#paeden is great as always

[crookshanks23]

Season 1, Episode 12: A Tale of Two Daddies

Favorite moment/quote: The 2 phone calls of this episode with Samantha and NPC Beth May. Love showing off Ron's character and getting a hilarious meta moment.

General thoughts:

This one has a fun intro, even though I don't have the context for the podcast they're parodying (at least, I think it's a podcast?).

Henry deciding to just shout at Terry Sr. from Erin's house is very funny. It moves the story forward very quickly and is a great image in my head.

The whole subplot about the dads thinking that they might be dead is interesting. It's not a bad leap of logic - they are still figuring out how the world works and it's a natural assumption after hearing that Terry Sr. died in the real world.

The arrival of NPC Beth May is great. I love that Anthony says it would be hilarious for Beth to role play that and then he does it himself. It's a great bit that has had some staying power into Season 2.

This is another great instance of the party totally obviating the combat with the bag of holding. Really clever use of an item. And the Birkenstock magic comes back! Glad it finally paid off when Matt needed that healing.

And of course the "Who's your daddy now?" stinger. Oof. Both a great one-liner and a really harsh thing to say to your step son.

Onward to the tower next time...

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I'm relistening to Mountains of Dadness and all the facts we learn about Willy are so unhinged. Like, first of all I just realized Kid Willy has the Paeden voice??? Which is funny because he absolutely has none of that nasal voice in adulthood. Willy canonically hides his natural speaking voice.

Also I forgot that Willy wasn't just killing cats he was also buying cats to kill them. And also he explicitly murdered Stud's cats after he came to take care of him after his dad died.

From an abuse standpoint I kinda wonder if this was Willy acting out for attention. His attitude towards Stud always made me think he was the kinda of kid who was left alone a lot and thus is uncomfortable/confused by Stud's genuine and attentive parenting style. Its very common for abuse victims to be unsettled by non dangerous situations since they're so used to the constant stress, I wonder if Willy killed Stud's cats in attempt to get a more violent and familiar reaction out of him.

And then he's met with "despite everything I still love you."

I wish we had a slightly more clear timeline on Willy and Stud's relationship. Like, how long ago did Carl die? A few weeks or a few months. What happened to Willy's mom? Beth clarifies that Stud is Ron's great uncle not actually his grandfather but does Ron know that? Did Willy refer to Stud as his dad when talking about his childhood? Its really crazy that while Stud was watching a eldridge god murder his friends, Willy was off trying to convince pet stores to just give him more cats

Also its so unhinged for like this small child to have such strong conviction that he will absolutely be having kids one day.

[dykeyote]

hiii I’m in the middle of a show rn lmao but I want to ask you what you think about marisol and soren friendship mayhaps? they don’t even canonically talk/are friends in canon but they mean the world to me so <3 (also bonus question- top scenes from dndads either season?) hope you feel better val <33

OOO I HOPE THAT GOES WELL!!!! thank you (: ill be alright theres just smt not great coming up and im a bit stressed abt it . but ill live (:

but marisol and soren being friends would be FUN ur based for that . i think soren and marisol could talk back and forth a lot and really enjoy themselves (: i think marisol would find sorens necromancy Interesting but always try and tamper him down from his schemes . i could also see marisol being the only person hed really tolerate that from bc shes just nice and likable and warm so i could see him being more receptive tonuer being like hey maybe ... dont kill half the camp than anyone else . i think theyd be buddies (:

also my favorite dndads s1 scene is probably off the top of my head nicks witness testimony in the trial its very close to my heart . but the entirety of doas and paeden breaking the bowl and tower of terry and a bunch ofnother stuff are up there .... favorite s2 scene is hard bc theres SO many i like . obvious andwr is that i Love the normal and lark doodler scenes in alright and theres also a lot of oakworthy scenes i adore and so many scary scenes i love fuck ..... but it genuinely might be terry jr calling scary his baby girlbit gets me!!! it does!!!!!!!

[kineticallyanywhere]

Are you getting kinda tired of the Glenn arc dragging on or is it just me?

