#originally i listed monk as well but had to admit to myself that that was unlikely and just me yearning bgfhjgbhjdfbghjd

[officialgleamstar]

:3 Any class (and subclass) headcanons/ideas/theories for Lark? Vaguely related, I can't stop thinking about the fact the he just whistled up a fucking portal last episode?????

i have always assumed lark was a ranger, which is one reason why i was so flabbergasted by grant being the kiddads' ranger. i still think he should be a ranger, a horizon walker ranger specifically, even if it would be dumb and unbalanced for them to have two rangers. literally it makes the most sense. lark is the most ranger guy ever. however, i already made a full post about ranger subclasses for grant, including the reasoning for horizon walker that also applies to lark (namely what you said - WHISTLING TO SUMMON A PORTAL? HORIZON WALKER TYPE SHIT.) SO i will delve into some different ideas instead

if he's not a ranger, then i would guess that he is a fighter, battle master subclass, or a rogue, assassin subclass, with likelihood (in my opinion!) being in that order. thats the tldr. heres the long version LOL:

fighter - fighters are known for being able to wield a wide array of weapons, which makes sense for lark, since he is such a doomsday prepper. he would want to be able to use any weapon he got his hands on. also, indomitable fits lark really well in my opinion. if we wanna talk gear, i'd probably give him chainmail (flavored as bullet-proof vest), two martial weapons (two daggers), a light crossbow and 20 bolts (flavored as a pistol and ammo), and the pack i'm not sure on. i dont think im gonna do gear on every single class but its just part of being a fighter to me to consider that-- subclass wise, we have a few options, listed in order of most to least likely (subjective.)

battle master - the most likely one to me, though now that sparrow seems to be set up as more of the leader than lark, that might change (though i do think that maybe sparrow just takes the head in talking since he's more. uh. sociable than everyone else rn LOL). given how much enemies monologue in dndads, 'know your enemy' would be a super useful skill, and i think if he was spec'd out similar to gerard from neverafter (mostly in the ability to grant other players extra attacks), this would make a lot of sense for him.

champion - listing this because on a meta-level, its extremely easy to play, which makes it an easy pick for anthony. however, i dont think it fits him character-wise because lark would never heal himself LMAO though, to be fair, i dont think the kiddads will ever level up that high

arcane archer - not the best subclass, but very cool to me, and fitting for how all of the kiddads are gun-heavy. banishing arrow would be super useful and fit the general theme of planes and dimensions.

eldritch knight - not as likely, but i think it would be sooo so cool for lark, especially if the eldritch part came from his connection to the doodler. ohhh the drama of gaining power from the eldritch being you swore to eradicate… plus, we get LARK CASTING MAGIC, even if its not as powerful as anything his family can do! so cool!!! this subclass isnt as good for range, but i could see anthony allowing war magic to apply to ranged weapons rather than just blades for the cool factor.

samurai - in general, this subclass is not lark. however, i wanted to mention it because i think their 18th level ability 'strength before death' specifically is very lark. basically, if you get knocked down to zero HP, you can use a reaction to get an entire turn and then you go into death saves. theoretically, you could use this to heal, but its lark - he absolutely would use it to go down swinging.

rogue - other people have made this point for me, but rogues are good for guns if you flavor hand crossbows as such. i actually dont really like rogue for lark, but i dont have a reason why LOL it just doesnt really? do it for me. however, i agree that its likely to fit due to what we know about lark, so i will play my own personal devil's advocate here. i think it makes sense for lark to be the sneaky attacker while the others draw most of the attention, especially since it seems like there would be three magic users (terry jr, nicky, and sparrow) in the group. magic can be used sneakily, but im sure nicky and sparrow at least would lean towards showiness, lol. plus, i think it would be really interesting to flavor 'slippery mind' as like, lark growing a resistance to the doodler after so many years under its influence! once again, subclasses are listed most likely to least likely.

assassin - this works from both an in-character and a meta standpoint, and from what i've seen, this is what people mean when they say lark should be a rogue. its an easy subclass to play, so its good for an NPC. character-wise, with lark's extreme paranoia, it makes sense that lark would spend time studying how to most efficiently kill people. he doesn't want to risk anyone in a drawn-out fight, he's not grant. he just wants things dead as fast as possible.

scout - am i just saying this one is likely being its the ranger-flavored rogue subclass? maybe. but like liSTEN LARK SHOULD BE A RANGER HE IS LITERALLY A RANGER HE IS-

phantom - not very likely, but SEVERELY COOL from a character standpoint. walk with me here. phantom is a rogue subclass where you talk to the dead, but imagine that reflavored as lark being able to talk to like, eldritch beings, even beyond the doodler? or like, maybe the spirits of those killed and used by the doodler? holy SHIT!! it would be COOL.

unfortunately none of this has an explanation on lark whistling a portal Which Is Why He Is A Horiz- [shot] im guessing he has a magical item tho!!!

[heartofether]

Season One Q&A - Part One TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

VAL

Hey, there. Just wanted to let you all know that after we recorded our season one Q&A, we decided that because it ran so long, it would be a much better listening experience if we cut it into two parts. So, what you are listening to right now is part one. If you asked a question and you don’t hear it in this part, I can guarantee you it will be in the second one. Thank you all so much and enjoy the Q&A!

