#plush: primate

[theyshapedlikefriends]

No thoughts head empty

Only 5 Bananas the Orangutan Beanie Babies

[jellycatstuffies]

Oswald Orangutan

Ko-fi / Instagram

[cutencuddlycreatures]

Beanie Babies: Bongo

[beaniebabydaily]

Zoomer the Monkey (BBOM) - Beanie Baby

[the-purple-auxiliatrix]

All of my Primate Plushies together!!

I love monkeys/apes/primate species so much

primate plushies soothe my soul

[saidtheskinhorse]

This is my daily invitation to visit my website www.saidtheskinhorse.com- it's a site that celebrates the special relationship we have with our favorite toys from childhood. The site is having a glitch, but I can still take pictures!

[nereidprinc3ss]

in the dead of night

in which spencer wakes up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming desire to feel you

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: fem!reader, soft dom!spence (certified nereidprinc3ss classic), sub reader, fingering, piv sex, praise, overstimulation, cr**mp*e (god pls we need a new term) a/n: this is probably THEE most self-indulgent thing i've ever written. but.... lowkey favorite smut i've posted thus far..... i'm such a sucker for disgustingly sleepy needy sex. just.... read it and u will see.... and as usual i love you!!! PLEASE tell me what you think!! MWAH

When Spencer got home around one in the morning, he’d been too dead on his feet to do anything more than get undressed, fall into bed, pull you close, and pass out. Now he’s slightly disoriented as he stirs, pinned between sleep and wakefulness as he realizes how you’ve curled into his side—your face is buried in his shoulder to the point where he’s concerned about your access to air—but each warm puff against his neck assures him you’re breathing alright. One arm is slung haphazardly over his shoulder and your top leg is wound around his. Without thinking, his hand cups the back of your thigh, stroking the bare skin where it presses against his hip. You’re never so soft as you are in sleep; plush, easy, gentle. Spencer realizes with some degree of frustration that he has to fuck you. That’s why he’s awake, and he condemned himself to the fate of it as soon as he touched you. 

Sometimes the impracticality of sex becomes so apparent he resents his own mammalian, biological drive to reproduce. It was never like this before he met you. You reduce him to nothing more than a primate doomed to follow its basest instincts. You make him feel stupid. 

God, he loves you. 

It’s with this in mind he drops his head to kiss your shoulder—a gentle sort of wake up call, as his hand snakes further around to your inner thigh and he presses his lips to your ear. 

“Baby?” he murmurs, kneading the smooth warmth of your leg. It doesn’t take much to wake you up. He thought after you’d been staying at his apartment on a semi-regular basis you’d begin to sleep through him getting up and coming home at odd hours, but if anything, you became more sensitive to the floor creaking or the mattress dipping. 

“Hm?” 

His fingers brush the fabric of your underwear. Your hips twitch. 

“Is this okay?”

You inhale deeply, readjusting your arms around him and nodding into his chest. 

“I need yes or no, angel.”

“Yes, please.”

The words aren’t desperate. They’re sleepy, mumbled, maybe even a little annoyed that he’s making you jump through hoops. The corner of his mouth twists in amusement at your perfunctory politeness and the way it poorly disguises your habitual impatience. 

“Thank you,” he says, rewarding you with his fingers pushing between your folds through the fabric. You say nothing more as he unhurriedly rubs your clothed clit, but he feels the way your breath catches for a moment—before pouring out in one deep tide. He presses slightly harder, transitioning from passes to slow, tight circles that elicit the tiniest, sleepiest moans. This goes on for a while until your hips begin grinding in isolated circles, chasing his hand. 

“Touch it,” you beg quietly. He can feel how damp you are through the fabric and realizes he was probably torturing you for several minutes, but sometimes he just gets so lost in touching you it becomes almost meditative. He pulls his hand away and snakes it between your bodies, sliding beneath your underwear and dragging his fingers over your puffy clit. You whimper but he quickly gets distracted when he realizes just how wet you actually are. Spencer sinks his fingers into you and moans lowly at the sound, rubbing at a spot deep inside you and rutting his palm against your clit rather than pumping his fingers. 

“Breathe,” he reminds you when he realizes how still and silent you’ve gone. A small amount of air escapes in a tremulous little cry as your hips roll gently against his hand—whether to escape the sensation or get closer is unclear. “You’re all wet, baby. Were you touching yourself before I got home?”

“Mhm,” you hum weakly against him. “Couldn’t come.”

