#out of character ‣‣ 25 years and my life is still tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

altagraye · 3 years

Text

Big Big Love pt. 7

Maia appearance: 27 weeks pregnant. ( 5 weeks later after ch 6)

Maia age:25

Dean age: 31

Sam age: 27

Jo age: 25

Jo appearance: 7 weeks pregnant, baby is size of blueberry.

Approximate season: 6

Approximate year: 2010-2011

Quote:

"She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night…"

-'Whiskey Lullaby,'-Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss

Warnings: violence, gore, elements of r@pe, r@pe, gore, character death, child death, feral states.

Chapter 7: Whiskey Lullaby

Maia:

Dean has stopped focusing his hunter energy on Felix. However, that didn't stop the men of the house from keeping tabs on his whereabouts. Since both Jo and I are pregnant, there's an enormous amount of pressure on the Alphas to protect and provide. Poor Dean and Sam look so exhausted all the time. But Dean finds solace in our bed at night, he loves to listen to Little Bean, feel her kick and writhe around inside me.

Dean treats me like a queen, I like it but I see how much it takes out of him. So I try and do what I can on my own. Between Jo and I, we keep burning through Sam and Dean's wallets just by eating. I don't think I've ever ate so much in my life. I'm so glad the puking has come to a screeching halt. I still get nauseated every so often but I've gotten used to it.

Dean doesn't let me go anywhere without him. He's lucky I love him, because sometimes it gets on my ever-loving nerves. I'm glad we're alright and I didn't have to have an emergency C-section or anything like that. Nobody likes under baked sweets. My legs ache frequently and naturally Dean massages them. Ugh, he could be a masseuse in another life. Cas bought a whole truck load of diapers the other day, ordered them off Amazon. He keeps them in the basement, what a weirdo, a sweet and caring weirdo. Bobby is either hitting the books or half asleep drinking from his flask. I still get tired all the time, I can't wait to pop this kid out and get me a nice piping hot cup of joe.

My entire existence is confined to the walls of this house. Most of the time I get pretty bored but Dean does a great job at keeping me company and telling me stories from his past. Like one where he and Sam had this string of unfortunate and fortunate luck when they nabbed an actual lucky rabbit's foot. He told me about Bella the 'Bitch with an itch for rich treasure'. He was very proud of himself for rhyming that description.

I couldn't keep my mind off my hallucination. It's so scary, not knowing what's real. Sometimes I wake up and see him standing over me in the middle of the night, with a butcher's knife ready to carve me open. Like tonight, that's what I saw, second time this week. I'd screamed awake, Dean woke, taking out the gun he always sleeps with under his pillow. My lips quivered, and I'd closed my eyes, fresh tears coming down.

"not real, not real, not real." I kept repeating that mantra. Dean packed his piece away as the light in the hallway flipped on. I feel really bad for waking everyone up. Well, except Bobby's liquor induced slumber. How is he not dead yet from alcohol poisoning? My heart kept thumping wildly in my chest and I was hyperventilating. Dean sat legs, crisscrossed on our bed. He rubbed my back, the pressure firm and sure, an attempt to break my mental torture. He brought my nose to his nape, where his Whiskey was strong, a sure thing to calm my nerves. I didn’t want to cry, but it just overcame me.

This new psychological affliction only furthered my doubts of how weak I thought I was. The door opened, when I'd have nightmares like this, Sam usually made his rounds about the house, not knowing if the threat was real by the end he'd always check on our room.

"Everything okay?" he asked. I kept my sobbing sounds to a low volume, not wanting to show my fragility.

"Yeah, false alarm." confirmed my Whiskey-man. Not really. How can anything be okay when I'm not genuinely free of Felix? Even if he were to drop dead tomorrow, I doubt he'd leave the confines of my mind. Am I just going to have to accept that He won't ever disappear?

I wanted to move through the house, anything to get my mind off the fact that just moments ago I thought Felix was tearing into my stomach. I took a deep breath and flung the covers off of me, standing, my bare feet on the coolness of the wooden floors. Sam moved out of my way and Dean trailed behind me. Sam returned to his own room giving his brother a concerned look.

I rummaged through the fridge, looking for my half-eaten chocolate bar from earlier today. Dean grabbed a second slice of apple pie from the fridge, wanting to eat with me. I brought our food back up to our nest, still needing that comfort that only our bed could give me. Dean's hair was smashed on the side that he'd been laying on it. Seeing it made me smile. But that momentous happiness left, I was unable to stop thinking about my Dealer.

We finished our treats and I had to break the silence.

"I want him dead. Having him poke around in my head like this is bad enough. If he's gone I won't have to worry about a physical threat." I gave Dean this goal.

"Bobby's working on it, but just when we think we have a lead, it's always nothing. He's two steps ahead of us. Plus if something happens, I won't forgive myself if I'm not here. So you can forget about me leaving you and Bean." he said.

"Dean, I don't think he's ever going to leave my head. How the Hell can I function or raise a family like this?" I asked not knowing my future. Dean grabbed at my hand.

"We'll think of something. Maybe Cas can heal your noggin or maybe there's some kind of memory spell out there?" he suggested. I love you for trying but that doesn't make me feel better sweetie. I sighed, turned out my bedside lamp, and lay on my left side, the only position I found viably comfortable now. I didn't want to fall asleep because I knew Felix would be waiting for me again, on the dark side of my eyelids. But I did it anyway.

Morning birds tweeted cheerfully throughout the surrounding trees near Bobby's house. What a pleasant alarm clock. My head ached with a dull force, I rubbed at my forehead where the sting was. Today is gonna suck. I got up from bed and dragged my feet to the wall clock and its neighbor the calendar- pretty expertly photographed flowers on display. Tuesday, October 26th, 2010. I crossed out the Monday square with a sharpie and in today's spot I scrawled out '27 weeks'. I drew my best sketch of a kidney bean next to it admiring my work. In smaller lettering I put '7 weeks' next to Jo's name. I wanted to track both of our pregnancies visually. I gave my belly a loving stroke. Only 13 or so more weeks left, Little Bean, and you'll get an official tour of the Winchester den.

Dean groaned himself awake. "Morning, handsome." I greeted him, waddling over to his side of the bed. He heaved himself up to meet me, admiring my beauty. He stroked his calloused hand through my hair, tucking the strands behind my ear and using it to press my neck into his lips. He moaned into my tender flesh. Mmm I'll never get tired of good morning kisses. My breath hitched and eyebrows furrowed. Dean let go, scanning my face. My poor Alpha, ever since my medical scare 5 weeks ago, he's been hyper aware of all the groans I make. I grabbed at his forearm, my fingers making contact with the cold metal of his black watch that he never takes off. I let his warm hand spread over my bulging belly, over the spot that had made me grunt. The tension in my mates' face relaxed, he pressed a little harder.

"G'mornin' to you too, Little Girl Bean." his raspiness greeted our little one from inside the womb. I chuckled happily at the awe of my lover and continued our kiss. Dean gently dragged my body closer to his, the base of my stomach brushing his thighs. He pressed his ear to my chest and listened to my heart thump in my chest for a few minutes before announcing his 'starving' state.

Castiel was up and about surprisingly, away from the refuge of his dank basement. He was studying one of Bobby's medical Omega books. Dean volunteered to make us breakfast. I sat down, slow, bracing myself on the arm of the couch before sinking into the cushion. Castiel noticed my presence, as I leaned over trying to catch what he was reading. "Good morning, Maia." He said in his distinct monotone the angel turned his head to me.

"Hi, whatcha reading up on?" Why would he want to read a textbook like that? Dean came over with piping hot plates of delicious pork. Gods, Jewish people don't know what they're missing out on. Dean turned on the TV, taking pleasure in looney tunes. I lived for Dean's laugh.

"I'm reading about Female Omega Childbirth." Cas said finally deciding to answer me. Dean gave the angel a death stare.

"Okay. Why?" I asked finishing a slice of bacon.

"Well, I'm the most probable candidate for delivery if you were to birth the child here. I spoke to Sam and Bobby about it and they refused. And Dean needs to support you in that event, unless he can stomach delivering his own pup."

"Dude, I'm right next to you, why are you talking about me like I'm not in the room?" Dean said through a mouthful of scrambled eggs and hot sauce. Eggs still make my nose wrinkle.

"That's very thoughtful of you Cas." I praised him.

Dean turned his head to look at me. "Don't encourage him. You're not popping that kid out here." He told me, tossing his empty plate onto the coffee table angrily.

"Why not?" I asked. Dean hung his head in annoyance.

"because, Maia. It's not safe. I want you in a hospital where there's medicine and entire staff dedicated to you and Little Bean. I'll be damned if something happens..." He stopped raking a hand across his face.

I let an arm cradle my stomach, staring down at my forming beach ball.

"What if that choice isn't up to you?" I challenged him.

"I'm not going to risk losing you, it already almost happened. Isn't one knock on death's door enough for you? Besides, do you want to be in agony? You wanna end up like you're fucking Mill-mates?!" He took the book from Cas' hands closed it and chucked it across the room, landing on the floor with a loud bang. His words hurt me to the bone and made me react, I'd slapped him hard across the cheek sending his face in the opposite direction, I drew blood in four streaks across his flesh, my claws had extended.

"Don't you act like nothing's changed! I'm free from that Hell-hole. This is every bit my home as it has been yours. I should have the choice at the very least. Can't you just think about my wants for one second?!" My voice started to crack and I could feel my throat getting raw, my nose flaming with emotion.

"I do! I think about you every second of every day. Don't make me feel guilty for considering your safety, Maia!" I couldn't take any of this, so my feet took me out of the room and back up the stairs. "Yeah, run like you always do!" he yelled back at me, annoyed by my avoidance of the situation. I opened our bedroom door and slammed it shut, thinking I might have broken something in it. Jo had heard the vinegar words from up here and decided to join me in my room. She sat on the bed, by now Dean was back at our door banging on it, "Dammit, Maia. C'mon, open the door. I'm sorry. Can you just let me in?" He pleaded.

It's very unusual for an Alpha to beg, for anything. But I'm the only exception, since he's my mate for life and regarding I have his pup in my belly. If I were anyone else, he'd take what he wanted, he would have bust through the door. Sure, he'd have to fix it later, but near no one surpasses the authority of an Alpha. He thudded his head against the door, sighing, I heard the weight of his body slide down it. He knew I needed some time by myself, except I wasn't alone, Jo was still sitting on my bed. I'd let her do that every once and a while. And we've bonded further considering our pregnancies.

I'm glad that I'm not the only woman here, and Jo is an Omega too, so that makes talking easier. Even in this short time she's been here, it's like we're close sisters we never knew we had in each other. I've never had siblings so I wouldn't know what Dean and Sam's relationship was really like. Though I did catch a mere glimpse of it when we soul-bonded, but that's not enough to see the forest for the trees. I took a few breaths so that I wouldn't bawl in front of Jo, even though I probably could. The only one that I felt okay with seeing the weak me is Dean. But that is still hard on me. Chock it up to Omega issues and extreme trust complications.

