#please pretend these are all in sync.. also why is there one performance of this song and why do i remember there being more.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adhduck · 3 years

Text

Oh Well, I Guess We’re Gonna Pretend

AO3

(Major spoilers for rqg 207)

Wilde is at a party with all his loved ones, and everything in his life is finally falling into place.

He’s also unconscious on the floor of the world’s last safehouse, and something is coming for him.

“Come on, Oscar, dance with us.”

Wilde blinks, realizes Hamid is standing in front of him with his hand outstretched; probably a symbolic gesture, considering he’d be hard-pressed to pull someone double his height.

Smiling, Wilde sets his half-empty champagne flute on the table. “Of course. Care to join, Zolf?”

Zolf, who’s slouching in the next seat with his long, worn coat tucked around him in a fabulous display of I am not a party person, scoffs fondly. “Absolutely not. ‘Sides, it’s yer party, Wilde, not mine.”

“It’s our party,” Wilde says with mock offense, putting a hand on his chest. “Didn’t you hear my toast?”

“Half of it, maybe.”

Wilde rolls his eyes, but relents and squeezes Zolf’s shoulder; presses down a smile when Zolf catches his hand for a second and pats it. “I’ll get you to have fun one day, Zolf, mark my words.” He’s rewarded with a gruff little mumble, and then Hamid tugs on his coattail to pull him away.

[Cel is still reeling from the shock of electricity when they see it. It’s large, with a body that could be humanoid if not for the oversized head, how its body seems not to take up space but distort it. If not for the six-foot swords it has instead of arms.

Instinct kicking in, Cel pulls two bombs from their pockets and throws them in rapid succession. Even with their hands trembling a little – they always do, the first few moments of combat – Cel know each one is perfectly weighted and near perfectly aimed.

The creature doesn’t even flinch.

It only takes a moment to process what that means – limited bombs, a 5% chance of hitting at best, almost a third of their own health taken in one hit – before Cel abandons the idea of attacking and reaches instead for Hamid. He’s desperately light, clothes singed and hissing; as Cel pulls him to their chest, he curls instinctively into the touch.

“Hang on, little buddy,” they whisper, trying fiercely to sound sure. “You just keep dreaming for now; I’ll keep you safe.”

They just need to get him through the door.]

There are a few people dancing, but the clear stars are Azu and Kiko—partly due to Azu’s shimmering, lightly glowing pink gown, but mostly because of the dance itself. It’s a bright, lively partner dance Wilde hasn’t seen before, where they pull in and out of each other’s embrace with twirls and dips and lots of laughter. It looks equally exhausting and exhilarating.

Azu notices him mid-spin and brightens immediately, waving him over. “Kiko, you mind if I show Wilde the ropes?”

Kiko grins and gracefully steps back, half-bowing in the process. “Yeah, sure. Long as I can watch.”

So Azu works Wilde through the steps, out of sync with the music at first to get them right, then faster as he gains confidence, and soon they, too, are spinning and laughing. “You,” Wilde says when they pause to catch their breath, adjusting the frill around his neck, “are an excellent dance partner, Azu.”

Azu preens a little. “Oh, thank you! Though I doubt I’ve got much competition, knowing Zolf.”

Chuckling, Wilde glances at the man in question to find him looking back, chin in hand and a fond smile tugging at his mouth—for a moment, at least, before he darts his eyes away with flushing cheeks. Wilde’s heart sings.

[Azu looks sharply between her friends – half of them unconscious, all of them wounded – and the advancing creature. It seems completely unconcerned by the weapons being pulled as it wades into the fray, dodging a heavy swing from Zolf without even acknowledging him. The swords protruding from its shoulders are almost as long as she is tall.

We can’t win this, Azu realizes. Not while it’s this strong. Pressing a hand to her chest, where her pendant rests safely beneath the armor, she calls to her goddess with words of love and protection and rage. The divine energy builds in her chest, bringing the dull glow of her armor to a bright shine; she throws her hand outwards, flinging the energy with it in all directions, and there—at last, the creature hesitates. It stops as suddenly as if caught in a rockslide, making a noise halfway between a groan of pain and the grinding of stuck gears, and Azu starts to feel hopeful.

Then, it raises its blade.]

Azu catches the movement and smiles conspiratorially. “You know, there are gardens out back that are much quieter than in here.”

”Ah, but you forget,” Wilde replies, putting on his best performer voice. “That just guarantees Sasha will be there, hidden amongst the foliage, waiting to strike.”

Giggling a little, Azu says, “The worst you’ll get from her is some rumors about you and Zolf that are actually true.”

Wilde gasps in (mostly) faux horror. “Don’t even say that.”

Azu laughs for real now, a full and surprised thing, and pushes his shoulder lightly. “Go spend time with him, the party will survive without you a while.” Wilde pouts a little at that, and she tips her head toward Hamid; he’s dancing with complete abandon a few feet away, wings half-unfurled and arms raised high in the air as he spins. Already, a few people have been pulled into his orbit, letting their awkward shuffling loosen into something more inelegant, more natural. “We’ve got it covered. Now go, before you start having deadlines again.”

“To be fair, we have an entire holiday between now and then,” Wilde argues—a bit superfluously, considering he’s already moving away.

Zolf greets Wilde’s approach by sitting up in his chair, eyebrows furrowed and hands raised defensively. “If you try to get me to dance, Wilde, I swear to gods—”

“Already learned my lesson with that one, darling.” Zolf’s ears go a little pink, and Wilde is powerless against the urge to lean into it. “Of course, there are plenty of dances we haven’t tried together—”

“Oh, sod off,” Zolf says, kicking Wilde lightly in the shin; his ears are red, though, so he’s already lost the fight.

[Augusta makes no noise as she’s stabbed through the heart; dead before the pain had a chance to wake her. It’s a mercy, perhaps, but one Cel refuses to let happen to anyone else.

The creature shifts, pulling back its bloodied weapon with Hamid as the clear target, and Cel lunges towards the door, clutching Hamid fiercely against them—and is stopped cold as the creature pierces right through Hamid’s chest.

Like Augusta, Hamid doesn’t cry out when he’s stabbed. He doesn’t move, either; not even when the blade is yanked back out with just force it nearly tugs him from Cel’s arms. Panting, they gather him back against their chest, whatever miniscule safety that might entail, and feel for a pulse. It’s there, thank gods, but only just. He might only have seconds left, and there’s nothing they can do.

At the corner of Hamid’s mouth, Cel can see a smile – the kind he might give during the opening toast of a party, now just the shadow of some wonderful dream – and they do not cry, because what fucking good would that do?]

Just to seal the deal, Wilde drops to his knees in front of Zolf’s chair, bringing them almost eye to eye, and flashes his shiniest grin as he teases, “Don’t worry, I know you love it.” He allows a few seconds for Zolf to huff and pointedly not answer, feeling his chest radiate with warmth, then adds, “Anyway, want to get out of here?”

Zolf’s eyebrows raise, then quickly furrow. “What’re you- that was an awful transition line, ya know. Unless you’re tryna seduce me or somethin’, in which case, why.”

“I’m always trying to seduce you, Zolf, it just never works,” Wilde replies easily. “That’s why I enjoy it so much. And anyway, that’s not what I was asking about. There’s apparently a garden out back, and I thought you might want to take a walk with me.”

“Ain’t you got allergies?”

“It’ll be quiet out there. Poetic.”

Zolf considers for a second, looking Wilde over with a slowly forming smile he’s definitely not conscious of, and for a moment there’s nothing else Wilde wants more than this: kneeling in front of the man he loves, basking in his quiet attention, knowing there’s exciting work ahead and time enough to rest before it comes.

[Zolf spins around, ready to level another attack – he hasn’t hit the thing yet, but maybe if he aims a little lower, forces it to turn for him instead – when he sees the blade sliding out of Hamid’s chest. No. Absolutely not. Without checking it’s clear, he rushes forward, dropping the glaive to his side and redirecting that power into the tips of his fingers. He licks his thumb, presses it firmly to Hamid’s forehead, and, with a low note of please humming in the back of his chest, mutters words of hope and determination into the staticky air.

The wound heals almost immediately, closing like a budding flower in reverse to leave a raised, slightly jagged line of scar tissue; the only proof of how close Hamid was to death. His wings flutter, trying to unfurl in the confines of Cel’s arms, and for a moment, he stirs. Zolf and Cel both breathe out in relief, but by the time he opens his eyes, the poison overcomes him again, and he curls back into Cel’s chest with a contented sound, asleep and completely unaware of the danger around him.

Not exactly what I had in mind, Zolf thinks, but there’s no sharpness to it. The poison in the air was strong enough to knock out people twice Hamid’s size, so he can’t imagine how strong it must be on him. And besides: this might not be a fight where all of them – any of them – get out alive. Can he really blame Hamid for wanting to dream instead?]

“All right, Wilde,” Zolf says at last. “Let’s go for a walk.”

The gardens aren’t particularly large, but they use the space well—bright flowers lining the walkway, bushes and trees bunched together to create the illusion of depth and privacy. Beneath the largest tree, there’s a clear spot where the light filters through like sparkles and the roots breach the soil in just the right way to make a sort of alcove.

It’s exactly the sort of place Wilde would’ve yearned to write poetry in as a teenager, so of course he tugs Zolf over to sit down.

“Thought this was a walk,” Zolf says, eyebrows raised, but makes no argument when Wilde lays down with his head in Zolf’s lap. His fingers quickly find their way into Wilde’s hair, untangling it little by little, and Wilde can’t stop himself from pushing into the touch with a little hum. Thankfully, Zolf just chuckles, scratching lightly at Wilde’s scalp for a moment before continuing.

There’s silence for a few moments, and Wilde idly searches for a pun he can use to fill it; it’s difficult to focus, though, when Zolf is gathering his hair into sections for a braid, those careful fingers brushing occasionally against his temple, his neck, his jaw.

Finally, what Wilde settles for is: “I hope we’re actually allowed out here. I’d hate to go home early because Grizzop took a swing at me again.”

Zolf snorts. “Don’t tempt me. I’ve always wished I had seen that in person.”

“Some partner you are,” Wilde grumbles, trying not to melt when Zolf tucks a few shorter strands of hair behind his ear. “S’posed to defend me, not join the enemy.”

[Zolf does a rapid once-over of Cel to make sure they’re not injured as well. They’re panting and wide-eyed and definitely only not in shock because there’s not time for it, but seem physically all right, which is about as much as he can hope for right now.

He glances to the door of the lab, where Ada and Skraak also seem to be managing okay—and, importantly, where there’s clean air and a door between them and the monster. Grabbing Cel’s arm, Zolf injects as much authority in his voice as he can and orders, “Get in there, close the door, be safe.”

Without waiting for a reply, he sets his glaive on fire and turns back to the fight. They might not all make it out of here – always a risk, in this line of work – but he’ll still do his damndest to make sure at least some of them do.]

There’s no response, save for a suppressed smile and the continuous back-and-forth motion of Zolf’s steady hands. Wilde basks in it for a moment, getting to lay quietly in the grass without even his allergies interrupting them. It brings to mind when he was a child, rolling down muddy hills with his sister and seeing how long the world tiled after they reached the bottom, dazed and laughing.

“She would have loved this party,” he says, brushing a hand through the barely damp grass at his hip. “Isola, I mean.”

“You could’ve brought her, you know,” Zolf replies. “I could’ve- I dunno, watched her, or somethin’. Not like I was doing much anyway.”

Wilde laughs. “She would be terrified of you.”

[Moving has already proven dangerous, so Cel shifts Hamid in their arms and throws him through the door; once he’s safely inside, they swallow their alchemical allocation and pull a previously untouched potion from their jacket. Dragon’s breath—the one they’d been so excited to get after seeing a glimpse of Hamid’s power; the one they’d chattered back and forth about days or maybe months ago, excited to see when Cel might try it out.

“Not leaving you,” Cel says firmly to Zolf’s back, and chugs the potion. Lightning crackles in their body once again, except this time, it feels powerful instead of painful. This time, Cel is going to be helpful instead of helpless. Whatever it takes.]

Zolf snorts. “Oh, so that’s why I haven’t met her yet.”

“Yes, I’m just absolutely terrified you’ll smite her with all your holy rage,” Wilde deadpans, twisting obediently when Zolf taps the side of his head. “Or gods forbid, convert her to hope.”

“Oi,” Zolf says, tugging lightly on Wilde’s hair. “That hope has saved your arse twenty times by now.”

[Azu catches sight of Hamid breathing and nearly crumples with relief. He’s not dead, she didn’t kill him, she might not have to lose someone else—but there’s not time for that, not yet. They have to destroy this thing first, before it hurts anyone else.

She swings her axe as hard as she can, a scream building in her throat as it moans through the air, and – miraculously – it connects. There’s a satisfying thunk, a sharp note of pain; but as she goes to hit it again, it seems not just to dodge, but actively unform and reform around her axe. Learning. Adapting.

In the second it takes for Azu to regain her footing, the monster sinks one of its blades into Sumutnyerl’s chest. The air seems to freeze for a moment, but the strike is lower than it intended, in the stomach rather than the heart, so maybe it isn’t fatal, but Azu doesn’t know. She just doesn’t know.]

Humming noncommittally, Wilde turns his head to look at Zolf, and when he sees the concentration in Zolf’s summer sky eyes, he’s pierced all over again with the force of how much he loves this man—and how much he, in return, is loved. Gods, Zolf is smiling the way he only ever does for a Campbell, and he’s braiding Wilde’s hair as if it’s the most important work his hands have been tasked with, and he looks so utterly, brilliantly happy that Wilde can hardly stand it.

“You alive in there?” Zolf says, tapping him lightly on the cheek.

[There is only one person left unharmed, the horror of the situation made almost a farce by Wilde’s oversized neck ruff and glittering cape. Almost, but not quite, because when the creature turns – body shifting in and out of focus, sword-like arms dripping with the blood of every other being in this corridor – it turns for him.]

Wilde smiles, catching Zolf’s hand before he can pull away. “Yeah,” he murmurs, stupidly fond with it, and rests his lips against Zolf’s knuckles. Zolf’s breath hitches, staring with undisguised awe and quickly reddening cheeks, and Wilde can’t even look at him, he’s so happy. He ducks his head, pushing it against their joined hands; feels Zolf’s warm callouses all the way into his bones. “Thanks to you.”

[There is only one person left.]

“Wilde,” Zolf breathes; a prayer, a promise. Lips press clumsily to his hair, brush his temple as they soak in each other’s presence. “You saved me, too, ya know. So- so many times. I need you, yeah? And I- it- gods, I’m horrible at this, but I just, you’re

[Zolf sees it, this time, when Wilde dies. Sees the sword pierce his chest – right in the heart, a perfect shot – and yank back out with almost careless indifference before the creature turns and does the same thing to Sumutnyerl.

Even dead, Wilde manages to look artistic. His ridiculous cape is flung out beneath him, one arm draped above his head, the barest trace of a smile at the corner of his mouth. He’d been this way after the crash, too, impaled almost a foot off the ground with his limbs dangling and chin flung up to the sky; the perfect semblance of a martyr being raised into heaven. Had he been unconscious then, too? Zolf thinks. Or did he feel the spike go all the way through his chest before he succumbed from the pain?

Doesn’t matter. Zolf had time to mourn when he saved Wilde then; he doesn’t have time now.

Skraak and Ada both attack, but Zolf doesn’t know if the hits land, refuses to process anything that isn’t Wilde and the mere seconds left before he’s gone for good. He throws himself forward, landing hard on his knees beside Wilde’s head, and starts to pray. The magic builds like strong drink in his throat, and he clumsily wipes the blood from Wilde’s mouth as the spell reaches its peak—and is nearly knocked over as the monster deals a crushing blow to his temple.

His vision goes briefly white, blood already dripping down his cheek and jaw, and the magic begins to fizzle away, but he refuses, he refuses. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Zolf presses a hand firmly to the desecration of Wilde’s chest, cradles his cheek with the other. He’s still warm with hope, and Zolf channels that into his prayer, pressing their foreheads together in a way that might’ve been painful, had Wilde been awake to feel it.

Please, he begs the power inside him; begs anyone who’ll listen. Please. Let this be enough to bring him back to me.

The magic bubbles inside Zolf once more, sparkling and bright and warm, and there’s no way to know, really, if it’s enough. It doesn’t matter, of course, because he doesn’t need to know. Because when he presses his mouth to Wilde’s, stroking his cheek and breathing every last ounce of that vital energy into his body, Zolf has hope.

And there, where Zolf’s fingers curl tenderly against Wilde’s neck, new and weak but steady all the same—a pulse.]

The first thing Wilde registers is breath on his face, warmth in his throat—then pain, all over his body but especially in his chest, gods, what happened? He opens his eyes, hoping to regain his bearings; Zolf is there, face mere inches away from his own, which is a nice start.

Realizing he’s awake, Zolf pulls away, fingertips brushing against Wilde’s cheek as he goes. His other hand is pressed firmly to Wilde’s chest, and there’s blood running freely from a wound at his temple. He looks about to cry.

If Wilde didn’t feel unmoored before, he certainly does now. “Zolf- wh- what-”

In lieu of an answer, Zolf pulls Wilde to his feet. There are flashes of movement to the side, none of which Wilde is capable of processing yet; Zolf grabs his arm, which is easier. He looks resolved, in that urgent way he used to get just before leaving on solo missions; Wilde has just enough time to be scared about that before Zolf pulls him close and says, “Get the others out and be safe.”

Wilde opens his mouth in question, but Zolf’s already shoving him away. He stumbles backwards a few steps, more out of shock than actual force, before losing his balance and landing hard on his elbows just inside the lab. His neck snaps back a little, making his vision swim, but he blinks hard to clear it and now, now, he sees it all. The creature. The dead. The ones left standing.

For just a moment, Wilde catches sight of Zolf’s face before he turns away. His eyes nearly glow, lips parted around gritted teeth, and there is rage in his features like Wilde has never seen before. Then he raises his burning glaive, this idiotic man that Wilde loves so unbearably much, and growls, “Right. It’s yer turn now.”

#this fic and i did hand-to-hand combat for NEARLY TWO WEEKS before i bested it #please appreciate it in my honor #rqg #rusty quill gaming #zoscar #rqg wilde #rqg oscar wilde #lolomg #cel sidebottom #rqg azu #hamid saleh haroun al tahan #zolf smith #rqg 207 #rqg fic #zoscar fic #rqg fanfiction #zoscar fanfiction

67 notes · View notes

writingbeary · 3 years

Text

Kingdom - Introduction Stage (pt.2)

Note:

Texts placed inside brackets are Kingdom's show subtitles

Italicized texts are in English

Texts that are block quoted are interview cuts

────────── ♔ ──────────

(Group interviews after ATEEZ performance)

iKON Bobby: When the two of them came in the end with a torch and a flag, I thought they looked really cool.

iKON DK: He was standing at the bow like a captain while holding the torch while she was like the figure head of the ship holding their flag up, the LED on the floor and at the back went well together. It was really cool.

THE BOYZ Hyunjae: I was surprised at the introduction. They were so good and they really showed off their power as a team.

BTOB Changsub: I thought it was a stage fit for the opening. They really made use of the space well.

As ATEEZ reentered the studio, all the groups clapped for them throwing compliments towards their performance.

“You guys are amazing. You’re so cool.” Changbin called out showing a thumbs up particularly towards his friend Wooyoung who grinned in return.

“Were you satisfied with your performance today?” MC Yunho asked the group

“We do feel a bit disappointed. I’m sure some people are seeing us perform for the first time, so if we focus on that, I believe it was a good performance.” Wooyoung answered for the group with the rest of the members nodding in agreement.