[MUSIC PLAYS FOR A FEW SECONDS]

LUKA [AS THE MUSIC FADES]

Hello everyone, welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

[THROUGH LAUGHTER] An advice show for the modern era. I guess, should I just try it and then if it sounds really bad, like, I’ll immediately back out?

VAL

Yeah, you can try.

LUKA

Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Heart of Ether season one Q&A! [THEY HUFF A LAUGH.] How are you feeling today, Val?

VAL

Feeling great. [BEAT] Was that it?

LUKA

That sounded like something.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

Should we introduce ourselves? I don’t know.

[PAUSE.] Um. I mean, probably.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

That would be good. [BEAT] Do you want to go first? [THEY LAUGH.]

VAL

Yeah. Um, my name is Val. I’m the writer and producer of The Heart of Ether, as well as the voice of Rosemary Quinn.

LUKA

Woo!

VAL

You’ve probably heard me say that several times at the beginning of episodes by now.

LUKA

[SMALLER] Woo!

VAL

So—

LUKA

Cheers.

VAL

Cheers.

LUKA

And— [THEY LAUGH.] Who am I? My name—nope. I’m gonna start that sentence over.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

And I’m Luka Miller! I play Irene, and I make music—no, I don’t. Yeah, I do.

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

LUKA

[CONT.] I do the music for the show.

So, we got a lot—I sound so disinterested. I’m not, I promise. I’m just trying to be cohesive.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING, THROUGH LAUGHTER] You’re fine, you’re fine.

LUKA

So we got sent a lot of very good questions. I’m going to moderate, I guess. Moderate is the worst word I could use—

VAL

In quotation marks.

LUKA

“Moderate” in quotation marks. There’s two people here, and I’m asking the questions. Interviewer? Question mark? That’s fine.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Wow, that’s so fancy.

LUKA

Okay, so, I was going to save my question for last, but I think it’s actually a good intro question. 

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

So starting right off the bat.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

This is a question from me. Are you ready?

VAL

[SOMEWHAT NERVOUSLY] Yeah?

LUKA

So you bring this up in an episode, and I felt the need to ask it to where there was an answer. I think it’s Episode 7? If it’s not Episode 7, it’s not—that’s going to look really bad on me.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

VAL

It’s fine, it’s fine.

LUKA

Every time I think something happened, I say it’s in Episode 7.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

Um. Who was Irene’s anime crush in middle school?

VAL

See, you’re the one asking me that, but you’re the one who knows her name. ‘Cause I haven’t seen this—’cause we talked about this. We had a discussion about this, but I don’t remember the girl’s name.

LUKA

Okay, ‘cause I was—okay, ‘cause here’s the thing: I know who we kind of agreed on when we first had the conversation, but I was wondering if we had, like, settled on it.

VAL

I hadn’t given it any additional thought. I mean, I guess like...haven’t watched an anime in long enough to like, come up with a cohesive thought about who it would be.

LUKA

Um, the original answer was Bishamon from Noragami. [PAUSE] Because—

VAL

I—

LUKA

[CONT.] Because that was my, uh— [WHEEZE] Uh, can we edit that out?

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

That’s a joke. You can leave it in, but like— [THEY LAUGH.] I am exposing myself a little bit here. She’s kinda sexy.

VAL

I mean—you know what? I think that’s an acceptable answer.

LUKA

Yeah?

VAL

Like, I think that’s solid.

LUKA

Okay.

VAL

I can’t think of anything better.

LUKA

Okay. I just figured the people needed to know, so I wanted to throw it in there.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Now the people know.

LUKA

The people know.

Okay, so, the next ten questions are all from the same person. Shoutout to Jes.

VAL

Truly a homie.

LUKA

Jesse Smith. We love you. The light of my life. I feel like this just sounds like I’m just talking to some random person, uh—Jes is everything. We love Jes.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

VAL

Jes, um—

LUKA

We know Jes personally. It’s not weird, I promise.

VAL

For context of the show, Jes is voice of Dr. Michaels in Episode 7. Kinda forgot that happened, not gonna lie.

LUKA

Yeah, Jes—Jes in the show. Cheers. Good for them.

VAL

Cheers.

LUKA

I wonder if Jes will ever be in the show again.

VAL

Wow!

LUKA

Probably—[DEADPAN] Never. They won’t.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Alright, number one. You’re gonna hate this question.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

“Do you have an estimation for the season two or season two trailer release date?”

[VAL SIGHS.]

VAL

That’s a great question. [BEAT] No.

[LUKA LAUGHS.]

LUKA

The answer is soon.

VAL

Soon. I don’t have any exact dates or times for you.

LUKA

It’s written.

VAL

Season two trailer is written. The actors have read over it. Will not say who those actors are.

LUKA

It’s been cast, though. Everything is set up to get it recorded.

VAL

Yeah. Also, while trailer is technically very close to being ready, I do not want to give you guys trailer and then you have to wait, like, seven months for season two or something crazy like that. Like, I wanna wait a little bit.

LUKA

Yeah, but we do have a few things that will be going up—

VAL

Yeah, that’s true.

