eryxersstuff · 18 days ago
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Bang Jo is the kind of person who instantly draws people in with his natural charm and friendly personality. He's fun, engaging, and always knows how to make people laugh, making him the life of any gathering. His kindness and genuine care for others make him incredibly likable, and it's no surprise that many people want to be his friend. He has a way of making everyone feel comfortable and appreciated, which only adds to his popularity. Despite having many admirers, Bang Jo remains humble, always treating those around him with warmth and respect, making him someone everyone loves to be around.
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Canna is older than me, just a few years apart from me, but she feels more like a close friend. She’s playful and mischievous, always getting into some light-hearted trouble and teasing those around her. Her antics bring a vibrant energy to our home, and life just wouldn’t be the same without her. Whenever she’s around, there’s never a dull moment, her humor and wit keep everyone entertained. Without Canna, our family timeline feels a bit empty and quiet, highlighting just how much her lively spirit adds to our lives.
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Bang Ardean is the epitome of a calm gentleman. His demeanor is gentle and understanding, combining a manly presence with an air of sophistication that makes him seem almost regal. He carries himself with grace, and his thoughtful nature inspires those around him. To me, he has become a role model, his cool and composed character, along with his admirable qualities, truly motivates me to be better. His ability to balance strength with kindness makes him not only impressive but also someone I deeply respect and look up to.
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Khai is incredibly adorable, and everything he does seems to bring a smile to people’s faces. Whether it's his funny expressions or the way he naturally lightens up a room, he has a special ability to make everyone laugh effortlessly. People around him are naturally drawn to his cheerful personality, and it's hard not to feel a sense of joy when he's around. Everyone loves him, not just because of his charm, but also because he’s genuine, caring, and brings happiness to those he interacts with. He truly deserves all the affection and warmth he receives from those around him.
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Maurelle has a unique charm that effortlessly draws people into conversation with her. Her cheerful demeanor and easygoing nature make her incredibly approachable, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere wherever she goes. With a genuine kindness that shines through in her interactions, she makes others feel valued and appreciated. Maurelle’s sense of humor is refreshingly authentic, her jokes and playful banter are not only funny but also resonate with those around her, resulting in laughter and lightheartedness. It's no surprise that many guys develop crushes on her.
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At first, I thought Juangga was the calm and collected type, but it turns out he’s a total crackhead with an incredible sense of humor. His jokes feel like they come from someone my age, making our interactions really relatable and fun. He’s also incredibly handsome, which is no surprise given that he has fans all around him. His charming personality, combined with his good looks, makes him a magnetic presence, and it’s easy to see why so many people are drawn to him. Juangga brings an unexpected energy that keeps everyone entertained, and I always look forward to hanging out with him.
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Kaia is an expert at roasting, and she’s incredibly fun to be around. Although she’s a little over one year older than me, we vibe like we’re the same age. Our humor aligns perfectly, with similar jokes and playful banter that make our conversations lively and entertaining. This shared sense of humor is why I feel such a strong connection with her, she brings a refreshing energy and a unique flair that makes every moment spent together enjoyable. Kaia’s witty comebacks and light-hearted teasing create an atmosphere of laughter and camaraderie that I truly cherish.
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stardust-in-my-mind-blog · 2 months ago
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wtf is it about my feet?
last night was the best night for singing and I stayed until close
it was euphoric and there was this time where I just sat
at the table with my water and eyes on the stage and screen
singing along with everyone and feeling the connection
music is like water in energy and it creates a sea that is all around
how long do I have to keep swimming until I'm connected with you?
I was the last one on stage and the computer stopped working
so I didn't get to sing Take Me To Church
and it made me sad because I was so ready
man, people really really like to give hugs
I'm getting used to it and it's kind of nice
now when I say no and someone tries to convince me
that my answer is somehow up for negotiation
I just have to look at them for a moment or two
I don't even change my expression or try to
and they flinch and move away and don't ask again
I try to notice what's happening in my body when I do it
that look that I know somehow rises the power of my soul
I feel the heat and energy begin in my heart
who has gotten really sick of being unheard
and knows when she's been heard but they want to be blind
underneath my heart my solar plexus kicks in
I can feel it light up like a gold beam in my strong gazes
inside my core and up through my heart the light aligns
and into and through my eyes I use to send it to them
I suppose that's a conscious use of my power
even though I didn't understand it until now
that's how it looks when I imagine the process in my mind
I always know people by energy and rarely by name
unless they have a name that really suits them
I always remember that names are gifts given to us
and sometimes the givers aren't thinking about us
when they give us the names we are called by in this world
until our hearts release the sweet burdens of our souls
foot massage guy repeated his offer and I said no
maybe I should tell him I'll never want it
seems like it would make the situation more efficient
another dude asked to give me a foot massage too
are my shoes slutty or something?
