#paced work culture and scroll instead of having hobbies and and and

[shrewdbard]

tbh i do think a lot of the "helpless coquette i wish i was a housewife girly" trend is coming from a place of real capitalism burnout. some of it is just teen girls terrified to grow up out of a house where mom and dad (but mostly mom) take care of their needs, but with twenty and thirty somethings, a lot of that desire comes from the slog of actually working day in and day out while balancing meals and laundry and cleaning (or neglecting those things, because you can only do so much), and the wish someone would just take care of it all for you. and tradwife conservative bullshit is preying on all of that by saying yes, men used to take care of this for you! definitely dont read betty friedan and don't think about all of the terrible things that come with being 100% financially dependent on someone else!

[helianthus-tarot]

GENERAL: 3 things you should do more & why

As usual, with tarot, it gets spiritual. But I also included extra things like activities you can do and advice card in each pile. There are three points in each pile, so it is up to you if you want to split the reading; for example, if you want to choose Pile A number 1 for the first suggestion, Pile D number 2 for the second suggestion, Pile C number 3 for the third suggestion. Or just choose one pile for all three suggestions.

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Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

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PILE A

Queen of Swords (10 of Pentacles), 7 of Swords (The Hermit), 10 of Wands Rx (7 of Pentacles)

1. Prioritize what you know you need to prioritize. Fix and hold/maintain your boundaries. I wonder if some of you cross your own boundaries too, or do things to yourself that you know you shouldn’t— dishonoring yourself or your boundaries in some way. Speak your mind more. This will allow you to build a more stable life for yourself (it will lead to more stability and getting to build a life that you desire).

2. Keep some aspects of yourself private, not everyone deserves to know what you are up to, not everyone should have access to you. Plan your life/day more and move in silence. You will be able to protect your peace better this way, and some of you probably need your space to feel more like yourself and to cultivate mental independence. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.

3. Let go of burdens and responsibilities that aren't yours to take. Relax more, pace yourself better, you will get what you aim for even if you do it slowly. Sometimes trying to carry too much can lead to ineffectiveness and things not working out. Some of you may also be overburdening yourself with things that you shouldn’t because you want to avoid drama and conflicts. Some of you do this because you feel like you are running out of time.

Advice card: Communication, “I am a masterful communicator with the ability to say what I think and feel in a way that doesn’t invoke conflict. Watch as I dodge the bullets of sass and snark. Marvel as I avoid the traps of passive-aggressiveness and victimhood. Be amazed that even though it’s sometimes stressful, I choose to communicate— an act that saves us all from the grips of certain unspoken seething.”

Extra: Food hunting, Clubbing & Partying; (go out to eat and have fun), Daydreaming (be clear about your vision), Being Online (be intentional with your screen time and the content you seek, instead of scrolling mindlessly)

PILE B

King of Pentacles, Page of Swords (Justice), The Fool (4 of Cups, 6 of Swords)

1. Look at your life and see how you can increase the quality of your life; how you can make your home life better, what habits you can cultivate to help you feel more stable in yourself, your routine, living space, furniture and so on. Live your life in a way that can help you build more stability and comfort, in a way that brings you long-term rewards. Manage your personal finance wisely. Some of you are advised to connect more to your roots, history and culture. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.

2. Embrace your curiosity. Follow the flow of what piques your mind. Yes, even if you are interested in 32532 different hobbies or topics at the same time, find time to engage with them all. Not everything you explore has to stay forever in your life (you don't have to commit to everything), but that does not mean you shouldn’t experience them at all. Share those things that you have learned and that excite you with others. It will help you develop mental agility and be wiser.

3. Be open to life and take more risks. Go out and explore the world. Start something new, whether or not it will lead to anything substantial, we never really know what will and what won't. Approach life lightly, with childlike wonder. It will help move you away from your past disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Advice card: Prep Work, “I make friends with the quiet loners— Organization and Planning— and I suddenly realize how cool they are. I start hanging out with them, and I bend to their influence. I even allow them to give my daily habits a makeover. Normally I wouldn’t succumb to peer pressure, but isn’t efficiency the best? C’mon, just let me fill in one more bullet journal, I promise I’ll be able to stop.”

