#phew this accidentally posted early ANYWAY

[jemandtherobots]

All 50 books I read in 2022, why I read them, and if I'd recommend them

Notes:

F = Finnish, i.e. the book was either written in Finnish or was translated into Finnish.

3 titles have been redacted bcos they're uhh self-help type books and I don't want you guys to know what I've needed help with.

Jeanne DuPrau - The City of Ember

I wanted to start the year off with an old favourite. Literally this was my fave book when I was 10 years old, and the one that got me into sci-fi.

Suzanne Collins - The Hunger Games trilogy

I think I saw a tumblr analysis post about these that made me want to re-read the series (and also, I was digging through my old books anyway). I think I liked these more now than I did ten years ago.

Kate DiCamillo - Because of Winn-Dixie

Another one from the pile of Books I Used To Love Many Years Ago. This one still holds up for sure, would recommend and not just to children.

Charlotte McConaghy - Migrations

Someone I follow online (an influencer!) recommended a different book by this author, but I found this one first and figured what the hell. It is a good book. It is a well-written book. But also as I was reading through every bad thing that had ever happened to the main character I kind of wanted to be like "isn't this enough? isn't is possible to write an interesting character without giving them every kind of trauma on the planet?".

redacted, (non-fiction)

A self-help book someone recommended in some Twitter replies, that happened to be on the audiobook service I was subscribed to for a couple of months. The advice in the book was very good but it didn't stick.

Rebekah Taussig - Sitting Pretty (non-fiction)

I don't remember how I came across this (it was also on the audiobook platform) but I'm so so glad I did. I don't just recommend this, I am physically coming to your house and making you read this book.

Alice Oseman - Solitaire

Final audiobook, listened to because I watched Heartstopper and figured I should see what Alice Oseman's works are about. I recommend this, if you don't mind a million Harry Potter references, mainly because I need the plot of this book to happen in the background of Heartstopper season 2 and I want people to understand.

Noora Tuhkanen - Kuuraattori (F)

I got (back) into poetry this year after attending a poetry open mic at my local library, and I decided I should read some poetry in Finnish. This one was alright.

Pauliina Haasjoki - Planeetta (F)

See above re: poetry. This one was actually on the librarian recommendations shelf and I only saw it as I was leaving the library, but the cover caught my attention so I went back for it. Glad I did; this is my favourite Finnish poetry I've read so far. A recommendation.

Jane Austen - Persuasion

I read this one fairly often anyway, but this year it coincided with the release of the trailer for the Netflix adaptation. Now that I'm writing this I'm thinking about The Letter so hard I might have to make this my first re-read of 2023. A definite recommendation.

Emmi Itäranta - Kuunpäivän kirjeet (F)

I bought this one ages ago because I will love and support anything Emmi Itäranta writes, but then I noticed it came out in the UK and I recommended it to a friend and immediately went "oh shit I should probably read it myself" so I read it really quickly and am pleased to say I didn't have to take back the recommendation. The best book Itäranta has written so far, if you're not from Finland please look up The Moonday Letters, this is probably in my top 3 books I've read all year. (Yeah, I recommend this.)

Eila Kaustia - Aikamerkki (F)

Poetry, Finnish, I was over at my grandma's for midsummer and it was on a bookshelf. I remember nothing about it, but I must have enjoyed it.

Jonathan Safran Foer - We Are the Weather (F translation, non-fiction)

I follow people online who are in what might be called the climate circles, heard good things about this one, read it, remember very little of it.

Bethany Clift - Last One at the Party

I've long had a thing for books in the "almost everyone in the world dies" genre (god knows why), but this wasn't it. Not bad, not the worst in the genre, but… could the sole survivor of the virus not have been a more interesting person, at least?

Mary Jean Chan & Andrew McMillan (ed.) - 100 Queer Poems

I feel like the title is explanation enough for why I bought this book. What more do you need to know? It's fuckin fantastic. I keep it on my bedside table and hug it occasionally. Would recommend.

Emily M. Danforth - Plain Bad Heroines

My local library has a section of books in English, and this one was in there with a rainbow flag sticker on the spine. Not sure how I feel about it, I mostly liked it but some parts made me go "uhh what the fuck". The writing itself was really good, though. I recommend it if you don't mind Weird Shit with your lesbian hauntings.

Dave Wolverton - The Rising Force

This one's a Star Wars book. About a young Obi-Wan Kenobi. Target audience: 9-y.o. boys (see: my brother when this book was bought for him) and me.

Mary Oliver - Blue Horses

This was a gift from a dear friend, and I treasure it almost as much as I treasure our friendship (a lot). Would recommend, both reading Mary Oliver and having friends.

Sini Helminen - Hurme (F)

This was one of my NaNoWriMo prep research books. I ventured into my library's YA section for this, to find Finnish fantasy books. I find it hard to rate this, considering it's in a genre I don't tend to read.

Elina Rouhiainen - Muistojenlukija (F)

More NaNoWriMo prep reading. I liked this more than I did Hurme, and wasn't even too distracted reading about the area of Helsinki where I'm from (fuck yeah Vuosaari). But again, it's not this book's fault, but fantasy YA just isn't for me.

Erin Sterling - The Ex Hex

NaNoWriMo prep reading of a different sort, this time a witchy romance. Felt a bit meh.

Ursula K. Le Guin - The Word for World is Forest

I'm a simple man: I see a Le Guin book, I read it. Obviously I would recommend this.

Ann Aguirre - Witch Please

Back to NaNoWriMo prep reading. Here's the thing: I read some questionable books in 2022. This was the worst. You may ask me why I hated it, but only if you want to hear a very long rant.

[redacted] (non-fiction)

A Humble Bundle book.

Charlotte Brontë - Jane Eyre

NaNoWriMo prep reading, again, this time taking the gothic romance approach. It's nicely written, and a classic for a reason, I guess.

Ryan O'Connell - Just By Looking at Him

Actually looked at my Bookbub email for the first time in years and this was in there! I loved Ryan O'Connell's Netflix show, Special, and I loved this book. I don't love what it did to my Google Play Books recommendations because it was marked as erotica. But I do recommend this book.

Remi Carrington - Wrangled by Lilith

Another Bookbub find, this one might even have been free. I saw the words "cowboy romance" and was somewhat disappointed.

Autokoulun oppikirja (F, non-fiction)

So I went to driving school, and this was the textbook I used for the written test. I guess I'd recommend it if you were learning to drive in Finland. The "what not to do" pictures were entertaining, so bonus points for that.

Claudia Burgoa & Grahame Claire - Holiday With You

Bookbub, free, Christmas romance. One of the better romance novels I read this year.

Ellie Cahill - I Temporarily Do

Bookbub, free, fake marriage trope. Also a pretty fun read.

CP Ward - Autumn in Sycamore Park

Bookbub, free, had a fun time with it.

Ashley Poston - The Dead Romantics

Bookbub, cheap, ghost romance. I liked it enough that I think I did recommend it to someone, and certainly enough that I was horrified when I saw it in a bookstore on the "tiktok made me buy it" shelf. I'd say this is my favourite booktok book I read.

Tamsyn Muir - Gideon the Ninth

This book was first marketed to me by a friend whose taste I do not trust (see "The Flatshare" and "Red, White & Royal Blue") as "sword lesbians in space" which obviously piqued my interest. Also, people on the internet who I don't see talking about books have been talking about this series for ages. And finally, I came across it at my local library. You guys were right, this is really good, and yes I would recommend it.

Sophie Ranald - No We Can't Be Friends

Bookbub, cheap (free?). Eh.

Rebecca Crowley - Shine a Light

Bookbub, cheap (free?). A holiday romance, set not at Christmas, but at Hanukkah. Obviously I'm reading it. And unlike many of the romance novels on my list this year: I would genuinely recommend this one if you enjoy the genre.

Emily M. Danforth - The Miseducation of Cameron Post

I guess I did like Danforth's Plain Bad Heroines enough that when I saw this in the YA section of the library I took it home. Not the most exciting book I've ever read, but fine.

Ali Hazelwood - The Love Hypothesis

The first time I saw this on the "tiktok made me buy it" shelf at the bookstore, I was curious as someone whose interests include romance and academia, but who got burned by a book about those a few years back. Then I heard it was originally a Reylo fic, and I knew I had to read it. Bookbub came through for me, I paid a euro, and… well, it's not the worst book I've read all year. I wouldn't recommend it, but I did have fun with it.

Anni Nupponen - Valkoinen kaupunki (F)

Of the books in my library's tiny sci-fi section, this one seemed the most promising out of the ones I hadn't read before, and it turned out to be So Good. The world-building was amazing. Unfortunately most of you will have to take my word for it because this book has not been translated into any other languages, sorry.

Diana Wynne Jones - Howl's Moving Castle (F translation)

The movie adaptation was my comfort watch of 2020, and this book my comfort read of the same year. I don't remember what made me think of it, but I got it out the library once more. Lovely book, what more can I say? Also, the translation is really good - I'm annoying and picky about translations but this one worked. Would therefore recommend both the book and the translation.