they're crocs and cute but nothing that screams for attention
plus my feet always are so filthy on the bottom
the Irish have so many folktale stories about foot water
so it's gotta be part of my design with these dirty feet
because if I can be barefoot I always take the opportunity
I don't even paint my toenails or get pedicures
and I often trip over these feet unless I am on my tiptoes
the way I practice attunement seems to affect people differently
some enjoy the way our minds flow and play together
some look at me with a bewildered confusion
I made someone cry in a way last night and I don't know how
now that I've been able to switch my experiencing of life
into more of an observational frame
rather than seeing the world to be always against me
or out to hurt or use me in some way
it does make life less scary and more interesting
last night I went to my car and a crackhead started screaming
he was walking by and saw me and started screaming
and when I drove past him he started doing it again
and though I didn't understand why I could objectively say
there was something about my presence that didn't work for him
I'm just thankful he didn't offer a foot massage
there was this green light across the river I was curious about
once I crossed the bridge to go find it there was a stone angel
and I found the light to be a permanent light fixture
it had a sideways triangle on it and turned red
when my fingertips touched it with a beep
I quickly walked away in case I'd accidently summoned something
I've been looking at that light for weeks wondering about it
so now I'm glad that one mystery for now is solved
Can't Fight The Moonlight had good energy
Blank Space felt a little hard but it was received well
it's nice to be a character that's part of the community
but one that easily disappears and people expect it
it's interesting to see yourself as a character in a world
instead of some collection of stories you think of yourself
that other people who often know less about themselves
repeated and told you until you wrote the pages with their words
but you helped me set fire to those pages, didn't you?
it's nice to see people as experiences that unfold
and not try to anticipate what role they play in my story
and I try to keep that detachment with everything
and it's easy with everyone except you who follows me
in my shadow like my favorite phantom in my thoughts
likely because I have so many unanswered questions
and there's all the ways you keep yourself
from being observed and it's all so intentional
you're the wiser of the both of us in this way
and it triggers my intellectual ego to know it
and it springs a hope in my heart that I let it keep
sometimes I let myself for a few moments think about
all the reasons that I want it to be why and it
makes me feel like I'm melting into something warm
and I like the feeling but I try not to get carried away
because that just makes me feel impatient with longing
and longing is something to use productively
that energy created in the distance between potential and desire
there's nothing else like it for creativity and crafting
like how birdsong comforts and soothes our minds
but like the radio it's a bunch of horny poets
trying to catch the ears and eyes of love sweet love
they all ask me if I have someone and I tell them that I do
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viridiave · 3 years ago
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Daylight Prairie- Creatures of the Light (lore dump)
I've had a couple of theories and headcanons stirring around my head regarding Prairie for a while now- so right here we're gonna tie some of them together cuz I haven't lored in a good long while XD
Note- btw I'm not part of beta so this is purely just me- a crackhead- putting together a crackpot narrative. SOME spoilers for Eden are present.
<THE CEREMONIAL WORSHIPPERS>
okay these guys drive me fucking nuts
We barely know anything about these guys- and what little we do know is derived purely from their closed off uh... Worshipping space. Look at this freaking thing.
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In the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by clouds for miles. Fairly advanced diamond technology. Altars with graves decked out in gold and candles. The mechanism for the entrance to the elevator to begin with is fairly complex as well- activated by butterflies and the butterflies don't even die in the process. And to top everything off, this place has a portal that leads directly to the Prairie Temple.
If this isn't sus I don't know what is- but I think I have an explanation.
There are six spaces for six more people that we are not aware of. The only people we DO know of is one bald person in the short garb and another bald person in the long garb. I propose that these six missing people are the Whisperers.