Spencer feels like he could finish at the thought alone—the nightly phone calls while he’s away occasionally devolve into desperate phone sex and he’s gotten off to the image of you playing with yourself in his bed on more than one occasion. 

“We’ll make you come,” he promises, dragging his fingers from your soaked heat with bated breath. 

He pushes your underwear down first, until you can kick it off your feet (you’ll have to search for it between tangled sheets tomorrow) and then his own, inhaling sharply through clenched teeth as his cock brushes your tummy. Spencer hoists your bent leg further up his body, exposing your cunt a little more and reaching underneath your thigh until he can guide himself between them. 

The head of his cock pushes between your folds momentarily before he’s teasing your swollen clit, slipping the underside of his tip over it in lazy, noisy circles until you whine. 

“Stop it,” you beg, voice still strained with sleep, “need it inside.”

“You’re right, baby, I’m sorry,” he croons, pressing his lips to your hair as he notches his cock at your dripping entrance and slowly begins to push in. “You’re being very patient—”

He cuts himself off as the two of you moan in filthy harmony. You’re so worked up for him, so defenseless in your half-unconscious state that he slips in with far less resistance than usual. 

“Fuck, me,” he groans under his breath, hissing and bucking his hips when you tighten around him and cry out. He shuts his eyes and thinks of the Goncharov conjecture in an attempt to control himself; the i-th cohomology of the complex is isomorphic to the motivic cohomology group—and then he’s fine. He’s at least learned to stop rattling off mathematical paradoxes out loud during sex. “You okay?”

The only answer you have for him is an indecipherable whine that makes his chest ache. He rubs your thigh in sweet, soothing passes. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” A thought occurs—he chuckles breathily, seeing stars as you throb around him. “You never let me in that easily.”

“Mm,” you squeak, gripping his shoulder hard enough that it aches and he truly couldn’t care less, “you feel good.”

He exhales shakily, pulling out slightly before grinding his hips even deeper into yours. 

“Yeah? So do you, sweet girl.”

“Fuck,” you whimper, and he takes it as a sign that you’re ready to be fucked. Spencer’s not thinking about a whole lot as he withdraws all the way and you clench around him desperately—but somewhere in the back of his mind he’s realizing how much he loves your dirty mouth. When he was younger and dumber, he thought he’d prefer a girl who was soft-spoken and rarely (if ever) cursed. Now that he’s had you, he realizes how compelling and endearing the contrast of your soft voice is when you’re swearing like a marine. 

“God, I missed you,” he breathes into your hair as he leisurely finds the right pace and you melt against him. “I missed how soft and wet you get for me,” Spencer admits gently, eyes screwed shut as he rambles from a place of profound affection and not at all thinking clearly, “and I missed how you cry when you need it so bad it hurts, and I missed how sweet you are when you let me fuck you right after I get home and you’re so tired, just like this. You’re always so good, honey, I don’t know what I did to deserve you—” You whine and clench so hard around him it becomes an effort to push back in, and he groans as he realizes you’re already coming. “Good girl, baby. Holy fuck.”

That last part is more so whispered to himself, but he can’t help it as he feels you painting his cock with your release. You’ve never come this quickly before, and he slips his arm beneath the crook of your knee, pulling up and granting himself more access to fuck you harder and faster. You moan brokenly, sinking your nails into his back. 

“‘m sorry. That was—I didn’t mean to.”

“No,” he quickly assures you, breathing hard, “that was so good, baby. It was perfect. Don’t apologize.”

It seems the brief window between climax and over-stimulation has passed, and a gasp falls from your dropped jaw, arching into him as your body unconsciously tries to find relief from the sensation. 

“Oh, god, Spencer, I—”

“You can take it, we’re getting close,” he promises. Not a demand, but meant as encouragement. “Do you think you can come for me one more time?”

“I don’t know,” you slur, the words rising to squeak. 

“I think you can. Come on, show me how you were touching yourself earlier.”

You whimper, but slide your hand from his shoulder and push it between your bodies. A gasp accompanies the jolt of your muscles as you make contact with your clit, probably demanding too much of it. Soon, however, the conflicted mewls melt into a rhythmic string of delicate, short moans, so pretty it’s like a practiced song. Spencer’s brain, usually overflowing with words, is nothing but a void of swirling fog—each of your perfect sounds, a little burst of light. Soon he’s making noises of his own, which you obviously adore if the way you tense around him is any clue. Usually he sublimates them into words, but he’s too tired, and you feel too good. Your combined moans, along with the sound of him fucking you and the sheets moving over skin make for a truly dirty soundscape. 

