#please love your daughter mr. leonhardt

[moonspirit]

Do u think Mr Leonhart will ever do something to Annie again? And if he did how would people react.

Idk why but I can see Annie post cannon trusting her farther again completely, possibly to the point of living with him straight away,and getting hurt. Going to the shared house one day late at night, visibly hurt badly bruised eye. They take her in ask her what happened and she doesn’t say anything.

How would they react if her farther starts shouting at her in front of them? Or even raises his hand at her? Who will be the one to step in front of her, who will she go to when scared?

(Please go into detail I love your writing)

Hello anon! Sorry I've taken a little while to answer :3

I think the question of whether Mr. Leonhardt will "physically" hurt Annie again is one that depends on the facts and circumstances of their relationship post-rumbling. If we assume, as in common interpretation, that Mr. Leonhardt is a changed man after losing Annie for so many years, then it would certainly be blood-curdling if he reverts to using violence on her again. However, not entirely shocking, given his past.

So let's entertain this idea. You know, it may not be that Annie "trusts" her father completely now that they're united, but more that she's so happy to have him alive and return to him at all, considering that was her only (and initial) goal. (Whether what she gets out of this father-daughter relationship actually makes her happy is a whole other matter). This could see her not expecting to be at the receiving end of his anger and physical rage anymore - so when it happens, she takes the full blow, caught unaware and too shocked to block him out of fear that she'll hurt him again like she hurt his knee.

Because he's her father and they're both alive - she can't possibly do anything to hurt him anymore.

Although, abusive parental relationships are quite hard to get out of; they tend to keep a vice grip on you because of that very aspect of it - it's a parental relationship. A parent. Your very own parent. Not just anybody, your parent.

Although, when shit hits the fan and it happens that the others witness Annie either being physically hurt, or returning home carrying the signs of it, or being yelled at with shaking fists - it's not going to be pleasant.

See, post-canon Annie lives with a family of five, not including her father. These are Armin, Pieck, Reiner, Jean and Connie, the latter four of whom grow to see Annie as a sister-figure, however much she scowls at them. I like to think the Alliance six are fiercely protective of one another.

For them to see someone like Annie, who they knew in the past for being fearsome, strong and unyielding, actively letting herself get hurt and beaten and injured... by the hands of somebody she only wanted to seek some love from...

Guaranteed, there's not a person that won't see red.

As for who will step to shield her from incoming attacks, I think Reiner or Jean (or both). They have good reflexes, both capable of overpowering any man, even if that man is just crippled, like Mr. Leonhardt now. Not to say Armin can't overpower him. Just that I don't see him being the one to push back; he's more likely to rush to Annie's aid along with Pieck & Connie.

Pieck is the one to take Annie in and help her out of her clothes and into clean pyjamas or big, loose shirts. She'll help her wash her face and hold ice to her swollen cheek.

And lastly, Armin will be the one to put his gentle hands over a decade's worth of trauma and pain, being Annie's rock henceforth, going to work in pulling out the needles stuck all over her body and replacing them with soft, red, threads soaked with his love.

[austerulous-a]

7 & 27 ♡

@jaegeriin // 30 uncommon character development questions // accepting

7. How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral?

Generally speaking, Annie’s perception is negative. There is a lot she dislikes and even loathes about herself. She considers herself to be weak, swept up in events, someone too exhausted - too spineless - to even try fighting against the current. Her childhood was spent quietly hoping someone would save her and now, in her adolescence, she understands help will not come. The best she can do is continue on the path laid out for her by her father and her superiors, and be prepared to crush other people under her heels. To put it in Annie’s own words, she’s a self-serving piece of shit.

In a world of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ she views herself firmly as the latter. It has less to do with being a murderer (even after Armin destroys the port at Liberio, she considers him a good person; the same can be said of Bertholdt, despite him having an astronomical body count) and more with who she is at her core. Which is someone wretched, fragile, half-formed; she is self-aware enough to recognise and despise the abnormal, empty spaces within her. Hollowed out as a child, there is little to Annie that is truly, intrinsically ‘her’. Mr. Leonhardt built her, stripping away the parts he had no use for, and using discipline to instil the characteristics that would help make her a Warrior. As such, even traditionally ‘good’ traits like loyalty and compassion are soured within Annie. They are a weakness, and threaten to stand in the way of her promise to her father. A perfect example being her decision to spare Armin during the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission, which later became the rope that hanged her in Stohess.