Which is... pretty out there, I know. Counting the 'voices' that we get in game, (including the ones from previous Seasons like Lightseekers and Sanctuary) we have one for Birds, Whales, Mantas, Memories, Crabs, and Jellyfish. For now, we're not counting either Butterflies or Krill- and I'll explain why in a bit.
As for the initial proposition that these Whisperers are the missing six, first we need to ask ourselves what exactly it was that the Worshippers were... worshipping. There is a possible god of which we see in game, and the name of this god is the Megabird.
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Megabird here was heavily present in concepts, and in the final product we only ever get to see traces of her and heck to this day we're not sure if she's a canon entity in the final game at all. Megabird as an entity in the concepts is basically the god overseeing the world of Sky and is comprised entirely of light. It's unclear whether or not the Ancestors were aware of her existence after or even before the King rose to power. The Elders themselves are likely privy to this information, but somehow I doubt that it's something anyone wanting to assert control over their people would encourage.
There's certainly the possibility that these Worshippers were a religious sect dedicated to the Elders themselves- but since I'm here trying to propose that they're worshipping something tangential to the possible actual god, we're going to assume this isn't the case. On that note-
<THE WORSHIPPERS WERE DEVOUT TO LIGHT ITSELF>
I propose that the Ceremonial Worshippers valued the Light above all else- and this worship was extended towards the light creatures themselves.
'Oi. Vir. Crabs are DARK Creatures.'
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Not all of them. Heck, a dark crab might not have been the norm back then, but that's a stretch and besides- the fact is that these crabs on the far end of Sanctuary are docile.
Keep in mind that these followers were stationed in Prairie, of all places. You know what else is in Prairie? Sanctuary Isles- home to several kinds of manta, butterflies, jellyfish, and even the elusive Elder Manta (yes that's what the big chonky boi that looks like a light krill is called- it's not a whale.).  Daylight Prairie is in no shortage of light creatures- and at the center of it all is its Elder.
Prairie Elder is implied to have responsibilities toward the light creatures as presented in the SkyShop poem featuring them:
'Fields of harvest, prairies of joy.
Farmer and fauna as one.
The Elder protects the creatures of light,
For darkened days to come.
Fly up, fly away,
For the Children of Light in need.
We shall recall our days of wonder,
And feel its air once more.'
-SkyShop Poem (Prairie Elder Pin)
In the greater context of the story, Daylight Prairie is the primary source of light energy in the form of the light creatures- it makes sense that the Elder of that realm would oversee the flow of light creatures from one realm to the other, and that the Ancestors in their domain would have a greater respect for the creatures than others. They're the ones working with them, and they're the ones that know them best.
Enter the Worshippers- who were likely serving directly under the Prairie Elder. I'm not confident that the Prairie Elder could have shared information about the Megabird- or if they even know the god existed. 'The Light itself' is pretty vague for something to be worshipped, and it's possible that the Prairie Elder instead encouraged people that the Light manifested itself into the various light creatures that we see.
In this world however- industrialization marches on, and eventually these light creatures became things to be harvested rather than worshipped. It's speculated that light creatures were used in the production of diamonds- we see signs of this scattered throughout Forest, and Wasteland by proxy. The mural under the bridge in Forest and the doors to the Temple seem to suggest as much at least. Eventually, this industrialization will grow out of hand. I have a few theories on what the Prairie Elder might have done to passively rebel against this.
<PRAIRIE ELDER AND THE BUTTERFLIES>
We learn in the Prairie Elder's cutscene that they are able to form- not summon- butterflies from fire. I'm not proposing that the Prairie Elder is single-handedly responsible for the existence of butterflies- rather I'm proposing through the Prairie Elder's abilities that light is able to be manipulated in such a way that one can create light creatures, should they know how.
It could just be the butterflies, honestly. And really it could just be the Prairie Elder that's capable of such a feat- and because of these holes in this theory it's the first to go.
And yes this is the reason why the Butterflies don't count. I think. That has holes too and I can make a case for the Butterfly Charmer technically being part of this... But I digress.
<SANCTUARY ISLES>
Sanctuary Islands could be a literal Sanctuary for the light creatures- there is an impressive variety of them present. It's also very out of the way, tucked away in a corner of Bird's Nest. The theory I'm proposing here is that the Prairie Elder and the Sanctuary Guide worked together to keep this place hidden from the rest of the Kingdom- and that it was the Sanctuary Guide that broke the bells that would have granted the Ancestors access to the light creatures.