I understand your exhaustion (my early predictions for how long Jodie would be around were certainly much shorter than this) but burn-out hasn’t really hit me, I don’t think. I’ll try to explain a couple reasons

One, the way the Supperbowl and Oakveil (Oakvale? sometimes it’s called The Oakveil, so idk what to think) ended before their anchors could be properly dealt with (or, in Henry’s case, his character arc; put on panicked pause for him to shove away the worst parts of, very on-brand) tells me that both their arcs are getting a Part 2. Glenn, on the other hand, needs (and is getting) all of his focused development in one go, because (Anthony help him) this disaster man cannot be trusted to retain character momentum unless pushed with the force of a bus. Basically, I’m confident in this arc actually ending with an anchor being finished off. He’s been the plot driver for (checks episodes...) shoot, 6 months now, but I’m sure the others will make up the difference. 

Second, his arc has kind of already become two arcs? I was just thinking yesterday about how the trial and the prison are like one big “Escape from Meth Bay” arc, and then what comes after (which we’re 2 episodes into) is the fallout of that. And the fall-out has been so off-the-wall in every episode (we go from book trivia, to 6-player death-tyrant fight, to a body swap) that I haven’t been able to process the idea of getting tired of what’s happening

Third, the other players are so good about keeping up their own stuff in the background that it’s hard for me to say that any of their arcs have really stopped. I’m loving all this time we have to just stew in the Darryl and Paeden’s dad-son-son-dad dynamic thing that’s happening; every time Henry just busts out an OP spell without having to think about why he knows it or how he’s doing it on accident I am just so happy for him [building his place as the party’s canon, he can cast Sunbeam now watch tf out Willy]; and Ron stops being Ron exactly never so he and his heartbreaking yet wholesome self are always great. Ron’s stuff is also helped by the fact that Willy has cameoed in every arc so far. 

I hope any of those run-on sentences made sense. tl;dr it has been long, and I understand if you’re waiting for it to finish at this point (am also kinda wondering how many we’ve got left until we know what’s up with Nick) but I don’t really mind and I’m having a good time

[ma-lark-ey]

Okay, some more DnDads positivity!

Drop your

- Favorite comedic episode

- favorite plot episode

- and you're favorite running gag!

Again, I'll start! My favorite comedic episode is Dadurday Night Live, I just think its so great. I have no other reason than its fun to listen to.

My favorite plot episode is 37 (Big Willy Style) or 42 (Oaklore), Big Willy Style because it really showed us just how fucked up the dads relationship with the oh dads is, and especially how it effects Paeden. and 42 because, I've always heavily related to the Oaks as a whole and that episode just hit a note with me that its become the biggest comfort to me that I've probably listened to it eight times.

and my favorite running gag is Henry's dad facts.

[tehscud]

Just a little bit about me

Hi, I’m Nova Berryblue

I am a casual cosplayer, hard working procrastinator, fan-girl and lover to all things cute and cuddly. I love anime/manga, cartoons and video games. I will get more into details over time as you get to know me.

I have a loving partner and a sweet cat name Paeden (who is at this moment ripping through the house with late night zoomies).

My very first cosplay was Anbu Kakashi-sensei from the anime series Naruto. This was back in 2007 or 2008. I went to my very first anime con in 2005. This was a local con called Otafest. I went every year until I had a falling out with my best friend and started feeling too old to go. The first time in a long while I decided it was time to get back to my anime roots. In 2019 Scud and I went to Otafest and had a great time. I made so many friends that are my dearest and closest friends now. I had done one more cosplay and that was my favourite Sailor Scout from Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury. I bought the dress, gloves, wig and the boots. I wore it a few times to Calgary Comic Expo and my mom did a mini photo-shoot.

Now it 2021 and I have done 15 photo-shoots. Some themed ideas and some characters from anime or video games. Its a hobby I feel I was meant to do. I have always loved playing dress-up or getting ready for Halloween.

My goal as I continue to do cosplay is to learn to sew and to make props. I want to learn how to make a costume and be proud of my work. I love going shopping at the local thrift store and ordering already made costumes, but there a certain feeling of making something that feels really good to see in photos. I am going to share all my completed photo sets and some of the preview photos of sets I don’t have yet and even some selfies/group photos of our silliness. I will credit all photographers and the friends I did the shoot with and link all they information. Be sure to look them up, like, share and follow. Thank you so much for stopping by and i hope that you all enjoy the photos and post on this page.

- Nova Berryblue: the bluest of blueberries

[zazujoy]

Darryl finally talked to his kid! I have a whole lot of thoughts about it so here’s what’s basically a line-by-line analysis of that episode 37 conversation.

Darryl: hey uh, Grant kiddo, you wanna tell me what happened last night?

Grant: uhh . . . yeah, I hung out with Yeet, and uh . . . yeah, no it just didn’t- it wasn’t-- he’s not . . . not for me. I’m good, it’s uh-we’re fine.