I joined Jo pulling the covers over my legs and sitting in a relatively comfortable position. Jo held my hand, the gesture made me tear up. Don't fucking cry.

"Hi," I muttered.

"What's up? You guys don't really get into fights." Jo asked. I tucked some of my chocolate locks behind my ear.

"When it rains, it pours. Cas was reading up on Childbirth and that sparked our argument. Dean wants me to have Little Bean in a hospital. He's worried that something might happen 'cuz of my medical scare. I get that I really do, but I mean what's the point of a nest if I can't have my child in it? This notion has been engrained in us Omegas' for centuries. It's a species-wide tradition." I explained.

"Hmmm. I get that. But Dean just wants you to be safe. Plus they have scent neutral birthing rooms, so that nothing will imprint the baby. You can bring some clothes with you too, to make it kinda like your nest. Honestly I think you should go to a hospital, too. We all care about you, 'kay, Maia? I really do understand your side sweetheart but, you've got a dangerous pregnancy. Just think it through alright?" She told me tying her hair back into a ponytail.

She has a point. Maybe it is for the best? I gave my stomach a loving caress. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Little Bean. I groaned loudly and rubbed the side of my tummy, my eyes wincing. Jo watched me intently, "You okay?" She asked.

"Mmm yeah, oooo, strong kick. Who knew I was gonna be one of those lame soccer moms?" I joked and breathed through it. Jo's eyes jutted to my stomach but she placed a hand on her own.

"At least you'll be the most badass soccer mom, with a kickass Impala." She noted trying to make light of the situation. I smiled, the tenacious movement being over. She hovered her palm over my belly, wanting so desperately to feel it.

"Don't!" I snapped at her, "No one touches me but Dean. Sorry." Wow, call me heartless, but I didn't know I had that in me. And against Jo? Must be Omega-mother's intuition. See Dean, you're not the only one with a protective bone in that Adonis-body of yours. Jo retracted her hand and set it back on her barely-there bump. Jo frowned.

"What does it feel like? The kicks 'n' stuff. I heard they can do somersaults in there." She said with all the curiosity and wonder of a child. My eyes rolled up to the ceiling in a thinking manner. Can I give her a proper description? Ah! Got it.

"Well, in the beginning it just feels like your stomach moving after a bad burrito. As time goes on, you start to notice little tugs like there's something caught on fishing line in there. More time passes and you'll get elbowed in the ribs, just a nudge. Kidneys and bladder are never off limits, they usually get the brunt of it. Sometimes you feel it turn around inside ya, that makes me a bit nauseous if she does that too much. It sucks when you have to pee and they decide to kick or punch, you'll find yourself sprinting to the restroom. I've only felt it once or twice but this one likes to lodge her foot into my ribs every once in a blue moon. That hurts like Hell, and you'll find yourself changing positions a lot, 'til they calm down. But, it's the best thing you can ever feel them do, it lets you know that they really are there." I tried to give her my best description.

"Wow! That sounds so cool! Oh I can't wait. Maybe I can though, don't want pee myself." She chuckled at her joke. She looked back up at my face her nose scrunched up in annoyance.

"What's that face for?" I said nudging her shoulder playfully.

"You guys can't keep calling her Little Bean or Little Girl Bean. Look at you, she's almost here and you guys haven't picked out a name yet." She stated shifting her weight and sitting upright. "Got any in mind?"

"Hmmmmm. I don't know. Maybe Olivia? Or Charlotte. I like Charlotte better than Olivia, but uhhh Charlotte is kind of dated." I debated to myself.

"Well you need to think of something before Dean ends up writing Leia on the birth certificate." She concluded. I laughed, "Oh that is so not happening! Such a movie-nerd."

Jo got up to leave and I interjected before she could open the door, "Jo? Thank you. And um, do we have any more chocolate?" I asked buttering her up a little. She smiled and tilted her head.

"You're welcome, girl power right? I'll go check. But, on one condition! You need to come up with a good name soon, and you need to talk to Dork-o. He really does love you, you know that right? Never seen him fall so hard for anything." Jo assured me. Jo's known him longer so to hear her say that, made my heart warm and flutter all at the same time.

"Just thought I'd let you know, lucky bitch." She joked as she opened the door, Dean's head and torso suddenly falling with a loud thud, his weight no longer supported by the door. Dean grimaced.

"Ah, son of a bitch. You could have knocked!" Dean said groaning, and heaving himself off the floor. Jo sucked in a breath from the sight of his scratched up face.

"Oooooo. That looks like you got in a fight with a very pregnant, very hormonal wife. And here I thought you picked your battles?" Jo said snarky.

"Go suck a dick, Jo." Dean protested standing, his boots thudding against the floorboards.

"Gladly. That sounds like a good idea, Sam'll love it." She said with a sexy snicker.

"Gross, get outta my room." The green-eyed Alpha demanded.

"Hmph, your loss. I'll make sure to be extra loud tonight." She said with a wink.

"Very funny." Dean snapped back and closed the door in her face.

Jo laughed as she descended down into the main part of the house, checking the fridge and pantry for my silken request. Dean came over to the bed and sat in his spot, where Jo had been. Dean wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Friggin' Marshmallows. Now I have to re-scent everything." He said taking off his boots and crawling into bed with me. I shifted my weight as best I could and sunk down into the cold sheets. He stared up at the ceiling, with his hands folded underneath his head. I couldn't keep my eyes off the damage I'd done. My eyes welled up and I couldn't stop them flowing, I can't believe I hurt you. Lovers should never do that to each other. I brought my hand to it touching the wound gently. He winced and looked at me.

"I'm so sorry Dean. I didn't mean to hurt you." He grabbed my hand and kissed it, his blood getting on his lips. "Just a few scratches Maia, I shouldn't have said all that shit." He confessed. I scooted in closer, wanting to be engulfed in my man's Whiskey. His arm fell down to press me lightly to his side, stomach permitting. My crying had stopped.

"Can you believe I'm tired again?" I pointed out, nuzzling my head into his firm chest. He grinned.

"Yeah. You're making a whole 'nother person. You're gonna be wasted." He said rubbing my back and turning his head to kiss my forehead.

"Dean?" I asked.

"Hmm?" He returned.

"About earlier, I was too stuck on mysel-" he cut me off.

"Nah, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I was too, Alpha." He admitted.

"I'll go. I'll go to the hospital, I've already had complications. You're right. I need modern medicine, not archaic tradition." I confessed. He kissed my forehead a second time, lingering.

"Your wish, my command." He vowed. "Get some rest, Love." He told me rubbing my back soothingly to help me sleep. I couldn't resist, sucking in deep breaths of Whiskey combined with the rhythmic rubbing sent me to La-La-land in no time.

Dean:

I'd fallen asleep with her until my nose picked up the intense smell of pine. Someone was nudging me awake, but staying quiet enough to where they wouldn't wake Maia. I opened my eyes and groaned lightly. Sam was towering over me desperate about something.

"Dean! Wake up. Jo is missing." He said in a tense whispery tone. I got up and exited my bedroom closing the door with a small click. Sam turned to me, his eyes full of worry. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a napkin, on it scrawled a note from Jo. Had to get chocolate for Queenie and I really want some peaches. Be back soon, worry-worts. P.S.- time of departure: 5p.m. fuck you Dean, drill sergeant. For making me time stamp. 😛

I glanced at my watch, it was now 10p.m. way too late for a milk run like that. I woke Bobby, still half-way in a stupor but ready nonetheless. Cas said he didn't hear anything.

"I'm going with you," Cas uttered. I bucked up.

"No! Stay here. Protect Maia. Don't answer the door for anyone except us three." He nodded realizing my Pack-leader authority and sat down at the kitchen table, unmoving. Sam, Bobby, and I packed our duffels quick and got up to Baby. There was a note tucked between her windsheild and the driver's side wiper. Special Halloween Prom night-Bash at WestPointe High! Don't be late.-F. The note reeked of Cigars. God-Dammit. He got Jo. I let my guard down and now this happens. There's a chance she's still alive. I crumbled it up and put it in my jacket pocket, the night air fogging with my warm breath against it.

We all hopped in not wanting to waste any more time. Driving down the road, Sammy insisted on seeing the note. He could smell it in my pocket, smell Cigars. This was no hallucination. This was the real deal. I was reluctant but tossed it to him anyway, stepping on the gas. With my driving skills we'd be at WestPointe in ten minutes. It's a fifteen minute trek west from Bobby's. If Felix had done something to Jo, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I'm Pack-leader. Whatever happens at Bobby's goes through me first, no questions asked. Sammy got finished reading the note and sucked in a tense whiff of Felix's Cigar scent. He'd be able to track the bastard once we got inside.

He couldn't stop fidgeting his leg up and down, similar to a kid with ADHD or a guy tweakin' on crack. Either one would be viable. Part of me wanted to turn back, feeling that this was a trap to get us away from the house and away from Maia. But I pressed forward. Cas is a god-damned angel. He can handle a werewolf. I reassured myself. I was barely able to put Baby in park when Sam jumped out. Darting for the front door. Music was blaring and there were strobe lights on inside.

I didn't have a good feeling about this. Sam entered before us, not staying with pack and hunter formation rules. But I let him go, I would have done the same thing. Bobby and I moved a bit slower, wanting to be thorough. I recognized the song, Billie Jean covered by Chris Cornell. The pit of my stomach started to twist. There was red arrows everywhere, leading us in an unknown direction. Knowing Felix's sick ass mind, I doubt it was paint. In the distance down the hall I could hear a terrible wailing. My heart was sinking, my feet picked up the pace.

I opened up the double doors labeled gymnasium, where the macabre arrows pointed. That sound, was the sound of great loss, knowing it came from my brother. I didn't want to find out either, but I needed to. Because I knew my little brother was hurtin' real bad. In the middle of the gym was a chair and in it a headless body dressed in a fine pink prom dress. The wrist fitted with a white rose corsage, stained red with her own blood. God, she was everywhere.

Sam was on his knees staring at the scene before him. She'd been hacked open, from breast to pelvis. Her innards hung out of her like streamers. Felix's signature was not left unnoticed. Her womb was expertly carved open. It's precious contents missing, not that it would have been able to survive without it's mother. On the bleachers behind her torso was her head displayed on a pike, topped with a tiara. Behind that was a banner a note written in red.

Sixpence none the richer, Winchester. The song stopped and Felix's voice came on over the high schools' intercom system.

"Prom Queen and King! Jo and Sam Winchester. What a happy night, no?"

Sam was no longer a bawling mess of a broken man. Instead there was new found rage boiling deep in his center. The waves of Pinewood could be smelled even from a distance. He was turning feral and fast. He'd sniffed the air and let his nose guide his feet, darting in the direction his senses told him. Bobby hung his hat down hiding his own emotion. I was unsure that I could stop my brother now. I'm not sure anything can snap him out of this.