<THE WORSHIPPERS DISBANDED>
This is... probably improbable, but my whole post was leading up to this so we're doing this. The missing six Worshippers are the Whisperers that we've encountered throughout the game- leaving in order to either develop their relationship with or protect their creatures of choice.
The Bird Whisperer stayed close and remained in Prairie- and is probably the reason why Bird's Nest exists at all. The Jellyfish Whisperer remained as well, opting to stay in Sanctuary- the natural habitat of the jellyfish.
The Whale Whisperer ventured to Forest- where there probably once was a small population of Whales, given the corpse we see in the Bridge Area and the live Whale in the Underground Cavern.
The Manta Whisperer went to Valley- I'm guessing to see how mantas were being used for labor and competitions? And Valley is right next to Wasteland so I might be reaching but they could have been monitoring that too.
The Crab Whisperer is a tricky one because we see them travelling with the Lightseekers, and yes I am proposing that this lady was formerly a Worshipper. But because we're dealing with a creature that we now know is more dark than light, maybe the Crab Whisperer joined the Lightseekers in order to observe that phenomenon more closely? Because she does refer to the crabs as friends in her SkyShop poem. Wasteland wasn't always a... wasteland, after all. Things could have been different, and the crabs could have been adapting in a time where they would be relatively dangerous but not so much that an Ancestor couldn't approach them.
And then there's the Memory Whisperer. For this one, I don't think a spirit manta actually exists- at least, not as an organic creature and moreso just an interactive holograph courtesy of the machinations of Vault. I'm actually not too sure on what this person could have been doing, but they have a call- and my best guess is that the Memory Whisperer is one who listens to the last vestiges of light leftover by a creature- because we do see skeletons in Vault, and one is of a creature that looks like an amalgamation of several spirit mantas.
<WHY DON'T THE KRILL COUNT?>
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As far back as Prophecy, Krill don't appear to be aligned with the light. They aren't depicted as former light creatures, nor a corrupted variant of an elder manta or whale- they are presented as thenselves in that Prophecy mural. Though I'm sure we'll get a Krill call later on, I'm not going to count them until then.
<CONCLUSION...?>
This huge post is... full of holes and heavy speculation, I'm aware. Mostly I just wanted to dump a bunch of shower thoughts and leftover lore I came up in the Discord lore chat. Go check it out sometime, I've derived a few points in this from interacting with people there. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this matter, by the way- it's fun theorizing! I haven't done this seriously in a long while.
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viggos-mortensen · 5 years ago
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i had to follow u bc our crackhead energies align so well
tru but i'm surprised the world's not destroyed by our combined dumbassery yet
Anonymously tell me why you follow me
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jigensass · 6 years ago
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Thoughts
I always have this tendency to be...human. My interests, opinions, thoughts, feelings, and so on, change such as the ebb and flow of the ocean move back and forth on the beach. But just like a bull in a china shop, these feelings overstay their welcome and cause chaos in my everyday life. It always occurs when I am least expectant of it. I never notice it when I am in a "decent" mood. Since I've had this whole week off, I've been constantly stimulating myself with tasks I have been wanting to do: watch Netflix, write, read, non-work tasks as a change of pace. However, I got so involved with a new app of coloring pages it was probably what I did for about a third of my time off so far.
Before this week and a few weeks prior, I've noticed all of my energy going into my work and then coming home and curling into bed to go asleep. The weekends would also consist of these same activities (maybe I would go to the store to buy groceries but doing that mere task wiped me out for the rest of the day until about 8pm). This exhaustion has also led me to neglect my meditation practices on an active scale. Needless to say, I was attempting to practice at work and keep my mind at ease. But this week stirred something inside of me.
My brain is always wanted to be stimulated. From dusk until dawn. I wake up around 6 am, grab my phone, check Tumblr, go to work. I get to work at 7:30 am, I instantly turn on my laptop and do not stop sometimes until 4-5 pm. Get home and do the above paragraph. Some days, I'm perfectly fine with this. The constant buzz keeps me going. But after 3 weeks of doing the same thing and having to account for 5 other different people to make sure they're on par with doing their jobs, it was soaking me dry. Last Friday when I was the only person in our department on shift (the other guy had to go home because he was sick as well) I texted my boss who was off in an equivalent of a bitch fit because I was on my last fuck to give after all the mud I had been drug through in the last 3 weeks. Given I was completely aware that 'shit happens', I was still angry because this was not the first time I had been run over by the bus like this. She called me to calm me down which did help, she seems to be one of the very few people who actually understand my brain, can process my emotions, and get me down to a solid state of inner peace.