“ATEEZ was chosen by iKON to perform first. How did you enjoy their performance?” the hosts turned to ask iKON, the whole of ATEEZ listening attentively to what their thoughts are

“We all thought, ‘What are we supposed to do if the first group is this good?’” DK laughed before continuing “First, their concept and story are so clear, so I was sucked in as soon as they started. I was so surprised. They were so cool. Good job, you guys.”

As the MC continued on the show, the group let out a sigh of relief that their senior groups seem appreciative of their performance. Hongjoong gained the attention of his members as he noted “We did better than we practiced.”

“If we didn’t go first, we wouldn’t have done so well.” Yunho nodded with Minyoung adding in “Since we performed first, I feel really relaxed right now. I’m so thankful iKON-sunbaenim let us go first.”

“We should thank iKON-sunbaenim later.” Hongjoong agreed

“Kim Jinhwan-sunbaenim said that he was sorry for making us go first, but I told him we were grateful for it.”

“The next group that will perform will be chosen by ATEEZ. Do you need some time to discuss?” MC Changmin asked the group, as the other participants look at them nervously

“Could you give us about 10 seconds?” Hongjoong asked as the members made huddled together

The other groups looking at ATEEZ as they discussed who should go next, were all surprised whenever a member looks at their group. Minyoung peeked from the huddle and looked at SF9 who were seated across them.

“Hyung, Minyoung looked at us. I think we’ll be next.” Chani announced to his group making the others laugh nervously.

“Yah, you’re close with her. Tell her to give us some time to prepare our hearts” Dawon joked, making the others ease up a bit

Everyone in ATEEZ suggested a group on who they wanted to perform after them. Seonghwa suggesting Stray Kids but was turned down by Hongjoong saying that it’s not a good idea since their concepts might be similar.

“Since we’re the youngest group, what if we let the oldest group next?” Minyoung suggested with Wooyoung poking her side teasingly “Is that really the reason or did you just want to see them perform already?”

“Both.” Minyoung answered making the others chuckle at her honesty but they agreed that it’s a good idea.

“We made our decision.” Hongjoong said into the microphone with all teams all ears on who ATEEZ picked.

“I think it’s us. He’s looking at me.” Eunkwang whispered to Minhyuk, who was laughing in resignation.

“One of the senior teams is supporting us entirely..” Hongjoong started as all teams looked at each other

[If they’re supportive, is it BTOB?]

BTOB laughed with each other, quite sure that they’ll be picked next.

“I thought that this team would be warmed up. That’s why we chose them. We don’t have any other intention.” Hongjoong reasoned out as the hosts laughed knowing where his words are leading to. “So the team that we choose to perform next is..”

[Who did ATEEZ choose as the second team to do the Introduction Stage?]

“They keep looking at us.” Eunkwang noted as he starts to prepare in his seat.

“We chose BTOB-sunbaenim.” Hongjoong announced, all of ATEEZ bowing towards the group.

“It’s not true though? We’re not warmed up!” Minhyuk joked

Minyoung turned to Wooyoung excitedly saying “I can’t believe I’ll be listening to them perform live for free. I feel like I should pay for a ticket or something.” as the latter laughed patting her back.

Throughout the whole performance of BTOB, Minyoung was just in awe of the group. Being a Melody aside, she was amazed at their vocal prowess particularly when Minhyuk did vocal parts rather despite being the group’s rapper. She was swaying her body lightly side to side throughout the whole song enjoying the performance.

As SF9 was chosen to go next, Minyoung immediately stood up surprising her members as she shouted across the room shooting a heart sign over her head. “SF9 fighting! Kang Chanhee fighting!”

Chani just chuckled nodding in acknowledgment as they all went backstage to prepare. Seonghwa immediately pulling her to sit down, lightly scolding her. “Minyoung-ah, he is our senior during this show.”

“Ahh. That’s true.” Minyoung nodded belatedly realizing how her actions could be interpreted differently, then she met the eyes of Eunkwang as he grinned.

“How come we didn’t get that cheer before we performed?” he asked teasingly making everyone in the studio laugh

Minyoung blushed suddenly feeling embarrassed before answering, as a staff motioned for her to do so for footage “Ahh. I was confident you’d do well even without encouragement.”

Not missing a beat, Eunkwang further teased the girl saying “So you’re not confident that SF9 will do well?” Minyoung was completely red at this point opting to just behind her leader’s back.

“Please don’t tease our little princess too much.” Hongjoong jokingly answered back for Minyoung, as the girl looks as if she just want to sink into her seat and paste herself on his back. The whole studio erupted into chuckles and laughs as SF9 walked back with microphones in ready to start their performance.

When SF9 was performing, Minyoung’s was back to her giddy self as she silently cheered on the group, slapping Wooyoung’s thigh as SF9 showed off their dance and physique. She also started to sing with them as the chorus for Good Guy played nodding along to the music.

“Omo. They’re so neat.” Minyoung commented as Jaeyoon took center spot during the chorus and the whole group danced dropping down a bit in sync. Her reactions were all caught on camera as she gasped when she noticed the bodypack fell off during Taeyang’s dance. “Omo. It fell. The receiver fell. Oh no. Omo” She was worried that it’ll drop or that it’ll distract Taeyang but was surprised with his concentration. Everyone cheered for the group as they finished the performance.

San looked back to his members saying “Wouldn’t I look like that in a suit with some insoles?”

Hongjoong immediately answered him, patting his back “No. Let’s focus on dancing, San.”

“San, focus on your stuff.” Seonghwa added in seriously making Minyoung giggle.

“So I shouldn’t wear a suit? Don’t even dream about it?” San nodded making Minyoung break out into more giggles

“San-oppa, I like you and all but please. We need to protect your image. You can just stick to wearing almost nothing if you want but not suits. Especially not when SF9 is around.” Minyoung teased making the other members laugh

Minyoung looked around the studio, noticing that THE BOYZ and Stray Kids started stretching since they’re the only two left before iKON performs. “They must be so nervous. The ease of having already performed”

Wooyoung called out to his friend “Bin-ah. Bin-ah, stretch some more.”

Changbin looked at him, not understanding what he said “What?”

“Stretch some more.” Wooyoung repeated a bit louder this time.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m worried for you.” Wooyoung stood up in response. Seonghwa sighed reminding him that Stray Kids are their seniors

“You two need to remember they’re our seniors.” Seonghwa looked at both Minyoung and Wooyoung,letting out another sigh

“I didn’t even say anything!” Minyoung pouted as Wooyoung laughed, nodding and saying he’ll be more careful.

SF9 returned to their seats and was interviewed by the hosts when Chani was asked about his thoughts on the performance and the show itself.

“There are many senior singers and junior singers I respect. Being able to perform in front of them makes me proud and happy.” Chani answered bowing to the groups

“Minyoung-ssi, did you enjoy their performance? You were really supportive of them.” MC Changmin turned to look at ATEEZ, surprising the girl as she grabbed the microphone. “How did Chani-ssi do?” he asked teasing her a bit

“Ah yes. I watched their performance well.” Minyoung answered getting flustered when all of SF9 thanked her to which Chani spoke into the microphone “I’m glad. Thank you.”

The next group that will perform as chosen by SF9 is Stray Kids. ATEEZ cheered on the group beside them as they all stood up to get ready.

“Felix! Hyunjin! Break a leg.” Minyoung called out to her fellow Australian friend and her highschool classmate. Felix and Hyunjin turned to her the latter waving at her.

“Yah Young-ah! What about me? The rest of us?” Jisung looked shocked, pointing at her as if accusing her. “Alright. This is war Park Minyoung!”

Minyoung laughed, shaking her head “Alright alright.” she cleared her throat cupping her hands around her mouth before pretending to do a fan cheer “Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N. Stray Kids fighting!” She finished giggling as she looked at Jisung who was surprised she made up a fan chant on the spot. “Happy now?”

Jisung laughed sending a thumbs up her way. “Alright. I’ll forgive you this time. Just this time.” before going with his members to prepare for their stage.

“I’m looking forward to their stage. I wonder what song they’ll be performing. I hope it’s <MIROH>.” Minyoung said as she sat down, excited for the next performance.

“You really like that song.” Yunho chuckled looking at the younger girl

“Mhm! It’s tiring to dance but it’s really hype. I also like <God’s Menu> and <Side Effects> but I like <MIROH> the most.” She said reaching over a drink as if preparing herself the stage

“She loves the song so much that she had it replaying on her playlist when it released. I was pretty sure she’d perform it for her monthly evaluation.” Jongho chuckled joining in the conversation.

“Omo. It’s <MIROH>!” Minyoung gasped as she heard the familiar intro, leaning in a bit focusing on the performance. “Omo. What is that?” as the backdrop changed.

Wooyoung had the same expression as Minyoung as he looked on in awe “It’s a dragon. Magic pearls.”

“As always, Felix’s voice. Oh my god. How come none of our members has a voice that goes that deep?” Minyoung mumbled, her members glancing at her with some amused and some sulking a bit

During Stray Kids’ stage, Minyoung was so focused into the performance that Hongjoong had to close place a hand under her chin to close her mouth, the leader chuckling. Then as soon as Changbin’s part came with the fireworks she was so excited along with Wooyoung that the leader had to make sure the two doesn’t stand up in their excitement.

“That was so cool! I didn’t know Chris could backflip!” Minyoung exclaimed as the performance ended.

With THE BOYZ being the only one left before the finale stage, everyone looked on at the group anticipating what they’ll show for their stage.

“I watched Road to Kingdom and they did a lot of stages that utilizes the stage well. They even have a storyline prepared. I wonder if they’ll continue those.” Minyoung asked no one in particular

“What this?” Yunho asked as the group went to their formations.

“I think it’ll be a completely different performance.” Wooyoung commented as the familiar yellow tinted lights turn on.

“Ohhh Eric. Sunwoo-yah!” Minyoung exclaimed as her two friends performed their parts and when everyone did the floor choreography as the LED floors changed colors Minyoung looked on with wide eyes. “Omo. They’re so cool but also elegant. As expected of THE BOYZ-sunbaenim, they know how to use the stage well.”

“That was impressive” Yeosang agreed

“From the formation at the start, it was a different It was like they’re saying ‘This is our house’. They showed off their skills and the experience they gained during Road to Kingdom.” Hongjoong noted during their interview

Everyone’s energy suddenly gone up when they realized who will be performing next.

“We should pay to watch them perform live.” Seonghwa commented as the most awaited group performed with Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and Minyoung nodding in agreement.

“I want to sit next to iKON-sunbaenim.” San confessed, the members agreeing that they also want to try talk to them before the show ends.

The group interview revealed how everyone in ATEEZ was a fan of iKON. San revealed that he went to their concert and Minyoung, who was a former YG trainee, also revealed that during trainee evaluations everyone would gather around and watch their performances even pre-debut.

iKON’s team cheer was heard through the studios and all the teams were all excited for what they prepared for the Introduction Stage.

Hongjoong sat up straight anticipating the last stage “I can’t wait for iKON-sunbaenim’s performance.”

“I wonder what song will it be. They have a lot. I really like <Killing Me>.” Minyoung counted on her hand all the songs that has music show wins that she can remember

“Personally, I want to see <Rhythm Ta>” Wooyoung nodded as he did the dance motions for the song

“I can’t wait!” Seonghwa piped up, smiling

Will they be performing a song we expected?” Hongjoong asked as iKON took their places on the stage

“Omo. What is it?” Minyoung asked as all the lights turned red with iKON’s logo in the back. Then when Rhythm Ta sounded, everybody let out an excited cheer with almost all members singing along to the iconic line.

“Bobby-sunbaenim looks so relaxed on stage.” Minyoung noted while Wooyoung excitedly agrees with her, super focused on the performance “They are so cool!”

As the performance ended, all of ATEEZ was still visibly excited. “That’s it? It’s already 100 seconds? It feels so short.” Minyoung exclaimed standing up from her seat clapping.

“That was just like iKON-sunbaenim from the part.” Seonghwa commented as the members huddled

Hongjoong agreed, adding in “They are just so unique.”

“Something about them is different.” Wooyoung nodded still giddy from seeing his idols perform in front of him

“Even their rhythm is different.” “It’s all hip-hop. Waah. iKON-sunbaenim is really the definition of swag.” Seonghwa and Minyoung commented while San excited pipes in “The scent of America entered my nose.”

After all the groups performed, the hosts were asking the participants what they thought of the performances with San answering for ATEEZ.

“You can’t hold back on this.” San answered when asked to describe everything in one sentence.

(Group interviews after all the performances)

“I just wish we won’t come in last.” San and Wooyoung said making the others agree.

“Now that we’ve finished filming, I think Minyoung is the most excited about the show.” Hongjoong smiled looking at the girl

“That’s true. She might be the happiest too.” Jongho agreed laughing

“Me? What about me?” Minyoung asked curious about what Hongjoong is hinting at.

“You’re a fan of everyone. So you’re the happiest regardless of who performs.” Seonghwa explained to her

“Ah that’s true. That’s true. It’s like being in a concert and fan meeting. If I had my lightstick then I’d probably be waving it and do the fanchant along all the performances.” Minyoung admitted laughing

"Does that mean you are going to bring your cheering goods next time?” San jokingly asked the others chiming in to tease her

“If I’m allowed to, why not? I’ll be the representative of all fandoms.” Minyoung laughed, unfazed by the teasing.

“Ah but I need someone to be a representative of Atiny for me while we perform. I hope our sunbaenims help us with that.” Minyoung giggled before bowing at the camera

[Park Minyoung / 22 / Main Dancer / Representative to all Kingdom Fandoms]

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for entertainment. Thank you for understanding.

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner

I think I lied. This might be longer than the previous part lol I’m still thinking of just changing stuff to dialogues so it won’t be a long read for everyone.

Example:

Name: -insert text here-

Do tell me your thoughts! Thanks for reading :)

-Mimi

#kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez 9th member #ateez au #ateez oc #kpop oc #kpop au #atz au #atz oc #park minyoung #ateez minyoung #minyoung masterlist #writing beary

60 notes · View notes

softholand · 4 years

Text

drunk words, sober thoughts - t.h

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: alcohol, swearing, sexual themes, lap dance, a tiny bit of angst, fluff, smut

word count: 4k

a/n: it’s here, my first ever smut, go easy on me, i’m fucking nervous!!!! i wanna thank @missevrythingg for helping me, i wouldn’t dave done it without you, i love you ray 💖 i really hope you guys enjoy!! i also made a playlist for this fic, it really sets the mood for it!! again, english in not my first language so there’s probably some mistakes/typos, just pretend you didn’t see it! ;) oh and please, do let me know what you guys think, it really helps! i love you all, happy reading! 💓

It had been a long time since Tom last saw you. Between his acting career and your college scholarship in Canada, you guys barely kept contact for the last year. That’s why, when you finally came back home, he decided to throw you a surprise birthday party.

Sam was responsible to bring you to the club Tom had rented for the night, with the excuse that the place had just opened and it was a success already. He told you to get dressed and since Tom’s car was already full of people, he offered you a drive, which you gladly accepted.

Music was blasting from the nightclub when Sam parked his car near the entrance of the building, making you even more excited to be celebrating your birthday with your childhood friends. It wasn’t until you stepped foot in the club and saw all your friends with a giant banner on top of their heads saying “Happy 21st Birthday, y/n!” that you realized the party was, in fact, for you.

Sam was the first to hug you and wish you a happy birthday, but from the corner of your eye, you saw Tom approaching you with a smirk the size of the place on his face, making you sure it was his idea.

“Surprise!” He whispered in your ear as soon as he wrapped his arms around you. “You little shit!” That was the only thing you could say upon realizing he was, in fact, the mastermind behind all of this.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s your 21st birthday, I had to!” Tom stated, making you roll your eyes. “No, you didn’t! But thank you!” You answered, giving your friend another hug.

The rest of the boys greeted you, all wishing you a happy birthday, which you thanked, hugging each one. Suddenly you saw Cara, one of your friends from high school that had unfortunately moved to Australia and you hadn’t seen her since.

“No, you didn’t!” You screamed, making direct eye contact with Tom. “I did it!” He stated, making your smile grow even wider. Without wasting time, you run to your friend, hugging her like she was going to disappear at any minute.

“I can’t believe you’re here! I missed you!” You said, smiling so much that your cheeks hurt. “I missed you too, y/n/n! And yeah, I couldn’t believe either when Tom Holland contacted me, wanting to bring me to England!” She said, making both of you laugh.

Once you had greeted all of your friends, Tom went to the stage with a microphone, shouting “It’s time to party!” at the top of his lungs, making everyone scream and celebrate. “Crazy In Love” started to play as soon as he left the stage and that was only the beginning. Tom knew your obsession with old pop, so throughout the night, he made sure the DJ played all your favorites.

Between the bar special drinks and tequila shots, you lost track of time and were now dancing “I’m A Slave 4 You” with your girlfriends. The song blasted from the speakers, the alcohol in your system making you lose control of your own body. Cara still remembered some of the choreography of the song, from when you two were kids and used to learn all of Britney Spears's music videos, and so practically obliged you to do it with her.

Tom, Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry, and Sam were sitting in one of the dark red booths at the back of the club, with beers in hands, watching as you and Cara gave a show to everyone present.

“When did y/n get so hot?” Harry was the first to point out, making his twin brother chuckle. “While she was in Canada, apparently!” Tuwaine shrugged, gulping the icy liquid in his hands.

“Tom, you better close your mouth, you’re going to catch flies!” Harrison teased his friend, earning him a deadly glare. “Fuck off!” Tom shoved him, before going back to admiring how your body moved perfectly to the music.

When the first notes of “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll” started, your drunk body made its way into the stage, grabbing the microphone, ready to lip-sync another one of your favorites songs. Your friends all gathered at the front of the stage, screaming and encouraging you to keep going. You still remembered Britney’s classic performance and so, you tried your best to copy her movements, just like in the music video.

Screams filled the crowded space of the nightclub while you pretended to sing the song. Cara and another one of your friends joined you on the stage, pretending to be your back singers. The boys observed you while you played with the microphone cord, twisting it on your finger. What they didn’t expect was for you to get on your knees, continuing the, rather sexy, performance on the stage floor.

“Holy shit!” Harrison exclaimed, not drawing the attention of his friends, who were busy watching you. “Should we do something?” Asked Sam, clearly concerned by your, rather drunk, actions. “Yeah, get closer!” His twin brother answered, getting off the booth and making his way to the stage, quickly being followed by the others.

When your eyes caught Tom’s brown (and lusty) ones, you made a point of getting close and teasing him by playing with his hair, which made everyone else lose their minds over it. When the song ended, he helped you get out of the stage while your friends applauded, praising you for the performance.

“Need some help there, love?” Tom asked, securing you in his arms when your legs felt like jelly. “Nope! I’m goooood!” You answered, extending the o’s, completely out of your mind.

“I see! Maybe you should slow down the drinks?” You knew Tom was just trying to help you, but being in your embriagate state, you just shushed him, putting a finger on his lips. “I have a better idea, what if... we did more shots?” You shouted, getting out of his embrace and making your way to the bar.

A couple more hours had passed and unfortunately, the party was coming to an end. Some of your guests had already left, but the ones that stayed were left on the dancing floor, with not so much energy as before.

But everything changed when “Dance for You” by Beyoncé started to play, you didn’t know how but a chair appeared in the middle of the dancing floor, completely out of nowhere. You immediately understood what whoever put that chair there wanted and if you haven’t before, your friends shouting “lap dance” had also made it very clear.

