#pacetoday

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Body positivity painting progress

[theamberfang]

Journal 284: Forward

On Pace

Today I managed to write over 2k words for NaNoWriMo, which also makes it the first day where I actually reached the pace necessary to finish by the end of the month—assuming the stats on my NaNoWriMo profile are correct. If I can reach a point where I’m overshooting that pace consistently, then I could actually bring that daily average back down (or just keep that up and be on pace to finish early.)

I am doing somewhat better about keeping on track. At the least, I did start writing early in the day, took a break that I actually kept pretty short before writing again, but then I took another break that went off the rails a bit. Part of that was due to my parents coming home from eating out and bringing a burger and fries that I just went ahead and ate, but I at least ate it with some warmed up veggies. Still, I didn’t have a good time eating it and it really prolonged the break as I attempted to do so. I somehow managed to write more afterwards though.

As for the text itself, I’ve definitely returned to a similar groove that I had last year, except that I’ve replaced the journal bits—which were, in part, meta-textually about the process of writing for NaNoWriMo and, in other part, just about my personal life—with these back and forth exchanges with myself. I’ve often had a lack of confidence in writing dialogue because I simply haven’t talked to all that many people in that many contexts (or at least, I don’t feel like I have, but now that I think about it, I’ve attended support groups and stuff). These exchanges that I’ve been writing have me thinking that it wouldn’t even be that bad to fill up the draft of a story with this sort of dialogue: just talking to myself. Diversifying language to differentiate characters is something that I can leave to later drafts.

Communication Break

I did mostly stick to taking a break from communicating with anyone—more accurately, I suppose, worrying about having to communicate with anyone. By the end of the day, I did check Discord and exchange a few words with both my D&D friend and my Tumblr acquaintance (fan?). I did so out of a more natural curiosity than out of a sense of obligation, which really changed how I felt about it, especially with the old friend whose waiting on me to read the rulebook and get a character going. I didn’t feel guilty about not having done those things yet, because telling myself that I didn’t have to talk to anyone somehow freed me from feeling like I had to talk about that particular topic.

It’s actually quite a revelation to me that I don’t have to resolve any outstanding topics or concerns before continuing to talk to someone. Like, with my pen pal Wan for example, I feel like I absolutely have to address the conversation we’ve ended up in, even if it makes me uncomfortable at the moment. This pattern basically means I’d rather stop talking to someone altogether rather than just ignoring/neglecting a topic so that I can continue to talk to them about something else. Even when it comes to reconnecting with old friends through Facebook, it’s why I feel obligated to have some big explanation about where I’ve been and why I’ve fallen off the map for so many years.

I think it’s connecting to the way my father insisted that I “do things right” by writing thank you letters to people and such, except in these kinds of situations, I’ve just sort of made up the rules on my own. My best guess is that these rules I’m abiding by are founded in the whole “treat people the way you would want to be treated” way. If I haven’t seen someone in a long time, it would be nice to know where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing... And I’ve somehow warped that sentiment into me feeling like it is absolutely necessary for me to provide that information when reconnecting to people I haven’t talked to in years.

That right there is why journaling has been good for me. It helps me untangle that sort of nonsense. I’ve actually warped the “treat people the way I would want to be treated” to the point I’m holding myself up to some ridiculously extreme standard. For me, it would actually be more useful to remember to “treat myself the way I would like to treat others.”

Tomorrow’s Tasks

Dance for exercise; 1000

NaNoWriMo; 1100

Khan Academy; 1700

Shower; 1800

Journal; 2000

[letspacetoday]

Finished painting @lookingforlids (Instagram) body positive painting. What do you guys think? I think it came out really good 😌

[letspacetoday]

Procreate process …

[letspacetoday]

Painting process… almost done! What do y’all think?

[letspacetoday]

Working progress…

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Procreate process..

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Update on my 21inx28in painting

[letspacetoday]

Working on this piece right now.

[letspacetoday]

Got this far today. Definitely loving how it’s coming out.

[letspacetoday]

Another update

[letspacetoday]

Completed my body positivity painting. Size is 22inx28in. Acrylic paint. Painting of @mochi_emy over on instagram

No face because I want everyone or anyone to feel like this could be them. Love on your body! All of our body’s are beautiful and perfect the way it is.

[letspacetoday]

Starting a new painting soon!

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An update on the painting I’m working on 🫶🏼 ✨

[letspacetoday]

Pace. “Body Positivity 6” 2022. Digital Art. 

Prints for Sale 

5x7″: $10

8.5x11″: $20 

If you want different size print let me! 

[letspacetoday]

Painting progress…