Darryl: I’m sorry kid.

Grant: Yeah, no, it’s good. I’m fine. How are you? Are you-There’s a lot going on with your dad, you-your whole thing, and Paeden . . . how are you?

Darryl: Yeah, I mean, you can tell there’s a lot going on there. Look, I mean we can- I’ll tell you what you want if you really wanna hear something from me, but you know, I’m here for you, and I wanna-- you know, it’s been wild and there’s been a lot going on, and I’ll just say that personally I feel like I’ve seen a change since that Fortnite since you went into that . . . I don’t know what you call it, but that big bird thing, it was pretty wild--

Okay, first thing I want to call attention to because it becomes important again later: Darryl calling Grant “kid/kiddo.” I’m struggling to properly express what I find significant about this, but while it’s a minor thing, I do think it’s important. It’s something that sort of subtly calls attention to the . . . power imbalance?? Between them--not an imbalance in a weird creepy way, but it emphasizes that it’s important to Darryl that he treat Grant as his son, not as his peer.

Along with that, I think the use of kid/kiddo somehow adds a bit of emotional distance, even though it’s a term of endearment. Darryl’s desire to protect Grant is extremely important to him, and I think interacting with him in this way is a subconscious expression of that desire/an indication that Darryl is, to a lesser extent, trying to connect with a younger version of Grant than the kid in front of him. Darryl trying to shield Grant from things he deems him “too young for”  is born out of a good and healthy desire to protect him and set good boundaries, but it also gives him an excuse to not be as emotionally vulnerable as he needs to be at times. 

Which brings me to my next point: I really like the way Darryl directs the conversation back towards Grant here. I think a lot of people interpreted this as Darryl once again being unwilling to express his own emotions or be vulnerable, and that definitely plays into it, but more than that I think it comes from that same protective instinct. Grant isn’t responsible for Darryl’s emotions or well-being in the same way that Darryl is responsible for Grant’s, and while Darryl’s parenting is definitely very flawed, that’s one thing I think he’s done a great job of recognizing and remembering. Establishing from the start that he’s here for Grant and avoiding making it about himself reflects that. 

Darryl:Yeah, you know, I only thought of that because I went hunting with my dad and I shot an animal and I know that was, you know, it was a little tough, it was mostly just really the first experience I really had with death. But yeah, you haven’t been the same since then, and it’s been tough that we haven’t had the time to talk, and we’ve got the time right now, and I just want to know what’s going on with you. 

Anthony: When you said “oh it was a little hard,” and you play off the hunting incident, he kinda looks away with an air of irritation.

Grant: No, I--it’s uh--yeah, it was a little hard, it was--

Okay so you know how I just said that Darryl trying to protect Grant and not make his emotions Grant’s responsibility was a good and important thing? I was right but this is the moment in the conversation that we start to see the negative effects of the way he’s been handling everything (not that this is the first time we’ve seen that; it’s been evident in basically every WIlson family interaction throughout the podcast, but in the context of this particular conversation, this is the point where my opinion shifts from “this is a good and responsible thing to do” to “Darryl you need to express some level of vulnerability to your kid because not doing so actively harms him.”) 

I also think that here, Darryl’s fear of expressing his own emotions plays a role moreso than in the previous lines where he turned the conversation back to Grant. In that earlier line, it was more about protecting Grant, whereas now it’s both that and his own issues with vulnerability. These two things are absolutely interconnected, though--it’s not that “I can’t express emotions because I need to be a strong leader” and “I can’t express emotions because I want to protect my son and keep that from becoming his responsibility” are separate motivations so much as a chain of cause and effect: “Keeping my emotions to myself lets me be a leader and be strong get us through this, and if I want to be a good dad and protect my kid I need to be strong.” Of course, this thinking doesn’t take into account that

 a. Repression does not equate to strength 

b. Grant needs more than protection; he has a whole host of emotional needs outside of just that, and he needs Darryl to make an effort to make that kind of emotional connection

c. Darryl downplaying his own pain makes it harder for Grant to feel safe and comfortable expressing what’s going on with him. Like, we hear him directly repeat that “it was a little hard” bit and try to shrug off what happened, and throughout the conversation he continues to downplay it a lot. 

Again, “I shouldn’t make my kid responsible for my emotions” is a good and healthy standpoint, but it’s also tied to a lot of Darryl’s personal issues that he needs to address, and feeds into some of the less healthy aspects of his parenting. 

