#park jirmin angst

[dreamer95]

Love Me Not

Theme; Angst

Warnings; Heartbreak, Sadness. Super Low Self-Esteem. 

Summary: You are used to the heartbreak. Why did you think this time was going to be different?

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    “Jimin, what are you doing here?” You opened the door and were surprise to see your boyfriend of 3 years on the other side. Don’t get it wrong you were happy to see him but usually he tells you beforehand he is coming over. Due to his idol life.

    “Hey babe, I’m sorry I just pop out of nowhere” Jimin said walking into your house, to the living room and sitting down on the couch.

    “I don’t mind. We haven’t seen each other in weeks. I’m glad you are here. I miss you so much” you rod him while snuggling close to him. You love Jimin, he was your everything. After years of heartbreak you finally found the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

    You felt Jimin stiff next you when you went to give him a kiss, with a confused look you asked, “Everything okay Jimin?” 

    You noticed how Jimin was looking anywhere but you. He was playing with his hands. You knew what it meant you have dealt with it in the pass, you felt your heart dropped to your stomach and you took in a deep breath preparing yourself for what is about to come. 

    “I’m sorry (y/n), you know I never wanted to hurt you right?” Jimin finally looked up at you. You saw it in his eyes, the guilt, the shame, the hurt every single emotion. You looked down at your hands scared to for the next words that were going to come out sooner or later.

You heard Jimin sigh, “I think we should break up.” 

    There it was. You were surprise that you even heard him, it was such a low whisper that you thought your mind was playing tricks on you. 

    “Oh umm, why? Did I do something wrong?” You asked looking at your hands covering your face, scared to show him the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes.

    “No, of course not.” Jimin took your hands in his, you love the feeling of his hands on yours. They felt like they belong there but once again you were left broken. 

    “I just, I just think it would be for the best. You know I love you but umm. I’m so sorry. I have to be honest with you.” You heard him say. Here is the moment of truth.

    “I found someone else” There it was, you were so used to those words but coming from Jimin just broke whatever strength you had left.

“Oh, I see.” You whisper, wiping your tears. 

    “I didn’t mean to hurt you (y/n). I just happened. I didn’t cheat on you before you start thinking I did. I still love and care about you, but it isn’t the same anymore. We barely see each other and with my job it just makes it harder. She was there when I needed someone, and I knew that I couldn’t keep doing this to you. Hurting you was never ever my intention.” 

    At this point you were crying, covering your face with your hands. You thought Jimin was the one for you, finally after every heartbreak you went through, Jimin was your happily ever after. 

    “Please say something” Jimin was trying to get you to look at him but you couldn’t. 

    You took a deep breath and wiped your tears, you looked up at him and you noticed the tears slipping from his eyes. 

    You wiped them away, “I’m really sorry (y/n) I never wanted to hurt you” He said. looking at you with shame all over his face. He was the reason you were hurting.

    “It’s okay Jimin, I’m used to it. You aren’t the first guy to walk out on me. Ha I should have seen it coming though. You are this big idol and I’m just a regular girl that just graduated community college. Why would you be with someone like me? You aren’t the first guy, every guy I dated or was interested in sooner or later left me for someone way better. Ha I thought this time it was different but who am I kidding I would never be good enough for you” Your heart was hurting, you felt like someone was stabbing it. 

    Jimin looked torn as soon as those words left your mouth, he knew about your past and how insecure you were about your relationship with him. He did the one thing he promised he would never do because you were it for him. He never picture falling for the new girl working at BigHit. 

“Does she make you happy?” You asked looking at your hands. 

“Umm, yea” you heard him say.

“Oh, okay then…I will pack my things and leave”

    “No, you can stay here. This is more your home than it ever was mine.” It’s like every word coming out of his mouth was tearing you apart. 

    “Umm maybe just until I can go back to the (y/h/t). There’s nothing for me here anyways.” You said getting up from the couch walking to the other side of the room staring at your picture with him. You guys looked so happy, you chuckled taking a deep breath you looked back him.

    “I’m glad you’re happy, I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you. But I do wish you the best” You said.

    “You are more than enough (y/n). Don’t ever think you weren’t because you are the most amazing girl I have ever met. You are caring, loving, beautiful just everything a guy would die for-” 

    “But yet I wasn’t enough for you or anybody else in my past. Someone better always comes in and takes away what I love the most. There must be something wrong with me” You cut him off.

“(y/n)-” Jimin sigh trying to pull you close to him. 

    “No Jimin, it’s okay really. Like I said I’m used to it, you aren’t the first guy to break up with me for that reason. I think you should go; she is probably waiting for you. I wish you the best Jimin, I swear I am so happy for you. Seeing you happy is enough for me. Please lock the door on your way out.” You place a kiss on his cheek, tears streaming down his eyes.

