#please kill tiktok . somebody somewhere

[genderascendant]

“‘The most devious bastard in new york citay’ that audio has been stuck in my head all day”

“Watch the show”

“It’s from a show??!!??!”

[cande-dooder]

Since I’m here I might as well rant, since I don’t have any irls here or a character limit

The living situation with my mom hasn’t really improved through the move, to say the least. During the move it was like I’d just BREATHE wrong and she’d get so mad… it’s calmed down a little bit but not much. It still feels like walking on eggshells around her a lot. I try to do something the way I want it (sometimes even in my own room, mind you) and she gets mad I didn’t do it her way! Like what the actual fuck is your problem?? I still accomplished a similar result get over it!! I know she’s frustrated with her job and such but so am I, and I don’t blow up at every little thing like she does. I still think she has something deeper going on that she is simply refusing to get help for and it’s honestly driving me away from her. Like I need to for real get some money saved so I can leave when the lease is up in July.

Speaking of money…. I’m scared to even go get my hair done because she’s gonna say it’s too expensive. I also wanna get a 2025 aurora tour in Alaska booked soon while there’s availability and I know she’s gonna have a cow because it’s not cheap.

She still has her awful road rage (is probably a part of her issues she has) and when we went to my uncles house in Orlando for new year’s she was getting mad at other people on EVERYTHING they were doing. When we went to look at Christmas lights she got mad and started screaming when there’d be a car behind us or meeting on a narrow street. Like it’s just not that serious please calm down.

One night I had heard noises while I was in the shower and was scared someone broke in so I locked my bedroom door the next night before I got in the shower and she got mad she couldn’t get in my room to be mad I didn’t get the list of stuff done (which, I had no idea there was a list, she didn’t leave it where I would easily see it).

She blares the tv and stupid TikTok instagram reels on her phone and gets REALLY mad when I NICELY ask her to lower the volume or turn it off because I’m trying to sleep. The sound echoes really bad into my room because there’s no carpet in the living room. It’s like if I disrupt her even one bit it’s like I killed somebody.

When I ordered my new bed (I needed something with a headboard because my bed is against a window, only way it would nicely fit) she got mad that the bed I liked came with the frame, then was annoyed that I paid about $100 extra to have it put together when it was delivered, I did that because the bed was on sale and also because I knew she’d gripe about having to help me put it together.

During the actual moving day she got mad at me for standing up for myself when I was tired of my (other) uncles dumb jokes at my expense. She legit made me feel guilty for standing my ground and not taking it. He was making my day worse and I decided I had enough.

She still gets mad at the cats, especially stingray, for just being cats, and I’m considering taking Sam AND stingray when I leave. She clearly has her favorite (sox) and the other two annoy her so why should I leave them?

I’m not sure myself if what I experience with my mom is classed as emotional abuse but whatever is going on she’s doubled down, especially since the move. That I know for sure.

And I just know it, when I’m getting ready to leave and like my dad is about to come, like flight booked and Uhaul rented, my mom is gonna pull some “talk” like she did in 2016 to get me to stay. It’s not gonna work this time. I’m not gonna stay somewhere I don’t feel appreciated and welcome. I’m not the same person I was in 2016, I do have more “adult” type of life experience, and you know what? I’m going to be 30, I want to get out and freely be the adult I am.

[neo-shitty]

hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all

facts. he can do no wrong.

second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.

but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.

but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.

and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.

also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)

yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.

sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out

bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.

sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.

same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.

oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.

I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.

yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/

'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.

ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.

this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.

please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.