#point to where i said anything that warranted months of gossip about me shipping something i never said anything about shipping

[adamsvanrhijn]

kind of weird honestly for people to get offended by. imagining i gave up on and was pleased by the canonical break up of a ship that literally saved my life to the point of going through the five stages of fucking grief about it without ever bothering to check if anything i said actually matched what people were telling you it said or like. you know. asking me about it directly

[xcodyxfernx]

Incoming long post

I have been here for around five months and in that time I have been constantly bombarded with anons ranging from the obscure to the vile. At certain points I have taken myself away from the group  for mental health breaks as daily hate is not something I have ever had to deal with before. I’m unsure if the person hates Cody or just hates me, but either way they have affect the way I play Cody and who I interact with especially @jonathan-d-groff

As you are all aware Cody and Jon had a fling, both of which have now moved on,( I have clarified with the player that everything between Cody and Jon was ic and they agreed I can post this conversation if required) yet Cody still gets abuse for it every time my anon on, is has got to the point where even interacting with Jon by liking a photo  or replying to a tweet warrants abuse from anon.  When people send gossip in about Cody to the gossip blog it then sets off another stream of hate and when I switch off my anon with Cody, they start sending me hate on Vanessa. That is not what I signed up for. I came here because I wanted to have an enjoyable rp experience. That’s not what it has turned out to be. Whoever the anon is...I cannot fathom why you feel the need to be so offensive. Calling Cody the F word is a slur. Hoping he will die of Aids is gross and uncalled for. I have posted the last six I have received here and I still have around 18 in my inbox which I can create a post of a link to all of them if you want to see them but  they do repeat a lot. The moment you started telling me to kill myself is the moment I decided enough is enough. Here are the last six I have received today. Please be warned they are vile. Pay attention to the last anon and then conversation which was “ accidently sent to me.”

As if that wasn't enough, it seems certain players find it funny to talk about me to other people  behind my back and “accidently” send it to me. 

@brendonisms

Cody has never said he was gay irl. He said he has played a gay man. He has also played a asexual man and he has played a straight man. In real life Cody fern is in a happy relationship with Eric Smith, however he has mentioned that he is in fact pansexual as he doesn't see gender, so “sorry”... your opinion is wrong. He also comments on his friends posts with “bisexual panic” ( I can post the links to that if you would like me too) which is why I asked in my anything else part of my app for him to be bisexual, this way it gives me much more scope of possible ships with male and female characters. I don't think you found it a little confusing, I feel you were talking about behind my back and sent the message to the wrong person and I’m sure I know who it was meant to be sent to so I am calling you out.  At least own your mistake. My name is Kit not she. Since I have been a fan of Cody’s for a long time (since he acted in the last time I saw Richard movie),I know he is a very private person, I know that he finds his female co star from Eden attractive ( he said so on her instagram,  he has never on repeat said he is gay. At his last pride he wore his pansexuality bracelet and when someone asked him about his life he has  explained that he is a fluid person who doesn't like to be categorised. Hope that clears it up for you  and I hope you learn not to talk about people behind their back as its rude.

On that note it is safe to say that there is a undercurrent of ooc drama which is played off as Ic drama and that is something I refuse to take part in. the other group I am in has seen what I have been through and find it disgusting. So I will be going over there now and rping  with people who would rather pull you up then tear you down.  There is a big difference between ic drama and hate and pretending to be ic when you are actually saying things ooc is pretty pathetic. Last thing to say is..  To the lovely people such as @efronzda and @madz-petschtt and others who I have enjoyed rping with, I do have a a personal tumblr account here if you ever need me :)  thats it. People called out for being fake and anons being shown the door all thats left for me to say is

P.s there was also an anon which stated that @jonathan-d-groff​ and @brendonisms​ were going to make me quit. fyi you didn't make  me quit, I just found somewhere better. I could have said a lot more but this is a hell of a lot. BYE! 

[kinsbin]

Meetings with The Devil

Title: Meetings with The Devil Ship: Alexys/Negan [Self Insert/Canon] Word Count: 2148 Summary: Alexys is settling into her life as part of the Alexandria settlement. After the war and with Negan’s capture, things slowly return to normal. That is, until Carl approaches her with an offer for a job he’s confident she can do. That job being caring for a certain prisoner of war under Rick’s watchful eye.

A/N: A fourth commission for @bad-blue-moon-rising! More her and Negan because, uhhhhh, otp much?

Rumors circulated like wildfire in Alexandria. The small community often found ways to trade secrets, each whisper returning to its owner like an ouroborus of knowledge as they were fed through the ears of several different survivors at once. If you closed your eyes and listened close enough to the otherwise quiet town, you could hear those murmurs of endless gossip floating up into the air like helium-filled balloons that popped only when they reached the atmosphere, scattering its contents down and back to where it started. That rain was like a drug to human beings as they fed off of every word exchanged. Every breath of knowledge offered in exchange for other knowledge or favors or something more.

