#prob bc my bday is 8/8 but idk i just think 8 is an awesome number

[devilskniife]

mutuals i'm curious, do you all have a lucky number? like when it comes up anywhere in your day to day you're just like :D mine's 8 :o)

[bcydbeaulieu]

for @kahlilravishans, my wife’s, bday || part 8 of 8

ok so this is it… the end. this was going to be second but i thought why not end with this. this is where it is going to get a bit emotional… so if you don’t want to hear all the gay that i am about to say then just look at the pretty edit. emily you are not allowed to skip this so buckle up babe… because you know how i can get when i decide i want to gift you some words… ok here we go!

ok so funny story… i wasn’t gonna start out this way but i was going through the early days of our tag and well i wished you a happy bday a year ago.. specifically while you were trying to get through interludes. so can you believe its been a fucking year since icos and our 12 hours skype sessions. those were the days were our relationship grew from “still had some chill” to “are you sure you two aren’t dating” so damn that book series. but seriously just needed to point that out. now here comes my incoherent babbling about how much i love you and how much you really mean to me. 

so, i’m pretty sure everyone knows the story of how me and emily met. god knows we talk about it enough. but it wouldn’t be an emotional emily and laura post if i don’t mention it so lol. i remember it, that february day, oh god. so she idk follows me or finds my blog and at the time i had a neil url and she just starts yelling at me on the chat. that stupid fucking messaging system. and of course i just start screaming back. and in the back of my mind i’m thinking how do i get this nerd girl to keep talking to me about our foxes and really i didn’t have to do much bc we exchanged numbers (she made me get a whatsapp) the next hour. and guys look.. i didn’t do this type of stuff before. i randomly talked to people and the only person i kept in contact with was my irlbff. so emily was not a normal occurrence. but anyways she asked if she could call and my heart was like beating out of my chest cause omfg what the fuck but of course i said yes and that’s how i find myself outside mid day on a february in texas walking around my front yard, my backyard, and yelling about literally everything we had in common at the time. 

now, i thought this girl is awesome and every part of me wanted to keep talking to her but i just knew that we’d talk for a month a few at max and then you know that thing would happen where you just lost connection, even tho i felt like i had just found like part of my soul. 

not what happened. the next week or couple of weeks we had our first skype session.. it lasted 6 hours yall. like who does that with someone they just met. fast forward to late august of 2016 and there we are getting into icos against our better judgement and there its kind of history. with our 12 hour skype sessions. and us eating dinner and breakfast together on opposite ends of the world and in complete different timezones. and i don’t know if something just clicked then cause we were already too close for our situation. but after that it was like i knew that this wasn’t some fluke this was real. and i HAD found a part of my soul. and god that’s cheesy but it’s fucking true. i’d run to the end of the world for this girl. and i’d do it multiple times. 

so that’s part of the story i guess. but i’m not done talking and emily i’m sorry babe but you know how i get i’m gonna write some more here so really buckle up. 

when i say i love you emily, i truly mean it with every part of me. i’ve never had a relationship like i have with you and the ones i had that came close don’t even touch to what we have. you’re so much more than my best friend and i don’t have a word for it and i don’t think words could justify it. but you keep my world spinning sometimes and then others you can make it stop. you are my rock when i need someone to ground me. you are the light in my life when i can’t seem to even get one positive thought in my mind. you support me through everything that i do and truly believe that i can be great at my career and in life in general. and i don’t know where i would be without you. 

you’re a good listener. you give great advice. and sometimes you just help me to stop thinking. you do so much for me and i hope that on the flipside i’m doing everything that i can for you. our relationship isn’t perfect and i’m glad it isn’t im glad that we can talk as honestly as we do and that we don’t keep anything from each other. and sometimes i’m amazed at how honest we can be bc so much of our relationship is over text or phone and its so easy to not say things when you’re not in person. but i would never let myself not be fully myself with you and that comes down to even the parts of me that i don’t want anyone to see. 

i’m also so happy that i’m the person that you talk to even when you don’t want to talk to anyone. i can’t believe i’m that person for someone, that person that even when the world is too much i’m not. that you trust me enough to be that person… it means… literally everything to me. 

you are always the highlight of my day, your snaps, texts, stupid messages, emojis, the fact that we’re each others screensavers. god that is freakin gay wow. i wanted to go through posts and like remember our relationship for the PAST YEAR AND A HALF CAN YOU BELIEVE LOL. but haa its like 55 pages and i don’t think i could summarize the best points cause they’re all just so good. we’re fucking legendary sometimes, you know. god this is a mess. this girl knew there was a hurricane happening in texas before i could tell her and has been the most dramatic about it. so if that says anything. 

“Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.”

This quote, this fucking quote ok wow. like ya do shit for yourself and you can create your own happiness blah blah like cool but babe sometimes you are the thing that makes me feel alive. and knowing that there is someone out there that loves me as much as i’m 100% you do keeps me going day to day. i’d swim across the damn fucking ocean for you. and one day we’ll get to see each other in person and it’ll probably be the best damn time of our lives and i can’t fucking wait for it bc it’s gonna happen. and we’re gonna road trip with son and yell at each other about music and scream in person about our favorite characters and spend hours reading together and probably some times on our computers not talking, bc honestly half our skype sessions are us just silently soaking in each other’s company and i wouldn’t change that for the world. 

you are without a doubt one of the most important people in my life, if not the most important and i can’t explain how it feels to have someone that knows me as well as you do and to have that in return with you. i love that as our relationship has grown it’s gone from we have all these things in common in fandom to we have certain fandom things in common but our lives are intertwined and even if we had nothing like that in common it wouldn’t matter. i know you have class on wednesday, i know you can’t skype in the early hours of morning but you will take my call. i know you live in the middle of nowhere and it takes like an hour to get to the city. i know your dad is australian but 50% of the time i hear him speak it’s with that terrible american accent. and well here…

The things i know about emily: she hates coffee but she will try every concoction she can to stay awake while reading, she loves her new puppy even though she said she wasn’t that attached, she has way too many comics (this girl set up a store on ebay ok), she is the most indecisive person to ever grace the earth, her books are arranged in alphabetic order correctly but only after i made sure they were correct, she loves rock music and can’t stand pop, she’s one of the most gorgeous people in the world but doesn’t believe it (uhm she should tho), she…. ok i could go on forever and i can never do those questions on tumblr bc i know everything about her. 

omg this should prob end soon, but like ok emily this is just a mess and i’m sorry but just if you didn’t know i love you more than anything and i hope you have a wonderful day and that we have many more bdays of yours to celebrate even when you don’t want to celebrate them. i’m so glad that you messaged me that day bc there would be a hole in my life without you. you’re amazing, incredible, outstanding, kind, hilarious, an asshole, and like my soulmate. also i’m listening to stand by me while writing this (the power rangers version) so just… i’m about to cry with how much you mean. 

to emily: i love you i love you i love you. and i will love you until the stars i’m looking at now and the ones you will see when you’re reading this can be looked at while we sit with each other outside one of our houses. and i will keep loving you through the distance and the ocean and the fights and the tears and the stubbornness of the world for not letting us be closer in the first place. you have undoubtedly changed my life for the better. you have made me a better person. more confident, happier, and somehow calm. there are days when you make my heart race (gay) and days when you make me still. (raven cycle much). you are my person (lol grey’s) and you are the first person i think of in any situation (laura no we don’t want to hear about this emily girl in australia). so baby girl, again i hope you have the best day and obviously the best life and i’m just so glad that i get to be a part of it even from so far away. i love you (to the moon and back and all that shit) <3

Oh, won’t you take me from this valley To that mountain high above? I will pray, pray, pray Until I see your smiling face. I will pray, pray, pray To the one I love.

[jackchambersdarling]

For the flower ask meme you posted yesterday (i think) Do all of the flowers pls 😌

hii um thanks for the ask and also uhh you love making me struggle with all of these lol but i still love and appreciate you 💕

Daisy: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

tbd 🙃 any guesses for how long it’ll take to happen?? lol

Carnation: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?

