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camillemontespan · 4 years

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writing camille montespan and the problem with the TRR MC

Basically, an opinion piece about the TRR MC and a short essay on Camille Montespan. Feel free to add your own opinions and maybe write your own about your MC/OC!

@moonlightgem7 @jovialyouthmusic @ibldw-main @katedrakeohd @pug-bitch @saivilo @argylemnwrites @rainbowsinthestorm @marshmallowsandfire @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @gardeningourmet @princessleac1 @axwalker @mskaneko @emichelle ***************

Can we all agree that the TRR MC is slightly flawed? And perhaps a little annoying? And a hot mess with no idea of how to fit into the nobility? Who basically improvises everything she does while stringing the King of Cordonia along (if he isn’t your LI) and solves every problem with a trip to the boutique or attending a ball?

TRR MC is not the best MC in the Choices universe and that is a hill I am willing to die on.

That’s where fanfic comes in. During my year and a half in this fandom, I’ve discovered mutuals who write stories about the TRR MC that puts the actual Choices writers to shame. MCs are fleshed out with proper back stories. The ridiculous canon story that a waitress from New York finds herself in a suitor competition in a European country - a country she’s never heard of because clearly she’s not informed on geography- is still incorporated into fics but it’s given more of a realistic twist. We are aware of how stupid the actual storyline is and so we try our best to make the best of it. Sometimes, we write AUs to fix the shit that the TRR writers have made a reality. AUs are the best.

As my writing has developed, I’ve found that I’ve created my own universe for Camille, my TRR MC. In my very first fic, This Heavy Crown, I focused more on the suitor competition and stuck to canon moments because I didn’t know you could write AUs. It was very angsty. But I found it so fun to write Camille and the fanfic writing obsession began.

Fun fact about Camille: she is actually descended from nobility. Madame de Montespan was a real life noble of Louis XIV’s court - she was his mistress. I thought it would be fun to name Camille after Madame de Montespan because how ironic would it be to have the American commoner turn out to be more regal than fucking Madeline?!

Anyway back to my writing.

Now, I tend to write AUs that have more realistic plots. My favourite series that I’ve written has been The History of Us and I will tell you why.

MY FAVOURITE CAMILLE SERIES

The History of Us (the first chapter is missing, sadly) is where Camille becomes more than just the Duchess of Valtoria. As I wrote her, she became more of a person - which sounds ridiculous but I think my fellow writers will understand due to their own writing of their MCs!

The History of Us is still set in Cordonia and Camille and Drake are Duchess and Duke. But that is where canon stops. My own head canons grew and became, to me, actual canon for Camille and Drake.

In the fic, Camille takes their daughter, Lily, and leaves the family home, clearly upset with Drake. Before she goes, she gives Drake a box and tells him to go through its contents before making any contact with her. The mystery in the opening chapter is WHY is Camille leaving? All of my readers were asking ‘what did Drake do?!’ and you eventually find out as the series develops.

In a nutshell, Drake struggles to adapt to his new role as Duke (something I found the Choices writers never attempted aside from his awkward ‘things are great!’ joke). He is a fish out of water and longs for life to be normal. While Camille has flourished in her role, Drake hasn’t and the pressure gets to him. With constant media attention, Drake feels claustrophobic and so turns to alcohol to numb himself. As a result, he isolates himself from his family and Camille is left trying to hold the ship together.

It was a challenging fic to write but I had so much fun writing more of Camille. She isn’t perfect and that is what I wanted to show. She fucks up. For the first chapters, she is very much of the idea that they present their best faces to the world and keep up their duty to Valtoria. Her Duchess hat is firmly on her head. A few of my readers were screaming in the comments that she needed to get her family out of Cordonia. I agreed with them but I knew that to make Camille realise her mistakes, she had to be stubborn and actually.. Wrong. But, as things with Drake get worse, Camille forces herself to confront what is truly important and she starts to fight for her marriage and her husband’s health.

CAMILLE IN A NUTSHELL

‘Wife and mother first, Duchess second.’ That is Camille’s motto and is something that is echoed in all of my fics. She is a fierce woman who fights Drake’s corner and the loves of her life are her family. The more confident she becomes as Duchess, the more willing she is to stick up for herself and her family. When they make decisions based on their children -eg. Sending them to a ‘normal’ school so they can mix with commoners - the nobility are outraged. But does Camille care? No. She is a lion mama who wants the best for her kids. She doesn’t want Lily and Luna to turn into stuck up rich girls. She wants them to stay grounded.

Unlike in canon when Drake and MC go to Texas and are stuck there against their will (or was it us, the players, who were stuck there against our will?), I write that Drake and Camille visit Texas every summer. It’s a slice of normality for them and they love it there. It’s where Camille can just be Camille. When Camille isn’t a Duchess, she can be more relaxed. She goofs around and plays with her daughters. She wears more casual clothes and drinks whiskey. She is the Camille that Drake fell in love with, not that he doesn’t love her when she’s a Duchess! It’s just that the Duchess Camille is a more refined version and how polished and elegant she can be scares him sometimes, while also making him feel in awe of her. This is a woman who entered Cordonian nobility without any experience and actually listened to advice and worked hard to adapt (something TRR MC does not). Basically, Camille has two sides to her, the Duchess and the commoner, and she strikes a neat balance between the two.

I base the foundation of her character on her face claim, Meghan Markle. I find it funny when mutuals have told me in the past that when they see Meghan on TV or in magazines, they’re like ‘oh it’s Camille!’

Why have Meghan as an FC? Well, I feel she resembles my TRR MC closely, plus Meghan was literally an American commoner who found herself marrying into royalty.

