#pftw tour

[vengeancevixen]

Damn, Brendon 🥰😍😘

[hillerska-official]

Glad he finally decided to stop brutally beating that beloved dead horse

[soup-is-nice-sometimes]

warning brendon mention + also excessive usage of brackets and like no punctuation/formatting except for paragraph breaks iM SORRY

sick and tired of ppl saying panic went to shit after ryan and jon left like yes it downgraded (compared to afycso my fave album from them) B U T ian (even tho he was only there for a few years) and dallon (who stayed on til 2017 oh how he put up with a lot of bs over the years) rlly kept it from tanking in those key years imo

like dallon is credited w writing most of v&v (with the exception of "nearly witches" - ryan wrote that) and all of twtltytd (is that even the album name idk i dont rlly listen to post ryan panic sorry not sorry) and he played bass not only for the end of pretty odd touring but also as part of the band til 2015 and then continued touring til 2017 (plus apparently brendon stopped him from releasing a song w 21 pilots which is actually why im writing this lmfao) like

dallons writing was on a similar level to ryans and it feels mean/unfair to reduce those albums that he did write to "shit" bc ryan wasnt there

and yes doab has a couple of bops (crazy = genius and also la devotee imo) but overall they dont cancel out what is mostly a shit album (ok yes dont threaten me w a good time is okay too but he did NOT make those high heels work good lord) esp cause there were literally none of the ogs except brendon on that)

and ofc pftw is ass if i ever hear high hopes or hey look ma i made it i actively try and leave wherever i am (they fucking played high hopes at a skate night i went to WHEN I WAS COSPLAYING RYAN ROSE VEST)

also side note fuck u brendon for continuing to play camisado after ryan left even tho it was like the one song he asked you to stop performing it cause it was rlly personal to him AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN (ofc all the songs were personal to him but camisado was one of the ones that he specifically drew on his experiences w/ his father to write)

also side note 2 imo panic died when spencer left (2013) but was temporarily revived til dallon left (2017) and brendons been dragging its corpse around for the last 6 years. and idc what anyone says the touring artists he played with do not count as panic cause no offence but like their title says theyre TOURING ARTISTS (like how dallon didnt consider himself a part of panic when he was touring w em til they asked him officially and then when he "stopped contributing creatively" - his words) like i rlly doubt ppl can name them off the top of their heads (altho theyre underappreciated for dealing w brendon)

if you've read this far PLEASE feel free to comment (? is taht what its called here) and/or reblog w ur additions/opinions im fairly open-minded abt others ideas!

[dirty-urie]

I wonder if Brendon got medicated for his ADHD, and that's why he was noticeably calmer, more mature, and slightly more detached on his last tour. I was reading a Reddit post where someone lamented that there weren't any tour vids, and someone responded that (allegedly) Jake Chams had said it was because everyone backstage was more mature and less interesting (I still would've loved to see B though 🥺). And I don't doubt Brendon matured "naturally" in the ~3 years he was MIA, but it is SUCH a distinct change from the PFTW tour that it seems strange there weren't any other interventions. And we know he was going through mental health struggles, so seeing a therapist and psychiatrist wouldn't be out of the question. I know he said he hated his ADHD meds when he was younger BUT A. Our brain chemistries change as we age B. There are different ADHD meds that I affect each person drastically differently C. His mindset could have shifted, improving his results. Especially knowing he had a kid on the way. Crippling executive dysfunction, inability to focus sometimes, and self-medicating with alcohol and weed are fine when it's just you to look out for, but that could pose a danger to a child. I'm not sure my point. I hope he's okay is all, whether that's medicated or rawdogging it.

[gamesoflevitation]

I <3 a music company taking music leaks away from us because in a hypothetical timeline where they were released (which we aren’t in) we would be buying them instead (which we’d all be willing to do but we’re not allowed to) so they’re theoretically losing money over this. And all from an artist who has encouraged pirating his music Capitalism kills art

LITERALLY!!! And if right now, or in 10 years, or whenever, the powers that be decide that they wanna officially put out these songs in like a unreleased compilation album or something, I can’t imagine that these leaks rn would even hurt their sales. also also deep deep down in my heart I know that it is due to the commercialization of music that a lot of these songs didn’t make the cut to be on main albums in the first place.

It makes me so mad that these songs aren’t as easily accessible now as they were literally yesterday AND there are already other channels re-posting them on YouTube now. I wonder if those channels will be targeted as well.