“Will you come inside me?” you beg breathlessly, and he can feel the movement of your hand speeding up as you get desperate. He sucks in a breath through his teeth at your plaintive request—the words bring him that much closer to finishing. 

“Yeah, baby. I’m—fuck, I’m not going to last.”

“Spencer—” and somehow, when you say his name like that, he knows exactly what you want. He bows his head and finds your lips, mostly blind in the dark, kissing you messily until that split second where his grip on reality becomes tenuous before the building pressure finally bursts. Multicolored fireworks explode behind his eyes as he moans against your lips and continues fucking you through his orgasm in strong thrusts for as long as he can. Thankfully you finish again just as he’s running out of steam. He rubs the spasming muscles of your thigh deeply as you writhe against him in your typical push-pull style—you don’t know what you want and it’s his job to hold you still and make you take it. After a moment you quiet down, stilling in his arms except for the continued expansion and contraction of your lungs. “Oh my god,” you breathe. “I can’t believe I did that. That’s so embarrassing.” Spencer chuckles breathily—kisses your forehead with his eyes still shut and slips a hand under your shirt to rub your back. 

“Why is it embarrassing? I liked it.”

“I have never—it’s never been so fast! It’s not supposed to be!”

“Why not?”

You huff.

“You’re the man. Men come too quickly. Not me.”

“I’m sorry you had to have two orgasms instead of one. Next time we’ll make sure you don’t come so we can even it out.”

You bury your face in his shoulder once more, immediately softening. 

“No! I take it back.”

“I thought you might.” His hand slides down your back, squeezing your ass affectionately. “Let's rally. We need to clean you up, angel.”

The pillow muffles your voice as you say, “I can’t. I’m asleep.”

“Can I record you saying that for playback in the morning when you ask me why I let you go to sleep with my come inside of you?”

“Spencer, I am seriously not moving. You woke me up. This is not a me problem.”

That makes him laugh, and he presses his lips to yours softly. After a long moment of his mouth moving slowly against yours, a needy little whine rushes from your nose, and it becomes evident he’s successfully kissed the attitude from you.

“You were so good, honey,” he murmurs against your lips. Another (shorter) kiss. “Did so well. I’m proud of you, baby.”

A second soft whimper from you as you chase his lips and he gives in once, briefly—knowing he can’t make you get up after this. How could he do that to such a sweet girl when she’s obviously completely exhausted? Jesus, you have him whipped. He recognizes that. And he made peace with it a long time ago. 

“Go back to sleep. I’ll clean you up.”

“Thank you,” you mumble, already slipping back into unconsciousness like you knew you’d get your way. Knowing your boyfriend, you probably did. “I love you.”

“I love you. Even though you’re a princess.”

You laugh. 

Ten-ish minutes later, once he’s done the best he can cleaning you up and is throwing the covers back over both of you, you startle him slightly by speaking. He thought you’d been asleep. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you sigh dreamily, snaking your arms around him once more. Spencer’s cheeks heat up at the memory of the praise he’d shamelessly lavished upon you not long ago. He’s glad you’re barely awake, because he’s too flustered to think of a response. 

He loves it when you do that. 

[neverchecking]

i see requests are open and i come humbly asking, begging for something with Reader and the triplets. preferably nsfw but anything is appreciated and thanked. we’ve gotten crumbs but i’m greedy and want more for them please 🤲🏼 -🐝

🐝ANON!

Here yall go. See you in four hours ;) I expect big things when I come back BIG THINGS

Reminder: This is not Linkcest. The Links aren't in love with each other. just reader. And for more information on my Request status, check my bio or pinned post :D

Smut so MDNI! 18+

Smut CW: Foursomes, three dudes, one reader. AFAB Reader, Double penetration, anal play. mouth fucking,

"Can't you stay on your fucking side?!"

Whoever thought this was a good idea needed to be thrown down a cliff. Or off a river. Which ever option gave them a more painful death, because this was painful. Pure agony.

Who's bright idea was it to stuff him in a room with the fucking Failure of a hero and the soldier with a stick so far up his ass he was flossing with splinters. Seriously. They could sleep outside like the dogs that they were, in his humble opinion.