Alexys disliked playing a part in it. Though she often listened in on the idle gossip spoken between ladies at the laundry facility or gentlemen along the border patrol, she never joined in. She never contributed to the words. It made her unpopular amongst those doing the gossiping, certainly, but they never tried to stop her. It was always as if they wanted her to hear it all, which, wouldn’t quite surprise her. After all, what was the point of gossip but to be heard? It was a parasite in all societies. A bug in a machine.

But oh-so interesting nonetheless.

“Did you hear about that Negan guy?”

Alexys paused in her thoughts to listen in on the couple at her side, their heads tucked closely to one another but their words all too loud to be secret as they shouted between words as the hub-ub of the market scattered like working ants around them.

“Oh man, yeah,” the other whispered back in awe, “Grimes captured him right? Threw him in jail and everything.”

“Yep,” The second of the two stuck up their nose in a haughty fashion, “If you ask me, though, he should have killed him. Man like that...he’s dangerous still existing even after he’s beaten. Never know when he could try to break out.”

“Grimes is an ex-cop. There’s no way that guy could break out of anything he makes or enforces.”

“You’re saying that as if being a cop in the past means anything now. The world’s changed, man, and so have our meanings. It’s crazy.”

“Oh speaking of crazy, I heard-”

The gossip faded into something insubstantial that Alexys easily faded out of her mind, her lips caught against her teeth as she chewed thoughtfully, mulling over the words she had just heard. They had won the war with the man named Negan and, truth be told, she was grateful that Rick was able to keep him alive instead of kill him off. As much as others wanted it, certainly, there had been enough bloodshed throughout the war. Enough of it was spent without mercy to warrant some at the end of it all. Even the enemy side, after all, had their own views, no matter how different it was from their own. That was how the world worked. That was how people worked.

“Alexys!”

She stopped in her movements at the familiar voice that shattered her mind. Her head turned, strands of hair messing themselves awkwardly in the wind as she did so. Carl waved at her casually, his smile easy on his mouth but never fully reaching his eyes. It always hurt her to see him force it on himself like that, but, she understood why he did so. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t do it herself once in a while. It was part of the reason why they had bonded so well, she supposed as she painted her own smile on her face and turned to greet him, they both knew what people expected them to be in the midst of their own thoughts.

“Hey Carl,” She spoke softly, “I heard your dad has that Negan guy. Is he doing alright after all of it?”

Carl gave a nod, his head tilting as he considered his next words for her. Eventually it gave way to him shrugging it off with a statement of, “He’s doing okay, he’s got a lot of rebuilding to do though...we all do.”

“I’m sure he does,” Alexys sighed, “If there’s anything I can do to help the both of you, even if it’s just for you to talk to, I’m here, you know that right Carl?”

There was a haphazard nod at her, but, then a light seemed to strike itself on in Carl’s head. A match that flickered briefly in the wind before riling itself up into a forest fire as his head snapped towards her, his single eye wide as he watched her carefully for a few seconds. The gaze was so intense and so similar to his father’s own hardened stare that she had no doubts that it was hereditary.

“Actually…” Carl bit his lip for a moment as he figured out how to word it, “...There might be something you can help us with.”

---

Alexys stood in the doorway to the prison quarters, fingers fidgeting against themselves as she watched the walls of the silent doorways loom before her like a ghost. Carl had brought her with him, explaining his plan in quick succession so that she could barely keep up. Something about being trustworthy. Of being kind. Of being loyal so that his father, the LEADER of the place you were currently living in, would have no reason to doubt her or him...to do what, exactly? That’s what had startled her.

“You want me to take care of Negan?”

“Well,” Rick cleared his throat as he approached Alexys with his son, “That’s a pretty broad term. It’s more...I want you to make sure he’s fed. Make sure he’s still there. Check in. Don’t worry, we’re giving you a few small self defense weapons and we’ll have a guard outside at all times, in case anything happens-” He paused for a moment, as if trying to recall anything else that might be important for her to note, before nodding slowly, “...My son trusts you, Alexys. He’s told me good things about you and...Frankly, I don’t have the time to do this. You’re welcome to back out, I’ll understand...I just wanted to see how good his word was here.”

There was a pause as she considered, each word he spoke careful as he offered out a tray she hadn’t noticed him carrying before, a simple ration of bread and meats and a glass of water hanging in it as tense as the conversation. She stared down, blue eyes wide with realization at the duty she had been given. To take care of a prisoner of war...To help the community who had rescued her…

Alexys took the tray with a slow nod of agreement.