A couple months ago there was a song officially released by Lana Del Rey which has been unofficially posted all over YouTube for years called Say Yes To Heaven. In the months leading up to the song officially being released, the YouTube videos were all targeted and removed. This kinda gave the fanbase an idea that the song was going to be officially released and it shortly thereafter was. HOWEVER, in the case of Panic!, who just announced the end of the band like 6 months ago, I don’t think there’s any real chance of them putting out an unreleased album at any point soon??? I think it is way too quick of a turnaround. So I really genuinely think that through and through this is just Warner or whoever being dicks and trying to make it so nobody ever hears these songs, at least not until they can make money off of it. ThE mArKEt iSn’T riGhT at the moment or whatever.

On top of that, Brendon used to play demos on stream occasionally which have never been officially released. Two unreleased Panic! songs are still in online circulation from being played in the House of Memories lounge during the PFTW tour cycles (Turn it Back Around and Stuck in the Middle). “Leaks” aren’t anything new.

But also there’s a google drive I have access to with all the recent panic! leaks in them if you want :)

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

I noticed on Kala’s IG stories she recently made a TikTok about “taking a break from dating.” Haven’t heard anything about Z and Kala getting a divorce/ no longer being together. You can watch the video I’m referring to in IG “TikTok” highlight. I know she posted a video recently where she was on the beach with Sarah. And Z went on tour with B. So obviously Z and Kala are still close with B and Sarah. Kala hasn’t posted any Z content and I just assumed that was because of shit show that happened with the allegations and drama. Now it seems Kala is single. Also, on another note….I know Kala is a certified doula and it makes me so happy knowing she can help Sarah throughout this pregnancy and birth. 🥺🥰

yeah, kala's been divorced from zack for a bit, after being separated for close to a year and a half https://popculturepress.org/2022/kala-macdonald-shares-her-story-and-maps-out-her-path-to-success/ she says they're still friends.

it seems like she is certified as a pre/post natal yoga coach and has at least done doula training (don't know if she's certified as a doula in california).

b's mom is a hypnotherapist and i could've sworn i read (pftw era i think) about her being a doula too (present and/or past) but can't find it now (hypnosis can also be used during childbirth). so it's possible my mind made the doula/childbirth part up

i've no doubt sarah's had kala, nani/grace, b, her parents, likely siblings in law, etc around. hope she was able to have a less medicalized birth and she's doing at least ok after the birth. going through pregnancy and childbirth is heroic (eg pregnancy and childbirth are the most dangerous for humans out of all mammals--this is part of why we should reproduce the least, more women die in childbirth than soldiers die in war, often more than double the amount). sarah's a fucking legend. (it's been leaked she gave birth the last couple days of jan-first couple days of feb already)

[randombubblegum]

Panic stans insisting the touring band are actual members is so weird. Like none of them have any power or input or get paid royalties and they can be instantly fired and replaced. Ironically the closest to a real member was probably Kenny, he was one of the 53 writers on PFTW and he’s probably using his streaming pennies to buy food now that he’s been exiled from society

ITS SOOOO FUCKING WEIRD like its not even up for debate lol, its literally an easily verifiable fact that they are NOT in the band?? and never have been. brendon urie is the only official member of panic at the disco everyone else is essentially meat puppets he gets to use on stage they have no creative control or agency to do anything within the “””band”””. and ya kenny was literally caught sexting a child on snapchat so idk why braindead weirdos are even trying to push this incorrect and frankly delusional narrative LOL

[oddpyromaniac]

P!atd made some great music. I had a great time at the PFTW tour. That being said I think Brendon is a shit human being, and I’m glad it’s finally over lololol

(I took down my p!atd poster a week ago I prophesied this)

[brendonuriesource]

tbhPANIC: IM BEYOND HAPPY, THIS IS A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT I STILL CANT BELIEVE #PFTWTour @PanicAtTheDisco | PFTW Tour - Laval, Canada.

[vengeancevixen]

Man, I miss the Viva Las Vengeance tour!!! It was so beautiful and so much fun!!!!! As Brendon said, you definitely had to be there. 🧡❤️💚💛

[brendonuriesaves]

so effing pretty ah

[heisthedrug]

Panic! At The Disco in the UK

📷 - Jakechams "Manchester tonight for the last stop of the UK dates. Been absolutely mental"

💜💀💜

[jisoosrainbow]

nothing will ever match the amount of joy and excitement i felt when brendon urie leapt out of the stage at the pray for the wicked tour. nothing.

