his pathways into regions of Leo's numbed outer mind.

Leonardo is a background figure - he never takes control of Leo's body, instead he is more of a wise mentor present in Leo's subconscious who only steps forward enough into the mindscape with the other personalities to offer fatherly advice and/or words of wisdom before slipping back into his quiet little home within Leo's numbed subconscious.

Leon

He is a personification of Leo's sarcasm, quick wit, dark humor, selfishness, narcissistic traits, and love of magic.

Although not a dominate personality he knows how to take advantage of Leo's weakened state by pushing to the front when Leo is hiding away and not in the right frame of mind to stop him.

Leon uses crude humor and derogatory, dehumanizing jokes at Leo's expense as his distorted way of 'helping' Leo by 'lightening the mood'.

He is also a manifestation of the wickedly diabolical things Krang Prime rooted in Leo's heart and mind through his verbal and emotional abuses, which is part of the reason why he tells hurtful jokes at Leo's expense.

Because he's rooted so deeply in Leo's broken heart when he takes control he's able to shut off Cleo's consciousness, and he also has a degree of manipulative control over Orado because of the way he's able to twist his words to make it appear as though he is logically looking out for Leo's best interests when in fact he's searching out his own selfish desires.

Leon is a textbook example of narcissist personality disorder - not possessing any comprehension or understanding of anyone else's emotions beyond his own, including Leo's - although because he is rooted in Leo's broken heart there is a degree of a protective nature he feels for Leo and Leon will aggressively defend Leo if someone else puts him down or makes disparaging remarks about him (to a murderous degree if Orado would ever allow it).

Leon's selfish tendencies combined with his dark humor, intelligence, and lack of morals potentially makes him the most dangerous of all of Leo's personalities - with Orado holding him back and taking over control if Leon is about to do something that crosses the line and could potentially cause serious harm to Leo or another soul.

When he takes control, Leon picks apart Leo's brothers, exposing flaws in their personalities and gets enjoyment out of playing on their weaknesses and fears. He feels he 'helps' Leo by boosting his own ego and what better way to do that then by putting others down? After all - whether physical or mental - strength always prevails.

By the time Leon establishes himself as being in control through crude humor and hurtful insults thrown Leo's way, Leo is usually so emotionally unwell that he's so far in his subconscious he's either on the edge of the void or near it, which means that although Leon isn't a dominate personality like Orado or Cleo, Leo often has either no memory or only a vague recollection of what happened when Leon is in charge. Which is perfect for Leon, because that gives him more freedom to focus on the external world around him and indulge in his selfish desires he can't satisfy inside Leo's mind.

Although Leon comprehends the consequences of his actions he simply doesn't care, so he engages in risky behavior - like smoking cigars or picking fights with yokai who are bigger and stronger than him - after all he isn't the one who has to face the consequences of his actions, when the time comes for the guy/gang he pissed off to throw a punch he can simply shift to the back of Leo's mind and thrust someone weaker than him (like Boo) into the front. That way he isn't the one experiencing the negative consequences of his own actions and he can wake up Cleo and then sit back and enjoy the chaos when she takes over.

Because of his intelligence, smooth-talking ways, and the fact he shares his self-confidence with Orado, Leon is often able to convince this dominate alter-ego to open a portal and take them to Tahiti or some other lavish place where he can step aside, give Orado shared control as his bribe reward for helping, and enjoy indulging in selfish desires.

He also enjoys spilling figurative gas, lighting the match, and then watching the fire burn in the sense that he'll provoke a stressful situation for Leo, wake up Cleo, and pull back to let her take control expressing her wrath on whatever poor sap Leon poked at.

Then, once he's back inside Leo's inner mind, if Leo isn't already dipping into the void he'll turn his attention inwardly to provoke him to drop off the figurative edge, sending them one and all headfirst into the void.

After all, if Leo goes catatonic for a few days after Leon had his fun, by the time he regains awareness everything Leon did is all but forgotten history.

No one knows what part of Leo's mind Leon inhabits beyond the fact he doesn't reside in the communal mindscape, but it is believed he (at least in part) lives in a dark, blackish part of Leo's figurative heart that was put there by Krang Prime’s repetitive abuse.

🔹🔹🔹

🔹What D.I.D I Do Wrong? Masterpost

🔹My Main Masterpost

[amor-imutavel]

A oração verdadeira é algo que se aprende. Os discípulos pediram a Jesus: "Senhor, ensina-nos a orar" (Lucas 11.1). Eles haviam orado a vida toda, mas algo na qualidade e na quantidade das orações de Jesus os fez perceber que sabiam muito pouco a respeito dessa prática. Se a oração podia fazer diferença no cenário humano, então havia coisas que eles precisavam aprender.

— Celebração da disciplina, Richard J. Foster

[i-ap-uma-menina-crista-stuff]

Oração é o primeiro passo para o seu relacionamento ser abençoado.

Será que nós temos orado o suficiente, para que Deus prepare aquela pessoa amada, pessoa vinda de Deus, a pessoa que será o seu ombro amigo nos dias difíceis. Será?

O que quero falar para você querido leitor(a) que não é fácil, mas também não é impossível. Ás vezes, o nosso grande amor está ao nosso lado, esperando nossa atenção.