Mary Oliver - Swan & A Thousand Mornings (both F translation)

Well. I read these because I adore Mary Oliver (we know this) and I needed lines from poems I liked for a poetry class assignment. I would recommend the poems but not the translations.

Tiina Tuppurainen - Sinä olet perheeni (F)

I heard the author speak at a Pride event and I was curious about this book as a queer Finn. I very much wanted to like this book. I did not.

Ashlyn Kane & Morgan James - Winging It

Another cheap Bookbub find. As someone who has spent a lot of time reading a lot of Check, Please! fanfiction, what was I supposed to do, not read the gay ice hockey romance? I'd recommend it if you would like the experience of reading Check, Please! fanfiction except with different characters, but it doesn't really have much more to offer.

[redacted], non-fiction

Another Humble Bundle book.

Shirley Jackson - The Lottery and Other Stories

I've read and loved two of Shirley Jackson's novels, and I figured I would love her short stories just as much. I almost did. I think I just didn't "get" some of the stories which is really a me problem.

Beth O'Leary - The Flatshare

A pal recommended this, and I read the Finnish translation a couple of years ago, and I read it again because it came up for like 1€ on Bookbub and I remembered thinking it was okay. It's a fun concept, but a fun concept does not a brilliant book make. My 2020 self was right: it was okay.

Connie Willis - Doomsday Book

I bought this in like, 2015 or 2016, when my method for selecting a book was "as long as it's sci-fi written by a woman" (which is something I still do in bookstores). It's set around Christmas, so I have a tradition of reading it around then, going so far as to buy the ebook copy because my physical copy is with my brother. I would absolutely recommend this book, but not without content warnings.

Casey McQuiston - Red, White & Royal Blue

A friend (see above re: The Flatshare) actually recommended this to me back when it came out, so I was curious about it, and another friend read it and said they hated it. This second friend lent it to me with the words "I'd tell you to enjoy, but I don't think we can be friends if you do" and I'm happy to say I wouldn't recommend this book. It's a fun read, but it isn't good.

[unmanageable-day]

Come to me

masterlist

previous chapter: 21

PART 21.5 - next

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

Genre. College!au, non-idol!au / friends to lover

Pairing. Joshua x y/n x S.Coups

WC / warnings. 2k / soft makeout sesh (can you call it that when no tongues involved??? or maybe its more like pecks session)

TAGLIST. @samemagicpoint​​ @unravellyn​​ @nonuuu​​ @seventeeneration​​ @skylions-den​​ @wooziverse​​ @infinitemoods​​  —  [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! ]

You found yourself being confused, sitting on a couch in a corner of a barbershop, flipping page after page of an outdated magazine mindlessly. Sometimes you stole a glance towards a man whose hair was getting cut and dyed. The man who dragged you there and made you accompany him. The reflection of him in the mirror threw a big smile at you.

"How do I look?" he asked as soon as he and you walked out of the barbershop.

"Just looking like S.Coups. What do you expect me to say?" You chuckled.

Grinning, he casually put his arm around your barely clothed shoulder. The direct contact to your skin simply got you flustered. This was the day you regret ever purchasing a skimpy top with spaghetti strap.

Early in the morning, a friend of yours, Somi, came crashing at your place, forcing you to go out with her. She even dug your closet to find an outfit that was not your everyday wear. And that was how the long forgotten floral sleeveless top was found. You cursed why it was found in peak summer season like this. It just made Somi so eager encouraging you to wear it. She even prepared a pair of jeans, mules, and a handbag that would match the top, according to her. And you can't say no when she looked at you with her pleading eyes.

"We will look awesome, Unnie. You see, the color of our top mixes so well together. We have to take pictures. I promise this cafe has the best ambience. You should update your insta, your feed is so dull because you shitpost too much on Twitter," she excitedly rambled.

You never wanted to go home so bad after Somi dragged you here and there until noon. The hot weather quite bothered you, especially that you felt more exposed than usual. Usually you would have your outer whenever you wore sleeveless shirt. Today was an exception because Somi hurried you and you couldn't grab an outer from the closet.

When Somi accidentally spilled some coffee and you may or may not have purposely wiped your hand that got chocolate sauce on your shirt, you thought it was a good chance to buy new clothes. The baby sister rushed you to the closest store, but you were wrong to think you could choose yourself. Because she immediately took 2-3 pieces of another sleeveless top even with spaghetti strap, pushed you to the changing room, and when you were done, she went straight to the cashier and paid the bill.

Wandering around the store before catching up on Somi, you intended to buy some outerwear. But your hands stopped as you were bewildered when someone called you. And it turned out to be Seungcheol shopping by himself. That was how Somi ditched you with a lame excuse because she got overly excited to see you with a fine looking guy.

"Afternoon snack? Boba milk tea?" Seungcheol offered with his gummy smile. He surely appreciated you waiting for him for more than 60 minutes at the barbershop.

These days you found yourself hanging out with him a lot. You surely remembered how flirtatious he was the first time you met him. He was definitely one person you wanted to avoid, or at least to not hang around with that much. Because, one, he was friends with Joshua Hong, and two, you can't stand him flirting and being cringey all the time. The weird thing was now you can't say no to him. This man strangely found his way to you and somewhat won a small part of your heart.

"Or maybe not?" you said as you looked up in the sky. The sunny day had turned into cloudy as the sky got darker. It looked like it was going to rain soon. The little handbag you carried cannot even fit a little umbrella you always brought anywhere anytime. Now you were panicking, already thinking to call a taxi to go home before it rained.

"I think it's wiser to go to my place since it's closer from here. I'll take you home when the rain stops."

"Your place?" you quietly asked, looking concerned. You remembered the three of them lived together. Joshua told you in the first weeks of your internship, about Jeonghan being sulky everyday because of how loud he was when the blender was working to made smoothies aka to provide your breakfast.

You were this close to running away with a taxi as little rain drops started falling and you could feel the cool breeze against your bare skin. Unfortunately not a single vacant taxi was sighted.

"Um.. nobody’s home. Jisoo and Jeonghan are going out," he explained, as if he could read your mind. The longer you took your time contemplating, the grey shade in the sky was getting more visible. Little rain drops started getting bigger and you were running out of choices. "Come on, we don't want you to get wet, do we?" Seungcheol gently took your hand and lead the way.

Again, you can't say no and you cursed yourself for being very indecisive. All you hoped now was this wasn't a bad idea, although you already had a not so good feeling about this.

"Phew, just in time," he remarked as the two of you reached the apartment lobby when the rain suddenly fell heavily. "Let's get upstairs, dry ourselves, and I'll lend you my jacket."

You shook, reassuring him that you were okay. "I'm fine," you said, wiping off the wet trace on your arms. But as soon as you entered the living room, you couldn't deny the chilly temperature that suddenly crept up your body.

"Towel?" he offered, handing over a pink colored fabric.

You muttered thanks as you continued wiping your arms and shoulders.

"Here, wear my cardigan." He tossed a black knit-wear before heading to the pantry to make some hot drink. "Don't just stand there. Go sit on the couch, turn on the TV or something," he chuckled.

You nervously made your way to the couch and sat up straight. Soon, Seungcheol joined you with two cups of hot peppermint tea. Seeing his cardigan crumpled in your hands, he took it and helped to put it around your shoulder. "Feel better?" he asked warmly as he adjusted his seat beside you. Nodding your head, you smiled back at him.

"The rain doesn't look like it will stop soon. Let's just wait a little bit longer, okay?"

It wasn't like you have other better choices anyway. Going home by bus or taxi and get drenched in the middle? No way.

"Is there anything you want to watch?"

"Not really. Just don't trick me to watch horror movies like Joshua did."

"He did that?" He chuckled. "That was messed up, I bet."

A nervous smile was curved on your lips. You were surprised yourself that you still remembered that one time watching movie with Joshua. That was something nobody ever knew. It just slipped off your mouth when Seungcheol asked.

His choice finally was a classic, award-winning movie. Seungcheol can't keep his mouth shut throughout the movie, commenting every scene or comparing with other movies. He subtly scooted closer, and the pointing gesture which he often does eventually decreased. His loud talking also started to become quieter.

"Why?" you spoke, noticing the sudden silent.

"Nothing." His lips pursed into little grin, his eyes finding yours. "Lean on me?"

At first you were hesitant. But there was something about him that always managed to mesmerize you. His opened arms, the warm smile on his face, and his soft gaze hypnotized you. The next thing you knew was you already resting your head against the crook of his neck, his arm looping around your shoulder, his hand fixing the oversized cardigan on you. You can smell his scent. Although the perfume did not have a strong aroma, it was quite fit to your liking.

The movie was reaching the end and post credit scene. Yet none of you did anything but enjoyed the silence with each other's company. You could feel Seungcheol's hand rubbing your upper arm gently. He clearly didn't have intention to release you from his embrace. In fact, he had never wanted to be as selfish as now.

"I wish the rain stops soon," you mumbled. You tried not to squirm too much. But not fidgeting at all didn't help to deal with the current situation. You started to wonder why you just threw yourself at him.

"I wish we can stay like this," he mumbled, almost whispering.