This isn’t even touching on Annie’s opinions of her physical self. She is uncomfortable in her body and there is a lot about her appearance that she views negatively, but that should probably be a post all of its own.

It isn’t entirely doom and gloom, however. On a good day, Annie thinks of herself in largely neutral terms, and recognises that she did not choose her circumstances. If left to her own devices, she wouldn’t hurt anyone. At least not beyond the occasional harsh word or swift kick to the shin. At heart, she’s just a girl rolling with the punches, trying to find her way home.

27. If your character had one thing to say to their parents before they died, what would it be?

So I’m of the opinion that Annie’s birth parents are both dead. I still can’t shake the image of her mother going to gallows with her aching, postpartum body, and her father being turned into a mindless titan, doomed to die on Paradis, ajsdhudwb. But if she somehow had an opportunity to speak first and final words to them, they would be: “I had no choice.” No choice in being born, and no choice but to become a monster. At the end of the day, they risked and ultimately gave up their lives to have their daughter. They surely didn’t imagine she would be an inheritor of the Female Titan and an instigator of genocide. Was she worth it? Probably not.

As for Mr. Leonhardt, Annie would struggle to express herself even to him, the man who formed her bedrock. There would be a temptation to say sorry, because death is a failure of sorts, but her father was never one to accept apologies or anything less than excellence. Her need for his approval is a terrible thing, she sorely needs him to truly consider her his daughter and not solely his project. For him, her final words would be: “I did my best. I gave it my all.”

[lunarfanfics]

One Last Dance                                                         

Rating: T                                                                                                           Pair: Annie Leonhardt & Eren Jaeger (Modern AU)

I recently marathoned 13 Reasons Why with my sis, so I was partially inspired by that one episode of Clay hallucinating a memory of dancing with Hannah, but mostly THIS song that played when they danced. There is NO suicide in this btw, Annie is a runaway. I just really liked that one scene and song. Also if my writing reads differently, it's because I've gained lots of inspo from the author Maggie Steifvator. C:

[Also on Ao3 & FF.Net]

He sat by his lonesome on the gym bleachers; on the highest row so his view was full of the shiny waxed floors. As he sat idly, his mind took him elsewhere. He couldn't stop thinking, has it really been a year since she left? That’s three hundred sixty five days. Plus one. He wondered what she’d accomplished in all those days, and how she was doing, and who she was with, and where. Where was she?

Grief was such a powerful emotion, and she was so small, so strong, but still fragile. Susceptible to the natural events that occur in one's life. Death, for one. Death of a loved one, for two.  

Eren Jaeger hadn't known Mrs. Leonhardt, personally; but if she were anything like her daughter (and he knew looks wise she were) he would’ve grown a soft spot for her. Annie Leonhardt, a punk girl with a punk attitude to match, wasn't close to Mrs. Leonhardt, actually, Annie hadn't known of her mother’s existence until she had started her Sophomore year of High School. Time always brought more upending drama.

In the year it took them to spark that mother daughter bond that’s been left vacant in Annie’s life thus far; Mrs. Leonhardt became sick. Fatally so, as she’d always been sick. Terminal illness. It’s why Annie had always skipped fourth period lunch, visiting hours at Maria Hospital ended early.

Annie had thought god cruel to rob her of a mother she’d thought she never had. When Eren found her weeping in an empty school hallway, just standing there, glassy blue eyes fixed on red lockers. He thought, god were cruel to make one of his angels cry. 

That moment changed his life forever, because he chose to invade Annie’s space at the time, an action he would've never done before, because he didn't care for the issues of other people, he had his own. But this, but her, was different. He chose to ask her what was wrong, she had remained silent. He chose to stay by her side. She had done nothing to make him leave, so he had no reason to. He stayed until the tear stains on her cheeks dried.

