#posting this now because of that zendaya movie that was kind of the last straw..... LIKE 2 OF THEM?

[robotpussy]

anyways there really is too much interracial couples with white ppl propaganda going on rn cause I've been seeing white ppl left and right for MONTHS claim any black person either critiquing the abundance of this existing in media rn because it is not only a marketing ploy in some cases, they have to include white people because of the thing white people do where they force themselves to see themselves in anything they watch (which explains why they turn away from things that don't have a white lead because "they cant relate", or they have to change a character that isn't white to be more appealing to them in fandom)

but it is also done so white people can feel better about themselves by making themselves believe they are not complacent in white supremacy because they have a black partner or simply because ppl don't want to ship a black character with a white one (this month its been about spiderverse obvs) because they simply don't want to or because in the comics a certain character has a black partner are just a bad as racists like WOAH who gave you the authority to speak on shit like this?

[social-holland]

Hate

Pairing: Zendaya  x Female! Reader

Warning: Angst, Angst, Angst with a little bit of fluff.

Summary:  Hate comments is what you receive daily being the girlfriend of Zendaya, what happens when one day Z replys to it  and you can’t hold back anymore.

Word count: 1797

A/N: I’m so awful and this is so late. I’m sorry, Jess! This is for @underoosbws 3k celebration! Please check her out, her writing is amazing. Especially Untitled!

My prompt btw was: “You’re my boyfriend/girlfriend, I shouldn’t be trying this hard to get your attention.”

To say that Zendaya’s and your relationship was on a rough patch was one of the most understatements of the year. What once was one of the best, if not the best, relationship you ever had turned to heartache in just a few months.

There was not one single problem that made it that way it was now. Just different things that tend to pop up with even worse timing. Turning this things into arguments and every so often even full on fights.

But these arguments and fights were starting to take a toll on you. You disliked fights. Always had and always will.

Why making a big scene, yell and throw things at your loved one when you might as well could solve it with a discussion and a good compromise for both sides?

Sometimes even sacrifice your own happiness to make you significant other happy. That’s what you wanted. Make Zendaya happy and give her everything you could.

All the yelling and arguing and crying tired you out. Adding extreme fan hate on different social media platform and you crumbling self-doubt and mental health problems and you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

At this point you were barely making it out of bed to go to university or your job every day. Trying your best. Your days consisted of getting up, trying to make yourself look at least presentable and making your way to class. Trying to follow the best you could to follow the lectures, every so often looking for a sign from Z.

Catching up with friends, trying not to show them in what kind of state you were. You didn’t want to talk with anyone about it. This was your relationship and even through this were your friends…Z and you were still public. And the public did not like that or better you at all.

On a daily basis you get comments from strangers on how Zendaya’s girlfriend was not good enough for her. That their Queen needed someone better at her side and why should would go out with someone like you. Someone without a career, not being pretty enough or other stuff people liked to call the person next to Z.

She didn’t seem to see it. At least that’s what you assumed until one morning. Z had just come back from filming the new Spiderman movie and you had been separated for a long time since you were not able to fly out.

As a celebration to welcome her back Z, her family, a few friends and you went for a nice dinner the night before. Originally planned as the two of celebrating her birthday belated together, it turned out that she had invited a few more people.

Usually that would have not bother you. You loved her family and her friends plus you wanted her to be happy. But having gone through all the things the last few months, it all in all you were upset over it.

Not wanting to ruin the celebration, you sucked it up and tried to be happy for her. The key word was tried. It turned out that you didn’t get to spend a minute with her until both of you arrived back at home.

You didn’t wait up that night and went straight to bed. At this point you were ready to just cry. You felt ridiculous of being this way. You really should talk to her and that’s what you planned to do the next morning.

A good and comforting talk to get the differences out of the way.  At least that’s what you believed until you woke up the next morning and she was not there. Probably already awake and planning something. You turned around to your bedside table to reach for your phone.

When you opened twitter, the usual hate strolled your way. That was at least until you saw Z replying to one of them. It was a single word which make you take off.

LOL

Just one word, not even a word.

You got out of bed and dressed. This was the final straw. You just had to talk to her. Ultimately deciding that it would be better to have a least a little bit of something in your stomach before calling her.

As you made her way down to the kitchen, you see her sitting on a loveseat in the living room. Every word you had prepared in your head disappeared, months of being unhappy and not satisfied with anything collided at her as you spoke.

“What the hell, Zendaya?”

She finally looked at you and flinched at what she saw. Y/N was standing behind the coach. Her eyes were glazed. She was shaking, her right hand put into a fist. Nails pressing into her flesh. Hurting herself. In the left hand was her phone pressed.

