#pitch perfect? fucking pitch. nerf it

[dabidagoose]

Wii music is fucking. Hard

[blood-sucking-freaks]

idk if i'm gonna do all of the BJ book on here yet, BUT here's a section of it that kind of helps expand on the 'Evil Bill and Evil Ted trash Bill and Ted's place' scene and I fucking love that we got a little bit more fleshed out characterization of EB and ET in the book because I love them (also a funny little bit on De Nomolos' 'teaching')

Bill and Ted weren't the best housekeepers in the world. Evil Bill and Evil Ted were even worse - horrible, in fact. They were also totally into mindless destruction, and while Good Bill and Good Ted had their faults, destroying for destroying's sake was not one of them. Of course, they knew that once they got the Wyld Stallyns off the ground, they would have to destroy a few thousand dollars' worth of equipment whenever they played some live gigs in mega-arenas -the fans would expect it - but that was in the future, when they could afford it.

With Evil Bill and Evil ted, on the other hand, it was not only their life's work, what they had been totally programmed to do, but it was their hobby was well. Now, having destroyed their relationship between Good Bill and Good Ted and the princesses and murdering Bill and ted into the bargain, Evil Bill and Evil Ted were addressing themselves to the question of trashing Bill and Ted's apartment. They were very good at it. Pros, you might say.

They had already had a certain amount of fun tearing up what there was of bill and Ted's meager wardrobe, flushing smaller household items down the toilet and totally scratching and smashing their prized collection of Aerosmith and Iron Maiden records. The stereo and the TV were just smoking shells, the posters had been stripped from the walls, the rug ripped up from the floor, the curtains destroyed, the furniture hacked to splinters.

Evil Bill and Evil Ted now turned to the kitchen and found that that was a very entertaining venue, opening up many opportunities for creative and imaginative ways of destroying things.

Ted threw open the door of the refrigerator and yanked out a can of soda. He shook it ferociously and then fired a long stream of sticky liquid at Evil Bill.

"You look thirsty, dude!" cackled Evil Ted.

"And you look hungry!" yelled Evil Bill. He grabbed a handful of eggs from the rack in the door of the refrigerator and pasted evil Ted in the side of the head with two of them.

"Yah!" Evil Ted squeezed some of the yolk from his hair. "And I know what you want!"

"What?"

"Dessert, dude!" Evil Ted pulled out an aerosol can of whipped cream topping and blasted away at Evil Bill. Cream, eggs and soda made the kitchen floor sticky underfoot, and just for the heck of it, Evil Bill and Evil Ted pulled all the food out of the refrigerator, tossed it to the ground and trampled it into paste.

Then they turned their attention to the kitchen cabinets, inventing, on the spur of the moment, a new kind of basketball. Instead of using a ball, like normal people, or even normal robots, they played with all the glassware - plates, glasses, saucers - that they found in the cabinets. True, you couldn't dribble a plate - no bounce, right? - but it did make for a very satisfying slam dunk.

You see, Bill and ted had a little indoor basketball net over their kitchen door, and sometimes, when they had to have some very serious and deep conversation, they would sit at their kitchen counter, talking about the Wyld Stallyns, their babes, their future and other serious things, shooting a nerf ball at the hoop. It helped them concentrate and it didn't do any harm.

That just wasn't evil Bill and Evil Ted's kind of game. Evil Ted had a big water glass in his right hand, and he was backing in toward the basket, his left arm out to keep Evil bill out of the way. Evil Bill, for his part, was working hard to block, in Evil ted's face, trying to prevent the attacker from getting a look at the basket.

"No way, dude," said Evil Bill, "you'll get through my totally non-heinous and most resplendent blocking."

"Yah?" Evil Ted powered in a few feet and hooked the glass at the basket. It sailed through the air, end over end, whiffed through the basket and exploded with a crash on the tile floor.

"Two points, dude!"

"Lucky, dude, that's all. My turn." He scooped up a dinner plate, faked right, went left and blew by Evil Ted, leaped for the hoop and jammed, slamming the plate into smithereens.

"He shoots! He scores!" yelled Evil Bill. "The man, er, robot is unstoppable!"

Evil Ted had an armful of glasses, and he was standing about where he imagined the free throw line to be, pitching them toward the basket. Not all of them swished - a couple of them just smashed against the kitchen wall, showering glass over everything - but most found their target and then shattered.

Evil Bill did his best to help out, goaltending, tipping in a few of the rim shots. It sounded as if it were raining broken glass in the wreckage of Bill and Ted's apartment.

Then, abruptly, it stopped.

"More!" demanded Evil Bill.

Evil Ted was peering into the cupboards, rummaging around, throwing out cans and cereal boxes, rifling the shelves, like a thief searching for hidden valuables.

"Bad news, dude."

"What?"

"Game's over. We are totally out of dishes!"

"Heinous."

They look for a moment over the extensive wreckage, smiles of satisfaction on their faces.

"Well," said Evil Bill. "It was fun while it lasted. I just wish those other us's had more stuff to wreck."

"Well, we didn't make all that much at Pretzels 'n' Cheese, dude."

"Yah, but I wish we had spent more on decorating."

Evil Ted suddenly had a totally triumphant idea. "Wait, Evil Bill, check this out."

"What?"

"This, dude." Evil Ted put his hands around his neck, as if he were trying to strangle himself, and pulled. His electronic, completely solid-state head popped out of his neck, trailing a few wires like tentacles. His headless body thundered across the kitchen, crunching glass underfoot, and slam-dunked his own indestructible head into the basket.

"Two points!" Evil Ted's head roared as it rolled across the kitchen floor.

Evil Bill was most impressed with this new variation on the game. True, they were trashing themselves now, but trashing is trashing.

"Not bad, dude, not bad."

"That's what I call heads-up basketball, dude." Evil Ted's head was still on the floor, and it was giving a certain amount of thought to the problem of how to get back to his body.

"Here," said Evil Bill, "lemme try that." Just as Evil Ted had done, Evil Bill pilled his head off his neck, as easily as popping a tab on a soft-drink can. "Check this out, Evil Ted. Keep your eye on the ball and watch a perfect Kareem-style sky hook." Evil Bill lofted his own head high in the air, a long graceful arc that seemed to be perfectly on target - until it slammed into one of the blades of the ceiling fan in the kitchen. It stuck there and turned slowly around, as if it were on a merry-go-round.

"Whoaaaaaa!" shouted Evil Bill's head. "Totally bogus!"

"Dude! You totally didn't see the fan!" Evil Ted's body, all on its own, decided it was time it had a head back. It reached down and grabbed it and stuffed it back on his neck.

Evil Bill's head continued to turn round and round. It was beginning to make him a little dizzy.

"Evil Ted! Get my body over here and take me off this thing."

"Yah! You heard him, dude," said the now-complete Evil Ted to Evil Bill's headless torso. "Go get your head, dude."

Instead of doing what it was told, the body casually waved to Evil Bill's twirling head, gesturing to him as if it didn't give a damn whether it ever got back with its head again.

"Whoooaaa!" said Evil Ted. "What a lousy attitude you have, Evil Bill."

"As soon as I get back to my body, dude, I am gonna totally beat myself black and blue."

"You'll totally have it coming to you, Evil Bill. Trouble is it's gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt yourself."

"It'll be worth it. Evil Ted, dude, get me down from here, would ya please?"

"Yah!" Evil Ted leaped as if going up for a jump shot, grabbed the head off the fan blade and came down lightly. This seemed to get Evil Bill's body's attention. Evil Ted waved the head at the body. "Got your head, dude!" he said tauntingly.

"Stop fooling around, Evil Ted, and totally reunite me with my body."

"No way, dude!" Evil Ted tucked the head into the crook of his right arm like a football running back. "I'm gonna score a touchdown!"

Evil Bill's voice was muffled. "Gotta get through my triumphant defense first." Evil Bill's headless body charged toward Evil Ted like a front-line blocker. "I'm gonna totally tackle you, dude!"

"No way!" Evil Ted danced around Evil Bill's body, raced into the living room and spiked Evil Bill's head into a wastebasket. "Touch-down for Evil Ted! Now for the triumphant field goal!"

"You're not kicking my head anywhere, dude!" Evil Bill's body rushed into the living room and grabbed the head out of the wastebasket. Quickly he jammed the head back on his shoulders. "That's better."

"That was fun!" said Evil Ted.

"Yah! Way to go, dude! We are truly most resplendent total headbangers."

"Yah!" Evil Ted air-guitared wildly for a moment, then stopped stock-still, a funny look on his face.

"What's up, Evil Ted?"

"We're wanted on the phone, Evil Bill. It's the boss from head office." Evil Ted smacked the back of his head and his eye popped into his hand. There was a moment of static and fuzz in the pupil, the De Nomolos's sneery face came on the screen.

"How's it goin', master-dude?"

De Nomolos looked with utter contempt at his two evil creations. Even though they were central to his plan, he couldn't help but loathe these two creatures. He looked forward to a time when not only would there be no Bill and Ted, but no manmade Bill and Teds either. Bliss...

"Give me a report," snapped De Nomolos. "At once!"

"We totally ruined things between Joanna and Elizabeth and Bill and Ted," said Evil Bill.

"Yah. They were most sad dudes when we totally murdered them."

"Yah! And now we've been having a little R and R while we trash their heinous apartment."

"Stop wasting time," De Nomolos barked. "You must proceed with the plan. Immediately, do you understand me?"

"Yes, master-dude!" they said in unison.

"Understand me, you cretins," said De Nomolos, "it is not enough that you destroy those two...those two...," he couldn't even bring himself to say their names, "...imbeciles. It is imperative that you destroy everything about them."

"Totally!" agreed Evil Bill and Evil Ted.

"So get on with it," De Nomolos ordered. "Follow you orders to the letter."

"Okay, dude," said Evil Ted. "What's next? What does the program say?"

"Don't think! You're not programmed to think!" yelled De Nomolos. "Just do! The next phase consists of completely alienating Bill and Ted from everyone they've ever known."

"Right!" said Evil Bill.

"Excellent!" said Evil Ted. "You are one most smart dude, dude."

De Nomolos looked withy disgust at the machines he had created in the image of his greatest enemies. "I hate them and I hate robot versions of them."

"Hey, dude," said Evil Bill, "don't blame us. You're the one who made us."

"Yah!" said Evil Ted.

"Don't remind me," said De Nomolos. "Get to work!"

The image on the eye monitor fuzzed over and De Nomolos disappeared. Back in the future, he was busy implementing his own part in the plan, which consisted mainly of indoctrinating his captive students at Bill and Ted University in the history he had so carefully and nastily rewritten.

"Pop quiz!" he said suddenly to the class. "Close your books!"

Thomas Edison, Bach and the rest of the class closed their personal copies of a not very fascinating book called Nomolos de Nomolos - The Greatest Man In History and sat up straight.

De Nomolos scowled at the ranks of students. "In what year did Robot Ted marry Missy?" He scanned the room, as if about to choose a candidate for execution. "Thomas Edison! Answer me!"

Edison started as if he had been pinched and swallowed hard. It had been a while since he had taken a pop quiz, and he had never taken one with a gun to his head. It was a most disconcerting feeling.

"Uh...1996?" he asked hopefully.

De Nomolos actually smiled, an expression that looked sort of peculiar, out of place on his face. "Very good. You are as smart as your reputation said you were."

Seeing as Edison was on De Nomolos's good side, he thought he might use the opportunity to get out of the jam he found himself in. "Sir, I hate to bother you, but I have to be getting back to New Jersey to invent the motion picture, and I happen to know that Johann Sebastian Bach here was halfway through Das Musicalishes Opfer - really smoking, really on a roll too - so maybe we could be heading back to our own times now."

Edison wasn't teacher's pet anymore. "Shut up. You know no one can leave the century during a quiz. Leads to cheating. Now... you!" He pointed to a student in the third row who was so scared she jumped about a foot on the air.

"Me?"

"Yes, you..." De Nomolos's brow furrowed as if he was trying to think up a real toughie. "In what year did Missy marry Robot Bill?"

"1998," she said quickly.

De Nomolos smiled his bad guy smile. "Good... Good... Things are coming along very nicely, very nicely indeed." De Nomolos looked around the room, drawing a bead on another hapless student, like a sniper fixing a victim in the crosshairs of his sights. "You!" All the time that Robot Bill and Robot Ted were on earth, where were the actual Bill and Ted?"

The student swallowed hard. "They were dead, sir. Totally."

"Exactly." De Nomolos spoke with a great and obvious sense of satisfaction. Things seemed to be going his way, just as planned. "Gone... dead. Never to return again. And that means that their idiocy will have died with them. No one can do anything about it. Ingenious, isn't it?"

[snusbandxknifewife]

Sticky Ficky 8

Hello everyone! Since Jurdannet Christmas in July is coming up, I thought I’d celebrate a lil family tradition. In my family, the 23rd of December is Elf Night. Basically, if you’re good, the elves will leave you one gift to occupy your time until Christmas. As it is now July 23rd, that makes this Elf Night in July, and I believe that’s as good an excuse as any for some Sticky Ficky!