What I love about Meghan is how keen she is to make a difference. She threw herself into royal duties when she married Prince Harry and, like Diana before her, she made a huge impression on the people she met. I’m sad that she and Harry left their roles as Meghan had so much potential.

So, Camille basically does the stuff that I think Meghan would do if she was still a working royal.

Camille is a feminist who works to promote women’s equality in the workplace. She wants Cordonia to modernise (something lacking under Constantine’s rule) and now that Liam is King, that dream will become a reality. She imagines a future for her daughters where they can have any job they want and be whoever they want to be; the sky is the limit. Everything she does is for her daughters.

Despite wanting Cordonia to modernise, Camille is also respectful of their history. In my head canon, Drake and Camille discover that Valtoria used to hold Open Houses. An open house is when the people of Valtoria can visit the Duke and Duchess and talk to them about issues within the duchy. Open houses hadn’t been a thing for 200 years but when Camille and Drake discovered this old piece of history, they reintroduced the concept. Basically, Camille wants to use her platform for good - something which the TRR MC is lacking. All TRR MC does is go to balls and act like an idiot! Where is the responsibility? Where is the interest in learning more about the duchy? Why is she never at her duchy?!

If you want to read more of Camille, I point you to the interview I wrote of her. I love writing interviews as they are like a character study and it’s so fun to delve into the personality. Writing this interview was a joy. The words flowed and I was so pleased with how it turned out. It’s the definitive piece about Camille and who she is.

#camille

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ladynonsense · 5 years

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Doomed Ship (ARD Alternate Ending)

Remember when I wrote a perfectly nice ending to A Royal Disgrace, where everyone lived happily ever after? Well, by popular request...here’s a different ending entirely. Diverges at chapter 10. The entirety of Perfect Match 1&2 and TRR3 happened between the end of ARD and this fic.

Pairing: Liam x Damien

Rating: M (I guess...fairly suggestive in parts but no smut)

Words: 5854

Damien bounced his phone in his lap anxiously, waiting for permission to turn it back on.

Finally the plane rolled to a stop, and he pushed the power button, still bouncing it nervously as he waited for it to connect to a network and download his messages.

I can’t wait to see you.

I hate that I can’t be there when you land. I’m sending someone to collect you.

You’re going to love Cordonia.

God I’ve missed you. I’ll see you tonight.

He tucked his phone back into his pocket, trying to fight the goofy grin that was determined to take over his face. Visiting the Cordonian royal palace was well outside of his comfort zone, but in a few short hours it was going to be more than worth it.

A familiar face met him at the terminal, holding a sign with “NAZARIO” printed in neat black letters. “Hey, Bastien! Good to see you again.”

Bastien nodded. “Good to see you, Mr. Nazario. I’ve been asked to escort you to the palace.”

He followed him out of the terminal to where his black armoured SUV was waiting. “Can’t say I expected to get the king’s personal bodyguard as my ride.”

Bastien held the door for him before getting into the driver’s seat himself. “Your safety during your visit is of utmost importance to His Majesty.”

He chuckled quietly to himself. This was too weird. He’d been mentally preparing for weeks to walk into Liam’s world, but it still felt surreal to be in a strange country as a guest of the royal family. “So we’re heading straight to the palace?”

“Yes,” Bastien answered. “A room has been prepared for you there.”

“Great.” He pulled out his phone to text Liam.

I’m on my way to the palace.

He stared at the screen nervously waiting for a response.

You’d better be.

Fuck. He bit his lip, ducking down so Bastien wouldn’t see his face in the rearview mirror. His face -- and, for that matter, the rest of him -- couldn’t be trusted not to respond involuntarily when Liam was feeling flirty.

When will I see you?

He saw three little dots appear and then disappear, over and over. Finally…

Soon, Love. I have one more quick meeting and then I’m yours.

His stomach did a little flip. Liam had been calling him that more often lately, and he’d yet to acknowledge it. As much as he cared for him, he couldn’t tell him he loved him, not now. Not when their future...hell, even their present...just seemed impossible.

A “doomed ship,” Kai called it once, when he was being drunk and careless and mean. Damien had to ask Sloane later what that meant. He hated that the words stuck in his brain, coming to mind every time he tried and failed to envision a life with the man he--

Fuck.

He tucked his phone into his pocket, focusing instead on the Cordonian scenery, barely visible through the deeply tinted windows at night. He could see the lights of the palace, now, though. Bathed in warm floodlights, it looked like something out of a fairy tale. For some reason his first thought upon seeing it was to wonder whether he would be able to wear his shoes inside. Were his socks matching today?

Stop being an idiot.

They were met by a porter at the door, who insisted on carrying his one modest carry-on bag to his room for him. The palace corridors were wide and ornately decorated, with oil portraits of past kings and queens adorning the walls. Damien read the names as they walked, none of them ringing any bells until he saw a handsome and stately older man in somewhat more modern dress. King Constantine. Liam’s father, who had been killed in an attack on the palace just a month prior. So many late night conversations, listening quietly as Liam had tried to talk through his feelings, his voice cracking with grief. Trying to fight back the feeling of panic knowing that Liam was the intended target...knowing he was too far away to protect him.

It felt so real now, seeing the portrait here, the date of his death freshly engraved beneath. He could imagine Liam wandering these halls, stopping here to stare, to try to feel a connection to what he lost.

He hoped to see a portrait of Liam next, imagining how regal he would look rendered on canvas like the others. But the next painting he came to was a coastal landscape.

Apparently this hall belonged to the dead kings only.

---------------------------------------------------

Liam sat in his office talking about nothing of any specific importance with the visiting trade minister, focusing all his attention on smiling and making eye contact, keeping up the appearance of a good host.