As intoxicated as you were, you knew exactly who you wanted on that chair. Seductively, you made your way to Tom, making grabby hands once you were in front of him. The screams only increased when he accepted your invitation without so much of a protest.

Making your way to the chair, you made Tom sit, going around it and putting your hands on his shoulders. To be completely honest, you had no idea what you were even doing. You never gave a lap dance before, so this was new territory for you. But your friend's screams and Tom’s lusty eyes gave you all the encouragement you needed.

Your hands explored every inch of his body, through his chest, abs, neck, shoulders, what your hands could reach, you were touching, always making sure to get close to his ear and tease him as best as you could.

You used the music to your advantage, moving your body to the beats, making sure to emphasize your hips. When you finally sat on his lap, it was like the end of a war, everyone was celebrating, screams and whistles could be heard even with the loud music.

Tom didn’t know what to do, he just awkwardly sat there, with his hands by his sides, dying to touch you. His wishes came true when you finally took his hands, putting them on your waist, where they stayed glued to your body. You continued your performance, grinding, swirling, doing all the things you knew about lap dance and by Tom’s reactions, you seemed to be doing a really good job. His eyes were on your body all the time but they seemed different, now dark shades of brown, almost black, covered his once hazel irises.

The song was, unfortunately, coming to an end, and to finish your show, you properly took a seat in Tom’s lap, straddling his waist, and this time, you could feel how much he was enjoying your performance. With the position, your already revealing dress left nothing to the imagination, and locking your eyes with his, you saw nothing but lust and desire, very different things that you used to see in your friend's stare.

You leaned in and he did too, and once your faces were only millimeters away, you suddenly lost all the courage on your body and pulled away, burying your face into his neck instead. Next thing you know, you were being helped into Tom’s car while your friends discussed where you were gonna spend the night.

“I can’t bring her home like that, her parents are going to kill me!” You heard Tom say. “Well, let’s take her to our place then! We can send them a text saying she’s staying with us.” Sam offered and the rest of the group seemed to agree since you didn’t hear any more discussion.

You must have blacked out again because suddenly you were being put in a bed. “Where am I?” You asked, feeling your throat dry. “You’re at my house, darling! It’s okay, you can sleep now!” You heard Tom’s voice but couldn’t find him with your blurred vision. “No, I don’t wanna sleep!” You protested, sounding like a three-year-old, which Tom chuckled.

“What do you wanna do then?” He pushed, and you felt a weight on the bed. “I can think of some things…” You whispered, passing your fingers through his shirt, feeling his hard abs underneath your palms. “y/n, you’re drunk!” Tom tried warning, earning him a scoff. “You are too!” You mocked, really sounding like a child now.

“Yeah, and that’s why we’re not gonna do anything that we may regret tomorrow.” He said, taking your hand in his. “Nooo, I want you!” At this stage, your mouth had a mind of its own because you couldn’t even process the things you were saying and that was one of them.

“I’m sorry, darling! We can talk about this tomorrow when we’re both sober. Okay?” Tom was trying. He was trying so hard to not give in to your pressure, you were practically begging him to sleep with you. But no, he couldn’t. You were both drunk and this type of decision shouldn’t be made under the influence of alcohol.

“You’re no fun!” You complained, earning another chuckle from him. “Yeah, yeah! You’re gonna thank me tomorrow!” He told you and once you didn’t respond anymore, he realized that you had fallen asleep.

He then took off your shoes, your makeup with one of his spare makeup remover wipes and exchanged your dress for one of his old shirts, making you the most comfortable he possibly could, since he knew you were going to have a pretty bad hangover the next day.

Oh, the next day. You woke up feeling like the whole world was spinning, you felt nauseous, your head was pounding and you smelled like alcohol. Opening your eyes, you saw a bottle of water and some painkillers by your side, which you were quick to chug all down.

“Good morning, birthday girl!” Harrison’s voice was like a hammer to your already sore head. “Please, don’t! I’m dying!” You pleaded, laying down again.

“Oh, c’mon! Wore yourself out yesterday?” Harry’s voice came out of nowhere, but you were too tired to further investigate. “How bad was it?” You asked, actually scared of the answer.

“You know… the normal! You drank, danced, drank more, did a lip sync of a Britney Spears song, drank some more…” Harrison started to point out, making you groan and hide your face in the covers.

“Wait, wait, wait! I’m in Tom’s bed, wearing only one of his shirts… Does that mean we…?” you inquired, making the boys loudly groan. “y/n, c’mon! No, he slept on the couch!” Harry grunted, making a disgusted face.

“But you gave him a lap dance!” Sam’s voice startled you, making you jump on the bed.

“I did what?!!!!!!” You shouted, making the pounding in your head even worse. “I knew you weren’t going to remember so I recorded everything.” Harrison’s passed you his phone.

And just like he said, there you were, in Tom’s lap, with your tits practically in his mouth, while you danced and swirled your hips to a Beyoncé song. “No, no, no, no! Why did you guys let me do that?” You asked, completely perplexed with your actions.

“Well, you seemed to be enjoying it and it was your birthday party, we didn’t want to ruin your day,” Harry said, which earned him a death glare. “But my day is ruined! How am I supposed to face Tom now?!” You questioned, looking dumbfounded at your friends.

“Well, you better think about something because our families planned a brunch in a couple of hours,” Sam told you, matter of factly, making you loudly groan and slide even further under the covers.

Half an hour later, you were forced by your friends to get up, take a shower and get ready for brunch, since there was no way your parents would let you miss it, it was your birthday after all. With a simple summer dress, that you had laying around at the boy's place and sunglasses that were the size of your head, you made your way downstairs, where they were already waiting for you.

“Good morning!” Tuwaine’s deep voice startled you from his place on the couch, next to Tom, who you completely ignored. “Please, don’t!” You protested, feeling a hammer in your head every time you took a step.

Quickly, you made your way to the garage, not wanting to face Tom in any circumstances. Once he and the twins got into his car, Tom made his way to the restaurant where your families were already waiting.

To say the brunch was a complete disaster was an understatement. You were practically a zombie, the food at your plate made you want to throw up and the pain in your head was not ceasing. You could see Tom sneaking glances, trying to talk to you, but you looked away and dismissed him every time, you were just too embarrassed to even look at him.

When the torture was finally over, your parents asked if you wanted to come back home but you decided to stay with the boys, since you knew you had to talk to Tom at some point. The ride back was silent, only the sound of the radio could be heard and to be honest, the tension was starting to get you. Once Tom parked the car in front of the house, you and the twins were getting out when he stopped you.

“You can go ahead, I want to show y/n a place.” He said and you immediately looked at him with your brows raised, having no idea what he was talking about, but praying it didn’t have anything to do with last night's events.

Once the twins were out, you got into the passenger seat and Tom drove away, not even saying a word to you. The drive was short and just a couple of minutes after, he was pulling into an empty parking lot. Turning off the car, he put one of his arms behind the passenger seat, facing you completely.

“Oh, that’s it?” You asked, clearly confused with what was going on. “There wasn’t a place, y/n! I just wanted for us to be alone so we could talk.” Tom stated.

“Tom, let’s not…” You tried to brush off the conversation but he wasn’t having. “Yes, y/n! What’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?”

“Please, Tom! Don’t pretend nothing happened last night!” You rolled your eyes, still avoiding his gaze. “I’m not the one pretending here! You won’t even look me in the eye!” He huffed, getting tired of your behavior.

“I’m ashamed, okay?!!!” You screamed, losing your inner battle and finally looking at him. “God, the things I did to you last night were… awful!” You said, quickly averting his gaze.

“I wouldn’t use that word!” Tom smirked, making you roll your eyes and cross your arms. “Seriously, y/n! It’s not that serious!”

“It is to me, Tom! I’m not used to stuff like that!” You told him, getting tired of the conversation. “Well, it’s not like I haven’t thought about you like that!” The boy tells you.

“You what?” Looking back at him, you could see a giant smirk plastered on his face. “Oh, c’mon y/n! Don’t tell me you never thought about it?” Tom inquired, making you suddenly nervous.

“What? No! I mean… yeah, you’re… you’re hot but… no! Never like... that!” You tried your best to keep your voice steady and not give in to him but your stuttering made it clear you were failing.

“Really? That’s a shame! Because you looked stunning sitting on my lap last night. Made me think about so many things to do to you.” He whispered, very close to your ear, making you squirm on your sit.

“Tom…” You moaned, feeling his hot palm on your thigh. “What is it, y/n?” Tom asked, looking at you with eyes full of lust and desire, all for you. “Kiss me!” You begged and in seconds, his lips were on yours.

You were lying before, of course, you had already thought about Tom in more… sexual ways. The boy was practically a greek god, there was no way you couldn’t notice how his perfect six-pack showed even underneath his stupidity tight T-shirts. But nothing in this world could prepare you for the overwhelming sensation you felt when you kissed. It was like a fire ignited inside of your body and only he could help make it stop.

When the kisses weren't enough anymore, you tried to get into his lap, but the positions you were in prevented you from that. “Backseat?” He asked, breathing heavily. “Yes!” You desperately nodded.

In quick but awkward movements, you and Tom made your way to the backseat and he didn’t lose time by putting you in his lap, encouraging you to grind on his already hard bulge. “You’re so hot!” He breathed between kisses, making you grind even harder.

“Tom…” You moaned, putting one of your hands on his pants, teasing his still clothed cock, while the other stayed on his broad shoulders, steadying yourself. Moans filled the car once Tom put one of his hands on your core, already dripping wet. “God, look at you!” He praised, biting your bottom lip.

“Tom, please…” You pleaded, moving your hips faster, trying to get some relief. “What do you want, darling?” He murmured, putting your underwear to the side, coating his fingers with your slickness. “Fuck!” You cried out, begging him to keep touching you.

“It’s okay, I’m gonna take care of you!” Tom increased his movements and in seconds you were a mess on top of him, moans mixed with curse words left your mouth, making him even more eager for you. “Tom!” You moaned, taking his hand off of you when you were on the edge of your high, making him raise his brows.

“I wanna cum with you!” You whispered and at that moment, Tom felt completely intoxicated with you. Smirking, he fished a condom from his wallet, before taking his pants and boxers off. You wrapped your hand around his shaft, spreading his precum, feeling him twitch only with your touch.

Teasingly, you took the package out of his hands and opened it with your teeth, before sliding the latex material on his cock. “You know we don’t have to, right? I mean, I want to but if you don’t, that’s okay!” Tom let you know, and the look in his eyes told you he was telling nothing but the truth. “I know! But I want to!” You stated, making him smile before colliding his lips on yours.

One of Tom’s hands goes to your hip to guide you onto him as you hold your underwear to the side. Moans fill the car as you sink onto him, both of you at a loss of words with this new overwhelming sensation. “So fucking good!” You gasp, as Tom starts to help you move your hips up and down, increasing the speed with each move.

It doesn’t take long for you to be reaching your high but this time Tom will not let you escape. He presses one of his slender fingers on your clit, doing circular motions that drive you insane. “Tom, don’t stop… oh, fuck!” Your walls clench around him, as you feel your orgasm washing over in waves of pleasure.

“You good?” He asks with a cocky smirk after a few minutes of your racked breaths, making you want to slap it out of his face. “Not bad!” You tease him, quickly regretting your choice of words when he starts pounding into you with no mercy. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You cried, closing your eyes with the amount of pleasure he’s giving you.

“What is it, darling? I can’t hear you!” It’s his turn to tease you and after a few minutes, you’re left moaning out his name again, like it’s the most blessed praying in the world. “y/n, fuck!” With the feeling of your body convulsing on top of him, Tom loses the battle and as he screams your name, you can feel his cock twitch inside of you, making you clench around him.

With heavy breaths and sore bodies, you and Tom stay glued to one another, in silence, enjoying the post-sex feeling. “God, we should have done this a long time ago!” Tom smirks, making you chuckle. “Absolutely!” You laugh, leaving a kiss on his swollen lips.

Once you two had cleaned up and Tom got rid of the used condom, he invited you for ice cream, and, to be honest, how could you deny it? The place he took you was like a unicorn dream, the walls were pink with colorful sprinkles painted on it. After you were both seated on a rainbow table, a waitress came offering you a smile, before taking your orders, chocolate fudge for you, vanilla bean for Tom.

“So…” He said, trying to start a conversation. “So…” You copied him, feeling suddenly aware of what you two had done. “I’m… you know what? I’m just gonna ask it! What we did before was just… sex for you?” Tom blurted out, making your whole body fill with anxiety.

“Oh, I… I don’t know. I mean, I was... hoping not?” You answered, using the courage still left on your body. “Yeah?” He smiled, seemingly relaxed with your choice of words. “Me too!” He completed, taking one of his hands in yours.

You smiled, feeling completely enamored with the boy sitting in front of you. Leaning in, you kissed his lips, sweetly and slowly, feeling his smile grow between the kisses. Once you were done with the ice cream, he took you to the park, where you stayed until sunset, holding hands, stealing kisses, and watching adorable old couples doing the same things you were doing, even after all the years together.

“So… did you enjoy your birthday?” Tom asked, as soon as you took a seat on the freshly cut grass in front of a beautiful lake with a couple of swans peacefully swimming. Smiling, you leaned in, placing a kiss on his lips, before answering. “It was the best!”

tagging some mutuals: @definitely-not-black-cat @stuckonspidey @bi-writes @missnxthingg @peeterparkr @tomhollandthing @wazzupmrstark @screamholland @fallinfortom @duskholland

#my writing #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland writing

240 notes · View notes

writingletterstothefire · 3 years

Text

my sweet baby

A/N: Hi friends! This was my first attempt at writing, initially submitted to the lovely Clarke on @sergeantkane. She was kind enough to post this for me when I was too scared to post it to my own blog. If you like it, please let me know!

Additionally, I’m going to try to make my reader inserts as inclusive as possible. Please let me know if you see anything too specific when I describe my reader that would take you out of the experience. Thank you!

You were purposefully trying to piss him off now. You had to be. That’s the only explanation for why you were here, again, wearing that infuriating white sundress and those strappy heels that were just casual enough for the outfit to be called casual. The low back, which showed off nearly the entirety of your smooth back, also showed precisely what he expected; you weren’t wearing a bra. The confirmation of his theory only served to infuriate him even more. You had to know the effect you had on him. Santi was furious. How could you tease him like this?

Of course, you had no idea of the effect you had on him. How could you? You’d been at this resort for a week, and you’d attended every single dance lesson provided for the patrons of said resort. You’d also attended all of his performances, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the complex lifts and beautiful spins that he and his fellow dancers made look so easy. And, at each of those events, he regarded you with nothing short of disdain and fury. You had no clue what you had done to offend him. You had greatly admired him from the first moment you walked up to the gazebo he was teaching in as you and your family arrived to the resort. A trip to this lovely Columbian get away had been planned for months, and while you knew the locals were a beautiful people, you never could have dreamt of him. All dazzling smiles and charm as he spun the middle-aged mothers around, shouting out words of encouragement, no matter how much of a travesty they truly looked while trying to replicate the incredibly complicated dance steps he made look so simple. Once he’d made the rounds, you had smiled hopefully, walking straight up to him with full intent to tell him how amazing you thought he was, but as soon as you got within two feet of him, he seemed to freeze up. He’d muttered out his name, Santiago Garcia, in a choked manner, his face turning scarlet in what you now assumed was poorly concealed fury. At what, you didn’t know to this very moment. What bothered you the most, was how hard you tried to get him to like you. You cheered extra loudly, chose to sit front row, brought roses to hand out to all the dancers. Each time, he brushed you aside.

But what you didn’t know about was the war, raging inside Santi. Each time your name passed someone lips, he grew jealous, wanting to be the only one to speak that name. Every moment your gaze burned into his, he felt the flames of desire licking at his skin. This was wrong. So wrong. He was closer to your father’s age than yours. Granted, you were a fully consenting adult, or at least you would be, had he bothered to show you any interest. Still, he grew concerned. Fourteen years divided you. You were twenty-five, he was pushing thirty-nine. Surely, this was wrong. And that’s why he had to push you away. He couldn’t give you the life you deserve, he couldn’t even get down on one knee to propose. Wait, propose? Oh, damnit, he’s a goner.

All of this to wind up back to the current matter at hand—you, here at this reception in honor of the dancers, looking beautiful as ever. You were here as one last attempt; if he disregarded you now, you would give up. Your family was here for another month, you couldn’t keep harboring this silly crush on a man who clearly had no interest. But, when Santi brushed by you again, in favor of charming the older women of the resort, you deflated. You made your move to the table where your families’ discarded drinks and half eaten dinners sat, thrown to the side as you had been, in favor of a dance lesson. But, before you got to that coveted seat you were longing to take, a large body appeared in front of you. Benny Miller.

You knew Benny, you’d met him plenty of times before in dance lessons where he tried to sweep your cousin, Alicia, off her feet. She was a stunner, a true ten out of ten, and every man within twenty miles of the resort had been vying for her attention, including Benny. Lucky for him, she seemed to only have eyes for him. He gave you that heart-stopping grin of his, and you knew what he wanted.

“Benny, I can’t sneak Alicia out again,” you groaned. “Our parents are going to figure out that there’s no luau being held by the tennis courts, and I’m getting tired of waiting outside, alone, in the damn humid nights they have here.”

His grin only widened, quickly grabbing your waist and guiding you out to the dance floor, pretending you were just another tourist getting a lesson. “Come on, dulcita, I’m begging! It won’t be as long as last night, I swear.”

The dancers had taken to calling you “dulcita”, on account of them finding you so sweet, what with constantly supporting them and gifting them flowers. All the dancers but one. Speak of the devil, you noticed him angrily knock back his drink that he’d previously been nursing, storming across the dancefloor to his dance partner. Bella was a tanned, long-legged, brunette, with a heart of gold and an ass of steel. You watched over Benny’s shoulder as the two dancers, moved seamlessly in sync. It made sense that the two of them would wind up together. Both professional dancers, both equally drop-dead gorgeous, and both charming as hell. Blinking away any wetness that had gathered in your eyes, you looked up at Benny.

“Fine. You’ll have two hours, that’s it.”

Why had you agreed to this? The weather tonight had skipped over humid, and dropped completely into freezing. It was like the weather was mocking you. Benny and Alicia had disappeared into the locker rooms by the tennis courts, leaving you to wander the grounds nearby to escape any unwelcome sounds coming from the building. You’d learnt your lesson that first night. Since then, you’d discovered a small garden near the back of the property. This became your favorite place to wander while you waited for the two lovebirds to wrap up.

“Dulcita,” the familiar voice called out, the word feeling alien because of who was saying it. “What are you doing out here? It’s fuckin’ freezing.”

You were speechless. You were overwhelmed, this was the most he’d ever said to you in one shot. And to use your nickname on top of it all? You very well might pass out. He huffed at your silence, hurrying over to you and wrapping his suit jacket around you, before stepping back quickly, as though he may catch some disease from standing too close.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Oh no. You hadn’t meant to blurt that out. You saw your mistake as his ears began to turn red, not from the cold, but from the anger reflected in his eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not the one standing out in the fuckin’ cold, wandering around a garden at all hours of the night. I was just passing through, and I see you flitting around the flowers like some goddamn fairy. What are you doing out here, anyways? Waiting for Benny?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yes, I’m waiting for Benny! Who do you think sneaks Alicia out so he can fuck her in the fucking locker rooms?” You rolled your eyes, fed up with his attitude. “Not that it’s any of your goddamn business. Where’s Bella, anyway? Shouldn’t you be dry humping her on a dancefloor somewhere?”