LUKA

[CONT.] —in the few—in the next coming weeks. 

VAL

That’s true.

LUKA

Um, some of which are very exciting. I will not—

VAL

Some of it’s still being planned.

LUKA

Shh. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. But, exciting things coming before trailer.

VAL

Yeah, so, trailer will be coming hopefully soon, but you will also have plenty of bonus content besides trailer to look forward to. 

LUKA

This one is fun: “If the main cast of characters was in D&D, what class would they be? Additionally, do any of them actually play D&D?”

VAL

[THINKING] This one’s gonna take me a moment.

LUKA

I think—oh, I was gonna say something, but that was gonna be really dumb. Valencia Wizard. 

VAL

I think you’re right about that. I think Valencia Wizard makes a lot of sense. Dorothy, also, I guess in that case.

I think Irene would be a Druid, and that’s primarily just because forestry—

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Forest School.

VAL

[THEY CHUCKLE.] Yeah. Forest School.

Carol would be—I think Carol would just be a Fighter. Just like, a basic Fighter. I can’t think of anything better for her. Uh—me forgetting every D&D class.

Hold on, I have one: Aden would be a Bard.

LUKA

Mmhm.

VAL

And he would exclusively play Mitski songs.

LUKA

[THEY CHUCKLE.] Good for him.

VAL

Good for him.

Phoebe, I think—Phoebe might also be a Wizard. But she might—I dunno, she might also be, like, a Sorcerer? I feel like that has an energy, but I’m not sure.

LUKA

I have a suggestion.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

You can say no.

VAL

Alright.

LUKA

Holly maybe Ranger.

VAL

I was going to say Holly Barbarian, but Holly Ranger makes a lot more sense.

LUKA

Yeah?

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

This is specifically—[CENSORED BEEP TO HIDE SPOILERS.]

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

I think makes—I think, uh, it makes sense to me.

VAL

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So, I—wait, what would Rose be?

Maybe Rose would also be a Bard? I think Rose would either be a Bard or a Monk.

LUKA

Ooh.

VAL

Like I feel like Monk has vibes.

LUKA

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think any of them actually play D&D?

VAL

I feel like Irene has at least tried to get into D&D at some point. 

LUKA

I—

VAL

Aden definitely does, um—

[THEY BOTH CHUCKLE.]

LUKA

I think Irene went to, like, one D&D club meeting in college.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Tried to learn it, and then felt bad about herself because she couldn’t remember the rules, and then didn’t go again.

VAL

That makes a lot of sense, yeah.

LUKA

This is not from personal experience, but it’s darn close.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Anyways—[THEY LAUGH.] Um, number three. Well, number four, but number three off of Jes’s list.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

“Has Irene had any pets in the past? If so, what were their names?” Other than, um—well, I guess he doesn’t count. Because he’s not her cat.

VAL

Yeah. Sir Griffin the Third was Irene’s cat in spirit. Like, not actually, but it was borderline just co-parenting at a certain point.

I feel like it would make sense if at some point, in like, her initial grieving process, she tried to get some sort of pet for her dorm. So maybe she had, like, a fish? But then she got really upset when the fish died, and like didn’t have the heart to get another one. I feel like that makes sense?

LUKA

That makes sense to me, and it’s very sad.

Okay, so num— [STUTTERING FOR A FEW MOMENTS, THEN] We’ve talked about this question a little bit.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

[CONT.] I’ll preface that. This one is not—this one I cannot say Val did not see it before we started it, because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it, because it’s really funny to me.

It says, “Irene kin list drop?”

[PAUSE.]

VAL

Okay—

LUKA

And now, we’ve had a bit of a discussion about it, but I think there’s room for a lot more.

VAL

There’s room for a lot of improvement. Um, Moomin from Moominvalley.

LUKA

Mmhm. Abandonment issues.

VAL

Abandonment issues.

I have a really awful thought.

LUKA

What?

VAL

The tenth Doctor.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Now—

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Reason being, Rose!

LUKA

Abandon—Rose, shaking hands with abandonment issues, tenth Doctor, yeah.

VAL

Yeah. The venn diagram—

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

[THROUGH LAUGHTER] So, so far, we have Moomin, the tenth Doctor—

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

VAL

Um...we kind of—we kind of talked about this. I feel like—because we all know Irene really doesn’t like Twilight, but I feel like she has consumed Twilight at some point. Like, whether she saw the movies, or read the books out of curiosity, she knows Twilight. She just doesn’t want to admit it. So I feel like some inner part of her does identify with Alice Cullen.

LUKA

Yup.

[MUTTERS] Can I say that? Is that allowed?

VAL

What is it?

LUKA

I was gonna say Duck Newton.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Does that make sense?

[VAL SAYS SOMETHING INDISTINCT IN RESPONSE.]

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Alternatively, Juno Devine. 

VAL

That’s also really good.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] I think Juno Devine, maybe.

VAL

Juno Devine has an energy.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] There’s a fine line between Duck Newton and Juno Devine, and Irene’s treading it.

VAL

Yeah. So, um, Irene Gray kin list: Moomin, tenth Doctor, Alice Cullen, some mix of Duck Newton and Juno Devine. That feels—

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] That feels pretty answered to me.