Darryl: well hey kid, look, when I was saying that I wasn’t trying to compare--my point was I was trying to say that I think if I went through what you did, I don’t know how I would have been. I would have wanted to talk to my dad about it, ‘cause my dad was there for me when I shot, you know, my first animal, and maybe it’s just--all things considered, it was a learning experience for me, and I can’t quite remember exactly what it was like back then, but you know, it was hard, but I think it was a little hard because I got to talk to my dad about it. So, you know, I want you to know that you can talk to me and I want to hear what happened.

Grant: what does hard look like to you, even? What does that mean? I saw you vomit and shit and I saw you learn that your dad is--all this . . . and it just doesn’t-- it seems like water off a . . . I don’t even know. I don’t know what I’m saying.

What I love about the way Anthony plays Grant is just, in general, the way he expresses feelings and concepts, especially as it relates to his depression. Anthony’s able to capture and express both what it’s like to feel that way and what it’s like to verbally fumble around trying to find the right words to express it. Grant, at 12, doesn’t have the same vocabulary/experience/point of reference with which to verbalize his depression that the players and audience do, and that’s played well while still clearly getting the emotional point across

This line is a great example of this. He stumbles around with the “water off a duck” thing at the end, but he hits on a question that’s key to this whole conversation and this whole relationship: “what does hard look like to you?” And another thing I like about that is that it’s been set up well; Grant asking this is in line with what’s happened previously in the podcast: Darryl brushing things off during For Knights, during the Paeden reveal, just now talking about killing an animal for the first time, etc; and Grant telling Yeet how everything seems to come so easily to Darryl. It’s an issue that’s been building up, and addressing it here, in this way, works really well narratively. 

Darryl: Look, what’s hard for me? I mean, this is hard, but I’m . . . you don’t have to judge what you’re feeling based off of how I’m feeling. When you grow older, things are different, you know, and I might feel things a little less than I used to, cause of, you know just things that have happened in my life. And I don’t think--just because you’ve seen me act a certain way doesn’t mean that that’s the correct way to act. And this has definitely been hard, and I wish that … if there’s people around, or if your mom was here, I would talk to her. But I’m honestly just trying to get us through all of this, and get us back safe. So I don’t want you to be looking at me to think like that’s the way . . . don’t worry about how I’m feeling in terms of knowing how you’re feeling. That’s why I’m here to talk to you about it. 

“You don’t have to judge what you’re feeling based off of how I’m feeling” is, in my opinion, the most important thing Darryl says in this whole conversation. I don’t actually have a lot more to say about that because I think Darryl/Matt expressed it really well, but yeah. Super important, and one of the few things I think Darryl got 100% right. Not that it’s the only good or right thing he said, but a lot of the other good things he says get mixed in with slightly more questionable ideas (I’ll get into that later), but this? It’s just good. Mr. Wilson sir, I’m proud. 

Grant: yeah, no, I get it.

Darryl: Tell you what, Grant, I’m not gonna force you to talk to me. I trust you, and you’re obviously dealing with a lot, and I know I can’t push you, but I am worried that maybe I’m not doing this the right way for you to feel open. So I’ll tell you what: anything you want to ask me, I’ll tell you honestly, I will tell you the truth, because I’m always gonna tell you the truth. And when I’m not telling you things, I’m not trying to lie and I’m not even trying to avoid it, I’m just trying to do what I think is best. And trying to protect you from certain things right now. But maybe that’s just not doing it, and my dad always talked to me, so . . . if there’s anything holding you back, you know, ask me and I’ll tell you anything. 

Hell yeah, fuck yeah, this is what I’m here for. One of the biggest themes of the podcast is that all four of the dads have major flaws in their approaches to parenthood, and during this adventure they need to come to acknowledge and address that. I said a few weeks ago that Ron was the only one who had really done that so far, but I’m happy to say I’m officially including Darryl in that club now. Throughout the podcast, we’ve seen him address pretty much every situation the exact same way: he wants to be strong, to be a team leader, to push forward and get through this. 

Acknowledging that this approach isn’t working here is a huge step forward for Darryl, and it’s so important that he was able to recognize that and adjust accordingly, rather than simply pushing forward as he’s done in the past. 