Internally he chastised himself for not cancelling this meeting outright. Yesterday it had seemed so important to prove to himself that Damien’s visit wouldn’t interfere with his regular schedule. Now it seemed pointless. All he could think about was Damien all alone in his room at the other end of the palace, waiting.

The longer the meeting dragged on, the more his longing morphed into anxiety. Had he made it to his room OK? Had he found something to eat? Was he angry at how long he was having to wait?

“Will you excuse me a minute? I just need to attend to something.” The minister looked on in surprise as Liam stood and left the room, finding Bastien outside the door. “Could you have the kitchen send a meal up to my guest, please? If he hasn’t already requested something himself?”

Bastien nodded. “Anything in particular?”

“Something good. Your favourite. And a bottle of rum.”

“And should I let him know when to expect you?”

Liam glanced down at his watch anxiously. “Soon. I’ll be there before he’s done his meal. In fact, send my meal there as well.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

---------------------------------------------------

Damien was beyond relieved when dinner was delivered to his door. He’d just spent 45 minutes trying to figure out what the food situation at the palace was, finally resigning himself to starvation before two plates of ravioli showed up at his door.

Two...that was odd. He wondered if he should wait for Liam to show up, but he was too hungry to hold onto that idea for long.

He was just finishing his meal when he heard another knock at the door.

Liam’s smile on the other side of the door knocked the wind right out of him.

“Hello, Damien.” He stepped forward tentatively, just barely crossing the threshold.

He looked good. As flawless as ever, really, and wearing a dark grey three-piece suit that made him look even more delicious than the last time he’d seen him. He wore stylish reading glasses that caused some sort of short-circuit in Damien’s brain for reasons he couldn’t entirely explain. “Fff-- fuuuu--”

Liam stepped closer, his brow knit with concern. “Are you OK?”

He realized he must look like he was having a stroke. Death by King Liam in a well-cut suit. No more attempts at words. He pulled Liam into the room by his tie, kicking the door shut after him, and pulled his lips against his own roughly.

When they finally broke apart, Liam chuckled warmly. He took off his glasses and tucked them into his jacket pocket. “You smudged them.”

“And I’m gonna crush them if you leave them in there. Take off your jacket.”

“Yes, sir.” He obliged, hanging it carefully in the closet while Damien waited. Liam glanced at him over his shoulder and smirked before slowly removing his vest, then sat in a wingback chair to remove his shoes.

“Take your time, Your Majesty,” Damien groaned.

Liam smiled brightly. “I will, thank you.” He loosened his tie, slipping it over his head and hanging it on the doorknob before slowly making his way back to where Damien stood next to the bed. “Hey,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I missed you.”

Damien swallowed hard, melting against him. “I missed you too. So much. You have no idea.”

“I have some idea.” His kiss was gentle and patient and perfect. For the first time in months, Damien felt warm, safe, secure…home. How did he feel so at home in such a strange, foreign place?

He knew how. “Liam,” he sighed, need creeping into his voice. He sat down on the bed, Liam following him, leaning down over him to kiss him again.

He pushed Damien down, settling down against him, straddling his hips. “Damien, I love you.”

Damien frowned, propping himself up on his elbows. “Liam…”

“I know you’re not ready to say it. And we have a lot to talk about. But I can’t have that conversation without you knowing that I love you. It’s…” his voice cracked briefly with emotion, and he cleared his throat. “It’s important. It’s the most important thing.”

He stared up into Liam’s eyes, speechless. God, he was beautiful. And he did…care about him. So much. But… “Can we table this discussion for the moment? Please?”

“Mmm…” he sat back on his heels, unbuttoning his shirt. “...for a moment.”

---------------------------------------------------

“I don’t know about you,” Liam panted, reluctantly pulling away from Damien’s naked body, “but I really need a drink.”

“Good thing somebody sent up a bottle of rum.” Damien sat up against the ornate headboard, pulling the sheet up to his waist.

Liam grabbed the bottle and poured the smooth amber liquid into two crystal tumblers. “Somebody must be very thoughtful. And probably very handsome.”

“And certainly very humble.” Damien accepted the drink gratefully, meeting Liam’s eyes for a long moment as their fingers brushed. He blushed and looked away.

“You weren’t so bashful a few minutes ago.” Liam settled back into the bed, sliding his legs against Damien’s beneath the sheets. He grinned as Damien closed his eyes and shuddered with pleasure.

“It’s hard to forget that you’re a king here. I mean...in your palace. In your country.”

Liam winced, pulling away from him. “Do you need to forget who I am to want to be with me?”

Damien groaned, reaching out for him, but Liam brushed his hand away. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean then. You told me you would never want me to abdicate.”

“And I meant it. This is who you are. I get that.”

“But you don’t like it.” His face felt hot. He knew he shouldn’t be getting emotional but...how could he not? Seeing Damien again was intense. Frighteningly intense, having him here, in his real, everyday life. And if he didn’t like it, couldn’t accept it...that hurt. More than he wanted to admit.

He reached out for him again; Liam didn’t have the strength to deny his affection a second time. Damien wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. “It’s not that. I guess I just...don’t know how I fit in.” He looked like he had more to say, but he went quiet, staring blankly at the wall while his fingers tapped out a nervous rhythm on Liam’s shoulder.

Liam sighed, not sure what to say. “I guess I should let you get some sleep.”

Damien’s hand on his shoulder tightened. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“That was the idea.”

“I want you to stay. Please.”

It was terribly improper to stay. His guards, at least, would certainly notice. Regina might too. But the thought of just curling up next to Damien and going to sleep was incredibly tempting. “I didn’t bring pyjamas or...anything.”

A wicked grin spread across Damien’s face. “I wasn’t planning on asking you to put clothes on.”