A look of confusion passed over him. “Alicia? But I thought you and Benny… What the hell are you talking about? Bella, my dance partner? The one who’s about to go on leave because she’s pregnant with her and Frankie’s second kid?” He looked almost amused now. “Now wait just a minute. Dulcita, were you jealous of Bella?”

You must have stood there gaping for a full thirty seconds, before you could muster up a weak, “N-No…”

Yeah, you weren’t convinced either. But you mustered up courage from somewhere, getting in his face. “Wait! Were you insinuating that I was fucking Benny?! Because, first of all, I’m offended that you would think so little of me-“

The words of protest died on your tongue, and were replaced with Santi’s own tongue as it dove into your mouth, mid-argument. You melted right into the kiss, arms flailing for a moment, before coming to rest on his chest, leaving them there until Santi pulled back.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since you showed up to this shithole,” he whispered, breath fanning across our face at his still-close proximity. His arms stayed wrapped around your waist, where they’d moved to pull you in for the kiss.

“I-I’m confused,” you squeaked, gripping his shirt lightly as the chest to keep him from pulling any further back. “I thought y-you hated me?”

Santi sighed, “I never hated you. I… I hated myself. I hated myself for falling for a girl like you. Thought that there was no way you’d go for an old man like me, when you’re so young and in your prime. I’d just… hold you back. I thought it might be easier if I didn’t get attached, but I did anyways, and, fuck, dulcita… Now that I’ve kissed you, I can’t turn back.”

“What if I didn’t want you to turn back?” Your bright eyes bore into his. “What if… we see where the rest of the summer takes us? See where we’re at when it’s time to for me to leave? I could summer here from now on, you could winter in the States…” You blushed deeply, “I’m sorry, I’m getting ahead of everything…”

Santi’s grin had grown with every word you said, gently grabbing your chin to keep your eyes level with his. “Sounds like a plan to me, dulcita.”

With that, he closed the gap between you, small as it was, and kissed you with more fire and passion than you had ever felt in your life.

#santiago garcia x reader #triple frontier #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia #santiago x reader #santi x reader #triple frontier fanfiction #my writing

76 notes · View notes

charles-edwin · 4 years

Text

Venji has always been endgame: Benji’s attraction to Victor

the first thing I really need people to understand is that Benji is not watching the show, he’s not seeing things through Victor’s point of view, and for the most part of the season he has no idea Victor is struggling with his sexuality. from Benji’s point of view, Victor is straight and into Mia. that’s how I’m going to be analyzing his thoughts and actions (well, guessing mostly because he does lack screen time and insight moments. hopefully we’ll get more of him in season two!!)

btw I’m gonna break it down episode by episode because I’m insane (and I also feel strangely connected to Benji so don’t @ me)

Episode 1 - Welcome to Creekwood

as I’ve mentioned before, you can interpret Benji’s “nice shoes!” line as interest. but even if you’re not willing to do that, I still think it’s valid to consider that he might’ve felt some kind of immediate connection to Victor (if episodes 2 and 3 are any indication of that. and the Call Me Maybe lyrics).

Episode 2 - Stoplight Party

the “Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso” scene is very much about Victor’s attraction to Benji so I don’t wanna look too much into it. also Benji comes off as (at least for me!) a very attentive and loving person, so his dedication to teaching Victor felt very genuine. but still like...... he did get lost in Victor’s eyes for a moment before the milk spilled akdjksdjjs

then at the end of the episode Benji calls Victor late at night (he even apologizes for that) when he could’ve called Victor at any other time or could’ve just told him at school. and well, (I may be reaching here but headcanons are always good!!) I like to believe Benji couldn’t stop thinking about Victor, which is why he decided to call. for some unknown reason he already feels connected to Victor and wanted to hear his voice and—

let me stop here before I write a whole fanfic because that’s not the purpose of this post.

Episode 3 - Battle of the Bands

oh boy, I’m gonna try to unpack this episode, hopefully I’ll make some sense. I’m very sorry if I fail!

so, Victor and Benji have the Call Me Maybe (cutest) moment, in which Victor tells Benji that he’s going on a date with Mia the next day.

Now. I need you to remember that Victor explicitly told Benji that he and Mia wouldn’t go to the Battle of the Bands and that Benji had already performed when Victor got there and only performed again because his band won the battle (so I’m pretty sure Victor wasn’t supposed to hear the Call Me Maybe cover). therefore this wasn’t Benji confessing his feelings to Victor. if anything, I believe it was his way of dealing with the intense and ever-growing feelings that he has for Victor through his biggest passion (music), pretty much like making a reference to something that you know no one else will understand (since for everyone else it’s just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop).

but then Victor eventually shows up and hears Benji singing Call Me Maybe and for him it’s definitely not just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop anymore. it’s their song

after the performance, it looks like Benji is going to talk to him about it, maybe to try and make it seem like it’s no big deal (since he thinks Victor is into Mia, and he himself is in a long term relationship) but Derek appears and we’re all left heartbroken (Simon & his friends included).

what I’m trying to say is: they are two halves of the same idiot. while Victor is in denial of his sexuality and attraction to Benji, Benji is in denial of his growing feelings for Victor. we love this denial duo

Episode 4 - The Truth Hurts

not much to say about this one BUT. at the beginning of the episode you can see how Victor and Benji are working totally in sync, to the point where they barely need words like the freaking soulmates that they are. honestly, I’m done pretending they aren’t soulmates because this show just kept shoving that into our faces over and over and if you failed to see it then it’s not my problem (or maybe it is since I’m literally spending my time trying to explain exactly that. but I just care too much about these two and I want people to understand why).

then Derek calls and Benji picks up lovingly because he’s a loving person and a caring boyfriend and even though he might be struggling with his feelings for Victor, he’s not about to neglect his boyfriend (shame we can’t say the same thing about Derek) (no I will not stop throwing shade at him).

Episode 5 - Sweet Sixteen

I could try and say several things about this one but for real, BENJI DREW VICTOR AND GAVE HIM THE DRAWING AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT. like! this stupidly artistic boy!!!!!!!!! this stupidly caring boy!!!!!!!!! he could’ve bought Victor literally anything or not even bothered to think of a gift At All, but he took the time to DRAW VICTOR LIKE ONE OF HIS FRENCH BOYS!!!!! what am I supposed to do with this knowledge!!!!

now I’m imagining Benji observing Victor. the way the light hits his face, how his shoulders move, the shape of his hands....... all the while telling himself it’s just to draw Victor!!!!! but that’s still beautiful and frankly thirsty nonetheless.

p.s I was robbed of a scene like that.

Episode 6 - Creekwood Nights

not much to say about this one except the show blatantly telling us that Derek can be real shitty sometimes. also, I wanna talk about Venji’s dynamics throughout the show so bad but it deserves a post of its own so I’m gonna hold my tongue.

Episode 7 - What Happens In Willacoochee

(stays in Willacoochee or maybe it will haunt your gay ass all the way to New York).

oh boy, this is where shit starts going down for real.

so Victor kisses Benji. I’m not going to defend Victor because what he did was reckless and dumb and frankly disrespectful. but I need to say that it was going to happen sooner or later because when you repress something too hard and for too long, it’s bound to come back with full force and explode in your face. I really wish it was in a different circumstance, of course, but also life isn’t always made of perfect situations and shit happens. (and nope, that does not excuse Victor’s actions).

now think about Benji. he’s been struggling with his feelings for Victor, who as far as he knows is straight and in a relationship, and then suddenly Victor kisses him. my best guess (due to his reaction to Victor’s speech in episode 10) is that he thinks Victor isn’t being serious about it, that in no moment that kiss meant anything but curiosity and recklessness, when they both have people to lose (again, he doesn’t know that Victor struggles with his sexuality, much less that Victor has feelings for him).

so yeah, I believe Benji was upset, not only with Victor though, but with himself.

(I’ll come back to this in a second)

no Benji in episode 8 so.......

Episode 9 - Who The Hell Is B

Benji decides to leave the coffee shop. Victor tells him that the kiss wasn’t his fault and Benji says that being around Victor makes him feel guilty, now why is that?

firstly because he’s not a psychopath and the fact that he cheated on Derek makes him feel guilty. but I do believe that that’s not the only thing that makes him feel guilty. deep down he liked kissing Victor. he likes Victor, he’s been doing his best to keep that buried but Victor had to go and complicate things, so now the only way to avoid making a bigger mess is staying as far away as possible from each other. so he runs back to the safety of his relationship with Derek.

(listen, I know the show makes it seem like Benji is super angry and wants nothing to do with Victor but I don’t believe that’s the case. he’s upset and feeling guilty for liking someone else, denial does make you act very hostile sometimes).

Episode 10 - Spring Fling

Benji’s denial continues but (thankfully) it won’t last much longer.

he goes to the bathroom and tells Victor that he’s read his letter and that he does forgive him for kissing him but that that doesn’t change anything, that it’s best for them to stay away from each other.

that’s until he hears Victor’s speech to Derek (which was more to Benji than Derek so). that’s the moment he realizes that Victor actually likes him, that the kiss as cursed as it was had meant something, that they both feel exactly the same thing. that’s what gives him courage to finally accept that he can’t be with Derek anymore because his heart belongs to someone else. (has belonged to Victor from the moment they met) akdjskdjsj someone please tell me to shut up

which leads us to the bench kiss(es) scene. now, these boys are a whole mess because Victor was still technically dating Mia (he did try to come out to her before, couldn’t do it so he decided to come out after the Spring Fling) (good intention, poor execution).

But I also believe this was just lazy writing and they wanted to have a scene where Mia catches Victor and Benji together. it could’ve been done better, they could’ve been just touching foreheads or something but they wanted the full drama so the kiss(es) happened. I’m taking 50 points away from the writers for this. (also does not excuse Victor or Benji since they literally met halfway. these idiots are so in love wtf!)

(I still love them though, and hope they do better in the future, for themselves and for each other).

anyway, I think that’s it! if you read up until this point: thank you so much!!!! I tried my best to understand and explain Benji since the show said fuck Benji stans. hope this helps!

— love, MJ

#lost all my brain cells writing this #love victor #venji #victor x benji #victor salazar #benji campbell #mj talks

229 notes · View notes

idio-cies · 4 years

Text

Jatp- Perfect Harmony Dissection

Holy Moly this show has taken me by surprise in the best possible way.

I forgot how good Kenny Ortega is... and omg the dynamics in this show are just *chefs kiss* anyway that’s for another post

All of these songs left an impression with me, but Perfect Harmony just got the cogs working in my brain so I wanted to dissect it because I can’t stop thinking about it.

This will be long but I hope people will bear with me.

I found out that Madison and Charlie wrote this one together for the show, so that’s cool. So, even if this is Julie’s fantasy/daydream, it objectively also has “Luke’s” input as well, considering Madison and Charlie were writing with the characters in mind.

The lead up to this song is Julie realising she is falling for Luke, and has Luke on the brain, so she slips up with calling Nick, Luke yadayada significant to say her crush has changed as well blah blah blah.

I first thought it was strange that they are all in black? They weren’t performing for anyone other than for merit. However Black is of course associated with death, mystery etc, but in this context ,with them being “fancy” it deems them as more elegant than anything. I like using this site for colour reference. Please make of it what you will, but I’m sticking with classy and mysterious with this performance.

Then I noticed how Julie and Nick are the centre of attention, plus Nick and Julie seem to improvise? They aren’t doing as the others are. Whether they are meant to or not. I think this is meant to draw parallels, with Nick sliding on the floor and Luke tumbling, then also the lift, how here it’s short and sweet, yet with Julie and Luke there are two and the second is drawn out and more meaningful etc.

I think she must be dancing normally in reality throughout this, but I’ll come back to that later.

So let’s get into this song.

“Step into my world”- I find this interesting because Luke is the one stepping over into hers, but also this is like some “in-between” that they're in; significant of the Limbo that the guys are currently stuck in and also the fact that Julie is the bridge. The world is probably metaphorical for music as Luke helps re-establish it in Julie and is also the guy where music is his whole world, as he lets all of his emotions out and connects with people. It’s a running theme being called up again. However, you cannot deny the possible connotation of Julie potentially stepping over with them. It’s also ironic as Luke “steps” into Julie’s world “I’m sorry we came into your life” - Luke, ep 1, and literally steps over here.

“Bittersweet love story about a girl”- undeniable. Their story is bittersweet. Impossible to be together; yet have a connection that runs so deep.

But now we see the scenery, and it’s all monochrome and the candles just scream romance, but also to me, of serenity.

I mean even the dancefloor reflects to make it look as if they are dancing on water or in an in between world. The reason why I point out monochrome gives the intention of “black and white” there is a lack of complexity, it is clear about how true their bond is, and to them it isn’t complex. Also I can’t help but think of yin and yang which can also be included here as they balance each other out. Julie yin, Luke yang. This is ironic considering Julie is always symbolised with light and Luke the contrast with a dark and being, you know, dead.

I also came across a gifset of the parallels to dirty dancing that Perfect Harmony dance had, and again, the colours are flipped with the pair which is just... interesting in this instance.

“Shook me to the core “Voice like an angel, never heard before”- pretty simple, Luke has always been amazed with Julie’s talent, plus a metaphor commonly attached to Julie, being called an angel. He is also calling her unique. Passage of touch.

But then we get the touch. So I think this whole hand passage thing is reflected in the time they tried to hold hands, then the last time and they could then touch. In this instance though it’s like Julie is the one being resurrected. Again, this could be another metaphor of his hand in helping her find her music again, but you cannot overlook the other implications.

So here is where they dance. I am no dance expert, but dance does have it’s own language that I think everyone can interpret, but I will try my best to explain. I also think “harmony” can be a way to express dance partners as well.

“Here in front of me”- I do think this is in reference being able to touch them, but the drawing up to her hands is so interesting because of the eye contact and draw. It’s more intimate.

Then they go into something similar to what the routine is meant to be in reality, but instead they make it like a pulse on the line “they’re shining so much brighter”

I point out a pulse because it’s “living” and it just juxtaposes with who Julie is talking about; the guys.

A twirl and lift on “than I have ever seen”- This is Julie talking about the guys. Ray calls them angels and then at the end of season they literally freaking glow so... (also pronoun change to collective when Julie starts singing)

“Life can be so mean”- ep 8, after Luke told him their demise would be one of three ways, Julie was going to be hurt all over again. Julie and Flynn had an understanding that the world was being cruel when they were discussing it. Also I just feel their dance here is like they are interpreting a rough ride/rollercoaster. They swing arms then tuck and twist.

“But when he goes, I know he doesn’t leave”- Luke will be in her heart, like she found with her Mum. She did let them go, and she understands she will have to do that, but they will live on in her heart.

Also hand over heart, as she “falls” into him and he doesn’t let her fall. That’s just cute.

“The truth is finally breaking through”- either their feelings or just what will be revealed to us. Though they are parted and Luke does the spinning on the ground so I expect a pitfall somewhere along the way (probs Caleb)

But he rolls right back to her

“Two worlds collide when I’m with you”- Well, the fact that they are the living and the dead.. so. Plus in-between. Don’t know how to interpret the dance here, I just like the swishy steps

“A voice is rising so, so high”- how Julie comes out of her shell. Also can’t help but link to the angel motif. Plus, Julie is lifted up, she is the catalyst, she is rising up in fame really. Luke is one of the people who helps her soar as well.

“We come to life, when we’re in perfect harmony”- Julie always being told she looks “alive again” when she’s doing music again. Music and playing with Julie is what makes Luke and the guys feel alive. I gotta say, Charlie and Madison do exhibit some good harmonising.

The lift that happened is like the improv that Nick and Julie do, but then Luke and Julie here make eye contact as she comes down again, but goes back to similar to the dance she is meant to be doing. Until she reaches up on the line “We say we’re friends”, he also helps lift them up.

“We play pretend”. I mean, they kinda do. Luke tries to pass off his feelings with the guys, but that boy is WHIPPED.

“You’re more to me”- right off the bat, I like it. Arms out and a hug. YES. Also just look at that bliss on her face, bless her.

“We create” well yes they create “the perfect harmony”

The cut off is abrupt as Julie snaps back to reality. Then she looks in the mirror and realises Luke isn’t there and that she must’ve gone insane. This is what gets me. I think this is the moment that she realises that her feelings for Luke are deeper than she realised and I think she truly thought that they may have been dancing together in the end.

Is this just an extremely vivid daydream, because she had one of these when she mentally performed “I got the Music” and she must’ve done something during that time as she took someone’s drumsticks during her little renaissance. So what happened in real life? Did she just dance around a little, humming a bop? I just... I imagine that this is just a very lucid daydream, which is fair enough, relatable, but it just interacts so much with real life rather than actually just being all in her head. I just find it interesting.

The full version has some lines that I also want to point out. In the second verse there are these lines:

”You set me free”- Luke sings this line which can mean that she will set his soul free- she is a part of his “unfinished business”

“You and me together is more than chemistry”- Julie sings this line. We know that chemistry was pointed out by Alex and Reggie to Luke, and I believe Flynn also says about them being an appealing pair when performing. But they are more than chemistry. I mean they do work well together and they care about each other deeply, but I also can’t help but think of the “signs” her mother was giving her, and believing that the guys were sent to her.

“Love me as I am, I’ll hold your music here inside of my hands”- This is sung by both of them. They already do this, but holding their music in each other’s hand is interesting. I guess this is saying about trust and that they will do it together. I also think this relates to being able to finally hold hands. It’s like the saying “Whatever’s mine is yours”. They share pain, they share lyrics, their passion for music etc.

Then in the bridge we have the lines “I feel your rhythm in my heart”- I have a feeling that they are in sync with each other, they can immediately click and tune in with a melody. It’s also ironic as Luke doesn’t have a heart.

“You are my brightest burning star”- Luke sings this line. It makes sense. As I have said previously, Julie is this beacon of light, Luke clearly is in awe of her and inspires him. He also straight up calls her a star in ep 9 as well

“I never knew a love so real”- oh man, the irony. Their connection is pure and true, it’s just so annoying that he’s a ghost

“We’re heaven on earth, melody and words”- again with the metaphor of the middle ground where I suppose Julie sits. I understand the idiom and the bliss that they feel, and the connection they have and share with people. It’s just interesting as at the moment earth is currently Luke and the guys’ afterlife.

Anyway, that has been my dissection of Perfect Harmony. Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far 😅

PS. the lack of visual aids is because Tumblr hates me, I apologise

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #julie molina #luke patterson #jatp julie #jatp luke #jatp meta #jatp analysis

55 notes · View notes

healing-winston-pratt · 4 years

Text

The Resistance AU Part. 2

I said in Part. 1 of this AU I would tell how the Resistance works and how it started, so here we go!

There are nine sectors:

Gathering: They are in charge of going to the surface and collecting both groceries and information (newspapers, video recordings, photos, notes, gossiping, etc). Their color is brown.

Security: Both patrol units who secure the tunnels and the important sectors of the Resistance, and technicians in charge of the security system. Their color is black.

Training: The ones in charge of training the non-prodigies in physical combat and self-defense, as well as prodigies training/who are learning to control their gifts. Their color is purple.

Education: It’s been a decade since the start of the Renegade Regime, so children were born in the Resistance or were already babies or kids, and this sector is in charge of the schooling. Their color is dark green.

Health: The medical sector, there’s no need for further explanation. Their color is soft pink.

Weaponry and Devices: They study the prodigy artifacts the gatherers bring from the surface, and they also develop their own weapons and devices.

Kitchen: They’re in charge of the cooking and it’s basically...that. They provide the entire burrow with food. Their color is white.

Cleaning: The janitorial team. Their color is orange.