Also! I brought up the kid/kiddo thing earlier and it’s relevant again here, because this is the first point in the conversation that Darryl just calls him “Grant” without throwing “kid” in at the end, and I like the way that that tiny detail emphasizes the shift in the conversation. Darryl doesn’t completely abandon his reticence, but he’s engaging with Grant more directly than he has been, rather than using that father/son dynamic as a way to put more distance between them. He’s acknowledging him as a whole, independent person (“I trust you”) and giving him the space to set whatever boundaries he needs. 

Grant: Okay. So, when I was talking to Yeet the other night, he said something that I wanted to ask you about. He said that he was feeling like uh . . . like he couldn’t feel anything? Like there was nothing. But when he was in certain situations, he would feel something. And it would make him be like “oh cool, I’m here” and that was kinda scary to him, and he didn’t . . . uh, he didn’t really feel like he could talk to anybody about it, because nobody else knew how it felt to feel that way. And I was like “yeah my dad definitely has never . . .” Like have you ever, has that ever . . . I don’t know, it’s stupid, you know what, forget it--

Darryl: no, I mean, to feel numb? Or that you can’t say anything to anybody?

Grant: Yeah, or like you’re not there. Like you were there, and now you’re . . . not. That’s like a thing that Yeet has. 

MR. BURCH I JUST WANT TO TALK

For real, the decision to have Grant present his depression as something Yeet is dealing with instead of directly talking about it is maybe my favorite character decision from this whole damn story. 

A major theme in Darryl and Grant’s relationship is the distance between them. We see Darryl putting distance between them with every “we’ll talk later,” and Grant mirroring this behavior by consistently shrugging Darryl off and, especially after the chimera incident, basically refusing to engage with him. 

In this instance, Grant filtering his depression through “my friend is dealing with this thing” is another way to establish distance, but in a much healthier way than before. It would be great for Darryl and Grant to have a relationship where he can talk openly and directly about it, and I hope we see them get to that point, but as of right now they’re not there. Grant knows that, and instead of pulling away completely like he’s done in the past, uses Yeet as a way to keep enough emotional distance that he feels safe. He stops treating it as a black-and-white issue (“if my dad understood this, I’d tell him about it, but he wouldn’t get it so I’m not going to try”) and instead does what he needs to in order to engage with his dad at their current level of trust/emotional intimacy. 

That element of “keeping a safe distance” is especially clear when you compare this section of the conversation to the conversation Grant had with Yeet. With Yeet, he was a lot more vulnerable and open, getting into more detail and letting himself break down a bit, whereas with his dad it’s clear he’s keeping some of his walls up. He’s summarizing his feelings/experience (while pretending it’s not his), not processing them or directly showing them. 

Obviously my experiences are not universal and not every story about a mentally ill teen needs to reflect my own life, but this particular thing is something that’s super familiar to me. I can remember the exact moment that I, at 14, realized my parents weren’t people I cried to anymore. When I did open up about stuff, my friends were the people I cried with and vented to, and (sometimes) my parents got a cliff’s notes version later of what was going on with me. 

Darryl: Yeah. I mean, I can’t speak to Yeet, but of course. I think that’s a thing that everybody . . . I mean look, one of the greatest regrets I have is that you never got to meet your grandpa. And I don’t know if you ever know exactly how . . . I mean, you’ve heard some stories about how your mom and your dad got together, but I . . . it was the reason your dad never graduated college. Like it was hard. When my dad died, I didn’t know how to handle it. He died--you know he had cancer, and he was slipping away, he had brain cancer, and I didn’t want to go to college. But he told me he was strong, he would make it, and when I was there freshman year, he went back to work. He wasn’t supposed to go back to work but I think he was just tired of being stuck inside, and he shouldn’t have been there. And he slipped, and he wasn’t ready, and he died. And I wasn’t there. And I told my mom I didn’t want to go to college. And yeah, I mean, I was shut down. I didn’t know how to feel for the longest time. And that’s . . . it’s normal. I think there’s a lot of things in life that happen to people that you don’t know how to feel. And I don’t know what’s happened to Yeet. This world is crazy, people are going into slavery when they’re young kids, so, God, I can’t even imagine what’s happened to Yeet. But--

Oof. Oof. Okay.

First off, props to Darryl for finally expressing an emotion! Talking about his dad’s death and the way it affected him and admitting that he didn’t know how to feel is a super important milestone for him.