    You walked away to your now room, and locked the door sliding down bringing your knees to your chest. Crying your eyes out you heard the door open and close. You knew Jimin left and now you were officially alone, broken and ashamed that you couldn’t be enough for him. 

    Days passed and you finally decided to get out and get some fresh air. being stuck in the house was suffocating everything reminding you of him. You missed him but you knew that he was happy with someone else. You went to the park and sat down on the bench with your music playing on full blast. You were watching the people walk past you laughing and enjoying their life while you were hurting inside. 

    You took a deep breath and looked down at your hands thinking of how shitty your life became to be. Taking another deep breath, you looked up again only to caught a sight you weren’t ready to see, at least not yet.

    There he was laughing and holding hands with his new girl. His friends smile and messing around him just having a good time. You and Jimin could never make your relationship public and seeing him with her in the opened, happy was stab to your heart. You dated Jimin for three years and not once where you allowed to make it public with him. It has only been a few days that he left you and is now holding hands with another girl showing her off to the world. 

    “Was he ashamed of you? Is that why he left you because you were not good enough for him? Fuck why does it hurt so much?” You thought.

    You saw they were walking your direction, you got up quickly and start to walk fast trying to get away before they saw you. You knew that they wouldn’t care if they saw you. It’s been days and none of the boys have texted or call to ask how you were but why would they? They were Jimin’s friends not yours. 

    You were trying to get away from them that you didn’t notice a group of guys walking towards you, bumping into you dumping one of the guys coffee all over you. 

    “WTF! CAN’T YOU WATCH WERE YOU GOING YOU STUPID BITCH!” The guys that had his coffee spilled all over you screamed at you trying to wipe away some that landed on him. 

    “Oh My God I’m so sorry! I didn’t notice where I was going.” You told him trying to clean him off a bit, but he pushed you off him. At this point everybody was staring at the scene in front of them including Jimin and his friends. His girlfriend had left during the time you were running away.

    “Don’t fucking touch me you stupid girl. Don’t you see what you have done. You got coffee all over my clothes! You better pay for this!” He said glaring at you. Compared to him he only had a few small drops on his jacket, you on the other hand were cover from head to toe in coffee. 

    “I’m really sorry! It was an accident. I swear I’ll pay for the dry cleaning!” You told him looking down at your hands.

     “You’re worthless piece of shit. How can you be so stupid? What goes in that stupid head of yours?” The guys said while poking you on your head. 

    You just took in whatever he told you, there was not point on fighting with him. No matter how many times you apologize it wasn’t enough for the guy. You felt his poking stopped when you looked up you saw an incredibly angry Jimin grabbing his hand and glaring at the guy and his friends.

    “Is that any way to treat a lady?” Jimin said through his teeth. The rest of the members were behind him glaring at the guys. Jimin pushed his hand away from your head. 

“This isn’t any of your business man.” The guys said dusting off his coat.

    “The moment you laid your hand on her in a public space it became my business.” Jimin said stepping in front of you. 

“Whatever man, she is just a worthless girl. Why do you care?” He said folding his arms across his chest. 

    “Man, you sure have a mouth on you don’t you. Just get out of here before we do something we regret.” You heard Jungkook said standing next to you. The guys looked at you one last time before walking away. You finally let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

    “(y/n) are you okay?” Jimin asked turning to face you. You looked at the rest of the members them looking at you with pity before your eyes landed on Jimin. 

    “Oh, umm yea, thank you! I should go” You tried walking away, Jimin got a hold of your wrist holding you back. 

    “(y/n) wait” Jimin said looking at you, noticing how skinnier and paler you have gotten in only a few days. “Are you taking care of yourself?” 

     You pulled away from him, pulling your wrist close to you. “I’m fine Jimin, you don’t have to worry about me” 

“You know I still care about you.” He whispered only for you and the members to hear. 

    “Don’t okay? I’m fine. I’m not your concerned anymore.”  You said while looking at him with teary eyes. You hated yourself for being so weak when it came to him. 

    “(y/n)” You cut him off. “Just stop okay, stop acting like you care about me. You don’t, thank you standing up for me but I’m fine. I don’t need you. Please excuse me” You said finally walking away from him, running towards your house. You knew it was a mistake to leave your house. 

Should I Make Part 2? What do you guys think?

Sorry for the Angst, I’m an angst person lol But I won’t lie I teared up a bit writing this story. We all know out boys are sweet angels; this is just a made up story. 

[dreamer95]

Love Me Not (Final)

Theme; Angst & Fluff.

Warnings; Heartbreak, Sadness. Super Low Self-Esteem. Abuse & Toxic Relationship. Mention of sex. 