The difficulty of finding this 'inner peace' on my own is that the concept happens in a way that isn't mindful by what every Buddhist book I've read is actually mindfulness. I've been meditating for over a year now and I have achieved mindfulness, but not all the time.
In times like the past couple of weeks, I have neglected to sit on the cushion mostly because I don't have the energy to do so. I did yesterday and it came to reflect that my mind has 20+ things buzzing in it at once when I am moving through life. Music, stray past thoughts, futures that would never happen, and so on. When you're trying to be calm, it overstimulates you so much it causes a breakdown. I did some reading before typing this section and ADHD people tend to be either adrenaline junkies or sensitive as shit. I disagree with this statement because I believe I fall somewhere right in the middle. A lot of factors are dependant on where on I am on this quote "continuum" despite the time, location, alignment of the stars, my mood, the situation and activity I'm involved in, etc. Some things I would continue to pleasure myself with like a crackhead (such as taking in information from books and doing coloring pages), but other times I am so sensitive to certain things I just want to hit the eject button so fast (i.e. socializing in general and talking. Foreign noises tend to irk me, noises of any kind distract me).
Why I decided to write this big, long...thing, is that I have come to somewhat of a realization or if it's a reminder. (IDK) But here is my conclusion to the events of last night's meditation/this week's mindlessness/reading some books.
Some may not know, but I decided to ditch social media around September 2018 for the majority of sites (minus this one). And it HELPED with my overall success to peace with myself. I didn't ditch this site because I had people who cared about me and abandoning them would put me in the basis of isolation.
However, in regards to more personal reasons about myself, I feel as though writing Stephen's persona has gotten me to a point where it is affecting me emotionally (yet again, this isn't the first time I've noticed it and I've let it go over a meltdown or two, but I have decided that it didn't help and in the end, only spun things faster). It's nothing y'all did wrong, it's me. It's how my brain has been responding to things ever since I was a child.
So, yeah, I'm taking a hiatus. Don't know how long it will be. A day? 2 weeks? *shrug* I don't know. I just need to think things over.
Final Statement: The way I've been writing and getting caught up into things is not healthy for me and I should have caught it earlier when the signs were obvious. But I was on a dopamine junkie rush and didn't see it.
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ts-akhmim · 4 years ago
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Episode 12 | “Beauty got problems and Brawn got problems”- Autumn
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wow. just wow. i sure did just do that and im so proud. i proved to myself im a deserving winner tonight. i will fight to the death to get my allies to the end because lets be real i sure am not making it KJSDFLASFLA.
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i was going to start this confessional out in a celebratory tone but YOU KNOW WHAT I STILL AM BECAUSE WE JUST DID THAT. I typically like to be my own biggest hater and drag myself in my confessionals a lot just as a way to clock myself and try to see the other perspective, but BITCH I KNOW I SNAPPED THIS ROUND AND IF YOU DONT THINK I DID LEMME HIT YOU WITH SOME FACTS; FACT: I CORRECTLY USED MY ADVANTAGE AND WON IMMUNITY DURING WHAT WAS A PERTINENT ROUND https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: UPON FINDING OUT I HAD IMMUNITY I KNOW DEVON WAS COMING TO ME TRYING TO KEEP ME UNDER HIS WING, OH YEAH ADAM, JUST VOTE IN THE MINORITY, AND GO ALONG WITH BEING AT THE BOTTOM, AND IT WAS M E DECIDING I DIDNT WANT TO DO THAT AND SPILLING THE TEA THAT LED TO GETTING AN OUTCOME I WANTED https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: it was ME who also went to autumn/ali and started planting seeds of doubt in their minds about jake and it's turning out it's helped me solidify my position with them better https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: It's also still me who's aligned with 2 or 3, if you include jake, of the biggest targets left in the game and i already have augusto and amir sliding in my pms trying to play pity me boo hoo hoo like gorl plea im not buying it but yall wanna keep singing kumbaya? well ill sing the encore and be twice as fake as yall (i DO love them both as people just as a disclaimer but from a game perspective? they're beasts!) https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif ok, boasting over, time to hop off cloud nine and get back to reality because FACT: we all just made a big move, so the target on all of us, including myself, just went up, FACT: i could easily be delusional and maybe i had NOTHING to do with this blindside SJDFA but lemme bask in my fake glory anyway itll be funny to read after at least... FACT: The war has truly only just begun, that was a great victory but if me/ali/autumn are really in it like we're saying, we may still have another idol on our side, but we're gonna need more than that, it's kinda funny we're one brain, one brawn, one beauty and i think that speaks volumes i truly love these gals and think this is a good game route for me. some people might think it's foolish of me to align with the big threats and go deep with them, but who's to say im not worthy of being in their company? if it wasnt for my social connection with devon he wouldve never told me the plan, and then autumn is the smart one so she kept us composed and together, and then ali was the brawn he had the idol and got the job done. So im gonna just try and stick with this for now, hopefully they feel the same and dont try to oust me right away because then ill look like a whole fool and a half OOP, and ill plaster my fake smiles on for everyone else and kiki it up we can haha hehe all day long but i wont hesitate to vote them out because trust and believe. 