[we-are-lost-in-a-dream-now]

Brendon being Brendon 🤷🏻‍♂️

P!atD // Pray for the Wicked tour - Europe // Week 1

[dirty-urie]

Diamonds and Daggers: a Ramble

This is a mess I don’t know what to tell you

First of all, I’m obviously interpreting most of the this song as literally sexual. Yes, it has deeper meanings, but i really don’t think it’s a straight up metaphor for getting fucked over by the music industry the whole time. I’m interpreting it like this because I’m horny! But also because I think it does Brendon a disservice to ignore what he’s explicitly (…very …explicitly) trying to communicate with the lyrics at face value. This song, I believe, was written for PFTW, that album is a love letter to vegas, reflecting on his youth from a place of success. A significant part of his Vegas youth and early success was his sex life. Obviously 😂 I have a whole blog about his sex life. So there’s some truth to it. Also, Brendon has always been very autobiographical in his writing, so I wouldn’t he surprised if almost everything comes from a place of real life experience, even if his main purpose is to communicate the punishing, addictive nature of his career.

Anyway. This is a bad time to tell you guys I’ve always had a slight masquerade mask kink 😂 they just make people hotter. I’ve started appreciating the emotional intimacy intimacy side of sex so so much more in the last year and a half or so as I’ve been unpacking trauma and forming strong bonds with who I’m attracted to, but fuck if the thought of having a no-holds-barred all night fuckfest with a mysterious stranger doesn’t sound pretty appealing 😂 especially a man even though I generally fantasize about women. Maybe it’s because men are already sub-human to me, so a faceless jacked sex slave to wordlessly do my bidding sounds perfect (THATS A JOKE DONT CANCEL ME)

(He’s a baby in this gif and therefore unsexy but you get the picture)

This song is what I envision when I think of early-to-mid-twenties Brendon on sexy Vegas romps (and the overly sexualized picture of Vegas in general… not just the sad expensive dusty desert town it normally is in reality. I mean, it’s fun, but normally not sexy sexy like you would wish it was.) Debauchery and anonymity and eagerness certainly. Beyond the physical setting of Vegas, I feel like d&d (unfortunate abbreviation), calls on some of his early touring days. A blur of substances and hotel rooms and more substances and sensations pretty people he’ll never see again in a good way. I love the submission and masochism, first of all because it’s so so so Brendon, but also because it depicts his… I’m not sure the right wording. Lack of maturity? Inexperience? Naivety of the time? Maybe self-doubt? It’s not quiiiiiite immaturity in the way But It’s Better depicts immaturity (shitty cocktails and naively believing you can find emotional fulfillment in meaningless sex. While there’s some sense of sex and booze dulling the pain, it’s different somehow. Less overt? Maybe it’s the ever-present sense of self-satisfaction, even when he wakes up alone in an alley, he’s still thinking of the taste of her. I think a lot of it could be that this song was looking back on naivety while BIBIYD was written during a place of strong naivety still. The boys had likely never actually been to a strip club at the time nor formed serious connections with sexual partners.) I mainly get a sense of deference to his partners as he’s assuming they’re older and/or more experienced and can show him the best way to a good time. In addition, the concept of novelty comes into play too there. If he lets a bunch of different people show him the way, he’ll learn a bunch more than if he’s leading them. I also love the line “I thought I’d seen it all ’til you dropped me to my knees”, mainly because it’s hot, but also because it really captures the awe and inexperienced naivety of young, exploratory sex. “You’re telling me there’s more?! 🫦🤤” Plus the “tell-tale heart” line tells me he was probably putting on a facade of confidence while nervous and/or embarrassingly excited deep down, which is another hint at immaturity and inexperience. It’s possible the heart mention is meant to imply more yearning for a deeper connection beyond the sex, but idk. It’s a demo so I’m not going to look too deeply into the lyrics themselves as they could just be drafts and placeholders without muchhhh meaning. It could also be a more tasteful way to bring up arousal. The words “tell-tale” make me think of him trying to play things aloof with a woman or other partner while obviously achingly hard. I’m sure there’s a connection to the Poe poem (the poe-m if you will), but I don’t know if it goes deeper than wordplay with the title.

