#personally i love the idea that sofia is real and innocent and learning to be alive

[pensive-and-cringey]

You know what would be especially tragic? If it's not just Sofia is a plant, and Max is innocent and being used via his grief, but that Sofia also doesn't know. Sofia doesn't know she's a plant. Sofia is new, and curious, and is analyzing the world and helping these people. She doesn't know she's bugged, and the data is being collected. She doesn't know there's a back door where she's being syphened. She doesn't know that someone is going to come take her memory chip and extract everything. She doesn't know she's Spyware.

What if the federation created another innocent being to be made into a tool

[chibivesicle]

On the 7th division. After the latest development, where do you think Tsukishima's final loyalties will lie? Also is Koito's family already screwed either way? Considering they have willingly performed treason. And no doubt by now central knows. And Ogata, are you a central agent or not??? Where did your grandparents go? A cat's motives are mysterious indeed.

Hello there,

Thanks for the ask - well asks really.  I’ll try to give you my two cents on each question. Q1.) After the latest development, where do you think Tsukishima's final loyalties will lie? A1.) I think Tsukishima’s loyalties will end up with Koito.  The two men have grow closer since Karafuto.  He revealed his involvement in Koito’s kidnapping, part of Ogata’s background and for a while seemed stuck in his ‘fate’.  I think he started to defy that fate when he stayed behind with Koito after Sugimoto stabbed him versus following Tsurumi.  Tsurumi saw him hang back, technically against orders.  His last major attachment to Tsurumi was when he went full on terminator/tsukinator trying to stop Tanigaki and Inkarmat.  Koito is the one who told him to stand down and we know they’ve talked a great deal about what would happen when they’d meet Tsurumi again.

Both Koito and Tsukishima were involved with Kiro’s death, and Sofia knows who they are.  They are going to be linked due to the tiger curse, so I see them working together even if they get cursed.  Maybe the curse was the fact that they’d realize they can’t side with Tsurumi making their lives more difficult.  Who knows - but I can’t help but hope they have a decent resolution to things but also that they balance out their actions.

Q2.) Also is Koito's family already screwed either way? Considering they have willingly performed treason.

A2.) We lack clear information about Koito’s family and their exact role in things.  Tsurumi first used Koito’s kidnapping to get in his father’s good graces.  Yet, we know that he was close with Hanazawa.  Koito Sr. told Sugimoto that he read the letter that Hanazawa wrote before his ‘suicide’.  I see this going two ways i.) Koito Sr. thinks the letter is real and Hanazawa did kill himself ii.) Koito Sr. knows the letter was forged, but because the official story is that he committed suicide, he has to publicly state it as such. Hanazawa was clearly a part of the more conservative/cautious members of the military/government opposed to expansion.  Where Koito Sr. stands on this issue, we really lack information.  If he had the same views at Hanazawa, he may be acting on behalf of Central, just like Kikuta.  Right now, Koito Sr. doesn’t really seem to gain anything by assisting Tsurumi, unless he was explicitly told to do so by Central.  I could also see Tsurmumi blackmailing him if necessary but, we haven’t had any current evidence that suggests that. If Koito Sr. doesn’t give a damn about Central, he might be acting out of a similar sense of Tsurumi, to expand Japanese territory since he lost his older son in the first Sino-Japanese war.  Central’s resources are limited - they did not receive reparations from Russia and the Russo-Japanese War didn’t really do anything in the short term other than allow Japan to take the initiative to be the assertive East Asian power.  I really wish we knew more about Koito Sr.’s relationship with Tsurumi, I could see him also telling him that he’d hand over the gold to Central or part of it .  . . he is the master of sweet lies. There is also the idea that members of the 27th, such as Koito, could just state they were following orders, even though we know Tsurumi did have his speech at the beginning where he tells his men what their ‘real’ plans are.  I think this is a more complicated topic in a societal context where following orders is the norm and being a whistle blower would really be difficult. This is really complicated since all of the groups are acting in defiance of the Japanese government and its rule of law in the relative isolation of Hokkaido.

Q3&4.) And Ogata, are you a central agent or not??? Where did your grandparents go?

A3.) I don’t think Ogata is an agent for Central.  To be someone that deep into things would imply a sort of deeply nationalistic/patriotic loyalty to the state.  Tsukishima calls him one back in Yuubari, but it makes me wonder why he doesn’t suspect Kikuta later.  I never got the feeling that Ogata confirmed Tsukishima’s statement, he calls Ogata an agent for Central - and instead of denying it, verbally he just points out that Tsurumi is a rebel group.  That is such an odd response.  Is Ogata stating he simply observes that Tsurumi is a rebel group so therefore, his own act of rebellion is in line with the letter of the law, or that he has precedent to stand on.   Kikuta works hard to get closer to Tsurumi and into the hunt for the gold which is more practical for Central.  Ogata meanwhile teamed up with Kiro, went to Russia and has been bouncing between all the different factions.  I wonder if there was a conversation with Central where they were like: Central person - Hey Ogata we want you to be a spy in the 27th. Ogata - [shrugs] Central person - Great!  You are on board. Ogata - [shrugs]

Central updates Ogata and Kikuta later, hey you guys are on the same side.  Ogata [shrugs], Kikuta - okay cool.  Let Ogata be.

A4.) Ogata’s missing grandparents.  The fact that they disappeared mid-meal makes me suspect that someone made them disappear.  And not Ogata.  We know that Tsurumi has no issue with kidnapping.  I’ve wondered if Tsurumi kidnapped them and has them hostage.  Or worse, Tsurumi killed them and then made it look they disappeared.  We know that Tsurumi has worked hard to mold his loyal men to love him.  If Tsurumi uncovered Ogata in the quest to find dirt on Hanazawa, he finds Ogata and his grandparents.  He sees Ogata’s mother is dead, and the grandparents are the only people who are keeping him in Ibaraki.  If they suddenly disappeared, Ogata has nothing to return to.  Just like Tsukishima, who lost his fiance and therefore had no family to return to. Tsurumi needs his inner circle to be unwavering in their love of him.  If Ogata figured out that Tsurumi made his grandparents disappear, this could be his motivation to hamper his quest for the gold and is willing to bounce between factions to thwart Tsurumi at any cost. Many people think that Ogata poisoned his grandparents, but that doesn’t make sense, he doesn’t believe in unnecessary death and violence.  What is clear is that Tsurumi did something to Ogata that hurt him so deeply that he’s dedicated to blocking his end goal.