So awhile back @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 helped me out with something and I wrote a pillow for hc for her in return and I thought at the time “this has Sticky Ficky potential” so we will now take a break from our scheduled worm chapter to have pillow fort Sticky Ficky! Hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~

Wssssh

THUNK

Jude Duarte Greenbriar, Hugh Queen of Elfhame and wife to Cardan Greenbriar, dove to the side at the very last moment, just barely avoiding the glow-in-the-dark suction cup dart as it flew past her head, sticking comically to the groin of a satyr statue in the office she shared with her husband.

She swerved onto one knee, taking aim directly at Cardan’s pretty black eyes and letting fly a dart of her own, this one pink and with a soft tip. Like most things in her life, she was right on target, her timing impeccable and her aim unfailing.

Why Cardan insisted on doing this when he was so obviously set up to fail always confused her, but she was never one to back away from a surefire victory.

Using the disorientation caused by her near-perfect hit, Jude scrambled to her feet and careened out the office door; headed for their destroyed sitting room. She was out of bullets and needed to restock. Luckily, she knew the sofa fort like the back of her hand, and she had hidden an extra gun in the hollow of the underside of a sofa cushion for just this moment.

But she always underestimated just how fast her husband could move. Cardan was a man well practiced in getting others to forget he could be lethal. Hidden behind the near-constant dullness of intoxication and the ever-present serving of indifference, Cardan always payed attention. He was a dangerously advanced student of the Court of Shadows, and he’d been raised in an insanely cutthroat royal family.

She needed to stop forgetting that.

“Jude, villain and darling,” he purred in her ear as he captured her by the waist, hauling her up over his shoulder and back away from her stash. “Leaving so soon? I was having so much fun.”

“Let go of me!” Jude squealed, going for threatening as she wiggled like a petulant puppy in his arms but unable to hide the mirth in her voice. “I said unhand me!”

Beneath her stomach she felt him chuckle as he ignored her, spinning towards their bedroom and keeping one hand firmly on her ass to make sure she didn’t successfully squirm away.

If their sitting room was a disaster, their bedroom was a war zone. The mattress was completely off the bed frame, angled like a lean-to and hiding a pile of pillows for ample cuddling. The vanity that Cardan used to use as a place to hold his wine was in the middle of the room, hooked to other pieces of furniture by fine silken sheets as they spread across the chamber.

Forts had become a topic of conversation after Jude drunkenly admitted to loving them in childhood. One night, as she and Cardan were deep in their drink and basking in one another’s naked company, she’d gotten to talking about how little Jude had always loved Friday nights.

Friday nights meant no school the next day, no sports and no homework for the following week. Friday nights meant staying up and gorging on microwaved fish sticks with a dessert of cosmic brownies. Friday nights meant reruns of Scooby Doo and pajama parties with her whole family.

Most importantly, Friday nights meant pillow fights and forts in the living room.

Forts in the living room meant family sleepovers in the living room.

Family sleepovers meant she had her parents with her, meant she was safe, that she was nothing more than a child.

A child with no knowledge of real war, of Faerie, of bloodshed and suffering and sacrifice.

Cardan had confessed to her, after she’d described her coveted purple unicorn pajama pants and her favorite mortal soda, that he’d quite like to know what it was like to have a pillow fight and a fort in one’s living room. He hadn’t expected her to follow through. Hell, he hadn’t even expected her to remember. But then, after nearly a week had gone by and he was aching after an infuriating meeting and a ridiculous revel, he’d returned to their chambers to find the sitting room turned over and a pile of sheets by the door.

That night was the first of what would become their weekly ritual. What began as a little fort in the sitting room turned into nerf gun fights and feasting on only the most mediocre of mortal cuisine, sheets hanging from every viable surface in the royal apartments and Homeric descriptions of cartoons from Jude’s childhood, relaxing in one another’s embrace and having a little fun—between, below, and above the sheets.

It seemed like every day they’d find some memento of their Friday nights, a sticky hand that Cardan had used to smack Jude’s ass, a pillow from their bed in their bathtub, or—Cardan’s favorite—Jude’s stash of good wine hidden in the skirts of the dress she was due to wear the following day. Each little thing made them grin and made their hearts go weak with love for their partner.

And that’s what it was, love.

After all this time, after all the teasing in school and the suffering so early in Cardan’s reign, after Madoc and the Undersea and exile, they loved each other. It surprised Jude every day to realize it, but she couldn’t deny it was there. No one who saw the way the king looked at the queen could deny it was there.

Cardan shocked Jude back to reality by none-too-gently throwing her atop a pile of pillow. When she gave him an offended gasp, he turned his nose high and said: “I have no sympathy for prisoners.”

“Am I a prisoner now?” Jude asked, a sly smile overtaking her face as she watched her husband stalk around the room like the cat he just barely wasn’t. Sure, she didn’t have a functional weapon and she was pretty winded from the fall, but she knew she could take him without too much trouble.

He stopped cold, his back turning rigid as he stared at something she couldn’t see. Jude felt her stomach clench and she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d said something wrong. She and Cardan had gotten a lot better at communication over the years, but they still had their moments.

Unable to convince herself to open her mouth to ask what was wrong, she watched in horrified silence as her husband flexed his hands once, twice, three times.

Then, when he turned to face her, something had changed in his eyes.

“Of course you are,” he spit at her with a vitriol he hadn’t used in years. “Isn’t that what you’ve always been? All you’re good at being?”

Her brow furrowed and she felt a furious blush rising to her cheeks, but as her husband fully turned towards her, his boots angled directly at her outstretched legs and his face dark in a way she didn’t like to remember, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him what he was talking about.

Jude was unable to verbally defend herself as he took a step towards her. In fact, she was unable to do anything but scramble awkwardly onto her hands and feet.

“Poor little Duarte, a human child stolen away to Faerie,” he hissed at her, advancing. Jude felt a lump in her throat that she was unable to swallow around and she began to crab-walk backwards as fast as she could. Still, he gained on her.

She successfully dislodged herself from the pile of pillows, the cold stone floor biting into her hands as she continued to move away from her husband. He seemed so angry, so hateful where he’d once been so loving.

“Cardan—“

“Shut your filthy human mouth!” Cardan shouted, so suddenly and so loudly that she couldn’t help but flinch. And then she was against a wall with no way out and he was only fifteen feet from her.

Jude was looking for something, anything to defend herself. She tried to reassure herself that she was the better fighter, that she was protected against geases and that she had the land on her side just as much as he did, but, in the face of that evil look in his eyes, it did nothing to calm her.

“Jude fucking Duarte, the scum of the gentry,” he spit as he tilted his head, inspecting her the same way a troubled child would inspect a beautiful butterfly right before they ripped the poor thing’s wings off. “Did you honestly think you’d ever be anything more than a prisoner?”

She blanched and he was ten feet away.

“Did you think you’d ever stand a chance against a people so undeniably better than you?”

A cold tear dripped down her cheek and he was five feet away.

“Did you think anyone, much less someone like me, could ever love the likes of you?”

He gripped her by the throat and yanked her off her feet, slamming her against the unforgiving stone wall and glaring into her eyes, his nose a hair’s breadth away.

“Jude Duarte, Seneschal to the High King of Elfhame. Jude Duarte, Hugh Queen of Elfhame,” he sneered in a voice so high-pitched that it was obviously making fun of her. “Did you think it ever mattered? Did you honestly believe that those titles made you safe?”

She opened her mouth to try to speak, but she couldn’t force any air out, not with how his long, delicate fingers were so easily crushing her windpipe.

“You were a prisoner to mortality in your childhood,” he leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “and they you were a prisoner of Faerie in your adolescence.”

Her vision blackened around the edges as her mind reached weakly for a memory of when Cardan held her sweetly. She couldn’t quite grasp one.

“You willingly enslaved yourself to my brother and then you went and made yourself into my prisoner when you engineered my rule,” he laughed, pulling away just enough for her to see his cold eyes once more. “Surely you knew that’s all you were? Bound to my word in public and stuck cleaning up all my messes. God, you make a good little servant.”

She tried to kick at him, but her whole body felt week and she wasn’t able to bring her leg up. Panicked, she looked down to where her hands clawed at his and she found that her nails were broken and bloodied, the beds caked with sea salt.

“You were a prisoner beneath the waves.”

Seaweed rose from the floor and wrapped around her ankles, pulling down like it was trying to pull her under the water once more.

“You were a prisoner, bound to the bidding of Balekin.”

She felt the ghost of his lips against hers and she gagged, gasping for air and unable to get any.

“A prisoner to your own desires,” he smirked. “That’s why you stupidly chose my hand over my control.”

She couldn’t get a word in edgewise, couldn’t correct him, couldn’t even really remember why she’d done it. Was he right?

“And now you’re once again locked in the world of the mortals, a prisoner in your little bedroom cell,” he sneered at her. “It’s where you belong, don’t you agree? I’m sure all of Faerie does.”

Memories of exile came flooding back to her. She could see, almost as if she were a fly on the wall, a disturbingly sick Jude. Clothes were falling off her and her normally tanned skin was deathly pale, the only real structure in her life coming from the rat’s nest that has cemented itself in her hair.

“Let me tell you a secret, Jude,” he leans back in, lips ghosting against her ear. “That’s where you’ll stay. In that tiny room in that hellish world, wasting away to nothing and waiting for your inevitable death. You’ll go quietly, without a fight and with no one to remember you. Do you know why, Jude?”

Her mouth formed around his name.

Cardan

But she couldn’t say it.

“I’ll tell you why,” he continued, smirk evident in his icy voice. “It’s because, above all else, you are a prisoner to your own fear. You will always be your own jail cell.”

Tears gushed down her face and she wanted to beg him to stop saying such hurtful things. But she couldn’t, because when Cardan next pulled away, it wasn’t Cardan at all.

One cold, rotted hand gripped her by the throat as she stared in horror at the decaying body of Balekin Greenbriar, fresh blood still oozing from the fatal wound she’d inflicted.

She woke screaming.

Jude Duarte, exiled High Queen of Elfhame, woke screaming.

She didn’t know the day or the time, where she was or why she was there, all she knew is that she could still feel the cold hand of death wrapped around her throat.

Cardan wasn’t there, he’d never been there. They’d never built forts or had pillow fights and they likely never would.

She was blind to the world as she heaved herself out of bed, flying towards the shower to try and wash the stench of death off her skin. She didn’t notice that Vivienne was awake, Oak sitting next to her at the kitchen bar.

The siblings shared a horrified look and Vivi didn’t give herself the time to hesitate. She picked up her phone, dialed, and prayed.

It rang three times.

“Listen, Vivi, I really don’t have the time for th—“

“It’s not about us, Heather,” Vivi rushed to say, taking the sudden silence on the other end as a sign to continue. “It’s Jude. Please, I need your help with Jude.”

More silence, and then:

“I’ll be right over.”

~~~~~~

What? I didn’t say it would be fluffy pillow fort Sticky Ficky,,,,,all aboard the angst train lol

Hope y’all don’t hate me too much I promise I will have more funny/stupid Sticky Ficky but I gotta get this exile angst in!

Tag list: @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @hizqueen4life @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @thewickedkings @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @cheekycheekycheeks @queen-of-glass @b00kworm @doingmyrainbow @andromeddea @jurdanhell @thesirenwashere @sweetlyvillainous @courtofjurdan @clockworkgraystairs

[shishinoya]

Loading... █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

Thank you @acescoolhat​ for your request! Your request is currently being processed.

Your choices were:

— Kuroo Tetsurou

— The Blueberry Ginger Treatment

— At his place

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Your request had been fully processed! He will be delighted to hear that you chose him! Enjoy your date!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

》   You think Kuroo will let you have a calm date? aHA nope!

》   He’s got the perfect date planned and is just grinning as the day approaches. It’s going to involve a lot of movement ;) If you catch my drift.

》   You get to his place and you ring the doorbell.

》   You just hear a voice go, “Enter if you dare”. Dark kermit comes to mind, but kermit is best boy so you do.

》   When you walk in, you see nothing but a note and a nerf gun.

》   The note reads: “Prepared to be gunned down. If you win, I’ll pay for food, but if I win, you’re paying >:)”

》   Who were you to back down from a challenge? So you grab the gun and yelp when you hear bullets being fired at you.

》   His cackle fills the room. You peer from the side of the kitchen counter and he’s in a fucking fort.

》   “That’s so unfair!”, “Hate the game, not the player, sweetheart.”, “You’re surrounded by pillows! I can’t get past that defence!”

》   He will high-pitch scream if you fire bullets at him though. Be careful. He may look rough, but he can shatter your eardrums.

》   It’s an intense battle. There were times where he ran out of bullets and had to duck and roll to get to the other side. You practically crashed into the layers of blankets and pillows, causing the whole fort to collapse.

》   Counters and couches were used as protection and shield. Pots and pans are used as helmets. You guys fell many times. His neighbours might be thinking something else was happening.

》  Your knees are basically red and bruised from the carpet burn you got from sliding all over his floor. Your outfit is all wrinkled and tattered from the aggressive movements you were pulling off.

》   The apartment is basically just you two screaming at each other while knocking over statues. He may or may not have broken a few cups but the details don’t matter. Who needs cups when you have bowls?

》   It finally ends when Kuroo lands and headshot on your forehead. Your hair is sticking to your face from all the sweat that was dripping down your head. What a work out. This will be your work out for the month.

》   It’s hard to believe that this is your first time meeting him and it felt like this was something you two did on a daily basis.

》   He’s trying to be a gentleman and still pays for food even though you lost. UwU

》   Even paying for the bill is a game. He tries to fight you off, he succeeds, but not without any battle wounds.

》   He’ll be showing off that scratch on his arm off. “You see this? Yeah, I got this from paying for dinner.”

》   You apologize but he just waves it off.

》   “So you wanna... You know... ;)) Wink wink nudge nudge... Rebuild the fort? :D”, “Fuck yeah!”

》   You guys make the best fort castle that there ever was. Decked out with camping lanterns and everything.

》   It would be warm and cozy if you weren’t sticky and dirty from the running and rolling before. But you two still sit inside there.

》   It feels like a teenage girl’s sleepover because you two are just talking and sharing secrets. Okay, maybe not the last part but, you get the idea.

》   Food arrives and he pulls out the Netflix and chill. But real chilling, not the nasty kind.

》   You guys just vibe and talk, occasionally choking on a fry when someone says something random. It’s a very casual date, but you absolutely love it. You get to let loose and be yourself with Kuroo. His laugh never fails to make you laugh because of how stupid it sounds. 

》   It may have been a risky date idea, but you’re glad he did this. It quelled any uncomfortableness.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Did you enjoy your date with Kuroo Tetsurou? Because he sure did! He left you a message!

— i have bragging rights now. >:) next time, it won’t only be bullets i’ll be shooting ;)

He also requested another date! How lucky of you! Contact us again!

[hackedmotionsensors]

Mind if I ask you what you didn't like about Thor in IW? Or if you don't want to talk about that, what cake would be a thematic cake you'd design for Loki to go along with Thor's lemon one?

I can answer BOTH of these.  There’ll be spoilers here so I’ll tag that but be careful.

1) i can’t seem to get the cut to work so I’ll put the cheesecake thing up top 

So the cheesecake at Disneyland for Thor was a raspberry cheesecake with a chocolate Mjolnir on top. I would probably do another cheesecake but maybe with a citrus flavor to it. Like a lemon lime cheesecake with green icing on top and a little chocolate Loki helmet on top!!! But I love citrus lol

Okay spoiler filled rant beneath the cut

In Ragnarok you can tell that Taika KNEW a LOT about Thor the comic book character and cared about this character. I mean he was the first one to bring in Immigrant Song as part of his pitch for the movie which is INSANE that no one had thought …..to make Thor about a heavy metal viking in space??? because that’s EVERYTHING that made Thor appealing in the 70s-80s in a sense lol. Hemsworth was tired of playing this TOTALLY under-utilized and under-powered GOD OF THUNDER!!! And of course he’d get bored. If you go back and you look at the Thor movies on their own he’s not even really the main character in his own movies. Jane and Loki are more compelling, more story driven, given more character development and those moments you remember from Thor 1 and 2 are NOT Thor moments. (M&M wrote The Dark World which is why no one outside of die hard Thor fans really like that movie).

Taika and Hemsworth collaborated on Ragnarok. Taika’s main point was that if you’re going to have a movie about Thor he NEEDS to be the best character in the movie. A lot of people loved Ragnarok but there are a lot of people who thought it wasn’t DRAMATIC enough or MEANINGFUL enough but a man who didn’t want to be king, doing the most KINGLY things of protecting his people, sacrificing himself against a colonizing murderer even if he is a part of that family of colonizers. It shows Thor coming into his own as his own character. Taika knew how to use Hemsworth’s humor and is a great comedian on his own. All of Taika’s comedies have these really HEARTFELT moments that make the funny moments much more entertaining because you care so much about them).

Marvel gave up on Thor.  Marvel Studios gave up on Thor. M&M gave up on Thor and the Russos never knew what to do with him anyway. And in a sense I kind of see why someone would fall to the wayside when you have a cast of over thirty heroes to try and be entertaining, give the audience their scenes and have people want to care about them.

When Ragnarok came out it was so under promoted that they were sure that it would flop. It wasn’t until those screeners came back or the reviews came back that people actually cared about it. Because they made an amazing movie. 

Like when everyone’s contract was coming up to end Hemsworth wanted more and that was all Taika and Hemsworth collaborating on this character.

ALL OF THIS WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW WHEN THEY STARTED FILMING INFINITY WAR/ENDGAME. 

I’m not gonna spoil endgame but I’ll tag it anyway but these two films were filmed at the same time. Not counting pick ups and retakes. So everything we knew about Thor in this last movie was filmed roughly at the same time as Infinity War.

Hemsworth said in an interview that he really wanted to keep what he and Taika had worked on with Ragnarok. But what are you gonna do? you can’t fight TOO much for that last movie because its the last two movies. Eventually he was convinced on what they were going to do with Thor.

Ragnarok: Thor realizes he’s more than just a weapon. Lighting COMES and flows THROUGH him. Not the Hammer. Mjolnir is what makes him fly but not what summons the lightning. He was referred to as the God of Thunder. That’s WHO HE IS. The previous movies kept emphasizing he’s not a god. Even Odin calls the Asgardians not gods which GOES AGAINST WHAT THEY ARE IN BOTH MYTH AND THE COMICS. Thor had his own humor and it worked because Taika knew how to write Thor and Hemsworth knew what to do to make him funny.

Infinity War: Somehow Thor cannot fight without a new hammer. (Its to sell toys) So lets go on this adventure ELSEWHERE to get a new fucking hammer. And then the Hammer is used ONCE. And then in Endgame he’s completely useless without his hammer??? or Stormbreaker?? Stormbreaker can use the rainbow bridge. Why couldn’t he use it to go get Tony? Granted he didn’t know where Tony was but it makes just as much sense as Captain Marvel finding him. And I absolutely love that scene but ??? Thor has this ability and used it once??? 

Like he has a whole conversation with the guardians and rocket about having to go get a new hammer. Why? WHY? Because he didn’t defeat Thanos? 

But he’s reliant on this weapon AGAIN. Which completely defeats what we learned in Ragnarok. It just seems like they literally didn’t know what to do with Thor because Thor was so powerful. They did the same thing with Vision. That’s why Vision gets nerfed at the beginning of the movie. They LITERALLY said “We had to take Vision out early on because he’s too powerful”

Which is fucking stupid. Because if Vision is so powerful and Thanos fucking wrecks him then THANOS IS NOW MORE POWERFUL THAN VISION. The people who should be able to wreck Thanos without really any issue are Wanda and Captain Marvel because they’re BOTH birthed of Infinity Stones and so is Vision but if he can take out Vision then you have more fear for what he can do to Carol or Wanda. 

Thor is one of the most powerful Avengers in the comics and throughout most of the series he’s just sorta …..really strong.

Taika tried to fix that and the Russos and M&M erased that.

Also.

We had an entire movie that proved that Thor wasn’t a complete buffoon. Thor isn’t supposed to be a Tony Stark or a Reed Richards or even a Black Widow for that matter. But he’s not stupid. Which makes Loki that much more manipulative because he’s constantly tricking Thor (granted he’s had about a thousand years to perfect tricking Thor and a mom who taught him how to be a witch so…yknow)

And there’s nothing wrong with HOW Thor fell into a depression or dealt with trauma. But his trauma wasn’t any different than Cap or Tony really but it was dealt with as a joke. And there’s always something really uncomfortable to me (even tho I did laugh at the jokes because of course I would. They’re framed as jokes and some of them land really well like when he’s asleep in the chair or when he’s telling the tale of Dark World) where being fat is being made to look like a sign of laziness or that being fat is something that in and of itself is funny or how underneath that fat is a really buff man who can take his fat off at any time and as a card carrying fat person I don’t have that ability. 

I like Fat Thor. I do not like that on top of being Fat he was a complete idiot. They took everything he was good at and the humor that Taika and Hemsworth brought to the character and made it a three hour fat joke.

So I’m hoping if he shows up in Guardians or they do get Thor 4 (or Thfour) we get Taika’s involvement again and we get some writing on this character that isn’t belittling. 

So basically I hate that the Russos and M&M didn’t know what to do with this character that we had to wait so long to see actually get shown in a light that wasn’t just “That Blonde Dude with the Hammer”

[theladylikesfics]

After The Storm Chpt 6

Lying as flat as possibly on the floor you heard the footsteps approaching, silently you commando slid on your bell across the dark cherry wood floor; stopping on when you heard the foot steps stop moving. You could hear him pause and watched as he circled around searching for you. Suddenly you popped up from behind Jin’s large desk in his office and shot him on the ass with your Nerf gun; squealing running away as he gave chase firing back. “AHH! Oh! You’re so getting it for that butt shot!” Jin called out after you as you two ran around the downstairs of your home playing with Nerf guns. “You gotta be quicker than that to catch me!” You yelled back laughing as you ran circles around the couch in the living room. The last month and two weeks of your life had been come a chaotic shell game. On the one hand it worked perfectly, you were able to work in peace without fear, you were slightly tired of knowing this was your life out of need not out of want. Wanting to lighten the mood Jin had left two Nerf Blasters along with a two hundred dart refills and a note ‘be prepared to battle!’; it felt as though the two of you hadn’t honestly played and had fun in forever and this was just the thing needed to relax and bring some true smiles and fun back into both of your lives. The two of you ran from room to room firing and laughing dodging and hiding behind all surfaces until Jin lost his balance running in his socks and slipped. “Oh shit! Jinni honey are you okay?” Jin groaned. “Babe come here quick I’m hurt!”  you dropped your guns and rushed over to him as fast as you could; dropping to your knees to assess, he quickly pulled you in to his arms holding you in place with one arm while beginning to tickle you with the other. “Gotcha!” “No Fair! You cheater!” You squirmed and giggled writhing against him. “You never said I couldn’t cheat and just because I am a cheater I’m doing this.” Jin pressed his lips on the sweet spot of your neck and began blowing raspberries, causing you to shriek, and shrill in a high pitch whining for him to stop. “Jinni noooo stop I’m gonna get the hi-hiccups! Da-damnit Jin.” Hiccups having set in, Jin couldn’t contain his laughter or his grip on you. “Hmmph!” you got up off the floor haughtily ignoring Jin’s out stretched hand to help him up off the floor. “Yo-you got down there by yourself, you can get up by yourself. Hmmph!” “Ouch Babe. Ice Princess is in the house.” Jin said, his long strides quickly catching up to you, he pulled you close into him by your waist and planted kisses on the side of your face, ear and the top of your head. “I love you, you know.” He said, turning you around his arms looking down into your face. You tiptoed to kiss him, securing your arms around his neck pulling him down further kissing him deeply. A knock on the door interrupted you. Jin threw his head back in a half growl half groan. “This had better be important, I was about to get lucky.” “Oh. You think so huh?” You said with a smirk. “I know so.” Jin replied swatting you on the ass and following you to the door.

On the other side of the door was Seo, Song, Detective Park and Lee Hoon-So; you motioned for the four men to come inside. After offering and serving beverages you got down to the reason of the visit. “To what do we owe the pleasure gentlemen?” You asked; Detective Park spoke first. “We have some news and some good news.” “You caught this sick bastard and my fiancé is once again safe?” Jin asked “Not that good unfortunately but still good. We got the DNA results back on the blood that was used for the card and the pictures. We talked to each of those individuals and we’ve ruled them out as suspects.” “How!?” Both you and Jin practically yelled at the same time. “When we talked to them and examined the blood, we that the one thing they all had in common is that they had recently donated blood. The woman who is A+ is a sixty-year-old grandmother who’s only familiar with the band because of her grand children. We did a thorough sweep of her home and electronic devices as well as her whereabouts for the times and date you and your staff were able to give as. The gentlemen who is AB- donated is a forty-eight-year old businessman. A day later went to Busan to visit family before flying out to Singapore, where he’s still currently located. Again, full sweep of his home and whereabouts there’s no immediate connection to any of this. The young man who is O is a twenty-five-year-old intern at Asan Medical Center. He’s very familiar with BTS and the engagement; however, he loves your diversity initiative, thinks you’re absolutely beautiful and that Jin is a very lucky man.” You breathed a half sigh of relief; part of you felt better knowing there wasn’t three people plotting and conspiring against you, but still frustrated that no real information as to who was behind these attacks was known. “So, you’ve eliminated three suspects but still don’t know who’s terrorizing us?” Jin said tightly “We don’t have confirmation on a suspect but here’s the additional news. Being that all the blood seemed to have the connection of being a donation we asked if they had been a recent blood drive done; there was, so we went out to talk to the staff running the drive that day. They said that and the end of the drive there was twelve bags of A+, ten bags of AB-, and four bags of O, these are the bags that were already processed and ready to use; at the end of night when they were moving the bags to cold storage there were only eleven bags of A+, nine bags of AB- and three bags of O. They thought initially that the original count was just off; but as you know they collect the names of the individual and assign them a name and number for their donation. When they ran the names of the three individuals their numbers were there, but their donation was missing.” Your grasp on Jin’s arm tighten and you could swear you felt your pupils dilate. “Does this mean, you honestly have a suspect?” You asked, heart beat kicking up substantially as the thought of this nightmare finally coming to and end began to set in. “We are still tracking down every employee that worked the drive and had access to the donations after it was over, but this just might be it.” Relief flooded through you like a drug. You clutched your chest, dropping your head breathing deeply wrapping Detective Park’s words around you like a cloak. “Its really almost over Jin, its honestly almost fucking over.” You were near weeping, fragilely holding on to your composure; Jin wrapping his arms around you kissing the top of your head. “But that’s not all we found, and this is most solid and most definite.” Detective Park began, but I’ll let officer Lee explain. “The letter bomb that you received is very specific. Every bomber has a signature, something unique and special just to them; and in the event this isn’t the first time they’ve done it, it makes it that much easier to match up the signature for comparison. The bomb that you received is almost identical to bombs that were sent out in the year 1988. The bomber in that case was caught and convicted; but he was found guilty with a mental defect he was sent to the prison ward of a mental clinic where he served his time. He was released five years ago. This man, Jeong Hyung Soo, is the man we are one hundred percent looking.” Officer Lee slid a picture attached to a file across the table to you and Jin. Your skin ran cold as if all the blood in your body had suddenly frozen; a violent shiver wracked your body as you clutched into Jin’s side seeking his warmth. The image on the outside of a man balding, severely chapped lips, teeth broken and missing, face covered in a thick layer of black and white stubble. The flat black matte of his eyes reminded you of a great white shark, just shiny pebbles void of any emotion or empathy; a long crescent shaped scar accented the top of his head. “This is what he looked like when he was released five years ago, have either of you ever seen this man?” Both you and Jin shook your heads no. Opening the file, you could see what he looked like when he was first convicted. Smooth tanned face with a square jawline, thick full head of jet black hair, full pouty lips that may have even rivaled Jin’s, teeth perfect, no visible scar. Eyes still matte, lifeless and cold. “What happened, how did this man become this?” You asked, trying to fathom this level of decline. Detective Park began. “It started with an office dispute; something meaningless, casual office ribbing. Then apparently at an office party at a BBQ den the first victim Dong Ha, got drunk and started telling Jeong Hyung Soo just what he truly thought of him; two days later he received a letter bomb in the mail. Luckily for him he was looking away when he was opening the letter, his sister had called his name and he turn to answer as he was tearing it open. It cost him a portion of his left side of his face and his ear, but it saved his life. The second victim Ahn Jin-joo was a neighbor. They had apparently had on going disputes about everything. She was an older woman, but her home was known as a party house. From what police were able to piece together at the time she had thrown a party that had ran late into the night, Jeong had come over furious about it pounding on her door with a cigarette in her mouth; she immediately blew the smoke in his face then threw a cup of beer in his eyes in front of all the guest; including a few neighbors who were attending. Two days later a package arrived and sadly she did not survive. The third and fourth victims were a nurse and boyfriend. Jo Min Ja and Yoo Ji Tae, we believe this is a classic case of unrequited love. Jeong and Jo Min Ja had met a few times and had a few drinks, according to friends and family that knew her she made it clear that she was dating around looking for her right fit. Jeong had declared that he was her match. Yoo Ji Tae was a new doctor who was interning at the hospital Jo Min Ja worked in and according to co-workers said it was love at first sight for both of them. Jo Min Ja broke off seeing everyone, including Jeong; told him that she in fact had a boyfriend now. He couldn’t accept it, he would continue to come by the hospital where she worked bring gifts, flowers, food, he would stand outside of her home yelling her name; police were called several times. The night of the engagement party a gift was placed in the couple’s car. As they were driving it exploded. From what the coroner was able to determine at the time they didn’t initially die from the blast, but they lost control of the car crashing and dying. Their deaths were the ultimate connection between Jeong and the other two victims; also, the bomb he placed in the couples car somehow malfunctioned, detonating on its own, a portion of it stayed intact, they were able to match that up with pieces from the bombs and the familiar connections he was arrested.” You sat saddened and flabbergasted at Officer Lee’s report. “This man is definitely our bomber. I put my entire reputation that this is who we are looking for.” “You sure you’ve never seen this man before? I know you have a degree in psychology, did you spend any time at the Seobu Hospital?” Detective Park asked. “No not at all. I did all my interning with Seoul International University Hospital and the Lu Han youth services; I’ve never come across this man directly as far back as I can think.” “What happens now?” Jin asked, the visible tension still holding in his shoulders. “We’re currently looking for him. Since his release was just that a release and not a parole there was no need to keep tabs on him afterwards. It was recommended that he still see a therapist at the hospital at least once a week, but he declined and legally he couldn’t be forced to see one. We have a team now following up with the hospital, trying to track down any family members. The place he listed would be his place of residents after release was a flophouse and got shut down roughly seven months after he was released. Finding him is at the top of our list, we’ve got just about every available personnel combing the streets of where known felons are known to frequent post release.” “In the meantime, we will continue with protocol Ms. (Y/L/N)” Song added in. Taking a deep breath and sighing you nodded; trying to understand just how you felt about the situation. 

Getting up from the table you flopped down on the couch as Jin walked the visitors out. Sitting down next to you he took your hands staring in your eyes. “Tell me what you’re thinking sweetheart?” He asked, thumbs tracing back and forth over your knuckles. “Honestly, I don’t know Jin. On the one hand I’m like great! We know something; on the other it’s like great I’ve got the attention of a serial bomber who’s maimed one and killed three. I still feel sick about it; for all that we’ve just found out I still feel like we don’t know anything Jin. I almost wish that they had waited for more information before they came here to talk to us. I’m just so fucking frustrated!” Your voice escalating; holding your head down clutching it, taking a deep heavy sigh. Jin took his hand and steadily ran it up and down your back. “I know baby, I feel the same way right now, I know how frustrating this is; I’m right here with you. I want nothing more for this whole ordeal to be over. I hate living in fear, I hate seeing you live in fear and the fact that this asshole wants to hurt you!” Jin’s voice broke, the emotions he’d been pushing down trying to bubble their way out to the surface. “I just want you carefree and happy again babe.  I just want you relaxed and stressing out over clients or wedding planning with me. We haven’t even gotten to talk about what we would like to do for a wedding because of this bullshit. What should legitimately be one of the most mutually happiest times in our life with each other is fucking ruined right now. My girl should be able to look back at her engagement with the happiest of memories, not ones that make the bile rise up her stomach and make her want to vomit. Your joy is being stolen from you and I’m fucking furious there utterly nothing I can do about it.” The barrier that had been pushing down his emotions continue to crack break and wear down as he spoke. Big fat tears beginning to fall and run down his cheeks as his voice continue to escalate and crack “I only wanted to give you the world; give you every fucking thing that you deserve but instead I’ve given you creepy messages, photos of you covered in blood lastly almost your death. I almost killed you because I’m selfish and told you to stay. Every fucking minute that this goes on I’m reminded I almost got you killed.” Your eyes went wide and wild while your mouth hung open hearing Jin break down and seeing him sob. You had no idea that Jin was feeling guilty and responsible for the stalker; you knew of course that he was upset thinking it was the over all situation; but to hear that he personally felt responsible hurt you in a way you couldn’t adequately express in words. He sat there sobbing on the couch, hands on either side of his head crying, letting them fall freely on the hardwood floor. “Oh God, no, no no, Jin! Sweetheart no! Look at me.” You began, cupping his face wiping his tears ignoring your own that were starting and your nose that was already becoming damp. “Don’t you fucking dare feel responsible for this. You are so beautiful; do you know that? I’ve spent the last three and a half years with the most incredible soul. One that picked up a complete stranger in the middle of a storm, brought her to your home, took care of her and even put her to sleep in your bed. When she snuck out like a thief in the night the next morning, you went as far as to track her down and return her clothing that you personally laundered. You have loved me in a way that I was convinced only existed in the movies or dramas. You are a walking talking real life prince and you choose to love me. Plain ordinary me. You have made every single day of this relationship a pure pleasure. I think back to the night of our engagement and I’m still utterly speechless Jin. That night and that gorgeous scene that you created is embedded in me; I will forever remember that night as one of the most magical experiences ever. I’m so angry at you for thinking that this bastard has taken that from me, because I promise you he hasn’t. Nothing ever will. And I’m even more mad at you that you’ve been carrying around this guilt that you feel responsible. Jin, I know what I said about leaving and that wasn’t about us or even me, that was me thinking about keeping you safe, I don’t want anything to happen to you, I’m terrified that you’ll get hurt. That’s the only reason I suggested that maybe I should go. This was just me trying to keep you safe. You are not responsible for this at all Kim Seokjin do you understand me, and if I get any idea that you’re thinking or feeling this away again I’m going to kick your ass to hear me.” You finished with a laugh and sniffle, wiping his tears and then your own. Jin embraced you as tight as he could drawing you into his lap. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I know that I’m not responsible, but I can’t help but feel that maybe its my fault and-” “Stop It!” You said cutting him off immediately. “This isn’t on me and it damn sure as hell is hot isn’t on you. That bastard probably  shouldn’t have never been let out, but the police know who he is now, and they are going to stop at nothing to find him. This is truly almost over Jin.” Jin kissed you on your forehead, before resting his own against your shoulder holding you tight trying to gather himself. “I get to spend my life, with the most unbelievably amazing person. A man who every day makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the entire world. A man who goes out of his way to make me smile, take care of me, wipes my tears, and makes me orgasm to the point where I’m blissfully numb and feeling lighter than a feather. It is my absolute pleasure to be by your side Jin. No one or nothing could ever change that. Not some in their feelings ARMY, Antis, and damn sure not some insane dickhead. You and I sir, are a team; and together we are getting through this.” Jin held on tightly to her, her gentle scent of Moonstone and citrus soothing him and enbibed her strength. Jin honestly thought that he could feel her resolve flowing into him, fortifying his fragile nerves, erasing all the guilt he’d been harbouring, and easing his fears. She truly was a balm for his soul. Jin knew without a shadow of doubt that he could never be in love with anyone else the way that he was in love with her. She honestly made him a better man. “I love you.” Jin said meekly, feeling lighter than he had in over a month. “You sir, look as though you could use a bath, let’s go.” You slid off his lap extending your hand to him, accepting your offer; Jin happily let you lead him upstairs. 

After leaving the condo of Kim Seokjin and (Y/W/N), Detective Park headed over to the hospital where the blood drive was held and went up to the floor designated for blood services. “Dr. Choi, thank you so much for meeting today on such short notice.” Detective Park began. “I’m here about the blood drive that you held a few weeks ago and resulted in some blood being missing.” “Yes, is this normally the type of thing the police investigates, missing blood?” Dr. Choi asked casually. “When there’s a theft involved most like, when the blood has been used in a wave of ongoing crimes and stalking, absolutely.” Dr. Choi dropped his pen as his mouth flew open. “Let me explain to you how serious this situation has become. The blood missing from your donations was identify in a crime. A young woman is being stalked and photos of her with messages written in that same missing blood delivered to her office. Now that same young woman’s life was threatened even further by having a letter bomb sent to her office that could have killed her and her staff. Now we are going to talk about each one of your staff members that were involved with the drive.” “Sorry Detective Park, I wasn’t aware at the severity of the situation, please excuse my earlier attitude. There were a total of ten people working the drive not including me. Three nurses, six phlebotomist and another doctor, Dr. Manning.” “Of those individuals you just stated did anyone seem preoccupied, or sketchy in any way, or anything seem out of the ordinary since the time after the drive?” Dr. Choi twisted his lips as if he were chewing on rather to speak his mind or not. “Dr. Choi, I assure you even if its just gossip or rumor mill you let me sort that out, but I need to know if anything is coming to mind.” Detective Park said with an added measure of sternness to his voice. “One of our nurses Min Ji Ho, she’s been a little erratic lately; she’s always been a little bit of an off girl but lately its intensified.” “What do you mean by that?” “She’s the type that keeps to herself. As nurse part of having good bedside manner is being able to talk to patience and their families and put them at ease. She’s the sort that’s very abrupt, comes off a little cool. But then there are moments where she just erupts with giggles and laughs and smiles and wants to talk to everyone; its just strange.” Detective Park nodded as he absorbed and jotted down all the information. “Also, she has been missing work more frequently lately, currently she hasn’t been to work in the last two days.” “One last thing before I go, and this may seem strange. Out of all the names you mentioned before does anyone seem really familiar with the group BTS, you know the K-Pop group?” With that, Dr. Choi took a deep breathe and stood up. “Could you come with me please Detective Park?” He said. Dr Choi led Detective Park to the nursing station and pointed at a desk. “Does this qualify Detective Park? Dr. Choi said gesturing to the desk. Detective Park’s eyes brows met his hairlines as the hair on his arms stood on end and his blood ran cold. On the desk was covered in photos of BTS members, but one in particular Kim Seokjin. “Excuse me Yuna, you share a locker with Ji Ho right?” Dr. Choi asked, stopping a nurse. Yuna shuddered involuntarily before speaking. “Yes, doctor I do, I wish I didn’t though.” “Do you mind showing this Detective the locker please?” Walking behind the wall of the nurses station to where the lockers were located Yuna opened up the locker, posted to the inside of it was a full-length picture of Seokjin with messages written on sticky notes stuck to it ‘my handsome prince’ ‘my one true love’ ‘only I can love you’ ‘you deserve only the best Mr. Worldwide Handsome’ ‘Mr. Worldwide Handsome is not for the world, Only for me’. Detective Park had never experienced a chill like the one he got standing before that locker seeing the images and messages in a handwriting that he’d burned on the inside of his eye lids. “I’ve got to go! Thank You for all your help Dr. Choi.” “Wait Detective, one more thing before you go. If it is Ji Ho you’re looking for good luck finding her.” “What do you mean by that?” “She’s a master make-up artist. She can literally make herself look like anyone or anything for that matter.” Yuna said. “She never really felt like a pretty girl, so she started doing her make-up to look like pretty girls. She’s gotten so good at it that she didn’t look like her I.D. badge and had trouble getting into the building. She had to create a password with the desk for the days that she didn’t look like herself. She’s really good, its not just make up, but she uses putty to change the shape of her forehead, nose, cheekbones and chin. She really could look like anyone.” Yuna finished. “Thank you. Both of you have been a major help today.” Detective Park rushed out of the hospital, into his car and raced back to Seoul Police Station. “Chief Tuan, I need a search warrant and arrest warrant now for one Min Ji Ho. She’s definitely our stalker. She had access to the blood, her behavior as of late has been erratic and most importantly her work station and locker are filled with images and personally hand-written messages to Kim Seokjin. I don’t know how she connected with Jeong, but I’m convinced this is who we’re looking sir.” “Park get a full team together, I’ll call for a warrant.” A little under an hour later a full team had been gathered led by Detective Park it included another Detective Lee Michael, Sergeants Yin and Yoon affectionate called YingYang and several officers, the full Emergency Response Team and the Bomb Squad were also assembled. “Listen up everyone. We are dealing with two very dangerous individuals. One we know for certain is a convicted murderer and bomber. The second more than likely is a mentally disturbed woman who from those around her has stated she can look like anyone. Going into this home we are bringing in all occupants. If they are in the home they are to be immediately secured, thoroughly searched and brought in for questioning until we figure out exactly who is who. I don’t need to tell you to be careful, but I will tell you be vigilant. We are dealing with a bomber and who knows what kinds of traps could be set up at this location. Everyone be safe.” Detective Park tighten his Kevlar vest before pulling on his double shoulder holster and leading his team out.            

                                          Several Hours Earlier

You looked over at Jin utterly bored out of your mind. Jin sat next to you on the couch all long limbs and broad shoulders, legs casually crossed watching an old episode of one of his favorite shows, giving off that full chuckle that always made you smile. “Jiiiinniiii” you began to whine flopping over his lap staring up at him. Jin reached down and trailed his fingertips over your face. “Yes Love, what can I do for you?” Broad full smile accented by pouty lips shined down on you. “Jinni, I’m so bored babe. So unbelievably bored. I feel like we’ve done everything these past couple of days, watched moves, listen to music, played games, and yet I’m still just meh” You said blowing a raspberry and giving a thumb down sign. Jin sighed softly, he knew that you were feeling cooped up. It was part of your own duality that he loved; for as much as you were a homebody, you loved to go out, see a show, catch a movie, dinner followed by dancing, or a nightcap afterwards. The weekends since the bombing it had been work, home and grocery shopping. The one exception was your weekly dance class. Jin hated keeping you in away from the social life that you loved but he feared you being attacked. “I Got It!” You shot up from his lap, drawing one leg under the other, turning fully to face him on the couch. “We’re having a kiki! I Can’t go out, So I shall bring them in!” Jin gave you a surprise quizzical look, you could see his rebuttal already forming. “Before you object, we’ll keep it small. We’ll invite the boys, Jackie, oooh! I can finally use this as an opportunity to introduce Tammy and Yoongi. Oh Babe it will be perfect!” You squealed with happiness clasping your hands under your chin giving a wiggle of joy. Jin saw the look of pure delight on your face and he knew he couldn’t deny you. He hadn’t really seen you look this happy in a while and he knew you deserved it. “What about food?” “Umm.. We can do homemade pizza and wings! The boys love it when I do that, plus they love making their own pizzas and my wing sauces.” “You had me at homemade.” Jin said standing up from the couch. “Come on sweetheart lets go shopping.”

Later on, the two of you stood in the kitchen elbows deep in ingredients. “After tonight, I don’t think I want to prep or clean another chicken wing in my life.” Jin said looking at you over his shoulder. “How the hell did I get stuck on the wings anyway?” “Well that because 1) I have to make the dough. 2) I have to prepare all the ingredients for the pizza, including making the three base sauces for it. 3) I have to make the sauces for the wings. 4) Last and certainly not least, I hate touching poultry skin, you know I hate touching poultry skin and you do it because you love me.” You blew him a kiss and wink making him giggle. Jin sighed. “You’re lucky you’re so cute and you’re right I do love you.” Jin winked at you and your stomach became full of butterflies. “Three years later and you still have that affect on me Mr. Kim.” “I better still have that affect on you.” Jin said with a full laugh.

Hours later the two of you were all set for the party to begin. With Bangtan living next door it didn’t take long for the guest to arrive. “Okay let me make sure I have everything,” you began looking over all the toppings and sauces. “pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, onions, black olives, ground beef, bell peppers, jalles, grilled chicken, grilled pork chops, grilled steak, six different types of cheese, olive oil, classic pizza sauce, white sauce, BBQ, stuff so Tae can make his weird kimchi pizza.” You shuddered at the thought of the kimchi pizza. “Various seafood so Jin can have his seafood pizza. Maybe I should make fries…” Jin came sliding into the kitchen bumping into before placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “Babe we’ve got more than enough food, you don’t need to make fries.” “Yeah but what’s more classic than fries, pizza and wings.” You replied wiggling your eyebrows and giving him a huge cheesey smile. Jin sighed. “I’ll start peeling” “YAY!” Thirty minutes later all of Bangtan arrived along with Namjoon’s girlfriend Jackie. “Hey Guys! I’m so excited to see everyone.” You said, greeting them all with hugs and kisses. You grabbed Yoongi by the hand and led him to the couch. “Yoongi, let me talk to you for a second. I’ll be honest with you; I’m trying to set you up tonight. I have friend coming over, she’s cutes, cynical, sarcastic but really sweet. She’s kinda like a female you but with severely less rapping skills. Her name is Tammy and she’s the head of P.R for my firm. I think you two would be amazing together.” “Oh No, (Y/N) I don’t know if-” just then the doorbell rang, and you shot up to answer. “That must be her!” “Hey Bitch!” “Ugh hi, with your raggedy ass.” Tammy answered back. “Okay everyone, except Jin and Jackie, this is Tammy. Tammy in order that is Namjoon, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and last but certainly not least this is Yoongi.” You gave Jin the signal and he gave Yoongi a little shove closer to Tammy. “Hi.” Yoongi gave Tammy a full gummy smile and you practically floated away. “Okay who’s ready to make their own pizza!?” You cheered. Leading everyone into the kitchen you pointed out all the toppings and sauces for the pizza. “Tae, I even got all the fixings for your weird kimchi pizza you like making.” Everyone in the kitchen who’d experience the horror of the kimchi pizza gave a collective shudder. “Hey! Its not that bad, its delicious.” Tae protested, offended everyone would mock his creation. “Who am I kidding though, I know why you’re all here, my homemade wing sauces.” A cheer erupted from the kitchen. “Okay, so here we go, the classic BBQ, spicy bbq, mustard sauce, honey mustard, buffalo, and everyone’s favorite, The Sweet Heat my famous sweet buffalo red pepper garlic sauce! The wings are already cooked with salt, pepper, sake, and mirin. So, all you have to do is pop a few in the air fryer to warm them up that way they stay nice and crispy then toss them in the sauce of your choice. The pizzas will only take five to ten minutes to cook depending on how thick you make your crust and I’ve got batches of freshly made crispy fries. Oh and of course we’ve got bottles and bottles and bottles of soju to wash it all down, along with beer and as always, a full bar! Let’s party y’all!”

“Everyone get into position and on my count. Detective Lee and I will knock on the door first see if anyone is home or answers the door. On my count rush the door and not a second before. Just in case it’s trapped on the other side of that door.” Detective Park gave his final set of orders before leaving the surveillance area near the home of Min Ji Ho. Casually approaching the front gate Detectives Park and Lee rang the door bell and waited; a static filled voice echoed out from the other side of the intercom “Hello, Ms. Min this is Detective Park and Detective Lee from Seoul Police Department we need to talk to you.” Static once again came from the intercom. On Detective Park’s signal members of the Emergency Response Team breached the gate and went charging for the front door flanking either side of the two lead detectives. Once more Detective Park made his presence known by pounding on the front door. “Min Ji Ho! This is the Seoul Police Department, we have a warrant to search the premises” They were greeted with silence; on his command the ERT team rammed in the front door and waited before entering. They cautiously entered the home looking down measuring each step taken, nervous to set off a potential trap; just then the back door slammed shut, members of the ERT charged forward making their way towards the back down. An explosion rocked the back of the house coming from the kitchen. Detective Park, Detective Lee and Sergeant Yin were flung against the side wall. The house was soon flooded with the remaining members of the ERT team coming in to check on those inside the house. Detective Lee tried his best to shake off the cobwebs from the blast, his vision blurry, ears ringing, he saw Detective Park’s mouth moving unable to make out what was being said he simply shook his head and closed his eyes, he just need to rest for a minute. Detective Park picked up Detective Lee and rushed him outside as quickly as possible to waiting EMS. “Detective Park are you alright, what the fuck happened in there?” Chief Tuan asked Detective Park quelled down the wave of nausea that threaten to disrupt his life at the moment, his head was pounding and wanted nothing more than to vomit and curl up on the cool tile of a bathroom floor, but he knew how important he needed to be at this scene; to be the one to catalogue whatever was inside that home to bring a young couple that reminded him so much of him and his wife peace. “I’m not sure Sir, we went in carefully, concerns about traps. Some one was definitely inside the house. We heard a door in the back bang shut, twenty seconds later the explosion.” At that moment a communication came over the radio “Suspects fleeing in an old brown conversion van, partial I.D. on the plates 2764 please be advise and on the look out” Anger overriding his bodily discomfort, Detective Park roared and kicked a trash can sending it flying. After the bomb squad had made a full sweep of the home, Detective Park, a slightly concussed Detective Lee, and Chief Tuan entered the home. “Chief, Detectives, you’re going to want to see upstairs” Officer Lee Hoon-So motioned for the men to him. Upstairs in a bare backroom, wall to wall images of Kim Seokjin and his fiancé. Photos of Jin from concert promotions, magazines, images taking from videos online and printed. One of the more disturbing images, a photo printed from the Dispatch interview the couple did, addressing their stalker, the fiancé’s skin painted over so that she appeared white in appearance, a picture of Min Ji Ho taped over her beautiful smile. On the wall incoherent ramblings confessions of love, need, want, bitterness and hate for Jin’s fiancé. “I want everything in this room photographed, documented, fingerprinted and collected.” “Chief Tuan, Detectives you’re needed downstairs, there’s something you need to see.” Sergeant Yan advise, standing in the doorway of the bedroom. In the basement of the home they found what can only be described as a make shift cell. A lonely dingy cot against a bare wall, a separated food tray, a sink and toilet against the opposite wall, a make shift metal door. On the opposite wall of the sink and toilet photos of Min Ji Ho, more plastered on the ceiling above the cot. In the middle of the room a large table filled with various bits of metal, wires, watch pieces, batteries and various powders. “This is a bomb making station if I’ve ever seen one.” Sergeant Nam of the bomb squad stated. “If you look here, this bomb was in the middle of being made, its not quite finished yet, but I can tell from the amount of powder weighted out and the number of connectors in place, this was meant to be huge.” “FUCK! We fucking had them and now they’re gone” Detective Park yelled again. “I want every available body on the streets looking for that damn van, Jeong Hyung Soo and Min Ji Ho! Anyone who’s not pertinent to the collection of evidence, ERT or the bomb squad I want them on the street and looking for those two now.” 

  The pop-up pizza and wings party was the best idea you could have had. Everyone had missed being together having fun and being carefree; the potential romance between Yoongi and Tammy made it that much more epic for you If this works out this heffa is going to owe me so big! You thought to yourself gleefully watching the pair help make each other’s pizza and sample their wing creations. Several hours into the party you all had just wrapped up an epic VLive episode of Eat Jin, in which Jin hosted a pizza contest. A prize was to be awarded for the best-looking pizza and the best tasting pizza. The pizza tasting was a blind testing and Jin choose you to be the taste tester. After nearly gagging to death on Tae’s bizarre sausage kimchi pizza, you had no choice but to declare Jin the winner for best tasting, after all he did use your favorite toppings for his creation. A knock on the door interrupted an epic game of Uno. “I’ll get it babe, don’t let Jungkook win!” Jin said getting up, kissing you on the forehead before answering the door. “Detective Park” Jin said wearily. “come in please.” Detective Park entered with two men unfamiliar to him. “(Y/N), can you come here babe?” You looked at your guests surprised. “Ahh, yeah be right there. Excuse me guys.” “Sorry to interrupt you two and you have company, is there somewhere we can talk more privately, this is important?” “Yes of course, Jin’s office is just behind us, I’ll go let our guests know.” You said walking back to where you group of friends still gathered playing cards. “Hey guys, the police are here for Jin and I, please stay keep having fun, we just need to find out what’s going on.” Rejoining the men in the room you sat down next to Jin opposite the visitors. “Sweetheart, this is Chief Tuan and Sergeant Nam of the bomb squad.” You nodded in agreement. “Okay, so what brings the Chief of Police, a member of the bomb squad and Detective Park to our home at nearly 10 p.m.?” You asked tersely. You didn’t mean to sound so short and rude, but your emotions couldn’t help it. It felt like you were finally having a night where you were able to forget about your troubles and have fun as a couple the way you once did and suddenly the killjoys arrived, popping your balloon of happiness and remind you what a depressing fearful state you actually where in. “We know who’s responsible for all of this.” Detective Park said, you sucked in a deep breathe, the air somehow feeling trapped in your throat. “What? Are you serious? Does this mean its over you caught the bastard?” Detective Park took a deep sigh and sadly shook his head no. The hope that was beginning to build in you quickly deflated as the you had on Jin’s arm got tighter. “Earlier today I met with a Dr. Choi, he was the physician heading up the blood drive. After interviewing him in depth he spoke to me about a nurse, Min Ji Ho, whose behavior lately has been erratic and unreliable. When we looked at her desk and locker it was evident she was well versed in BTS and that you Mr. Kim are her favorite. It was enough to get a search warrant for her home. When we got there someone was definitely in the home, once we entered there was an explosion and some one fled the scene in a vehicle. We do believe that Min Ji Ho and Jeong Hyung Soo are working together.” Somehow hearing those two names together gave you some sort of relief. They were no longer anonymous, they were no longer nameless, faceless terrorizers to you and Jin. “So, they got away.” Jin said bitterly. “Mr. Kim, we know how frustrating this situation still is for you and your fiancé, but we know who they are, we know what they are driving, and I’ve got every available police officer in Seoul looking for them.” Chief Tuan said. “What’s the connection between the two, is he a family member of hers?” You asked. “That’s not clear as of this time, we do believe he was staying there. There was this odd room in the basement of her home that looked like a makeshift cell, there was a table in the middle of the room filled with bomb making materials, the signature identical to Jeong’s.” Detective Park stated and confirmed by Sergeant Nam. “I’d like you two to be extremely cautious. This woman is more than just dangerous; she’s a master of disguise. According to her co-workers she never felt very attractive and as a result she became a master make-up artist including the use of putty to alter the appearance of her cheeks, nose, forehead and chin. The pictures we collected from her home look nothing like the picture on her work I.D. Be extra vigilant.” Detective Park stated. “Jin the premiere party is this weekend. If she could honestly look like anyone she could easily be there.” You said worried. Jin nodded, face tight, lips pursed together in deep thought. “We are currently working on a plan for that.” Chief Tuan said, “I’ve got my gadget guys working on something special just as a precaution.” “A precaution for what?”  Jin asked. “I’m confident that they are plotting something the night of the premiere. I’m working on a tracking device just in case you two get separated.” “That won’t even be an issue, she’s not leaving my side at all that night.” Jin said flatly. “I’m confident that you would do everything to keep her close Mr. Kim but I agree with Detective Park when he says we need to be on the highest of alerts and awareness.” Chief Tuan said.  You and Jin exchanged glances; and unspoken understanding of things changing, hopefully for the better. By the time the conversation with Detective Park, Chief Tuan and Sergeant Nam was over, your friends had already taken the liberty to clean up the extra food in the kitchen, wiping down the island and the kitchen table, everyone had a roll in the clean you noticed Yoongi and Tammy rinsing off the dishes and placing them in the dishwasher.

A scream of pure raged echoed and bounced around filling the van as it sped through the streets of Seoul, Min Ji Ho was enraged. Thrashing her body back, kicking her feet, flailing her arms and screaming. Pure rage filled, angry from the depths of her core screaming. “HOW! HOW! HOW DID THEY FIND ME!!!” She bellowed. Jeong Hyun Soo nervously tightened and released his grip on the steering wheel as he drove into the industrial area of Seoul, driving down a back alley towards the bay door of a warehouse; quickly he got out opening the door, driving inside and closing the door behind them. Min Ji Ho continued to rage, throwing things, kicking over a makeshift shelf that held various paints cans, cleaner, bottles, old magazines and old scraps of cloth. She couldn’t understand how she had been discovered, she turned her fury and raged to Jeong Hyun Soo who had been standing silent watching flinching every time a new item went clattering to the ground. “You Promised ME!” Min Ji Ho screeched. “You said that you would get rid of that thing for me! You said that you would do everything for me! You said you would fix it! That bitch is still there and now, NOW the police are looking for me and we had to blow up my house!” She ran up to him, tears streaming down her face, mewing and whining to Jeong. “You promised me you would make it all better…”  she cooed, her lip and chin quivered as she looked up at him, resting her face in the palm of his large hands. “I promise Min Ji Ho, I’ll make you happy again.” The first time they had met, Jeong Hyun Soo barely noticed Min Ji Ho; but then she came as she had ever so often with the resident physician and he saw her, his lost love, Jo Min Ja. Looking at her, he confessed to her immediately; how much he loved her, how much he missed her, how sorry he was that he had hurt her, he never meant to hurt her only that man that claimed he could love her more than he did. He blurted out everything to her. Min Ji Ho simply smiled at him and patted him on the cheek. Jeong knew in that moment he would do any and everything to be with her. Five years later after being released he was assigned to a group home that was too much. It was too loud, too dirty, and he wasn’t used to having to share his space with another person. He thought about killing the men he shared the room with everyday. Fortunately for them a small electrical fire in the kitchen area resulted in the fire department being called and the group home being unfit. He wandered around the streets of Seoul for weeks lost, and then if by some miracle he found her. She was sitting at an outside table of a café eating, he slowly approached her, mumbling unsure of what to say really hoping she would recognize him. She gasped at his appearance, startled, clutching her purse ready to bolt. “Jo Min Ja…” He mumbled, he saw the flash of recognition in her eyes as she motioned for him to sit, she remembered him, he smiled his broken teeth smile and sat down across from her. “You look hungry, here eat the rest of my gimbap, I’ll order more.” Her voice was sweeter than honey water, he knew he would be forever in her service.

You laid in Jin’s arms, one of your R&B playlists drifting around in the background, neither one of you were tired or wanted to focus on the tv, you just laid in bed listening to music; every so often Jin would place tender gentle kisses to your temple, gently rubbing his hand up and down your arm. “Jin?” “Yes Sweetheart?” “I’m really not sure how I’m suppose to feel now. I know before when we had a name I was upset wishing we had known more when the police first told us about Jeong, but now knowing that its not just him but some deranged woman, who may I add, can look like anyone is involved, I’m just not sure if I should be feeling some sort of relief or what right now.” You slipped out of the security in his arms, bringing your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. Jin sighed heavily, everything you’d just expressed he was also feeling. He wasn’t sure if he should be feeling happy that the police knew who was responsible for upsetting his life, threatening his woman, and worst of all attempting to kill her. He wanted to feel better knowing that names and faces responsible for all his turmoil would be caught soon, but for now he couldn’t; they were still on the loose, still a credible threat to his family and their wellbeing. Jin took a long look at her, her lower face tucked behind her arms, everything from the nose up being visible, her eyes a little sad; he sat up in bed, turning his body to fully face her. He gently untucked her limbs from the human ball she curled herself into and lifted her chin to meet her eyes before leaning in to give her a kiss. “Hey, listen,” Jin paused, weighting out exactly what he wanted to say to her, knowing she needed comfort more than anything in these moments. “I understand how you feel right now. I’m relieved that we know who’s responsible. They are no longer anonymous, we don’t have to jump at unknown shadows anymore, instead we know the face of one of them; the other might be a little harder but she’ll be caught too. For now, I don’t want you to worry about it.” He said smiling fondly at you. “All I want is for you to think about what we will be wearing this weekend. I have a confession to make; I plan on matching you. Whatever color dress you choose I’ll have on a suit or a shirt that matches your dress. We will be the most gorgeous couple on the red carpet, naturally, and I know that it may take some time for you to make a dress decision and I probably should have told you this a few weeks ago to give you more time to plan but…” “Kim Seokjin! You would wait until four days before a red-carpet event to tell me you planned on matching me. I’m not even sure I’m wearing which is why I planned in being in the streets all day tomorrow…” Jin smiled contentedly watching you rant, hands flailing to and fro, his plan to distract you working as he intended. Truth be told he’d already ordered your dress as well as his tuxedo to match it over a month ago, it was to be delivered tomorrow. Jin gently tackled you laughing, rolling his body on top of yours, he slid his lips across yours gently, your mouth opening as your tongue flicked out and licked his lips inviting him in. Pressing his full lips against yours, he caressed the inside of your mouth before sucking on your tongue. You moaned in his mouth and Jin’s cock twitched; he was well aware that just about everything about you turned him on, but there was something about you moaning that just drove him crazy. Your moan was the ultimate praise kink to Jin, you sounding like you were having the ultimate pleasurable experience because of the things that he was doing to you, made everything hard, his nipples, his cock, even his balls tighten. “I need you, I need to please you.” Jin hungrily took your mouth pulling you up in the middle of the bed, he kissed the outline of your jaw down to your collar bone as he took his time sliding up the tank top you were wearing. Kissing the area of your cleavage and along the inside of your breast, “Tell me how to please you tonight, please.” You moaned. This was needy Jin. Every so often Jin would get in these moods where he would become a total submissive in the bedroom; he wanted you to completely control him, he going above and beyond to please you not achieving his own physical pleasure until you commanded him to. You raked your nails through his hair before grabbing the back of it pulling it exposing his neck. “Mmm. Does Mr. Kim need me to tell him how to make me cum tonight?” A deep shiver of pure anticipation ran through Jin. “Please.” His pupils were fully dilated, his cock hard and pulsing pressed against his thigh. “Undress me Jin.” You gave your first command and heard the sigh of pleasure come from him; quickly he finished removing your tank top and silk shorts. “On the floor, kneeling back against the bed, tilt your head back.” He licked his lips slowly, getting into position a look of pure wonderment spreading across his face. “Now I’m going to straddle your face. If you do a good job and make me cum, I might just reward you.” “Yes Miss.” You got into position on the bed, squatting over his face you saw him lick his lips greedily before lowering yourself on to them. You’d done this before and you both knew no matter how much he wanted to taste you, he would wait fully until you gave him the command. Deciding to tease him, you undulated your hips, rubbing your womanhood over his lips, his nose bumping against your clit a gentle moan slipping from your lips. You felt Jin’s body tremble underneath you, all of his restraint being tested as you used him to your pleasure. Spreading your hips farther apart, you continued to bump your clit against Jin’s nose, you gripped the bedsheets tighter as you felt your pleasure building and building; a sharper deeper moan escaped from your lips; you felt Jin’s body complete tense under you. Your orgasm was so close you felt the familiar wave and clench in your lower stomach as you continued to grind on Jin’s face. “Jiiiin. Lick!” You whined out, your thighs beginning to tremble, Jin’s hands immediately flew to your hips, his thumbs finding their familiar placemarks as his tongue dove into your wetness. “Oh, Fuck Jin!” You came instantly, his hands squeezing your hips, the stimulation to your clit, the swirl of his tongue inside your hole. Your body bucked against the assault to your wet heat, Jin’s tongue was relentless probing every inch of your cavern, lick, curling, swirling his tongue deep into, through your orgasm and after it was finish. You were bordering on overstimulation, Jin wouldn’t stop until you told him to, but you couldn’t form words. Jin was a fucking carnal animal. His face was engulfed with the feel, and scent of your wet lust and he was aching to be apart of your pleasure, he loved being used as your dildo, it was the most sinful, hedonistic, filthy, dirty sexual thing that you would do to him and he absolutely craved it. The smell of you was driving him insane, his arms were twitching by his side, as the soft crescents of his fingernails were digging into his palms. Then your essence actually dripped out of you and landed on his lips, his entire body stiffened with need, he wanted nothing more and to take a full lick of his lips and taste the gift you gave him, but he couldn’t risk it. He knew protocol when you were in control and he needed you too much tonight to risk being punished and getting denied. When you finally allowed him to taste you he was pure savage beast. He couldn’t get enough of you in his mouth, gripping your hips pulling your dripping wetness into his mouth, he plunged his tongue, maneuvering it in every possible way he could imagined. He sucked on your lips gathering up every sip of your ambrosia, he pulled you down further on his mouth so that he could wrap his full plump lips on your pearl. Your body bucked and shuddered in his arm as your chorus of ‘fuck’ became his favorite song. Jin growled in your pussy and you screamed. You were on your third orgasm and you didn’t know how much more you could actually take. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist holding you firmly to his face and he just would not stop his attack. He was completely enthralled with the taste of you and he was determined to drink every drop. “Jin Stop.” You whined out breathlessly body still quivering and convulsing in his arms, the aftershock from your third orgasm still singing through you. You felt his chest rise and fall underneath you, his hot breath on your lower lips making you shiver. Jin felt the pre-cum flowing freely from the head of his cock, he couldn’t remember ever being this hard and this worked up, the realization of his heavy swollen cock making him groan hard. “Jin fuck me and take your reward.” You barely manage to speak out, you were still trying to catch your breath when he spoke. “Permission to speak Miss?” “Yes Jinni?” you replied breathlessly, hands still clutching the bedding. “May my reward be tasting you some more?” “You felt him smile against your lips.” “Oh Hell No!” You scrambled out of his grasps and towards the opposite edge of the bed, still naked and quivering. Oh, he’s trying to fucking kill me, he’s not going to fucking eating me and orgasming me to death. He’s bussing that nut that he has and I’m putting me to sleep I’m tired! Fuck his mouth though… A shiver ran through you. “Matter of fact, clean me up, take me to the shower.” Jin stood up, his full erection peeking up through the top of his boxers, walking over to your side of your bed, he collected you his arms, before turning around and walking you into the bathroom. Jin carefully placed you down on the bathroom counter and turned on the shower. “Strip.” Your mouth water watching the fullness of his erection bob up and down as he stood there in front of you. “Now take us inside.” Following orders, Jin carefully picked you up from the counter and walked the two of you in the shower and watched you. You licked your lips before bending down and taking him in your mouth, relishing the taste of him before the water rinsed it away. Fastening your lips around the full mushroom of his tip, you swirled your tongue around the contours of his head and slid the length of your tongue over his slit. A keening whimper slipped from Jin’s lip and you felt him tense afraid his reward would be taken from him. Standing up you smiled at him. “Now, I do believe that I said, ‘fuck me and take your reward’” Jin looked down at your smirking before lifting you up pressing you against the shower wall and sliding deep inside of you. The moan that sang from your core sounded through the bathroom. Jin had already set a steady pace, pounding into you; the feeling of him sliding in and out of your tight pulsing wetness, the hot water drumming on your skin, Jin tweaking your left nipple, the overstimulation was too much. You came quick and hard, jerking in his arms, your body sliding up and down the tile as Jin continued to thrust deeply inside you, his own pace quickening as his moments lost some of their fluidity. “Hold on tight to me.” Jin growled out as you tried your best wrap your arms around his neck. You leaned in and bit gently on the lobe of his ear; you felt the sharp intake of air from him as hot jets of cum painted the inside of your walls. After Jin thoroughly emptied himself inside of you, he took his time washing you from head to toe, as you leaned against the shower wall, eyes fluttering, barely able to stay awake. “Come on baby, let’s put you to bed.” Jin said with full smile and gentle chuckle before kissing you and taking you back in his arms to carry you to bed. He sat you down on the ottoman as he made the bed, you smiled curling up to watch him; you were asleep before he was done putting on the fresh sheets.

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🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻Now say the fuck as much as you want now lol 😂

You Bet Your Ass I’m going to say exactly 72 things about myself. Yes, I counted. Although I’m bad at math so I might be wrong.

Just a bunch of bullshit under the cut I guess? (I don't have 72 stories to conjure up lmao)

1. I get angry when people make me do things when I could be taking a nap2. Apparently I'm scary when this happens3. Y'know when Jyushi does those noodle arms? I can Do That4. That's part of the reason why I got the nickname "Noodles" in elementary school5. But do not be fooled, these long skinny arms can do 100 push-ups6. The simple ones at the knee, not the feet7. Speaking of athletic stuff, I was known for being pretty good at basketball in high school8. Probably because for the three years prior to high school my dad and I would shoot hoops for about an hour every day9. Well, he would shoot hoops for an hour. I would shoot for 30 minutes. Dude had stamina10. He even taught me trick shots! At one point I got to be pretty good at shooting while spinning mid-jump11. Despite this, I've only ever played one actual game of basketball in my life12. It wasn't even a real game, it was like a fundraiser-type deal where the seniors had to do audience requests while we were playing13. At least it was better than what the seniors my sophomore year did. Donkey basketball. Poop Everywhere.14. One year my dad participated in the school's alumni basketball game15. I don't think the other guys on his team took him seriously because he was way older than the rest of them16. He sure showed them B)17. Because of this, my history teacher told me he was scared of my dad. "Did you see your dad's calves during that basketball game?! They were huge!"18. Anyway, I'm talking way too much about my dad and basketball (but to be fair, they are both very good)19. Even though I used to like reading a lot as a kid, I pretty much dislike it now20. I always find myself re-reading sentences over and over again21. Barely even reading a chapter makes me sleepy22. And sometimes it can be just so... boring.23. I don't even read that much fanfiction, so chances are if I read someone's stuff, I Really Really Like It24. However, the Artemis Fowl series is the greatest piece of literature literally ever and is always worth a re-read, my dislike of reading be damned25. The first fandom I drew anything for was InvaderZIM26. But the first fandom I actively participated in was The Lorax fandom... Or I guess, the Onceler fandom.27. It was also my first tumblr fandom, so all that stuff is still on this blog28. Deep, deep, deep on this blog29. At that point in time my URL was turtlescience--because I like turtles a lot!30. I have approximately 2 shrines in my room made out of stuffed turtles and turtle statues that friends and family have bought for me over the years31. And keep buying for me32. Seriously, I don't need any more, how do I tell them to stop33. I always bring my stuffed turtle named Tortellino wherever I'm going to sleep, though34. He's the perfect size and shape for hugging! I wish I could have him with me all the time35. Before Tortellino, I had a smaller turtle named Teewee, short for Turtly-Wurtly36. Not as great a hugger, but it had more sentimental value because I stole it got it from my mom (she didn't even realize that it used to be hers)37. Sometimes I wish I could just, like. Buy a bunch of toys from the toy aisle38. Oh shit, wait39. Where the FUCK did I put my nerf sword??40. Shit.41. I also have a huge box full of nerf guns somewhere at home42. I got all of them at Goodwill on my birthday a few years ago43. I need to find those too, shit44. I think my dad actually gave one of the biggest ones to one of my second cousins like Right In Front Of My Eyes45. That's kind of fucked up, right? Like, sure, I haven't played with them in like 3 years, but I didn't say I was done with them46. Although if I said anything about it, I would have looked like a spoiled child, and that's probably bad47. On the topic of toys, the basement of my parents' house is absolutely filled to the brim with toy cars48. My dad is a collector and used to sell them on summer weekends49. When I was little, I was forced to go with him and my mom to toy shows and car shows50. It was Boring. And. Hot. As. Hell.51. My sister used to go with us too but then grew old enough to stay home by herself52. But apparently not old enough to take care of me. Hecker.53. Real talk tho? My sister is the baes knaes54. You know the hijab emoji? She made the initial design for the pitch for that, and she ended up in a lot of news articles!! So cool!!55. Making emojis is part of her job kinda, so she made quite a few of the designs you see on your phone56. And she also makes book covers for short stories! She even got an award for one of them57. She's pretty much the reason that I changed my second major from Film to Graphic Design. She Opened My Eyes58. And THANK GOD I changed my major from Film. I've only taken one class and it is literally the most stressful thing ever59. I only thought I could do Film because I took a video editing class once and it was really fun matching the video to the music60. Coming up with an idea to execute is STRESSFUL, finding actors is STRESSFUL, and using the camera is STRESSFUL61. Actually in that video editing class, I did end up breaking the only camera we had, so I guess that was kind of foreshadowing in hindsight62. Back to my sister, she's actually my best friend and also the yin to my yang63. She's the tsukkomi and I'm the boke. Together we are the perfect comedy duo64. However, despite being on the same wavelength a majority of the time and also both of us being artists/writers, for some reason we can never collaborate on anything65. We've come up with a lot of really cool story ideas, but for some reason we never execute them66. We can't even collaborate on one picture lmao67. Wanna hear one of the best ideas we've had? Four words. Murder Mystery Dating Sim. Shit, dude.68. I'm a little worried about people stealing our idea, but I doubt anyone would read this far so I think it's fine69. (Hehe) My sister also introduced me to our Hella Rad Buddy, Chavez. Probably the most bullied person on the planet. A true Karamatsu.70. Before I even met Chavez, my sister would tell me stories about her and talk about how we're so similar71. And yeah, we're pretty much the same person, the only difference being that she is like, SUPER thirsty for Will Graham72. Anyway, she brings an element to our group (not sure what. victim?) that makes us the perfect comedy trio known as Reservematsu The Stankhouse, and we’re gonna take the world by storm

[skivvysupreme]

“Heroes Never Die” - Kurt & New Directions, Kurt/Blaine

continuing my new favorite thing of throwing Kurt and Blaine into videogames... the world could always use more heroes. :)

AKA the New Directions play Overwatch, and Kurt makes a new friend AKA I, Skivvy, would very much like to be at home playing Overwatch, but I’m not off work yet

@whatstheproblembaby​ thanks for looking this over as a non-player, lol. hope it makes sense! I don’t know how many of you fellow klainers/gleeks play, but here are some references for anyone who doesn’t *know* the game and wants a little more clarification! you’ve probably seen some of these around tumblr?

the battle map: King’s Row Kurt’s team: Mercy | Pharah | Genji | Widowmaker | Tracer | D.Va enemy team: Lucio | Reinhardt | Symmetra | Torbjorn | McCree | Soldier76

part 1 of whatever? 

2000 words | read on AO3

“Kurt, I need heals!” 

“Then you shouldn’t have run in alone and then gotten stuck in an enclosed space where I can’t heal you, Sam,” Kurt sing-songs into his headset, keeping his wing-suited Mercy attached to Artie’s jet-packed Pharah as they fly around the point area they’re trying to keep control of in King’s Row. Besides the chance to get a good look at the beautiful, futuristic London panorama around them, sticking with Pharah allows Kurt a bird’s-eye view of who needs help. As Mercy, he can see Genji’s low health through the walls, Sam hiding from their enemies in a little room behind the point with a bright red and white plus symbol over him.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you’d switched characters like I asked. Don’t pick Genji if you don’t know what you’re doing,” Artie says, firing off a rocket in Sam’s general direction for no other reason than to express his bitterness.

Kurt shakes his head. Artie is obsessed with Genji, and skillfully plays Genji as his main character, but Sam had snagged him as soon as the game started and stubbornly refused to switch. 

“Like you never get hurt as Genji? I never get to practice him in matches because you always take him!” 

“I ALWAYS TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE’S MY MAIN! And you just jumped in there like an idiot--”

“I was going to knock out their Reinhardt from behind, I didn’t realize they'd gotten their Symmetra on the point, too!” Sam whines, frantically spamming the healing request button. Genji calls out over the team chat, “I need healing!”

“If you’d picked your own main instead of stealing someone else’s, you could’ve healed yourself,” Artie snaps, referring to Soldier: 76′s biotic field, a handy little bubble of healing energy that he can use on himself and his teammates. 

Ignoring Artie and his salty attitude, Sam’s Genji keeps calling out, “I need healing! I need healing! I need healing!”

Kurt presses the acknowledgement button (”Understood,” Mercy responds in her soft Swiss-German accent) and ignores the healing request. “BOYS! If you don’t shut up and focus, I’m not healing either one of you. Come on, we can win this one!”

“Can someone do something about this fucking Lucio?!” Santana snarls in frustration over the voice chat. 

Kurt turns briefly in the air to watch the enemy healer. Lucio has been a problem this entire game, deftly dodging their team’s fire and keeping his own team protected and mobile with well-timed speed and healing boosts. At the moment, he’s circling around on the point as though it’s a very small roller rink, attempting to capture it for his team, though the capture rate is slow because he’s on his own and keeps wall-riding off the point to dodge Santana’s Widowmaker. Kurt sees her sniper shots missing over and over, uncharacteristic for Santana and her main; her bullet streams come close to Lucio’s head but can’t land, and body shots are quickly made irrelevant by Lucio’s self-healing ability. Whoever’s playing him is good.

Santana swears when Widowmaker takes a couple hits from the enemy Torbjorn’s rapid-fire turret and backs off a little, Kurt quickly flying over to her for a quick healing boost before he links back up with Artie. “We’re running out of time and I can’t get him off the point, he’s too fast!”

“Where the hell is--? Oh, there she is,” Kurt mutters, hearing Tracer’s gleeful “Whee!” as Brittany speeds her towards the enemy Lucio. She blinks behind him, in front of him, behind him again, shooting all the time and maneuvering faster than Lucio can catch her. When he finally gets frustrated enough to try and push her back with a sound wave, Tracer rewinds, flipping behind him and taking him out before he can turn around. 

“Wooo!” Brittany yells, laughing before she blinks away again. “Got him, babe!”

“That’s my girl,” Santana sighs, resuming her careful attacks on the enemy Torbjorn’s and Symmetra’s arrangement of turrets.

Genji calls, “I need healing!”

The enemy Reinhardt, who Artie and Kurt have successfully kept distracted with rockets up until this point, finally turns and unleashes his special, ultimate ability. “HAMMER DOWN!!!” he shouts, throwing down said hammer and sending a burst of fiery energy rumbling through the ground to catch Tina’s D.Va and knock her off her feet as she tries to sneak up behind him.

“He solo-ulted me!” Tina wails, D.Va’s mech legs wiggling uselessly in the air like an overturned beetle as the Reinhardt marches ominously towards her. From overhead, Kurt can see D.Va’s tiny human figure flailing inside the mech suit, powerless to escape; it would be a comical sight if she weren’t about to take a Reinhardt hammer to the face. 

Genji calls, “I need healing!”

Artie and Kurt react in tandem, Artie shooting a concussive rocket to push the Reinhardt off his path and Kurt swooping down to Tina to give her a power boost in case the Reinhardt moves more aggressively than anticipated.

“Thanks!” D.Va chirps, a little thumbs-up icon appearing above her. Tina and Artie team up to take out the Reinhardt, pummeling him with shots from behind and breaking down his shield from the front until he’s finally eliminated. Tina’s D.Va turns her attention to the enemy McCree and Soldier: 76, and Artie and Kurt get back in the air to assist from above. 

Thirty seconds remain. 

“Enemy turret destroyed,” they hear Widowmaker announce in her smooth French accent, the sound merging nicely with Santana’s satisfied snickering in the background. 

“Symmetra and her turrets are out, too!” Brittany adds, activating a voice line so that Tracer calls out her cheerful, high-pitched signature: “Cheers, love! The cavalry’s here!”

Then, just as Kurt notices that the enemy Lucio, Symmetra, Torbjorn, and Reinhardt are storming back to the point way faster than they should be after dying so soon, Genji announces, “The enemy has a teleporter.” 

At Sam’s prompting, Genji also calls, “I need healing!”

“Crap - everybody go, we have to clear it out! Destroy the teleporter if you find it!” Kurt calls. The entire team moves as quickly as they can, including Sam’s Genji, who darts out of his hiding spot so that Kurt’s Mercy can finally heal him.

Then, several things happen all at once, beginning with Kurt’s least favorite words in the entire game. 

“IT’S HIGH NOON...” 

Kurt barely has time to react before the enemy McCree groans in agony, his deadly ult interrupted by a swift headshot that prevents him from taking anyone else out. 

“No the fuck it’s not,” Santana hisses as the rest of the team laughs and cheers over the voice chat. Kurt sees her Widowmaker jump down from her perch to join the team on the ground and start shooting at the enemies, who have all gathered on the point. 

Tina pops her ult, D.Va yelling, “NERF THIS!” and ejecting from her mech as it speeds towards the enemies and begins to self-destruct. 

That infuriating enemy Lucio pops his ult at the same time, jumping in the air and slamming his speaker-gun on the ground. His call of “LET’S BREAK IT DOWN!” accompanies an impenetrable shield around his entire team, protecting them so that D.Va’s exploding mech, normally a debilitating and unforgiving ult, merely pushes the enemy team away from her a little. 

“Nooo, that was perfect! That would’ve been Play of the Game!” Tina screams, D.Va immediately jumping back into her replacement mech to keep fighting. Tina’s so loud in her fury that it seems no one but Kurt notices the next horrifying announcement:

“I’VE GOT YOU IN MY SIGHTS...” 

“Shit, shit, shit!” Kurt releases his link from Artie’s Pharah, gliding out of the enemy Soldier’s eye line and away from the inevitable carnage. Soldier: 76 pops his ult, his shots landing with deadly power and accuracy on whoever he can see.

Kurt’s the only one who dodges the attack. A bright yellow, triangular icon pops up on his display, noting four teammates dead from Soldier’s ult. Then all five of his teammates are down as the enemy Reinhardt fulfills his inexplicable vendetta against Tina’s D.Va and pins her mech against a nearby wall, his teammates helping him finish her off. Kurt can see little skull icons hovering in the air where each of them fell. 

He hears his team’s rage and disappointment over the voice chat but quickly yells over them, “This is our last shot, get ready!” With three seconds remaining, his Mercy locks on to one of the death icons littering the point and swoops in, emerging from her hiding spot and shouting, “HEROES NEVER DIE!”

In a burst of yellow beams, all five teammates reappear on the point, rising from the dead to send the game into overtime. Artie’s Pharah leaps into the air and shouts, “JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!” as a barrage of rockets comes down on the enemy team, taking out three of them as the rest of the team cleans up the survivors. 

The enemy team doesn’t have enough time to get back to the point before overtime runs out. Kurt’s team recaptures the defense point, “VICTORY” appearing on the screen in huge glowing letters. The match is over. 

“Oh my GOD,” Artie yells, the whole team whooping and chattering about how close that was. Kurt breathes and presses a palm to his face. He loves being Mercy, but god, is it stressful sometimes.

The Play of the Game animation begins, and Kurt is delighted to see Mercy on screen, spreading her wings and raising her arm in her signature Resurrection move. As expected, the replay shows his game-saving, 5-person rez in the eleventh hour. 

“Kurt, that was so good!” Brittany exclaims, all of their teammates voting for Kurt as MVP in the end-game recap that shows the match’s strongest players. He even gets one of the enemy team’s players’ votes, though all the other votes go to their team’s healer, Lucio. 

Sam whistles. “Seriously saved our asses, wow...”

“Wouldn’t have been so close if we had a useful Genji...” Artie mutters. 

“Seriously, bro?”

“Get good or get over it, Sam,” cackles Tina.

Kurt says nothing. He’s with Artie on this one.

“For fuck’s sake... I’m over this for the night, see you losers tomorrow,” Santana says, she and Brittany quickly exiting the group. The others follow soon after, until Kurt is alone and pressing his fingers to his temples with his headphones resting around his neck. 

A bell rings as a little pop-up appears in the upper left corner of the TV, noting that Kurt has a friend request from Nightbird1995. His eyebrow quirks with interest. It’s the enemy Lucio. 

The accompanying message reads, GG! By that, I mean ‘great game’ instead of ‘good game.’ Or ‘glorious game!’ What an AMAZING Mercy!!! :) healer buddy?

Kurt grins. What a sweetheart, this Lucio. He accepts the request and sends back, You’re pretty good yourself! I’ll be honest, you were irritating. The mark of a great player :P

If the enemy isn’t frustrated you’re not playing hard enough lol

Agreed. Though I doubt you had as much screaming in your voice chat as I did. My friends are... a lot

Lol. Wanna team up for a few quick rounds? My friends left :(((

Kurt answers by sending an Overwatch invitation to Nightbird1995 and putting his headset back on.

“Hi, Mercy! Or shall I call you ‘Blackbird?’” Nightbird1995 asks, a buoyant tenor voice playing in Kurt’s headphones. The player’s icon is a jar of peanut butter. 

Kurt snorts at the picture, but doesn’t comment on it. “You can call me Kurt... Nightbird?” 

“Ah, no, that’s my superhero alter-ego. I’m Blaine.” 

Blaine... Hmm. “Superhero by day, skilled healer by night?”

“That’s me,” Blaine laughs. The sound is wonderful. “Actually, I can play a lot of characters, if you want to stick with healer. Or I can. I’m versatile.”

What a refreshing change from his usual play group. Kurt likes it. Kurt likes him.

“We’ll see what kind of group we get. Ready?”

“Let’s save the world!” Blaine exclaims, pulling a chuckle from Kurt as he puts them in the queue for a game. 

This ought to be interesting. 

TBC

[heartslogos]

seas who could sing so deep and strong [13]

“Judge, are you busy?”

Kore’s voice sounds distorted and a little distant - as though she was calling out into the speaker. He can hear her working on something in the background.

“A little,” Judge replies. He’s been trying to reassemble some Moa parts he found. If he can get it to work again and somehow manage to disguise his tampering, maybe he could sneak it into one of the Corpus research facilities for some spying. Or sabotage. The plan only works if he can figure out how to get it to work again, though.

It doesn’t help that Ugly and Midas have been making off with parts he needs. Like - the legs.

Moa’s are about ninety percent legs. And five percent head. And five percent miscellaneous parts. But definitely ninety percent legs.

“Alright, never mind, I’ll figure this out myself.”

Judge immediately puts down the Moa head.

“No, no, I’m good. I’ll go over.”

Kore almost never asks for help and Judge isn’t about to turn her down when she does. Even if she didn’t ask for it in words.

Judge hurries over to the connection between their ships and crosses.

Valencia is sitting at the airlock, ears perked at attention. He gives her a tentative pat on the head and she blinks slowly, still at alert.

Valencia, he thinks, takes her job as a guard Kubrow very, very seriously.

All of Kore’s Kubrow take their jobs very seriously. It’s like a small elite army of Kubrow. Even if Isha can get a little hyperactive and over excited when he’s fetching body parts that no one asked for.

Judge makes his way to the main area of Kore’s Orbiter and puts his hands on his hips, eyebrows raising at the spectacle in front of him.

Kore is attempting to pull her Wyrm sentinel out of an air duct. She’s got both feet braced on the wall of her ship, and Isha is pulling at the back of her suit with his teeth.

Wyrm is making several high pitched sounds of distress, its optic sensor flashing as Kore grunts with effort to pull it free.

“Again?” Judge asks.

“Yes, again,” Kore says, “Help?”

Judge takes Isha’s place, arms wrapping around Kore’s middle as he digs his feet into the floor, feeling the soles of his boots squeaking against the Orbiter’s clean and smooth flooring. Isha’s teeth dig into the back of his hood and a few moments later Hajra trots over, looks at them, and then joins Isha in pulling Judge from behind.

“So this makes how many times your Wyrm has gotten stuck somewhere? The last time was an exposed pipe, wasn’t it?”

“Twelve this moon cycle,” Kore grunts.

Judge pulls her harder, grimacing at -

“What is Joy doing?”

Judge opens his eyes because the squeak of his boots is definitely not that loud or that - that piercing.

Kore’s pink and yellow Kavat is dragging her claws down an alloy container, golden eyes looking directly at him.

“She likes to make that sound to piss people off,” Kore says, “She’s been doing it all day because Wyrm and Helios have been annoying her.”

“Helios?”

Kore jerks her head in the direction her navigation panel.

Judge turns his head, narrowly avoiding her head butting his chin as she makes a renewed effort to free her trapped sentinel, and sees Kore’s Helios.

“Still?”

“Every fucking time,” Kore confirms.

Kore’s Helios has an unfortunate tendency to get stuck trying to scan itself in any reflective surface. The problem is that her Helios has to start over mid-scan every time because the bright light of the scanner reflects back into its own optic sensor and blinds the thing. So it’s stuck permanently trying to scan itself until someone distracts it.

Judge sighs, wry amusement flickering in his chest as he focuses in on -

“Did you forget to disarm your Shade again?” He asks. Her Orbiter ceiling is dotted with fresh burns and dent marks.

“Listen, Judge, I’m not going to remove my Shade’s weaponry every single time I think it might enter sleep mode,” Kore replies, “I’ll just forget to put it back later.”

Judge glances around for her Shade, just in case -

The sentinel has a poor habit of firing off a few shots every time it wakes up from sleep mode and the last time Judge was around for it, he got shot in the ass. The sentinel was appropriately sorry about it, from what Judge could tell, but he’s not risking it again. He’s lucky it was only a bruise.

“Almost there,” Kore says and they all give one final tug.

Wyrm comes flying free, and Judge grunts as they all collapse into a pile.

Isha and Hajra cushion the fall but Kore is bones and angles and Judge grimaces.

Kore coos as she inspects her sentinel for injury. Wyrm wiggles in her hands before wrapping itself around her neck, small beeps and chirps of distress fading into low whines for comfort.

Judge gives the pair a fond look.

“Well, I guess the universe had to balance it all out somehow,” He muses.

“What?” Kore asks, attention mostly on her sentinel.

“If you were as powerful as you are, and all of your Kubrow and your Charger as - you know, efficient, as that, and you had capable sentinels it’d be unfair to the rest of us,” Judge says.

Kore glares at him, “My sentinels are perfectly capable. They just have - quirks. Eccentricities. I mean, look at Ugly. And Chainsaw.”

“Chainsaw is perfect and wonderful,” Judge replies immediately.

“Chainsaw cries and hides from Ugly,” Kore says, “Chainsaw is also afraid of Grineer and tries to hide behind you.”

“Not everyone can be like,” Judge waves his hand at where Kore’s Charger, Empress, is standing very still and staring out into space next to Helios, who’s making incredibly angry and frustrated high pitched screeching sounds as it tries to scan itself.

Kore shrugs a shoulder, “She learned it from Valencia.”

“You mean, Valencia, your tank with fur?”

Kore sniffs, still cuddling her Wyrm and petting its fleshy body as it does the machine equivalent of crying, “Valencia is a guard Kubrow. She takes her job very seriously.”

“All your Kubrow take their jobs very seriously and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Judge says. “But if your Kubrow and Kavat and Charger and all your sentinels took their jobs as seriously and as efficiently as you, I think that would be too much. In the words of the people form Old Earth, the universe had to nerf you by giving you sentinels that have - quirks. Like your Djinn having a very bad startle reflex. Or your Carrier always getting tangled in Ugly’s tail.”

Judge pauses.

Thinks.

“Wait, is that on purpose? Did you train your Carrier to always catch my Kavat’s tail? Kore!”