He hadn't really known her then. But Eren knew grief, and the feeling wasn't to be felt alone. Grief was bruises that bloomed on the inside, until the ache became a tender wound that could only heal with time. Grief was longing for someone no longer there, a heaviness that weighed down the heart, and the mind. Yes, Eren knew grief all too well.

Annie and he became acquaintances that day, with little to no interaction, and hardly any eye-contact. In the day after, Eren found they shared many similarities, not by talking, but by observing. They both had stubborn silences that ticked people off, bright eyes that glowed when they threatened, or were threatened, quick tempers, and a passive hatred for their current government. He found that they had chemistry, but most of all, shared trauma of losing a mother.

In the days to follow, Eren and Annie would become gym partners who exchanged few words, and the days after that, they would become friends, and then in between that, through a strengthening bond and held gazes, they would waver forever between a little more than friends, and something more.

Eren wished she had stayed just a bit longer. His car accident a month ago had not prevented him from looking for her. His license was suspended, but that didn't stop him either. Neither did his minor concussion.

“Jaeger Meister, my man!” A loud voice in his ear snapped Eren from deep thought, he blinked, and suddenly there was rhythmic music blaring in the gym, fairy lights of muted blues and purples swarmed his vision, boys in tuxedos, and girls in sparkling dresses hooted and hollered, they were dancing, twirling, grinding on each other like sex-crazed young adults.

He blinked again to see if he had entered a dream but the scene stayed the same. He was still in the gym, still seated high above on the bleachers, except that he was back at the Winter Ball that happened a year ago. The night she left. His buzz-cut friend, Connie dressed in a purple pin-striped tux, shook him from his stupor.

“Hey, something the matter bro’? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Eren turned his head, meeting Connie’s wide amber eyes, that were just as concerned as the rest of his features. Eren opened his mouth, but couldn't find what to say. What do you say when you’ve suddenly morphed into the past?

“It is Jean?” Connie furrowed his eyebrows, then he looked down. Eren followed his gaze, rows down from the bleachers he spotted the occult girl Mikasa Ackerman, who was a dark shadow among the colors that invaded his eyes. She stood near the punch bowl, while Jean Kirstein, the self-acclaimed bad boy of Rose High School, talked animatedly to her, making wild hand gestures and such. Possibly making a fool out of himself as well.

“Dude keeps trying, but she wants none of that.” Connie laughed, then nudged Eren with his elbow, “I heard she’s totally into you though, you should make your move before she settles with Jean out of pity.”

But Eren’s attention had left Jean and Mikasa; instead his wandering eyes roamed over the heads of countless students, searching for that one person. Connie cocked his head, puzzled. “Who’re you looking for?”

Eren muttered. “She isn’t here.”  Or, maybe it was Connie who muttered. He couldn't tell. The music was so loud.

“Hey bro’ you know,” Connie clicked his tongue, “You had all the time in the world to tell her.”

A hammer pounded on the inside of Eren’s skull; he gripped the side of his head. Who was Connie talking about again? Mikasa? But Eren said, “I know.”

“You could’ve asked her to the dance. Why didn't you?”

Eren shut his eyes.

“You could’ve stopped her from leaving when you had the chance.”

“I know.” Eren gripped his head tighter. “Please stop rhyming.”

The gymnasium was spinning, and so was he. Then Connie clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“You look like hell man, Come on, get up, you need to move.”

Eren shook his head. “No I-”

“Yes!” Connie jumped up, he had hooked his arm around Eren’s elbow, so Eren clumsily came to a stand, hunched over because Connie was just a couple shorter than he. “This is my song! Let’s dance!”

“With you?” Eren sputtered, being led down the bleachers by Connie, he tried not to trip over his too-big polished shoes he didn't remember putting on that morning.

“Yeah man!” Connie spun him onto the middle of the dance floor. “You and me! Mano en mano, don’t be shy just because I’m a guy!”

“Quit rhyming.”

Connie grinned, his head bobbing to the beat, all around them boys and girls were bouncing, laughing, high off the euphoria of the oncoming holidays, and Winter vacation, or just high in general. The noise, the energy while it happened everywhere, the area Eren occupied remained stagnant, everyone was moving but him.

