#probably a LOT of typos hnghh

[shinjisdone]

To Soften a Warrior’s Heart (Vinland Saga; Thorfinn; Part 5.1)

In which you have joined Askeladd’s band…and grow closer to the Son of Thors. Though it is more difficult than anyone can could ever imagine…

[Headcanons of how it would be like to meet and crawl your way into Thorfinn’s heart (based on season 1; both platonic and romantic)]

Part 1 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 14 and how he is at that age

Part 2 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 16/17 + headcanons of growing closer (slightly following s1 story)

Part 3 is here - blooming friendship with Thorfinn (slightly following s1 story)

Part 4 is here - Thorfinn unwittingly opening his heart as he realizes he does not want you to die

Part 5.2 is here - other sweet thigns Thorfinn would do for you (headcanons)

Part 6 is here - Becoming Canute's guard while Thorfinn accepts your relationship and bond

Part 7 is here - Canute grieving over Ragnar and Thorkell catching up; Thorfinn leaves you alone for revenge

Part 8 is here - Thorfinn wins against Thorkell; Questioning your bond with Thorfinn

Part 9 is here - Meeting Leif and Thorfinn dueling Askeladd; Losing while Askeladd told him the truth of his constant losses

Part 10 is here - Thorfinn and you bound by heart; Promises of Vinland broken and abandoned

[Mentions of wholesome things now happening between you and Thorfinn in your daily lives as vikings :)

No awful things this time - except potential harrassment of the other bandmates is mentioned. Many female examples in general + gender-neutral ones.]

Also literally had to split my original post in two because tumblr said no 🤡 one more word and youre out

i simply have;;;;;; too much brainrot ughhh too many thoughts

Sweet Things Thorfinn would Do For/With You Now That You Trust Each Other And Get Along And I Have Too Many Thoughts In No Order :)

Just as a heads up:

Never, never ever would Thorfinn ever express his feelings for you verbally, no matter if platonic or romantic. Not a living soul is going to know what's really going on inside of him (not like he even knows what he's really feeling!). Even you could be the one asking him why he's doing what he does and what he feels in his heart but Thorfinn would only scoff and leave you with no answer. If anything, he'd just come up with a light counter question.

The blonde is careful when he handles you. Do not misunderstand, there will be no signs or touches of affections from him. Oh, no, no, no. Thorfinn pushes, drags and pulls whenever and however he pleases. It's just when he does it with you, he keeps reminding himself to be gentle.

Not because he sees you as fragile, injured or not, but because he wants to be gentle with you. He's just not used to it, hence the remembering.

When he pushes you, he does so with half of his strength and because he wants to keep you out of harms way. While others roll down the hill and break their necks, you stumble.

When he drags you, he is, well, dragging you. Maybe you talk for too long, you're distracted or you're being too slow, ya drag. Again, he doesn't haul you by the collar but instead clasps your wrists and leads you elsewhere.

When he pulls, he is first guiding you, then giving you a brief shove into the right direction with his hand on your back. Sometimes he does pull on your hair though to wake you up. The guy is cheeky like that at times, only when you two are alone though and then he has the gall to say with a grin that he just pulled some hay out of your hair (if you have light-colored hair, then he has the excuse that he couldn't just see the hay and...pulled on a handful of locks). And if he doesn't do that, you can bet he pinches your nose long enough to wake you up.

Over time however, there will be not need to remind himself to be gentle. Thorfinn will just become gentle with you. It's like he's learning.

In general he would not think of anything of your gentle or soft touches. Thorfinn takes it that you find his company pleasant too so he wouldn't be surprised if you were kind with the way you are handling him.

However, he might freeze up like a cat that got in contact with water or even have the slightest of blushes on his face (very faint and very rare though!) if you show him any signs of affections or intimacy.

Your grin could rival the sun or you can giggle like a princess and Thorfinn would only smile at the brief joy you can share. It's nothing that flusters him.

However, if you were to tell him how, depsite everything, glad you are that you met him or that even he can be sweet in the same breath, then prepare to meet widened eyes and lips stretched to a line. It's hard to read what he's feeling in situations like these.

Bonus points if you are being affectionate with him. Nothing grand but something akin to gently brushing his hair out of his face when checking for injuries (the sensation of your fingertips gingerly gliding over his skin is foreign), tapping his face when trying to wake him up (your 'Hey, hey!'s that form as warm breaths hit his skin and your own hand is warm on his cheek) or when he drags you away with his grasp on your wrist, your fingers sometimes graze over his palm (You don't seem upset when he does that. It's like you let him know that you are there). All of these little gestures stun him at times...and yes, he might blush. Do NOT ever point it out or you're dead!

Even so, sometimes...just sometimes...if you are being reaaally cautious, you can catch him being affectionate as well.

It's not his fault. Your affection just has infected him.