Extra: Sightseeing & Going to the museum, Collecting, Photography & Videography (take more pictures, record your memories, make a scrapbook journal), Fishing (be around bodies of water more; the beach, lake, pool, have an aquarium or set up a small decorative fountain in your space, etc).

PILE C

3 of Pentacles (The Sun), 10 of Swords, 7 of Cups (8 of Pentacles)

1. Ask for help more often. Even if you can do something alone, sometimes it benefits you if you let other people help you. Getting help is not the only benefit; forming connections, starting an interaction, exchanging resources and network are among the benefits. You never know who knows a person who knows a person who has the resources that can make your life better.

2. Sit down with yourself and really take your time understanding why you are dealing with the pain and stress you are dealing with. Some of these things require attention, and if you experience delay or obstacles or difficulty that stop you in your path or weigh you down until the point you can’t move forward, maybe it is time to stop and heal. Investigate the source of stress and pull it out one by one, and love yourself through every step.

3. Regularly look at the things that show up in your life, and really ask yourself what’s good and what’s bad for you, filter them according to this standard. Not everything that seems and feels good is actually good, not everything that seems bad and feels bad is actually bad. Look at your own qualities too, there are things that we carry in ourselves that can lead us astray, and there are things that we carry in ourselves that are actually helping us. This may be the step that starts your self-improvement journey.

Advice Card (this one is a bit more cryptic than the others): Lunch, “I eat my own food and I let others eat their own food. If there is not a name on the food and I didn’t buy the food, I use my brain to remember that I didn’t buy the food and I assume that someone else bought the food.”

Extra: Occult (self-introspection, get to know yourself activities, spiritual activities or activities that can make you feel more connected to the Universe, nature and the world around you), Fashion & Style (take care of your appearance and hygiene more, wear clothes that make you feel happy every day)

PILE D

Judgment (Wheel of Fortune), 9 of Pentacles (King of Cups), Queen of Cups Rx (The Sun)

1. Regularly look back on your past and actions you took, what you did that helped you succeed or produce a desired/positive result, and what you did/didn’t do that didn’t help you. Learn what you should do again to repeat the desired result. Apply the knowledge. Looking back on the past also means noticing the patterns that have appeared in your life, which also helps you notice similar patterns in the present, this will help you navigate your present and future better.

2. Embrace gratitude and just enjoy your life. A lot of you have worked hard enough to get to this point, you deserve to enjoy yourself. Sure the journey hasn’t ended yet, and many of you have long journeys ahead of you— but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy what you have now. This is good for your emotional and mental health; it will help you feel more emotionally balanced and stable instead of feeling drained.

3. Avoid approaching life with feelings all the time. It’s common to process life events emotionally, for example, when something happens we might be like “this is so boring to do” “that is so unpleasant” “I want to do this but I feel like” and whatnot, but it will be simpler if we just see things as 'actions to take' and that’s it, don’t let yourself move past the awareness of the facts (of the situation) and start feeling something about the facts. This is one of the things that go-getters do; they just act, they don’t think or feel much about every single thing in their life and in their to-do list. It will make you happier and make it easier to move in life.

Advice Card: Consideration, “I’m a considerate person, and my new goal is radical conscientiousness. From now on, I’ll leave every space tidier than I found it; I’ll find small ways to support a teammate even if they didn’t ask for it.”

Extra: Watching movies (watch more movies, drama or tv shows), being out in nature (you can also try being more active physically, like doing sports or other physical activities that have positive impacts on your health).

[canvaswolfdoll]

Canvas and Video Games

Have I talked about my Video Game history? Feels like I have, but I also can’t remember doing so. I’m also running low on possible essay topics, and haven’t finished off any media that I can review[1] recently enough to do that instead…

So, hey, you nerds, let’s talk about Video Games!