He never was any good at denying Damien what he wanted.

---------------------------------------------------

“Riley?” Damien had been trying to sleep off his jet lag after Liam left in the morning when he was surprised to find his newlywed ex at his door.

“Rise and shine! Were you still sleeping?”

He groaned. “It’s like 3am in New York.”

“Yeah, well.” She threw open the curtains, letting the late morning sunlight stream in. “You’re not in New York; you’re in Cordonia.”

“I noticed.” He pulled his robe tighter around himself. “I’m uh, not dressed.”

“Put some clothes on; I’m taking you to lunch. You’re not going to spend the whole day sulking around waiting for Liam.”

Riley summoned a car for them and took him into the city, dragging him along to various designer boutiques where he gave feedback on all manner of extravagant dresses while avoiding even looking at the menswear that was well beyond his budget.

She eventually got fed up with him and started perusing the menswear herself. “Come on dude, I know you didn’t bring anything nice enough for the ball tonight. Try this on!”

Damien frowned as he took the hangers from her. “I did bring a formal suit, you know. I’ve been to fancy galas before.”

“I guarantee this is nicer than whatever you brought. Liam will love it.”

He ran his thumb over the soft fabric of the shirt she’d picked out. It did look nice. “OK, I’ll try it on.” He went into a change room and looked over the ensemble more closely. A simple black suit, with a black shirt and tie. Nothing too flashy, but...damn. It looked great on him.

Someone knocked on the change room door. “How’s it going in there?” Riley called.

“Great, just...shit.” He looked at the price tag on the suit and nearly fainted. “Riley, there’s no way I can afford this.”

“Shut up and let me see.”

“No, I can’t--”

“It’s my ‘welcome to Cordonia’ present for you, OK? They pay me way too much for this duchess thing anyway.”

Damien sighed, reluctantly stepping out of the change room. “I do love it. You really think it’ll make an impression on Liam? Should I try something...flashier?”

Riley stood back to take him in, grinning. “No...you wearing this will be more than enough to blow him away.”

He couldn’t argue with that. “Do they have a shorter length in the pants? The fit’s a little off.”

“Don’t worry about that one bit,” a man he hadn’t noticed was standing behind him interrupted. “We can take care of any alterations.”

“Oh...great. Thank you.” He stood in front of the mirror as the tailor pinned him in several places he didn’t expect before changing back into the clothes he’d brought.

Riley led him out of the shop and to an open-air cafe selling espresso and gelato. “We’ve got a few hours to kill while they make those alterations. Anything you want to do on your first full day in Cordonia?”

He leaned back in his seat with a contented sigh, enjoying a spoonful of vanilla gelato. “Honestly? A relaxed day with a friend seems perfect.”

She smiled, spooning strawberry sorbet daintily into her mouth. “Sixteen flavours, and you chose vanilla.”

Damien shrugged. “Vanilla’s underrated. It’s delicious.”

“You know, literally the only other person I’ve ever heard say that was Liam.”

Damien didn’t bother trying to hide his wide, goofy grin. “Yeah?”

Riley rolled her eyes. “Yeah. You two are...I don’t know. It’s like you’re soulmates.”

“Can I ask you something serious?” He leaned forward, lowering his voice.

“Yeah...sure.”

“Are you still upset with me for...uh...stealing him?”

Riley let out a sharp bark of laughter but collected herself quickly, giving his hand a squeeze. “No, I’m not upset. I mean...it wasn’t your finest moment, or his. But I was fooling around too, so I can’t exactly stay up on my high horse here.” She fiddled with her wedding band. “I loved Liam, but I think I knew by that point that Drake was the love of my life. I just hope you two can be as happy together as we are.”

Damien gave a small nod, staring at the bottom of his gelato cup. “Right.”

“Do you...not want that?”

He let out a long breath, shrugging his shoulders. “I guess I’m afraid to want something that seems impossible.”

She frowned. “Don’t give up on him.”

---------------------------------------------------

Liam didn’t usually agonize too much over his clothes, but dressing for this particular ball was stressing him out. It was a charity ball, raising money for lung cancer research in honor of his father, so all eyes would be on him even more than usual.

And Damien would be there.

He settled on the royal blue tux, figuring he should stand out without looking too stuffy or superior. Plus, it meant Damien wouldn’t have to fuss with a formal sash when he took it off of him later.

When he got to the ballroom a line of nobles waited in the hall outside to be announced as they entered. He scanned the line quickly, searching for Damien and Riley, but didn’t spot them. Disappointed, he retreated to a corner behind one of his guards and waited to be the last to enter.

“Do you always hide in a dark corner outside your own party?” He looked up to see Damien, standing before him dressed in a beautifully tailored black suit.

“Damien.” He waved his guard off and wrapped his arms around Damien, squeezing him tightly. “Did Riley take good care of you today? I’m sorry I was unavailable. God, you look good.”

He blushed adorably. “Um...thanks. You too. And don’t sweat it; I knew what I was getting into when I came here.” He backed away but gave Liam’s hand a small squeeze before releasing him completely. “Should I stick with her for the rest of the night? I don’t know what to expect in there.”

“Yes. You’ll be seated with her and Drake for the meal. After that, come find me. I want to show you something.”

Damien’s eyebrows shot up.

“That’s not what I want to show you.”

He laughed. “OK, fine. I’ll come find you. I’m going to jump back in line...I’ll see you soon?”

“Absolutely.”

After the speeches, toasts, calls for donations, and finally the meal, Liam started scanning the ballroom for Damien immediately. He found him still seated with Riley and Drake, talking and laughing over drinks. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be our guest, Your Majesty,” Drake said, pulling out a chair for him.