I had to follow him. I'm sure if he did find Felix, he'd rip 'im limb from limb. I scaled stairs up to the second floor and dashed down to the principal's office where the intercom system was located. Bobby was going to take some time to catch up. Old man. Before I got in there was another roar. But not of sadness. I'd recognized the sound in myself when one of Felix's goons attacked Maia.

Point of no return had been reached. I heard a crash of glass and entered, my gun drawn. No one in sight, not even Sam. Felix was long gone before we got here. The intercom system had a recording of his voice playing on a loop. On the desk written in more of Jo's blood was, Pleasure doing business. Sam must've seen this and bolted out the quickest way possible, down. I'd heard the screeching of tires peeling out the parking lot. My heart started to beat faster than ever, realizing the Felix was probably already at the den. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. HELL NO!

I darted out of the room Bobby finally catching up to us. "Where the Hell is Sam?" He asked winded.

"No time Bobby, gotta go back. Maia's in danger, hurry up old drunk!". My feet and legs took me back to Baby opening her driver's side door. Waiting momentarily for Bobby to catch up I gave my surroundings a once over, checking for my brother. Still no sign. I don't know where you are Sammy and know you're hurt but I need to protect what I have left. Bobby finally got in and I hit the gas the hell out of that graveyard. God, Jo. I'm so sorry. Baby, don't let me down now.

Maia:

I woke to find Dean no longer cradling me. Maybe he went to relieve himself? I suddenly got ravenous, hoping Jo had found some chocolate for me. I checked my phone to see what time it was, I couldn't read the wall clock with all the lights off. I'd gotten a text message from Jo. No South American delicacy for the Queen, going to get more. Remember, think about names! I don't want a Leia Winchester for a niece.- Love, Jo.

Bummer. I heaved myself up from bed and set my phone down on the bedside table. I breathed for a moment, rubbing my belly, what am I gonna call you Little Bean? I exited the bedroom and noticed there was something different about the air, like everyone had vanished. Weird. But my cravings to fill my stomach with something was too strong. I took the stairs one at a time, keeping my hand on the rail and one on my stomach. I went to the fridge rummaging around for something that sounds both appetizing and edible. I found a cup of cherry yogurt. Hmm, not my favorite but that'll do. I grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer, well un-silverware drawer. I sat down in the kitchen chair and began to eat when I caught a whiff of blood. Oh no, my mind immediately thought I was having another abruption but that worry-filled thought left. I wasn't in pain.

My face contorted in confusion as I heaved my pregnant ass up and let my nose do some work. I followed the scent, I caught a glimpse of one of Cas' fancy shoes on the floor I walked further toward them and found the source of the blood. Cas was in the hallway large slashes across his back. I went to him.

"Cas?! What happened? Is Felix here?! Where is everyone? Cas!" He wouldn't wake up. I heard some footsteps from the kitchen headed in my direction. I turned bearing my claws, ready to defend myself and my precious cargo. My claws retracted but I was still, if not more, confused. Sam was there I front of me. His monster of a frame towering. The intense scent of pinewood flooded the whole room. Even in the dark I could barely make out that he was covered in blood. What happened?

"Sam?" I asked, my mind sending me to dark places. "Where is Dean?" His eyes were glazed over like he'd been locked in a trance. Was he feral? Where's Jo? I'd felt hard knuckles across my jawbone, dazing me. Sam just punched me. This is way not good. With no time to react he'd slammed me against the kitchenette table. His claws growing around my neck. I'd tried to slice at his arm but nothing worked.

"Stop asking about fuckin' Dean! You know, I've been so patient with you. And you won't even look my way?! Dean always get first dibs, because he came first. Well, I'm tired of waiting." This wasn't the Sam I knew. Something really horrible must've happened. The pressure of his hand, able to lace his fingers around my dainty neck with ease was just enough to choke me. I'd felt coolness of the a/c treated air against my folds. He'd shredded my undergarments. His frame pressed to mine, a knee violently coaxing my core. He leaned in further and sniffed at my claim-mark, belonging to his brother.

"This should be mine. And this too." He'd placed a hand over my stomach.

"Sam! Please, this isn't you." I pleaded my voice hoarse. His lips crashed with mine. My face grimaced. You're not my mate, Sam! Stop this, it's wrong. He'd let go his grip of my neck just slightly but forced my head down, he licked his fingers and inserted two of his digits into me, making me gasp from shock and unwanted penetration.

"Dean thinks you're a dumb Omega who can't think for herself. I'd never treat you like that, I'd give you your own freedom. He's no different from Felix really, keeping you locked in this house. You're just a buttered up slave now." He didn't really feel this way did he? His fingers kept at a ruthless pace when he talked. My tears were undeniable, leaving drops on the hardwood below me. This is why this happens to me. At the mercy of an Alpha because I've always been too weak to defend myself, pup or not. He removed his fingers and I'd felt his tip at my entrance. When I'd smelled Whiskey.

Sam growled darkly before throwing me down to the cold tile of the kitchen floor, blood from my busted lip, which I hadn't noticed 'til now, casting itself on my cheek. I stared at the brothers, numbly, why did this happen? I kept eye contact with Dean, his shock fading, in its place a fire. Dean wound his arm and let loose, giving his brother not one shred of mercy. I could only watch as I heard the cringing sound of Sam's nose breaking under the pressure of Dean's fist.

end part 7.

#alpha!dean #omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #violence #gore warning #emotional hurt #alpha!sam winchester #dean x oc

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geek-gem · 5 years

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FNAF Fazbear’s Reborn

GeekGem's FNAF The Silver Eyes Sequel AU

*I’ve had this for a few weeks or two. I’m officially gonna post this now. Don’t take it too seriously. But yeah this is a character info post. Maybe part 1 most likely. But I’m not gonna name it that. Despite it seems to be that. But I just wanna post this old thing. This is basically a synopsis with again talking about some characters. So shit I can’t post this on my FNAF Blog. I mean I’ll get more traction on my main blog. Okay I’ll try that. But next time like I’ve talked about. I’m doing stuff like this for my FNAF blog*

It's been four years since the horrific events at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Ever since then, Charlie has been trying to move on. All seems to be going well after completing university. When she first hears from her friend Carlton back in Hurricane, Utah that something has been happening. Somehow a new Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is going to open. Including the original animatronics are gonna be used. Despite everything that's happened at Freddy's.

Furious upon discovering this, trying to move on from these events. She is joined by her friends and others to stop this pizzeria from opening and why is it even happening in the first place.

While during all this and trying to find some answers. She meets two fresh employees who are working there by the names of Mike Schmidt and Jeremy Fitzgerald. Who want to assist Charlie however they can.

But during this crusade. The group discover certain events that happened after 1985. Including more repressed memories coming up in Charlie's mind revealing certain things. Along with the discovery that William had family, especially an eldest son by the name of Michael Afton. Who is working at a sister location called Circus Baby's Entertainment And Rental.

With these discoveries, more dark things are revealed. Including the intentions of a certain Andrew Afton and some animatronics.

Charlie Emily: A 21 year old young woman who is the daughter of the man who opened both Fredbear's Family Diner and Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Despite appearing kind hearted and independent. She has suffered PTSD from the events such as losing people close in her life, and facing off against a masked murderer and four killer animatronics.

Despite suffering from this trauma. She's been trying to move forward with her life. When she first hears about this news involving Freddy's. She is enraged by this and wants to stop this pizzeria from being opened.

During this crusade, she is joined by old and new friends who want to help her cause. But also more repressed memories are awoken as she discovers other events that have happened.

As of now despite their relationship seemed romantic for some time. Charlie and John have decided not to pursue a serious relationship after sometime.

While she was weary of the two guards at first. She realizes she has no reason to hate them and all they wanted was a job. Because of this she becomes closer to them.

Mike Schmidt: A 25 year old US solider who was honorably discharged a year before working at the new Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Having moved into Hurricane in 1989 with his family. He didn't hear the story of Freddy's till someone mentioned. Including when the anniversary happened in 1995.

Despite his serious demeanor, he's actually a very chill and fun loving kind of guy. Back in the day be grew up being best friends with officer Dunn. But Mike was shocked when he found out his best friend was killed in the abandoned Freddy's in the old mall. He still misses Dunn to this day. Especially after Dunn's death. It seems like Mike may have developed some sort of stubbornness and anger issues. But feel inside he was still the same guy.

Upon meeting Charlie while he didn't know what to fully think of how to interact with this young girl. He can understand and relate with her pain of losing a friend at Freddy's. Since becoming friends, especially with Jeremy Fitzgerald. He's developed a sort of older brother relationship with them. Something he felt amiss ever since Dunn was killed.

Jeremy Fitzgerald: a 22 year old young man who's family moved into Hurricane in 1987. Having no personal connections to Freddy's, he had no problem working at the new Freddy's. Even though at a young age he was wondered if becoming a police officer and idolized someone like Dunn. He was saddened hearing what happened to the young officer.

Despite at times being a nervous wreck, especially around women. Jeremy is a genuinely kind hearted person who can be courageous and determined. Despite at times he may seem like a coward. But he genuinely wants to help people.

After meeting Charlie and her reasons why she's against the new Freddy's. He quickly empathizes with her cause and wants to assist but not trying to get fired quickly.

During this crusade. Jeremy begins to feel attracted to Charlie because of her personality and after she shows him some affection back. But he's nervous if she will return the same feelings back. Counting the fact he's working in a pizzeria she desperately wants shut down. Including this is after her and John stopped dating.

But also during all of this. Jeremy discovers a terrible event that happened to his birth father. What really happened to his frontal lobe.

Michael Afton: A 26 year old man and the eldest son of William Afton. Ever since his dad went missing. He's stayed with his uncle Andrew instead.

Despite appearing very empathic and kind. Michael when he was younger was a different person. Someone who's actions led to the demise of his younger brother.

With the fact he suffers from depression and guilt. Charlie was surprised to hear that William even had a son of any kind. Yet as more repressed memories come up, she slowly remembers him.

As he and Charlie get to know each other more. Despite she's conscious of who Michael is. Because he's William's son but she shouldn't put that against him. Talking with Charlie. He soon learns who his father really was, including the possibility of some how that his sister Elizabeth could be out there.

Which results him going to Circus Baby's Entertainment And Rental.

Andrew Afton: The younger brother of William Afton and CEO of Fazbear Entertainment and Circus Baby's.

Not much is known about Andrew. Expect that he’s 4 years younger than his brother. Including he was working with William and Henry before Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza shut down in 1985. Having been a worker for them since the beginning at Fredbear’s Family Diner.

Ever since 1985, he’s been in his brothers shadow and just working under his him. A funny way to describe Andrew is that he’s a more masculine version of his own brother. But compared to this brother...William over time seemed to become less normal. Including a lot of times, going out and about without explanation. Then in 1995 he went missing or so it seemed.

Being a charmer and mature but masculine looking gentlemen. Basically living up to the meaning of his name Andrew. Yet overtime including when Andrew took over Fazbear Entertainment and Circus Baby’s something was off about him.