You pretended not to hear that. Suddenly you felt his lips slightly grazed against your forehead. You flinched but you couldn't go anywhere. His arm was still around your shoulder, securing you in place.

You knew this wasn't right.

"Um, we shouldn't.." you mumbled as you squirmed trying to sit up, hoping he would loose his firm grip but to no avail.

By the time you spoke breaking the silence, Seungcheol had readjusted his position, twisting his upper body so you were trapped between his arms. The back of your head stuck against the sofa, which you wished there was no headrest there so you could have escaped from this situation. Without warning but very slowly, he rested his forehead against yours, one of his hand creeping towards your hand that had your fingers curled into a fist. His thumb gave little rubs on the back of your palm, suggesting to be more at ease and also to open up so he could hold your hand properly. You could feel his minty breath as he leaned in closer and your noses brushed each other. In a matter of a second, his lips was pressed against yours then he slightly pulled away.

"I know I shouldn't.." he slowly whispered before going for another peck. Or two, which made you unconsciously gave in and shut your eyes as he sneaked his hand to hold the side of your exposed neck. And there goes another kiss. "But your lips.." Kiss. "So soft." Kiss. "And sweet." Kiss. "I think I could taste something like strawberry." Kiss.

You had no idea what had gotten into you accepting his kisses like this. You probably forgot how to breathe. If it wasn’t for the way he always took quick pauses between his kisses, you could have suffocated yourself. Not to mention, the way he gently rubbed the back of your hand, which somehow it worked to comfort you (and you probably will hate yourself for this).

What were you even thinking? Did he lead you on? Did you lead him on?

Slowly releasing your hand, his arm then made its way to wrap around your waist before finally planting the another kiss, a bit longer than the previous ones.

As he pulled away, you slowly opened your eyes and met his. The first thing you recognized was his long lashes and the thick brows. That was the first time you were struck by how pretty he was. Still holding you close, his hand traveled to tuck some hair strands behind your ear.

"Seungcheol, I..."

"Keep it." He cut your words with another peck.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Utterly shocked by the presence of someone else, you turned your head abruptly only to find certain someone to be as surprised as you were. "Jisoo.." you mumbled his name, your eyes quivering looking at him with the rest of the guys who dropped their jaws. You hurriedly released yourself from Seungcheol's arms and stood up. Yet you didn't know what to do. Should you explain what just happened? But then what is there to explain? And why should you?

Joshua didn't speak a word after that. He just locked his fiery eyes at Seungcheol, probably waiting for him to say something. Jeonghan and the other guys were nervous at the tense situation that they wouldn't dare to open their mouths.

You took a glimpse at Seungcheol. He was just standing beside you, one hand on his waist and the other one brushing his fringe. He looked like he did nothing. As if nothing just happened.

Jeonghan initiated to break the silence. "Y/n, it's still raining outside. Mingyu will take you home. Is that alright?" he asked you softly, approaching you then very subtly and gently pulling you away from Seungcheol.

You hesitantly nodded, not sure if you could just leave without saying anything. But what would you say at this point? Once again, you stole a glimpse both at Seungcheol and Joshua and weakly said, "Okay." before Jeonghan, Soonyoung and Mingyu escorted you out. 

[brycelahelalover]

Take care of you

Pairing: Bryce × f!MC (Tesse Sterling)

Author's note: Hi! I know I said I would start posting fics more regularly but then I didn't, so.. sorry:(

Bryce closed the apartment door behind him, having just come back from his morning run. He doesn't get to do much of those anymore since he started his residency, what with him having to be at work at 6 a.m on the dot. But you better believe that whenever he had a day off, he would spend at least 40 minutes jogging around the neighbourhood.

After disposing of his water bottle in the kitchen sink, Bryce headed straight to his and Tesse's in suite bathroom, needing a shower immediately. Cracking the door open slowly as to not make any sound and wake up his girlfriend, he made his way inside carefully, noticing the still drawn blinds and the darkness of the room. After all, it was still 8 in the morning. He didn't exactly expect her to be awake at this hour. At least not in her day off.

After taking a hot and very needed shower, Bryce got out, drying his wet curls, to notice his still sleeping girlfriend. He was quite surprised by this fact since Tesse is usually a really light sleeper. And even thought he tried his best to not wake her up, Bryce thought by the time he got out of the shower she would be awake. Waiting for him with a very strong case of an icy, steely glare for waking her up that early. But he decided to shrug that off to the fact that they had a late celebration at Donahue's with their friends last night.

Deciding that he was too hungry to wait until Tesse woke up, Bryce went to prepare some breakfast for himself. Making up his mind that when she did wake up, he would make her his infamous omelet that she seems to really enjoy and prepare one for himself too so his girlfriend wouldn't have to eat by herself. And because it's chance at a second breakfast, who can say no to that?

After preparing his meal, Bryce settled in front of the living room TV, turning on the kids channel to catch up on his favorite morning cartoon. He really doesn't understand what's going on since he's not home to watch most of the episodes and he's way too tired on the evenings to sit down and watch the replays. But still he trys his best to understand

After watching an episode of the anime and a whole movie which now when he thinks about it, doesn't have any kind of plot, Bryce decided that he was done spending his day alone. Checking his phone, he saw that it was past noon.

"So much for spending the day together.." he murdered under his breath, marching up to their bedroom to wake up his sleeping beauty.

Upon making it there, he found himself in the same atmosphere as earlier. Drawn blinds, darkness throughout the room and soft breathing coming from the bed which he approaches before shaking the body sleeping in it gently.

"Tesse? Come on, babe, wake up. It's already past noon." He whispered lowly as to not spook her.

But alas, his first try was fruitless.

"Come on, sleepy, wake up." He tried again and was met by a soft groan.

"Noo, I'm so tired." Tesse whimpered softly.

"You've been sleeping for the last 10 hours." He chuckled back.

But before Tesse could answer him, a coughing fit wrecked her body. That's when Bryce placed his palm on her forehead, to be met with a surface so hot, it reminded him of that one time when he placed his hand on the stove by mistake, but that's a story for another time..

"Tesse, babe, you're so hot."

"Really? Thank you." She countered back, cheekily.

"No, I mean, you're hotter than usual.."

Trying to sit up, Tesse accidentally knocked the duvet down which caused a gust of coldness to penetrate her body and go down all the way to her soul.

Bryce watched his girlfriend shiver like it was the middle of winter in Boston before he headed to the bathroom, turning the faucet on to fill the bath tub before coming back to the bedroom and carrying Tesse back.

"Babe, you have to give up that blanket at some point.." He said after setting her down.

"But it's so cold. Do I really need to bath?" Tesse said, tucking the blanket more tightly around herself.

"It'll make you feel better."

"Says who?"

"Says the doctor who's going to be taking care of you."

"Well, as a doctor myself, I object."

"Well, first of all, we're not in court and second of all, you know I'm right. You're just too sick and stubborn to see it." He said, throwing her one of his famous smirks.

"Ugh, fine.." she relented before giving up the duvet, crossing her arms and sulking like a petulant child.

Bryce shook his before pecking her pouting lips and then helping her undress.

"Now, in the tub with you."

He then helped her step into the water, taking a bit a shower milk from the bottle to apply to her body.

"You can be really whiny sometimes." He said after a while, breaking the silence.

"Excuse you, I'm sick." Tesse responded, glaring at his smirking face.

"You're proving my point."

"You know for someone this sick, you have lot of sarcasm to throw around." He said to which he was met by an arched brow from Tesse.

After bath full of even more whimpering from Tesse, Bryce helped his girlfriend out of the tub, taking one of the towels to dry her up before carrying her bridal style into the bedroom.

After setting her down, Bryce turned to one of their wardrobe drawers, opening to take a pair of underwear and then taking one Tesse's favorite PJ's. He then helped her dress up before taking her hand and the duvet, which he pushed out of the bathroom earlier, and lead the way the living room.

After tucking Tesse into the couch with the blanket around her, Bryce headed to the kitchen.

"You know how to cook soup?" Replied Tesse with a question of her own.

"How do you feel about some soup?" He asked while opening the fridge.

"I watched a cooking show last week where they made it. I probably still remember the recipe." He answered with a surety only Bryce could master.

"Well, if it's edible, then I'm good with soup." Tesse said cheekily.

"Oh, excuse you. You'll see that my culinary skills are unmatched. And anyway, if I faced any obstacles, there's always the internet." Bryce replied, mocking offense.

After a little bit more than an hour of Bryce struggling to figure out how to cook this darn soup, he presented Tesse with a plat that looks.. quite nice actually, much to her surprise. She really needs to start having faith in her boyfriend's ability to cook.

"Behold, the Bryce special. Soup à la française."

"Are you sure of what you're saying?"

"..No, I'm not sure of what I'm saying. Now, open your mouth so I can feed you."

"You know I can eat by myself, right?" She asked playfully.

"Oh, really? I seem to remember that you were so sick you couldn't go from one room to another by yourself."

"You were the one who carried me. I wasn't exactly going to stop you." She said, happy with herself.

"Still, I started this, I may as well end it. Now open your mouth.."

"Bryce?" Tesse broke the silence after a few spoons.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For taking care of me."

"You know I'll always take of you."

The end

A/N: Hi guys, so you wouldn't believe the amount of trouble this fic gave me but I finaly managed to get it out. Phew. So I hope that you would find it good. And please ignore the read more's place, I know it makes no sense but it was the only way of posting this fic whole. And I hope OH won't take forever to come out.

Tagging: @eleanorbloom @lahamseiroshoe @choicest @anotherbeingsworld @princesslahela

[ikevampeventarchive]

[Translation] IkeVamp Drama CD ~ Napoleon Bonaparte Ver.

This took a very long time to finish but here it is! Napoleon’s Drama CD translation!! We had originally intended to release these every 200 followers, so the other CD translations will be posted as we get them done. 

For those who are unable to buy the physical CD, Cybird has also released the CD as a Story Set in-game as well, along with a stuffed Napoleon avatar accessory. 

Set Sale Info | Napoleon CD Preview

[This is an unofficial work based on fan-translation. Copyright belongs to Cybird.]

Prologue ~ Napoleon Bonaparte ~

0:10 You want to know my name? It’s Napoleon. Napoleon Bonaparte. What? ‘Are you that Napoleon Bonaparte’, you’re asking? I don’t know who you’re talking about, but if you’re referring to the French revolutionary general, then that’s me. 

0:38 Ah, you’re right. If I were truly that soldier from the French Revolution, then there’s no way that I could’ve lived, un-aging, till this era. 

The things I’m about to discuss, do you swear to keep them confidential? Hm. Good answer. 

1:04 First, within this mansion located deep in the woods, 12 men are living here. And with each of them, there is one thing they all have in common. 

That is, they — these, great men who have all left their marks upon history — have all exchanged a contract with the master of this mansion, le Comte de Saint-Germain, and revived into this world. 

1:34 The contents of the contract… that they would become creatures that selfishly live on the blood of others called Vampires. In short, that means that the residents of this mansion are all vampires. 

1:52 ‘Why did they come back to life’, you ask...? That’s because, all of them still have things left undone. 

For example… Vincent. Yes, that famous painter, Vincent van Gogh — his reason was that he wanted to create more paintings. And the physicist, Isaac Newton, because he wanted to continue his research somewhere peaceful and quiet. They all have their own reasons for being here. 

2:28 …. My reason for coming back? My bad. Earlier, I said that all the residents here had made a contract with le Comte, but there is one singular exception. 

I am the only one who has not exchanged a contract with le Comte, and I also have no reason for being at this mansion. Not to mention, once my life had passed, I had no regrets or lingering attachments to this world. 

2:56 One day, I just suddenly found myself here.

Le Comte seems to think that it was because the world regretted the loss of Napoleon Bonaparte, but I don’t think that’s the case. 

…. I think that — for the sake of meeting the one person that I will love, I had returned to life… that is what I think. 

3:25 One day, that person suddenly came from the door that connected to the future, and for only one month until the door opened again, came to reside at this mansion. 

Because of the times we spent together, the times we clashed and the times we smiled together — with this person who possessed such a straightforward strength and pure kindness, before I knew it, I had fallen hopelessly in love with them. 

4:01 Throwing away their prior life in the future and having chosen to stay here, this person is more important to me than anything in the world… and right now, they are my precious lover. 

…. This is the story of a certain day in our life. 

—

An Especially Gentle Morning 

0:00 Soft breathing as birds chirp in the background. 

0:20 Five more… minutes…ngh.... Sheets rustle. — What is it…? Besides that, you need to come… closer. He pulls you to him. 

0:53 Hm… he gives you a quick kiss. Hm…? Ah, sorry. Did I… accidentally do it again?  ‘You don’t even need to guess’... heh, you don’t have to flush so hard, you know.

It’s just my bad morning habit. But well, since it’s only you, it’s fine, isn't it? So from now on, you should get used to it. 

1:40 And anyways… last night, we did things more embarrassing than just this. Though I do remember last night I was the one getting kissed…. 

What, did you forget? … Haha, you’re honestly so terrible at lying. It’s adorable. 

…. Okay, okay, I’ll stop teasing. 

2:18 Ah… as always, your body is so warm and soft.  If I just stay here and hug you tight like this, it feels like I could just fall right back to sleep......

2:40 Yawning. Huh, it’s already this late in the day? Ah, you’re already awake? There’s no helping it, I guess.  In exchange, let’s do it just like the first time we woke up. Alright? He kisses you.

3:11 Heh, good morning.

Ah, come to speak of it, I had a really amazing dream last night. It was a dream where you were always by my side, grinning in that carefree way you always do. And then when I woke up and your face was the first thing I saw — I was really happy. 

3:44 Are you getting shy on me? Hey, don’t curl up and hide your face in the sheets!  If you act so cutely… I won’t be able to help myself from jumping on you again. 

4:00 Hmph… ha…. He kisses you again. Heh, it was a joke, so don’t get so flustered! Ah, but wanting to jump on you was real though. 

4:21 Okay, since I woke up especially early today, and it’s rare that we’re able to spend a languid day like this together, should we head out? 

…. Then come, let’s get ready. 

—

An Especially Glittering Beach Date

0:00 The sound of lapping waves in the background.

0:05 It’s nice that the weather today’s sunny and clear. You mentioned before that you’ve always wanted to go to the beach, right? So I thought that I absolutely had to take you someday. 

… What? Why are you so surprised? There’s no way I’d forget anything that you say. 

0:27 But besides that, since we came all the way out here, let’s dip our feet even if we can’t swim. 

Phew, it feels nice and cold. Everything looks pretty when the water’s calm. C’mon, you too — hurry up and get over here. 

1:00 Water splashing. Are you gonna take off your sandals? If so then I’ll do it for you. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Or is it that you don’t want me to? 

1:22 Haha, you’re so easy to read. Okay, okay, I got it, I’ll take it off properly. 

Yeah, brace your hand on my shoulder like that… raise one of your legs… heh, I’m not tickling you, nunuche; if you laugh that hard you’ll fall over. 

1:52 …. And, we’re good. You put your feet back into the water and wade around. 

See? The cold water feels good. Now that we’re here, let’s walk along the water’s edge for a bit. The two of you begin walking. Be careful not to get your feet trapped in the sand. Your foot sinks into the sand. Did you not listen to what I just said? 

2:26 Guess it can’t be helped. Here, give me your hand. I’ll hold onto you so you won’t fall. 

Your hand… it’s always so small and soft — sort of like a child’s, huh. 

....I said it’s really cute. 

2:58 At any rate, it really is calm and quiet here. Walking here with you, hand in hand, I feel at peace. It’s a bit strange how this makes it feel like those war days during the Revolution were things of the distant past. 

3:24 Ahh, but at that time, I had thought that peaceful days like this would never return. 

The deep blue of the expansive sea, the scent of salt in the breeze, and even the sound of bird cries, it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve last felt these things. 

…. Surely, it would’ve continued to exist like this, even if it was just me who didn’t notice them. 

3:57 The happiness of these ordinary days too, is all because of you. Thank you. He kisses you.

4:12 Now then, we should head home before the sun sets. Besides, I want to hurry up and get you alone. 

—

An Especially Sweet Shower Time 

0:00 Grandfather clock tolls three times and gentle piano music starts playing. 

0:12 Ah, it’s already this time? I guess we played too much today. When I’m with you, time passes in the blink of an eye — so fast that it makes me a bit worried. Hm? 

…. Heh, no, it’s a good thing. 

Whenever I’m with you, no amount of time will be enough? Something like that. 

0:36 Besides that though, the two of us are covered in sand from the sea breeze. It’s probably a good idea to wash off in a shower before heading to our rooms. C’mon, let’s go.

0:55 ‘You can go first,’ you say…

But we’re going to get in together, right? Heh, what are you getting all embarrassed about — after all, I’ve already seen your body many times before. So…. He gets close to you. … I’ll rinse you off. 

And anyways, I don’t want to let you go just yet. 

1:22 Door opens. The faucet turns and water starts to pour down. 

Hey, come closer. You’re covered by a towel so there’s no need to be embarrassed, you know. 

Is the water too hot? … If it’s okay then that’s good. 

1:49 Oi, it’s just rinsing, so move your hands.  He moves closer. Or, can I just undress you just like this? … Haha, just kidding. Come, turn around. I’ll wash your back. 

2:10 I was thinking about this earlier but… your nape… is really pretty, huh. It’s so delicate and unguarded… it makes me want to bite you…. He places a kiss on your neck.

2:30 You jump and back away. Heh, I just gave you a small kiss, you really don’t have to react to strongly. You’re seriously adorable. 

You are… he kisses you… hah, what is it? Do you want me to touch you more? 

Oi, if you give me that kind of look, I really won’t be able to stay calm. He kisses you again. 

3:12 … Your lips… are soft, and warm. Open your mouth more…. I want to see your face when you lose your composure… you’re honestly so precious — I might not be able to go easy on you. 

Ngh— ah, don’t fall down… cling to me tighter. Hmph… he kisses you again and again. 

4:05 Heh… you’re really weak here, huh. I know that much, since I’ve touched you countless times before… 

He sighs. This is bad — I’m gonna get dizzy. He turns off the shower. 

4:32 Let’s go to my room… right now. I’m sorry but, I can’t hold myself back any longer. 

—

An Especially Provocative Bloodsucking 

0:00 Piano music plays. 

0:08 Kissing. I wonder… why does even just kissing you feels good? Hah… more, I want more of you. Can I… touch you more? 

0:40 … Whenever I embrace you, I lose any desire to let you go. You have no idea how much I always want you, do you? The only thing that I want… is always, and only, you. He kisses you again and again. 

1:12 This is bad… if this keeps up, I won’t be able to control myself…. 

1:20 .... Oi, don’t tell me I can bite you so casually. If you’re so defenseless…. Sheets rustle. 

What’s wrong? Suddenly moving like that — hm… getting a kiss from you is pretty rare. 

‘I want you to take me, just like this’.... 

1:46 Hah… are you seriously okay with this? I’ll apologize in advance but, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be gentle. 

…. Lower your blouse more and show me your neck. He bites you. 

2:16 ‘I’ve been waiting for this’ — there’s no way you’ve been waiting for something like this? The one who let their guard down… is you. He bites you again. 

2:36 Ah… seriously… why is it that your blood is this sweet? I’m a bit worried… that the other guys will try to take you away. 

Does it hurt? … It feels good? Me too. It feels… endlessly good. So much so that I can’t have any blood besides yours. 

3:14 Do you know what sort of face you’re making right now… ? A face that’s both adorable… and tantalizing. I want to claim you… even deeper. 

Come closer. Surrender it all to me. Your body, your heart — even your destiny.

—

An Especially Gentle Good-Night

0:00 Piano music plays.

0:06 Sheets rustle. It’s already nighttime? A little longer and today will also come to an end, huh. What’s wrong, you can’t sleep? 

‘It was fun,’ you say? …. Yeah, I agree. The time I spend with you always passes by in the blink of an eye. 

But, when it turns to tomorrow, I will no longer be able to see the you of today. Isn’t it strange to think like that? Things that never change — there are no such things like that. So, I keep wanting to carve my existence, to leave some sort of proof with you. 

1:02 So that once tomorrow comes — no even after that — forevermore, there is evidence that proves you are mine and mine alone. Because of that, I’m sorry. You’re too dear to me, and I was too rough. But also, you were seriously sexy, before. 

1:33 It wasn’t just me though, you could barely stand it either, could you? Sheets rustling. 

Hey, don’t turn around, now. Face me? Geez, now isn’t really the time to be embarrassed, you know. 

1:56 Haha, okay, I got it. It’s fine if you want to stay like that. He scoots closer. But let me hug you like this. 

2:08 Ah, come to think of it, tonight is a crescent moon. The night I met you… it was also this moon…. 

What? … You’re surprised that I remember the day we met? Of course. Even now, I can remember like it was yesterday. 

2:40 Your figure when you came stumbling into the mansion through that entrance… I was definitely surprised. I couldn’t believe that someone other than a vampire had came through those doors. 

Before those guys could find you, I had to save you somehow, I had to try and protect you somehow, was what I thought. I wonder why…. 

I felt that instinct so strongly in that moment. 

3:16 When I met your eyes as you looked back, I remember that it was like my heart suddenly started racing. I was probably drawn to you from the first moment we met. How mysterious. 

Even though we were born in different eras and different places, it feels like I’ve always been waiting for you. 

3:45 To me, it seems like our meeting was not just mere chance, but clearly fate. 

… If it means the same thing to you, I’d be pretty happy. 

4:09 …. Heh, talking about this sort of thing is always embarrassing, huh. You turn over. What’s with that happy smile? 

4:21 C’mon, it’s getting late so we should hurry and get to sleep. Here. Arm pillow. 

Hah, if I keep patting your head like this… I’ll probably fall asleep just like that. 

…. You’re filled with happiness? Yeah… me too. When we’re together, just like this, I’m at my happiest. 

4:55 So, let’s stay like this for the rest of the night. Let me sleep until morning, with you in my arms. 

Quietly. When I can feel your warmth like this… I feel at ease…. 

Good night… you too, rest well…. 

5:25 He kisses you, softly. I love you….. Now and forevermore, only you…. 

—

Ending ~ To The Especially Beloved You ~ 

0:00 More piano music.

0:05 Night. Inside my silent room, where only the sound of wind gently blowing can be heard. As I look at my precious lover, sleeping within my arms, I think — that I want to always protect this sleeping face, and that surely, I was born for the sake of meeting you.

0:36 If I said this out loud, I wonder if you’ll smile that flustered smile again? 

The one I think of when a day is over and I close my eyes, the first one I want to see when I open them in the morning, is only you. 

And me, who was living like a soldier — who lost many precious comrades to a grand ideal, who did many things that I cannot take back no matter how much I yearned to or how much I regretted them. 

Therefore, not knowing why I was called to the mansion, nor why I alone continued to survive… I merely just passed my days at the mansion with that confusion. 

1:35 And then, I met you. 

If I think back on it, many things have happened since then. We laughed a lot, and went to many places, and even fought at times. Before I knew it, seeing your innocent smile would lighten the regrets and doubts that weighed on my shoulders. 

2:05 And you told me that there are no wars in the future, but only peaceful days. 

I can’t say for sure if what I did was the right thing to do, but because of you, I now know that those actions helped bring forth a peaceful world. 

You said that I had saved you, but the one who was saved was actually me. 

2:46 Since meeting you, I was able to take back something precious that I had forgotten. The brilliance of the morning, the deep blue of the sea, the color of flowers as well. With you, I was able to feel the world again. 

3:09 To me, who knew nothing beyond battle, you taught me how to live again. It was only you. 

I, who had nothing, you gave me something that I could once again yearn to protect. 

Of course, there is no way I’ll be able to forget my old comrades. I will always shoulder their hearts and live on. In this way, I will continue to live with you in this world. 

3:49 No matter what hardships we face, as long as it’s the two of us, I know we can overcome all of it. Even if one day you come to long for your old life, I want you to remember this. 

No matter what happens… I am always by your side. 

4:20 Through bitterness and through pain… I will carry those burdens with you. 

That’s why — please stay by my side. I swear I will make you happy. 

Thank you for appearing in front of me. I love you. 

And for many years to come, I’ll be spending them by your side. 

—

Cast Talk

Note: This section is part summary, part translation instead of a direct transcript like the past sections. 

Hello, this is Napoleon’s VA, Nobunaga Shimazaki. Thank you everyone for listening to this CD. 

It seems like there’s a topic theme this time for the cast talk. I’ll be going through them one at a time. 

First off, my impressions for today. My impressions of the recording — wait but first of all, Napoleon, it’s been a long time since I’ve played him, so I was hit with this ‘as expected he’s this cool and charismatic, strong soldier character’ sort of feeling all over again during the recording. 

Kind of like, ah how cool, he doesn’t seem like the type to be swayed easily — this kind of impression came to be when I was shopping at a convenience store. 

And then I thought to myself that I had to try hard and act out such a cool character, so it became sort of like ‘wow Napoleon is such a cool guy! Uwah I’m gonna try my best, I have to try my best! Uwahh’  haha. That was the strong impression I had of him. 

Finally today, I was able to show a cool Napoleon, so I’m really happy. Because of that, my mood is very fluffy and buoyant right now, haha. 

Okay, the second one is, if I had an eternity like a vampire, what would I want to do? 

Hmm well, I mean… would I really be the right fit for that, you know? It sounds a bit tiresome…. Of course, there are people suited to it, for example if you were Napoleon’s beloved person then being together forever would be nice, but… well — 

Life is fun because it’s limited. It’s a similar sort of thing to how because work is busy, the breaks become more fun, I think. If all I had was time… I think it would become pretty draining — 

But well, if I had an eternity, if I could do anything, then I think I would try to create a world? Or a star, or something like that. 

I can’t make, like, a real brand name or anything, but maybe something like creating a world as I like it, sort of like playing God. I think if I can do that then that would be enough fun for me, like there would be plenty of things to do with just that — things that I can and can’t do with my own creations and such. Yup, something like that. 

Third is, like the revolutionary Napoleon, is there anything you want to revolutionize? 

Something I want to revolutionize?! Is there anything like that? Something I want to revolutionize…. Uhhhhh, recently I’ve been thinking about how it would nice if things could be more comfortable for me, but there’s nothing that I’d say I want to revolutionize. 

I don’t think there’s much of a revolutionary in me? When doing something or starting something determination would overflow and I’d be like “I’ll accomplish this and this” or “I’ll write this” or “I’ll kill this” and the like. But to revolutionize something I think it would have to start from some dissatisfaction with the current era and the desire to change, but I don’t really think I have anything I’m dissatisfied with about the current era? 

How to say it, there are things I wonder about like how something would become, or how something would end up, or how it would be nice if things turned out this way, and such, but would you call that the heart of a revolutionary? 