I do take issue with “everyone feels like that sometimes” and “that’s normal” though. I know this wasn’t Darryl’s intention, but hearing things like that when I was a depressed young teen was the absolute worst thing, because to me it communicated “being sad all the time is normal, not wanting to exist is normal; everyone deals with this and I’m just handling it worse than they are.” I didn’t need people to tell me it was normal, I needed someone to acknowledge that something was wrong and that I needed and deserved help. Again, my experiences aren’t universal, but I’d wager Grant has similar needs in this case. 

All that said, I think this had more of a positive than negative effect for Grant. Even though Darryl stumbles a bit and hits on that “everyone deals with that” idea that I dislike, he also expresses that, at least to an extent, he can relate to what Grant is going through. Grant might leave this conversation thinking “this is normal and I should just get better at dealing with it,” but Darryl is also trying to tell him that he understands, that he’s a safe person to talk to, and that Grant isn’t alone, and I think those messages come through too, even if they’re not expressed perfectly. 

Grant: What made that go away? What did you . . . when did you stop feeling like that? 

Darryl: I mean, your mom. She-

Grant: oh.

Anthony: And he immediately starts crying. Not sobbing, but just like tears streaming down his face.

Matt: Tears start streaming down Darry’s face too and I go

Darryl: Yeah, it’s--she’s the best woman in the world, I mean, she knew, and honestly, sometimes I feel like you know, if I feel like I’m not good enough, I wonder if maybe she just stays stuck here, that she was . . . oh, I shouldn't say that, you’re too young for that. But your mom loves me very much and I love her very much. And yeah, she’s the reason I got through it. And you know, it’s never gone, which is why I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know if I should talk to my dad or . . . the fact that he could be here for some reason, but . . . look, kiddo, life’s never gonna get easier, life’s never easy, but as long as you’ve got people around you that love you, and I love you, you’ll get through it. And you’ve just got to hold onto the positive stuff. 

Grant: Thanks. Yeah, no I--I love you too.

Oof 2: Electric Boogaloo. 

Much like in the previous few lines, there’s a mixture of good and bad messages here, but in this case I think the more harmful ones come through more strongly than the good. 

“Life’s never easy, but as long as you’ve got people around you that love you, and I love you, you’ll get through it” is good! HOWEVER, Darryl essentially saying that Carol fixed all his problems is an issue for a couple of reasons. 

1. “Love cures depression” is just in general a really shitty idea to perpetuate, and it’s especially hard-hitting for Grant in the aftermath of getting rejected by his crush, who was one of the few people who made him feel anything. Plus, it pushes Grant back towards his perspective that his dad “got the thing that mattered the most to him early on in life.” Darryl made a lot of progress in showing Grant that he understands some of what he’s going through, but communicating that Carol made everything better and that love made those issues go away dampens that effect a bit. 

2. Darryl has a habit of idolizing the people he loves and looks up to, and we hear that especially every time he talks about his dad or Carol. He puts them on pedestals and that makes it a lot harder for him to realize they’re humans with flaws and problems of their own. 

Darryl: You wanna just cry for a little bit?

Thinking about this in contrast to Grant telling Yeet two episodes ago that he’s never seen his dad cry or be scared. I have no further comments. 

Darryl: Grant, are you hungry?

Grant: Yeah, no yeah I’m always  . . . I mean, I would eat.

I’m not the first person to mention this, but in previous episodes Grant has turned away food and said he’s not hungry, even after not being fed for a few days (that’s depression, babey!), so “I would eat” is SUCH a good, subtle indication that he’s doing a little better. 

Darryl: Hey Grant, I just want you to know, you don’t--it doesn’t have to be fixed right now. And I just want you to know, if you ever want to talk again and you just need me to be there, like . . . it’s not a one-time thing. 

This line is competing with “you don’t have to judge what you’re feeling based off of how I’m feeling” for the title of Most Important Thing Darryl said. It’s so so good that the characters and players know that this isn’t something that one conversation will fix, and that this is just one step in an ongoing process. This one conversation didn’t by any means fix Grant’s depression, but it was a huge step forward in terms of establishing a relationship between Grant and Darryl where he feels safe and supported talking about it.

[thefandomcassandra]

if ur still doing the challenge... One of the dads and their dads

I see the DnDaddies fandom has discovered and become enamored with my brand of Sad Bullshit! HAHAHAHA! Thanks so much :>

Anyway, have this, an extension of the prompt given to me, because I have 0 chill.

---

Glenn was breathing in, holding, and exhaling. He couldn't find it in himself to joke right now. He didn't think any of them could, but he's certain they could tell he's on edge.

It fucking sucked and he's trying to force it all down, like tamping on vom when he's on a roller coaster and kinda overindulged on the munchies. It's not working and he hates it.