It didn’t help that over the time of his life he got life lessons from his older brother. Including whatever happened during the times in 1985 and 1987.

One thing is for certain....in 1999 he discovered William’s corpse in the Spring Bonnie suit......he was genuinely surprised to learn his older brother was dead. Instead of possibly just getting rid of it or tryin to put his brother to rest. He decided to single handedly board up the room his brothers corpse was in.

Because there was the possibility what he’s seen and heard of what the animatronics can become...he worried.....something would happen the same way with William.

Despite the negative protests against him. He believes he’s doing a good thing by reopening Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza and starting new. Hopefully that with the start of a new decade. To move forward into the future with a more positive outlook.

But what he also actually thinks....he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. No matter the death threats or protests...he has more malicious intentions. Learning from his experience in 1987, and what the Funtime Animatronics were created for. He’s now in a position where he can do whatever he wants.

#fnaf #fnaf the silver eyes #five nights at freddy's #charlie emily #mike schmidt #jeremy fitzgerald #michael afton

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lululawrence · 7 years

Text

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2017.

I was tagged by @allwaswell16 and @londonfoginacup and @flamboyantommo and I feel like maybe someone else…so here I am lol also this got hella long, so i’m gonna put most of this under a cut.

1. List of works published this year:

listen. believe it or not i published 40 fics this year. 40. in 2017. SO i’m gonna just…list them in chronological order, k? k. (this is why this is gonna have to have a read more)

1. Easy, Breezy, Beautiful 2. Bloody Mary 3. I Don’t Know What To Believe 4. The Day is Up and Calling 5. Bend Me, Shape Me with @a-writerwrites and @dimpled-halo 6. I Found a Love 7. That’s Not My Name 8. Be a Daymaker 9. Love Me Like You Do 10. What Happens Next 11. Validation 12. Cake, Phone, Harry 13. Same White Shirt 14. Now That It’s Over 15. A Word We’ve Only Heard 16. No Chance At All 17. (Make You Want To) Scream 18. Nothing Please Me More Than You 19. Let Me Make It Better 20. My Cup of Tea

21. (And Things Will Be) Hard at Times 22. Mistaken Identity with like the entire group chat 23. Wait for the End to Change 24. If It’s Meant To Be (It’ll Be, It’ll Be) 25. You Can Read Me Anything 26. (This Could Be Forever) Right Now 27. Will Love Be There 28. With You In Your Dreams 29. Couldn’t See Past Me, Till I Saw You 30. All I Want Is To Be Free 31. One Taste And He Want It 32. Better Walk That (Pap) Walk, Baby with @suddenclarityharry 33. Love So Soft 34. Got This Feeling In Our Souls 35. We’re Both Stubborn (Two Hearts in One Home) 36. Before I Knew That I Had Begun 37. A Real Work of Art 38. You Can’t Blame Me For Tryin’ 39. Christmas at the Holly Lodge 40. You’ve Got My Heart

Okay, and now I’m exhausted. You still with me? Bless you.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

@someonethatsfunny actually asked me a few months ago what work I’m most proud of, and I truly don’t know. I’m super proud of (Make You Want To) Scream, because bodyswap is hella hard to write, fam, and I DID IT. I’m proud of my reverse bang, All I Want Is To Be Free, because it was the first time I’d ever really teamed up with an artist like that. I wrote my first historical AU, my first ABO, my first cowrites, my first…A LOT of things, and all of them stretched me so incredibly so I’m not really sure which one I’m most proud of.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I dunno. I have some that I’ve forgotten I wrote this year, but I am still proud of it because have you ever published 40 fics in a year? Just the fact I was able to do that has me patting myself on the back, so yeah. There are some I don’t like as much, but I’m damn proud for what I was able to publish this year.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

They walked past a street performer, Louis completely focused on the church. Rather than walking to the entrance though, Harry first guided Louis towards another corner.

“This part here? It’s completely black like this because it’s the only part of the building that remained standing after the bombing. They were able to salvage it and recreate it as best they could to look like the original.”

Louis leaned in closer to Harry, as if he needed to physically feel him there with him.

“The Hofkirche and the Kreuzkirche are both incredible in their own way, and according to most, none of these churches can even begin to inspire you or impress you in the way that other cathedrals, like the Cologne Cathedral, do, but the Frauenkirche?” Harry paused here as he tried to pull his thoughts together. “I feel like she’s the perfect symbol of Dresden. Of people in general. So often we find ourselves having to rebuild and start from scratch when plans we had hoped and planned on fall through, but even if we are only left with some stones and the corner of the building, we can be strong again.”

Louis was no longer looking at the church but was looking at Harry.

“Well shit, Haz. Is that what you said when you did your episode on Dresden?”

Harry rubbed his hand nervously through his hair before wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulders. Harry couldn’t help pulling Louis even closer than he already was, and Louis didn’t resist. He moved his Döner to his right hand and wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist.

“No.” Harry swallowed roughly before placing a soft kiss in Louis’ hair. “No, that’s the special version only you get.”

Louis tilted his head back, his blue eyes studying Harry intently. “I like that I get the special version,” he whispered.

From If It’s Meant To Be (It’ll Be, It’ll Be)

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Oh gosh. I love so many different comments and there were some this year that truly brought me to tears, but some of my favorites were on Validation. It floors me still that people took what I wrote in a fic and started to actually put it into play in their lives. Something that I wrote inspired them to change how they approached some situations and that just…wow. Incredible.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Honestly, most of this year writing was my therapy. It was how I coped with everything life was throwing at me, but the hardest time for me writing wise was this month. I wasn’t feeling inspired, I was having a crazy hard time even carving out ten minutes to write, and I was exhausted all the time. Even with that, though, I was able to write two fics, so I’m proud of myself for pushing through. Especially since I now have five million ideas of things to write again haha

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Oof. Uhm…like everything? For real. So many times I was writing and things happened that I didn’t anticipate or plan for and it turned out better than I ever imagined.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

SO MANY WAYS. My big goal for writing this year was to write more, and HOLY MOTHER DID I WRITE MORE. In talking with @briannamarguerite, she mentioned once that writing is a muscle and it can be strengthened when you use it more, and through this year I absolutely agree. I started the year off with a challenge I did with a group of people who became incredible friends (shout out to wordplay peeps @a-writerwrites, @taggiecb, @becomeawendybird, @afirethatcannotdie, @dinosaursmate, @phd-mama, @londonfoginacup, and @allwaswell16!) to write a fic a week, all using the same one word prompt, and that kind of set up the average I ended up keeping through the rest of the year of publishing a fic about every week and a half. I also branched out on tropes I had never written before, tried co-writing, different structures for fics, etc. I feel like this year was a huge one for trying new things and going out of my comfort zone, so I’m actually really incredibly proud of myself for all the ways I feel like I grew this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to focus on the quality I’m putting out. I worked on quantity and telling myself I could do it, so now I want to focus a little more on editing myself really well. Being really happy with not just the story I’m putting out, but the way it’s written. I also am finally publishing a fic I’ve been working on, off and on, since 2015 next year, and that’s the longest fic I’ve written to date, so lots of ways for me to try to stretch myself still!

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh holy mother. @silentlarryshipper as a massive support for keeping me going at the beginning of the year for sure! I couldn’t have done this without her. All the wordplay peeps I mentioned above as well. @becomeawendybird, @gettingaphdinlarry, and @briannamarguerite for being the best, most brutal and thorough betas ever, I love all you guys SO DAMN MUCH! And without a doubt every last one of the ladies not already mentioned who were more than willing to yell encouragement at me, even when I was being ridiculous: @freetheankles, @dinosaursmate, @haloeverlasting, @indiaalphawhiskey, @dimpled-halo, @a-writerwrites, @suddenclarityharry, @londonfoginacup!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Oh yes. My love story to Dresden has all my true feelings for the city, some of the ridiculous scenes from the mpregs i wrote are personal stories of my own, a lot of locations are from my own life, etc.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don’t give up and find yourself a support crew! Having multiple writing support group chats was one of the best things to come out of this entire year for me. The other people you surround yourself with can make the biggest difference as to whether a project gets finished or not.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

oh yes! currently i have a to write or to publish list of:

wibbly wobbly, timey wimey fic (which might be my big bang after all)

a couple birthday fics to come

Marcel exchange fic

ABO exchange fic

a flicker album fic

a fic based off of Charlie Puth’s song attention

so we’ll see how that all turns out. lol

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

if you were tagged in this and haven’t done it already, please consider yourself tagged now! (or if you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged and want to, please tag me and say I told you to do it! I want to read your answers!!) OH and I would also love to hear from @justalittlelouislove :D

#mine #writing stuff #about me #this was so long #i'm sorry #but I LOVE THIS TOO #so there's that #fic stuff

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wickednerdery · 7 years

Photo

“Com’on, stop being such a gloomy cunt,” Daven smiled over his beer. “You’ve been like this for over a month and, quite frankly, it’s starting to kill my post-breakup buzz.”

Orson just blinked, then sighed. “Yeah, well, maybe I can’t just turn it off like you.”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” This was the first time he’d truly felt guilt in a way that had nothing to do with concern about punishment or mildly disappointing another, but everything to do with knowing he’d done a terrible thing instead. He hated it, it made him sick and angry and utterly disinterested in the world. He’d driven some poor girl to kill herself; he was responsible for the death of her and her child...one that was, possibly, also his own. They were dead, Layla had to be institutionalized, and he was free to roam the world virtually without consequence.

“Oh, I see,” Daven set his drink aside. “This is all on you, ‘s got nothing to do with the desperate girl up the duff tryin’ to blackmail your ass into marriage just so she could live the sweet life.”

“You don’t know anything about it.”

“The fuck I don’t, she was my fiancee.” He downed his beer, tapped the bar for another. “What’d she tell ya? I tossed her ‘cause she was preggo?” He smirked that Shaw smirk. “I tossed her ‘cause she sucked and fucked half the blokes in London and, honestly, seems like a bad sign for the marriage.” He chuckled. “Not our fuckin’ fault her shitty ploy didn’t work.”

“And Layla?”

“Was always fuckin’ bonkers anyway,” Daven shrugged out into his new brew. He had nothing against his little cousin, but she was weird. “That shit was just a matter of time.”

Orson sighed. “You’re a fuck.”

“Poor you, deep fuckin’ soul surrounded by prats.”

“I didn’t turn in my own brother and take his birthright for being a mutant.”

Daven’s face fell, turned dark as he glared. “Fuck you, Orson.”

“I didn’t,” Orson insisted calmly, pressing into the sore spot he’d found.

"If you truly fuckin’ believe that I’d be really sodding careful if I was you.”

Orson straightened up, glared. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m not as fuckin’ naive as Dad you stone-skined little twat. I know exactly what the fuck you are,” the elder Shaw boy growled out so only Orson could hear. “You wanna start shit with me I’ll smash this bottle in your face so everyone else can see what I fucking do.”

Orson went quiet, unsure.