Clothing: They elaborate the jumpsuits/uniforms, and they also put together the wardrobe of the gatherers for them to go undercover to the surface in regular clothing. Their color is cream.

They all wear the same blue-gray jumpsuit uniform and a golden name tag with their alias, but each sector has its own color represented in some parts of the uniform.

The ones who are too young or too old to help in a sector, wear yellow in their uniform.

It’s not that people live by sectors: they’re only divided that way to fulfill duties, so a family can live together and each member works for a different sector.

Now, how the characters are sorted :)

Nova and Narcissa are teammates in Gathering.

Ingrid is part of the security system technicians.

Honey is from Training.

Winston works at Education.

Leroy, Millie, Tina and Callum are part of Weaponry and Devices.

Maggie works at Cleaning.

Tala is part of Clothing.

(Bear in mind that they’re not the only ones in those sectors, though, because the Resistance is really huge).

Ace has its own color, golden, because he’s the leader of the Resistance.

There’s a (*looks up for “Council synonym”*) Committee at the Resistance, with Ace being the head and nine people representing their own sector. Honey and Leroy are their sector’s representatives, while Tala, Ingrid and Winston aren’t (bc I picture someone else in a higher position than them being in charge of their sector), but attend the meetings and their voices are heard because they have privileges™.

Nova spends time at Weaponry and Devices to develop her inventions.

Tala made Nightmare’s costume for the infiltration mission :”)

Also, her alias is Star Queen! Because even non-prodigies wear name tags with aliases in case the Resistance is discovered, so it won’t be easy for the enemy to set prodigies and non-prodigies apart (besides the obvious prodigy features, ofc).

Millie’s alias is the Historian and Narcissa is Mirror Walker (I think this one is canon but being brutally honest, I’ve never been 100% sure bc it was Ace’s nickname for her but if she were to use an alias, it would be that one).

Ingrid and Winston are roomies! I don’t think Ingrid has that bitchy personality in this AU, so she and Winston act more like siblings instead of hating each other. THEY’RE BOTH MENTALLY STABLE, OK? (there are therapists in the Health sector, this is a great community, change my mind).

The Librarian is part of the Resistance, but he lives on the surface and provides the gatherers with information when they go to the Library (he has no Resistance uniform).

I’ve already mentioned on Part 1 that Honey and Ace hosted clandestine meetings until they are discovered: that’s how they met the rest of the OG Anarchists + a lot more of prodigies and non-prodigies who supported them, but when the Renegades attacked the building because they’ve discovered them, only the OG Anarchists and Ingrid’s parents where there that night.

When the apartment exploded due to Thunderbird’s powers (you know, lightning), Tala and the girls hid beneath the debris. Tala was carrying Maggie on her back and they were like, chilling because they didn’t want to risk the Renegades finding out about their existence.

Meanwhile, the Council battles Ace and the Anarchists; Ingrid’s parents are killed, as well as some other Anarchists (*cofcofAtomicBrainandRatcofcof)

Georgie lands to inspect the building. Since the space is so limited and it’s in ruins, she lands wrong, and she cuts her calf a little, as in: There’s visible skin in her calf area.

Tala and Nova are holding their breaths, until Maggie makes a sound (this trumpeting thing babies sometimes do with their mouths) and Georgie approaches their direction (she’s hella terrifying here guys, there’s nothing but coldness in her eyes).

Nova sticks her hand out of the hideout and releases her power on Georgie, and once she falls asleep, Tala makes it look like she was hit by debris and that’s why she fell unconscious (when Georgie wakes up, there’s dried blood on the back of her head). Then takes them out of there because neither the Anarchists nor the Council are on sight.

Tala gets a message from Honey until the next day, and that’s how she knows they’re hiding on the tunnels: During battle, Ingrid was very distraught due to her parents’ death (she does love them here :”)), so she was just...attacking people because she wanted to kill someone. ANYONE (as long as they were part of the Renegades). However, Ace was concerned about the fact that too many people were dying.

In this AU, like it is implied in canon, Ace is the only person who can destroy Hugh, and Hugh is the only person who can destroy Ace (I’m not counting David because, well, David’s already gone). Hence, Ace KNEW that they were coming for him and that, if they killed him, there was a chance they would leave them alone.

So, he took advantage of the fact Ingrid was going feral, and stepped in the middle pretending he was shielding someone. When Ingrid’s powers did their thing, a structure fell on top of him, but he stopped the debris using his telekinesis before it crushed him, *this* close to his body. And the Renegades were like “There’s no way he could’ve survived that lmao” (bc of course they would find that funny).

Ace had to wait another 30 minutes until they left, and when they did, he was very weak (ALMOST fainting, I think) but still he heard Honey HOWLING (And the other ones too, because bear in mind Ingrid, almost crazy with grief, was thinking she k i l l e d him) but somehow he managed to have the strength to get the debris off him on time (before he suffocated or fainted).

So they hide in the tunnels, and once Tala and the girls join them and all of them have rested and attended their injuries, Ace builds the underground burrow while the rest of them (Nova stays and takes care of Maggie, ofc) go undercover to the surface, to take their allies (the ones that didn’t attend the meeting that night) with them.

The Resistance population eventually rises (it’s currently around 5,000 people) because they take refugees and families are created, but people on the surface don’t know about them: it’s usually the gatherers who save people who are being persecuted.

But Ace and the Anarchists know the Renegades are aware Honey, Leroy, Ingrid and Winston are still alive, so the four of them go to the tunnels every now and then and pretend to live there: they’re in sync with the security staff of the Resistance to know when a Renegade patrol unit is going to visit them.

The Council is pleased to “know” they live under such n a s t y conditions and that’s why they don’t kill them, besides, the first time they showed up after discovering them, Honey gave the performance of her life and pleaded them to at least let them stay there, and they were so amused by her suffering that they accepted, so they could watch their misery every time they pleased.

Callum and Tina joined the Resistance as refugees (they came from separate ways, tho), while Millie and Gene were already allies who attended meetings, but Gene asked them to take care of Narcissa while he helped them from the surface so she could be safer underground.

And then she goes, with her two whole functional brain cells, and joins Gathering lmao. Also, she lives with the Artinos because Gene used to take her to the clandestine meetings so she and Nova usually played together :)

34 notes · View notes

cas-lost-grace · 4 years

Note

N! Dean and Cas, please!!!

Do 1800 words count as a minific?

N. The color green.

“Nah,”Castiel shakes his head as his sister turns around, the dress she’s trying ontwirling around her.

“But the color goes so well with my hair!” shesays and pouts

“I hate green,” Castiel murmurs.

“Why?” she asks walking back to the fittingroom.

“Hospital gowns are green.”

“So is grass!” she calls through the curtain.“And grass is good.”

The walls in his first foster home were green too. Annadoesn’t know that. He met her in his last home, the third one, the lesshorrible.

“Yeah, grass is good,” he grumbles.

“My date’s eyes are green!” she says excitedlyas she appears in a new dress. This one is yellow.

“You know I still don’t like the idea of you goingout with a stranger.”

She rolls her eyes. “He’s not a stranger. We’ve beentexting for a while.”

“Do you realize how easy it is to pretend you aresomebody else?”

She sighs heavily. “Fine, you won!”

“You’re going to cancel the date?” He feelssimultaneously relieved and guilty. It’s not like he doesn’t want her to find anice guy, he’s just worried she might get hurt while searching.

“No, but you can come with me.”

“What?”

“You can go to the restaurant with me and sit atanother table and check him out yourself.”

It’s crazy. But it’s also perfect.

“That… that would work.”

She beams at him. “Okay! Now the dress! What do youthink?”

“I think it’s great,” he smiles back.

“You think he’ll like it?”

“If he’s not an idiot, he’ll be stunned by yourbeauty.”

Anna claps her hands and runs back behind the curtain tochange back into her own clothes.

“You should try it too, you know?”

“What? The dress? I don’t think it would complimentmy figure.”

She snorts. “I mean the dating app, dumbass.”

“No.”

“Why? You could find somebody like Dean foryourself. Someone who knows how to live. Someone who would make you lessgrumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy.”

She pushes the curtain to the side to give him askeptical look. “Sure, you’re a beam of sunshine.”

“Exactly. Let’s go or we’ll be late for your date.”

_____

Castiel is almost as nervous as if it was his own date.He’s sitting in a corner where he has a nice view of Anna’s table, but he’s farenough to not be suspicious.

Anna spent the rest of the day telling him about Dean,about how he travels and how he pursued his dream and started his own businessrestoring vintage cars, how he takes cooking lessons so he can cook alldifferent kinds of cuisine and how he designs his own tattoos. Cas is actuallycurious to see the man. He sounds kinda perfect so he must be a sham.

Anna fixes her hair for the thousandth time. Cas checkshis clock. Dean still has a few minutes.

A waitress comes to his table and Cas orders a drink.When she leaves and stops blocking his view, there’s a man standing by Anna’stable and shaking her hand.

He’s painfully handsome, dressed with rugged elegance,tall and muscular. He says something and Anna laughs. She looks charmed andCastiel understands.

He spends the date watching Dean. He orders the firstthing on the menu and doesn’t even register what it tastes like. He drinks somewine but it tastes bland.

He’s fascinated by Dean, by the way his plump lips movearound words, by his eyes sparkling with interest, by the tattoo peeking out ofhis rolled-up sleeve.

He supposes the date goes well, Anna laughs a lot andsmiles and twirls her hair around her fingers like some girls do when they’reflirting.

Startledby the fact that Dean’s asking the waitress for a bill, Cas checks his watchand realizes it’s been almost two hours and he feels like he could spend daysjust like that.

Anna excuses herself and heads towards the bathroom, Casasks for his own bill and starts rummaging through his bag for his wallet.

“Did you enjoy the view?” a deep voice makeshim look up and Castiel’s heart stops when he sees Dean leaning on his hands onCas’ table so their faces are almost on the same level.

“I- I-” Cas stutters, absolutely at loss ofwhat he should say to save the situation.

“You know at first I thought you were watching mygirl and I was ready to punch you in the face, but then I realized you wereactually staring at me the whole time. Now I’m not sure if I shouldstill punch you in the face for being a creep or if I should give you mynumber.”

Castiel’s mouth falls agape and he blinks in disbelieve.He must look like an idiot.

“Cas?” Anna says over Dean’s shoulder. Castielcloses his eyes and heaves a deep breath hoping he might wake up from thisnightmare or get struck by lightning or anything thatwould end this awkwardness.

“Cas?” Dean repeats after her. “So this isthe brother you talked about? The one that should start to live a little?”he asks with amusement. Castiel opens his eyes to see the soft smile on Dean’sface as he looks at Anna who blushes a little and pushes her hair behind herear.

“Yeah, sorry. He didn’t like the idea of me goingout with a stranger so-” she gestures towards Cas instead of finishing thesentence.

“Oh, I see,” Dean says. Surprisingly, he doesn’tsound offended at all. He turns at Cas again and spreads his arms. “So?What do you think? Am I a serial killer?”

Castiel frowns and crosses his arms on his chest.

“That’s hard to tell. But you seemed to be who youclaimed to be online.”

Dean snorts. He turns his head just slightly in Anna’sdirection, his eyes still on Cas.

“You were right, he needs to loosen up.”

“Yeah,” Anna sighs.

Cas’ frown deepens.

“Okay,” Dean claps, “let’s go then.”He offers his hand to Cas. Castiel stares at it.

“Where?” Anna asks.

“I don’t know. Outside. To live. To enjoy thebeautiful evening. Come on, Cas, I know you secretly want to.” He givesCas the cheesiest wink ever. Cas laughs despite himself.

“I need to pay first,” he protests weakly.

Dean rolls his eyes, produces a twenty from his backpocket and throws it on the table.

“Dealt with, let’s go.” He extends his handtowards Cas again.

Cas’ heart is beating fast when he accepts it. Dean grinsat him and grabs Anna’s hand too. She giggles as Dean leads them out of therestaurant.

It really is a beautiful evening. The air is warm and fresh, the sky is only nowturning dark blue.

They start by obtaining a bottle of wine and drinking itwhile walking even though Cas protest. But it’s hard to say no to someone likeDean, even harder when he pairs up with Cas’ little sister.

They don’t do anything special, just small things. Theyshare a cone of ice cream, rent a scooter and ride it all three of them at thesame time, feed birds and climb trees in the park, sing off-key as Dean plays ona public piano, dance to street performers’ music.

Cas feels lighter than he did in years, maybe ever. Dean’sand Anna’s energy is intoxicating, their laughter contagious, Dean’s hand onthe small of his back makes Cas’ feel dizzy.

Whenthey arrive at the river, they turn quiet, calm in a content way. Dean helpsCas climb on the railing and holds his hand as he walks it like a tightropewhile Anna skips and twirls in her yellow dress on his other side, singingunder her breath, her shoes dangling from her hand.

Cas looks at the river, at the twinkling lights reflectedin the water and sighs. The world really is a beautiful place when you letyourself enjoy it.

His foot slips. He yelps and flails for balance, but he’sfalling.

Dean catches him, his strong arms wrapping around Cas’body.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs into Cas’ hair asCas catches his breath.

“Thank you,” he breathes out and looks up intoDean’s face. His heart gives a hard thud and something flutters in his stomachwhen Dean smiles warmly down at him.

Then Dean lets go of him and averts his eyes. He seems toblush a little when he runs his hand through his hair and speaks.

“I-uhm-I’d like to talk with Anna. Alone. If you don’tmind.”

“Yeah, yes, of course,” Cas stutters, suddenlyfeeling cold even though the weather didn’t change.

He turns and leans against the railing while Dean goesafter Anna. Cas doesn’t look their way, he doesn’t want to see. There’ssomething ugly curling in his belly and he hates himself for feeling like that.

He loves Anna and he’s happy for her. She really deservesa great guy like Dean. But she was also right about Cas needing someone likethat for himself too. Someone who would make him smile, who would teach him tolove the world, even the color green.

As he’s deep in thoughts, he doesn’t notice Anna walkingto him and gets a little startled when she kisses his cheek. “Good night,Cas, don’t screw it up.”

Before he can wrap his head around what she said, sheruns towards the taxi that is standing by the curb.

“What the-?” he mutters as he watches her getin shooting him and Dean a smile and a little wave.

Dean places a hand on Cas’ shoulder to get his attention.

“Cas, look,” he starts softly when Cas, stillutterly confused, turns to him, “I really like your sister, she’s amazingand really beautiful-”

“Then why did you let her go?” Cas asks alittle too sharply.

Dean frowns a little before he continues.

“She’s amazing, but she… she doesn’t make my heartgo all wild. You know what I mean?”

“Oh-” is all Cas can say. He should feeldisappointed, sorry for his sister, but all he can focus on is the intense gazeof Dean’s eyes and his soft voice.

“Fortunately, I just met someone who’s beautiful andawesome too and they make my heart go totally crazy.” With that, he grabsCas’ hand and presses it against his own chest.

“Oh,” Cas breathes out eloquently as he feelsDean’s quick heartbeat. He knows his heart is beating just as fast as he’sstaring at Dean and his words finally start to make sense.

“Dean-”

“I’m going to kiss you,” Dean says and leanscloser.

Cas jerks his head back at the last moment. “Wait!Did you kiss my sister?”

Dean bristles up. “Of course not! What do you thinkI-” Cas cuts him off by pressing their lips together.

It’s a bit awkward at first, but they soon ease into itand fall in sync.

The kiss is like the whole of their adventurous eveningconcentrated into a few moments. Charming, fun, dizzying, warm and utterlyamazing.

They are breathless when they part. Cas looks Dean in theeyes. They are green. It might be his new favorite color.

Send me a letter and a character and I will write you a minific

#destiel #destiel ficlet #destiel au #first kiss #first meeting #so fluffy #mine #filled prompts #studio-hatter

301 notes · View notes

genesisrose74 · 4 years

Text

Karasuno Boys Singing Headcanons!

A/n: By this point I hope that everyone has seen the masterpiece that is Sugawara’s wonderful voice actor singing Under the Sea, which has won the spot in my heart for cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I then proceeded to go off the deep end of Haikyuu voice actors singing and safe to say I was in no way disappointed, so here’s some Karasuno boys singing headcanons! If you have any requests my ask box is open 💖 enjoy!

Daichi

Is it just me or would Daichi not care if someone heard him singing

He seems like the type of person who hums all the time

Partly because it helps relax him after yelling at the team all day LMAO He doesn’t necessarily sing with lyrics every chance he gets, but when he does he’s pretty casual about it

He’ll sing in the car a lot, and it was actually the first place you heard him

Boy has a soothing playlist for school days and you always like hearing his voice when he drives you in the mornings

Will hum when you’re both doing schoolwork in his or your house

Doesn’t realize he has a good voice, so he never tries to show off all that often in front of people and thus the team has not heard him full out sing yet

So when they does hear him like, actually singing for the first time at the end of practice they’re SHOOK

Tanaka and Nishinoya instantly start spamming you with texts, asking why you hid away such a precious secret for so long

You’re sitting in the library staring at your constantly vibrating phone like ??? doesn’t he sing all the time?

When you end up texting the boys this question they go absolutely feral

At this point Daichi is losing his voice yelling at the team to calm tf down

Suga is cackling in the corner of the team gym cause he been knew

It’s absolutely chaotic literally someone come save Daichi please-

Sugawara

HAHA GET READY BOYS

Official team mom of Karasuno sings all the damn time don’t even get me started

Always humming some upbeat tune doing schoolwork, cleaning up after practice, in the car, etc.

Seriously when is this sweet baby not singing

The team is well aware of this, especially the sideline cheer squad (Yamaguchi, moi ippon nice serve!)

Tell me he does not make up rhyming cheers under his breath during matches I dare you

Will literally make up a stupid song on the spot to describe whatever he is currently doing or feeling

Hinata bathroom vibes tbh but it’s even more out of the blue

“Got an A on my exam today, and things are going my way”

“Suga, for the love of everything please stop”

“Daichi thinks I’ll listen to what he’ll say, but I’m singing more anyway”

He is always on board with karaoke whenever Karasuno has team bonding nights

One time you are invited to this by Suga himself and he gets up and starts singing a Disney song haha guess which one

And as often as the team has heard him sing mans is feeling it tonight for whatever reason and y’all can tell

You have never heard anyone sing Under the Sea so passionately before but it’s a gift and you’re not complaining

Asahi

Boy is so insecure oh my gosh please give him some support

Very shy about singing in front of anyone and everyone

The only time you’ve ever heard him sing was when you were over at his house and he was taking a shower

You had gone downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen and when you come back up he’s singing alongside one of his playlists

You don’t know if it’s because of the steam and the solid acoustics in the bathroom but he doesn’t sound half bad

You try not to startle him as soon as he gets out because you know how flustered he’d get

But then a while later while y’all are studying on his bed you just casually bring it up like ‘You have a nice voice, Asahi’ and that’s all

He’s a little shocked at first that you heard him but kind of smiles and sighs in relief because you liked his singing!! 🥺

Precious teddy bear is totally happy for the rest of the week, like that’s how much your praise means to him sdlkgjfdjsof he’s too cute

Eventually warms up to humming little tunes around you

He’s really blushy when he does but you pretend not to notice for his sake lmao

It makes you so warm inside that he feels comfortable enough to let you hear him

Ennoshita

In this house we do not sleep on Ennoshita

As much as he is the mom of the second years he will flaunt his stuff whenever he gets the chance and this is one of those times

If a generic pop song is on at literally any point in time and he hears it, damn right he’s going to sing

When it comes to singing Ennoshita is hands down the most chaotic no question about it

Sometimes he’ll actually sing a verse pretty decently

And then the next line is just the embodiment of a dumpster fire and he does not care

These are the only times that Tanaka and Noya get irritated with him and not the other way around

But Ennoshita doesn’t give a shit, he’s so cheeky

Like he’ll be walking through the mall and a banger of a song like Fergalicious comes on over the speakers? You’re done for

Even if he doesn’t know the lyrics at certain points, or deadass does not know any of them at all, he’ll just power through

If there is a sports banquet complete with dancing and music and the team attends, Ennoshita is tearing up the floor and singing his heart out

Honestly you’re a little scared to interfere cause what is he even doing-

He has made quite a few friends from opposing teams with his frankly lunatic level energy

I’m looking at you Oikawa, Tendou

Tanaka

ANIME. INTROS.