Because that’s obviously been a massive influence on my life, what with… my entire brand, really. Egads, am I a nerd, sitting here with a New 3DS in a charging cradle in front of me, trying to work out how to do better quality streams and deciding to write an essay about Video Games.

It all started with my brother, old Foxface himself. As the family lore goes, my parents once didn’t want video games in the house, what with… the social stigma, I guess? It was different times, alright?

Point is, my brother’s speech teacher was all ‘Hey, you know what may help with speech? Video Games! Get him video games.’

And so my parents did, despite any reasonable connection or evidence in the above argument.[2]

So they bought him the Sega Genesis, the only non-Nintendo console we’ve ever owned. He played Sonic the Hedgehog! Also… no. It was mostly just Sonic.

Obviously young Canvas was also interested in the wonder of interactive media, and the running rodent, so I’d watch him play, and occasionally step in as Tails or try to play it myself. And I was terrible at it.

Eventually, the Nintendo 64 was released and added to our fleet of hardware, and we never looked back! Ha ha!

That’s the console that we really cut our teeth on, with it’s many beloved games, from Mario 64, Star Fox 64, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (first Zelda game I was ever aware of), and so on and so forth. We ended up with most of the major releases.[3] Also Mischief Makers for some reason.

It was also the height of Video Rental stores, though I never got to choose games to rent. Vulpin stuck with Space Station Silicon Valley which… might deserve an HD Remake, to be honest. Such a bizarre premise people would eat up, nowadays.

The Game Boy Color arrived, carrying Pokemon and various shovelware, plus a few Zelda Games. Tried my best with them, but for the longest time I never actually completed a video game, or got that far, though I did finish Johto in Gold, which is something.

Gamecube came out, the Dreamcast died, and I began to become aware of the surrounding culture as my capabilities to use the internet matured. We also continued a trend of our person game libraries for the generation growing larger than the last. Lots of GameCube games.

Animal Crossing was a Christmas gift early in the cycle, and it was the first video game all of the kids in the family played, to various extents. Elder Sister was her usual perfectionist self, paid off her house, then pretty much stopped playing video games forever afterwards. Little Sister still plays the occasional game (mostly Paper Mario), but largely it’s just Foxface and I who are deep into the gaming scene.

But, like so many things, tracking each and every experience would be a rather sisyphean task, so I should try and refocus here.

Video Games have always been a presence in my life, and thus had its effects on my creative self, from imaginary friends to the little stories I’d crafted pacing the backyard. They were my chief insight into narratives and various genres, design (whether costume or set or mechanical). Nintendo Power helped educate me on the concept of news and industry, as well as the community that could grow from a hobby.

In fact, Pokemon was the main driving force behind the event I joke is the time I’ve ever made friends myself,[4] being approached while reading a book related to the franchise during second grade. It was nice.

Learning about the internet and GameFAQs hinted towards the wider world and culture, and eventually I came upon 8-Bit Theater, which fired up my love of comics in a big way. Comics and stories made from and about elements of video games? That’s so cool!

Then Nintendo Acres happened.

The diminishing use of quality sprite work in video games makes me sad, by the way. There’s just something about the GBA/DS era graphics that invokes joy in my heart, by now even Pokemon has left sprite work behind for models, and even kitschy independent games tend for the super minimalistic version of 8-bit and… whatever one would refer to Atari graphics. Had I artistic talent, I would slather my media in 16-bit evocative of Friends of Mineral Town or The World Ends with You.

In fact, I think that’s one of my main hurdles getting invested in Stardew Valley[5] and Undertale. They just look ugly, even by the standards of kitschy 8-bit style. Frisk is malformed, and all the Stardew characters are in the wrong perspective for the rest of the world. Sprite work can be so beautiful, and yet no one puts in the effort anymore.