B’s verified comment on But it’s better. Also the stripping story is wild and a little sad but I digress

I’ve always loved the juxtaposition of seedy shit (I’ve been fucked in many a shitty motel and apartment, and I have the most messed up nostalgia and romanticization of that time) and a classy facade, which I feel like the song really encapsulates. The black tie almost-eyes-wide-shut-esque orgy/S&M sex club, the velvet rope, waking up stumbling and fucked well, even the iconic “silk tie tourniquet” alluding to shooting up using nice clothes hbjjjsjsjk (I’m a recovering addict for those who don’t know and drug imagery+sex either makes me really horny because it’s double appealing or I go into a full blown panic attack because extremely iffy consent 😂 a fun Russian roulette game I play. But this imagery is appealing). Basically nice clothes scattered across the floor while debauchery takes place (I have a formal wear kink also if that wasn’t clear).

I’m obsessed with the hunger and desperation. We always knew Brendon to be a horny bastard, especially teens (ew I know) through late twenties. He still desires and enjoys sex now of course of course. But it’s slower, more about relishing emotions and forging emotional intimacy (for example, MOAB’s make-up/break-up sex depicted the emotional effect of sex on a relationship, the yearning to be physically close to make up for everything else. Sugar Soaker is playful moans and flirty teasing, probably drawing at least some inspiration from Sarah and his sex with her. But both songs certainly take sex… not for granted, but not as something he thinks he needs more than oxygen.) this song however. It’s a visceral biological NEED and that’s clear. It’s not making love, it’s fucking… hard (I did not mean to reference 50 shades 😂 but I realized I was as I was typing.) “wanna taste it all,” “beg and crawl,” “til I choke,” “starvin’”. Even as he’s fucking, its never enough: “louder, faster.” (I wonder if that’s his request or his partners’ for him. I assume he’s often the one penetrating [certainly not always. Pegging, fingering, etc. Not my thing but you do you. He says he’s never had penetrative sex with a man and I believe that just because why would he lie when he’s told us so much about his sex life already?], so it makes more sense coming from a partner he’s fucking. but could be a request coming from him during a blow/handjob, being ridden, impact play, aforementioned buttstuff, grinding, so it’s certainly not a given. I like the ambiguity, plays into the vibe of sex coming from everywhere and surrounding his life. Maybe he doesn’t even know who’s begging, just knows everyone fucking needs it. Maybe two people are fucking next to him and they’re requesting more, who knows? Not them and not me 😂) It also shows Brendon eager to please which I love. Lots of oral talk. That makes it clear that he’s desperate for more than just a quick orgasm despite the frenzy. He wants the new sensations, the skin-on-skin fervor, the satisfying moans of pleasure as you make someone come hard on your face (i miss eating pussy 😭😭😭😭😭😭) I feel like baby Brendon and modern Brendon fuck for the same length of time, the main difference is just that baby Brendon comes at least twice and sometimes early on, and elderly Brendon comes once at the very end when Sarah is tapped out and quivering and the sheets are soaked and fuck I’m going to come, someone sit on my face. My mouth is watering. It’s like baby Brendon is rushing to have more sex as he’s already deep into someone’s cunt. Nothing is ever quite enough. Like shoveling your face at a buffet even though you’re surrounded by food.

BAHAHAHAHA how did he say this with a straight-face

There’s definitely some slight hyperbole. While I’m sure he did attend orgies and get fucked hard against walls, there’s omission of the real-life awkward moments and human connection. It’s a high-light reel. Even the waking up in an alley moments are glamorized somehow. Like, he had bad haircuts and rotted on filthy tour buses and jerked off alone to shitty porn and had awkward embarrassing moments too back then. It wasn’t all underground sex parties. But I’m sure, especially in retrospect, some times just felt like a blur of bodies. It reminds me of hey look ma a bit, especially the music video, just going as hard as you can until you break down

While, again, I’m not analyzing anything too too deep (mostly I’m too sleepy and horny and a little sad tonight to be doing anything with my brain), I do want to touch on the phrase “Diamonds and Daggers” itself because it’s the title. It does kind of sound like words Brendon thought sounded good together and used as a place holder without much meaning, but I think at the very least, he’s talking about a carrot and stick type thing. He wants the good and the bad equally, pain with pleasure. This sort of plays into the idea of getting off on the very idea of depravity and sin so he wants it all. Also of course, it’s a metaphor for the music industry. I know I’m taking these lyrics very seriously and I appreciate the double entendres but I’m sorry, I’ve heard about his love-hate relationship with his job a billion times. I haven’t heard him getting strapped to walls a billion times. Fuck me 🤤 Also im autistic so literal meanings are easier for me 😂