His friend chuckled, and punched him on the arm. “ C’mon dude! stop sulking, wiggle your hips, start dancing, you’ll feel better! I promise .”

“Connie, I can’t do this.” Not because Eren was timid, but, this was not going to make him feel better. For him, dancing could not cure heartache.

“Try.”

Eren only stared at Connie, arms at his side, a stick in the mud. He felt awkward, and out of place until Sasha, Connie’s loud, and proud girlfriend waltzed in; she wrapped her arms around Connie’s neck, and together they giggled like idiots in love, and swayed close, and swayed. Eren continued to stare, and stare, and stare. Until he saw past the couple, and there were the gym doors, and there peeking through the heavy red double doors, was Annie.

Connie was at his shoulder in an instant, “Why don’t you go ask her to dance?”

Sasha pinched Eren’s cheek. “ Aw he might be shy, she’s only here for the moment y’know!”

Eren knew. Finally he was moving, towards the gym doors, and though Annie had disappeared, he didn't stop moving, he ran down the staircase, his dress shoes made a heavy clack clack sound with every foot fall, and then he was out the exit door, red, just like all the others.

It was snowing. That was the first thing he noticed. Second, was the chill, the air was frigid, and seeped through his blazer, turned his panting into puffs of white, he felt it in his bones. Eren shivered, wrapped his arms around himself in some attempt of conjuring warmth. The third thing he noticed, was the pale blonde girl in a frayed leather jacket too big for her shoulders, knit leggings and combat boots.

She noticed his presence two seconds later. Annie had a black duffel bag slung around her shoulder, and a phone in her hand, the screen illuminated her chin in blue. Eren breathed. Out of relief, and out of sadness. “Annie?” He walked closer, tentatively, afraid she’d bolt from him, though the idea sounded ridiculous. Still, it’s been so long since he’s seen her. Even if this her , he vaguely knew, was just a figment of the past. The what-if part.

“Where’ve you been?”

It was the question he’d always wanted to ask when he saw her again. But as Sasha said, Annie was only here for the moment, so he took his chance now. The cold colored Annie’s pale cheeks pink, and her hooked nose rosy, she opened her mouth then closed it. Shook her head, and dropped her arm to her side, the one that held the phone.

“Eren…”

His name left her lips in a cloud of white smoke. He met her eyes, and they were all the colors of Winter skies, ice, and mistakes. Yet they still alighted a warmth in him. Her eyes were perhaps the warmest feature of her, and they've branded a permanent mark on his heart already. It scared the hell out of him. But somehow, she calmed him all the while alighting his nerves; all he felt was the numbing chill, the fire ants that crawled beneath his skin. Ice and fire. Hot and cold. She was a walking contradiction. He loved her for that.

“Come inside, it’s f-freezing out here, you’ll get sick.” He stepped closer to her. “Please.”

“Eren.” She sighed, a broken sigh. “I can’t,” she sighed again. “I can’t go back.”

Eren hadn't realized how he subconsciously crept towards Annie until he towered over her, and she was forced to crane her neck to look him in the eye. “I’m leaving this place.” She said. “This town?” Annie gestured with her arms half-wide, to nothing, and everything in particular. “It doesn't feel like my home anymore, I don’t feel like I belong, it’s like- It’s like… I’m a ghost passing through,” She shrugged, averted her eyes. “Watching everyone else grow, while I stay rooted in the past, and if I stay here any longer, I’ll just…”

Eren chewed on the skin of his bottom lip until it became tender, he was anxious, anxious for her to stay even though he knew that she wouldn't. “But, your father-”

“Will be fine without me.” Her tone was firm and as biting as the cold. “He doesn't need me. He didn't need my mother. For all those years he left her to rot in that sick prison. He can endure, because I won’t be dead, I’ll just be gone.”

She hadn't see him flinch at the word, Eren was glad she hadn’t. Gone was the type of word that coincidentally paired better with forever.

. “Right now, I need to breath, I need to get away… need time.” Very softly, she added. “Time to myself.”