I’ve wondered if he chose to kill Hanazawa because he knew Tsurumi was going to kill him, but he wanted to talk to him alone.  He didn’t get the answer he needed from his father.  I think that Tsurumi saw Ogata killing Hanazawa was his acceptance of Tsurumi as his ‘father figure’ as he’s liberated himself from both of his parents.  But that didn’t happen since Ogata wanted to have a philosophical discussion with his father about his existence and if he is an incomplete human due to his background. Tsurumi pretty much egged him into shooting Yuusaku and it is clear that he was seen as a future problem once the war was over.  Did Ogata want him to have a clean death?  Did he want his father’s attention (which isn’t Tsurumi’s) and counter to his use by Tsurumi?  It is clear that Ogata feels guilty about Yuusaku’s death, but it isn’t because he was his half brother.  It was because he was a sort of innocent/idol who was trying to uphold these unrealistic and impossible ideals. I love Ogata’s character since he’s this individual who goes through things questioning everything about his life and how he fits into it.  Is he a moral person?  Is he good?  Does growing up a bastard child and bullied make him less of a human?  What does it mean to feel pain and guilt?  What is innocence?  Why to parents wield so much power over their children and how they can mold them into icons for their causes?  He’s searching for something in addition to the hunt for the gold.  He’s slowly learning things about himself in his crazy circumstance.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  I don’t want to ramble on.

[nickblaine]

season 3 script summaries (nick)

first of all - special thanks to reddit user cablab123 and @dystopiandramaqueen​​ for making phonecalls to the writer’s guild that resulted in them getting the season 3 scripts from the studios this soon 💖 we have these because of you!

just to clarify, these notes are about nick scenes only. am i biased? yes. will i go back and read the rest? i don’t know. i didn’t like this season, so i don’t have much energy for it. but i did read the other cut scenes which i will summarize in another post later. this one is about nick.

reminder that anything i put in quotes is direct phrasing from the scripts. however there are copyright laws in place, which is why i can't provide copies or photos. edited to add: because i’ve seen some doubts about my authenticity, click here for proof.

i do accept questions, but i will only respond if i have an answer. i may come back and respond eventually if i find the answer on a future library trip.

possible spoiler warning: there are 2 cut scenes in here which may or may not be considered spoilery if they use them in season 4. the cut scene from 3x12 in particular could be a big indicator of what’s to come next season.

finally - please do not share this post without my permission, and thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.

3x01

nick has fred trapped in the room. after serena says, “we should give her more time to get away,” and leaves, fred turns to nick and accuses him of having so little respect for their family that he would involve them in his crimes. nick straight up tells fred, “I did it for her. For June.” it says fred knew this but hearing it shakes him up. this is the catalyst for their open disdain for each other from now on.  

there was more to nick & june’s argument that we didn’t see, which showed june regretting staying in gilead. after she says “don’t you think i know that?” she breaks down and admits: “I fucked up. I fucked it all up. I should’ve gone. I’m a fucking idiot. But I couldn’t leave her here, I couldn’t leave her behind.” nick feels deep sympathy for her after this confession, and they let go of their anger and share an embrace. i’m real mad this got cut, it showed a lot of june’s vulnerable side.  

after the house fire, nick is leaving and: “June searches for something to say. Goodbye? I’m sorry?” but she can’t because they’re in public. originally he said “Take care” and she settled on “Bless you.” (personally, i think i like the onscreen version better.)

3x03

there was lots of nick “finding this exchange excruciating” during the commander meeting at the lawrence house. he just wanted to help june the whole time joseph is tormenting her. they are “desperate to communicate” throughout this scene. also, joseph was carefully observing nick, june and fred the whole time. they never explain why, but june seems to think he’s just amused by it all.  

when nick came back to visit that night, he and beth share a sweet moment at the back door. nick asks her if she’s okay. beth tells him she’s scared shitless. he comforts her with a hug, during which she jokes, “You look ridiculous in that get-up,” and nick says, “I know.” (i love beth and nick’s friendship... i wish they didn’t throw away the opportunity to show it this season.)  

when nick goes upstairs, his and june’s conversation was written to be a lot less cold than it is in the final cut. june immediately goes to nick for comfort when he comes to her room. “She needs him desperately. She needs his help.” but the news of his deployment shakes her. they are both described as infuriated by their situation, and “drowning in their own futility.” when june opens the door and invites nick back in, they share a kiss and “wrap themselves around each other. For the last time.” 😭 then june closes* and locks the door (to juxtapose her old bedroom with the door that never locked.)   *still disappointed by that closed door? see here!  

3x05

in luke’s tape, june is scripted to say, “You met him. He helped me to survive. I was in love with him." the description of luke’s emotions here say he feels stunned as well as “relief that Nichole isn’t the product of rape... and yet, June found love. She moved on.”  

3x06

when nick and june reunite in DC... nick was spicy during that prayer scene 🔥 june could feel him trying not to look at her. and this line killed me: “His fingers trail, just barely, over June’s hip. Across her bare fingers. On June, feeling his hand.”  

nick and june’s kiss in the snow did not have much description. just lots of natural chemistry on max and lizzie’s part. also, they were supposed to share one more kiss after nick agreed to meet with the swiss. speaking of...  

NICK. MET. WITH. THE. SWISS. people can stop claiming he ditched his daughter now. the script makes it clear. nick walks into the room with mattias and meets lena and sofia before the scene cuts. we don’t get to see what they talk about, but he tried to do the right thing for holly per june’s wishes, against his better judgement.  

no further explanation for why the swiss don’t want to work with nick. when lena tells june she can’t work with nick, all it says is that june’s “association with Nick has left her somehow tainted.”  

june feels “betrayed” by learning that nick was a soldier in the crusade, and continues to throughout the season. though the script never explains why she feels so betrayed by something that she has done herself (killing innocent people under orders) or why she is so quick to believe serena joy when she is familiar with her manipulation. her thoughts in that scene are described as she is “absorbing the fact that Nick was a terrorist.” take that as you will. however, the following scenes clarify exactly what he did...

THE TRAIN SCENE: there’s a very important line describing how nick really feels about being a commander: “The troops salute him. Nick returns the salute, hating all the choices that led him here.”  

immediately following that line is a cut NICK FLASHBACK! here’s the summary: nick was in DC during the coup. he was on guard duty. yep, big bad terrorist war criminal nick blaine was a glorified security guard. in this scene, nick and a young soldier named trevor are guarding an empty basement stairwell in the capitol building during the coup. trevor is complaining that they are “mall cops” while “everyone gets to actually do something,” meanwhile nick is described as “looking sick.” then there is an explosion in the stairwell, followed by a brief shootout where trevor is killed. nick shoots back “out of instinct” and it’s revealed he’s killed a capitol security guard and a bureaucrat.

immediately after the flashback is the cut shot of nick (above) looking sadly out the window, remembering those choices that led him here.  

it’s worth noting that the flashback scene contrasts starkly with serena’s words just prior, which were scripted as: “He served Gilead. He believed in something greater than himself. He was a soldier in the crusade. We wouldn’t be here without him.” so it seems pretty clear they are setting this up to be misjudgment on june’s part.  

the shot of nick looking sadly out the window was supposed to be followed by a parallel shot of june looking sadly out the window of the winslow house, reflecting on her meeting with nick the night before. 😢  

3x10

just wanted to note here that despite june feeling “betrayed” by nick since 3x06, when fred suggests transferring her to DC she actually considers it could be a good idea because she would be “closer to Nichole. And maybe even Nick.” so he is not absent from her thoughts.  