The only good thing to come out of this was that he would get to sleep with his goddess. That wasn't new, per say, he had managed to convince them that he had needed you lest he do something dramatic. That wasn't a lie, not exactly, maybe just an exaggerated truth. Because he did need you. He needed you so badly. He needed to feel your plush skin against his and feel your chest rise and fall. Watch every breath you took.

That was just the way things were.

But he had no idea who these two fell into that equation.

"There are no sides, you feral primate."

If he wasn't in the presence of his Goddess, he would've thrown patchwork over there on his ass. Mark his words, he'd do it the first chance he got. That was a promise.

With a snarl, Sage raised a lip to bare his sharp canines, glowing down at Road rash. How he was ever allowed in your presence was beyond him, but you allowed it and he was not one to go against your word. Even if it ate away at him every second.

"You're right. Maybe you should just leave entirely. Take a long walk off a short cliff?" He offered, readjusting his hold on your hips. It was a bit of a feat, convincing you to let him in, using generous amounts of oil and extended periods of stretching to prep the virgin hole for him. But it was all worth it. It may not have compared to your dripping cunt, that was an entirely different feeling, euphoric in every way, but this had it's pros. This was untouched by anyone. And if it meant letting Knightly down there bust his load in the first two seconds to get him out of the way, then he was willing to put in the work.

Besides, it had gotten you to make an entirely new assortment of sounds that he loved hearing, feeling you clench in an entirely new way.

"Eat shit." Wild snarled back, threading his fingers into your hair. Your eyes, pleading and wide and wet with tears, looked up at him before falling downwards. Any noises you were capable of making were muffled as you masterfully swallowed around the cock in your mouth.

Sage gently brushed your hair back. "You're doing so well for me, sunshine." His eyes caught another pair, making him smirk cruelly. "Doing okay down there, prude?"

Below you was the newest addition, who didn't give an answer. He was too put together, with hair that was clean and trimmed and armor that shined almost as much as the Captain's, but he, in some capacity was them in a way. Which was probably the only reason Sage let either of them near what was his. Calamity, they had dubbed him, Cal for short, was beneath you, stuffed into your cunt as he suckled on your tit like a newborn babe. He seemed in pure bliss as his own eyes turned bloodshot, tears pearling in the corners of his eyes. Every move of Sage's hips that jostled you on Cal had the knight whimpering and crying out, curling in on himself and bringing you with him.

It was all a chain reaction.

Sage would thrust forward, fulfilling his own personal mission on carving his place in each and every one of your holes, and pushing you forward onto Wild's own cock. You would stutter, choke a bit before breathing through your nose as he pulled back just a bit. With the rock forward you would raise just the slightest off of Cal, making him gasp around whatever nipple has attention before Sage would pull you back onto his own, and consequently onto Cal. He would arch up into you, giving a particularly harsh suck and making you moan around Wild's cock.

It was all like clockwork.

And in a way, it was poetic. Every piece moving in sync to directly follow it's predecessor before flowing into the next. Like a well oiled machine, everything would click into place, complete the cycle, only to restart itself all over again and repeat the process.

His divinity was quite the sight to behold. Even as the smell of sex permeated the air and sweat dripped down the glorious curve of your back, he found himself licking his teeth, practically drooling above you. You were always a sight, even after he had thoroughly debauched your form. When your thighs were quivering, glistening in your own cum as he sat up from his feast. When you cried into the pillows and blankets as his hips crashed with yours. When you looked up at him through thick lashes, expression much to innocent for the sinful acts you would preform unto him. You were his favorite muse. His own little reward for the shit that good-for-nothing fake had him do.

And he would cherish you. Even when you insist he share and play nice with others.

With a grunt, he leaned down, tongue dragging alone your spine and up to one of your shoulder blades, coating the patch of skin he settled on in his own saliva before biting. Cooper flooded his sense, making him shudder as the consequences of his actions ricocheted around him. Your sudden gasp and orgasmic moan had Wild stilling, head falling back as his hips twitched. Cal stilled beneath you, arms snacking between Sage's own body and your own to pull you closer to him as he cried out around you.

But you, you were what made it so worth it. Your walls clenched and spasmed over and over again as your entire body shook. Your thighs tried clamping together to no avail as your back arched and quivered. Every part of you seemed to be in pure euphoria as pure lust drawled across your features.

He loved that look.