VAL

That feels good.

LUKA

Okay, number five: “What was the most fun episode to record?”

Now, this is—personally speaking, we did not sit down—like, at first, it was sitting down and being like, “Oh, we need to record this specific episode.” And then we got ahead on certain episodes that were recorded, and then had to go back in and fill in chunks.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] So I don’t think it’s necessarily, like, what episode—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[CONT.] Because it was not all done at once for any of them.

VAL

Yeah. And that’s difficult for me, because the episodes that I remember recording the most aren’t the ones that were the most fun.

LUKA

[WITH DREAD] Yeah.

VAL

They were the ones that were the worst to record. Cough cough, Episode 12, cough cough. [THEY LAUGH.]

LUKA

[STRETCHED OUT] Yeah.

Um—I mean, I can talk about something I think was fun—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[CONT.] —but was simultaneously bad.

VAL

Yeah?

LUKA

Um. You had this realization after the fact, but that every single scene in Episode 12, by the time we finished it, had to have been re-recorded at least once. 

VAL

Some of them several times.

LUKA

However, on the first take of—I think we ended up—no, we didn’t re-do Episode 11.

VAL

I don't—

LUKA

Like, I re-recorded “howdy, motherfucker” a decent amount of times, but other than that—

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Yeah, and I’m sure—yeah, sorry, sidenote to that: you guys will at some point receive a compilation of just Irene saying “howdy, motherfucker” a bunch of times.

LUKA

It was not my highest moment, I will say that.

[THEY BOTH GIGGLE.]

LUKA

But Episode 11, the—when we went to record it, I had had surgery about two, three days before?

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

LUKA

[CONT.] Not, not on like, my arm or like, even like, my internal organs, but on my mouth. Like, in my gums.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

And so that was a whole process. Um, like obviously, we’ve left the question.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

We’ve left what was the most fun to record. But the entire time we were recording Episode 11, I was holding half of my cheek down, because if I laughed, I was going to tear my stitches. Could we have waited? Yes.

VAL

Did we?

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Don’t be like us. [THEY LAUGH.]

VAL

Learn your lesson now.

LUKA

Um, I’m trying to think of, like, my most fun.

VAL

I guess...I don’t know. 

LUKA

For me, it was probably recording with either Ayla or Cass. So maybe, either, what, 3 or 4?

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] That feels like it happened six years ago.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I don’t remember. Um, recording with Cass was a lot of fun.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I’ll say that. So, what, Episode 3?

VAL

That makes sense, yeah.

LUKA

If that’s the wrong number, I’m gonna get dragged. [THEY LAUGH]

VAL

No. You’re right, you’re right.

LUKA

Okay. Um, I think Mitski scene—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

—and Cass and I trying to record while her cat scratched at the door, which, that’s Frank.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Um, we—when there’s pause in the bloopers of me going, “Frank?” It’s ‘cause he was scratching at the door, trying to get in.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Good for him. Alright. Uh, “what was your favorite line of the season?” Well-

VAL

This one feels pretty easy. Are we thinking of the same line?

LUKA

I mean probably.

VAL

Yeah, it’s probably “Howdy Motherfucker.”

LUKA

Yeah. I personally already, and you can cut this out too. I’m sorry I’m giving you more work but it popped into my head—

VAL

It’s okay—

LUKA

It popped into my head—actually you know what would be funny? If, um, I give this whole lead up to it and then you leave it in, and then you bleep out when I say the line.

VAL

Yeah?

LUKA

That would be really funny.

VAL

Okay, yeah.

LUKA

Um, I was gonna say this and then I realized that it’s not, um, in season one. But because you sent me first drafts for season two, my favorite is [BLEEPED OUT SPOILERS]

[LAUGHTER]

VAL

That is really good.

LUKA

So that’s actually my favorite line.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA 

And it’s just bleeped out, I think that would be funny.  Anyways.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

“Howdy motherfucker.”

VAL

“Howdy motherfucker” is probably the highlight of the season.

LUKA

My alternate one is, “Well damn, Carol I don’t wanna die here.”

VAL

Yeah. [LAUGHING]

LUKA

Because of the meme that someone made edited over That 70s Show. “Damn Carol—”

VAL

I think about that—I think about that a lot.

LUKA

It’s actually one of my favorite things. [TAKES A BREATH] Um, “what are you most excited for in the future of the show?”

VAL

Um, I’m really excited to get to make merch for the show. Which, you know, we don’t really have anything officially to tell you guys yet, but we are, we are working on stuff. So generally for the show-

LUKA

Teehee.

VAL

I’m really excited for that. But also there are some very exciting moments in season two that I am super looking forward to people getting to hear.

LUKA

I’m really excited to start recording for season two.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I think also specifically because there’s a lot of new, like, actors.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

And just having read, like, the first drafts of the first two episodes, the difference in like Irene interacting with Aden and Carol versus the characters that she’s, like, interacting with in the first two episodes of season two is, um, wildly different. Um, very excited to get bullied by other actors, I guess.

VAL

Season two just: Irene bully club.

LUKA

It is. Actually, you know what, you don’t have to listen to season two that’s it. [BEAT] Moving on.