You know, the worst part isn't that the purple dicks (might be but probably aren't because that has some super fucked-up implications with regards to Morgan and a couple fucking dozen other things) are their dads. It's that, out of all of them, as far as he could tell, he shouldn't be the worst off right now.

Bill...Bill wasn't a bad dude. Not really. He just wasn't ever around. And sure, that fucking sucked ass for lil' Glenn back when he had shit he needed a dad for, but also...it's not like he hit him, like it seemed Willy did. And he wasn't verbally shitty like Barry. He just...wasn't.

So he was hyperventilating in the van, Nick inches away, cool as hell, and he had no damn reason to be doing that. Another dope fucking dick move for Glenn Close. Hurrah. Mark it on the board.

Instead, he opted to silently have a breakdown. Everyone else had it worse than him anyway. He didn't deserve to make his issues everyone else's. He'd just be seen and not heard, silent, in the Odyssey, like he deserved.

---

Ron was doing a series of mental gymnastics as they drove off at top speed. One: what was his dad doing here? Two: why did he have magic? Three: what did he want with Terry Jr again? Something to do with magic and dads, right? Four: did that mean that he, himself, was not a good enough son for Willy to have been satisfied? Five: what was Paeden to him with this new information he had? Six: did Willy being alive in this world mean that the life insurance check he got and cashed when he died was fraudulent?

(He very pointedly was not thinking about how his chest hurt from clenching when Willy got close to him. He very pointedly was ignoring the hammering of his heart because hey, this always happened when be saw Willy; it was a Dad Thing and it's fine. It's cool. He has Terry Jr with him and he doesn't need to worry about that for now.)

(He tried to shut up the echoing remainder of Willy saying "this is what I sound like when I'm fucking mad" that's in his head. It's been constant for minutes. He's having trouble remembering if it's real or another one of his night terrors.)

No, he's busy thinking about Samantha and insurance and Terry Jr and if Paeden is his brother or his kid or just some dude they like having around. Nothing more, nothing less.

And his hands aren't shaking because Willy didn't drow and he didn't not help him back on dry land and it's not his fault because he's here, alive, kinda, and that's good that's good that's good—

---

Henry is decidedly having a Not Great time. It's not like having his two gorgeous boys back is bad — the opposite, because now he knows what they're getting into, as opposed to worrying himself literally sick wondering — but they aren't helping either.

Well, okay, Lark isn't helping like he always doesn't help. He's loud and mischevious and full of wild energy and, normally, Henry would be all for the expression of his truest self but...everyone was on edge and a small boy with a knife in a van full of people who have shoestring tense nerves is a bad idea.

Sparrow is...he's trying to help and that's the problem, to some degree. It's too close. Too similar.

Henry doesn't talk about his dad. Didn't talk to his dad. In fact, insofar as the twins were concerned, their abuelito and abuelita were their only grandparents. He didn't...didn't mean to...expose them to...

Deep breath in. Hold. Deep breath out. Hold.

Repeat.

Calm.

Clarity.

It's just that...he had an okay childhood! He did! But Barry didn't...and there just was this whole...and he...!

He couldn't be like him and so...maybe that was his biggest issue.

In. Hold. Out. Hold.

Calm. Calm. Calm.

But he couldn't keep pushing it down. The dam was gonna burst eventually. It had been cracking already but he couldn't do that in front of his boys.

He couldn't.

In. Hold. Out. Hold.

Repeat.

Clarity.

Henry was Not Okay.

---

Daryl felt guilty. Was it okay for him to feel guilty? He felt more guilty for feeling guilty. A guilt oroborous.

It's just...everyone else's dads seemed to be real pieces of shit and also fucking the jackasses in purple who kidnapped them and then later their kids and his? His was...noticibly missing. It put thinks into perspective, in a way.

He felt guilty coz it seemed like his dad was the only one that didn't suck.

Willy Stampler was loud and angry and it put a chunk of Ron's mannerisms and hangups into a clearer light. Bill Close was strangely laid back and chill in a way that felt like cold rain and cigarette smoke instead of warm blankets and music, like Glenn. Barry Oaks was stupidly passive aggressive, full of vitriol and spite disguised as calm suggestions, and it set Henry off in a way Daryl hadn't seen before.

So he drove the Odyssey towards Neverwinter with everything he had, choosing to think about how Grant and Lark and Sparrow and Terry Jr and Nick and Paeden were there. About how they didn't die. About how they were gonna go home. About how close their goal was.