Letting a hand fall between your legs, he quickly used his middle and ring finger to press against your clit, making your twitches amplify before he was rubbing smooth circles into the nerves. Every roundabout had you crying a new sound as Wild pulled free. His hand quickly ran up and down his shaft as your head fell forward, noises no longer gagged by that good for nothing as they ran free in the air. Sage's hips never slowed, keeping their pace in time with his thrusts.

Your movements never stopped, even as Cal gathered his own bearings, shuffling his hips just the slightest. When he picked up a smooth tempo, you shattered.

And like a machine, it all feel into place. Your head fell back so you could look at Sage, drool shining your lips in a glorious gleam as nothing but pure, empty glee warped your features. The spasms around his cock never ceased before loosening just the slightest. A crash of something wet trailed down his thighs and painted Cal's own as burrowed as far as he could into your swollen cunt. The red lips were soon dripping a milky white as the knight's own whimpers were gagged around your breasts.

Streaks of white painted your cheeks and lips as Wild gently tilted your head back, thumb brushing against the curve of your jaw.

Sage's own hips stilled as deep as he could physically reach, pumping you full of everything he had to offer. Anything you wanted and it would be yours. You simply had to ask him.

A moment of silence fell over the trio, before Sage was grinning, unlatching from his place on your shoulder.

"Hope you two virgins aren't tapped out yet. I'm sure our goddess has a few more in her."

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

idk if we still sharin primate plushies but i bought this wild republic orang in a frenzy because he is the only orangutan plush i've seen with flanges!!! He finally arrived today and im so happy! His name is Jinga (Malay for Orange.. i think) (ps i am not choking him, i am holding gently like hamburger)

We are always taking submissions of y'all's plushies, art, photos from the zoo, etc!! ❤️ Love the flanges and him being held like a hamburger.

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

Look, it's everyone's favourite pirate primate!

'Tis the boy, Captain Captain, the captain (go figure) of his fearsome crew, the Swashbuckling Simians. He's simultaneously a really old OC, and a very new OC, considering they're based on a plush monkey I've had since I was a little kid. However, I don't got any lore for him just yet besides the fact that they're probably going to kill god (/j).

Also, gentle reminder that my commissions are open! Please commission me when you get the chance, or send me a few spare bucks using my PayPal or Ko-Fi. You can also buy some cool stuff on my Ko-Fi store, if you want a nice sticker or cute pin.

[shojimezolovemail]

May I please request platonic hcs (jackass) where neurodivergent!reader loves to infodump about their special interest and gets really happy and stims? Thank you! :)

(My special interest is primates and last week I got to see a Wooly Monkey AND a Golden-Cheeked Gibbon irl for the very first time - it was awesome! ASKSHSJS)

thank you so much for this request! sorry it’s taken me so long to get to it :”)

warnings: none!

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

johnny’s very supportive of anything you find interest in

you’re into primates? he’s amazed with the knowledge you have!

your hyperfixation is about something morbid? he’s dying to hear about it! (no pun intended)

he’s so impressed with how much you know and understand about these topics

johnny ends up passing on any information you give him to other people around him

which introduces more people asking you about your interests! how exciting

when you get super excited about a hyperfixation that you stim…johnny’s right there doing it with you

he’s an excitable person anyway so seeing you so happy just sets him off

STEVE-O

if you had an interest in animals in general, any information you share would be very beneficial during the filming of wildboyz

in fact, steve-o loves how your mind works so much that he essentially makes you apart of the wildboyz show to share facts and information

if anyone on the set tries to diminish anything you say, he’s on the defense immediately

“the fuck do you mean that my friend here doesn’t know what they’re talkin’ about?” “are you an all knowing god? no? exactly. let ‘em speak.”

if you get so excited to talk about something and you start stimming? he’s a little confused at first

“what’re you doing?” “oh, uh, i just got really excited. sorry.”

steve-o’s immediately assuring you that there’s no need to apologize

CHRIS PONTIUS

this other wildboy is immediately dragging you on any trio he takes for the show

he makes sure you’re as comfortable as possible don’t worry

you get nervous flying? he’s trying every remedy possible

chris lets you infodump at any moment in time by the way

he’s in the middle of a conversation with someone? he’s telling them to hold on so you can tel talk to him

he loves seeing you happily ramble and he’d hate to ever shoot that down

you have a specific interest in an animal? he’s buying you a plush of it anytime he sees one available

he’ll also always stim with you as well

he’s jumping and bouncing around with you

BAM MARGERA

this man basically has a hyperfix on HIM so he’s more than happy to embrace your interests

you could pour out the same information every time you spoke about it and he’d still be fascinated

even if it was something he’s not particularly interested in, he’s always very happy to hear you ramble

bam’s not very good at showing it though so there might be a need for some reassurance

if you ever get so excited that you stim, he probably won’t join in but more likely encourage it

he thinks it’s cute and will never stop you from it, no matter the place

you get excited to see an animal you enjoy out and about so you stim? incredible!