Look, sprites aren’t the only aesthetic I love, just so we’re clear. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, I just prefer bright, cheery worlds. Tale of Symphonia is one of my favorite games, if not my absolute number one.[6] There’s just something very nice about a fantasy world that looks lush and vibrant, where you’d be happy to live just for the scenery. The Tales series and Rune Factory also made me very positive about oddly intricate characters in fantasy. I’ve never liked the dirt covered fantasy of… let’s say Skyrim. Fantasy should be about escapism, grand adventure in grand landscapes, not the crushing reality of medieval times.

More Ghibli, less brown is what I want in general.

I may be an oddball for the elements I look for in video games. I like RPGs (obviously) but there’s very few members of the genre I actually enjoy. I flat-out can’t stand western Video Game RPGs.

What I usually look for in games is both a compelling narrative and interesting mechanics, with allowance for the ‘Classics’ and trendsetters.[7] This is something I find lacking in Western-Style RPGs, with their focus on customizing and granular stat advancement. Sure, I understand someone’s desire to try and put a popular character in an Elder Scrolls, or place some curious limitation on themselves while crawling around Fallout’s wastelands.

But because the game needs to allow the player to make whoever they want, it severely cripples the writer’s ability to write the “main” character into the plot, lest they step on the agency of the player. So, from my perspective, we end up in one of two situations: the PC is a non-entity in the plot, with the narrative happening around and to them instead of with them. Or, we get a Mass Effect situation, where they treat it like Choose Your Own Adventure, and you end up shooting a dude when you thought you were just going to arrest him.[8] That’s why I much prefer being handed a protagonist with a history and personality.

Now, those familiar with my tabletop philosophies, and namely my disdain for randomized Character Gen because it takes away player agency might be tilting their head at this inconsistency.

Well, it’s a scale thing. I realize Video Games have a limitation, and thus it’s unreasonable to expect it to cater to you completely. Tabletop, however, allows endless narrative possibilities, because it’s being created in the moment. So, with Video Games, I’m more willing to just let the story take me along as an observer, like a TV Show.

Which is to say, I don’t really project on the Player Character, and am I happy with that. It’s a division between game and story that may seem odd, but it’s what I look for: every piece having a narrative purpose, especially the loser who’s carrying us on our back.

So, narratively, I prefer the style of JRPGs (also, I like Anime and it’s tropes, so…). Yet, I have never really gotten engrossed in any Final Fantasy Game, because list combat is very dull. I mean, grindy, set the auto-attack against opponent style of Western RPGs[10] aren’t much better, but at least it’s got a hint of visual interest.

What am I left with? For a while, Tales of Symphonia, but now I’ve got Rune Factory, with it’s rather simple combat, but still mostly fun (helped along by other elements), and especially Fire Emblem, which what I wish battlemat D&D combat could be: quick, clever, strategic.

Though I’ve only played the 3DS installments thus far, due to lack of accessibility to the early games, which I couldn’t be bothered to try when they were released. Did try the first GBA game to be ported over, but that ended up having the worst, most micromanaging tutorial I’ve ever seen, and thus I am incapable of completing the first level.

I know how to play video games, Fire Emblem. I am aware of the base concept of pressing A. Yeesh. You’re worse than modern Harvest Moon games!

I’ve also never gotten invested in military FPSs, as a mixture of finding the gameplay boring, difficulty mastering it, and mockery whenever I was roped into playing one with friends.[11] In general, I don’t like being in first person view, as I find it limiting to controls, and responding to things that get behind me is annoying, because I flail trying to find the source of damage, then die.

Though, with time, my avoidance has decreased. Portal has a first person camera, but in a mixture of a more puzzle focused game and excellent integration of tutorial into gameplay,[12] it takes an agitating limited camera and makes it very workable, while also teaching the player how to interact with a game in first person.