“What is Carol’s favorite band?” I was—I don’t know why but it popped into my head Mumford and Sons.

[LAUGHTER]

VAL

See—hmm.

LUKA

Or like, Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.

VAL

Kelly Clarkson’s an artist. Am I allowed to answer an artist instead of like—

LUKA That makes, yeah, yeah. I don’t think Jes is gonna drag you—

VAL

Am I allowed to say Jimmy Buffet?

LUKA

Yes?

[LAUGHTER]

LUKA

Yeah you can I guess.  I mean if you really want to. If you wanna commit to that—

VAL

I don’t think I can, actually, hold on, I’ll edit this out, I genuinely can’t think of anything. I’m trying to think of something that’s like borderline southern but like not all the way southern.

LUKA

Florida Georgia Line.

VAL

I almost said The Mountain Goats but that feels too queer for Carol.

LUKA

Mmhmm. I feel like maybe she listens to Keith Urban.

VAL

That makes sense.

LUKA

Like I know you said borderline country and that’s straight up country, or maybe like- oh my roots are showing- um Dierks Bentley, Keith Urban.

VAL

Yeah

LUKA

Uh, what’s his name, Luke Bryan… One off naming all the country men my mother used to listen to- aw what if my mom listens to the QnA?

[LAUGHTER]

LUKA

I’m sorry, mom! Does that—

VAL

I can’t think of a better answer. I feel like, okay. Honorary answer, outside of all of the country stuff, I do feel like Carol would like Elton John.

LUKA

Yeah.

VAL

Like, just a little bit at least. Vibes. Yeah.

LUKA

Yeah. Give her credit, give her credit.

VAL

I’ll give her some credit.

LUKA

Okay. Now this one is prefaced with “This is by far the most important question.”

VAL

Okay?

LUKA

“Does Carol have horses?”

VAL

She lives in an apartment.

[LAUGHING]

LUKA

Jes, Jes is very dedicated to horse girl Carol.

VAL

Where would she put them? No Jes? Jes message me after this comes out and tell me where would Carol put them?

LUKA

I, I think you can really tell um the difference between this list of ten questions from someone that we talk to every day, versus probably the way the tables are gonna turn as soon as we move on from this chunk of questions. But, no, Jes, please explain.

VAL

Yeah. No, my messages are open.

LUKA

Okay, number ten, from Jes. Last one.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

“How long has Aden collected knitted cats, and does he have a favorite?”

VAL

I think he’s been doing it for a couple of years. I think it’s a combination of cats that he has tried to knit himself and cats that he has found at thrift stores, yard sales, wherever he can get his hands on them.

And I think his favorite is one that he made with an eye that’s, like a little bit lopsided? Like it’s a little bit off, but he’s so attached to it because it took him so long and it was like the first he ever made, and that’s his favorite. Yeah.

LUKA

Yeah, that sounds right.

VAL

And its name?

LUKA

Oh, you’re really, you’re putting pressure on yourself. I thought we were gonna move on, but no please, tell us the name.

VAL

Its name is Pearl. That’s not a funny name, that’s just a name.

LUKA

I mean that’s good enough.

VAL

That’s good enough!

LUKA

It’s funny if you let it be.

VAL

Someone will make a joke about it.

LUKA 

Alright, we’re moving on from Jes question, we can’t be mean to the question askers.

Okay. So this is from megnotmargaret on tiktok. Now, the first question on here, I remember looking at it, and I was like, oh, well this question’s gonna be answered by the time this comes out, however there are a few things that I wanna bring up in regards to it. So the question was, “Will we be getting any bloopers?”

So the answer is obviously yes. But. I felt there were a few things that needed to be brought up. There are bloopers that we can’t find. There are specific bits of bloopers that we know exist, and when we were looking through the audio to get our bloopers out, we could not find them. So—

VAL

Also, due to like remote recording, we had some really funny excellent bits in there, like some really excellent inside jokes from recording, i.e. “vegan garlic,” that just couldn’t make it in because we didn’t record the conversation happening.

LUKA

One of my favorite ones is the clip of you in the bloopers going “uh—hello?” But you can’t hear the other end of it.

VAL

Cause—let me give the context for that. Basically, we were recording episode twelve. It was Cass and I on the call, doing Rose’s part. And while I was recording this really serious Rose monologue, Cass started singing to herself on the other end of the call, and I got really confused.

LUKA

Cass said: I’ve never seen the mute button in my life. Don’t know her.

Um, also one more thing that I wanted to say about the bloopers before we move on, because I think at some point we had it in our heads that we were gonna clarify, like at the beginning of the bloopers, but we didn’t, the clip of me saying “blah blah blah blah blah, next time I cry, I’m gonna get Helen out.” Helen is the name of my microphone. I felt the need to give a little bit of context.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I do have a new microphone, it is no longer Helen, but she lives on in spirit.

VAL

Rest in peace, Helen.

LUKA

Rest in peace, love. You never got to—no I’m not gonna try and do the joke. There’s nothing in my head. The joke is—I was gonna explain the joke but… we’re recording this on Michael right now, so that’s the joke.

VAL

Yeah.