now, if someone says anything offhanded then he’s immediately on the defense

“the fuck is your problem? cant deal with a little excitement you fucking weirdo.”

then he’s being extra sweet to you so you know his change in temper wasn’t directed toward you

RYAN DUNN

ryan doesn’t quite understand the hyperfixation/special interest aspect but he’s supportive as long as you’re happy and safe

he’ll let you ramble as much as you’d like though

he loves seeing you happy

ryan will definitely engage with a lot of what you talk about too

“so… your favorite animal is really capable of all that? that’s pretty incredible.” or maybe a “i’m super impressed with your knowledge. you learn that all on your win too… i don’t think i could do that.”

the first time he sees you stim he’s very confused

doesn’t say anything about it just observes until you feel his stare and stop

“why’d you stop? you looked like you were havin’ fun.”

“you were looking at me weird, ry.”

“oh…sorry about that. didn’t know what you were doing.”

he’ll get you right back into a happy mood though don’t worry

DANGER EHREN

ehren’s another person who will engage in your interest

he’s always asking questions or trying to relate with information he knows about the topic

even if he doesn’t know much, he’s always trying rest assured

if it’s with animals or one specifically, he’s definitely giving you little doodles of them whenever he sees you

it’s not even that he’s artistically gifted, he just loves seeing you smile

when you stim, he asks questions about it

“so, you do that when you’re really happy?”

“mhm! it helps me get all my jitters out.”

ehren’s then stimming with you every so often because he sees how helpful it is

you start stimming halfway through talking about your interest and he grins a little

it’s very nice for him to see someone be so authentically themself

DAVE ENGLAND

another man who’s confused at first

he asks questions about the degrees of your interests though to better understand

“you like this one thing a whole bunch, right? so you like things a normal amount but then there are specifics that you like the most?”

“yes! it can change sometimes though. it really depends.”

dave’s always trying to tell you fun facts he learns about your interest so you feel like you can relate to someone

you might already know what he’s saying but it’s another excuse to talk more about it and he’s okay with that

he loves seeing you excited to tell him anything and everything he could wonder about

dave also fact checks with you if he talks about your interests, you’re an all knowing person on the topic in his eyes

him seeing you stim probably came from dave gifting you a book dedicated to your interest honestly

he thought it’d be a nice surprise but now you’re vibrating

dave joins it because he figures you’re just super excited

[dracononite]

What's your favorite type of furries to draw? Like body type or style or animal they're based on?

Dragons definitely, especially soft round or fluffy ones!! But I also really like drawing scales. Reptilian kaiju / monster-like designs too when they're not too complicated. There's a creative freedom to dragons that makes them stress-free and fun, cause anything can be a dragon

I love drawing softer or chubby characters, but I also love broad shouldered designs... and also toy/plush characters cause the ones that have floppy/weighted limbs are so cute..

Other species I really love drawing are bats, floppy eared canines, African wild dogs, long-tailed primates, orcas & porpoises, kangaroos, sphynx cats, thylacines, otters, parasaurs!

[jellycatstuffies]

Huge Pongo Orangutan

Ko-fi / Instagram

[robbyrobinson]

Star Lasso Experience Incident from a POV

You are invited to attend an absolute spectacle. Come on down to Jupiter’s Claim home of the one and only Kid Sheriff himself Ricky “Jupe” Park.

You look at the pamphlet with contemplation. The name sounded familiar to you, but your memory was foggy, a total blur at worst. Pondering on it more, memories of years past began to rush in. Skimming through the pamphlet and catching a gander of Jupe when he was a boy, it all became crystal clear. Ricky used to be a child star. Emphasis on “used to be.” He had a slew of roles namely as the young Kid Sheriff, but it all ended in disaster.