“That’s what I thought,” Daven set the bottle back down, sighed. All three of them never got along very well for very long, but he still didn’t think Orson saw him like that. Like their dad. He’d turned in Calder as a mutant, yes, but not for being one. He did it because Calder had grown increasingly dangerous, because he was talking about brotherhoods and apocalypses and violent mutant revolutions. “Jesus fuck you buggered my whole sodding night with this bullshit. Ya know what? Just...” he downed his latest drink. “Go get buggered.” With that he headed out, leaving Orson to sit and mope as he watched his brother leave.

Daven was at the door when a pretty blond entered and, like fresh air, lifted his spirits immediately. He smiled. “’Ello, luv.”

She smiled back, but the man with her did not. “Crossed lines, move along.”

There was a split second Daven thought to fight him on it - he needed a good row as much as a good shag to shake off the shit he’d been through lately - but decided against it realizing he might well loose and not completely certain Orson would come to his aid if need be.

“Ever wanna have more fun than Daddy here’ll allow come back around sometime, yeah?” Just because he didn’t want to fight didn’t mean he’d just give up either.

The woman only nodded, smile still in place, before Daven shrugged and exited into the night...nearly tripping off the curb as he continued to watch the woman head into the bar.

Final part of the 3-parter based in Orson’s past - around his university years - Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here; this is, altogether, a follow-up to this earlier piece. As much as it’s a sorta character development/backstory piece it’s also related to future pieces with him (and @wadeyourebarelyalive‘s Diana) and is a sorta cornerstone event in his life. Daven is the middle brother (Calder the eldest, Orson the youngest), totally human, and portrayed by Michael Sheen. He’s also Oliver’s father and, sadly, dead by modern times so I’m not sure you’ll see much of him again, lol!

Main Story: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 (NSFW) Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 (NSFW) Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 (NSFW) Part 82 (NSFW) Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86

(Teen!Orson Prequel, Ash NSFW Prequel Piece, St Patrick’s Day Prequel, Dusty’s Trauma Extra)

(First gif from @ben-mendelsohn-trash and resized by me, second found on Google.)

Because they may care: @zoesmama2024 @wadeyourebarelyalive @crazytxgradstudent @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers …Wanna be tagged, just lemme know!

#X-men #mutants #brotherhood of mutants #marvel universe #oc: Orson #oc: Diana #oc: Daven #oc #original character #oc: Calder #oc: Layla #Prequel #fanfiction #my writing #not my gifs #faceclaim

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rbbtrd · 7 years

Text

I Love Healing

i wrote this when i was tryin to vent but i have no idea how to fuckin vent so instead i. tried to write out healings entire bg lmao a lot of brain stuff was goin on so it might not b. the best piece of literature uve ever read

some misc facts and other htings might b missing bc (points at how fucked my brain was and also how fuckin VAST healings character is and how much development he has)

//warnin theres kinda crass and sensitive language or whatever and there will b mentions of diff kinds of abuse in his story and other not good things under cut so my bad but i wasnt in a good state of mind and tryin to tag n warn u abt it all is skjncfdvav plus this was a vent post for me originally anyways lmao

//another warning lmao under the cut is a Wall Of Text there is a LOT of stuff under cut like 6000+ words so like. warned ya my pals

healing is my favorite fuckin oc and p much. why i fuckin stay alive sknfsef he means so so much to me and has so much meaning to me and is very very very very very very very important to me i fucking Love healing okay i project a lot (i.e All Of Myself) onto healing so he is p much almost quite literally me and vice versa but also not rlly??? its weird and complicated lmao i Love this man tho no one will ever love him more than i do i will fuckin Fight you hes so improtant to me

he is 57 yrs old, his birthday is march 17 but also dec 5th (its complicated) but mostly march 17, his favorite color is red not only bc im projecting but his first loves fav color was also red, he is 5″7 ft tall, hes very silly and kooky and tries his best to become happy and heal and learn and atone for what hes done and expereinced, he LOVES the sea and the ocean and anything relating them like the sea/ocean is very very very important to him for multiple reasons, also loves rabbits and goats and has 2 pet goats (i like to call em his service animals lol)

healing was born to both pure blood tiefling parents, his mother was a servant/slave that belonged on a ship and his father basically just knocked her up, he never met or knew anything about his father other than that he was a tiefling and misc stuff his mom/other servants had told him. his dad is mordecai ahkrah and hes chaotic evil and genuinely a very fucking awful person, his mom is ariarei kallies and is just?? kinda a chatoic neutral, maybe more of a lawful evil, but she has a very bad selfish personality and nasty. she holds no maternal feelings for healing and only sees him as a nuisance and only takes care of him (taking care of him means. The Bare Minimum. i.e- makin sure hes just Not Dead) bc she has to and kinda forcced to. healing does not see ariarei as his mother, but “as the woman who birthed me / brought me into this world” and stuff like that and therefore holds no feelings towards her like a child would w their mother, over the years, healing considers the ocean/sea as his mother more than ariarei and is more emotionally connected to the sea

healings mom actually never named him, he was nameless/had no name up until the age of 27-28. both his mom and the owners of the ship and whoever hired him always only ever called him “boy”, “child”, “it”, “thing”, “errand boy”, “chore boy”, and names like that bc he never had a name and no one bothered to give him one. both his mom and the owners/ppl who hired him treated him very very poorly and did abuse him frequently in many different ways and manners (lmao projects myself onto my oc) so he has a lot of feelings and experiences w lots of kinds of traumas and abuse

he most specifically received a lot of physical abuse especially from ppl and verbal abuse, some but not too much emotional abuse, and also a handful of sexual abuse. at the time, he thought it was fine and normal and did not realized he was being abused bc “this is just how life is” bc he had literally. never heard of or experienced anything else other than a shit life.

he didnt rlly think anything of the poor treatment or the abuse bc this was all he ever knew, he grew up this way, so he thought it was normal and thought everyone didnt feel anything and if they did OF COURSE theyd b negative feelings, bc thats all u (healing at the time) r capable of feeling. he doesnt get out of this mentality until hes around 18-22

he receives a handful of scars and marks from his time as a servant, he got his first scar when he was a literal Baby bc he was cryin out and his ma got mad and upset abt and scratched his face thus resulting in his lip scar. when he was like 5-7 he met this other servant kid who had The Very Opposite mindset he had and was v bright and optimistic and he dragged healing along when he played and he broke smth and healing took the cover not bc he wanted to save this kid but bc it would be less troublesome bc then the current owner would only have to punish 1 child and the other kid was well liked on the ship unlike healing so then the morale of the servants wouldnt be affected. the owner beat him up p bad but it Wasnt Enough so he smashed healings face into the wooden boards so hard it Broke The Board and also broke his right horn, this also gave his scarring above his brow and stuff up to the broken horn. another prominent scar he has that holds memory to him is the scar on his chest above his heart, where he got that from a case where he was sexually abused and his abuser threatened to tear out his heart if he kept bein a brat. he has NO SCARS on his tail tho, but thats literally bc up until he was w morgan, he was just Lucky in not havin his tail injured. from the time he met morgan and beyond, he then started to actively protect his tail from harm and from ppl touchin it bc morgan said he rlly liked his tail and how it looked and how cool it was and from then on hes liek Oh

he constantly worked when he was of age to and started w small things and worked up to doin manual labor and other things, he only stayed w his mom up until the age of 11-12, after that they were separately sold to different ships and never saw eaqch other again. from that point on, he was switched around a few different ships and buyers, but was otherwise was still just treated as cargo and property like he had been the past few years.

the ship he was on at the age of 17 was stopped and liberated by a man named morgan wake (also can be written as morgain), a human sailor captain (some kind of good, leanin on neutral or chaotic) who specializes in trade, cargo, and just transportation, but also will sell his abilities to fight/go into war or battle and liberates slave ships on his free time lol morgan becomes a Very Very Very important person to healing and is ESSENTIAL to shaping healing into who he is now. healing slowly falls in love with morgan over the years, but never tells morgan abt these feelins bc 1) he doesnt kno what the FUCk hes feelin lmao this boy has only experienced negative emotions and feelings up until he met morgan and 2) he thinks morgan will think hes weird or wrong or gross or smth. healing had absolutealy NO PLACE and NO ONE to go to after he was liberated so morgan saw this and was like Hey. You Should Come Work Under Me For MY Ship. morgan is a BIG BIG BIG guy on justice and equality and stuff for ALL PEOPLE and EVERYONE so this is also a reason why he let healing onto his ship of mostly humans and half-elves and halflings and also this part abt morgan rubs off on healing so healing also becomes a big guy on justice and equality and stuff

the ship morgan owns is a Lil prejudiced againt tieflings so they arent jumpin for joy when morgan makes healing his first mate at the age of 19 bc theyre. Gently Racist over tieflings but morgan kicks their ass and makes healing his first mate and right hand man anyways. at this point, healing is still nameless bc morgan tells him “i cant give you a name, a name is really important, its your identity and what makes you YOU, its ur soul and ur dreams and ur hopes, its YOU, you hear a name and u think of that person etc etc etc” and rlly cheesy stuff like that pertaining to names so morgan is Vehemently against naming healing and instead calls him “buddy”, “pal”, “friend”, “best friend”, “first mate”, “mate”, and other various nicknames made over the years. he was very adamant on having healing name himself and refused to call him by a name that someone else gave him bc healing told him abt his mom and how he said that his mom wasnt rlly a mother in the first place

morgan knows Everything abt healing and healing w him vice versa bc when they first met and healing was still in his Uhm Nothing Matters Ill Tell You Everything mindset, he told morgan the story abt all his scars and what has happened to him up until that point and what people have done to him. morgan is truly very genuinely heartbroken over this?? bc healing was just Born into this world of shit and awful things that he didnt deserve and also the fact that healing just spoke of his abuse so freely and casually as if it meant nothing and didnt matter and healings view on his own life and life in general due to how he has lived so far and morgan makes it his personal mission to help healing grow out of this and start to become more Alive and less :| and :/ abt life

morgan becomes very important for and to healing bc like. he literally taught healing Emotions and how amazing and happy and good life can be. morgan taught healing how to Be Alive and Want To Be Alive and how to Feel. before when he was a servant, he was literally just a Shell and genuinely thought life was Supposed to just be inherently shitty and ur suposed to always expereince bad htings and ALWAYS feel ONLY bad negative emotions and feelings.he thought that if he died, it wouldnt matter AT ALL bc he would easily b replaced by another servant and his life had literally no meaning and he genuinely thought he would die before the age of 20 and he was Okay with that he thought it was fine he thought it was okay to not expect to live past 20-25 and etc etc etc.