3x12

warning: the following scene may be spoilery for season 4??

thank god, we were right about a cut scene in this episode. there was exactly one (1) nick in chicago scene, and it took place immediately after luke punches fred. and just like max said, it confirms nick has been one step ahead all along.

in this scene, nick is observing the war in chicago and talking with his “lead commander” (pictured in the promo still above.) the lead commander tells him that they are being transferred to lake huron to put pressure on toronto in lieu of waterford’s capture and winslow going missing.

nick - hiding his shock at this news - carefully presses for more info. the lead commander doesn’t have anymore to say about waterford, but he laments the fact that this means he’s not going to get his weekend leave and that his daughter will be disappointed. his daughter’s name? agnes. that’s right, the big reveal of this scene is that nick is now working directly under commander mackenzie, and it is no coincidence. the scene ends on nick, “watching [mackenzie] walk away, wheels already turning.”

guys... this means NICK IS GOING AFTER HANNAH!

this must be what max was referring to when he said that everyone is in an interesting position for season 4 in this interview. so much for him being irrelevant to june’s story just because he’s a dude, i guess. 🤷‍♀️

there was also a whole bombing action sequence in this scene including fighter jets, it sounded very extra and VFX-intensive. nick and commander mackenzie are watching it all go down from a distance while they talk.

i can’t say for sure why these scenes were cut, but the producers served up 3 different sets of excuses, some of which don’t line up with what was written (e.g. “strictly june’s perspective” ...sure 🙄) so it’s safe to say that whatever led to them cutting these scenes out, we will probably never know for sure. but i do know they were filmed and the decision was made post-production, we have evidence of that.  

additional observations:

there is still no real explanation for why or how nick got promoted to commander, and i don’t think they ever will. it appears to me that it was just another contrived plot point so they have a reason to send a low-status driver into war.  

while i am glad they softened the extent of nick’s involvement in the coup, it also makes it harder to understand why he said he was “due” a promotion to commander when his contributions to gilead are so relatively insignificant. again, we may never know.  

there were several cut voiceovers of june praying to god throughout the season, and despite calling holly mainly by “nichole” in dialogue, she only referred to her as holly in her prayers. so her real name is still holly. i will die on this hill.  

commander mackenzie mentions to nick that the move has been hard on hannah but the script does not clarify where they have moved to. hannah and mrs. mackenzie are presumably far from the great lakes region because nick’s response is, “May God bring you home to her soon.”  

can we talk about how nick has an active plan for hannah? and how he never gave up on his promise from 2x03? and that while june has lost all hope of seeing her daughter again, she has no idea how close nick is? and that this is sounding a lot like one of my fics? hire me already bruce. these are things i think about A Lot  

lake huron means nick is going back home to MICHIGAN so rebel commander blaine is back on the menu boys  

nick in the script is - as always - a bit more rough and forward than what we see onscreen. max has a talent for softening nick’s interactions with june and showing respect with his body language, while maintaining the intensity between them. i also cannot praise enough how much he makes out of little to no script direction and minimal dialogue.  

that sweet, sweet vindication of confirming yet again that nick is worth a lot more than viewers (and june) give him credit for. i only hope his value in this story isn’t realized too late.  

(gif credit: @splitscreen​, @outlassed​ & me)

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Cartoon Ever!: Big City Greens (1.1 and 1.2): “Space Chicken” and “Steak Night”

This is easily one of the most underrated cartoons ever because it focuses on comedy. Jesus Christ. That, and Cricket has an arc, and I’m gonna prove it here.

Big City Greens is a comedy oriented show that is sort of a sleeper hit for the network, at least, in ratings. Fan reception has been mostly positive, but not the best, and the reason seems to be a lack of story, because the 2010′s have been dominated by this, and apparently only Loud House and maybe We Bare Bears can truly succeed with such a formula (maybe Clarence? I don’t think it succeeded as well).

The show is about the green family moving to the big city, each Green slowly improving each episode while retaining their core characteristics so that jokes can still be told at rapid fire succession. And I’m gonna show you how (specifically with MC Cricket, who gets too much hate imo. Yes, this is a slightly personal review because I really like this show and I hope to work on it one day).

SUMMERIES:  Cricket enlists the help of Tilly and new friend Remy when he comes up with a plan to impress his new neighbors by launching a chicken into space.

The Green's traditional Steak Night is threatened when Cricket accidentally leaves the steaks behind on the subway.

COMEDY: 3 Out of 5 (”Space Chicken” and “Steak Night”)

While not the first chronological episode, this is very much a pilot of sorts, so you can see that just like the voices are still getting fitted for the characters, so are the jokes. The fact that they are still good jokes is pretty impressive to say the least!

As the trend of character focused jokes is at its height here, most of the jokes derive from characters being themselves and how they interact with each other and their enviorment. This leads to Cricket causing shenanigans (we’ll get to that), Bill stressing over everything, Tilly being herself (always a good thing) and Alice mostly complaining and being paranoid.

And like all comedy, execution is key; These are good character types, one just has to make them click.

And again, while the comedy isn’t yet at full strength, it’s still really funny! There are lots of great incorrect quote fodder material, lots of great voice acting, lots of exaggeration, and it makes it feel like a cartoony jumble of fun! And this is BEFORE it gets really sharp and crazy!

But, tbh, comedy isn’t the best thing in these episodes. Arguably the show’s greatest strength is that even when the episodes aren’t the show’s best, the characters shine.

CHARACTERS: 4 Out of 5 (”Space Chicken”) and 5 Out of 5 (”Steak Night”)

Again, as I said, these are the first episodes, they’re not gonna be perfect, but the characters are already almost fully realized and likable, that is an ACHIEVEMENT.

To prove this, I’m gonna go through each one and show you how the show knows with what quantity and in what role each one should inhabit in every episode!

Let’s start with the least important character for now: Alice, the grandma. Alice is right now serving only as a comedy tool, and most of the time she is just a comedy tool, as it’s rare for an episode to show other, more fragile and lonely sides to her (but since this show rules, we do get those). The show knows that right now Alice can’t impose since she isn’t important to the main story, so unlike a lot of shows who basically mandate a character must have a big role in every episode regardless of importance to the actual plot, Alice features just as much as she should, quickly showing us who she is (a crabby but deep down loving old woman) and supplying some laughs with her core personality, endearing us to her while she serves no real role.