In 1998, Ricky starred as a young boy named Mikey Houston in the short-lived television Gordy’s Home. It was apparently about a family adopting a space chimpanzee due to the matriarch of the family being an astronaut. Ricky befriended the ape and they would initiate the iconic exploding fist bump. But it ended in tragedy when a chimp actor savagely attacked the cast and crew after being alerted by the loud sound of balloons popping. Two actors were viciously torn apart by “Gordy” while the one playing the older sister was mauled with her face literally being bitten off by the raging primate.

Ricky survived because of hiding underneath the table, but Gordy was shot on-site. After the massacre, Ricky was never able to find any other potential roles a mixture of his growing older and his PTSD. You never would have anticipated that he would try to bounce back after all that nightmare fuel.

Reading the pamphlet, Jupiter’s Claim was hugely based on his role as the gun-slinging sheriff and one of his biggest events was something he called the Star Lasso Experience. Sure, it seemed to be breaking genres by suggesting a science fiction aesthetic, but he seemed to be proud of himself. And you could not deny that it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Against your better judgment, you decide to attend it.

You couldn’t help but compliment Ricky on the western atmosphere of the amusement park. In the center of the park was a wide well. But instead of water sloshing at the bottom, the well was devised to be an analog camera with which you can take pictures of yourself and your family with. You would need to use jangles to access it that being Ricky’s euphemism for money.

The more you walk through the carnival, you realize that the place was livelier than anticipated. Some had come from outside of Agua Dulce, outside of the state of California even, to see what the former kid sheriff was promising to be an absolute spectacle. The hired staff wore western-themed attire...except for Ricky’s three sons. They wore what could be considered a conglomeration of an ape and the stereotypical grey alien. Upon further inspection, it dawned on you that they were designed specifically after Gordy. It is unsettling that Ricky was exploiting that incident for publicity.

Pretty soon after the guests were finishing up soaking in all their surroundings, the automated speaker droned to life ushering you and the rest of the paying customers to take part in the now-opened Star Lasso Experience. There were at least 40 people in attendance. A family of five stood in the front seats wearing cowboy hats with the father wearing a Universal Monsters shirt. A little further up there was a woman situated. Her face was shrouded under a pink veil and instead of sitting in one of the seats, she was instead parked in a wheelchair. The poor woman must have been through a lot.

Alien merchandise decorated the walls with a sign detailing your alien experience. Ricky was really banking on whatever this was. The slushie machines whirled their frozen treats endlessly as Ricky walked in the front to direct everyone’s attention to him. Little plush aliens were arranged and placed in the full front with the intention of the young kids stocking up on them. Ricky moved in a rigid, unorderly fashion clearly uncomfortable with the audience’s prying eyes. He stood in front of a rectangular object covered by a rag. One look at his wife, the former child star inhales sharply and exhales the air from his lungs. He did this a few times until he felt confident.

He welcomed all the attendants for coming and briefly provided special thanks to an old crush of his during the run of Gordy’s Home, Mary Jo Elliott. It completely recontextualizes you spotting that woman with the pink veil over her face. Mary survived the massacre but her face was destroyed. Thinking about it, it made sense now that she and the shrouded woman were the same since she proudly wore a shirt that had her younger self plastered on it. The poor thing never acted again after the incident. It sickened you that Ricky was exploiting her like some freakshow. Hell, you even heard rumors of people staying in a room at his personal museum that was dedicated completely to Gordy’s Home.

“What if I told you in about an hour, you’ll leave here different?”

He paused for a dramatic response. After allowing the audience to soak in his rhetorical question, he continued.

“See, every Friday in the last 6 months, my family and I have borne witness to an absolute spectacle. One that you’ll be seeing here today.”

He explained that at 6:13, he was being surveilled by an alien species he nicknamed the “Viewers.” A totally uncreative name, but you roll with it. He goes to the rectangular structure and unfurls the rags. It was a glass cage and in it was a sole horse. Wait ...it can’t be that he is trying to offer it to these alien beings he was gushing about? How messed up was Ricky’s mind ever since narrowly surviving the chimpanzee attack?

Ricky smiled with renewed vigor. “But first, my boys are going to perform a show for you all if that is alright.”

With that, the boys start to kick off their presentation. All was well with you passively watching the performance feeling something was bound to go horribly wrong. From the sky, a stream of colored flags appeared to float in the air with no support. The flags flowed down from a cloud a bad omen.

While Ricky was looking away out of anticipation of the success of his pet project, he abruptly squared in on the cloud. His eyes widened in bewilderment. Whatever it was, it was not part of Ricky’s script. A menacing growl thundered from the cloud rather than lightning. His reinvigorated confidence was immediately stripped away exposing his tendency to be a stammering mess. He turned his stare to the crowd.