He sounds EXACTLY like that opening singer from Bungou Stray Dogs I wonder why

No but actually we all heard his little song in season one, when he’s late and walking to the gym like what a king-

In summary he is a pretty good singer

Most definitely a frequent participant during team karaoke nights and everyone enjoys his little performances

When he realizes that girls actually like guys who can sing he starts using this to his advantage

And surprisingly it ended up working

You’re out at karaoke with some friends one night and you hop outside to get some more food for your group when you hear somebody slaying Rough Diamonds; your mind instantly goes to Food Wars

It catches your interest and then you realize...this dude goes to your school? You are positively whipped

He sees you from the doorway and when he realizes you’re enjoying the song he amps it up another three notches

Achievement get: girlfriend

Karaoke dates and other such outings happen often, thank you very much

As much as he enjoys singing he does not overdo it like Ennoshita, who has been limited to three songs per night every time the group goes out, please for the sake of everyone’s eardrums

Nishinoya

As Tanaka’s best friend and as the co-president of simps everywhere, Nishinoya is another common singer during karaoke nights

Having fun and maybe picking up a cute girl at the end of it all? That’s literally his life agenda

He either goes for the badass, headbanging songs that are super energetic, or he jams out to the generic and famous pop groups’ songs

There is no in between

Noya has a slightly deeper singing voice but sometimes he’ll go for the stupid high notes for fun and just...completely fails

The fact that he has never successfully hit one of those notes doesn’t deter him in the slightest though; his goal is to get there at least once before he dies

He can sing so many popular TikTok audios and you can’t decide whether to be impressed or slightly disappointed with that fact

Noya doesn’t really sing at practice just because he’s focused, but when he’s walking home or getting food from Sakanoshita afterwards he might start randomly singing something

The type of person who has like a billion different playlists on his phone for the most obscure moods (honestly same Noya)

Like there’s one named “Bad Test Grade But I Won a Free Popsicle Kind of Feeling” don’t even ask

Will put on a concert in his room and perform a whole lineup of these songs for you

Sometimes you think it’s just so he can avoid doing schoolwork but you let him get away with it occasionally

cause you’d never tell him but it’s so entertaining and kinda hot what

Tsukishima

OH GOD THIS BOY

I swear you have tried time and time again to figure out whatever the hell kind of music he listens to with those chonky headphones of his but you have never successfully completed that mission

There are only two - count em, TWO - instances where you have ever witnessed this embodiment of a salt shaker doing anything resembling singing

Number one was a literal meme TikTok where you were using Beyond the Mysterious Beyond from Land Before Time as your audio

You didn’t expect Tsukki to recognize it at all

But he’s in the top corner of your phone screen and he is deadass LIP SYNCING EVERY WORD and you’re SENT INTO ORBIT

DOES HE STUTTER? NOPE

Should have expected that Mr. Dinosaur Obsessed would have watched Land Before Time and loved the all the bops

That video is forever saved in your drafts because he’d literally end you if that went public but you refuse to completely get rid of it

Second time, our french fry child actually sings because Yamaguchi forces him to do a song with him lmao

It only lasts for about three verses but it’s all anyone has heard from him before and is therefore a blessing from above

If anyone has heard these two singing Sarishinohara on YouTube you know what I’m talking about if not look it up it’s an absolute gift

Literal perfection in a duet like?? Everyone is depressed when they realize that Tsukki’s voice had been hidden from the world until that very moment

We will cherish this short taste of Singing! Tsukki for all time amen 😔🙏

Yamaguchi

Like Asahi, this precious bean is also shy about his singing

But he will sometimes get a burst of confidence if he’s having a really good day or if someone is singing with him

When those moments arrive they are wonderful

He sounds like an angel, not even exaggerating he’s just so pure

Has a very light tone no matter how the song originally sounds and it’s really soothing to be honest

When his little bouts of confidence wear off please for the love of God praise him in any way shape or form, it makes him feel good about himself

On team bus rides to games, he and Yachi will sometimes sing fun tunes together to calm each others’ nerves and it’s incredibly precious

Tsukki will send you videos of this pregame ritual and you have a folder reserved for them in your camera roll

Everyone say thank you Tsukki

He will sing for you if you’re feeling super down about something because he knows you love it

Never fails to calm you down and cheer you up, and Yams knows in those moments that he would gladly sing for the rest of his life if it made you smile

We stan one soft, talented bean sprout

Kageyama

Another stubborn boy when it comes to singing in front of other people

He will hum on rare occasion but don’t expect much more

You start to realize that whenever he does start humming, though, it’s always the same song, so one day you ask him about it

It’s a song his grandfather used to sing to him when he was little and he uses it to calm himself down

You almost start crying on the spot because you know how much his grandpa meant to him

Kags says there were lyrics to it but he doesn’t remember them besides a few random words scattered here and there

It becomes your personal mission to find the rest of the lyrics because you’ll be damned if your precious baby goes another day without hearing them again

Finally after countless obscure Google searches you find the song

But you don’t know how to casually bring up the fact that you had spent hours obsessively looking for them into a conversation-

So one day you’re hanging out with Kageyama, but he’s been in an awful mood all week, and you decide to start singing the song that his grandpa used to but including the lyrics

And when he recognizes the words and puts the chorus together, he instantly relaxes and starts singing it with you

He is so touched and thankful that he can finally recall the song in its entirety, and now you both sing said song to each other whenever the other is feeling down

I love him so much my heart-

Hinata

When you find out he can sing you’re absolutely floored

Literally the only time in his life that Hinata can successfully speak English words and it’s in a song? And it’s coherent?? It’s a miracle

The whole team gets on his ass about sucking at English in class but being able to obliterate those lyrics when they come up in a song and the poor tangerine gets all huffy

hE’s tRyiNg HiS bESt oKaY

His range is SO GOOD THOUGH WHAT-

You’re in the middle of a store with him and he’s been occasionally singing along to the music from the speakers and at this point you’re not even surprised at how good he sounds

But then he just starts singing in falsetto

BOI- When I say your jaw is on the floor I am not playing games

The power he holds is beyond comprehension

He’s looking at you confused like did he do something wrong?

When you proceed to flip out over how great he just sounded baby gets so embarrassed how cute

Again, one of those people who just doesn’t know their gift and it makes him even more precious

I would kill to have his capabilities like imagine the talent; if that whole volleyball thing doesn’t work out there’s also the music industry sir-

In conclusion: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS SUNSHINE A MIC THANK YOU

61 notes · View notes

taejeonie · 4 years

Text

moments that markhee stans live for

everytime they sing or rap as a duo (e.g. go)

their stage presence>>>>>

like they blend well together but they still have their own spotlight, u know what i mean?

and then back in mmc they were like the mom and dad of the group

“oh we’re just same-age friends”

the mcs always tease them too

so when fans found out taehee was gonna debut with the boys they were ECSTATIC

every time someone would avoid or not notice mark’s high fives, taehee’s got his back ;))

but when mark asks her for a high five she just stares at it

but then she’s like “just kidding!!! hihihi” and high fives him back

when they went to award shows, taehee would make mark laugh by dancing to the others’ performances

like she’s not mocking it she’s just eXTRA EXTRA

when they danced whip nae nae they were so cute :<<

in their weekly idol episode with nct 2018, they stood next to each other and helped each other out in the language thingy game

THEIR ENDING POSE IN “TRIGGER THE FEVER” ( ^ω^ )

but then that part in “superhuman”

that’s a whole different mood ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

like they both got flustered at first but they just got used to it

like there was this one concert where there faces were SO close

the venue was screaming

speaking of flustered

everytime taehee tells a pickup line it would always be directed @ mark unless stated otherwise

but mark just got used to that too

taehee joins in on teasing him with the dreamies

“TAEHEE AND I ARE THE SAME AGE!!! WHY WON’T YOU GUYS TEASE HER TOO”

“just five more days, she could’ve been a 00’ liner”

“and i’m cool, you loser :ppp”

but sometimes when the babies get too out of control she helps mark calm them down

“guys, please focus :)))”

in the new weekly idol episode, taehee’s question was “if you would have one roommate forever, who would it be?”

and so she hugged mark

“is it who you want to date?”

“someone you like?”

“taehee-ssi, why did you choose mark?”

and taehee has her head on top of mark’s so it’s c u t e

“other than we’re the same age, mark takes care of me but there are other times where i take care of him,,,,so it’s kinda nice”

“ooooo it is who would you date”

“i would get in trouble if that was the question”

mark couldn’t keep his eyes off taehee when she did her facial window

iTS NOT LIKE HE LIKES HER THAT WAY ITS BC SHES REFRESHING TO WATCH AND NOT CRINGEY U SUCKERS

mm what else

there was this one interview in america that got markhee speaking in their own language

“like,,,like yeah you know what i mean”

“yeah it’s like,,,like jsjd you know?”

“yEAH LIKE THAT!!”

“they talk like this in the dorms it’s confusing sometimes”

mark and taehee are each others’ seratonin boosts during performances

but also when they’re not performing ofc

taehee mentioned she and mark would practice a lot predebut

and that when mark is alone, she would watch him practice and join him later on

“mark really works hard,,,it makes you want to be like him in a way. that’s why when we were trainees, whenever he was alone while practicing i would accompany him and watch him,,and then join him later on”

whenever mark calls taehee “joanie” it’s so soft

cute counter 39482993

they posted a cover once and it was just mark and taehee goofing around while making the video

taehee sang while mark played the guitar, but he joined in once in a while

dreamies would always want to hear their thoughts during recording

“i want to hear what mark-hyung thinks about this”

“noona, i’m not sure how to do this. how should i do it?”

there was this one interview where taehee thought mark looked the cutest at that moment

so she stuck around him the whole time

there was this one vlive where they jammed to just disney songs

“LET IT GOOO!! LET IT GOOO”

“mark you wanna make a ‘let it go’ remix and you rap?”

“HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA”

there are times where mark would ruffle taehee’s hair

and during those times she would be like -_-

but the fact that her dimples show make mark laugh because he thinks she’s cute

taehee was mark’s number 1 supporter when he was in “high school rapper”

they laugh at each other’s jokes

but you know that thing where you laugh too hard you have to lean on somebody so you won’t fall?

yeah that’s markhee too

you would hear stories from the dreamies how markhee went to bring them food on set

“mark-hyung brought us churros and taehee-noona had drinks”

when they were in the dreamies’ live after their ridin’ performance eVERYONE WENT WILD

the parents + their babies uwu

they have matching shoes

mark used to be the member with a different contact name on taehee’s phone while the rest were just plain

“what are the members’ contact names on your phone”

“lee donghyuck, lee taeyong, kim doyoung-“

“WAHAHAHAHHAHA”

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

taehee continues to answer the question like they’re not complaining atm

“jung jaehyun, markly with a heart, johnny seo-“

“wHY IS MARK-HYUNG’S CONTACT NAME DIFFERENT?? YOU SHOULD HAVE A HEART NEXT TO MINE”

hyuck: <//3

“nO WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN!!! so at first all your names were,,just your names but mark saw his on my phone and he asked me to change it-“

mark smiles nervously bc of the host’s reaction, “hey it’s not like that”

“nonono, it is like that!! so i changed it and showed him and he was like “ah better :>>””

the way she imitated mark made everyone in the studio laugh

“mark doesn’t like affection but he has his moments where he’s the one giving it.”

mark being flustered pt. 29842894

they also are in-sync almost all of the time it’s creepy

they also say the same things at the same time

when they were at the ama’s she was wearing heels

so when she stood next to mark, taehee was like

“hehe i’m taller than you”（╹◡╹）

so mark stands on his toes for the whole interview

when he would lose his footing bc of that they would both laugh

sneaky glances during interviews

hearing things wrong

being dirty minded

there was this one time taehee almost slipped on the stairs while going down from the stage but mark caught her

when mark mentioned that taehee was one of the people he wanted to grow old with

everyone cRIED

“one person i want to grow old with? umm, taehee? taehee because she’s always been there for me. she teases me a lot but then she takes care of me like an older sister would. she’s very understanding and thoughtful of others. and even if we fight, we still have a strong relationship bc we get each other,,in a way. so,,yeah :)))”

besides johnny, mark loves to imitate her australian accent

“i wanna go home”

mark, with an accent: “Oh, yOU wAnT tO gO hOmE?”

they’re also cute roommates lol

they’re either jamming hard to their favorite songs

or having deep talks from their respective beds

lastly, their graduation from dream

they prepared a video for the dreamies

it was filled with their off-screen moments

mostly inside the car while they were going somewhere

and then jisung’s bday predebut

and there were pictures of them too

and then the prank taehee pulled on renjun and jisung,,where she pretended she was mad at them

“i think i cried,” jisung said in the video

and then the vcr ends with markhee saying they would continue to support dream and cheer for them

and then now is their ending ment

mark was kinda serious and is on the verge of crying

taehee was too but she was trying to lighten up the situation

“don’t criiiiiiii”

but then she ended up crying too

when taehee was saying her ending ment,,mark put an arm around her shoulders

and then they group hugged

bUT MARKHEE WOULD BE BACK IN DREAM SO ITS A WINWIN FOR EVERYONE

:DDD

but even when they left they still are mentioned in dream’s videos/lives

*on a phone call* “mark-hyung, is taehee-noona there?”

“noona? ah taehee-“

“you forgot her name? HAHAHA”

“-is here”

“RENJUN, MARK ATE MY SAUSAGE I’M SAD”

“I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS YOURS”

“I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WOULD LEAVE IT IN THE FRIDGE!!! I SHOUTED!!”

“I DIDNT HEAR YOU!! SERIOUSLY”

“THEN HOW COME JUNGWOO-OPPA HEARD ME HM??”

“they fight like an old couple”

72 notes · View notes

inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

Text

For You

Chapter 2: The Ribbon

“If you laugh one more time,” Lucas threatened through gritted teeth, “I’m dropping out of this subunit!”

Considering the initial stress of Kai’s departure from the subunit, I guess Lucas expected me to tremble at his threat. Instead, I laughed harder, and he glowered at me.

“I’m sorry.” My apology was insincere, but I had to say something when he looked at me like that. “It’s just— Lucas, this dance is so sensual, and my feelings for you are not—”

“That’s funny,” Lucas said without even the smallest smile. “I seem to remember you snapping on Kai at the photoshoot for having a very similar attitude.”

Again I said, “I’m sorry,” this time a little more earnestly before continuing, “It’s just a little embarrassing— dancing with you like this when you’re practically my brother.”

Lucas clicked his tongue and started to argue before realizing he couldn’t. “Yeah.” He laughed at our reflections, which gripped each other tightly. “Yeah, you’re kinda right.” He released his hold around my waist to flick the light switch off.

When Lucas pressed play on our subunit(LX2)’s first finalized song, returned to my side, and once again danced his fingertips across my lower back, I didn’t giggle at the contact. With the only light seeping into the room from under the studio door since the sunlight had not yet broken through the clouds— much less through the windows lining the wall— it was easy to forget that the touch belonged to Lucas. I could pretend that the touch belonged to someone else— someone whose presence didn’t make my heart swell from some fraternal familiarity but, instead, race in anticipation of some unknown affection.

Who did I imagine was dancing with me in the dark? Nobody specific. Nobody I knew. Nobody I met yet or would likely ever meet.

I was not often unsatisfied with my career. I loved performing, and I highly regarded the honor of representing my country as an idol and expressing myself as an artist. But in that moment when somebody who wasn’t Lucas touched me— when I realized at the sudden sound of his voice that this was a delusion, that romance would be a fantasy for as long as I was an idol (which I still hoped would be always)-- my heart plummeted from its height.

Maybe I was lonely.

Maybe we were all lonely.

Maybe it was just a matter of realizing it and admitting it.

Maybe we didn’t know how to admit it; maybe we never would.

“What would you say if I asked you to go camping with me and the guys this weekend?” Lucas asked. The question was almost an act of mercy, an instinct to protect me from thoughts and feelings that had no comfort— that would drown me if explored.

We moved in sync. We were always on the same page even if we weren’t allowed to be. For me, that closeness to Lucas was not an act of rebellion against our industry; I just didn’t know any other way to be.

I said, “I wouldn’t,” and Lucas huffed, frustrated either by my response or because he had fallen out of step. Squinting to watch him leap over to the stereo to restart the song, I added, “Even if Mom would let me go out into the middle of the woods with a bunch of boys— and she wouldn’t!— camping is not how I want to spend my last weekend of ‘freedom’ before the North American leg of our world tour.”

“Well,” Lucas sauntered over me, and we took the dance from the top. “How else do you plan to bond with the guys?”

I hadn’t drafted any ideas to appeal to the members who didn’t already like me. Burning at the reminder that I wasn’t well-received by everybody, I grumbled, “I’m not sneaking out of my mother’s house in a futile effort to get Kai to like me.”

“It’s not just about Kai.” Lucas smirked, “There’s also the opportunity to be alone with Taemin—”

“I don’t want to be alone with Taemin.”

Lucas laughed that shallow laugh he reserved for when he thought I was lying, but I was not lying. I meant it when I said that nothing seemed more distressing than the thought of being alone with Taemin.

“Besides,” I reminded him, “Donghae’s birthday party is this weekend, and we’re all required to go.”

“That’s on Sunday. Taeyong was thinking that we should go on Saturday—”

Before I could repeat that there was no way Mom would let me go camping, unsupervised, with SuperM— before I could explain that even if I wanted to (and I didn’t!), there was no way to sneak out without Mom noticing and grounding us all right before the tour— the lights flashed on. The room was illuminated a blinding white.

When my eyes adjusted, I saw that Lucas’s palm was flat against my cheek— I felt it, warm, coarse— and we flinched away from each other. We squirmed at the commercialization of something so intimate, at the realization that our first tender touches had been scripted, before Donghae’s shrieks split through ears

“Lei!” Donghae’s widened eyes fixed solely on me, and he scrambled to catch the milkshake that was falling from his grasp. “What— what are you doing?”

Had I been doing something scandalous, I might have been horrified by Donghae’s interruption of our dance practice. As it was, I treaded the brink of laughter long before Lucas collapsed on the ground in a fit of giggles.

It was silly that despite knowing my schedule well enough to plan when to bring me a milkshake, Donghae hadn’t known, “Yes, Donghae, my mother knows that I am practicing with Lucas for the debut of our subunit. This was her idea.”

“So she approves—” Donghae set the cup down at his feet to gesture vaguely at me and Lucas with his hands— “of all this. . . touching?”

When I nodded, and Lucas responded with more laughter, Donghae shook his head. “I can’t believe this! I’m going to talk to her!”

I don’t know what he hoped that would accomplish. The executives approved of LX2, and with so little time before the launch of the tour, they wouldn’t recast or disband the unit just because Donghae pitched a temper tantrum to Mom. Besides, I frowned, he wouldn’t have been able to get two words into his monologue with her avoiding him.

“And you two,” he scolded, “keep this door open and this light turned on. We don’t need any more scandals!”