Then there’s Bill, here really to serve as Cricket’s Superego. If Cricket is the flawed MC with leanings towards good and bad, and Tilly is his soul, Bill is his nagging concious, always worrying, stressing and disappointed. Bill is an understandably nervous man, post divorce, two wild kids, a mother who is very tough on him, things just don’t go well for him. Like Cricket he also wants to be loved, but he has a different way of doing things. In fact, one could argue that Bill is what Cricket could become if he lost his core, and Nancy, the mom (who we WILL GET TO) is what Cricket could become if he never learned a lesson (not that Nancy is a bad person, but she too is a mess). Bill is a great character since his role is the least fun, but he still gets to tell jokes and be an entertaining presence (but trust me we get to see that later in a way better way).

Tilly is the cutest character in the show and an absolute treat. But unlike other “cute” characters, Tilly has a personality, an edge, and flaws. She is a fully realized character, and she serves a special role. Tilly is Cricket’s big sister, but only in name, as she operates more as a younger sister. This is due to her childlike innocence, which culminates in amazing lines and ideas like saying “I have seen danger... And I love it” and wanting to be the queen of rats.

But Tilly’s real role is as Cricket’s soul. Nearly every character in the show reflects or contrasts with Cricket in one way or another (as said before, Bill is Cricket without his fun core, Nancy is Cricket if he never changed, and to add to that, Alice is Cricket if he was only selfish, and Remy is Cricket’s fanboy, almost enabling him and proving his good and bad sides by still showing that Cricket cares). But it is Tilly that serves as Crickey’s soul. She both appreciates his wilder, more troublesome nature, and his risk taking caring side, but she knows that balance must be maintained. She is not perfect: She screws up a lot, and can get selfish and lost. But when it comes to Cricket, she knows what he needs. The world keeps wanting to change him or to love him, but Cricket’s problem is that he needs balance most of all.

And so we get to Cricket. The fandom is quite split on him at times, seeing him either as a lovable scamp or a troublesome jerk. The fact of the matter is: That’s the POINT. He’s not perfect, or horrible, he’s both. Cricket is a boy learning how to balance childhood and adulthood, how to be fun and serious, caring and selfish in a good way, risky and cautious. He tries to launch a chicken into space because he wants attention and love, but also because his dad wants to make a good first impression and Cricket truly cares. He wants to hold the steaks to get praise for being responsible and to perserve family tradition, but he tries his best to save the steaks because again, he cares. He both thinks of himself and of others. He can be malicious and self serving at one point and genrous and loving at the other.

We as viewers love to criticize characters for being callous the moment they make a mistake. But when said character is like, 10, we need to be more forgiving. And slowly slowly, episode after episode, one can see that Cricket is learning (Season 2 will be a prime example for that, can’t wait to show you).

So yeah, Big City Greens is a show about growing up, disguised as a funny hillbilly show. Pretty impressive ;)

STORY AND HEART: 3 Out of 5 (”Space Chicken”) and 4 Out of 5 (”Steak Night”)

DAMN IT I always sum up in characters! God, what do I say now, outside of these being slow but still fun pilots with good story ideas on how to introduce the characters that manage to show contrast, fun dynamics and a loving but edgy family despite everything without sacrificing humor or fun, and that these are only the first ones and we get way better episodes after this and Big City Greens will have a way higher ranking soon?

..Oh, that might do it.

Thank you @chrishoughton​ i hope this review satisfies you! :D

FINAL SCORES: 10 Out of 15 (”Space Chicken”) and 12 Out of 5 (”Steak Night”)

Bingo bango.

Next time we have Sofia The First? OOHHH! CRAIG GERBER IS A GOD THIS SHOULD BE FUN!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/194d3gsPrhlOsFPYsXU-lJirY4sWncrBl/edit#

[thecorteztwins]

🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊!!!!! Scream about them!!

WOW THAT’S A LOT I’ll talk about two, Ashti and AverySo I have a ton of old OCs but I’d rather talk about the new ones I started making this year after like 4-5 years of not making them anymore.