Eren swallowed the lump made in his throat. This was how it would go, he supposed. If he had found her that night. If he had bothered to look. Nothing would have changed because he wasn't a man of words, but of action. But with Annie, he never knew what boundaries could he overstep, or if there had been any.

Would I love you, please stay had made a difference? No. They were just words. And he could never have forced her to stay in a place that made her feel so caged.

Did she truly feel the same for him, as he did for her? No, if she did, she would have never left. The truth hurt, and hit him solid as the bitter breeze whooshing through the bare branches above them.

Within the gymnasium of the school, The DJ mixed countless tracks, before they settled on the song of the night. That kind of song that brought the couple's into the spotlight for one last dance. The night slowed. Eren offered his hand to Annie, palm upturned. She didn't take it, just stared, curious.

He thought, in this dream sequence, in this past, in this whatever-it-was , he could do at least, one thing different.

“Please,” He tried not to plead, but there it was in his voice anyway. “Dance with me before you go?”

His dream Annie sighed once more, because it was something she used to do a lot. “You know I don’t dance.”

He smiled. “Neither do I.”

Because his smile was contagious, and Annie was a tough glacier, he only got a glimpse of her lips upturning , before it froze over. She wordlessly put her gloved hand in his, her exposed fingers were icy on his skin, he shivered, more so out of delight, than of chill.

He led her back into the school, back through the double red doors of the gymnasium. And, as he expected, there was no one else there. But that song still played, without the DJ, the melody haunted the space, drifting in and out of their ears. The snow had followed them too. Flurries danced by the various blue fairy lights that hung off the walls of the gym. The atmosphere was magic, and wonderful, but most of all, warm.

Eren faced her. Annie let go of his hand, dropped her duffel bag, and found his hand again. Her smart phone was gone, Eren wondered briefly for what she had used it for. To find him? To schedule her ride out of this town? To meet with some stranger who would be her ride out of this town? Thinking too much into that made him uneasy, all those thoughts were interrupted when she put her other hand on his shoulder, and stepped right under his nose, all peppermint and frost scented. He hadn't a clue how to dance, but this song was ambient, sensual in a way, so he swayed with her in time to it’s faded rhythm.

And the night slowed.

Five Years Later

Vzzzzzt  Vzzzzzt  'Vzzzzzt  'Vzzzzzt

His phone vibrated in his coat pocket, Eren stopped scribbling, setting down his pen and journal on the bench opposite of his Jackson Pollock knock-off, made up of the thickest glossiest gesso, and expensive acrylic paints. The Gallery was practically empty, actually, save for some window viewers, it was empty. He knew he should have chose a different date for a critique group. His friends hadn't arrived yet either. Who even cared for a poor graduate’s open art gallery on a Saturday morning anyway?

Certainly not the critics whose sole career was critiquing the works of others; and most definitely not his dear friends who’d made promises to arrive at his Gallery upon opening time.

It was now half past ten in the morning, which had not been the opening time, that was eight.

Maybe he was overreacting, and the trains were delayed, or something urgent had come up, something dire. Or someone had to bail. Someone always had to bail.

He sighed, sliding his thumb across the lock screen of his phone. Ignoring both notifications of the incoming text messages he’d just received, since he was already going to look at them.

One read,

Mika

Hey, I’m sorry I’m going to be a lil late today, my mom wants me to come with her to visit Aunt Kiyomi at the Funeral home. I Promise I will stop by later though. Don’t forget to take the aspirin I got you for the headaches, but only take two. xoxo

Eren snorted. Mikasa was such a mom herself. She had matured so much from the lolita crazed girl she used to be. Though he was glad to have a friend with a nurturing soul in his life. He would have met many dead-ends without her. He’d give Mikasa a pass today. Family matters are always more important. The second text, directly under the bottom one read four words.

Arm-man

Gonna be late! Sorry!

Short and simple meant Armin didn't have an excuse. But then again, Armin Arlert wasn't one to make up an excuse, or lie to his friends in general. But his honesty was still appreciated. Still though- Eren pursed his lips- He was sure Armin hadn't made any plans for Saturday, besides studying. But he was always studying. The figurines of popular anime characters he once cherished as a fifteen year old had long gone from his computer desk, and had since been replaced by ruler thick textbooks on Cultural Anthropology. Whatever that was.