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Last Day 30 was my last day playing TS: Guyana, so this is a nice feeling to still be here. But now the fun kicks in. Jakey helped orchestrate the Devon blindside with the Ali idol, so I guess we're even. And now, assuming Jakey is still actually with me, which I think he is, I think we can run this game for the longrun. He has access to Ali, Autumn, and Adam and I have access to the three Beauties. I truly see this being beneficial for the both of us in terms of keeping one another safe and allowing us to get to the final six unharmed. Final six is important for me. I'm not sure if I've admitted this in an earlier confessional or not, but I have the Legacy Advantage (thank you Jordan Pines!) that I can use at six. So I just need to survive two more tribals. If I can do that, I have a seat in the final five, probably two more rounds to survive before getting to FTC, and then I have a shot. I really need to start building a resume if I want to win this game, but I think I have a chance. I really need to get Ali and Autumn out in these next three rounds. If I can do that, I see myself being able to make the end with the likes of Jakey, Kendall, Augusto, and maybe Adam (Amir will become a threat at five or six I think) and then I have at least a shot at the win, but I really need to keep my head down, keep the social game going, and make a move or two here.
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so. i think i have some explaining to do JKLASDFA huh? i was on calls for the like three hours before tribal so i didn't really confess at all.. in fact i think in my last confessional i said that we were voting 4-3-3 which did not happen at all so i think i need to fill in some gaps huh? so... i have known since like 11pm EST yesterday that i was getting votes tonight. devon told, adam told me and then told autumn, but then autumn didn't want to tell me until later in the day which i honestly do think was fair so we weren't spiralling for hours. we were all sus of jake all day (and lowkey i still am?)... like i dont know when his energy because so shady, plus devon may have told adam that jake was in on the plan? plus he kept saying stuff like the vote has gone "back to kendall" and kept pushing me not to play the idol... something does not add up right with that. anyway so that demonic group of five voted for me, and lied SO much to make me leave with my idol? like why not just make me paranoid, leak the vote to adam or jake then vote autumn get me to waste an idol and then autumn leaves? now that would've been a good move hello?! but that group does not know how to blindside, idols have sabotaged their plans twice and amir/augusto should consider themselves lucky that they are still in the game. also kendall fought me at tribal because i was being cocky... but she literally tried to blindside me into leaving with an idol hello?! i appreciate that she thought she was going, but she is zero to too much way too quick. augusto can literally suck my ass our call was him and his bad excuse for jury management, like can he at least be like amir and pretend to want to work with me? anyway so moving forwards, i wanna vote out kendall or augusto this round. amir can stick around because he at least pretends to wanna work with me plus he is a threat too. idek i just want all the fake people in this tribe gone. i will not vote for adam, autumn or jake. i will vote for any of the others, im not fussed about the order in which i do so. im living on borrowed time in this game and im going to make it count
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Sorry this is two parts I thought my friend was gonna die lol but she's fine. Remember kids, there's no dick worth dying over and a straight guy rejecting you is a blessing in disguise these days (considering the alternatives). 