Escrita por: Andressa Paiva

[letras-de-maye]

El silencio de Dios

Cuenta una antigua leyenda noruega acerca de un hombre llamado Oliver, encargado de cuidar una ermita en la que había una cruz muy antigua, con una imagen de un Cristo crucificado, muy famosa y visitada por gran cantidad de devotos.

Un día el ermitaño Oliver se arrodilló ante la cruz y dijo: -Señor, quiero soportar y experimentar el dolor de estar en tu lugar, permíteme reemplazarte por un tiempo.

Jesús levanto su cabeza y con una voz envuelta de paz y con mucho amor, le dijo: –Amado hijo, voy a acceder a tus deseos, pero solo te pondré una condición.

–¿Cuál, Señor?, preguntó Oliver.

–Es una condición muy difícil, no sé si podrás cumplirla.

–Estoy dispuesto y deseo con todo mi corazón estar ahí para saber qué siente un hombre clavado en una cruz, siempre y cuando pueda contar con tu ayuda.

El Señor le contestó que, en primer lugar, podría contar con él, porque siempre estaría a su lado para cuando lo necesitara. En segundo lugar, le dijo que, a pesar de lo que suceda, viera o escuche, tenía terminantemente prohibido hablar, por más grave que fuera lo que escuche, debía permanecer en absoluto silencio. Oliver aceptó las condiciones y contestó: –Sí, Señor, ¡lo prometo!

En ese momento Jesús bajó de la cruz y Oliver tomó su lugar. Como la ermita estaba en penumbras, nadie advirtió el reemplazo. Los cientos de personas que entraban diariamente no se percataron de que Oliver había ocupado el sitio de Jesús. Por varios días todo funcionaba a la perfección, la gente agradecía por las bendiciones recibidas y pedían en oración por sus necesidades.

Un día, llegó un hombre adinerado, y al irse después de haber orado, dejó olvidada su billetera. Oliver lo notó, pero recordó la consigna de Jesús, por lo que no dijo nada. Al rato vino un hombre muy humilde, vio la billetera y se la guardó. Acto seguido se arrodilló ante la cruz para pedir una bendición. También aquí el ermitaño permaneció callado.

Luego que el hombre pobre se retiró, entró un joven -que no sabía nada de la billetera olvidada- y también se arrodilló para orar, ya que debía realizar un largo viaje.

En ese momento volvió a entrar el empresario en busca de su billetera. Al no encontrarla, pensó que el muchacho se la había apropiado. Este se dirigió al joven y le dijo: –¡Dame la billetera que me has robado!

El joven, sorprendido, replicó: –¡No he robado nada!

–¡No mientas, devuélvemela, sé que la tienes entre tus ropas!

–¡Le repito que no he tomado ninguna billetera!, afirmó el joven. Sin embargo, éste arremetió furioso contra él, pero antes de golpearlo, se escuchó una potente voz, que dijo: –¡Detente!

El hombre miró hacia la cruz y vio que el supuesto Jesús le hablaba. Oliver, que no pudo permanecer en silencio, defendió al joven e increpó al empresario por la falsa acusación. Sin entender lo que sucedía, quedando asombrado por la situación, el empresario salió de la ermita y se fue sin emitir palabra alguna. El joven también salió de prisa para emprender su viaje.

Cuando la ermita se quedó a solas, Jesús se dirigió a su siervo y le dijo: –Baja de la Cruz. No sirves para ocupar mi puesto, no has sabido guardar el silencio que te pedí.

–Señor, dijo Oliver, ¿cómo iba a permitir esa injusticia?

El Señor, le dijo: –Tú no sabías que al rico le convenía perder la billetera, pues llevaba en ella el precio de la virginidad de una mujer muy joven. El pobre, por el contrario, tenía necesidad de ese dinero e hizo bien en llevárselo. En cuanto a los golpes que iba a recibir injustamente el joven, sus heridas le hubiesen impedido realizar el viaje que para él resultaría fatal. En este momento acaba de hundirse el barco y él ha perdido la vida. Como bien sabes, yo conozco a la perfección el destino de cada uno de los habitantes de este mundo, pero ningún ser humano puede saber lo que va a pasar dentro de cinco minutos.

Oliver agradeció Sus palabras y se fue muy triste, entendiendo que los propósitos de Dios son totalmente contrarios a los nuestros.

Muchas veces nos preguntamos: ¿Por qué razón Dios no nos contesta? ¿Por qué se queda callado? Es sencillo, Su silencio nos ayuda a fortalecer nuestra fe y a madurar espiritualmente. No trates de interferir, como Oliver, en sus caminos, ya que los de Él son muy diferentes a los nuestros.

"Calla en presencia de Dios, y espera paciente a que actúe; no te enojes por causa de los que prosperan ni por los que hacen planes malvados. No des lugar al enojo ni te dejes llevar por la ira; eso es lo peor que puedes hacer. Los malvados serán destruidos, pero los que esperan en Dios recibirán la tierra prometida". Salmos 37:7-9

[moonbor-n]

Nueva versión revisada:

XL: ¿Algún mortal ha orado y pedido deseos? Mientras pueda obtener méritos puedo aceptar cualquier tipo de bendición. ¿No hay barrenderos? También puedo barrer las calles. Está bien, barro las calles y las dejo muy limpias.

LW: No es así, Su Alteza... Primero deje la escoba.