when he saved healing, morgain was already quite old-ish?? he was 30 yrs old when healing (at the time, age 17) met him. healnig didnt rlly start to fall in love until around age 19 just some time b4 morgan made him first mate. over the years that healing is on morgans ship, he becomes who he is bc of morgan and he learns things abt himself and who he is and builds himself bc of morgan and he becomes who healing is in these very moments that he spends with morgan and rightly falls in love because of it bc morgan Saved Him from so many things. morgan took an empty husk and shell of a man that had Began as empty and put smth in it. he had breathed life into an empty bag and made music, he had taken a broken branch and carved a nice ass figure. morgan took something with nothing and gave him Everything. healing has such a strong connection and attachment to morgan yall cant even begin to understsand it. Runs So Deep in healing, this lov and feeling and attachment he has to morgan

morgan also rlly rlly rlly Rlly likes and appreciates healing and actually also loves healing in the same way, but doesnt tell healing for the same reasons why healing wont tell morgan. they spend the next 10 yrs basically unknowingly pining over each other bc theyre too fuckin afraid to tell each other bc they think the other is gonna b homophobic and its Awful. but also like. sailors back in the day were Rlly Gay so healing and morgan have had their fair share of mutual masturbation and Very Gay Activities w each other bu they were never in the context of romance or in a relationship beyond like. Rlly Rlly Good Best Friends lmao like sex friends but better??

bc healing. was never fuckin educated lmao he doesnt kno how to read or write. over the years he spends with morgan, he BARELY understand the alphabet tbh. he can like,,,,,, understand certain words but he doesnt recognize those words as words they register kinda like symbols in his head. numbers r even WORSE for healing lmao. like he understands map terms north, east, west, south, map, longitude/latitude, etc etc but he recognizes the words as like pictures or symbols in his head that relate to object or meaning or smth, kinda how u see a lil pic of a tree and u recognize it as a tree, thats him w words. healing was morgans first mate and co-captain for 10 years, he often went with morgan to negotiations and business meetings and trades and etc etc etc healing is VERY good w his words bc of this and is actually rlly smart and intelligent and wise. he just cant read or write lol. he has a +0 intelligence on his sheet but a +3 wisdom

healing lives the next 10 yrs of his life after being liberated at the age of 17 to 27 w morgan and his ship and his crew and hes enjoying himself and livin it to the fullest and hes happy and its so good and all is well, but also keep in mind that healing, through out all of these 10 yrs, has STILL not have a name for himself yet. BUT morgan HAS given healing a seashell necklace as well as his ear piercings. he wears these items everyday and they hold like. a lot of emotional important and support for him

but then morgan dies LMAO morgan dies at the age of 40 when healing is 27 and he dies from both sickness from old age (bc sailors back then. died p early skdjfnwsndv) and also from an injury wound he had gotten when in battle earlier that month. morgans death strikes his crew very harshly but without a doubt everyone on the ship agreed that healing was the MOST hurt and affected and shaken from morgans death. morgans last words and also his will states that he wanted healing to become the new captain of the ship. healing doesnt rlly become the new captain bc hes too busy mourning over his death for the next yr.

morgan and healing NEVER tell each other abt their feelings for one another, so morgan dies with this regret of never saying anything and healing lives with the regret of never saying anything before he died. this plays into how healing chose his name

after his mourning and grieving period he starts to slowly collect himself and in this period of time, this is where he finally chooses his name. he thinks abt how morgan was never able to call him by a proper name despite how important names were to morgan, so as hes starting to heal from his death, he picks his own name for himself. he debated on choosing his name as love, bc he loved morgan but never told him despite the fact that morgan quite literally taught him how to love. but he decides on the name healing bc he also thought abt how morgan said how he wanted to help healing start to mend and heal from all the trauma and abuse hes been through and healing sort of just shoved love into that process of healing, therefore That Is His Name Now. his name is now like. an important memoir of morgan as well as like. His Name. his name now holds a very hefty important weight and meaning to him now.

when morgan dies, he makes a lot of vows to himself like how hell never love someone again and how he would keep up morgans work and how he would keep morgans policy of justice and equality and how he would never treat people the way he was treated as a servant and how he would never hurt someone on purpose. after morgans death, he starts to like. hoard items he thinks morgan would have liked and then eventually this just turns from “hoarding for morgan” to “depression coping hoarding” and he just hoards things he thinks has some use or worth of value (which is like. Everything lmao so he never throws stuff away)

the ship crew are not All That Happy that healing is their new captain, but they really did intensely respect and appreciated morgan both as a captain and an individual so they abide by his will and last words and let healing be captain despite the fact that they thought hed b bad at it. but Surprise Surprise healing is actually rlly rlly good at being a captain bc he spent 10 yrs by morgans side and he knows how to do everything rlly well and the crew r kind of surprised and apologize for sterotypin him and for being so prejudiced and not trustin him and etc etc etc and healing is happy for another long while bc now he has like?? a family?? this crew was now his family and he loved everyone on this ship and they loved him?? he was Rlly Good at what he did bc he took over morgans work of trade and also liberating ships and sellin his time to fight for ppl and he was super close to his crew and they grew closer over the yrs and they give him a seashell bracelet similar to how morgan gave him the necklace and earrings so now healing has like. a physical object to associate his emotional relationship and feelings and shit to like he did for morgan w the necklace and earrings

but ofc knowin me its time to Fuck Him Over Again lmao over the yrs while hes in his 30s hes gets like. Rlly Rlly Rlly well known for his deeds and his work and actions so he gets super popular and he has. A Lotta Sex and is Very Well Known for sex and also his dick lol and also sometimes got into. not so hot relationships. at current time right now, age of 57, healing has 5 children he isnt aware of bc he left the other person before they even Knew they were pregnant. he was rlly good with not letting his partner get pregnant but accidents happen lmao sometimes he let the fame and popularity get to his head so he was kind of a Cocky Narcissistic Dick sometimes

a total of 5 times during his 30s he got himself into. very bad toxic abusive manipulative relationships. these 5 people were all very similar in what they did to healing and how they did it to him. in each of these 5 cases, both healing and his crew reacted the same. when u hang out w manipulative bad ppl, u kinda become manipulative and bad urself, and thats what happened w healing and his crew. these 5 ppl preyed on the fact that healing was emotionally very weak and vulnerable to romantic affection and intimacy and how he had a Rlly Rlly Big Fear of losing people he loved or cared about. they made him care abt them and threatened to leave him if he didnt do what they wanted, as well as abuse him in other different manners physically, emotionally (BIG TIME emotional abuse), verbally, and mentally. during the itme he was in these relationships w these ppl, healing was very much not like his usual self, hes a chatoic neutral but when w theswe ppl he was like?? lawful evil?? true evil?? he became Rlly Bad and did Rlly Bad things that, now in current day time he regrets deeply and feels.

when he was in these relationships, they made him break a lot of the vows he took when morgan died or else theyd do smth to him or to themself ot to his crew or smth like that and it haunts him to this very day abt how he could have done those things to those people despite the fact that the same was done to him and how he NEVER wanted to do that to other people. it dredges bad things up in his memories and in his heart and he has nightmares abt both his traumas and abuse as well as the traumas and abuse hes made others go through. these people hurt him very deeply in his 30s and scarred him emotionally and mentally more intensely than the people that mistreated him when he was a servant

his 30s was a. Rollercoaster tbh. he went thru very intense and frequent highs and lows bc the time when he was with these people they were his Very Very Low Lows and when he wasnt with them and just doing his job w his crew and livin life he was very happy and his life took on a Very Good High. as he got a lil older at the age of 37 he was doing good and it was a high during his lifetime and that point and when he was 37 he was actually on his ship hunting down a bandit/pirate ship bc someone had bought his ships and effort to help them track down this ship

he has a lot of adventures in his 30s and goes thru so many things and and thru so many situations and so many people and encountered just. A Lot Of Stuff in General. hes experienced probs like. 2 lifetime of experiences and shit by the age of 37 lmao but he wouldnt trade any of these experiences, good or bad, for ANYTHING in the world

but sadly (bc i love makin his life so full of angst) as hes chasing this ship, a Rlly Big Storm comes by and fuckin. WRECKS his ship. absolutely obliterates it. it catches fire and tons of his crew members r jumpin off and panicking and the ship is falling apart and hes so AAAAAAAAAAAAA rn. in the future, the imagery of a sunken or turned up or just in general not normal 100% functioning ship is very unsettling to him and triggers this rlly bad memory. also Rlly Rlly Rlly BIG BIG fires unsettle him very badly and makes him Extremely Uncomfortable but it doesnt rlly trigger this bad memory as much as broken ships do

healing is knocked from the ship and passed out and when he awakes hes on the shore with the remains of wood from his ship along the shore and he is. absolutely broken. he lost his Whole Family in one night and yet he was the one who didnt die?? he assumes everyone on his crew ship died (even tho some survived but he has yet to encounter them) and he was the only one who survived and at the moment he HATED this fact. he hated that he was left to live and he reverts back to his mindset that he had when he was younger how his life didnt matter and etc etc etc

hes also??????????? SUPER upset and heartbroken that the sea was the one who did this to him. the ocean, to which he was born and raised on (he has never lived on land in the past 37 yrs of his life, hes been on land and stayed overnight at inns or smth and stuff but hes never Lived anywhere on land and thinks houses r Weird bc hes lived on a boats and ships for 37 yrs kjefnvslefv), the ocean to which he considered his real mother, the ocean that granted him so much freedom from so much of the things that hes experienced, the ocean to which he was so deeply emotionally connected to and how much the sea had meant to him. he knows he cannot control the sea and accepts that the sea had sunken his ship but that doesnt mean hes not going to still feel sad and shitty abt it lol

he Basically has a meltdown at this shore and cursin at how he should have been the one to die in this wreck and passes out bc. exhaustion and etc lmao. and then in comes Love Interest #2, noel, a neutral good wood elf monk who, just like morgan, is a very free spirit and very kind and reminds healing just enough of morgan to make his heart start to feel something again

noel sees this tieflin dude passed out on the beach and is like. Oh. Thats Not Good. and he goes to help him out and brings him back to his campsite to patch him up and heal his wounds and take care of him and nurture him back to health a bit until healing wakes up.