Liam laughed. “What’s with the formality?”

“He’s obsequious when he’s drunk,” Riley answered for him. “And he is most definitely drunk.”

“Guilty as charged,” Drake confirmed with a small hiccup.

Liam laid a hand on his shoulder. “Well, I’m going to take the police officer away before you get yourself into too much trouble, OK?”

Damien rolled his eyes. “I haven’t been a cop in years.”

“Once a narc, always a narc,” Riley teased. “Get out of here.”

Liam led Damien around the edges of the dance floor, disappearing out a side door into the hidden palace courtyard. It was empty other than the guard who followed them out, discreetly turning to face back towards the ballroom.

He pressed Damien up against the wall and kissed him fiercely, letting his hands roam under his jacket and wrap around his back. Months of longing from afar had driven him crazy with lust for this man, and now he had him, finally in his arms.

And then he pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” He panted, still breathless.

Damien looked around nervously. “Shouldn’t we be a little more discreet? After, you know...everything that happened.”

Liam started to close the distance between them, but stopped when he saw Damien’s obvious discomfort. “That was different. I was engaged. You don’t have to be a scandal any more.”

He led him towards the fountain, sitting on the edge. Damien wrung his hands nervously. “What do you mean by that? You want to go public with our relationship? Subject our private lives — my private life — to all that scrutiny?”

Liam felt sick to his stomach. This was not how he wanted the night to go, but this discussion had to happen. “I won’t force you into the spotlight if you’re not comfortable with it. But I can’t stay single forever. I need to start a family for the stability of the crown.”

“Exactly. A family.” The distance between them seemed to keep increasing, like he was slipping away right before his eyes. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you, Liam. You could’ve married Riley...she would’ve been your perfect queen and given you lots of perfect little heirs. I ruined all of that for you.”

“I’m not in love with Riley. I’m in love with you.”

“Stop saying that.”

“No.” He reached out to hold Damien’s trembling hand. “Stop trying to tell me what I want. I want you here. With me.”

“That’s...you know...you know how much you mean to me. But this isn’t what you need. Or what’s expected of you. Or...I mean...I’m not here, with you, I mean I am right now, but…”

“So come live here.”

“Fuck, Liam.”

“Is that not what we’re working towards? I can come to New York maybe once a year. That’s not enough for me. Is it enough to you?”

Damien buried his face in his hands. “No. It’s not.”

“So…” Liam spoke slowly, carefully. “Come live here. Be with me.”

Damien wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You’re not...out.”

There it was. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“Yes. Don’t act like it’s nothing.”

“I know it’s not nothing, but it’s something I need to do.” He felt shy suddenly, but forced himself to meet Damien’s eyes, which welled up with tears.

“You don’t, though.”

“I...what?”

“Just...don’t, Liam. Just find a nice girl and make her your queen. I’m not worth this. You’re too important, and I’m just…”

“Are you seriously telling me I need to just shut up and pretend to be straight?”

Damien blinked at him, his mouth hanging open in surprise. “Obviously that’s not what I think, but…”

“Yes, it is. You’re the one saying it.”

“I know you should be able to be open about this, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea right now.”

Liam’s head was spinning. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but...not this. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll be heading back inside now.”

“Liam…” Damien stood as if to follow him, but seemed to freeze in place, staring at his shoes.

Liam left.

---------------------------------------------------

Damien was up all night, the mix of stress and jet lag ensuring he had plenty of time to lie around hating himself.

Coming to Cordonia was a mistake, that much was clear. He’d been weak and stupid, wanting to see Liam so badly he’d barely considered what it actually meant for them.

The doomed ship had always been sinking. Coming here had only sped things up.

And now he’d hurt the kindest man he’d ever known, the one most deserving of...fuck...the one he loved. He felt like he might vomit if he weren’t so completely hollow.

He finally fell asleep well after sunrise, pillow over his head to block out the mocking morning sun.

The knocking began what felt like minutes later, although the clock insisted four hours had passed. He tried to ignore it.

“Let me in, idiot!” Riley’s voice called through the door.

With a groan he pulled himself up out of bed. He wrapped himself in his robe and opened the door.

“Dude, you look terrible.” Riley walked right past him, making herself comfortable on top of his unmade bed. “Rough night, I hear.”

He sat next to her, flopping sideways to let his head rest in her lap. “Rough year.”

She ran her hand over his back a few times before tangling her fingers in his hair to massage his scalp. “I’m taking you to lunch, OK? I have a friend I want you to meet.”

Damien sighed and sat back up, his hair wild from Riley’s hands in it. “Does your friend know about Liam dumping me?”

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “We all know, yeah. It was a rough night for him too.”

“Is he OK?”

“He’s supported and loved but no, he’s not OK.” She stood up from the bed, smoothing her dress. “Get dressed. I’ll be right outside the door. Don’t take forever.”

They headed into the city again. It was a beautiful spring day, and the streets were bustling with tourists and weekend markets. They left the car and walked through a few narrow pedestrian-only streets to find a cozy little hole-in-the-wall bakery. Riley secured a small beef-filled pastry for him and a bacon sandwich for herself before they settled at an outdoor table to wait for her friend.

“This is delicious,” Damien marvelled, his mouth still full of warm pastry. “Cordonia’s going to make me fat.”

Riley patted her perfectly lovely tummy. “I’ve gained fifteen pounds. Having my own kitchen staff seemed like such a good opportunity to always have healthy home-cooked meals, but in reality I can’t resist the easy access to pasta.”

“Right? That pasta at the palace was unreal. Liam must be a man of incredible restraint to still look like he does with unlimited access to food like that.”

“Well, he has other vices.”