As he sat upright, Lucas’s shoulders stiffened and I held my breath in anticipation of Donghae’s conclusion, “You don’t want to end up like the idol who never debuted!”

It always came back to her.

I was drowning in a nightmare that Lucas and I were on stage together in Atlanta. I was laughing because his fingertips tickled as they brushed against my exposed lower back. Lucas was laughing because he couldn’t imagine being attracted to me like the dance implied. The audience was laughing because our song was ridiculous. Baekhyun and Mark were laughing because that was all they ever did. Kai didn’t offer the smallest smile because he still hated me, and he knew that he could have performed in the subunit without making it a joke. I don’t know where Ten and Taeyong were, but they weren’t standing with Taemin who stared at me in utter disbelief, asking in a silent scream, “How did you ever become an idol?”

I woke with such a start, heart racing and breaths shallow, that I thought the pillowcase over my head was a figment of yet another nightmare until Mark’s voice, uncharacteristically nervous, said, “Guys, I think she’s awake.”

We were in a car, I realized, when we banged into a dip in the road.

“Shit, Baekhyun,” Lucas griped. “Learn how to drive!”

“I can drive just fine! The road just gets a little rockier the closer we get to the lake—”

“Lake?” My word was trapped inside the pillowcase. It bounced around, suffocated me, until Mark spoke up again.

“Lei is awake!” He yelled before pulling the pillowcase off of my head. He smiled so softly that I might have been grateful were it not for the rage that washed over me as my eyes blinked and adjusted to the reality that I was in the back of Baekhyun’s stupid Audi. With Mark. On the way, apparently, to a lake.

Lucas whirled around in the passenger seat. “Finally! How did ya sleep?”

My eyes narrowed as my tongue readied to lash Lucas for participating in some kidnapping plot, but my voice caught in my throat when Baekhyun turned from the darkened road to wink at me. “Pretty good, huh, Lei? I heard ya moaning something about Taemin.”

The color drained from my face and returned as a scarlet blush that I hoped the boys wouldn’t notice under the car’s roof that extinguished the starlight. Baekhyun laughed, and I sank back into the seat next to Mark. I turned my gaze out the window— trying to find the stars or moon through the Autumn trees— and I tried to cross my arms, but they were bound tightly behind my back with some silky fabric. I was too angry or embarrassed to speak even to ask someone to remove the restraints until Mark promised, “You didn’t actually say anything about Taemin.”

I glanced over at Mark, and his eyes were wide. Sincere. Holding his eternal desire to please. How much did that desire relate to his confessed crush on me? How much was it a mere character trait, a summation of Mark Lee?

“Yeah.” Lucas slapped a hand on the back of his headrest to get my attention. “You were totally passed out.”

Relieved slightly, I breathed, “I bet that made it a lot easier for you all to kidnap me.”

“You’d think so, right?” Baekhyun shook his head harder than he should have; there was no way he could focus on driving with his head thrashing like that. “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t scream— and Lucas told me you’re a biter—”

“Dude,” Mark laughed, “that sounds so dirty!” My swipe at his arm made him laugh harder. He probably didn’t feel the sting of the strike through his thick hoodie.

Undeterred by Mark’s outburst (and Lucas’s gagging at Mark’s outburst), Baekhyun continued, “But all your dead weight made you a lot heavier to lug out of that window. And why did you have to sleep on the second floor and make everything more difficult?”

I rolled my eyes. “Sorry. Next time, tell me when you’re gonna break into my house to drag me off on some midnight adventure— without my consent, I might add!— and I’ll be sure to fall asleep on the living room floor couch for your convenience.”

Lucas and Mark snorted at my reply, and Baekhyun said without taking the time to blink, “Thank you for your consideration!”

I wanted so badly to be mad— to keep my brow furrowed in the back seat and scowl so hard that they would have no choice but to take me home— but it was impossible because of the pearly grin Baekhyun flashed at me through the rearview mirror.

It’s unfair, really, that some people should be so cute. Baekhyun, Lucas, and— on occassion, when he decided it best suited his aims— Ten, were dangerously adorable. They could have convinced me with a single smile that they were innocent of murder, I bet. Baekhyun and Ten were conniving with their charms, but Lucas was just cute by coincidence or fate or nature.

Taemin could have been dangerous if he wanted to be, but I hadn’t known him to wield his cuteness as a weapon. Sometimes, I thought it was unfair that somebody should be as unaware of their charms as he was. Looking back, though, I don’t know if he was all that unaware. Maybe he knew well the effect he could have on people with no effort. I didn’t know; I don’t know; Taemin is, was, and always will be something like a mystery.

As if sharing one brain cell, Baekhyun and Lucas cheered, “I love this song!” and Lucas cranked the radio’s volume so high that the car bounced on soundwaves.

For Mark to hear over Lucas and Baekhyun’s deafening voices, I had to yell, “Where are we going?”

Mark’s face scrunched, confused. “Huh?” Then, a figurative light shone over his head. “We’re meeting the other guys at the campsite by the lake.”

Anxious once more, I asked, “Who’s going to be there?” But Mark had joined Lucas and Baekhyun in singing a song I couldn’t recognize, so he didn’t hear me.

My question went unanswered until Lucas helped me out of the backseat, and I looked over to see Taeyong, Ten, Kai, and Taemin gathered around a campfire. They were laughing at something, and their laughter grew louder as they raced to greet us.

Kai’s smile fell and crashed around his bare feet in the sand as his eyes settled on me. “What’s she doing here?”

Ten glared at him. Because I didn’t want to be a source of tension in the group, I scrambled to make a joke. Turning to reveal my bound wrists, I chuckled, “Well, believe me, I’m not here by choice!”

Suffice it to say that I hadn’t predicted the ensuing argument.

“What the hell?” Taeyong growled. When I turned to face him, he was cutting Baekhyun with his eyes. “Is this what you meant by ‘drastic measures?’ Kidnapping Lei from her house?”

“Don’t criticize your leader’s methods!” Baekhyun scolded as he pulled a drink— something I couldn’t quite see in the moonlight— out of a cooler in his car’s trunk. After gulping through half of the bottle, he said, “I got Lei here, and that’s more than you can say.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes, and Ten said, “Momager is definitely going to notice that Lei’s gone, and she’s going to kick your asses—” he gestured to Baekhyun, Lucas, and Mark— “and ground you, and take your phones—”

“I don’t want to get my ass kicked!” Mark pouted.

“And I don’t want to get my phone taken again,” Lucas sulked.

Baekhyun yelled, “if I’m going down, I’m taking all of you down with me!”

Kai argued, arms crossed, “Like hell I am! I didn’t even want her to come!”

I wished harder than ever that this was just another nightmare. Maybe, I thought, if I blinked enough, I would wake in my bed far away from this fighting, away from Kai’s scrutinizing stare. Fidgeting with my restraints while everybody was too busy bickering to notice— even Taeyong, who focused his rage on Baekhyun’s “poor leadership”— I wandered past the campfire.

Had I been wearing a jacket to shield myself from the cold mid-October nighttime breezes, it wouldn’t have been such a bad night to spend outdoors. The stars were on full display, and the moon was a sterling crescent so bright that I thought, were my wrists not bound, I could have reached out and grabbed it out of the sky and put it in my pocket.

That was a silly thought I dreamed about often: holding the moon, carrying it around with me in the daylight as if I could protect it better than the sky. I don’t know who planted that dream in my mind or why, but I was always grateful for it.

While I kicked at some rock I found at the edge of the water, somebody stepped up behind me and tugged at the fabric around my wrists. Half expecting it to be Lucas, I wheeled around with a smart-aleck comment dancing on the tip of my tongue.

I swallowed my words and forgot them as Taemin stared at me with smiling eyes. He waved. His mouth was closed, it seemed, to give me the opportunity to speak first. Then, realizing that I wouldn’t (couldn’t), he softly said, “Turn around, and I’ll untie you.”

While he set to untangling the knots, he offered, “I’ll drive you home if you really don’t want to be here.”

“You have a driver’s license?” I would have asked if my teeth didn’t sink into my tongue when his soft fingertips brushed against my skin as he unraveled the fabric.

Taemin grabbed my shoulder to urge me to face him. His eyebrows were raised in anticipation of an answer, so I shook my head and crossed my arms, trying to rub my goosebumps away. Again, Taemin had stolen my voice, and I was shrinking or melting under his gaze that I couldn’t match.

“Are you cold?” Taemin noticed how I shivered, and I noticed how he traced his fingers along a sky blue ribbon that must have been used to tie my wrists.

I nodded, realizing that Baekhyun, Lucas, or Mark must have stolen from my vanity the ribbon I wore on my debut stage. I wasn’t particularly attached to it until Taemin suggested, “I’ll give you my jacket if you give me this ribbon.”

I hadn’t worn it once since that performance nearly seven years ago, and it seemed that Taemin’s touch was reviving its once radiant color that faded after being abandoned on my vanity for all that time, but my chest tightened at the thought of losing this symbol of my debut.

Why did Taemin want it anyway? What could he do with an old ribbon?

Taemin shed his light blue denim jacket and carefully draped it over my shoulders. Its warmth enveloped me; its soft fleece interior— snow white— tickled my arms.

Mumbling my thanks, I bowed, and Taemin said, “You don’t really have to give me this.” He held the ribbon out to me. “It’s just— I heard that if someone gives you a ribbon—”

“Aye, love birds!” Baekhyun screamed at me and Taemin. He and the other boys, still wearing scowls, were gathering around the campfire. Beckoning me and Taemin over, Baekhyun announced, “We’re gonna play Truth or Dare!”

Before we obeyed Baekhyun, Taemin offered me the ribbon again. I shook my head, saying, “You can keep it if you want it.”

Not wanting to overanalyze my decision, I ran to sit down on a bean bag with Lucas. Here’s the problem: that bean bag wasn’t quite big enough for two people, so I nearly toppled onto the sandy, rocky ground. Thankfully, Lucas caught me— laughing as usual— and pulled me into his lap.

While Ten pretended to gag at us, Mark said, “Yo! Lei, there’s way more room with me!” although he sat on a bean bag identical to Lucas’s in every aspect except color; while Lucas’s was cotton candy pink, Mark’s was navy blue.

“Listen and listen good,” Lucas told Mark, “the most popular ship in S.M. is Leicas, not— well, your name and Lei’s don’t even fit together to make a ship name!”

Mark retorted, “Obviously, our ship name is Marklei, which is perfect because my name is actually—”

“I thought,” Baekhyun interrupted with a mischievous grin, “that the most popular ship in S.M. was Kai and Taemin.”

While Taemin offered a polite smile from his place on the ground at Kai’s side, Kai quietly glowered at the fire.

Oh, I sank, he really doesn’t want me here.

As if sensing my frown without seeing it, Lucas wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. “So, are we gonna play Truth or Dare, or what?”

Baekhyun looked to Taeyong (who sat on a scarlet bean bag) for permission to start the game. Taeyong shrugged at the attention. “Why are you looking at me? I said that we should talk through our issues as a group. This Truth or Dare thing was your idea.”

Digging into his cooler, which I guess he pulled out of his trunk while I was talking to Taemin, Baekhyun chirped, “Oh yeah!” He held up a bottle. “Let’s start then!” After taking a swig, he passed the drink to Taeyong and asked, “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.” Taeyong took a small sip of the drink that he spit out when Baekhyun asked, “Do you think I’m a bad leader?”

(Maybe) trying to prevent the atmosphere around the game from souring, Ten roared, “Take another sip! The first one doesn’t count since you just sprayed it all over Taemin’s face.”

Taemin still smiled politely as he brought the hem of his shirt up to wipe at his face with the white fabric. Although my eyes had already darted away from the first glimpse at Taemin’s abs, Lucas pressed his hands over my eyes.

Lucas laughed as I swatted him away so I could watch Taeyong’s face burn crimson as he took another sip at Ten’s direction. Meeting Baekhyun’s gaze, which was icy despite his boxy smile, Taeyong answered, “I think you have the potential to be a great leader, but you play around too much. These guys—” Taeyong nodded vaguely at Lucas and Mark— “really look up to you, and I think you should consider that when you encourage them to participate in over the top schemes.”

Baekhyun had been towering over Taeyong, but as he processed the mindfully phrased advice, Baekhyun sat atop the closed cooler. My gaze shifted nervously from Baekhyun to Taeyong, wondering who might first break the silence, wondering if Taeyong would apologize for speaking his mind.

The silence was finally broken by Baekhyun. “You know, I’ve never been a leader before. There’s a part of me that wants to believe that I’m doing a good job just because I have the title. There’s a part of me that wants to say that you all should follow me because I’m the oldest. But maybe— you know, I’ve never led a team with unlimited members.”

Baekhyun smiled at Taeyong and offered him a handshake that was instantly accepted.

Their agreement was unspoken, but I understood: Baekhyun knew that he could learn from Taeyong’s leadership experience. Baekhyun held the title, and Taeyong respected that, but the success of our group did not depend solely on Baekhyun’s wild schemes or Taeyong’s rational lectures. They— Baekhyun and Taeyong— were two halves of a whole leader.

The tension between them hadn’t disappeared, and it probably never would. Left unchecked, the tension would have led to dissent; once addressed, it could better our group. This, I realized, was the merit of open communication.

Bearing this in mind, I wasn’t offended by Kai’s response to Taeyong’s question, “How did you feel when Lei was added to SuperM?”

Although he was resigned to hating me, Kai seemed reluctant to answer even after taking several sips of the drink passed over by Taeyong.

“Upset,” was all that Kai said at first. He only added more at Taeyong’s urging. “It’s just— we had something really good between the seven of us. We had something special with our fans. Adding an eighth member feels wrong to me. And adding a girl—”

“Dude,” Ten snarled, “don’t start with that sexist shit, or—”

“It’s okay,” I said, knowing that Ten wouldn’t stand down at anybody else’s request. I smiled to prove that I wasn’t wounded by Kai’s words although my heart was pounding and a blush was rising in hot splotches across my cheeks.

Kai was entitled to his opinion even if his opinion didn’t favor me, so I met his eyes and said, “Please continue.”

As if seeing me for the first time, Kai held eye contact with me. “It’s nothing personal. I just— having a girl in the group adds a lot of complications. Everybody’s already gonna be focused on you because you’re new. On top of that, the fans are going to criticize us no matter how we interact with you because you’ll never be one of the guys.”

(I didn’t even want to be one of the guys, but I wheezed at the word “never.”)

“Just in this last week of people knowing that you’re in the group, SuperM has been associated with your Lucas dating rumors. And now that you’re in a subunit together, it’s just gonna be the Lei and Lucas show, and that’s not fair after all the work we— all the work I have dedicated to this group.”

Either to rebel against Kai’s criticisms or to brace me against them, Lucas patted my shoulders.

Weirdly, though, I didn’t feel upset. My skin was tougher than anybody expected. Besides, I preferred this conversation with Kai to the months of silently avoiding each other. Understanding his grievances against me helped me understand him. Maybe by responding with the same honesty, I could help him understand me.

I had to try.

“You might not have been excited to work with me,” I started as Kai passed the bottle to Mark (because, for some reason, Taemin had walked away from the game), “but I was excited by the chance to work with you.”

Kai’s eyes broke away from Mark and settled on me. This time, his eyes were no longer filled with anger or apprehension; they were soft, warm, kind enough to encourage me to keep speaking authentically.

“I know you’re probably right.” I shook my head, stomach tightening as I admitted, “No, you’re definitely right. People would rather look at me and guess who I’m kissing behind closed curtains than appreciate how I contribute to the group. They would rather see me as Lucas’s other half than my own person. I hate that too.” I did. I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. “I’m sorry that my presence has affected what you’ve built with the other members, especially because I didn’t want— I don’t want—”

My voice broke as I tried to organize my thoughts. I think everyone assumed I was on the verge of tears because Mark gasped, and Lucas hugged me, and Baekhyun distracted himself by rooting through the cooler again, and Taeyong ran a hand through his hair like he always did when stressed, and Ten glared at Kai, and Kai apologized and crossed the distance between us to envelope me in a bone-crushing embrace.

“I can’t breathe,” I gasped, and Kai dropped me onto Lucas’s lap. After Kai returned to his seat, and the thick tension in the air dissipated, and Taemin returned wearing a relieved sort of smile, I concluded, “I’m genuinely honored to perform with all of you.”

The boys responded with over-enthusiastic coos (Baekhyun even pretended to faint) before Mark was dared to jump into the lake wearing all of his clothes.

When he returned shivering, Mark yelled over everyone’s laughter, “Just watch— if I catch a cold, Momager will avenge me!”

“Yeah,” Ten agreed before taking a swig of the drink even though it wasn’t his turn to play yet, “right before she beats your ass for doing such a stupid thing just because Kai dared you!”

I don’t know why they were so fearful of Mom physically attacking them. Mom rarely raised her voice, let alone her fists. Still, when everybody else laughed at Ten’s remark (except poor freezing Mark), I couldn’t help but laugh along.

“Yo, Lei,” Mark raised his eyebrows at me.

“Yo, Mark.”

“Truth or dare?” Mark handed me the bottle. Now that I held it, I caught the strong scent of strawberry.

It was a sweet strawberry wine. The alcohol barely stung on its way down my throat. “Truth,” I chose, unwilling to leap in the lake or perform any such task.

Mark took no time to consider a question. I guess he’d had enough time to think of what to ask me; or, more likely, Mark didn’t have to think before speaking. “NCT Dream is, like, your ultimate group, right?”

No, they weren’t. I never publicly claimed a favorite group, but if I had to choose, it would not have been a difficult choice.

“I like NCT Dream,” I replied carefully. “Is that the question? To name my ultimate group?”

Mark shook his head, “Nah.”

I sighed, relieved that I wouldn’t have to admit that SHINee was my ultimate group right in front of Taemin, who observed the game with smiling eyes.

“Who’s your bias in NCT Dream?” Mark asked, sitting on the edge of his bean bag.

Lucas groaned and, I imagined, cradled his face in his hands. “I cannot believe that you just got her started on—”

Excited by the sudden turn in the conversation toward my absolute favorite topic, I smiled and sat up as straight as I could. Mark’s hopeful expression should have prompted me to lie— to say that he was my bias— but I enthusiastically confessed, “Obviously, my bias is the love of my life, Na Jaemin!”

Dramatically clutching over his heart, Mark collapsed on his bean bag.

Baekhyun smirked. “Maybe it was Jaemin’s name you were moaning in your sleep!”

And Taeyong raised a single eyebrow at Baekhyun’s response before focusing on me. “Jaemin? The love of your life is Jaemin? Baby Jaemin?” His reaction was a little ridiculous considering that Jaemin was only about a year and a half younger than me.

“He’s not looking like such a baby in the comeback promotional pictures!” I patted around my pockets before realizing that I didn’t have my phone. I didn’t even have pockets because I was wearing black polka dotted pajama bottoms.

I held my hand out for Lucas to give me his phone, and he shook his head when I looked back at him. “No way, Lei, I’m not enabling you to thirst after—”

“You can use my phone!” Taemin offered, holding his phone up high above his head. Everybody gawked at him because he had been so silent throughout the game, and he chose to speak up about something so silly.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have been able to look at Taemin for fear that I would never be able to look away. I wouldn’t have been able to speak to him. But to see Jaemin, I could do anything.

I leaped off of Lucas’s lap despite his laughing protests. Kai moved over to make space for me between himself and Taemin, reasoning, “I want to see the Dream comeback trailers, too,” as Taemin entrusted his phone to my hands. Sitting and setting the bottle of wine on the ground before us, I found the videos on YouTube and watched them with Taemin and Kai.