healing is like HWHA and is like uhhhh thnks but i gotta Go Now bc Yet Again in this mnoment he vows a bunch of other shit like how hell live a life of solitude and never involve himself w others bc he thinks of himself as a harbinger of bad things and chaos and doom and misfortune follows him and how everyone he loves or tells them abt his life/story dies

but noel is too friendly and caring to just Let Him Go and hes just rlly interested in healing just as an individual and just also wants a companion to travel w bc hes just like a wandering monk who weaves in and out of woods and forests and villages and stuff

fast forward- after a Lot of effort and A Lot of time and A Lot of trust and such, healing slowly Very Very Slowly opens up to noel about himself and his life and what hes gone though and all of the sort of bad and good things hes experienced and grows closer to him and they fall in llove with each other and its both mutual and healing is like “wow??? being in love is so nice?? this is such a good feeling?? i love noel and he loves me back and we can kiss and hug and do stuff and both of us know we are doing this out of mutual romantic attraction??????????” and this is like. A Brand New Feeling for healing bc his relationship and love for morgan was 100% unrequited

noel basically becomes healings teacher tbh since noel is a monk he teaches healing the way of bein a monk most specifically the way of the 4 elements. noel is a master of the way of the 4 elements, but is best w earth and air, healing has such a strong attachment to the water and a close relation with fire so hes naturally like. rlly good w those 2 lmao he catches on real quick despite the fact that. only noel is teaching him and neither of them belong to a temple or have a temple to go to lmao

as time goes on both healing and noel are like. kinda famous monks that travel through the land and are well known bc healing was already previously well known as a rlly rlly cool famous captain and now he kinda dropped off the face of the earth for like 5 yrs but now hes back w noel and he looks a lil diff now bc hes older and his hairs a lil longer but ppl are aware that hes healing

its all good and healing is enjoying life real nice rn and hes happy once again and hes in love with noel and noel is in love with healing and its so good and healing is traveling again but also like. up until he was 37 yrs old he was like livin at sea on a ship. so when he goes along w noel when they travel through the woods on land its kinda Weird for him bc hes like. Never Been On Land For This Long lmao

from the moment he was stranded on that beach to right now in his current time, healing ALWAYS has smth of the sea/ocean w him ALWAYS it is a must and he has to have it for multiple reasons and most of the reasons are for like. safety reasons?? theyre like his safety items it calms him down and soothes him in multiple ways like emotionally and mentally. he ALWAYS has at LEAST 1 (one) bottle or flask or SOMETHING filled w sea water he always has some sea water on him, he also just. collects a MASSIVE amount of shells and sea glass and any other things u could find on the beach or sea he always has some of this stuff on him for comfort and stuff

like with all of the deep and intimate and important and emotional relationships in his life, noel gives healing smth that he can attach noel to emotionally and etc etrc etc. noel gives healing tattoos that are like monk tattoos and symbolize what he does best on his back i.e fire and water and also a few like. just fun lil casual tattoos to make healing and himself happy like a boat and anchor on his wrist and stuff and healing is like Oh Gee Hope Nothing Bad Happens

but smth bad does happen lol. after 10 literal yrs (healing is now 47) theyre in the woods camping out and etc etc etc and its like the dead of night and theyre sleepin in their tents and its good and all but then some bandits or smth just pass by their site and decide “hey. lets fuckin loot this place and fuck shit up” and they do and engage in combat w noel and healing and its just a series of unfortunate events and bad luck and timing and long story short these bandits do lethal and fatal damage to noel but healing manages to fend em off and they go running and now healing is kneeling over the dying body of his lover

noel literally dies in healings arms and this event triggers all of his previous mental state and mindset from before abt how hes a harbinger of bad things and how everyone he loves does and he only brings misfortune and hes liike “y do the ppl around me die???? y cant *I* be the one to die for once??? wtf????” and he feels so many emotions and is so ANGRY at himself bc This Just Keeps happening and the people he loves just keep Getting Hurt and he cries and buries noel and makes a grave and does a lot of sentimental stuff and mourns and just stays where he is in the woods for like. weeks until his supplies runs out and he finally leaves the area of the forest hes in with a heavy… Everything slkdfnvsdkfs fvhesfdnviksfd hes RLLY intensely emotionally and mentally fucked now

he makes the same kinds of vows as before again plus some but now its even STRONGER. he Will Not EVER fall in love ever again, he will never tell anyone ANYTHING abt him thats not surface level info, he takes up his old vows like never hurt ppl on purpose and never treating him the way he was treated and how he will upkeep his code of justice and equality, and how he will NEVER EVER have any deep relationships and friendships and he will keep them very surface level and how he will keep everyone at like an arms distance and a half from him

and so he mourns over his lost loved ones and is just a fuckin angsty emotionally shut and locked up traveling tiefling monk and hes alone and just. travels bc he feels like if he stays in one place too long he might bring misfortune to the ppl around him and he just. BASICALLY keeps this up for ANOTHER 10 yrs dsfkjvnsenfvedv je travels around EVERYWHERE and the first few years he tried his best to avoid rlly thick wooded areas and the sea but eventually he grew and healed a bit more and allowed himself to get on boats again and go thru forests and woods

healing chose his name bc he wanted to heal and grown and change and become a better person and try his best to just be as happy as he could be and to atone for what hes done and just. try to get thru life at this point. and make sure he leaves people better than when he meets them and to make sure everyone he encounters have AT LEAST a Not Bad impression of him. so thats basically what his goal is after noel dies and he just travels on his own and in solitude and he nevers takes along a companion and is jsut by himself and quite literally isolates himself all the time. he keeps the people he talks to at an arm and a halfs distance, he never lets them know anything below surface level info abt him, he like?? basically puts on a front and all but he is still genuinely friendly and likes to talk to ppl he just. doesnt want them to know any like Substantial Info abt him or kno him beyond surface level and stuff

after some time tho he meets a man named elias aka MAN OF THE HOUR aka my datefriends oc and he jsut?? will NOT leave healing alone he just WILL NOT go away and he basically just. is forcibly at healings side as they travel and healing just CANNOT get rid of him and elias is just with him and hes trying to pry thru healings massive amounts of layers and walls and barriers and etc etc etc and ofc he does this respectfully hes not like. forcing his way into healings life and forcing healing to tell him abt his life he just. wants to kno more abt him and is very genuinely attracted to this man in many many ways

healing realizes he cant force elias to go away and is just like (shrugs) ok w/e guess i cant get rid of u and tries to keep his walls and his front up but he just finds himself getting rlly comfortable w elias?? he finds his presence soothing and stuff bc hes been alone for the past previous yrs and now he has a companion again and its a rlly nice feeling and they grow a lil closer bit by bit over time

more time passes on and eventually, in the middle of a mental break/meltdown, healing just. Spills Everything to elias like. All Of His Life from the moment he was born until this current faction in time where hes sobbing into elias’ arm about his whole life and he feels kind of better and its okay for a while and he just passes out in elias’ arms but then he wakes up and has a panic attack and is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TOLD THIS MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW OR HELL DIE I RLLY LIKE HIM THO I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE and he faces the facts that he 1) likes elias 2) is very internally and mentally fukt 3) is internally rlly fuckin secretive and tries to hide everythin abt himself and 4) is Dyin Real Bad for multiple reasons

elias tries to reassure healing and tries to tell him everything will be fine and he wont die and etc etc etc and stuff and from this point on forward healing and elias are much closer and continue to get closer until theyre basically in a relationship and its difficult tbh bc healing rlly wants to leave elias out of his fear but elias stays w him and its a long proccess and journey for healing to learn how to properly cope w all of the things hes felt and experienced and grow and heal and etc et ect

eventually fast forward in time, at the age of 57, healing is MARRIED to elias :’’) and they r in love and everything is okay and healing has and is continuing to learn how to accept what hes done and how to properly cope and deal w things and have less walls and barriers and be better and elias is one of his MOST important relationships to him, on par w morgan and noel, and its all good and happy and healing lives the rest of his life out w elias and dies happy and etc etc etc and its all just GREAT and also their shipname is heelies bc its funny lmao

i left out a lotta details but fuckin. whatever lmao

anyways i love healing thnk u and good night

#oc:healing #time for some fucking HOT ASS meta and bg info about this boy lmao #i would die for healing

4 notes · View notes

meepface · 7 years

Text

feelin very depresso tonight n tryin not to be dum, ignore this

1. is this the best year of your life?

oh easily the worst

2. what was the first thing you did when you woke up?

honestly i kept setting my alarm to snooze until i only had 15 minutes to get ready and then i took 25 minutes bc 15 is not enough and was late to class

3. the person you like is?

my gf caitlin

4. is anything bothering you?

definitely but i should probably just let it go

5. does anyone annoy you?

definitely

6. would you like things to go ‘back to normal’ with a certain someone?

yeah but i’m getting the feeling it won’t

7. what was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i was talking to my gf

8. is life good?

i mean generally speaking yes but at the moment, not at all

9. do you remember who you liked on new years?

yeah my gf

10. do you still like them?

yeah

11. do you still speak to them?

yeah i just texted her like a few minutes ago

12. told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else?

a few times

13. are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?

yesss

14. do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?

no it was my mom

15. would you go out with someone right now if they asked?

no i have a girlfriend

16. three days from now will you be in a relationship?

yes

17. if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?

not really lmao they should know i have a girlfriend and i don’t want to be put in that awkward situation where they like me and i don’t like them back

18. have you kissed anyone in the last month?

yes

19. what was the last reason you went to the doctor for?

i had to get an ultrasound lmfao

20. do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?

i loooove it but not if it’s the whole day and i have nothing at all to do

21. would you ever kiss anyone you texted today?

yes and i did today lmao

22. do you have any bruises on you?

yeah my gf gave me a hickey on my thigh like a week maybe two ago and it literally is still there

23. how was 2011 for you?

i was embarrassing and annoying and in my emo phase but i am sure i was fine

24. how late did you stay up last night and why?

like midnight talking to Caitlin

25. do you ever get good morning texts from anyone?

sometimes but they make me really happy when i do get them!!

26. do you regret anything you’ve done lately?

probably

27. what woke you up today?

my alarm

28. what makes you happy?

my friends n my family n my gf n my therapist lmfao

29. ever kissed on a boat?

nah but i’d like to

30. have you ever been told that you are amazing?

yes

31. finish this sentence: the last person i kissed is…

my girlfriend, we made out for a while and then took a nap and it started raining and we got boba smoothies and it was a nice time

32. this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

my girlfriend

33. do you like when people play with your hair?

yessss so much i wish someone would play with my hair lmao i have to do everything around here :/

34. do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?

i thought about skipping my 9:30 AM and sleeping in but we have a test next tuesday so i figured i should go

35. waiting for something?

my first pride parade this weekenddd

36. was last night terrible?

it was good and then it was reaaal bad

37. did you lose friends when you started dating someone?

yeah, like one only bc she had feelings for me though and it wasn’t good for either of us to stay friends. or at least that’s what i decided for me. i hope she has a good life however and i wish her nothing but the best

38. are you the type of person to make people laugh?

yes!!!

39. don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive?

very!!!