They both went quiet, the mood suddenly turning awkward. Damien was just finishing up his pastry when a tall figure showed up seemingly out of nowhere, casting a shadow over him. He looked up to see a stern redhead glaring at him with her hands on his hips.

“So what’s so great about this one?” She said, looking only at Riley.

Riley smiled. “Damien, meet Olivia. Olivia, Damien.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Olivia insisted.

“I’m not great,” Damien answered. “I’m just trying to make a graceful exit and I’ll get out of Liam’s life for good, OK? Is that what you want to hear?”

Olivia grabbed a chair from another table and pulled it over, grabbing the half-eaten sandwich out of Riley’s hand as she sat down. “No. Try again.”

“Excuse me?”

“Olivia is one of Liam’s oldest and closest friends,” Riley explained, looking mournfully after her sandwich as Olivia started to devour it. “She’s a little protective.”

She held up a finger while swallowing the last of Riley’s sandwich, then continued. “This one already broke his heart…” Riley blushed a little, hiding her face, “And now I see him all fucked up over another American...what is it with him and Americans? Anyway, the way he was last night…” She slammed her first down on the flimsy metal table, making everyone on the street stop and look at them. “You need to fix it. Today.”

Damien stared at her in shock. “I...um…”

“Damien,” Riley interjected, her voice soft and gentle. “Liam is the most beloved person in this entire country. We’re all…” she gestured at the crowds of people milling about on the streets, “all rooting for him. You say you’ve had a rough year...imagine what it’s been like for him. The responsibility that was thrust on him. All the attempts on his life. Losing his father.” She took a deep breath and let out a sad sigh. “Having the woman he loved leave him for his best friend. These past two months he’s been so strong, and I know it’s because he was leaning on you the whole time. I guess we’re struggling to understand why you held him up for so long only to come here and break his heart.”

“I didn’t...what did he tell you guys? He broke up with me.”

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, staring him down. He tried to stare back confidently, but she was truly terrifying. “Well, he told us that you resisted any talk of a future together and told him to deny his sexuality and ‘just find a nice girl’.”

“OK well when you say it like that…”

“It sounds fucking terrible?” Riley offered. “If you don’t want to be with him that’s your prerogative, but you don’t get to tell Liam how to live his life.”

“The rules are different for him…” Damien said weakly, “...right?”

Olivia stood up again, looming over him. “He makes the rules. The rest of Cordonia follows his lead. If he wants to stand up and say he’s bisexual and that the rules of succession are going to have to accommodate that fact then, well, that’s a rather personal issue for me and I would be thankful to him for it. How about you?”

“Of course,” he whispered, his face hot with shame. “Of course I want that.”

“Damien,” Riley laid her hand on his arm, her eyes searching his face, “Do you love him?”

He swallowed hard. “So much.”

“Then fix it.”

---------------------------------------------------

Liam was struggling.

He’d hardly slept, spending most of the night surrounded by his friends, drinking scotch but not as much as he wanted to. All day he’d felt like he was sleepwalking through his work, going into meetings with red swollen eyes, being asked countless times if he was feeling OK.

He was most definitely not feeling OK.

Now dinner had arrived, and he was eating alone in his office as usual. But he had no appetite. He pushed the food around on his plate for several minutes before giving up and scraping it into the trash.

Damien was here for two more days, but he might as well be gone already. He made it clear he thought their relationship was a mistake. If he’d known that it would all end so fast, he wouldn’t have spent a second of the past two days away from him. Was that why Damien thought they couldn't be together? Because he’d been too busy with work? He should’ve made more time for him. Stupid. Stupid.

A knock came at his door and he dabbed at his moist eyes with a handkerchief, trying to pull it together before the steward came in to remove his dinner dishes. “Come in!” he called, trying to keep his voice steady.

All the oxygen in the room seemed to disappear as Damien walked into the study. “Hey, Liam.”

“Oh...hi, Damien.” He stood and walked around to the front of his desk. “I didn’t expect you.”

“Yeah...we need to talk.”

“I’m so sorry,” Liam blurted out. “I’m sorry if I came on too strong...I shouldn’t have pushed you harder than you were ready for, and I should’ve made for time for you, and I should’ve visited you, and…”

“Liam, stop.” Damien took a tentative step towards him, reaching out to brush his tear-streaked cheek. “Please don’t apologize.”

“I’m so bad at this,” he stammered. “I don’t know how to date.”

Damien took both of his hands. “I don’t care. I’m in love with you.”

Did he hear that right? “You...what?”

And then Damien’s arms were wrapped tight around him, pulling their bodies flush together as his kiss swallowed Liam’s surprised moan. He brought his hands to Damien’s waist, holding him lightly, afraid to move in case he scared him off somehow. After a long moment Damien broke the kiss, nuzzling his face into Liam’s neck as he caught his breath. “I love you so much, Liam. I don’t want to lose you.”

He was so relieved he was afraid to respond. But… “I don’t want to continue like this. I want to be together for real.”

Damien nodded, leaning back to look him in the eye. “I’ll need some time to wrap up my business at home, but I can come here. I can set up shop here…”

“You can’t. I mean...you can’t be a private investigator here; you’ll be too much of a public figure. I need you to understand that. But I’m sure your skills will be useful to the guard, or the police, or intelligence...we’ll find something, if you want to work. And you can live here, if that’s OK with you. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“OK. We can figure all that out.”

“Yeah?”

He kissed some softly, lovingly. “Yeah.”

“Damien...I want to marry you.”

“Was that a proposal?”

“No. I can do better.”

He kissed him again, each one somehow more perfect than the last. “I can’t imagine anything better than this moment.”

Liam backed him up until his knees hit the back of the couch. “I can.”

---------------------------------------------------

Damien sat snuggled against Liam on the couch in his study, the two of them wrapped up in a blanket that he’d produced from a cabinet. ��You spend the night here often?”

Liam nodded, pulling Damien’s face in to rest against his naked chest. “My chambers are a little depressing. Half the time I don’t bother going home.”

“Mmm, I get that. I’ve been known to sleep at the office too.”

“Things are going to be different when you move here.”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Liam’s heart beating. “Are you nervous?”

He hesitated for a moment. “A little. I’m not entirely sure how people will react.”

“Your friends all seem to know about us already.”

“Yes. My step-mother and the other nobles might not be as open-minded, though.”

“Mmm.” He wrapped his arms tightly around Liam’s waist. “I came out to my family in high school.”

Liam stroked his hair. “How’d that go?”

“Could’ve been worse. My mom said she loved and supported me...and that she was fine with me ‘experimenting’ but hoped that I would marry a woman someday.”

“Ah. So, basically what you said to me last night.”

“I’m so sorry, Liam.”

Liam kissed the top of his head. “I know. And I’m sorry she didn’t entirely get it. Do you think she’ll be disappointed in you now?”

“Oh, no, she’s going to love you.” He hesitated, unsure if he should go on. “I had a really bad time a few years back. I...went through something really traumatic. Left my job. Lost my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It was rough. And my mother...I couldn’t face her after that relationship ended. I felt like she was going to be so disappointed in me.”

“I’m sorry, Damien.”

“No, it’s...it was just me, letting my own insecurity put up walls. Kai pushed me to reconnect with her recently. I told her about you. I mean, I didn’t tell her who you were, but I told her I’d met somebody. She was happy for me.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.” Liam nudged him to sit up, reaching for his own clothes. “And in that vein...I have an idea how to spend the rest of our day, if you’re up for it.”

Damien reluctantly started to dress himself. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Want to go see the look on your future mother-in-law’s face when I tell her about my boyfriend?”

He chuckled, pulling Liam back in for a quick kiss. “Absolutely.”

Tags: @hustacks @hopefulmoonobject @brightpinkpeppercorn @choiceslife @perriewinklenerdie @pixieferry @nazariobae @zaffrenotes @ritachacha @h3llostrang3r @blackcoffee85 @wannabemc2 @sleepwalkingelite @debramcg1106 @furiousherringoperatortoad @bobasheebaby @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @jlouise88

#liam x damien #damiam #a royal disgrace #choices fan fic #trr #perfect match #damien nazario #king liam #em getting entirely too real about being bi #i kept getting drabble requests for this hypothetical alternate timeline #so here's what that timeline actually looks like #you damiam shipping maniacs

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clydesanders-rp-blog · 7 years

Text

Full name: Clyde Micheal Sanders

Pronunciation: CLY-DE

Nickname(s) or alias: Clyde

Preferred name: Clyde

Current age: twenty

Astrological sign: Leo

Element:Fire

Title: MR

Label: The misfit

Gender: Male

Preferred pronouns: He/him

Sexual preference: bisexual

Romantic preference: Grayromantic

Resides in: Princeton, NJ

Current occupation: student

Language(s) spoken: english

Native language: english

Current marital status:

( &&. background )

Reason behind name: his mother named him after clyde barrow

Birth order: first born

Ethnicity: CAUCASIAN

Nationality: American

Species: human

Religion: catholic

Political views: none

Financial status: rich

IQ: 127

Hometown: Santa monica, CA

( &&. physical appearance )

Looks like (or face claim, if applicable): cole sprouse

Height: 6′0

Weight: 170

Shoe size: 12

Figure/build: slim

Hair colour, Dyed?: raven

Hair length: short

Eye colour: green

Glasses? Colour? / Contacts? Are they coloured?:

Shape of face: round

Facial hair:

Do they shave/wax? Where?:

Skin tone: white

Tattoos: none

Piercings: none

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: birthmarks

Dominant hand: right

If painted, what color are their nails/toenails?:

Usual style of clothing: casual

Frequently worn jewelry: gold rolex

Describe their voice, what accent?: none

What is their speaking style (fast, monotone, loquacious)?: loquacious

Describe their scent: soap and cigarettes

Describe their posture: normal

( &&. legal information )

Birth Name: (if changed)

Other names they go by:

Any speeding tickets?: yes

Have they ever been arrested?: yes

Do they have a criminal record?: no

Have they committed any violent crimes?: no

Property crimes?: no

Traffic crimes?: yes

Other crimes?: no

( &&. medical information )

Blood type: o positive

Date/time of birth: 8/4/97 , 9am

Place of birth: santa monica, CA

Vaginal birth or cesauren section?: vaginal

Sex: Male

Diet: regular

Smoker? / Drinker? / Drug User?, Which?: all

Addictions: cannabis, xanax and alcohol

Allergies: none

Do they get occasional checkups?: yes

Ever broken a bone?: yes

Hospital visits, what for?: overdoses

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: none

Any medication regularly taken: none

( &&. career information )

Past occupation(s): modeling

Why are they no longer working as it?: disagreements with the boss

Do they enjoy their current occupation?: yes

Why do they do it?: for fun

How did they end up in their current occupation?: personal manger

How long have they been in their current occupation?: 3 years

( &&. personality )

Direct quote from them: ‘ life is too short so do what you want to do’