“Um...stay in your seats. This is new.”

From the cloud, a round shadow drifts out of its hiding place. The flags fluttered in the wind underneath a spacecraft. Ricky’s wife, Amber, managed to break the ice by explaining it was still part of the show. On instinct, Ricky tries to goad the horse to leave the glass cage, but the stubborn animal refused to leave. Next, Ricky’s audio was interrupted. Electricity fluctuated in the presence of the UFO with the ICEE slushie machines malfunctioning and coming to a halt.

And there it was, a large spaceship hovering over the park. Ricky was right about this being an absolute spectacle after all. Roars echoed from the ship indicating some anguish within it. The crowd, completely mesmerized by the sight before them, stared up at the craft. Your gut was on high alert. You have heard of the urban myth of turkeys drowning themselves in the rain; Ricky had already planted the seeds of doubt that he had any control over the Viewers. But you were one of the few people who could dare say that you saw a UFO up close and personal.

So, you join the crowd in staring at the UFO. A dreadful mistake.

You were fully expecting to be abducted by the craft but no tractor beams ever manifested. Whirlwinds surge into volatile tornadoes blasting off pieces of Ricky’s sign and destroying his merchandise in the UFO’s fit of rage. The crowd of people, finally free from their enchantment, start to scream out for each other as they are cast drifting in the gusts of wind. You try to hold onto some of the freeborn debris for leverage, but the UFO’s powerful suction breaks your grasp and you are sent flying deeper, deeper inside of the UFO.

This must have been how dust felt when it is sucked into a vacuum cleaner you thought. Flying past its “maw,” you were surrounded by an inflatable, balloon-like substance the wind bouncing on its walls. The wind whistled in your wind sounding like seven hundred freight trains colliding at once. The other attendants shrieked in panic with some attempting to grab each other to slow their progression.

Deeper and deeper still, you were aimlessly flailing around in the wind storm until you approached a square room for a brief moment looking like a fleshy compartment with the wind rushing. You fell into the “core” of the UFO, a tight, air-stifling chasm. The tract resembled the blueprints of an inflatable funhouse but instead of people happily bouncing around and having a good time, they screamed in horror.

You could appreciate that the pitch blackness was gone for now with it being lit in orange lights. You were sandwiched between two young adults who attempted to wiggle their way to safety but a greenish substance secreted from the walls made your skin tingle. The person in front of you became coated by the green ooze before being pumped even deeper inside of the craft. The walls shifted and contracted around you the screams rebounding off the squelching rings of muscle.

It dawned on you far too late that the spacecraft was actually not a mechanical contraption being piloted by aliens.

It was alive.

You join the others in screaming out for God or anyone to save you. The shrill shrieks reverberated from the territorial predator’s stomach as it sailed back into the cloudy sky.

[adventuresafarinetwork]

A Guide to Unforgettable African Safari Tours with Adventure Safari Network

Africa, the cradle of humanity and a land brimming with untamed beauty, beckons the adventurous soul.  For those yearning to witness the raw power of nature and encounter iconic wildlife in their natural habitat, an African safari tour stands as the ultimate travel experience.  Adventure Safari Network, your gateway to unforgettable adventures, is here to guide you through the captivating world of African safaris.

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Adventure Awaits:

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Our African safari tours extend beyond the realm of wildlife encounters.  Immerse yourself in the rich cultural tapestry of Africa.  Visit local villages and interact with warm and welcoming communities, learning about their traditions and way of life.  Engage in a conversation with a Maasai warrior, adorned in colorful attire and steeped in a rich cultural heritage.  Explore ancient ruins and historical sites, unraveling the fascinating stories of Africa's past.

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Memories that Last a Lifetime:

An African safari tour with Adventure Safari Network is more than just a vacation; it's an unforgettable journey of discovery.  It's the thrill of encountering a pride of lions lazing in the morning sun, the awe of witnessing a breathtaking African sunset, and the heartwarming experience of connecting with the land and its people.  We invite you to embark on this transformative journey and create memories that will last a lifetime.

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For more information, contact the following number: (815)222-2824 You can also e-mail us: info@AdventureSafariNetwork.com

Visit our website at www.adventuresafarinetwork.com/

[iwtv]

me: *browsing jellycat for primate plushes*

all of the primate plushes already on my bed: