#pickles is my fav and he calling himself mommy

[tired-n-sleepy]

Just watched the movie, just gonna say that all the nickels is gonna keep me alive for a long time

[rookiesbookies]

So Im on a minor Soap obsession (Gaz obsession starts when @shotmrmiller posts about him, check out their Needs series bc 🤤) and by minor I mean major bc he and Gaz are my favs.

So i was like… what is Sergeant MacTavish met Captain MecTavish and his wife. Like HOW WOULD THAT GO???

Well dont fret bc I have an answer.

Under the cut

Yall can ignore this part it in italics bc doesnt mean anything but this is just my hc ig? But they dont change anything for what I wrote:

I feel like this woman is the definition of slim thick. She has the nicest birthing hips, a decently small sized waist, busty chest, a nice ass, and the thickest thighs. She has nice calves and is the definition of all natural. There isn’t a fake piece to her. She’s like 5’4” to the Captain, who stands behind her like a giant scary shadow.

I feel like she’s American and they bonded over both “hating” the brits.

She definitely has a size kink. Like has to.

She’s fiery. Like “my husband said no pickle,” type. The Captain knows if his wife goes “you need to handle it,” there’s a problem because there isn’t anything she won't take on. So it’s probably some douches asking to talk to her husband about buying a car or some shit.

Only part that kinda sticks is that I feel like she worked in intelligence? Idk

The good stuff:

The Captain sees Simon and pulls him into the biggest bear hug you’ve ever seen. Simon’s eyes are wide at the size of his once more nimble companion. His wife standing to the side shaking her head. No one knows who this strange lady is yet.

Price shakes his hand. Gaz is gawking at the size of this man, stating something like, “he’s the lumberjack and the whole forest.”

Sergeant Soap, out of habit started flirting with his wife from the future. The woman leans back against the counter top, sipping a water as the young lad flirts with her mercilessly.

“I’m almost old enough to be your mom.”

“I’ll just call you mommy.”

You get the point. Soap is basically purring at this lady as the Captain walks back over to her and wraps his arm around her hips, giving her a peck on the lips and Soap’s mouth falls open for the second time in a row.

Not only was he now the definition of manliness but he has the hottest woman he’s ever seen for a wife.

“That’s our bonnie?”

“That’s our bhean.” Which is Scottish Gaelic for wife. It rolls off the Captain tongue with 0 effort as his wife giggles lightly and presses a kiss to his neck.

Soap about faints.

“Do I miss when you used to flirt with me like that,” his wife turned to her husband and asked. The Captain moved to put an arm on either side, caging her in against the counter and helping her easily move to sit on top of it.

“Oh, I think ya do. Its that charm that won ya over after all. Got ya to marry me, dinnit?”

“If charm is what we’re calling the monster between your legs, then yes. Yes, it was.” The Scottish Captain laughed with his wife, a hearty chuckle that makes her hum in amusement and leave a peck on his scratchy beard. Soap about fainted again.

“WE’RE MARRIED TO A SUPERMODEL?”

“I’m an American Central Intelligence Agent, actually. We met putting Graves behind bars. Told him if he didn’t shoot him when we got him in the heli, I’d return his advances because Graves has some info I needed. Rest was history.” Her voice sounded like the best music Soap had ever heard. She was EVERYTHING. He’d pray to the ground she walked on and lick the rim of any cup she sipped from just to get a taste of her. He had a big fat crush on this woman.

The Captain could see the look in Soap’s eyes and sighed to himself. He forgot how much of a simp he was for his wife. He forgets how much of a simp he still is for his wife. Wondering if he still makes that dorky expression.

Soap tapped the Captain and pulled him into a different room. He got on his knees in front of his Captain self and begged, “PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DID IT. I NEED TO MEET THIS WOMAN NOW.” His hands clasped together, on his KNEES.

Captain MacTavish just pats his little mohawk and says “with time,” which makes sweet little Soap about CRY. Gave him some other small light hearted advice about her favorite flowers and that he’ll know when he sees her.

The Captain just makes his way back into the room and over to his wife. He gently returns to her, still seated on the counter, as she plays on her phone, and sticks his face into her chest with a content sigh. Her free hand goes to run her fingers through his hair and his arms tighten slightly around her waist.

Soap waddles in and his FOMO is off the hook. Simon shuffles over to him and in his best serious voice he goes, “I’d offer to let ya put your face in my tits but I don’t think mine are the kind ya looking for.” Before cackling to himself.

He heard the Captain mumble something to her about retiring, her having perfect birthing hips, and chubby Scottish babies which made poor little Soap break down.

She hummed back at comment about her having the job that’s less dangerous and how she’d let him have a whole little futbol team once he stopped doing the dangerous stuff. She pulled his head up, planted a kiss to his lips, and let his head fall right back.

His future is AWESOME.

Sergeant John ‘Soap’ MacTavish is officially excited for his future.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Part 2 here