Now on with the show hahaha 
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-AkqQGDYzlccP1VFwpPNo-aCQPFmoj9Z https://drive.google.com/open?id=1bVcBqq0JL2-ybgTiS2vOrYURbCG0kIxh
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thots on final 8: augusto: would cut me to win, literal love of my life, super kind and empathetic and genuinely good person, i think his social game is fire and i think he has a way with people, and downplays how smart and cutthroat he really is constantly, but i love the kid so much ali: the brit has to die ali again: okay im kidding i like him a lot but tbh hes a smart fucking guy, i think hes super cool and and also a badass with that idol play, hes a force but he has to go soon autumn: lana stan, coolest girl around, queen of the social game, queen of likability, queen of controlling rounds and letting others take the hit, a damn threat, she could win this game   tj: sweetheart, we need each other in the game rn, i need need need to secure his loyalty adam: hes kinda crazy but he has a good heart, kinda just following ali and autumn rn, not gonna win in the end kendall: i have a soft spot for this crackhead, she deserves the world, probably cant win at the end but im happy i met her, shes on my side and a vote i can use moving forward jakey: love him to death would die 4 him, would beat me in the end and at immunities also the fact that kendall augusto and i are all still here is so fucking funny, like bitch how kejwnfkewjnfkejnwfkjnewkfnewk cockroaches
So numbers on surface Jakey - adam - autumn - Ali Kendall - Amir - Augusto - tj Round 5: Adam - Ali - autumn Amir - kendall - Augusto In the middle: jakey - tj So I just have to work on them 
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when i tell you ive been hooting and hollering what the fuck is going on in the survivor on this day, who the hell would've thought id win my third individual immunity in one season, gorl that is probably the most 2020 thing to happen in this game. although two of them pretty much were dumb luck afdjks either that or maybe im doing a little better than i think i truly dont know, and the touchy subjects clocked me on THAT as; what was it they said, 'the person they forget is in the game' and also 'least aware of their place' okay well yes im AWARE ive BEEN lost and asking for help this whole game gorl! But that's great, that's how i want people to view me, because uh... i just won 3 of these things now and that alone is reason to target me, granted im doing my best to play it up like dont worry! im just a dumb dumb! and clearly theyre eating that up like crazy, because it's both just the truth but also strategy if i keep playing it up, so watch out meryl, adam's in town! also LOVE that i knew i was gonna get most likely to have the idol i dont know how many times i have to say it IM INNOCENT AND BEING FRAMED FOR A FOOL and ooh dont even get me started on all the other tea it spilled, i actually got the LEAST of the bad things, i guess i kinda exposed myself because i made most of my chops at amir, augusto, and tj oop, so they probably didnt like that but they really left me no choice strategically, screw with me, i screw back, simple as that. As far as the vote too ummm.....it's been quiet tonight on my end so hope that doesnt make me a fool because this time last vote was a disaster, at this point im still thinking i need to stick with ali and autumn because this vote is so pertinent, after this a solid 4  can take it, or get as far as we can because im always keeping my options open OOP, but for the most part i do want to stay true to my good judys for now, but i know someone between amir/augusto/kendall has an idol and if they were smart theyd use it this round, so i need to convince the others of this because im sure its gonna happen since they dont think ali has one anymore hopefully but who knows, if it were up to me we'd vote augusto or tj this vote. I think amir has the idol and i think he's going to play it for himself this round or i could see augusto playing it for him, so if i can make anyone belive that very realistic scenario, we can get one of the ones theyd least expect just to ensure us the numbers for next round, but what do i know, they just forget im in the game anyway! so hopefully tomorrow someone tries to give me the tea and we get a plan together or else i spilled all the tea last round for nothing which is worst case scenerio 
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yesterday was a lot. I went an apology tour to everyone involved in my blindside and honestly it was annoying. the fact that augusto basically got me to apologise to him on our call when he blindsided me was irritating, like he just let me sit there and take fault when the point of the call was for him to take accountability. talking to him is like talking to 2018 me, he has such social ability, but he just takes zero accountability and is just so infuriatingly wishy-washy. he is all of my worst attributes as a player rolled into one. i also... almost won immunity? which is crazy, but I just found yesterday and the way immunity played out so frustrating, but I've spoken about it enough in my host chat enough. just know i feel robbed, slighted and if I get rocked out this round when i should have immunity. i will throw a fuss again SAJDKFLAS. anyway so this vote is gonna