ASHTI YILMAZHer family are Yazidi Kurds living in Germany, grandparents originally are from TurkeyTender, wistful, melancholy, manipulative, explosive. Far more emotional than logical, and quick to let her bleeding heart and overpowering passion take her reins, whether in sympathy or anger. Easy to hurt, tease, and rile. Prone to sulking, pouting, and brooding, but can shout too when pushed far enough. Has strong feelings, but these make it hard for her to take a strong stance on complicated matters, since her emotions get pulled both ways. Always feels a little out of place. Beats herself up over little things. Fancies herself the mom friend but actually needs a mom friend. Moody, immature, unconditionally supportive. Will say awful things she doesn’t mean in anger and prone to emotional blackmail when upset. Fatalistic, often just accepts that powers that be must have a plan, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. Warm but wary; always friendly to new people externally, but inside she's on the lookout for any sign they dislike her or are making fun of her, which sometimes leads her to read too much into innocent remarks or innocuous expressions. Feels more experienced than people from more privileged lives and groups, but also like they’re smarter and more accomplished. Ashti definitely has very normative ideas about gender. Nothing exceptional, just common generalizations like women are more emotional, little boys like the physical play, men can be total brutes whereas women attack with cattiness, etc. She’s also prone to romantization of bad relationships, like that jealousy means passion, control means protection, and sticking together through all your fights proves how strong your love is instead of calling it quits. This not only means she is likely to get into and stay in toxic relationships herself, but give her friends dangerous advice to do the same when they come to her with romantic troubles Unsurprisingly, she has a tendency toward tortured bad boys and getting her heart trod on. She has a complicated relationship with her culture. On the one hand, she's proud of it and defiant against any forces that try to take away or erase it. She wants to learn more about it. On the other hand, she hates that feels she HAS to learn about it, that as a tiny minority it's on her shoulders to keep carrying this legacy or risk letting it die. And she hates that all she seems to learn is about how much other people hate her, about massacres and genocides and camps and gas, no about joy and triumphs and great works of art like everyone else seems to get to have in their background. That stuff is there too, but sometimes it seems like it's just entirely overshadowed by the ongoing history of persecution, and she doesn't WANT that, she doesn't want to be defined by the SUFFERING of her people rather than their accomplishments. And she wonders, if she has to learn so much of her own culture from books, since so much of it was torn from her family long before her parents were even born and thus they couldn't teach it to her, is it really even hers? Like, really? If she has to learn it in the same way that a non-Kurd would, is she really culturally Kurdish, or just genetically? Where's the line? And can she really count HERSELF as persecuted? Her PEOPLE have suffered terribly, but if she's never been the victim of anything truly bad or overt, does she have the right to speak on that suffering and claim it by extension? One of her biggest flaws is she doesn't know her flaws. She thinks her flaws are being insecure, emotional, and loving too much. And these aren't untrue. But she's missing a whole lot of the less flattering, less endearing aspects of her personality.Dislikes when people think they (or someone else) is a good person just because they are loyal and kind to their friends, family, teammates, etc. Even genocidal dictators usually treat their own well; what really shows who you are is how you treat those who are different from you, those who disagree with you, those that you don’t know, those that you will lose nothing by mistreating?Also dislikes: Shitty apologies, they send her into an instant screaming rage * Line cutters * When people look down at fast food workers, custodians, etc., and clearly have no courtesy or respect for them (ex: carelessly leaving huge messes) * Beautiful sand sculptures because they get destroyed so fast, it actually upsets her that something that took so much talent and care is going to be so transient * Gorillas, they're scary and she's no Fay Wray * Big trucks, they make her nervousLikes: wild honeysuckle, strong tea, sweet coffee, sleepy gray cats, old patchwork quilts with a story, dark storms at sea, bright sunshine after heavy rain, rose and lavender flavored things, mountains (but not climbing them), he sight of old abandoned cottage houses overgrown with grass and vines. She’s always on the side of the common masses against those in power, but it’d be a lie to say she didn’t watch Sofia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette “ on wistful repeat or secretly fantasize about somehow being the lost Princess Anastasia Romanov. She also loves "Beauty & the Beast" stories like "Labyrinth" and "Phantom of the Opera" about powerful and kinda evil men obsessed with beautiful naive young ingenues. Loves photos of skeletons that are embracing in their final moments, not as in props but real remains of people were found holding each other as they died, such as The Lovers of Valdaro Would love to be a model or a beauty blogger, glamorous jobs with no imagined effort where people would love her and see her as pretty. As it is she has a job as a receptionist at a ritzy spa called Tranquility.She can pop her wrists out of place, and paints/dyes silk scarves as a hobby.There’s a history of mental illness in her mother’s family, it’s never been officially diagnosed, they just say they’re “emotional” and “passionate” but actually it’s probably something more along the lines of bipolar or borderline, and Ashti isn’t affected but her mother was to a degree and her sister to an even greater one and it caused a huge rift in the family that the dynamic has never really recovered from. AVERY RUE UNDERWOODWhite American trans girl, goth/grunge, pretty much constantly dresses in the same uniform of a black slip dress with a black hoodie or flannel, or some variation on this. She has tattoos of the alchemical symbols for sulfur, salt, arsenic, and mercury, chosen for their metaphorical meanings rather than scientific. Salt, mercury, and sulfur are in her back, down the length of her spine. Arsenic is above her groin. Neutral and detached, but not disinterested or apathetic, Avery approaches most everything from a position of laidback philosophical ease. When things are too tough that it gets through even her robotic shell, she disengages externally and seems ever more the automaton, while actually dwelling on the matter for days or more internally. She can recite "Cassilda's Song" by heart, and talk for hours about the racism and insanity of Lovecraft, and how both these things are misunderstood and misconstrued equally by his devotees and detractors alike. Her icon is Mommy Fortuna from The Last Unicorn, who chose her death and kept it close to her, caged and hers til the end when it tore her to pieces--welcomed by her with open arms, still hers, hers forever.Collects antique silver plated hair brushes. She thinks a lot about how everyone has a life and internal thoughts and we just don’t know we can never really know another person. She likes to go to lonely personal blogs and Twitter accounts and the like and just follow. She rarely “likes” and even more rarely comments, she just wants to watch this little window into a random life that doesn’t have an audience to be performing for like the big accounts. Maybe it’s creepy and voyeuristic but she feels such a strange tenderness for these screen names that she never speaks too. They’re human souls, every one of them. And maybe there’s no God to hear them, but she does. Studies existentialist, nihilist, and absurdist philosophy. She learns less towards the middle, more towards the other two. Morbid and macabre she might be, but she's an idealist at her core. Some of her other interests include obscure mental disorders (Cotatd’s delusion, Capgras syndrome) , photos of the decomposition process, and the historical use of plants as both cures and poisons. She feels kinship with carrion-eaters like buzzards and hyenas, society sees them as disgusting and evil but they play an integral part in the ecosystem She believes that existence precedes essence. So she doesn't believe she was born with a female soul or anything like that. She just doesn't believe she was born with a male one either. She ended up with a female one, and she's going to facilitate that further, is what she believes. But she also doesn't think of her transition as becoming her real self, so much as taking away everything that wasn’t “her” so that only her real self is there. Like how Michaelangelo said he didn’t make David from the marble, David was already there, he just took away everything that wasn’t David. These two views contradict each other, but she works with it. She's got room for contradictions.She’s bisexual, but when she’s with women, she feels like a pervert or predator next to a “real” girl. When she’s with men, she feels like they’re the perverts, and she prefers that. She prefers feeling degraded to feeling predatory. Basically sex is going to suck for her one way or another due to her dysphoria and she’d rather it suck in the way that doesn’t make her feel like the bad guy.Her family is best described as "neutral" in terms of acceptance. They're not at all hateful, and barely questioned her decision, but they're not involved closely enough with her to be really called "supportive" at all. Everyone in her clan, including herself, are too wrapped up in their own lives to really care one way or the other about each other's, and she's good with that. She prefers it. She'd rather not be interviewed, even from people trying to be helpful; this is deeply personal to her and she finds it invasive. She is pretty good at “being the bigger person “ and not escalating things in a conflict, if only because she just doesn’t give enough of a shit to. She tolerates getting yelled at, even undeservedly, really well. She’d be brilliant in retail, she can cope with Karens all day long and not snap or get worn down. Apathy is a hell of a shield.She doesn’t hold on to people, this is good and bad. On the one hand, it means she escapes jealousy and co-dependency and needing anybody. On the other hand, some people feel it makes her disloyal or uncaring. But she's an island, and she accepts the transience of life.She doesn’t seek outside validation or feel the need to be seen as right even when she knows she is. This has allowed her to avoid a lot of arguments and stress.She might not fear violence from a philosophical viewpoint, but she sure does in her natural animal instincts. This makes her edgy around certain demographics. Straight men, religious people, right-wingers, those sorts of groups. You could argue that she's unfairly stereotyping them, much as others have unfairly stereotyped her and people like her. Sure, fair enough, but she'd still rather avoid getting her head bashed in as much as she can. It's not that everyone in these groups is a violent bigot, it's just if there's going to be a violent bigot, they're statistically more likely to be in these groups. Like when was the last time you heard of a transgender woman being murdered by a liberal lesbian atheist, right? So yeah, she's stereotyping. But she'd rather be alive and a "reverse bigot" than fair-minded and dead. She's not THAT much of nihilist.Avery’s self esteem is best defined as contrarian, taking pride in herself more based on what she’s not rather than what she is, and playing Devil’s Advocate to her own ego. She’s the first to admit that not being something bad is not the same as being something good, and in fact tends to disdain those who do the same as she does and praise themselves simply for not being fascists or bigots or abusers, but it seems like the best she can successfully argue to herself.She's completely non-judgemental of things a lot of people would find weird or creepy. Like, you write human/dinosaur a/b/o erotica? Cool, she'll edit it if you want. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, go for it LIKES:* Urban legends, occultism, cryptids, preserved oddities, the unknown* Deep seas, the night sky, vast storms, huge caves, eternal forests* The crowded isolation of the city at night* Abandoned buildings* The sigh and feel of old velvet and raw silk* Deep sea creatures and weird starfish and giant squids * Hozier, The Sisters of Mercy, Cocteau Twins, Black Tape For A Blue Girl, lo-fi, dreampop, shoegaze, every Lumineers song that has a girl's name as the title, and obscure local alternative bands that the art college radio stations only play late at night* Djarum Black clove cigarettes* Symbolist paintings (especially "Salome" and "Sisyphus" and "The Sin" by Franz Stuck)* Angela Carter, Caitlin R. Kiernan, T.K. Kingfisher, and Nabokov's lesser-known novels like Pnin and Pale FireDISLIKES* Pettiness* The smell of smoking meat, it makes her nauseous, and she's never been able to stomach a steak* Trimmed lawns and pruned gardens* The hypocritical pretentiousness so commonly found in any “alternative “ scene* So-called "horror movies" that are really just gross-out torture porn* Creepypastas that over-explain or don't know when to end* People who pride themselves on "sticking to their guns no matter what" as that seems to her to just be another way of saying they never listen to other opinions or new information because they're so sure in their own rightness* People who forget that everyone else has as much depth and life as themselves, you’re not the protagonist and these aren’t NPCs in a game* Avery is an Aquarius and even though she doesn’t believe in astrology, she still likes reading about it, and it bugs her that her sign is classed as “positive “ and “masculine"* Misuse of the term "social construct"WEAKNESSES* Gives up easily; her transition is really the only difficult thing she's ever stuck with* Navel gazing, over-thinking, gets lost in her own head* Can't make a hard decision quickly* Insomniac* Loses track of time easily* Messy slob, her apartment is DISGUSTING, don't ever be roomies with this girl* She doesn't own a car, but she can drive. She just can't park. She's terrible at parking. She goes in crooked, she goes over the line, she has to pull out and go in again a million times to get it right. STRENGTHS* Comfort with solitude, doesn't get lonely* Equally at ease with both existentialism and nihilism* A veritable whiz with subway routes and schedules* Doesn't sweat the small stuff* Hopeful at her core