Eren supposed he would be critiquing his own artwork for today. He supposed he could do well with being in solitude a while longer. The windows of the small venue (he and begrudgingly his still-no-good older brother help rent) were tall and looked out into the bustling streets of Sina. The skies were sunny, and cloudless, and the air outside was fresh, or as fresh as the air within a compact city could be.

Every time a city-dweller walked up to the windows to spectate his clay-made sculptures he’d set up in the front, their shadow would pass over him briefly. He figured they’d scan his dancing sculptures of a girl and a boy and immediately get those feelings he wanted to convey; ones of young love, of music and rhythm; then they’d peek further inside the space, hoping to see their hopeless romantic artist… only to find some bedraggled art graduate sporting a top-knot on his head, and wearing sweatpants with a partially buttoned shirt, just sadly doodling away in his notebook.

Yeah, he’d probably look the other way too.

Eren was prepared to spend nearly the whole morning, and maybe even the afternoon alone. He was. But then he wasn't. Because someone had actually walked through the clear door of the Gallery then, and was now inside. Viewing his clay sculptures more closely. They really were a hit with the ladies.

And she was a fair lady. Eren mused secretly, her hair was cropped short, red as blood, and her legs were so, so pale, despite the glaring sun outside. The dark shorts, and hoodie she wore only served to make her chalk pale skin even paler. Eren tried not to stare too long else he’d come off as a creep, but it was only polite, (and also a part of being a artist in business was presentation of both the artist and the piece) that he introduce himself first. So he abandoned his journal and pen on the bench, buttoned the top of his shirt, breathed into his hand to assure coffee hadn’t minced his breath, and confidently strode over to the petite redhead.

“Hello, m’am. Good morning, I see you found my clay pieces here, their structure are actually made up of wire on the inside, you see. I was still in highschool when I got inspired to make these. I went through a tough time after I got into car accident, I had this hallucination-”

He stopped. Corrected himself. “I had this uh, dream, about a girl, an old friend of mine, who ran away from home.”

The redhead hadn't bothered to turn around, nor grace him with a ‘Hello’ or ‘Good Morning’ of her own. Yet he continued.

“And this dream affected me in such a way that, I found myself spiraling into these episodes that would occur a lot like that dream. I’d see this girl everywhere I go. Even though she was really not there, crazy, huh?”

The redhead made a noise. Possibly of agreement, possibly of dismissal. He continued.

“I, well, I was young, and naive. But I think, I was also very much in love with this girl. I couldn't get her out of my head. She’d left her mark on me, I know it sounds rather off-putting, uh… maybe even a little weird.” He chuckled, nervously. “But when you meet someone whose presence makes a difference in your life, whose very… aura calms you in your darkest times, or challenges when you want to be challenged, or even just kicks your ass sometimes because you need to wake up… I- you just feel like,” Eren stammered,

“You just feel…”

“... Whole?” She saved his speech, still with her back turned. Eren swallowed.

“Yeah, whole. And when that person leaves, they also take that piece of them that's become a part of you. At the end, you don’t feel exactly like yourself anymore, things… become more difficult, it gets harder to breath, harder to think, and you wonder everyday, if she’s alright. If she’s eating, if she has a roof above her head, if she’s protecting herself, if she crying, all alone out there...”

Eren was no longer talking of his clay sculptures.

He whispered. “If she forgot about me.”

“Never.”

The redhead turned to face him now. Eren exhaled a shaky breath, sounding a lot like a laugh, because it was. It was . It was her. Not a dream. She was real, she was grown, and beautiful, and real.

He knew that wintry gaze anywhere, there was her familiar hooked nose, her down-turned lips that were slightly parted in shock of seeing him, as she was meeting him all over again after six years. And her, just her.

“Annie?” He laughed, neurotic, shook his head in disbelief, on the brink of crying.

Eren offered his hand to her. “Where’ve you been?”