be a mess. tj and autumn now have a blood feud, Kendall and jake came to a head this round. so that's four people whose name i hopefully am not their number #1 target, plus i don't think adam is targetting me? but this vote is going to be a mess, because it very very easily could be 4-4, where there is an idol on both sides of the trench. i have a gut feeling amir and his sock puppets are going to vote autumn. it makes sense, tj wants her gone and the beauties need him reeled in. so i think im going to have to idol autumn, but that is risky because if the 4 vote jake... im going to rocks, and if they vote me, im reliant on jake going to rocks. but i just wanna send all these people backing, especially augusto. amir i'm trying to shake him that me and him have to stick together, but i also could vote for him. i literally just want to make F7 and to vote someone who just voted me out. that is literally all i want. if i go home i will be literally devastated
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So like… there’s the dream and there’s the harsh reality which is something this round really talk me. The dream is obviously me winning, making all these big moves, and doing THAT. However, my reality? Could very well be that people don’t see me as a winner at all and it makes me a little disappointed but I gotta prove them all wrong. The vote last round being Ali was honestly mostly my doing and I’m proud of that. My ideal boot order is Autumn/Ali then Jakey then Autumn/Ali and that is GOING to happen because I’m putting that into the universe. When it comes to Autumn and Ali, I would rather Ali go but I think the safest bet while still having a target leave would be Autumn. In a way too, I do know Amir wants Ali out moreso alongside Jakey but I wanna separate my game from Amir so yeah. Also Adam calling me a fake ass bitch even tho my drunk ass was telling him I liked him was a gag… but oh well.. Nothing grinds my gears more than people thinking I’m not being genuine with how I feel towards them but if that’s what he thinks, maybe that’s what he’ll get idk… i feel petty and mad for some reason over it… BUT ANYWAY, I just want to survive this vote. I hope Kendall doesn’t go but she also said she wants me to win over Amir so yay?
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If I die, I just wanna say I regret nothing and I have full confidence that the right person will win this season. So not TJ, Augusto, or Amir lmaaaaooo. Amir entering the two time winner chat??? Over my dead fucking body. If there's one thing Imma do it's poison a jury
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Ali or Autumn... who shall we vote? Stay tuned!
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Is Jess really Canadian... stay tuned!
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god. today is gonna be another nailbiter and i want to confess first. so the plan is to idol autumn and vote out kendall, which sucks because i do now like kendall. i just think its the safest way of avoiding them playing an idol i guess, i don't even know. i just am sick of fighting in this game every single round me and autumn have had to fight to make it past. the fact jake is throwing a fit in my pms becuase im not idoling him is infuriating because... i'd love to idol myself? like? anyway im over it. if i go home, i hope tj can finally stop his blind fixation on autumn and i, that augusto can actually be accountable for one entire thing, amir can stop his pity party and show awareness for his threat level and that kendall... well actually kendall is fine. i just feel like im a mum trying to get all my kids to fit in a minivan and to put their seatbelts on, like can they get it together.
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I don’t think anyone is ready for this round or at least what’ll come of it... I’m expecting an explosion or a mess given Jakey thinks he’s staying, TJ has been lied to, and hopefully Autumn or Adam leave next... its all a mess. If Jakey goes, I’m planning a 2-2-2 split between Autumn and Adam where we maybe get Autumn out but Adam leaving doesn’t hurt either. 
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me with biggest villian, biggest backstabber, thinks they are running the game, is running the game, and is gonna win at the end http://prntscr.com/ss4h5q
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literally god demolished and brutalized worse than anyone in this game tonight in that touchy subjects yet I’m also the one comforting like half the tribe over their answers even tho I ADKWNWQJN WAS ATTACKT LIKE this cast literally thinks im a psychopath fjebwfjenkn but im not gonna play victim over my superlatives i just have to use this target on my back strategically 
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I want destruction AHHHHHHHHHHhhHhHhHhHhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Okay so, they think me or Augusto have the idol, so they can vote kendall, to ensure our idol isn’t played and that me and Augusto and tj are forced into rocks, and im just like trying to get everyone to stop replying to ali cuz hes smart and he will psychoanalyze and figure out who to play the idol on and like he has to play it on autumn and not himself so pls pls pls kkjnkjenfs let this work
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