[aion-rsa]

Superman & Lois: How “Fail Safe” Sets Up a Difficult Choice for Lois

https://ift.tt/3wYtFgl

This article contains Superman & Lois spoilers

Superman & Lois Episode 13

Superman & Lois has done so many things right in its first season, deftly paying homage to the classic origins of the Man of Steel even as it explores an entirely new corner of the Superman mythos, introducing intriguing comics heroes like John Henry Irons, and reinventing the story of the final days of Krypton in ways that give Clark Kent a new connection to the home he left behind. 

Thankfully, Lois Lane has been given just as much emotional and narrative weight in this series’ story as her superpowered husband – juggling stories that encompass her roles as a mother, a wife, and a daughter. But despite the fact that she’s essentially the most famous journalist in the world, we haven’t actually gotten to see Lois do a ton of reporting, and her job at the local Smallville Gazette has thus far served as little more than the means that allows her to investigate Morgan Edge.

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And though the latest episode, “Fail Safe,” doesn’t show really show us our favorite star reporter in action, so to speak, it does illustrate how difficult balancing her family’s secrets and her desire to serve the truth is becoming. The hour forces her to face something of an ethical crisis, asking where she’s willing to draw the line when it comes to protecting her family and telling the truth. 

Lois, of course, knows exactly what happened to all the Smallville residents who had Kryptonian consciousnesses stuffed into their bodies and precisely how Morgan Edge was responsible for it. But that’s not exactly a story she can put in the paper, not without potentially exposing multiple members of her family to very real danger. 

The fact that Lois decides to be less than truthful is as understandable as it is shocking. I mean, this is Lois Lane – she’s basically the embodiment of the truth part of the whole truth, justice, and the American way thing. But when faced with uncomfortable questions about Edge and what, precisely, the Department of Defense was doing in Smallville, Lois balks, choosing to lie (poorly) about what she knows. 

As a result, we not only get to see Lois genuinely struggle with what (if anything) to reveal in the press about what happened, we also see her get called on the carpet by a most unexpected person.

Smallville Gazette editor Chrissy Beppo has spent most of Superman & Lois’ first season gazing at her star reporter with heart eyes: Lois is her idol, after all, and she’s beyond thrilled that they get the chance to work together. It’s why Lois’s choice to lie stings so much.

In “Fail Safe,” Chrissy stands up to Lois for the first time, confronting her co-worker (but more importantly, her friend) about the fact that she’s not only lying, but she’s also going against the very thing she always purported to believe in most: The truth. 

“​​I think [that] was a very scary thing for Chrissy,” actress Sofia Hasmik tells Den of Geek. “[But] I think it’s something that needed to be done.” 

“Because a lot of what she does admire in Lois is this very unrelenting, very steadfast approach to journalism. Not only does she admire her as a person, [but she also] admires her integrity as a journalist.” 

In Hasmik’s view, Chrissy calling out Lois’s problematic behavior is a sign of just how much she respects and cares about her. 

“You learn from your idols, you know,” Hasmik says. “And you hope to not only do yourself justice but to do them justice [too]. This is what I learned from you, and this is why I’m holding my ground on this.

By standing up to Lois and standing up for the truth of the story – what a perfect way to pay homage to her idol in a weird way.”

Read more

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By Nicole Hill

Much of the tension at the heart of Superman & Lois revolves around trying to keep potentially life-altering secrets in a small town that’s very existence is built on the idea of trust and community. No matter what you do in a place like Smallville, your actions will inevitably impact those around you in ways both good and ill – whether you’re a superhero, a local mom, or an intrepid journalist trying to track down a story. 

Edge didn’t just brainwash a dozen innocent people and force them to do his bidding, he did so by preying on the very connections that make Smallville special. Lana, for example, was such a great choice to convince others to join his company precisely because she was so trusted by her neighbors and friends. It’s why she’s being (pretty unfairly) punished so viciously now. 

So while Lois’s decision to cover for her father and the DoD certainly makes sense – it’s not like they can tell the town residents about the whole Edge actually being Superman’s half-brother trying to build a Kryptonian army thing – it’s also easy to understand why Chrissy would see it as such a personal betrayal. Who’s going to look out for Smallville if not the people that live there?

“I think [for] Lois, this particular moment with Chrissy especially, could be a reminder of what she [once] stood for. And you also see in the episode that Lois has her moments as well. She doesn’t feel good about the situation either. And it is a very in-your-face reminder of why she got into journalism.. I’m just really happy that Chrissy got to play a part in that.”