“Ah!” Taemin cried, “I can’t believe how tall Jisung is!”

“I know!” I beamed at Taemin’s enthusiasm and comfortably met his gaze for the first time. “No matter how tall he gets, though, I think he’ll always have the cutest baby face. Or at least I hope—”

“Alright!” Baekhyun whined, pounding his fist against the cooler. “I’m bored! Lei, ask somebody to play Truth or Dare! I command you as your leader!”

Taeyong shook his head at Baekhyun’s abuse of power while grinning.

Taemin held his hand out for the wine, so I gave it to him, asking, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Taemin said into the bottle.

Because I had been dying to know for what felt like an eternity, I asked, “What do you believe happens if somebody gives you a ribbon?”

“Huh?” Kai’s head quirked curiously.

Ten asked, “Is that code for something?” and I pictured from his tone that his eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

Baekhyun wailed, “It’s not a fair question if nobody else knows what you’re talking about!” But I didn’t care much whether it was a fair question.

Taemin’s face turned a pale pink, and a smile tugged gently at the corner of his lips. He reached a hand into the pocket of his hoodie where I dreamed he kept the ribbon. “I’m not sure, but I hear it has something to do with soulmates.”

Just like that, I couldn’t meet his eyes anymore.

As the boys erupted into chaotic screams, and my eyebrows knit together in confusion— heart fluttering at the word soulmates as my mind raced to decide whether they were real— Taemin stood to pass the bottle to Ten.

Ten chose dare, so Taemin dared him to call the seventh person on his recent call log (who happened to be Kun) and sing the chorus of “Love Talk.” Being absolutely shameless, Ten accomplished his task without breaking into the slightest blush. Ten laughed the hardest when Kun said, “You really need to lay off the wine— I can smell your breath from here,” with ‘here’ being the WayV dorms miles away.

Then, Ten dared Lucas to perform the subunit choreography with me. Initially, I protested because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of the members, grumbling, “Why should I have to participate in Lucas’s dare?” But everyone started clapping and chanting, “Leicas, Leicas, Leicas,” even Taemin and Kai, so I had no choice.

In the end, Ten’s dare turned out to be a clever scheme. Just seconds into the dance, he claimed, “You’re doing it all wrong!” Ten peeled Lucas off of me so he could place his hands around my waist and joke to Kai, “This is one of the benefits of having a girl in the group, ya know?”

In retribution, Lucas and I slapped at Ten, and Kai kicked at him, but— being so sneaky and elusive— Ten evaded all of our attempts at justice while laughing.

Once all of us sat down, Lucas dared Baekhyun, “Drop three ice cubes down your pants!”

While the other guys groaned at Lucas’s dare— Mark shrieked, “You take it too far, man!”— Baekhyun challenged, “Only three?” before dumping two overflowing handfuls of ice— retrieved from the cooler— into his black joggers.

Baekhyun’s resulting screams and the other boys’ laughter blended together in an inhuman cacophony. As Baekhyun reached for the waistband of his pants, I screamed, and Taemin shielded my eyes with his hands.

The game continued after the Ice Incident, but I have forgotten most of what happened in the aftermath. I’ve heard that stress does strange things to the human mind. However, I can’t forget that when he had the opportunity to ask me anything, Taemin asked, “Who is your ultimate idol?”

Crinkles formed around Ten’s eyes when he laughed. “Didn’t you hear when Lei yelled at me last round for asking who her bias in WayV is?”

Baekhyun said, “She only got mad because she didn’t want to choose between you and Lucas!”

That was partially true, but I would never admit it.

“No,” Kai argued, “she clearly said that she was tired of everyone asking who her biases are after you—” he glared at Baekhyun— “kept pestering her about who she likes in EXO!”

Baekhyun defended his actions by explaining, “I honestly thought that if I went through every subunit, through every era, she would eventually pick me! I didn’t expect it to be all Sehun, Suho, and—” he mimicked my voice— “‘Baekhyun, my CBX bias is always Xiumin, so quit fishing for compliments!’”

We all laughed at how poorly Baekhyun’s joking tone masked genuine wounded feelings, and he threatened me, “Just wait until Sehun finds out that he’s really your bias after all!” before whipping his phone out of his pocket.

“Anyway,” I focused my attention on Taemin as well as I could, but it’s impossible to look directly at the sun. “You want to know who my ultimate idol is?”

It wasn’t such a bad question. Being asked who your idol is isn’t the same as being asked who your crush is. My idol was somebody who inspired me with his talent— with his art. I shouldn’t have been afraid to identify him because, in a way, it was almost like introducing myself.

But nobody ever asked me who my inspiration was before. On talk shows, it was always about who I was dating, or who I was rumored to be dating, or my relationships with Super junior, or my ideal type. Always, in some way or another, people tried to understand me through my relationships with men. Maybe it wouldn’t have been half as frustrating if I were actually allowed to have relationships—

No. It was frustrating to never be appreciated on my own merit as a human being. It was always frustrating, even though I rarely admitted it to myself.

Oblivious to my internal monologue, Taemin nodded, and I took a deep breath. If I kept thinking so hard about it, I would lose all nerve, so I forced myself to reply quickly, “You are.”

The guys— except Taemin, who seemed stunned by my answer— took turns gagging.

“Oh,” Taeyong teased, raising his eyebrows, “so it’s not the love of your life Na Jaemin?” He had been smug since learning that he was my bias in NCT 127.

Ten accused, “Lei, I bet your favorite comeback is ‘Move’ or ‘Want.’ You know, one of the really sensual ones, where Taemin moves like this.” Ever the show off, Ten jumped at the opportunity to perform Taemin’s choreography.

Kai and Mark were in agreement that “Well, those dances are pretty iconic,” but Lucas set the record straight.

“No, you guys got it all wrong. Lei is the kind who likes for a song to kick her right in her emotions, ya know? When she got ‘Want’ for her birthday, she put that ‘Monologue’ song on repeat. Her favorite SHINee song? The hella intense ‘An Encore’ or ‘From Now On.’ I thought she’d never leave her room again when Taemin performed ‘That I Was Once By Your Side’ on TV! I went over to her house three times that week— because, ya know, Mom is the best cook ever— and that song was on nonstop replay, and—”

“Alright!” I picked a marshmallow out of a bag Taemin retrieved from his car and threw it right at Lucas’s big head. “They get it!” And everyone looked at me to confirm Lucas’s claims, so I admitted, “Look— obviously ‘Move’ and ‘Want’ are iconic, okay? But at the end of the day, I like for a song to make me feel something, I don’t know, tear inducing.”

My tone was harsh, biting, and I glared at Lucas because I thought my personal preferences— especially my thing for emotional ballads— were a little too private to be brought up at a game of Truth or Dare. I knew the guys probably didn’t care much or at all about which Taemin songs I liked, but I felt like I (or, rather, Lucas) had shared too many of the pieces of identity I held closest to my heart.

Taemin ended his silence (which weighted my heart with the fear that he thought I was weird) by saying, “‘An Encore’ is my favorite song too.”

That was all he said before leaning forward so that his bright toothy smile, which was somehow far more beautiful than the usual polite closed-mouth grin, was an unavoidable display right before my eyes.

“Lucas, it’s cold,” I shivered, hoping that none of the others would overhear my complaint from their tents. I didn’t want to have a reputation for being the high maintenance member even if secretly (not so secretly) I was.

Lucas rolled over in our blanket fort to pin me under his weight again.

Suffocating, I hissed, “What are you doing? I told you already— stay on your side of the tent!”

“You’re cold,” he mumbled sleepily into my ear, “so obviously I’m warming you up with cuddles!”

Nobody on this planet craved cuddles more than Lucas, I swear. That arrangement— the warmth emanating from his body as he tucked his arm snugly around my waist— would have been perfect, romantic even, if I wanted Lucas that close to me in any version of the universe.

“Get off, Lucas!” I struggled in vain to untangle our limbs. It was impossible because he was taller, heavier, and stronger than me. “When I said that I was cold, I was hoping that you would pass me another blanket or—”

Unsympathetically, Lucas hummed, “I guess you should have kept Taemin’s jacket on.”

It was a cheap shot— trying to stun me into silence by mentioning Taemin— but Lucas wasn’t above committing that kind of foul.

I retorted, “I guess you should have thrown a travel bag together for me before aiding Baekhyun and Mark in their kidnapping plot—”

“You’re still going on about that?” Lucas huffed as if I would forgive or forget any time soon, especially with the total lack of apology. “Lei, I told you that I packed extra boxers that you can borrow—”

“I am not interested in borrowing your underwear, Lucas!”

Resolving that there was no other option, I forced both of my hands to the parts of his ribs just below his armpits, where I knew he was most ticklish. I basked in triumph as his entire body writhed in laughter, and I could finally muster the strength to push him away in his weakened state.

Lucas must have packed more than boxers in his duffel bag, I reasoned, and I had crossed most of the distance in our tiny tent to investigate that suspicion when he tackled me into the fluffy blanketed floor.

“Get off, Lucas!” Repeating myself was a waste of breath, but the words tumbled out of my mouth anyway.

He rolled me onto my back so I could watch his face contort with his maniacal laughter, so he could watch the panic that flashed in my eyes as I realized that I had started a tickle war. My eyes tightened closed, and I held my breath in anticipation of a touch that never happened.

As if Heaven or Hell intervened either to rescue from Lucas’s insanity or to one-up his chaos, the tent came crashing down around us. I guess Lucas took the blunt of the force because as I struggled to crawl out from under the orange fabric, he screamed something like, “My family jewels!”

That outburst, I think, was the cause of Ten’s and Baekhyun’s identical laughter that I witnessed as I emerged, breathless, from the collapsed tent.

“Mark wanted to wake you up,” Ten started, and Baekhyun finished, “but we told him that he probably didn’t want to see whatever was going on in that tent.”

Sitting on the hood of his car, Taeyong laughed, but he masked his laughter by pretending to choke on his breakfast bar.

Ten and Baekhyun, disappointed with my lack of response to their perversion, set to helping Mark untangle the still groaning Lucas from the tent.

Taemin was standing, leaned against Taeyong’s car, making a face that I thought was a reaction to Ten and Baekhyun’s stupid joke. He looked like he had chewed through a lemon.

“Lucas and I—” I started to explain that nothing that happened in the tent— well, nothing than Lucas annoying me, as usual— but I stopped when Taemin faced me with a smile.

Oh. I wanted to slap my forehead. He had been squinting at the over-enthusiastic bright morning sun. Taemin didn’t care about what Lucas and I did or didn’t do. Why would he?

“Um.” I should have been content to fall to silence, but I couldn’t say nothing with Taemin looking at me like that, like he was excited to hear whatever I had to say. Not wanting to talk about Lucas, I said, “I left your jacket in the tent.” I gestured over my shoulder with a thumb and followed my own gesture to see that Mark, Baekhyun, and Ten were no closer to rescuing Lucas.

Actually, it looked like they had wrapped him up into something resembling a burrito. Knowing them, that was probably their intention. Jokers, even at the crack of dawn.

Taemin’s voice claimed my attention. “Don’t worry about it.”

His hands were shoved into the front pockets of impractically tight black jeans. He had traded last night’s white hoodie for a black one. When his hand carded through his soft blonde— almost brown— hair, I thought he knew that he looked like a character from the pages of a young adult novel or a movie that makes every girl’s heart race.

But then I saw the blue ribbon, my blue ribbon, tied around his wrist, and I knew that Taemin was up to something that I didn’t understand or trust.

“It’s yours, you know.”

I figured that he was talking about the ribbon. For some reason, I felt so embarrassed that, for a split second, I vaguely regretted giving it to him when I barely knew him as anything more than an immaculate figure on stage. For some reason, I glared at him because I couldn’t believe that talk about soulmates, and I couldn’t understand why he should want to be mine— even if it was pretend or convenient or, like Ten said last night while dancing with me, one of the benefits of having a girl in the group.

Had Taemin been anyone else in the world, I would have barked that I was tired of being everybody’s safe crush— the person Lucas could cuddle because the fans shipped it and there were no real feelings involved, the person Mark could pine after shamelessly because I would never let the feelings lead us anywhere, the person Sehun liked to flirt with because there was no risk of slipping into a relationship due to my refusal to date.

I’m glad I admired Taemin too much to lose my temper; I would have felt stupid for ranting when he said, “The jacket, I mean. The jacket is yours. We made a trade, remember?”

“Oh.” I felt stupid even though my rant hadn’t left the confines of my mind.

Probably somehow bothered by our conversation— or maybe taking pity on my inability to talk to Taemin like a normal person— Taeyong knocked his knuckles against the hood of his car. “Lei, Kai said that he wants to talk to you before you leave.”

I grinned, relieved that Kai and I had made some progress toward friendship during Truth or Dare. I thought that even if he still hated me, I would have raced to find Kai to distract me from whatever fire Taemin struck in my mind or chest or stomach.

“Where is he?” I asked.

Taeyong pointed toward the water. Taemin offered to walk me there, and I blurted, “No.”

Taemin winced at my instant rejection, and Taeyong leaped off of his car to oversee the others’ progress in freeing Lucas.

I had to come up with a quick explanation for Taemin. I couldn’t tell him why I didn’t want him to walk with me even if I understood (and I didn’t), but I also couldn’t leave him sulking by Taeyong’s car.

“I have to apologize,” I decided, and Taemin’s forehead wrinkled. “I feel like I owe Kai a private apology, and if you’re there— well, it won’t be so private then, will it?”

Taemin shrugged, and I knew he didn’t buy my reasoning, but he gave me that polite smile. The closed mouth one. The one I was starting to think was more of a habit than a genuine expression. I stared at him, and he bowed, and that meant it was time for me to leave.

It’s funny that after rejoicing in having a reason to leave just moments before, I should search so desperately for a reason to stay standing with Taemin. There were no reasons, so I set off toward the water to find Kai while contemplating Taemin’s smile.

I had no right to crave his authentic expressions, yet I was reeling from receiving such a rehearsed gesture as that tight-lipped grin. I was stupid— for glaring at his ribbon symbolism and then for frowning at the behavior that was perfectly appropriate among colleagues, among acquaintances. This— this is why I didn’t mess with boys. I didn’t understand them, and I never wanted to before, so why did I want to think about Taemin’s smile even though it made me sick, even though it either filled my stomach with butterflies (when it was that bright, full, toothy smile) or tied it in knots (when it was that carefully molded meaningless grin)?

I forced the thoughts from the forefront of my mind and tried to ignore their nagging in the darker recesses when I sat next to Kai on the edge of a wooden pier. The pie wasn’t that tall, so Kai’s bare feet kissed the water’s surface. I imagined that with a little effort, I could make my feet reach the water, but I was content enough with the breeze breathing on my skin.

“Good morning, Kai,” I greeted. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t there just on Taeyong’s orders; I really wanted to talk to him.

“Good morning.”

Kai didn’t look at me directly; he met my eyes in my reflection on the water. He probably didn’t mean anything special by it, but I wanted to think that he was trying to make it easier for me to speak to him. In these past months of working together, he either stared at me, though me, or went to inconvenient lengths to look away from me. This place where we met on the water was a happy medium. It was like meeting halfway.

“I meant what I said last night,” he said, and I guessed that’s why he told Taeyong that he wanted to talk to me. “And I’m sorry.”

I nodded. “I know. I meant what I said too.” Not to make my ramblings to Taemin true but because I meant it, I added, “I’m sorry too, Kai.”

He smiled. Such a genuine smile had to be appreciated directly from the source, not through a rippling reflection on the water, so I looked at him. He looked at me. “You don’t have to call me Kai. You can call me Jongin.”

Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal to everyone, but I always felt wary of the difference between a stage name and a birth name. Lei was my name on stage and in life, and I often wondered what it would have been like to have separate names. Would that have made it easier to distinguish me (the person) from me (the idol)?

Lucas said that I thought too much when I asked him whether calling him Yukhei or Xuxi would make him my best friend. “I’m your best friend no matter what you call me, silly. Don’t ya know a name’s just a name?” He flicked my forehead, unaware that he had expressed a sort of wisdom penned by Shakespeare. (I know Lucas said it didn’t matter, but I feel like I should explain that I ended up calling him Lucas because he laughed at my pronunciations of Yukhei and Xuxi.)

I knew I wouldn’t make a habit of calling Kai by his birth name because I just didn’t know him well enough for it to sound right coming from my mouth. I should have just forced through my discomfort if sharing his name with me was a way to express the desire for friendship— if calling him Jongin was the way to become his friend— so I tried it just once when I said, “Okay, Jongin.”

That moment I shared with Kai was the happiest I had been since joining SuperM, and it couldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes before Heechul came running onto the pier, screaming, “I’ve found her, I’ve found her!” His chin length black hair was tousled by the wind, his eyebrows were gathered together as his eyes narrowed at me, and the swollen bags under his eyes were an exhausted purple. Heechul hissed, “What were you thinking, sneaking out like that? You mother and I looked for you all night!”

Ah, so that explained the dark bags under his eyes. I opened my mouth to ask how they finally found us, but Kai’s voice filled the air. “It’s not Lei’s fault. Baekhyun—”

Kai was going to explain that Baekhyun, Lucas, and Mark had kidnapped me from my room. That was the truth, and maybe they deserved to be punished for being so dumb, but I didn’t want them to get in trouble— especially not after I had finally started to fit into the group (at least in part) because of their efforts.

“Baekhyun talked me into going camping with everyone,” I said as Mom stood at Heechul’s side. They really did look like siblings wearing the same hairstyle and matching tracksuits— bright red— with their hands on their hips as they eyed me suspiciously. “Really! We needed the group bonding, and I didn’t want to interrupt your drama to tell you where I was going, and—” I knew this would push Heechul’s buttons, so I don’t know why I said this unless I wanted to watch his eyes pop out of his head— “I’m 21 years old, so ,technically, I’m allowed—”

“You are never allowed to give me a heart attack like that! No matter how old you are!” Heechul yelled, so Mom had to be calm even if she didn’t want to be.

“I’m tired.” Her voice was a mumble, and I knew that was my cue to leave. After waving goodbye to Kai on the pier and the other boys on the beach (Their heads were hung in shame at having been caught by Mom and Heechul with the rising of the sun.), I crawled into the backseat of Mom’s SUV.

Heechul passed out as soon as his head hit the passenger seat’s headrest. Trusting that he wouldn’t hear our conversation, Mom started the car and said, “I know you didn’t sneak out, Lei, and I know that I don’t need to explain how recklessly you all behaved.” She eyed me sternly through the rearview mirror. “You need to think about what it means to be the only girl in a group of boys, and you need to decide what you want your reputation to be before the tour stats tomorrow.”

In all my life, I had never really been scolded by Mom. It was worse than I could have imagined. Although she turned her eyes away from me quickly— her stare had lasted just a few seconds— the disappointment seemed to linger over me. I couldn’t tell if I had concerned her as a Mom or as a Manager. I couldn’t tell which was worse, and I wanted to say that I was sorry, but my throat felt too tight to speak.

The pounding of my heart quickened when I noticed it in the space next to me on the back seat: Taemin’s folded denim jacket. I couldn’t wear it with Mom sneaking those glances at me; she would ask where it came from. I couldn’t wear it out in public; it was noticeably too big, and fans would imagine that it had been given to me by a boyfriend. It would only be a matter of time before super fans started tagging me in pictures of Taemin wearing the same jacket.

What good was having a jacket that I could never wear? It was wasteful. It was a token of a memory I couldn’t quite understand.

And still, I felt like I would have to thank Taemin at Donghae’s birthday party.

29 notes · View notes