“I’ll do my best, Rick.”

---

He sat in the corner of the room, the shadow of the bars around the windows casting themselves over his face as he listened to the sound of the door opening, then closing, and then footsteps. They were slow, almost scared in their approach...They weren’t Rick’s, that was for certain. Still bloodied hands clutched tightly together, Negan didn’t open his eyes until he felt the presence of the other at his side. Until the sound of the footsteps faded away as they halted.

His gaze lifted up, dark eyes meeting lighter, doe ones as he held Alexys in his sights. The silence around them was thickening for a moment, the air heavy with tension as they regarded one another with completely different auras around them. Negan watched with interest, but with heaviness. A weight on his shoulders seemed to press him into his slump as he watched her the way a wolf might a prey that had come all too close to its cage bars. Alexys was cautious as she moved, her own body tense as she approached and tilted her head, watching him as she stayed quiet...simply observing.

“Well,” Negan finally spoke with a twist of his lips into a half-smile, “You certainly ain’t Rick, now are you? Nah, you’re way too pretty be him...”

The chuff of laughter that escaped Alexys, accompanied with the blush his words brought upon her, only made Negan chuckle in response as she bit her cheek thoughtfully, as if hiding the smile behind it would somehow help.

“Good to see you too,” She retorted smugly, “I’m, uh, I’m Alexys.”

With that she set the tray down on the bedside table nearest to him. Negan turned to face her, tilting his head to observe all of her at once before nodding his thanks and reaching out to take some of the food into his hands. When he held the bread, he turned it to either side as if observing it. Alexys stood, nervously, and watched.

“Why did Rick send a girl like you,” He pointed at her with his bread before returning it to himself, “-to watch a guy like me, I wonder…”

“Oh,” Alexys felt her hands touch one another, “I was just an option and…”

“You don’t know, huh?”

She flushed and rubbed the back of her head, a shrug producing itself against her shoulders. Negan bit into his bread with a nod, unable to hide the smile that had begun to spread itself on his lips as he laughed through the mouthful.

“You know, sometimes I think shit is better that way. Who cares what you know, just go with your gut through the situation. Instinct is an important thing, Alexys.”

“Only sometimes,” She muttered with a gentle shrug, “Anyways...I…”

And he waved at her with a nod.

“Thanks for the bread.”

---

Two months into the process had brought about nothing dangerous, merely a sense of comfort in the routine of getting up at the same time each morning to delivery Negan breakfast upon Rick’s request, going about her day as she usually would, and then returning at the prompt time to give him dinner as well. Negan, for all intense and purposes, was not the man she was sure she had heard about.

Certainly he was rough, his words blunt and sharp as he spoke them with an easy smile and hardened belief, but...She could describe him as funny in a way. Sweet in that he always asked her how her day went before taking a bite of his food. Short answers to deter him soon turned into long and genuine descriptions of her activities. Of gossip she had heard and of animals she had seen just outside the borders of Alexandria. A short minute spent watching him and making sure he started to eat shifted to a half an hour of them discussing things. Discussing themselves, the words of conversation flowing easily between one another the longer they had grown more comfortable in each other’s presence.

It was on the third month it had slipped out.

“The trees in our orchard are growing well,” Alexys spoke as she leaned against the wall while Negan began to chew into his dinner, leaning on his bed to listen to her speak about the progress of the orchard she had become fond of helping to take care of, a single activity outside of her home she usually spent time in, “They’ll be bearing fruit soon! Next time we go out, I’ll show you where they are and-”

She stopped speaking as he had stopped chewing, her face showing the mortified look of someone who had just registered what they had said. Negan, too, was startled. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open, a blush warming his cheeks as the two of them stared together in the now awkward silence of the room.

He smiled though.

“Asking me out on a date so soon?”

“I’m so sorry,” Alexys sputtered out, “I didn’t mean to-wait. Date?”

Negan couldn’t hold back his laugh as she covered her face, blush clear on her cheeks as she looked away from him and waved him off with a huff of shock echoing as her only response. Negan stood, setting his bread to the side and touching at Alexys’ shoulder. She relaxed a bit, eyes widening as she looked up at Negan, who tilted his head with a softer smile.

“Sure,” He laughed, “How about when I get out of here? I think I’d like to see those trees you grew when that time comes.”

She doubted Rick would ever let it come. She doubted anyone would trust him enough to be free anytime soon. Still, with that smile of his and that dorky laugh still echoing in her head, Alexys grinned back and nodded with her own chuckle, reaching out to pat at the hand on her shoulder as she sighed.

“It’s a date, then.”

Maybe, she hoped quietly, it’d come sooner rather than later.