And he didn't think about his dad. Not. One. Bit.

[crookshanks23]

Season 1, Episode 11: From Dusk 'Til Dad

Favorite quote/moment: Beth's tight 5

General thoughts:

Intro is fun in this one. Always down for more Paeden.

The moment with Cern in the car is so horrible and funny. I totally get the energy of forgetting something that happened between sessions. That's happened to me a couple of times, which is why I take copious notes when I play now. It's the serious moments like this that remind us that there are stakes in this funny world they've built. Goodbye Cern. We'll see you later.

This episode has some fun combat and the introduction of the vampire stuff. We get more Darryl brewing and Ron's tight 5. A sort of middling episode, but still a good one. And we get to meet Erin O'Neil. She's a great NPC.

Nice stinger ending " what's up with that "? This is the run of great stinger endings.

And next time... More on Terry Jr. Poor kid.

[crookshanks23]

Season 1, Episode 34: Dedicated Involved Loving Fathers

(Note: This is a long one y'all. I ended up typing out all of my thoughts on this one)

Favorite Moment: The entire phone call with Beth May.

General Thoughts:

All right: because I'm really curious, I want to sit and log my feelings as I listen to this. As I mentioned in my previous post, this is the one episode that I've not been able to relisten to because it set me off the first time I heard it. I was listening to the podcast in the car, because I was doing a lot of commuting, and I was so confused by this episode that I exited out of the episode a couple of different times, sure that I had accidentally skipped an episode. And that confusion has just really put me off from this episode. Looking back on the episode, it's very clever, from what I can remember of it, but it bothered me so much. Maybe it's because I was driving, and so instead of just being a fun time, it became this huge distraction.

So, what I remember of this episode, is that there is a fight with bounty hunters and somehow they end up riding on a bunch of animals. And there are some shenanigans with Dennis. But that's it. Most of the details of this episode are not in my brain anymore.

So here we go, let's see how I feel about this one on my second go-around. (By the way, I finished episode 33 over a week ago, have hit play on this episode three times, and have been unable to listen to it. But now it's time. I'm going to do this.)

This intro is very dumb, but very funny. And I love a good "flip to side two" joke. It makes my old millennial heart happy.

The whole table talk and Dad fact portion does a great job of integrating Ashley naturally. So flawless it threw me.

Grant's nickname is shooter? Oh no. The context of that now is unfortunately not a funny baby poop joke. Oof.

Again, so nonchalant in with the Dennis stuff. And I didn't realize that he was also a rogue. No wonder Ron doesn't like him.

His anchor is at the librarium decepticus? That's so smart.

Thanks Ron, for saying all the things I felt listening to this the first time.

Okay, enjoying the episode so far. Doing a quick check-in on how I'm feeling. Maybe it's just me and this horrible bias I have against this episode, but it feels different. It's still enjoyable and I'm still smiling while I'm listening, but it's more that I'm enjoying the heat between Ron and Dennis. I don't know, this is a weird experience.

Ron fell on to his dagger? There's definitely some shenanigans happening here. Accident? I think not!

Poor Grant. Why give him an axe? I had forgotten about all of the additional trauma that happens to this boy in this episode.

Dennis has always been Paeden's favorite? Ugh. Feels awful. Poor Darryl.

Ron doing what Dennis does is great.

RIP jug. It was a cool, useful item.

I'm just happy to be here. Ok, that was flawless. Hats off to Ashley for that one.

So much shade being thrown towards Ron AND Beth. I don't like it. But I like it.

The energy. Is so weird.

It's not bad, for a combat episode. But doesn't feel like how they do combat. More like how actual combat goes in a DnD game.

Okay, another feelings check in. I really do love the Ron anti-Dennis heat. It is very funny.

So we're now 30 minutes from the end of the episode, and the combat is over. And I have no idea what is left because I don't remember anything else from this episode.

Ok, the entire Beth May phone call is hysterical.

Love that Erin hates Dennis too. Oh wait. Nope. She's playing hard to get. That is pretty funny.

Mr. Mustache meets Terry! And Terry finally believes Ron!

Dennis brings up Scam... And reveals himself as Mark. Glenn's line of "Mark- what did you do with Dennis?" Very funny. He's revealed and then disappears.

And there's some planning and apologizing and that's it. I did it!

And next time, we get to what I consider the official start of Arc 2. Let's go get some anchors!