Of course I have dreams and aspirations and this and that that I want to do in the future, but I don’t think there’s anything that I want to change. Mmhm… taking is easy is the best way. 

Last of all, to everyone who’s listening to this, please talk about Napoleon’s charming points. 

Well, I mean, everyone who had gone out and bought this volume are people who love Napoleon, right? Thank you very much! 

But, it’s really hard to get CDs nowadays, right? Times are a bit rough financially lately, right?? Seriously, thank you very much!!

As such, all the listeners probably surely know Napoleon’s charm better than I do, ahaha. But in my opinion, even though he’s a smart person, my favorite thing is that he’s a very steady, cool unwavering person. That sort of stead person, and then once he falls in love, you’re able to see those wavering eyes. It’s not particularly a gap (moe) per se, but it may be pretty charming — the difference between his usual coolness and his heart, and because of that, it’s a humanizing aspect. It makes you think that he’s a very captivating person, is what I think. 

Hm, but when you compare the historical Napoleon to the game, you can gain various ideas that take flight, and then you study history and it’s like killing two birds, three birds, six birds with one stone. IkeVamp as a game is a bit different, right? So when you play the game and compare them, there are things like “oh he killed people!!”, and in this way, I hope you continue to enjoy IkeVamp! 

This has been Nobunaga Shimazaki! Thank you very much!!

—

[anonsally]

Days 79-82 of COVID-19 shelter-in-place

These have been four very intense days both globally and personally. This admittedly long post will focus more (but not exclusively) on the personal side of that.

Day 79 was Wednesday. I hadn’t had enough sleep, but I got up at a reasonable hour because I needed a ballet class. Before class started, I got a call from the medical center for scheduling a procedure I need to have done. That will be in 2 weeks, contingent on me testing negative for COVID-19 four days beforehand. I’m anxious about the procedure but will be glad to get it over with after several months of worry. Anyway, ballet class was good for calming me down. 

It was hot out. I did my parents’ grocery shopping (and bought a few things for us) and then had a nice conversation with my dad when I dropped off his groceries. We talked about the state of the world. He told me about a city that had literally fired its entire police department and started over... which is what we probably need on a national level, with very few exceptions. 

I refueled the car on the way home and got a predictably late start on my work day. Wife got two more job interviews scheduled at very different companies. I took a walk, spotting another Steller’s jay at the bird feeders. The jays are so much larger than the little birds who frequent the feeders!

I then went to try to buy milk, but the tiny independent market had closed early to enable the employees to get home before curfew. So I had to go to Trader Joe’s instead. By the time I got home I was somewhat demotivated about food prep, but luckily Wife pulled herself together and scrambled me an egg. I didn’t manage to get to bed till 1am, which was at least an hour later than I’d intended, but Wife was still up at 4am!

Day 80. I forced myself to get up at 8:30 since I knew I would need to go to bed early that night. I arranged to (video-)meet with my boss at 12:30. I started work around 11am or so and got a few thing done. The meeting with my boss was good--partly social, discussing how we were coping with the situation and working from home, what we missed about the office, and such, but we also talked about what I’ve been working on. She reminded me that the study section reviewing my grant application will be meeting this month, so I will have to remember to check my scores.

Afterwards we had a meeting with a few other coworkers, which was fairly productive. I had a short “coffee break” video call with a colleague, too. The county-wide curfew was lifted a day early.

After work, I took a walk in a direction I hadn’t gone in a while. Was heartened to see Black Lives Matter signs even in cul-de-sacs in a wealthy, mainly white neighborhood. I picked up takeout for dinner, and did a bunch of Adulting in the early evening, including preparing for the next morning. I was in bed by 10:45pm.

Day 81. My alarm got me up at 5am, and we left at 6am. We got to the medical center on time at 7am and I went in (Wife was not allowed to accompany me, but had to be there to drive me home; there was a separate room across the street for visitors to wait in, which was good because it was suddenly very cold outside). Initially, there was a lot of waiting, during which I did a little bit of yoga and dancing as I knew I would not be able to move much for the rest of the day. I was there for a diagnostic procedure involving a needle (for data privacy reasons I won’t get more specific here; it’s unrelated to the procedure I’m having in 2 weeks), which required me to remain horizontal for 4 hours afterwards, at least according to the information they’d given me beforehand. I had to be fasting from midnight the night before: no food or drink, including water.

Eventually I was wheeled down to the ultrasound department, where the doctor who planned to do the procedure met me and the radiologists. However, when they looked at the images, there were a lot of vessels around. The doctor did not feel confident that she could do the procedure based on a mark on my skin without accidentally hitting a blood vessel. So she asked the radiologists to do it as an ultrasound-guided procedure, which would be safer since they would be able to see what they were doing on the ultrasound. This procedure was done with only local anaesthetic. Mostly I couldn’t feel what was going on, and it was supposed to be very quick, but unfortunately, the resident had a lot of trouble--the senior radiologist was trying to guide him through doing, but he couldn’t get the needle positioned quite right, and in the end the senior radiologist had to do it herself. It was pretty uncomfortable and there were some moments where it was quite painful. I tried to breathe deeply and stay relaxed, but it was hard. When they finally got it to work, it was over pretty quickly. I was relieved. It was about 11am by then.

However, I had to spend an hour in a large recovery room with many other patients, while my blood pressure and pulse were monitored. I had expected to have the procedure done upstairs in the room where I’d started, where I had left all my stuff. They very kindly sent someone up to retrieve my phone for me so I could at least text Wife and my parents so they would know the worst of it was over. 

After an hour I was wheeled upstairs and transferred from the gurney to a bed (this took 3 people as I was not allowed to stand up yet) for more monitoring. They drew my blood to test my blood counts; I was going to be allowed to leave after only 2 hours of bed rest if the counts were stable. After the 2 hours, I was allowed to get up and use the bathroom (and grab the crossword puzzles from my backpack to work on), and then I continued resting while waiting first for the blood counts, which finally came back fine, and then for the discharge papers, which took an unreasonably long time. Around 2pm the nurse finally allowed me to have some ice--hoorah! (I was parched. I normally drink at least 2 liters of water per day.) At 2:40pm I was cleared to leave; I texted Wife, who went to get the car and picked me up at the entrance to the hospital at about 3pm. 

Literally every single person on the hospital staff was kind and friendly. They all introduced themselves to me by name, including the people whose job it was to simply wheel me from one place to another, and they all seemed to be invested in my well-being. When I was being wheeled through the hallway, whenever we passed anyone else who worked there they smiled and said hello both to me and to the person in charge of transporting me. It seemed like everyone working really considered themselves a team, with respect for everyone regardless of place in the hospital hierarchy. Since, like all patients during this pandemic, I was there alone and a bit anxious, it made the experience much less unpleasant than it could have been.  

I spent 8 hours in the hospital, so I really hope I didn’t catch COVID-19, but the procedures seemed pretty good. I was wearing a mask almost all the time (except in the room where I was waiting at the beginning and end, which was essentially private), as were all the employees, and everyone was sanitising their hands every time they entered or exited a room or touched any equipment. I also didn’t spend the whole time with any one person. So, hopefully it was safe. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon vedging out at home, rehydrating, and finally eating, and I went to bed earlier than usual though later than I expected, around 12:15am.

Day 82. I wanted to try to get a lot of sleep so my body could heal from yesterday’s ordeal, so today I slept till about 10am. The wound from the procedure is tender to the touch and there’s a small bruise near it, but otherwise I’m not in pain from it. Except my ankle is in more pain than it’s been in for ages, and I have no idea why. Maybe I slept on it funny? Or maybe it’s an aftereffect of the weird position I had to hold during the procedure.

I think my joy at getting to eat cereal this morning was perhaps a bit over-the-top!

Wife had a bad headache today, likely caused by neck tension from all the driving yesterday. I am still pretty tired today, despite all the sleep, but I suppose that’s to be expected.

We went to the farmers’ market and stumbled upon a socially-distanced, family-friendly protest. A friend of mine was there with her kids, but I didn’t see her. We bought our produce--though I had to make an extra trip back to the car to drop off my purchases, as I am not supposed to lift anything heavy today. The stand with the curried fish had run out, but they still had some uncooked prepped fish, so we bought that and they explained how to steam it at home. We came home and cooked the fish and ate it for lunch; it was just as good as it would’ve been if they’d cooked it. Phew! Other than that we’ve been relaxing at home, though Wife did gather her energy and go for a run, which has helped to relieve her headache a little (as has the bath she took afterwards, and the painkillers she took). 

I’m hoping to feel up to taking a dance class (online) tomorrow. 

[sophygurl]

I love the question memes and my fave kind is the kind @pixiedane​ just tagged me in (thank you!). [Also sidenote: ILU @theawkwardterrier​ for always tagging me in the tagging memes but JSYK I won’t be doing the latest one because I’m just not really a picture person so I don’t really have a lot of pictures saved and the idea of trying to use whatever weird random stuff I might have saved to describe myself would just not work. But you’re the best and I’ll catch ya on the next one!]

The rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

1. What’s the meaning of your name? Does it suit you?

Rosemary doesn’t seem to have a specific meaning, although of course it’s an herb, and Rosemary is for remembrance, which is hilarious given my memory problems. Mary means bitter, so some name meaning sites say the meaning of my name is “bitter rose” which I guess is a nice combo of sweet and sad, which I would not really classify myself as. So, no, the various meanings of my name do not suit me.

The name itself? Does. I love my name, and while most people can’t be bothered with a 3 syllable name in casual conversation, my preference is to be called Rosemary and not Rose. Rose does not feel like me.

2. What’s a movie you never get tired of?

A lot of movies fit under this category, but the movie I have probably seen the most amount of times and can still watch either in full or in chunks and still enjoy every single second of no matter what is Dirty Dancing. 

3. Your favourite movie soundtrack?

Are we talking soundtrack as in collection of songs used in the movie and put into an album, or as in score for the movie, or?

Because nothing but nothing beats the Star Wars scores for me. Well, original and prequels and TFA anyway - the last two have diverged quite a bit which has felt odd to me but whatever. [Second place would be the scores for the 70/s80s Superman movies - also John Williams of course]

If collection of songs - then we’re back to Dirty Dancing.

Although if we’re considering soundtracks of musicals, then I’m gonna be reduced to flailing and just naming half a dozen or so, so we’ll just pretend that’s not part of the question. 

4. How would you describe your personal style?

Accidental? I pretty much just buy things that I find interesting, and then put things together that seem interesting to me, and then end up with some pretty ... interesting outfits. One of my roommates actually described my look yesterday as “crazy” if that tells you anything.

Think colors that don’t quite match, conflicting patterns, stripey socks, chunky jewelry, and then at times like now at the end of winter when I haven’t shaved my head in awhile - short floppy hair that is sticking up in all directions that I swear I tried to tame but it just doesn’t take. 

5. Name a fictional crush.

Spike from Buffy. Also Buffy from Buffy. And put them together? Double crush. 

6. What’s your motto?

I don’t really have a motto, per se, but I do have a mantra, which is: love, peace, joy, hope. Those are the qualities I try to embody, embrace, spread, whatever. All four are of equal importance to me. 

7. Are you a gamer?

If by gamer, you mean obsessively playing the Sims, then yes. But most people who consider themselves gamers would probably say no.

8. Would you rather spend time on a secluded beach or at a fancy cocktail party?

How about a fancy cocktail party on a secluded beach? Too much sand in the drinks, never mind.

Ah, these are both problematic for me. I don’t do so well with being completely alone, especially without some kind of distraction or diversion. I guess if I had a book with me on the beach, I’d be okay for a little while, but I’d also get uncomfortable super fast if there wasn’t, like, a comfy sofa or something to recline on. 

And I also don’t do well with fancy, or come to think of it with cocktails since I can’t drink any more with the meds I have to take. 

But, if I had to choose, I’d probably pick the party. I’d be dressed inappropriately (probably something with loud colors and polka dots?), and sitting in the corner mostly people watching, and I’d get overwhelmed and head home early, but still. 

9. Recommend a television series.

oohhhoooomygods just ONE?

I’ve rec’d this one many times, but since it just came back for season two last night (I haven’t watched the ep yet - it’s next on my list), I’m gonna recommend Imposters to you all again.

Imposters is a lil show with a small but dedicated fandom on Bravo. 

It stars Inbar Lavi (Prison Break, The Last Ship) as a con woman and Rob Heaps (Home Fires, And Then There Were None), Parker Young (Arrow, Suburgatory), and  Marianne Rendón (Mapplethorpe) as three of the people who she has swindled. Additionally, Brian Benben (Private Practice, Dream On), Stephen Bishop (Being Mary Jane), Chastity Dotson (Pitch, Veronica Mars), and Denise Dowd (Secrets and Lies, Beverly Hills 90210) star. 

The story of season one is that these three scorned exes find one another and begin a quest to find the woman they all alternately view as their loving spouse and the cruel con who stole everything from them. Along the way, they learn some cons of their own, gain back some of their confidence, and of course discover the power of friendship. 

There are many twists and turns along the way which I won’t spoil for anyone who wants to watch season 1 for themselves, but it involves cons within cons within cons and unlikely teammates. 

Also - Uma Thurman as a hitwoman.

As the finale of season one had our three scorned exes riding off together into the sunset, I am very excited to see where season two leads us. Seriously, you have to watch this show. 

[But if I may very quickly rec some of my other underwatched faves: 12 Monkeys, Colony, Counterpart, Ghosted, Insecure, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, Madam Secretary, People of Earth, Scream, Speechless, Timeless, UnREAL,You’re the Worst - ask me about my underwatched faves plz.]

10. Do you have any phobias?

Boy howdy, do I! I have OCD, which often comes with phobias as part of the anxiety which leads to some of the obsessive compulsions. [FELLOW PHOBES MIGHT WANNA SKIP THIS PART - PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.]

I have a slight germ phobia which I mostly don’t go deep into because I don’t have the energy to do what I’d need to do to feel better about it so I just make myself not-think about it really hard, but the underlying anxiety is Still There. 

This is especially true of what I call “poop germs” - which is anything that has ever been inside of a bathroom ever. This makes, you know, having to use bathrooms very upsetting and problematic for me, so again, I deploy my aggressive pretending it’s not there as much as I can, but poop germs can cause me to break down into tears on a bad day. Fun times!

I’m also an emetophobe, which means I’m terrified of throwing up - a fun little phobia to have when you have constant low-grade nausea which occasionally flares up to higher-grade, lemme tell ya.

Another biggie is infestation of any kind - so any kind of insect or small animal that comes into my home. Like, I am absolutely fine seeing these critters outside where they belong - I might even oooh and aaah. But the second I see one INSIDE - I’m screaming bloody murder and waking up the entire apartment complex. 

I’ve worked real hard at being less scared of the harmless single bugs that enter a home, especially the kind that EAT other bugs - so for example I am perfectly fine with spiders (being obsessed with Charlotte’s Web as a kid helps), and even centipedes after the initial screaming over how creepy they look is done. And I’ve gotten where I look insects up on websites that identify bugs and talk about them in positive/scientific ways and have stopped panicking about certain bugs and their larvae now as I can tell which ones are and aren’t actually harmful or prone to infestation. BUT. I’m still prolly gonna scream when I initially see them because eaauughhss. 

Those are the main ones, but the fun thing about OCD is that new ones develop all the time if you don’t stay vigilant about letting those obsessive thoughts do their thang, so I try real hard to ignore those news segments and articles about bringing black lights into hotel rooms and about all of the horrible ways people are committing violent crimes these days and other terrifying and/or gross things that might creep their ways into my fear center. 

11. What’s your rarest rarepair?

Oh, good question. I don’t tend to have rarepairs because the way I fandom is deep immersion into canon and not necessarily delving into fanon/fanfic. So even my non-canon ships tend to be ones that the canon itself at least played with a little bit or that the fandom-at-large has talked about enough that I start to see it. lol

I’m having trouble even thinking about a ship I have that could be classified as rare? It would probably be something involving Spike because I ship that fool with pretty much everyone he’s ever shared screentime with because he is just so yummy, and because Marsters was just really good about getting his character to bring interesting things out of whatever characters he was interacting with, and because he’s clearly so omnisexual that he just oozes chemistry with everyone he meets, but like. I’m also definitely not the only one who sees all that about him and also is shipping him left right and center. So. I’ll just toss out Spike/Harmony because I’ve never heard of anyone else who actually liked them together ha!

Phew! That was fun. I hope all of you all who I end up tagging have as much fun with my questions (and if not, feel free to use some of pixie’s).

My questions:

What is your #mood rn?

Tell me the sweetest childhood memory you can think of.

Favorite mythological/fantastical animal/creature.

What is your favorite mode of storytelling - for example, books, movies, TV shows, graphic novels, video games, etc. - and why do you think that’s your fave form?

Star Trek, Star Wars, or Starlord? (this is not a serious question and you may feel free to expound upon all three if you wish)

Favorite type of geographical location to visit, and is it different from where you prefer to live?

Name a character that you love, but who you would probably hate in real life.

Reboots, renewals, and revivals. Are they ruining your childhood or do you love ‘em?

Tell me about your favorite cookie (or other sweet if you don’t care for cookies).

If there is one thing people could just atomatically know about you upon meeting you that would make socializing with you better or easier, what would it be?

A lot of stories based on comics posit the theory that eventually humanity will evolve into at least some humans developing super powers. Suppose this started happening today - what would the results be, do you think?

Tagging:

(and of course, please consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this - I’d tag all of you if I could but I try and just pick folks I think enjoy doing these. if I’m ever wrong - please feel free and ignore the tag. additionally - please remember to tag ME so I can see your responses! also, feel free to re-tag me in this one since the questions differ and you all know how much I love to talk about myself.)

@absolutelyiris, @dianebluegreen, @c-l-ford, @theawkwardterrier, @the-invisible-queer, @brokenyellowcrayons, @knitmeapony, @fatherjerusalem, @swordsandparasols, @dmphelps, @nightlocktime

[datingdiaries123]

Number 14: The one with the different lifestyle

So this post is being called ‘Number 14′. Now, these are not in order anymore, which will annoy those of you are slightly OCD about these types of things being chronological. But the reason being, this one is the most recent date, and is most fresh in my mind. I thought writing it now would mean I don’t miss anything out, so here goes….