The young man doesn't even notice. There isn't a change of behaviour or character, it is just a simple action that passes by like a breeze if you blink. When he thinks your joke was lame, he teasingly gives you light shove pat on your noggin (he acts like he's 'punishing' you for that bad joke even if his touch didn't hurt at all). When he cuts your hair or untangles it, he runs his fingers through as a last check-up (or maybe he does it twice, very gently too). When you are too tired or injured he gives you a piggy-back ride if the band has to move on, careful not touch your thighs (in fact he balls his hands up in fists so he can't have his fingers brush you) and adjusting you so you can be comfortable. You can bet he will tell you to hold onto him tightly so you won't and can't fall off. When he wants to wake you up, he nudges his head with yours, right next to his.

Thorfinn doesn't even realize these things can be seen as trusting or intimate. He just...does them. After all this time, why should he be rough with you?

When on baot, both of you have no choice but to share the same sleeping spots with the other men, no matter how much you dislike them. Either you'd wake up before them to enjoy the stillness or sleep in as much as possible until you have to get up. Since neither of you are of any help on the ship (rather Thorfinn refuses to when there is nothing in it for him and for your age you aren't as strong as the others to row).

On land you can bet your camp is faaaaar away from the others. Even when there are not on the battlefield, they are loud, sing, tell each other stories, pillage houses left behind or end up arguing which always leads to a duel. It's not pleasant to be with them so you two prefer each other.

If there are truly no enemies near, both of you feel free to fall asleep...but after that stunt from Askeladd, Thorfinn would always insist on staying up at least a bit before sunrise. It doesn't matter if Askeladd himself comes near, any of them men could be a potential danger (especially if you are a woman).

You wake up and get ready for breakfast. Anything that is edible will do and you both quickly decide who does what. Both of you are okay with whatever task needs to be done, so there isn't much arguing (neither is there in general). You cook, eat, and Thorfinn often trains during the breaks before the band moves on. He refuses to train with you though. On one hand, since he aims to kill, he cannot afford to go easy in general even if it is for sparring. On the other hand, he doesn't want you to get hurt. The blonde doesn't really believe he ever would, even on accident while training, hurt you (the guy is a bit unaware of his strength though...like, he totally could accidentally hurt you. If you told him so, he wouldn't believe you.) - but, as mentioned - Thorfinn does not risk anything when it comes to your safety.

You can best believe he would never admit that though. It's one, if not the only thing he is very much self-aware of - wanting to keep you safe. So if you ever ask why or you insist on training, he will bluntly and briefly tell you no.

If he doesn't train, you check each other's weapons or prepare yourselves while casually chatting. Better be safe than sorry.

If there isn't anywhere to go or anything to do, you'd usually go through your routine or do things that need to be done.

Patching up clothes or repairing weapons near a river while the other one catches some fish for lunch or as provisions. Getting familiar with the area or finding other useful material in the wild (breath of the wild style).

Wether you like or not, both of you have to bathe sooner or later. It gets rid of the stench, of blood, potential infections and diseases. You can't go on sailing the sea when you are this filthy.

I feel like Thorfinn in general is not fond of bathing. He would only do it if he has to, so he probably waits until the day he really, really needs to. When he is stinky and gross. Go ahead and tell him so while covering your nose, he might immediately defend himself but he needs the reality check.

No matter who you are or how close you two might be, I don't believe Thorfinn would want to bathe with you. He'd prefer to do it alone for...no reason really. He is done with it quite quickly too anyway, so he wouldn't need the help or company. It's just not something he'd like to do (yes, he'd find a way to wash his own back if it means he won't have to bathe with you).

He wouldn't want to bathe with you if you are female anyway. So it's not even a question.

In the meantime, he does not mind if you watch his belongings, inlcuding his dagger. The young man wouldn't let his dagger out of his sight for a second but he trusts you to watch it. However, he'd appreciate it if you wouldn't touch or clean it. He would rather do that.

Thorfinn has no problem with you washing his clothes though! Don't be stranger, go ahead! (Well, you did say he reeks. And what's the point in bathing if the clothes stink as well? He's washing himself right now, he doesn't have time, so...)

But in return, he'd do the same for you.

You can go ahead and bathe, he'll watch your belongings and if you ask, well, fine, he'll also wash your clothes.

Again, if you are a woman, he'd definetly will keep watch over your belongings and for you. The blonde would stay near and have his back turned to you as he keeps watch of the area. He can't risk any of the bandmates or others to see you or steal your clothes while you are bathing.

On a note; when he is washing your clothes, he would only go so far as for your pants, top sections, cloak, belts and pockets. He would not touch your underwear. You can go and do that yourself. It's better this way (Thorfinn would in return not expect you to wash his underwear either. Like, ew.).

Aside from bathing, you'd also groom yourselves.