VAL [ANNOUNCEMENT, OUTSIDE OF THE CONVERSATION]

Look forward to part two coming out in two weeks. Thank you for listening!

[fearknocks]

Writer's Block: the Demon, Acedia

I hate to admit it, but I’ve been coming up empty lately. I’m having a hard time writing. I’ve considered anxiety and depression, but then I stumbled onto a new word – Acedia – and a new book.

I was trying to write the closing section of my newsletter, Exit Scott, and stumbled on the word and then the book. A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life: Acedia & Me by Kathleen Norris. The title grabbed my attention, not just because of acedia.

To me, acedia is kind of like depression, but not really.

Acedia reminds me of nostalgia, Civil War nostalgia, a messed-up-mix of homesickness, melancholy, PTSD, and also depression. Acedia and nostalgia both leave a person feeling empty, hopeless, like he or she just can’t do anything, can’t write or work or get up in the morning, and worse, especially with acedia, the person doesn’t care.

Norris acknowledges acedia “may be an unfamiliar term to those not well versed in monastic history or medieval literature…” and adds the “word has a peculiar history… [it] has gone in and out of favor over the years”(2). To define the term isn’t easy, as Norris references a French monk, Placide Deseille, “who describes the word as so pregnant with meaning that it frustrates every attempt to translate it.’”(3).

I did a quick Google search –  spiritual or mental sloth; apathy –considered Merriam-Webster’s more detailed definition – a combination of the negative prefix a–  and the Greek noun kēdos, meaning “care, concern, or grief.” Acedia initially referred specifically to the “deadly sin” of sloth – and find I’m disappointed. Neither source conveys what I’ve been feeling. Sloth? Really? Have you seen my schedule?!?!

Eight Deadly Thoughts, Seven Deadly Sins?

Acedia was originally part of the 8 Deadly Thoughts – Gluttony, Lust, Avarice or Greed, Superbia or Pride, Despair or Sadness, Anger or Wrath, Vainglory, and Acedia – a list that was later consolidated in the 6th Century by Pope Gregory the Great into the 7 Deadly Sins – Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth – at which point Acedia, along with Despair or Sadness, Superbia, Wrath, and Vainglory were kind of lost. In addition, Acedia had often been confused with Despair or Sadness, and combining both into the term Sloth almost sealed its doom. Norris continues:

…the word acedia means absence of care. The person afflicted by acedia refuses to care or is incapable of doing so. When life becomes too challenging and engagement with others too demanding, acedia offers a kind of spiritual morphine: you know the pain is there, yet can’t rouse yourself to give a damn. That it hurts to care is borne out in etymology, for care derives from an Indo-European word meaning ‘to cry out,’ as in lament. Caring is not passive, but an assertion that no matter how strained and messy our relationships can be, it is worth something to be present, with others, doing our small part. Care is also required for the daily routines that acedia would have us suppress or deny as meaningless repetition or too much bother. (3-4)

Acedia or Writer’s Block

Acedia is starting to sound like a  recent acquisition of mine – Writer’s Block –  and my life-long curse of worry (i.e. anxiety). “The desert monks termed acedia “the noonday demon” because the temptation usually struck during the heat of the day, when the monk was hungry and fatigued, and susceptible to the suggestion that his commitment to a life of prayer was not worth the effort” (Norris 5). That sounds like Writer’s Block when one considers that the monastic life and the writer’s life both require a great deal of training. The monk must train himself to embrace a daily routine that brings him closer to God by removing distractions from his life and prayer. The writer must also train him or herself to a routine, remove distractions, and embrace the routine of writing.

Norris ends chapter 1 of her book with this thought:

Acedia is the monk’s temptation because, in a demanding life of prayer, it offers the ease of indifference. Yet I have come to believe that acedia can strike anyone whose work requires self-motivation and solitude, anyone who remains married “for better for worse,” anyone who is determined to stay true to a commitment that is sorely tested in everyday life. When I complained to a Benedictine friend that for me, acedia was no longer a noontime demon but seemed like a twenty-four-hour proposition, he replied, “Well, we are speaking of cosmic time. And it is always noon somewhere. (6)

I look forward to reading Norris’s book in great detail and freeing myself from the demon, Acedia. It seems to be working, so far. Good luck, keep reading, and see you next time from the beautiful city of cedar and the Utah Shakespearean Festival!

Works Cited

“Acedia.” Merriam-Webster. www. merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acedia. Accessed 21 June 2018.

Norris, Kathleen. A Marriage, Monks, and A Writer’s Life: Acedia & Me. New York, Riverhead Books, 2008.

[jotawakening-blog]

29 Fentuary, 5A 169: A Swathe Through Asgarnia

I begin the day with a breakfast of freshly caught cod, then get going on the business that brought me here to Port Sarim: catching the ferry to Entrana to learn all I can about the whereabouts of the Holy Grail.  Of course, Entrana has strict policies on weapons, so before I board the boat, I use the deposit box conveniently located nearby to stow away my combat gear.