HARRY FUCKING STYLES 

Jasmine: What color looks best on you?

umm i’m not really sure lol.. i wear a lot of blues but i think pinks and certain yellows look good.. i have a couple like wine colored tops so…. :/

foxglove: Name three facts about your family?

complicated, drama on both sides, including extended fam (cousins and aunts and stuff) it’s very big and tbh there’s a bunch of relatives i don’t know/barely remember the names or faces of lol

Allium: What’s the best thing you can cook?

this says cook and not bake so i’m not including my baking stuff… tbh i don’t cook that much anymore but i make some damn good pastas (also this isn’t a best like it’s pretty basic but making home made chicken nuggets/tenders is 👌 w/ homemade honey mustard)

Orange Blossom: If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?

uh def not i think.. that seems a bit too gattaca for me no thanks

Calla Lily: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

why you making me think about this rn?? but um probably sign of the times

Poinsettia: Favorite holiday dish?

holiday in general?? this is difficult bc i’m just thinking thanksgiving lol.. non thanksgiving i guess would be my mom and grandma’s homemade tamales for christmas/new year.. and than also almost everything from thanksgiving lmao

Oxlip: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?

i mean yeah maybe? depends on the person i guess (it would suck but my best friend and i have basically been in a long distance type relationship for like 8 years since she moved we only see each other like 2x a year) so i’d be willing to try it probably

Primrose: Favorite kind of soup?

i feel like i don’t eat all that much soup.. maybe chicken soup? but like the salvadorean kind with rice and veggies and a roast chicken lol

Daffodil: What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?

i’ve gotten a couple but for chirstmas a few years ago my (other) best friend gave me this ‘why you’re so awesome’ book with it all filled in 💕

Rose: Are you currently in love with someone?

nope

Amsonia: Would you ever become a vegan?

this question’s funny bc i recently started watching this girl’s youtube channel and she’s vegan so i see/she talks about a lot of stuff about it and the food and everything but anyway… no i don’t think so lmao

Peony: What’s your favorite hot beverage?

idk if i’d say i have a fave? i love coffee but i also love tea and it’s rare that i’ll drink hot chocolate but i love it when i do lol… depends on the day and weather and my mood i guess 

Tulip: For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?

firstly i prefer cake cake rather than an ice cream cake bc it’s usually so cold anyway and i don’t want ice cream for my bday lol.. it usually changes every year.. might be chocolate (but ik a lot of people don’t like chocolate so a lot of times i don’t get chocolate) or yellow/white cake.. i’m actually a fan of yellow cake with custard fruit filling (when it’s made well) cream works fine too as a filling with the fruit

Myrtle: Do you like going on airplanes?

NO

Hibiscus: Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?

i played the violin from 3rd grade up through 9th grade (and then i’ve also made mediocre attempts at guitar and piano bc we’ve always had them in the house but i never stuck with them lol) tbh i wish i could play piano

Zinnia: Who was your best friend when you were six years old?

my best friend at 6 is still one of my best friend’s now (that gave me the book as a present) and we met in kindergarten.. and she doesn’t remember now but she told me once when we were young that she started talking to me bc i was always crying (lol poor baby emy) and she felt bad and didn’t want me to cry lol

Poppy: What color was your childhood home?

i still live in my childhood home but it’s been remodeled a bit umm originally (i’m assuming this is asking about the outside) it had white siding with like brick red accents/shutters and stuff

Hydrangea: Starbucks order?

caramel macchiato (hot or iced), caramel brulee latte during winter, iced passion tea lemonade

Violet: Do you like where you’re from?

yeah it’s alright

Locust: What was your favorite book as a child? 

as a really little kid.. green eggs and ham was a fave (fun fact: it was the first book i ever read by myself and my mom wrote the date in the back cover and i remember being on the couch and finishing reading it alone and it was a few months after i turned 5 i think) but i also read A LOT as a kid and had lots of books and went to the library a lot and had these 2 big storybooks with like tons of stories and plays and things in them 9one was disney) sooo i prob had lots of faves lol

Rhododendron: What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? 

umm i’ve always had this phobia of the movie the leprechaun after i was forced to watch it when i was like 4 and years later i had a dream i was being chased by it 

Queen Anne’s Lace: Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? 

wrap presents

Magnolia: Favorite kind of candy? 

i feel like this changes a lot but for awhile it’s been kitkats

Aster: Would you rather be cold or hot? 

cold i guess.. bc you could layer up but in heat unless you’re in ac it can be torture

Marigold: Do you listen to what’s on the radio? 

rarely.. i usually just listen to my spotify in the car

Heliconia: Do you like when it rains? 

yes if i don’t have to walk around in it lol

Azalea: What’s a movie you cried while watching? 

i cry a lot watching movies lol but 2 that i’ve cried A LOT watching are a walk to remember and remember me (that ending… i made a damn fool of myself in the movie theater lmao my best friend was embarrassed 😂)

Dandelion: Do you think you’re important?

yes