40. is tomorrow going to be a good day?

god i hope so

41. are you missing someone?

i miss my friend Stein and my friend Kate

42. has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?

yeah

43. do you believe in karma?

i guess

44. do you sleep with a fan on?

yeah

45. you think anyone’s thinking about you right now?

probably not

46. is there anyone you wish you were spending time with right now?

yes

47. do you go to school?

yeah

48. is the person you last texted single?

yes it was my good pal Joe and he’s a good guy with good heart and he’s cute somebody hit him up and treat him right

49. who was driving the last time you were in a car?

meee

50. have you ever used the word ‘rawr’ in an actual conversation?

i’m sure i did back in 2011

51. are the blinds on your window open or closed?

closed bc i’m about to go to bed and there’s a creepy ass forest outside my window and do you think i’m gonna let pennywise peak into my windows while i sleep? absolutely not

52. did you leave milk and cookies for santa when you were little?

yes sometimes. i would always forget to do that

53. what were you doing at 11 last night?

i drank a big glass of wine after finishing two water bottles so i was peeing probably i had to pee like 58 times

54. what could you eat any day of the week & never get tired of?

the orange chicken at panda is all i get at school every day pretty much and i know that’s super bad for you but i walk it off bc my campus is a bunch of hills and stairs and shit

55. is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now?

yessss

56. someone knocks on your window at 5 am, what do you say?

i’d probably be very afraid but if it was one of my friends or smth i’d be out there in a minute i’m always down for adventures

57. would you change yourself for the person you love?

lmao........... next

58. let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?

nah it was from my mom

59. what are you supposed to be doing right now?

i guess i should go to bed but it’s only 10 lmao but nobody i talk to is up or talking to me rn so

60. would you have sex with the 5th person on your contacts?

god no

61. to who did you last give the finger to?

my brother

62. did your last kiss take place on a bed?

i mean not an Actual bed but my gf and i laid out a pillow and blankets in the backseat of my car so...... it was almost a bed

63. do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?

yes like 4 people

64. do you talk in your sleep?

no i don’t but i used to sleepwalk as a kid

65. do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i mean, with my mom yeah but with my dad it’s good for rn but it’s been super rocky

66. what time did you wake up today?

8:25 AM when i should’ve been up at 7:45 AM

67. what were you doing at midnight last night?

texting caitlin but i fell asleep sometime around then

68. what song are you listening to?

i fall apart // post malone

69. has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?

yeah my gf was holding me today and i fell asleep and it was really nice

70. how do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?

i prefer choc covered bananas ngl but they aren’t bad

71. do you have nice eyes?

i do they’re really green and they’re fuckin big i look like a damn anime character but i love em

72. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yes i’m a ging

73. are you texting anybody?

my good pal Joe and my gf’s sister just texted me lmao

74. do you swear in front of your parents?

not like a lot but occasionally

75. concert tickets or nfl game tickets?

concert

76. are you addicted to cigarettes?

nah i have no interest in smoking them either

77. do you tell your parents everything?

my dad knows the very minimum about me but my mom and i talk about most things. not everything but most things

78. do you have any tattoos?

yeah i have a sun and moon on my wrists and “lovely” on my left bicep

79. if something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to?

my gf

80. do you have any nicknames?

i have a few internet friends who call me Elly

#like if ya read #long post #about me

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kingsterracerp-blog · 7 years

Photo

Thank you for applying, SILVER. You have been accepted as RANDALL BUCKLEY. Just don’t forget to check out our CHECKLIST and send in your account within 24 HOURS. If you have any questions then let us know!

OUT OF CHARACTER.

NAME: Silver AGE: 19 TIMEZONE: GMT +2:00 ACTIVITY LEVEL: 7/10, I am generally online on mobile when I’m in class and on the computer at least four hours every day. Now, when exam time times, my activity goes down a bit but it still remains at least one hour and it’s only a few weeks out of the year - thankfully. PRONOUNS: they/them SHIPS: chemistry ANTI-SHIPS: no chemistry TRIGGERS: Removed. PASSWORD: Removed. ANYTHING ELSE: Removed.

IN CHARACTER.

DESIRED CHARACTER: Randall Cash Buckley, Jr. NICKNAMES: Rand, Randy, Junior AGE/BIRTH ORDER: 25, oldest FACECLAIM: Liam Hemsworth GENDER IDENTITY/PRONOUNS: male, he/him SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Bisexual (closeted), biromantic (closeted) HOMETOWN: Goss, Mississippi OCCUPATION/EDUCATION: Carpenter and wood carver

(MORE) IN CHARACTER.

POSITIVES: handy, creative and trustworthy NEGATIVES: traditionalist, secretive and proud

@buckleyinboston: Nothing better than some Conway Twitty and a cold one. @buckleyinboston: Don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the northern accent. @buckleyinboston: At least I can still go fishing in this city. Buildings as a backdrop, but I guess we all gotta compromise.

BIOGRAPHY.

** TW COT DEATH, HOMOPHOBIA **

Randall Cash Buckley, Jr. was born on a hot August day in 1991 at his parents’ house in Goss, Mississippi. He was the first born and to this day, still annoys his twin sibling with that fact and the fact that he must have been loved more from the start, because he got their daddy’s first name.

The Buckley’s were dirt poor; they really were. His father helped out on the tree farms whenever he could for minimum wage and his mother worked at the local diner. It simply wasn’t enough to keep the family afloat. His parents were too proud to use food stamps, something young Randall couldn’t understand when they went to sleep hungry - again. He was never one to sit idly by, though and when he was seven, he asked his uncle to teach him how to fish after school. They went down to the river and when he was ten, he simply started to go alone. He had an old bike, a bike trailer he’d begged his other uncle to make him and some rope. That was enough to carry all his fishing supplies. After school, when he could, he went down there to fish and more often than not, he brought home fish for dinner. They weren’t the biggest fish and weren’t always that tasty but they weren’t hungry and in his family, that was rare.

His father got a job at a local lawnmower shop and because of the steady income, they finally managed to have some security. They still got by on a minimum and couldn’t even think of saving money, but at least the days of going to bed hungry and no electricity were behind them. His parents still worked long hours and aside from about an hour in the evening, Randall and his sibling were often left to fend for themselves. It made Randall feel lost and lonely, especially because he really didn’t have friends his own age. He was quite a shy child and always looked shabby in his hand me downs and dirty shoes. He really didn’t have anyone aside from his uncles to hang out with.

That changed when Randall was twelve. An elderly man named Billy moved to the town with his bloodhound, Ed. He took Randall under his wing and paid him a few dollars to do little jobs around the house, which Randall saved in case one day, he really needed them. Growing up the way he did, taught him not to waste his money on things such as candy and toys, which other children did do. The old man often carved wood as Randall was fixing and cleaning things around his house. Randall was simply fascinated by it. When Billy asked him if he wanted to learn how to do it, Randall happily said yes.

That is where Randall’s love for wood started. He first learned how to carve and later, the older man taught him how to make furniture as well as widow and door frames. Randall had never really known what would come of him as he wasn’t very good at school work nor at sports but this was something he was good at, working with his hands and using wood to make useful and beautiful things.

At 15, his life was turned upside down. A new boy moved to town to live with his aunt, after his parents had passed away. He was an African-American guy named Caleb and Randall felt things for him he had never felt before. They were fishing buddies at first, as they discovered they both liked to do that, but Caleb wasn’t just a friend. Once they were by the river side, they were more than friendly. Maybe even flirty. Randall couldn’t keep his eyes off the gorgeous other boy’s flawless dark skin, pearl white teeth and beautiful dark eyes. There were many nights when he couldn’t sleep and thought of Caleb in ways no man should, at least in the eyes of God and his parents. He felt ashamed and distanced himself from Caleb, he simply couldn’t be gay, not in this town. To this day, he regrets not kissing Caleb back when the guy tried to show him what Randall meant to him. He just pushed him away, wiped his mouth and called him a fag. The hurt he saw in his friends face broke his heart. He told the other guy that he was disgusting and walked back towards his bike. He cried until he reached town.

It took him months to emotionally recover from that and it was hard seeing Caleb now hanging out with another guy, named Marcus. They were found out to be gay and bullied by all neighborhood kids and even some adults. Randall didn’t stand up for his old friend, in fear of being grouped in with him and his boyfriend. He was disgusted with himself, not only for what he felt but because he was such a coward.

Randall met Dixie when he was sixteen and developed feelings for her. It was such a relief. This meant he wasn’t gay, that he was normal and that all would be okay. She was a beautiful girl with red hair and brown eyes. They were high school sweethearts and he didn’t have eyes for any girl other than her. When he was 18, he bought a ring with half of the money he’d saved up from working for Billy and proposed to her. She said yes and he had never been happier.

He started two years of vocational training to become a carpenter, which he finished at the top of his class. Two weeks after graduation, when he was a month shy of turning 21, they got married at the local Baptist church. He wore borrowed clothes, as did she but they didn’t mind. The clothes didn’t matter, their love did.

He got a job as an assistant carpenter in town and while it didn’t make too much money, it covered half the bills they had to pay at her parents’ house where they were living and they could save Dixie’s paycheck in full. She made quite a bit working as a secretary at a local business.

Ten months after their wedding, their little girl was born and they named her Magnolia Lou. She had red hair just like her mother. Randall felt pride he hadn’t felt before. He just strutted around town, telling anyone who wanted to hear (and even those who didn’t) that he was a father of the most beautiful little girl in the world.

He was a father for four months. Then he found his daughter with a blue face. Cot death, they told him. It wasn’t his fault, they said but that was his daughter, his little girl. It was his responsibility to keep her safe and he hadn’t. He had failed as a father and a man.

He was 24 when he got divorced from Dixie, another failure but one he knew that he had created himself. He was inconsolable and lashed out at Dixie over everything. When he went for the bottle to drown his sorrows, she decided that enough was enough and filed for divorce. He didn’t fight it. He just signed whatever he had to sign and moved back to his parents’ house. People around town were sympathetic and he hated it. Everyone knew his story, everyone knew about his failures and he felt suffocated. He needed to get away.

He went to a local internet cafe to look for a job that suited him and had decent pay. He finally found an opening at Tailgate Carpentry & Home Repair in Boston. He applied and after a Skype call in which he showed some of his own work, he got hired.

He found King’s Terrace and when he saw there was an option to have a roommate he decided he wouldn’t mind living there. He needed a roommate to be able to split the costs and he wasn’t really able to move there and pay rent by himself until he found one. Here he’d be matched to someone, which was a lot easier. He hopes he’ll have someone he can stand rooming with him and if he doesn’t, well, then he’ll just lock himself in his room. He doesn’t really mind. It isn’t as if he’s here to make any friends. He is running away from something, not towards anything. He just wants to earn a living and other than that, he really has no idea what he’s doing with his life. He’ll figure it out… hopefully.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH? HOW DOES IT COME IN HANDY?

I can survive. You can drop me anywhere in the world, and I’ll find a way to get food, water and what I need to survive. It’s something all of these city boys ain’t got a clue about.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE?

That’s between me and God and it damn sure ain’t none of your business. Drinking, it messed up my marriage but I’m tryin’ to beat it. Maybe I’ll go to AA, I don’t know yet.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?

Back in good ole’ Mississippi. I ain’t made to live in a city. Too much concrete and there ain’t enough clean air. I hope to still be practicin’ my craft and maybe even find love again. Maybe there is a city girl out there that ain’t afraid of country livin’.

WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO KING’S TERRACE?

Fit in my budget and wasn’t too far from my new job. That’s all you need to know. I wanted to get away from Goss. Everything reminded me of my Dixie and Magnolia… and everyone looked at me like a failure and I couldn’t stand it anymore. That is why I came here, but I do miss Mississippi.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF SOMETHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Hold your little girl just a little bit longer.

#buckley #randall buckley #accepted

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