Once the ferry lands, I head straight for the basilica, and ask the High Priest there whether he knows anything of the Grail.  He does, it would seem: it did pass through the island some time ago.  However, it’s not here any more, and he doesn’t care enough to tell me where it went.  Just as I’m about to get on my way, to look around the island myself, an old crone who overheard my conversation with the High Priest pulls me aside, and tells me that if I’m in search of the grail, I’d best hurry: ‘A fisher king is in pain’.  Perplexed, I bid her explain, and she does, as best she can.  Apparently, the Grail has found its final resting place in the realm of someone called the Fisher King.  This realm is a pocket plane adjacent to ours, which can be entered at a point where the boundary between the planes is weakest, by blowing a magic whistle there.  This spot is marked by six great stone heads, whose gaze converges on the correct location.  Ah!  I think I know what heads she means!  But, I ask, who is the Fisher King?  She has little to say on this, only that he is ‘the owner and slave of the grail’.  I guess I shall have to find out myself.  As for the whistle: I can find it in a haunted manor in Misthalin (almost certainly Draynor Manor), but only if I’m carrying something from the Fisher King’s realm.  Hm, I guess the tablecloth Brother Galahad gave me might work?  Anyway, I doubt I’ll be able to find out any more here, so it’s probably time I left Entrana and got on with my adventures in the Eastern Kingdoms.

So I get not he boat and take it back to the mainland.  My plan now is to go down to Mudskipper Point and see what my old friend Thurgo can do to fix King Alvis’ ancient axe.  For this, I obviously need the axe, so I head up to Falador to retrieve it from the bank and get geared up again.  Also, I take out my catspeak amulet: assuming that Bob’s still wandering the world instead of staying at home, I may be able to track him down around here.  For the same reasons, I withdraw the enchanted key.  It’s noticeably warmer here than in Kandarin or on Karamja, but not warm enough to indicate treasure anywhere nearby.

In any event, I take the axe to Thurgo and explain that I need it restored.  Thurgo, naturally, takes an interest in the weapon, and asks me where, exactly, I might have gotten it.  I tell him it’s from Keldagrim, but spare him the embarrassing details of how I came by it.  Thurgo nods.  ‘We have not been to Keldagrim for a long time’, he says.  I ask him what he means by ‘we’— could there be more Imcando dwarves in hiding someplace?— but he claims it was a slip of the tongue and moves on to the details of the repair.  All he will need, he tells me, is an iron bar.  Okay, that’s very easy to procure.  I tell Thurgo I’ll be right back and go back up to Falador to fetch one from the bank.  Once I’ve got it, I return south using Remora’s pendant to save me a bit of time and hand the axe back to Thurgo, who fixes the corroded parts in very good time.  Like he said, the damage wasn’t as extensive as it appeared.  Thank you, Thurgo!

Okay, that’s one step closer toward the restoration of the statue… but getting the axe fixed was just one small item on the long list of tasks demanding my attention out here in the east.  My next moves shall be to the north of Falador, where I’ll be hunting for Bob, catching a scorpion, and deliver the compromise meal to Mudknuckles at the goblin village so that maybe, just maybe, I can free the Goblin Generals from the culinaromancer’s time snarl.

I find Bob by the moat of Falador Castle, thanks to the enchantment on the amulet, but he’s not too communicative.  He tells me he’d like to speak with another cat, and asks why I keep Minou in the care of the Bank of Gielinor.  This leads to a rather odd discussion in which Bb tries to convince me that cats are easily as hardy as sheep, and, indeed, were the second species brought over to Gielinor by Guthix.  That’s not what we were taught in school (what about the dwarves and gnomes?), but who knows?  Maybe cats really do have some insight there.

Anyway, I go to the bank once more and get Minou to come meet Bob with me.  This time, I let Minou explain the problem: while Bob has been wandering the world, Unferth has been missing him!  It turns out he hasn’t been home because he’s madly in love with a cat named Neite, all the way in Sophanem.  The problem is that Neite, while she has feelings for him, refuses to get into a relationship with a cat of no status.  Minou, ever practical, asks whether he knows who his parents were, but he doesn’t: he was abandoned at a young age and left on Gertrude’s doorstep, over by Varrock. In his earliest memories, it’s Gertrude who’s caring for him.  Minou comes up with the idea of visiting Gertrude and asking her what she knows about Bob’s origins.  As much as I’m not happy about playing matchmaker between two cats living almost a continent’s length away from each other, I guess I am kind of committed at this point, and might as well, seeing as Gertrude doesn’t live that far out of the way from the Grand Exchange, after all.

First things first, though: I need to deliver the rather unpalatable melange of ingredients I’ve collected to the Goblin Village kitchen.  The place, it turns out, is still in as bad a shape as it was when the cauldron exploded, but it seems that Mudknuckles likes it that way: he keeps collecting new ‘data’ and ‘results’ from the walls and ceiling, and fantasising about new culinary experiments.  I hand him the ingredients, which he beats into a sort of grey pulpy mush and hands to me, with the disclaimer that he can’t vouch for the idea working because the instructions from the generals made no sense.  (Even my choice of ingredients doesn’t reassure him.)  Well, I guess it’s better than nothing, right?  I’ll give it a go when next I’m in Lumbridge, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll see if I can’t think of something else.