That’s when Z saw how broken her girlfriend appeared. The backs under her eyes were evident. You were drained, and she had never seen you like that. It shocked her to say the least. You are her everything and how could she not recognize that something seemed off with you.

Your red eyes started to tear. Zendaya stood up from her place, wanting you close, to hug you. But you were having none of it. You took a step back, hugging your waist.

“Why would you do that?” Her eyes brows furrowed. “Do what?” She was honestly confused over what you were referring, too. A sob escaped you. “Why would you support a hater?”

Her eyebrows furrowed over your comments. She was confused about what you were talking. As well as over your state of being. She knew that you seemed off the last night as well as the past two months, but your comment baffled her.

“What are you talking about, love?” She takes one of your hands into her. Caressing it and taking you with her to sit on the loveseat.

You focus on your lap. Her hands still holding yours as you start to speak. “T-The tweet y-you posted. Why w-would you do that.” Tears starting to escape from your eyes as you hold your phone to her. Showing what you referring to.

She takes it. The confused look returns as she scrolls over it. As Zendaya goes through it, you just start to ramble at her. You couldn’t stop yourself and it needed to get out, now.

“I do understand that there is a lot for you to take care of and what comes with being famous. But you’re my girlfriend, I shouldn’t be trying this hard to get your attention. This hate is too much, and I feel like I can’t keep up with you anymore. I want you to be happy, I-I really d-do. It starts to feel like that I’m just not good enough anymore and I don’t know how to fix it.”

At this point you lost it. Sobbing like hell and not able to stop it. Zendaya put your phone away before slinging her arms around you. Holding you with your head pressed into her neck. Your arms slung around her waist as well. Making fists with her T-shirt.

She didn’t say anything for a while just letting you cry.

Eventually as you start to tire yourself out, the sobs subsiding, she starts to talk. “Love, first of all…” You press your eyes shut, not ready for what about to come. You try to back away from her but she is strongly holding you. “You are good enough.”

A breath escapes you. That’s when Zendaya leans back and takes your face in your hands, cupping your cheeks. “You. Are. Good. Enough.” She speaks again. “I’m sorry that I made you feel this way.” You are fast to interrupt her. “This is not your fault. I’m s..”

“Don’t you even dare to say that.” She presses her forehead against yours. “I know that we on a rough patch lately. It thought my tweet would help but you probably didn’t even read the rest of it.” Her voice was soft, and her hands were trying to comfort you while going through your hair, playing with it. Her eyes carefully watching you.

Your eyebrows were furrowed at her answer. “What are you talking about?”

She leaned back from you and took your phone before scrolling for a moment and placing it in your hand. A second tweet right under the first one she had send appearing.

Funny of you to assume that my girlfriend is not gorgeous. She truly is amazing and I love her. Attached to it was a picture of both of you, celebrating your birthday last year. Both having huge smiles on your faces and hugging each other. You knew it was her favourite picture.

You felt like honestly throwing your head against the wall. So stupid.

Placing the phone back on the table, you placed your elbows on your knees and let your head falls into your hands. You felt embarrassed to say the least.

“Don’t.” Z whispered to you. She put one arm around your back before placing her head on her shoulder. “I’m so stupid” You whispered. Your hands pressed against your face, voice sounding muffled.

“Y/N/N, you are not stupid. Guessing from what you said earlier this has been happening for a while. What didn’t you say something?” She questioned you. Always in a soft tone and, stroking your back.

“B-Because this are your fans and they are important. I wanted you to be happy.” She signed over your words. “People like this are not my fans, love. Fans support, not hate. And how in the world can I be happy, if you are not?”

“Don’t know.” You whispered which made her laugh. “Exactly.” Zendaya took one of your hands, giving it a kiss.

“Could you at least look at me, please? I want to see your pretty face.” She begged. “It’s not. There is snot and tears.” You answered, now looking at her.

She took your face in her hands, cupping your cheeks. “Still as beautiful as ever.” You could see Z’s eyes twinkling for a bit before she pressed a chaste kiss against your lips and tip of your nose.

Your arms, still around her waist, pressed her closer against you. Inhaling her sweet scent. “I’m sorry for accusing you of not supporting me.” You whispered.

Z hugged you back. “It’s okay.”

You knew it was. And everything would be better than okay eventually. There is a huge pile that you both needed to work on to go through this patch, but you would. Because you both, all in all, you loved each other. And when you truly love someone, you do every little thing in your power to let that relationship thrive.

Thank you for reading. Please, tell me what you liked/disliked about it. :)

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