#please grammerly correct my spelling i know its terrible

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Idea: Taking out the trash.

sO - inko runs a contract cleaning business, specializing in quirk mishaps, but does anything they get paid for. izuku has been helping forever and is why it specializes in quirk mishaps

Inko was on a job and she’d brought Izuku with her, and the was having a quiet freak out about how to get all the quirk goop off the floor because it turned into a rock whenever she poked it and Izuku was just like “Mum, its a non-Newtonian fluid, either water it down or dry it up” and Inko was like Oh! i smell a niche market. Inko’s business is the only group that specializes in that area, and thats the reason she has employees now rather than it just being her and Izuku 

Among er regular staff she has two very nice down on their luck older teenagers that no one else would employ. It’s not Dabi’s fault he’s all scarred up! Nor is it Toga’s that her stare is a little intense. Really, the discrimination these days!

but, they take advantage of the fact that no one pays any attention to cleaners. 

thats right! inko runs a crime group that are also janitors

you need them to steal something? sure. you need them to clean up something 'messy'? sure! you need info from a high-security building? izuku or toga will grab a mop and go get it for you

Inko's sense of morality is. Fluid. She married and had a child with All for One knowing the man was a villain - but then she found out about the Child Nomu and well - she hadn’t really had to have an opinion on killing kids before because she’d never been asked to. but now, with her little boy? she was Very Very Against It. She beat the shit out of her husband with a frying pan straight off the stove and moved to mustutafu with her 6-month-old baby. 

All for One has never been more in love. 

The cleaning gig started off perfectly legit! Inko needed work, and because Izuku was a quiet baby no one minded her bringing him along in a little baby sling. Then the wife of one of her clients asked her to nic her husband’s hard drive because she was pretty sure the man was cheating on her and the proof would be in his emails, and Inko was more than happy to help! And then the woman paid her a cut of her divorce settlement and Inko was like Huh. Crime really does pay.

she’d dabbled in crime a little when she was younger, her quirk was perfect for a little theft, or just. violently hurting creeps.

just because she's very nice doesn’t mean she won't steal all ur shit, shes only loyal to family and friends! she would commit so many crimes for family and friends though. 

anyway, izuku grows up not knowing about the side gig, until he gets an idea of it when he's 10 and sees his mum washing a truly intimidating amount of bloody linens. He compiles proof and confronts his mother, expecting - well. he doesn’t really know what he’s expecting. 

he’s not expecting her to burst into tears and hug him saying “your mama is so proud of her genius son! what a smart boy! just like your father!”

and Izuku is like. Huh. Well. 

and he says he wants in, and hes just so cute inko cant say no! her baby boy is growing up!

Izuku is unofficially the brains of the whole operation - he vets their ‘extra’ jobs and only takes the one’s he thinks are fair enough. No killing kids, no killing heroes, no killing legit great people. If you suck or you just aren’t anything special, sorry pal, you’re fair game. they do work for underground heroes as well, along with just actual villains.

they do. a fair bit of murder. and some body hiding. and crime scene cleaning. but it’s mostly theft of information. 

extras: 

Nezu has hired them multiple times, both to clean up quirk accidents at UA in above-board work, and also before he became principal to hide what he did to the labs that held him captive. 

Aizawa is aware of the crime group but he, along with everyone else, think the janitorial stuff is just a cover, and that they don’t actually do it, because what kind of criminal making bank would ‘lower’ themselves to clean bathrooms? trick question aizawa it’s not lowering yourself 

Izuku has broken into many hero offices. He wont kill them but like. He’ll steal from the dodgy ones. He’s still a hero fanboy, but some of them really suck. On that note - Endeavour’s accountants are frantically trying to work out who keeps syphoning money from their accounts. Also, someone messed with the sprinkler system and now it goes off literally every time Endeavour turns on his beard. 

Night Eye has hired them to get him info - they might be villains, but they do good work. He is. Unaware of the murder. 

All Might is just internally cheering for them. He grew up without much money and knows how badly people in jobs like cleaners or retail are treated. Like “dont do murder but also! stick it to the corporations!!!” 

Izuku still goes to UA. He’s in gen ed. All Might is eyeing him for his successor.