Okay, next up: catching scorpions.  The seer back at Seers’ Village claims to have seen them both nearby, one at the monastery and one in a shop in Gunnarsgrunn.  I have my scorpion cage with me, and grab a holy symbol so I’ll be let into the monastery, which I make my first stop.  Once there, I first look around for the scorpion in the public areas, then, not finding it there, try to head up into the monks’ quarters.  As I try to climb the stairs, a monks stops me and tells me the obvious: that this area of the monastery is for monks only.  So I ask him if I can join the order, and to my surprise, he inducts me on the spot!  All I had to do was ask!  It seems that word of my exploits (the re-purification of the Salve, perhaps?) has spread further than I was expecting!

With the monk’s blessing, I head up to the private quarters, where I find a robe laid out for me.  More excitingly, I hear the scorpion skittering around!  Deftly, I track it down and trap it in my cage without having the other one run off, as well.  That leaves just one more, which I think I can get presently!  Before I leave, I pull over a monk to bless for some holy symbols that I brought for this purpose.  He does so, infusing the energies of Saradomin into them and thereby transforming them from moulded silver stars into talismans with the power to ward off evil!  Now, of course, I can sell them for a bit of profit.

There’s still plenty of daylight left, so: on to the next scorpion, this one in Gunnarsgrunn.  Or so the seer said: unfortunately, the delay between my talking to him and my arrival at the barbarians’ village proves, this time, to be telling.  Peksa, the owner of the helmet shop, admits to having had the scorpion in his possession when I ask him about it.  Unfortunately, he no longer does: he gave it away to his brother Iwor, who lives all the way out in the outpost by Baxtorian Falls.  (And by ‘gave it away’, he means ‘left it in his room so it would sting him’.)  Well, that’s disappointing, but I’ll keep an eye out for it the next time I’m there, assuming Iwor doesn’t squish it first!

But that’s a task for the future.  For now, given how close I am to Varrock, I’ve got other things on my mind: first of all, trading at the Grand Exchange, and then seeing what Gertrude knows about Bob.  And so, after consigning my pile of accumulated loot to a broker, I visit Gertrude for a spot of late-afternoon tea and a chat about cats.  Gertrude is pleased to see me— and Minou— looking happy and healthy.  Gertrude is happy to talk, as long as it’s not about death runes— she’s been hearing terrible rumours, and…

I assure her that it’s not about that, and that I came to her because of a cat she adopted some time ago.  Gertrude remembers Bob, but tells me she doesn’t know anything about his parentage: he was left on her doorstep by some locals, and she took care of him until he could take care of himself.  At some point, Minou loses patience with Gertrude’s anecdotes about Bob and yowls at me to demand Gertrude tell me what she knows.  (It’s quite a scene: I threaten Minou with amputation, Minou threatens me with a clawing, and I’m basically forced to get to the point.)  Gertrude’s memory still isn’t jogged, but Minou has an idea: is there a chance that Bob has some connection to the legend of Robert the Strong?  I must confess I’ve never heard that legend, so I ask Gertrude if she can tell it.  Much to Minou’s disdain, though, she doesn’t know it either, and suggests that I go speak to Reldo: if there’s anyone who knows it, it’ll be him.  Good idea!

Before I go, Gertrude tells me there’s something else I should know— some people I should meet are in town.  They’re rat catchers, she says, and they live in the sewers: she knows this because she had to drag her two eldest sons out of there recently.  (Yuck!)  Well, it’s another not-half-bad idea, since I’m already here.  But first, I return to the Exchange and begin to go down my long shopping list, purchasing a new talisman for runecrafting, this one imbued with cosmic energy, an adamantite hatchet to help me chop down trees more efficiently, and, perhaps most excitingly, a mithril, crossbow-fired grappling hook. with which I might just be able to create paths for myself in areas where there are none, like over walls and stuff!  Should be fun to try it out.

The last thing I do before nightfall is visit Reldo at the Varrock Palace library and ask him about Robert the Strong.  This is a figure Reldo is familiar with from some old histories of the Fourth Age, but he has to look it up: he doesn’t know the details off-hand.  In the books, it seems that Robert is known as a hero of Misthalin, taller than the tallest man and stronger than the strongest warrior.  He is said to carry a six-foot longbow and have as his pet a panther named Odysseus, and to be involved in a crusade against the dragonkin.  The book explains what these are: a race of tall, avian, immortal humanoids, who do not use their wings and cannot reproduce.  Because of their lack of breeding capacity, they shunned other races, and created debased versions of themselves to protect them: the creatures we now know as dragons.  Now, the information on this subject is old and unreliable, but Reldo believes there is a grain of truth in such folk-tales, waiting to be discovered.

Okay, that’s nice and all, I tell Minou, but how does that help us?  Minou seems to think, on the basis of the flimsiest of evidence (no one seems to know where Bob came from, based on the grand total of one person we’ve asked), that Bob may actually be Robert the Strong.  Um, what?  That’s so illogical as to beggar belief, but… Minou’s been right about things before, and when next I cross paths with Bob, I suppose I’ll ask him about it.  Most likely, he’ll agree that it’s a ridiculous theory and we’ll be back to square one.

Anyway, it will be nice to see Dororan and Gudrun again and sleep in a proper bed, and I can worry about this and everything else tomorrow.