I also played a little Team Fortress 2, and now Overwatch. The difference with those two over, say, Modern Duty or whatever, is the tone. The two games are competitive, yes, but also light hearted and goofy. Death is cheap and non punishing, the addition of powers make character choice widely different and fun, and, when I do get a little frustrated, it’s very easy for me to take a breath say ‘It’s only a game’ and let it go. Which is important when playing video games, sometimes.

Because that’s what games should always be: entertainment. It’s why I don’t try and force myself through games I’m not enjoying or lose interest in (though obviously I do try and come back and finish the plot) and why I very rarely strive for 100% completion. Because I want to enjoy myself, not engage in tedious work.

It’s also why I don’t care about ESports. Because I don’t care about sports. People doing something very well doesn’t really appeal to me. High-level chess players aren’t interesting to watch or study, seeing two teams of muscled people charge one another isn’t fun, and fight scenes with the usual punching and kicking is dull.

Because, what I look for in most cases is novelty.

Seeing a master craftsman make a thing once can be interesting, just to see the process. See a master craftsman make the same thing a 100 times is uninteresting, because nothing new is happening. When it comes to sports and games, it’s more interesting to see novices play, because they mess up in interesting ways, spot and solve problems, and you get to sit back and go ‘Now, I would’ve done this.’

So, yeah, not a big fan of Counterstrike and League of Legends news, even besides the toxic communities.

Public perception of video games turned rather quick in my lifetime. It used to be such a niche hobby, enjoyed by nerds and children and so such. Yet… well times change, don’t they? Obviously children grew up and brought games along with them, but the hobby has expanded to become mainstream, a console being as necessary as a television, where those without are viewed as bizarre, despite it not being a physical need.[13] We all remember the children who noted their family doesn’t have a TV (or keep it in the closet), and I wonder if XBoxes have gained the same traction.[14]

If only tabletop games could get the same treatment.

Though I still wouldn’t be able to find a group, but still…

Now that I’m an employed adult, I have even more control over the games I play. Which means a Wii U and a custom built PC.

That I built myself, because I also enjoyed Lego as a child.

Between the two, I tend to have a wide enough net to catch the games that interest me. Sure, there’s still some PlayStation exclusives I’d love to try (Journey, Team ICO’s works, plenty of Tales games…)[15] but some of those games are slowly drifting over to Steam, and I already have a backlog, so I can wait it out.

That’s my stumbled musings about video games… Oh! I stream them! Over here! Watch me! I love to entertain and amuse!

Also maybe consider supporting me through patreon? Then I can put more resources into being amusing!

And share any thoughts you have. I’ll listen. Until then…

Kataal kataal.

[1] Did finish rereading Yotsuba&! but there’s nothing to say about besides “Read it!” [2] Certainly didn’t help me. [3] Though not Harvest Moon 64. One day, I will slay that whale. One day… [4] The rest are inherited after old friends leave. [5] Someone on Reddit commented its port to the Switch may help scratch the itch left by Rune Factory. They are, of course, dreadfully wrong. [6] I still dislike do rankings. [7] IE, I’m not a big fan of hallway-bound FPS games, but have played through the Half-Life series. Mostly for the connection to Portal. [8] I know it was in the ‘Renegade’ position, but I thought it’d be played as ‘I’ll risk losing the Shadow Broker to book this small fish’ sort of thing. I’m not very clever, okay?[9] [9] I actually never progressed much further than that. Perhaps it’ll be on CanvasPlays someday. [10] I don’t care if you have a list of subversions of this style, by the way. I really don’t. [11] I once annoyed a former friend for not knowing there’s an aim button. I didn’t know this, because I don’t play FPSs. [12] There’s a very nice Extra Credits about this somewhere. [13] Though as a cultural need… [14] Nintendo Consoles, of course and unfortunately, being considered the off-brand. [15] the PS3 port of Tides of Destiny. Yes, it’s a disgrace of a Rune Factory game, and it was also on the wii but… well, sometimes I’m an insane collector![16] [16] I don’t even need a PS3. I can get it used for, like, five bucks from GameStop…