There’s something about this song that is exactly what I’ve been wanting. It has the Vegas vibes that are a little deeper than just TWTLTRTD (which leaves a lot to the imagination but nothing is explicit. Calling himself a libertine, letting us imagine the sordid details of a casual affair, a FWB situation with Ms. Jackson, ggb about a threesome, partying in Vegas lights, a desperate hooked feeling about a person in nicotine, an obviously partially physical love affair throughout collarfull.) The lyrics to the original Vegas Lights sort of scratched the itch as they were more explicit but they were still more about generally being young in a party town. D&d has more art to it than MOAB or Sugar Soaker, which, while songs about sex, are kind of “I FUCKING LOVE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE IM SO FUCKING FAMOUSSSS” (Sugar Soaker sounds like a demo to me. I’m dead serious. I like it, but you can hear Viola’s influence and I don’t love him.) Honestly, as much as Panic! Is a sexy band who sings (sang 🥲) about sex, it’s normally in the context of an affair or relationship or shrouded in deeper meanings about the music industry or the nature of relationships. While this song certainly has that, it’s less annoying about it 😂 and like, the lyrics themselves are arousing I guess. That’s what it boils down to. While I might get aroused listening to casual affair and imagining him fucking me in secret while we sneak around, none of the lyrics themselves make me wet and desperate. These are different. And while I’m sure the initial thrill will wear off, it’s still a different effect than his slightly subtler songs

I wonder why this one was scrapped and adapted into Roarin 20’s (and I’m sure influenced other songs. Like hey ma.) I mean, it’s possible and likely this was always just a demo for him to capture the PFTW thematic and auditory vibe of reflecting on his wilder Vegas youth, and would never ever ever move beyond this anyway in the form of a song. But still, he wrote this sexy song for a reason. Could have been he was feeling nostalgic and horny but a reason nonetheless. He went as far as to record it, I do wonder if he wanted to make an explicitly sexy song for that album. I mean, it does fit well with the hedonism and music industry critique and pain and pleasure of pftw. But maybe he had to tone it down by label request or he didn’t want to feel to exposed (a good call considering a few atrocious fans during that tour) or maaaaaaybe even Sarah but I doubt it. She respects his art to the point that I don’t think she’d intervene unless it was explicit detail that obviously pertained to her (maybe why sugar soaker was toned down, but again, I think that’s just viola’s vibe). Or he just didn’t love it? I like that we’re getting it in demo form only personally. I’ve always sort of had issues with some of Brendon’s production and it’s easier to just say “it’s a demo, it’s going to sound a little bit shitty” than “THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER AGH 😭😭😭” plus it’s more intimate. I wouldn’t exactly want to see him sing this live (well maybe once but that’s just to see his face and body as he sings it. But not every night.) and while I’d like a music video because I can see this song SO CLEARLY in my mind 😂 there isn’t one that would satisfy me short of straight up porn (and then I wouldn’t like it still because of the ethical ramifications so 😂 maybe if it was simulated sex with a qualified intimacy coordinator and also we get to see his actual naked body including his cock then I’d be happy enough. But still nothing he could put on YouTube.)

But speaking of a music video, I do want to translate it into another medium. Maybe a fic? Especially if it was a bunch of tiny vignettes and less of a traditional fic. Or maybe just more inspiration for my longer form fic. I can’t really draw but I could trace certain elements into cohesive visuals or try painting. I would consider commissioning an artist but I’m poor, and again, I see this so clearly in my head. So I’m worried an artist would butcher my mental image.

To conclude (for now), a list of lyrics that made me dizzy in a good way in no particular order (it may just be all of it lol):

Strapped to the wall

Louder, faster

You dropped me on my knees (SO GOOD FUCK)

Pull me back into the black-tie masquerade

One hundred perfect bodies, zero names

Evening gowns and eye holes, no taboos

I wanna taste it all

Could move it to the mattress if you want (mmmm submissive man, tumbling into bed together, yes 🫦)

The taste of you that’s left inside my mouth

Lock me up and keep your name under my tongue (it’s a shame this one never made it into any real panic songs. It’s clever enough and it works well with a lot of Brendon’s ideas. Codependency, addiction, more about the music industry.)

[heavenlybrendon]

“If you’re feeling outcast, like you don’t belong, you’re getting bullied… Understand this: You belong here. We accept you. We love you, very, very much. Thank you for being here, thank you for existing.” —Brendon Urie