Ultimately, Lois’ realization that she’s too close to the story to report on it objectively feels like a defining moment for her – that perhaps despite her best intentions both at home and in the office, there are times where she won’t be able to balance everything and difficult choices will have to be made.

“Her entire career  [has been] coming to this sort of ethics build-up of her personal life with Clark and Superman and her father. Where do you draw the line? what stays private?” Hasmik says. 

Though Superman & Lois is a superhero show, it’s also a story about the heroes present in everyday life, whether that means a community that comes together to lift up someone in need or one single woman who’s determined not to keep local journalism alive in her town, even if she has to do itall  on her own. 

“I admire so much that Superman & Lois – it [says] that we all have the ability within us to choose right from wrong. And instead of succumbing to pressures or outside influences, it’s [about] really standing up for what is right,” Hasmik says. “It’s this idea of families, this idea of community, it’s what’s for the greater good and how everyone’s actions [can] influence that. I’m just so proud of the show for having those messages wrapped in every single episode.”

As for Chrissy and Lois, though the pair’s friendship is currently at a rocky place, Hasmik is looking forward to seeing their relationship develop even further as the series progresses. 

“I’m obsessed with the Chrissy and Lois relationship,” she says. They’re such a duo together and I think the relationship has developed so much since we first met Chrissy and since she first met Lois. She’s been holding the Gazette down [on her own] for so long. [So] I love the fact that Lois is with her now and I can’t wait to see the development of where that goes.”  

The post Superman & Lois: How “Fail Safe” Sets Up a Difficult Choice for Lois appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2V4jqtC

[felipeandletizia]

"The King and Letizia are very different, but they complement each other very well"

Uxía Blanco has been working as a journalist for almost twenty years. She has been editor in the  HOLA! magazine and has been covering the Royal House for Diez Minutos magazine for the last sixteen years. In this interview with Cuv3, she tells about the day-to-day of the journalists that cover this type of information and its peculiarities.

Journalism ont the Royal House

Question: Why did no one give the exclusive view that the King, at that time the Prince, was dating Letizia?

Answer: Until they did not realize that the news was comingo out they did not make it official. There were several journalists who had an idea that there was something there, but no one will confirm it. Then you can reveal that the Prince is going out with that girl, but if it's a lie then you get yourself in trouble. In the subjects of the Royal House you don't play much with the exclusives. They can tell you things before to help you work. For example, trips, summits ... I know their schedule from here to November, but it's because this helps me to plan my trips. So you can leave and leave your children or your husband, it's logistics. But I can not use that information. If I publish it, they will not give it to me again and I will not be helped again, logically.

Q: When you get information, does Casa Real usually confirm or deny it?

A: If it is something of the Head of State yes, if it is something related to the family never. That is to say, I learn that Queen Letizia has put Invisalign, the famous apparatus, by some photos where there is a shine. Then I call the Royal House to ask. They'll say this is a private matter. Therefore, neither confirming nor denying it. In the Royal House they don't say that kinf of thing, which for me is much more difficult.

Q: What has been the worst information so far and how did you decide to treat it?

A: The worst information was a conversation with Queen Sofia. She is an incredible woman, but due to her age and her education she nows seems outdated. When the Nóos case broke, we were with her in Greece and had a conversation where she told us that Urdangarín was innocent. Sure, it's her son-in-law, he's the husband of her daughter and it's a little more personal. The words were not "he's innocent" but that's what she meant. That information for me is very valuable because I am of the "gossip" press. I talked to my boss about this many years ago, and we decided not to publish it. Even though we had permission to publish it, we did not do it because think about it: is the benefit big or small? Am I going to sell more for publishing it? I don't think so. The damage you could do to your image was superior to your benefit. It's like killing the chicken that feeds you.

Q: In 2015 the Royal House changed the communication strategy to appear closer to the press. We can see that comparing Juan Carlos and Felipe's speeches and the change of the family photos in the background. Do you think it worked well?

A: It is true that the communication policy has changed, but it has changed to close it, the other way around. In the time of Don Juan Carlos everything was much simpler, now things are much more controlled. It is also true that there's much more media, there is the Internet and so they try to control it more. Zarzuela's new communications chief, Jordi Gutiérrez, has established a much closed communication strategy with the King and Queen that is working for them. We never see the girls, we know absolutely nothing about them. If you compare it with the information of other European Royal Houses, we know when the Swedes start school. This is attributed to the Queen because it is new and is bad, but I think it is more of the King. I think he does not want them to have a childhood like the one he had, so much media exposure.

Q: It is often said that Letizia has tried to improve Felipe's personality, make him a little "warmer", do you think this has benefited him?

A: Yes, of course. But the King has always been very good-natured, he is hyper-educated. What happened to the King, that he has gained from the Queen, is that he did not live the "normal life". He did not know how the average Spaniard lived. He knew it from his trips, but not the day to day. When she came in, I think they have mixed her friends of a normal social class with Felipe's friends, who are upper class. Letizia has made him a more normal person. But I believe that the King does not need the Queen much for that, although she is much more spontaneous, more questioning and he is much more reserved. He thinks before speaking, she does not, she speaks without problem. Of course, she never messes up. They are very different, but I think they complement each other quite well as a team.

Replacement in the Monarchy

Q: On the subject of transparency, what do you think has improved or worsened compared to Juan Carlos and Sofia?

A: The issue of transparency is interesting for the Spaniards to see what the Royal House spends, but there are still certain things that they could try to make them more transparent. For example, they publish the list of gifts every year, but they are only "institutional" gifts. You do not know if Tous has given the Queen a pair of € 9,000 earrings. Those they consider it from the private sphere, there is like a double standard that is not yet very clear. I believe that this King wants to take away the subject of his brother-in-law, his sister and also a little of the whole political issue. He wants them to see that the Crown, that is not chosen, that it is a thing that is there and that we all assume, at least the money that he receives he spends it on useful things. If you get on the website, you see how many photocopies they have made. But, well, there are things that still have to be perfected a bit like personal gifts. There is an argument there, but to me the transparency seems to me well. It gives me a theme to do yearly, there are very curious presents on the list. From a donkey to a gold box or two tons of dates from the King of Morocco.

Q: When it came to the whole Nóos case and came to you, what do you decide to publish?

A: The Nóos case is an exploded view of the Arena Case of Mallorca. What is clear is that politicians love to take the picture with any member of the Royal Family. That's where the problem comes from. Urdangarín, guilty or not, what he did was manage a little the ego this of the politicians to get his own benefit to the Foundation or to the Institute. When we began to notice it, in our heart we try to look at the personal side of how this affects the Infanta Cristina, her children, Don Juan Carlos who at that time was King and of course the princes of Asturias. To see how they are reacting. The Nóos case came after the fall of Botswana and several operations of Don Juan Carlos. That was like the last drop.

Source

[youngcebuanainmanila-blog]

Gratitude Journal (March 2, 2019)

March 2, 2019 is not an ordinary day. I was grateful for numerous things that happened on that day. Nonetheless, if I were to choose three specific things, events, or people that made that day memorable, I would choose the following:

1.     Lights for Hope

Lights for Hope (LFH) took place on March 2, 2019. I volunteered to be a facilitator and was assigned to be the point person for our facilitators group. Prior the event, I attended an orientation, a training, and group consultations to prepare me for the event. It was very tiring, especially because the call time during the event day was at five o’clock in the morning and the event ended at five o’clock in the afternoon. However, my heart was totally full. I was so happy to have met 33 wonderful and makulit kids from Park 7, which is inside Varsity Hills, Brgy. Loyola Heights, Quezon City. In the morning, we spent time inside the Ateneo High School Covered Courts to witness the program and to experience the various kiddie booths that were set up. I played with the kids and was always the taya as we played habulan. In the afternoon, we went inside the classrooms to conduct the modules prepared for the kids. The kids were asked to make a “Love Tree” wherein they each picked five people whom they love and wrote messages for each of those individuals. The kids opened up about how grateful they are for their family who constantly correct their wrongdoings and support them in reaching their dreams. The day ended with each and everyone of them thanking us, their facilitators. We may have been interacting for approximately ten hours only, but I learned several things from them that I would bring with me for the next years. They made me miss my childhood and made me realize how simple the dreams of a child may be. Most of them just want to be play, to see a specific movie, to meet their favorite celebrity. They did not think much of their future and they were genuinely happy. However, they were already aware of the various happenings around them, of their environment and neighborhood, of their parents’ sacrifices for them. They already had an idea of what things they want to change. I realized that children are very genuine. They may still be innocent of how the real world works, but once something affects them, they remember and think about it. They are continuously learning, and they learn fast. As such, we, adolescents and adults, should do our best to guide the young generation. We should be good role models to them. We should not be tired of teaching them the right values. We should answer their questions appropriately whenever they ask. We should continue to learn from them because teaching and learning involves a two-way process.

(Some of the boys of G6.)

In addition to the kids, I am also grateful to have met my co-facilitators for my group, G6. I was with Christine Chua, Craig Justine Valenzuela, Jessicca Dee, Kenrik Lim, Rico Cruz, and Sofia Antonio. I only knew Sofia since we are blockmates. As for the rest, I only met them on the day itself and I really had fun with them. Christine, Jessicca and Kenrik are seniors. All of us were first-time facilitators, which made the experience more interesting because we all did our best to learn from scratch. It was just amazing to hear their stories and reasons on why they volunteered for LFH. Some were forced by friends. Some were just curious. Some already found a passion in volunteering. Despite having different reasons, at the end of the day, we all still achieved our ultimate goal for LFH–to serve kids and make them happy.

(G6 kids and facilitators Sofia, Reisha and Rico.)

2.      Recovery of a Friend and the Gift of Friendship

Last Friday evening, a friend from high school attempted to commit suicide. She was in Sagada and was travelling alone. She chatted to us in our group chat and said that she had three hours to live after overdosing herself with prescription drugs. Together with my entire high school batch, I was so worried of her. She was not always open of her problems to us and even to her family. Nonetheless, we made sure that she would never feel alone. The most alarming thing was that she had already tried to overdose last week in Cebu and was even admitted to the hospital. I do not know why she was still allowed by her parents and psychiatrist to travel to Manila and go to Sagada alone after that incident. I spent my entire Friday night trying to know more about her current situation in Sagada. I am thankful to have my high school batchmates because they proved to me that they would do anything for each and everyone of us. We became “detectives” as we searched Google for more information about her possible whereabouts. We called police stations and travel agencies. Luckily, one of our classmates successfully contacted the travel agency she booked with and informed the travel agency of what she did inside her room. The travel agency immediately responded to the situation. It was already past midnight when she was hospitalized and fully monitored. In addition, Johanna Bantol and our high school batchmates from UP Los Baños and UP Diliman decided to go to Sagada in order to monitor our friend. They arrived there early in the morning of March 2, 2019.

I am grateful that my friend is recovering right now. Since her flight back to Cebu is still on the 15th of March, she will be staying for a while in Los Baños. I was not able to go to Sagada because I had to go to Lights for Hope. Nonetheless, I will continuously pray for her. I will try my best to always make her feel that she has us, her friends, as well as her family. In addition, I am very thankful to have my friends. I am thankful that we constantly support one another even if we are miles apart, even if we are also fighting our own battles every single day. I miss Philippine Science High School, but I will miss more the people whom I met there and grew up with for six wonderful years.

(L-R: Milvie, Scott, Johanna and Brigham visiting our friend in a hospital in Sagada.)

I learned that there are still people who do not believe that depression is real. There were parents who did not believe in our friend’s situation. There were people who thought that it was just a joke. Well, depression is real, and it can happen to anyone, anytime. It is time for people to be aware of what mental health is and how to address mental health issues. As students, we must spread awareness and directly help those people who need us whenever possible. 

3.     Health of my Family

February was not really a good month for our family. During the 2nd week of February, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital due to diabetes. She is already 78 years old. When I called her, she told me, “Kung kuhaon nako ni Lord, basin oras na gyud nako. (If the Lord gets me, maybe it is really my time already.)” It bothered me because our family is not yet ready to let her go. We will never be. She has been the source of wisdom of the family. I grew up with her by my side. For that week, I always called her and regularly asked my mother for updates. Thankfully, she was discharged from the hospital after seven days.

However, during the 3rd week of February, my only sibling, Ryle Howard, was diagnosed with dengue and had to be admitted to the hospital. I had dengue when I was 13 years old and I knew the distress that it brings to the family, especially with the constant lowering of the platelet count. Ryle is only four years old and he serves as my motivation to reach for my dreams in order for me to help him achieve his dreams. My mother was very worried and was even panicking the first time she called me to inform me of the situation. I believed in my parents that they would do everything for Ryle to be healthy again. Eventually, Ryle recovered and was able to go home after five days of being in the hospital. I was also worried of the hospital bill, because my mother is jobless while my father has an average income as a call center agent. In the end, they only paid PhP1,800 because it was a district hospital and Ryle was covered by my mother’s PhilHealth benefits.

(My brother and I during my high school graduation.)

The 4th week of February was still not good. My father had diarrhea and was admitted to the hospital. I began to question what was happening to my family after all the health problems that occurred. My father just told me to think about my studies, and to believe that he would be fine soon. Thankfully, he was discharged last Saturday morning, March 2, 2019.

(My parents and I during my high school graduation.)

I hope and pray that the horrors of February would not be present in March and in any other month. It was very difficult to study when I was also worrying about my family’s well-being in Cebu. I hope and pray that people will be more aware of their health status and be careful not to get sick. I am thankful that finally, my family is in good health once again right now. I was reminded to take good care of my own health as well, especially because I live away from my family.