It’s January, probably my least favourite month of the year when the weather is dark, cold, often wet and windy, and it’s that weird time after Christmas and before spring. This January is different, in fact it’s probably worse, as I have been on crutches for the past month as I’m recovering from a foot operation. So getting out and about has not been easy (relying on others for lifts), I’ve been in pain and it’s not the best time to meet the man of my dreams (well, probably not). I am also sporting the latest in fashion accessories, a big black support boot. So now you see how un-sexy this all sounds, I have been looking after myself and not doing any dating.

In the week that everyone went back to work I went back onto internet dating. I was working from home now and able to walk with the boot, so if I did happen to meet anyone decent, there’s a chance I can at least meet up with them. I got matched with someone local who only lives a few miles away. We chatted for a few days and then he asked if I’d like to meet up. He knew my boot situation and didn’t seem bothered, so I thought ‘why not’ and we set a date for later on in the week. He hadn’t told me that much about him at this point, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it gives you more to talk about when you meet them face to face. The day of the date came and he said I could pick where to meet. I opted for a local pub, as I can’t drive yet due to my foot, so it wouldn’t be too far for either of us to travel (and easy for me to get home again if it turned out to be a disaster date!) 

I booked my taxi and ended up arriving at the pub early. This was fine, at least I’ll have none of the ‘Oh god, which one is he?’ moments walking in…. he can spot me and come over to me! I got us a table and sent him a message. It didn’t show as ‘delivered’ so looked like his phone was off. Hmm, this wasn’t a good sign. I waited at the table, getting more and more anxious, hoping that he’d suddenly appear. It was now 12 minutes after the meeting time. At this point I was getting concerned that he had done a runner and wasn’t going to turn up. Then my phone started ringing - it was him! He’d got lost (don’t know how, he had sat nav) and was about 2 miles away, in the wrong direction. I sent him my exact location on my phone and he said he’d be a few minutes. Phew, at least I knew he hadn’t bailed on me! I got the first drinks in and waited at the table. 

Sure enough, a few minutes later he turned up. He looked exactly like his photos (phew) but felt shorter than I expected, probably as I was wearing the big boot which has a platform wedge underneath which makes me rather giant like!! We had plenty in common, he was an electrician and also owned a few properties so loved a bit of DIY (like me - the DIY part, not the properties!). He told me all about his life growing up, travelling and holidays, the usual conversations. He asked me if I had kids and I said I didn’t, just got my dog. Then he said he has 4. I wasn’t expecting that! He hadn’t mentioned the kids before now, not that it’s a deal breaker. Their ages ranged from 2 to 18. He told me about them all and the mums (some were good and some were not so nice). It was an eye opener but still, not a deal breaker. I just don’t know if he’d have much spare time compared to me. The date went well and there were no awkward silences or weird conversations, all good so far. He asked me if I’d eaten, which I hadn’t. We ended up having pub food, which as most of you will know, it is rare I eat on a first date - so this was positive! Things seemed to be going well but sometimes you can’t tell if they like you, like fancy you. He was a really good looking man, the usual type I go for, dark hair (a bit of grey), stubble, nice eyes and teeth, muscular….tick boxes so far! My only negative at this point was he was my height (yes I know that’s mega picky but I do like it when they’re taller as I’m 5ft 10″ and I like to wear heels when I go out) and he had a really strong Yorkshire accent (which I can deal with, but it’s a bit much sometimes).

The date came to an end and we walked out of the pub together. I was going to book my taxi at this point but he offered me a lift home. Okay then, it’s only round the corner and he seemed decent, so I accepted. I got him to drop me off a few doors down and thanked him for the lift. There was no sign of a kiss so I got out and it was all fine. Off he went and I got a text later on saying he really enjoyed the date and would I like him to cook me tea in the next few days. I thought that sounded like a good opportunity to get to know him a bit better so I agreed. He invited me to his but said he was equally happy to cook at mine (as he knows I can’t drive to him). I decided to go to his, as 1. I hadn’t had time to clean/vac the house and 2. Thought it would be good to see where he lives and have a nosy at his pad! (He wasn’t being invited to mine yet!!)

He kindly picked me up on my street and we drove to his. It was literally 4 minutes down the road so not far at all. It was a very nice area and where people with money live. We went in and it was very luxurious - from the carpets, to the wallpaper, to the furniture. I asked him if he’d decorated it and he said he had - he had picked all the colours and furniture etc. (I was wondering if it was an ex, as the lampshades were glass chandeliers with matching lamps in the corners of some rooms. He gave me a little tour as I was interested to see what he’d been doing to it (he moved in a few years ago and has been renovating it and built an extra staircase plus top floor). It all looked really fancy and the layout was good, compared to what it was like when he bought it. I was impressed with his DIY skills but not so much with the velvet walls in his bedroom. Not my taste at all - very Footballer’s Wives! I made a joke about his watch collection, as he had about 10, all lined up on these special display stands. He said I better not mug him….. my response was that one watch is enough…. then he said they’re worth a grand each…..!!! I have no idea about watches and brands so was pretty shocked to hear that. Eeeeeek, around 10 grands’ worth of watches just in one room, very flash. (For reference, my watch cost less than £100 and isn’t flash at all, just practical!).

Anyway, I sat in the kitchen whilst he cooked us tea. He’d done all that himself too and it was a nice looking room - cream gloss cabinets and wooden worktops, looked very smart. I couldn’t help but notice that he had a corner full of vitamin containers. I asked about them and what they were all for. Turns out, he’s into his healthy eating in a major (obsessive?) way. He will only buy certain brands and has a serious thing about pesticides in food. How on earth could we go for a meal or go to someone’s house and it not be weird and awkward?! We went into a deep conversation about the pesticides in foods over dinner (which was lovely, salmon and asparagus, very tasty, for those who were wondering). I was impressed with his cooking skills but asked where the carbs were….! He said he avoids cards where possible and his body is in ketosis, which I now understand a bit better, from him. Basically, its a high-fat, low-carb diet and it sounds really strict. By reducing carbs, it puts your body into a metabolic state called ketosis. One thing I must not forget to mention at this point is our cutlery. He gave me silver cutlery but had wooden cutlery himself. Of course I had to ask why….! Then I opened a whole can of worms - it’s due to him not wanting to put metal into his body - this was healthy eating to the extreme! “It’s not like you’re digesting the metal, its only going in your mouth temporarily whilst you eat….” why I am even explaining this fact?! We had a conversation about this that lasted far too long and went round and round in circles. I see his point but isn’t this a bit ridiculous? And I noticed that he used metal cutlery in the pub the other night…. But apparently that’s due to him not wanting me to think he’s weird. Oh okay then…..! (I just do right now).

After tea we sat down and chatted some more. I couldn’t help but notice how plush the living room was. It had a huge corner settee which could easily seat 8 people, leather look walls, velvety curtains, a shaggy rug with sparkly bits in, chandeliers which I mentioned earlier, mirrors with sparkly frames and picture frames which matched. The carpet was dark grey and the other furnishings were either black or dark grey. I had in the back of my mind that my dog could never visit here - he is white and moults like crazy, it would be a nightmare! It didn’t feel like the sort of living room where I felt comfortable. I mean, yes the settee was comfy, but I wouldn’t have felt right putting my feet up after a busy day, or having a drink and accidentally spilling something. Or having a dog there…..! It felt too ‘perfect’ and not comfy and ‘lived in’, if that makes sense. At mine I have throws in every room, dog beds and blankets, trinkets and personal items out and on display, and no blingy things that I can think of! It was getting late. He offered to give me a lift home which was very kind, so I nipped to the loo before we set off. This whole time he had been a complete gentleman, I can’t fault him there. 

The bathroom was something else!!! The floor had glittery bits in the tiles, the loo seat had diamantes set into it (think mega blingy, almost chavvy) and the mirrors were the same style as the living room - big and blingy edging. Even the soap dispenser and toothbrush holder had diamantes on, it was diamante overload!! I commented on the loo seat when I went back in and he found it funny. He said he picked it all himself and likes ‘a bit of bling’. Well yes, that was certainly true! As we were leaving I noticed a photo of him on a huge yacht - turns out, he only owns it! I’m talking one that you could have a party on board, with like 20+ people!! I should add at this point that he also owns multiple properties, both in the UK and abroad. His life is SO different to mine. His is so luxurious and mine just isn’t!! I am easily pleased by the little things like walking my dog, crafting activities and things that’s aren’t ‘look at me’ blingy activities. And our houses are nothing like each other. Ultimately, I couldn’t see him ever living with me, or me living with him. So after that second date we parted company. Funnily enough, he also agreed we weren’t compatible. He was looking for a ‘princess’ type girl and that will never be me! So here I am, back at square one, my old friend. The comfort of being alone and not having to deal with someone else, but the loneliness of being on my own at this time of year. And so the search continues….