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    You woke up your body feeling sore. You noticed the white walls and the beeping sounds coming from next to your bed. You looked down to see Jimin sleeping by your side. He looked so peaceful, “Jimin, w-wake up” you shock his hand that was intertwined with yours. 

    Jimin opened his eyes slowly, looking around before his eyes landed on yours. “(Y/N) Hey you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He said in a gentle voice sitting next to you on the bed holding your hand tightly. 

    “W-where am I? W-what happened?” You looked at him confused and scared. “W-where is Jake?” You jumped up scared looking around. 

    “Hey hey, you’re okay. Jake can’t touch you anymore and you’re in the hospital. You passed out when we got to your place. Jake actually hit you pretty hard in the head but because of the adrenaline in your bother you didn’t feel it until after.”

    “You guys saved me why?” you looked at him confused. “B-but who did you know Jake was there?” 

    “(Y/N). I noticed the bruises and the way he would treat you when I was with Yuri. Jungkook and Yoongi noticed as well. Why were you still with him? Why did you let him treat you that?” Jimin looked like he was in the verge of tears. 

    “Because I figured that it was the only type of love I deserved” You mumbled. “I mean I thought we were happy and even after giving you everything you still left me” you shrugged. “So, what is the difference of having some mistreat me. Giving you everything wasn’t enough. Plus, why would you stay with me? When Yuri is so beautiful and well put together. She fits in your life more than me” You smiled weakly wiping a tear that escape. “T-thank you for saving me…you didn’t have too really. But I appreciate, tell the boys I said thank you.”

    Jimin stayed quiet just staring at you with guilt, regret and sadness in his eyes. He knew he took you for granted, he was aware that he probably broke you being repair. Looking at you now, he didn’t think that you would end up in the hospital because of the stupid mistake he decided to make. If he could take it back he would in a heartbeat because he finally figured that letting you go was probably the stupidest mistake he had ever made. 

    Before he could say anything the doctor came in with 6 other smiling face. “Ms. (Y/L/N), I see you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He smiled gently glancing down at the clipboard. 

    “I’m feeling good doctor just have a headache really but other than that I’m feeling good” you smiled. 

    “It’s normal, seems that the guy hit you pretty hard on the head. But I prescribed you some medication. The nurse will bring it to you in a few, but you are free to go. Do you or your friends have any question for?” He asked looking around room. 

   “Is she going to get release today?” Hoseok asked. 

    “Yes, but she does have to be in bed rest for a few weeks due to her injury. It gave her a small concussion. So, she cannot be left alone.” He stated looking at the boys before nodding and heading out. 

   “I’m going to go sign the discharge papers and get the medication. Come on boys let’s give them some privacy” Namjoon said and opened the door for the rest of the guys. The guys came and each one of them gave you a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room.

    “We’ll wait for you guys downstairs in the waiting room” Jin said closing the door behind him. 

    “You guys really don’t have to stay with me. I can take care of me” You whispered. You slowly got out of bed and started making your way towards your clothes. But as soon as you reached them you almost fell only to fall into Jimin’s arms. 

    “You have to be careful. Here let me help you change” You nodded not have the energy to argue with him. Once he got you dressed and packed all your stuff, you started walking towards the waiting room. 

   You noticed Jimin was quiet with you, but he was holding your hand. You couldn’t help but smiled missing the feeling of his hands on yours. You stopped yourself from thinking anything else, you knew Jimin didn’t have feelings for you anymore. He was just here because he pities you. 

   You quickly pulled away not noticing Jimin frowning as you pulled away. Once you got to the waiting room, you saw the boys waiting for you. They smiled as they got up and started walking towards the car, you following behind them quietly. Jimin opened the car door for you and you got it him following behind. 

    After a while of arguing you finally cave in and let the boys take you back to their dorms. That’s where you were going to stay until you got better. 

    “Jimin? Can you hold me?’ You whispered as you laid down on his bed feeling tired. You felt the bed sink next to you and a pair of arms wrapping around your waist pulling you close to him. You leaned into him loving the feeling, you sigh softly before closing your eyes. 

   “I’m sorry (y/n). I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I still love you and I know I’m late on my apology, but I hope you can forgive me. I want us to happen again. But I know it’s going to take some time before you trust me. I promise I will never hurt you the way I did. Just please give me another chance.” you heard him whispered into your ear, his grip on you tighten not enough to hurt you. 

   “Please, I’m sorry baby... I can’t live without you” he said before kissing you head feeling a few tears fall down from his face. Jimin didn’t cry much mostly at concerts and seeing him cry in front of you made your heart hurt. 

   “Jimin I can’t forgive you complete but I’m willing to try and make us work again. Just please don’t hurt me anymore” Jimin grabbed you chin turning you to face him before kissing you passionately. 

   “I promise I’ll never hurt you again”