Positive traits: warmhearted, affectionate, helpful

Negative traits: moody, ill tempered, impulsive

Likes: working out, music, reading, sleeping

Dislikes: crowded places

Strengths: photography, science

Weaknesses: Math, flirting

Insecurities: his nose

Fears/phobias: being stuck in tight spaces

Habits: playing with hair , biting nails, shaking leg

Quirks: always chewing gum

Hobbies: photography

Guilty pleasure: xanax

Desires: to travel the world

Wishes: to go back in time

Regrets: not forgiving his mother for leaving

Secrets: he was involved in a drunken hit and run

Turn ons: neck kisses

Turn offs: spitting

Kinks/fetishes: being tied up

Superstitions: opening an umbrella inside

Lucky number: 7

Pet peeves: People Who Don't Cover Their Cough/sneeze, animal cruelty

Their motto: you only live once

( &&. favourites )

Food: pasta

Drink: mountain dew

Fast food restaurant: olive garden

Flavour: vanilla

Word: dope

Colour: red

Clothing: gucci

Accessory: gold rolex

Candle scent: apple cinnamon

Store: apple

Instrument: guitar

Game: call of duty black opps

Occupation: student

Animal: dog

Holiday: halloween

Weather: cold

Season: fall

Book: hunger games

Artist: eminem

Band/group: linkin park

Song: what’s my age again by blink 182

Movie/film: Constantine

TV show: south park

Sport: lacrosse

Sports team: the giants

Quote: ‘live fast die young’

School subject: english

Possession: ring

Name: clyde

Number: 7

Emoji: purple devil

Mythological creature: Zeus

( &&. skills )

Talents: photography

Special powers/abilities: none

Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles?: yes

Can they ride a bike?:yes

Do they play any sports?: yes

Anything they’re bad at?: singing

Do they have any combat training? Why?: N/A

( &&. firsts )

Childhood memory: hearing mom and dad arguing

Crush: the girl from next door

Email address: [email protected]

Job: photographer

Phone: iphone 7

Computer: mac

Kiss: the girl next door

Love: N/A

Sexual experience: in her bedroom

( &&. childhood )

Best childhood memory?: opening presents on christmas

Worst childhood memory?: getting an ass whooping from dad

What were they like as a child?: energetic

Any crushes growing up?: brother’s best friend

Did they know/like their parents?:yes

Worst influence on them as a kid?: brother

Did they have a lot of friends?: no

Were they heavily punished?: yes

Anything they wish they could cut out?: ass beatings from dad

Were they more feminine or masculine?: masculine

Were they an early or late bloomer for puberty?: late

Do they still know any of their childhood friends?: yes

Did they have any chores? What?: dishes and garbage

Describe their childhood home: mansion

( &&. this or that )

Expensive or inexpensive tastes?: expensive

Hygienic or Unhygienic?: hygienic

Open-minded or close-minded?: open

Introvert or extrovert?: introvert

Optimistic or pessimistic?: pessimistic

Daredevil or cautious?: daredevil

Logical or emotional?: emotional

Generous or stingy?: generous

Polite or rude?: polite

Book smart or street smart?: both

Dominant or submissive?: dominant

Popular or loner?: loner

Leader or follower?: leader

Day or night person?: night

Cat or dog person?: dog

Closet door open or closed while sleeping?: closed

( &&. family relationships )

Father: Michael Bryan Sanders

Describe their relationship: rocky

Mother: Hayley Lockwood

Describe their relationship: estranged

Brothers: Bryan elton sanders

Describe their relationship: love/hate

( &&. other relationships )

Best friend: N/A

Childhood friend: peter vega

Enemy: brice evans

Past romances: N/A

Pets: dogs

Heroes: superman

( &&. social media )

Do they have a Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? Vine? Snapchat? Tinder/Grindr? Tumblr? YouTube?

If so; Name on Facebook: Clyde sanders

Twitter handle: @clydesanders

Instagram user: @clydesanders

Vine user: none

Snapchat user: @snap-clyde

Name on Tinder/Grindr: none

Tumblr URL:

YouTube channel:Clydesandersvlogs

( &&. musical tastes )

Theme song: Heathens top

Can relate to: crawling linkin park

Makes them happy: always blink 182

Makes them sad: i miss you blink 182

Makes them dance: wake me up before you go

Loves the most: heavy linkin park

Describes them: numb linkin park

Never gets tired of: leave out all the rest linkin park

Would like to be played at their wedding: i was made for loving you ED sheeran

Would like to play at their funeral: 27 MGK

( &&. miscellaneous )

Do they have a fake I.D.?: yes

Are they a virgin?: no

Describe their signature: cursive and neat

How long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse?: until the end

Do they travel?: yes

One place they would like to live: bora bora

One place they would like to visit: Egypt

Celebrity crush: megan fox

What can you find in their pockets/wallet/purse: general

Place(s) your character can always be found: beach

When does your character like to wake up?: late

What’s your character’s morning routine?: normal

What does your character eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner?: poptarts, anything that’s good

How does your character spend their free days?: clubbing

What’s your character’s bedtime routine?: normal

What does your character wear to bed?: boxers

If your character can’t fall asleep, what are they thinking about?: life

What has been their greatest achievement?: making 8 mill on youtube

What is their idea of perfect happiness?: finishing school and getting married

What or who is the greatest love of their life?: girlfriend

On what occasions do they lie?: none

Most marked characteristic: eyes and hair

What is one thing they’d most like to change about themselves?: nothing

How would they like to die?: sleeping

Do they snore?: no

Do they chew their pens/pencils?: yes

Can they whistle?: yes

Do they believe in the supernatural?: no

Have they ever cheated on anyone?: no

Have they ever been cheated on?: yes

Has anyone ever broken their heart?: yes

Have they ever broken anyone’s heart?:no

Are they squeamish?: depends

Have they ever killed anyone? Why? How?: no

Have they ever seen anyone die? What happened?: yes, a friend got shot during a shoot out

Are they a lightweight?: no

#gogreek:task

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