Both of you have no qualms about brushing each other's hair, epecially when it comes to taking out lices. When asked Thorfinn would drop what he was doing (well, if it wasn't anything important) and brush your hair, no problem. The first few times he did that for you he most likely to definitely hurt you and got stuck on some tangled locks multiple times. He does get better though and gets gentler over time.

However, the blonde only insists on help when he is really being terrorized by lices. Even if he has a few, as long as they don't keep him up at night he does not see a reason to brush his hair. Bro could look like a scarecrow but he still wouldn't ask. Thorfinn does not care for his outer appereance as long as he can f i g h t grr.

(Okay incoming angst here: Another reason why he might not want to get his hair brushed is because it might remind him of the old, english mother who did that for him - before he ended up getting her killed. If you were in the middle of brushing his hair like she did, he might freeze up and tell you to stop - sorry, I know I said this would be wholesome but it just came to me,,,, ಥ,_｣ಥ I'm sowwy, if you want wholesomness pls ignore this)

Back to the wholesomness haha: If you do brush his hair, no matter if you talk to him/tease him/are completely silent, for the first few times, Thorfinn would definitely get embarrassed.

He knows it's done for the sake of hygiene but...he can't help it. Having you take care of him through such an motherly act is...touching as it is equally embarrasing. It would not help if you started just casually talking to him, or tease him for his behaviour or start humming like a mother taking care of her fledgling. PLEASE. JUST STOP.

And if you compliment how nice his hair looks? That you like how blonde he is? Gods, p l e a s e. just s t o p. You're embarrassing him, he's gonna go red as a tomato!

It's another reminder of how...normal of a person you are. That this moment that you shared was a moment of normalcy.

Normal, everyday interaction. Something akin to what friends, family and lovers have.

You two have long learned to not do this in the presence of the others. While the men simply wash themselves when it rains and groom themselves by running their (usually dirty and bloody) fingers through their hair, they see your way of taking care of yourselfves as too intimate. It's the same result and something many villagers do but it still makes these prideful vikings laugh.

So when you do take care of yourselves, you do it in private (You grumble how anyone can be so childish to mock something as normal as brushing your hair with an actual brush).

This includes cutting hair.

In his opinion, Thorfinn's hair doesn't get in the way so he seldomly cuts it. He can cut your hair whenever you like though.

He'd even use his dagger. There isn't much going through his mind when using said weapon - he might admire it in one hand while holding a few of your locks in his other before starting. The same blade that belonged to his father, which he killed people with and defended the both of you with, he would now use to cut something as simple and light as hair. He'd feel a bit more sentimental though if the point of cutting your hair was benficial to your general safety.

The blade that kills and defends would now keep you a bit safer (would his father agree?).

Aside from all this sentimentality, you can bet all your belongings that Thorfinn is an awful hairdresser.

He'd take a fistful of your hair, just the amount that you said you wanted gone, and just...cuts it. No corrections afterwards whatsoever. He is as gentle as a mother but your hairdo still looks like trash.

Well, in the world or vikings where you could die at any time and at any battlefield, looks don't really matter.

Still, there is something going on in his mind, you can tell.

After or during the haircut, Thorfinn looks at your cut locks in his hand, blinking with an unreadable expression before having the wind slip them out of his grasp.

Perhaps he is thinking that even something like long hair can be a danger out on the battlefield and the sea. Maybe you actually like to keep your hair the way it was but simply had to cut it and saw it as a shame. Or he might have thought how pretty your hair is. Who knows.

Thorfinn is the kind of guy who overthinks but keeps most of these things to himself.

Injuries are common as mercenaries and when you do have some, you two are the only ones taking care of each other.

In fact, either of you would refuse to help anyone else on the ship.

Men who raid, kill and follow a man who tried to get you killed are not worth to fuss over (yes, you both are still salty about that).

They can get sick and rot as much as they want, they won't get any help from you and Thorfinn.

When it comes to injury and sickness, it is one of those times where the both of you treat the other like glass. Gingerly and carefully while ordering that there will be no more working, helping and fighting until they are better. Thorfinn is a bit more stubborn to disobey and fight regardless and you've told him dozends of times how foolish that is. In fact, you might have had to save him a few times because he was being too stubborn.

On that note, you both save each other. It's an unwritten rule and there are no favors expected at the end. You save him and he saves you because both of you want to. Both of you don't want the other to die.

That can lead to arguements on what is considered dangerous. It's all out of tough love, however.

And when the day draws to a close, you two perpare to rest. Food is shared and the sleeping spots prepared. On boat, you are on the far back, huddled close and leaning against the raling to sleep. On land, you either camp or sleep on some hay in a stable.

Nevertheless, before anything can be done you two decide who will keep watch first. The decision is done quickly and whenver the other one starts to feel tired, they nudge the other one awake to switch.

If it gets cold and the wind bites you, well...you and Thorfinn were thinking of cuddling not to freeze to death. It's embarrassing (definitely for him, you could be a total different case entirely).

First you tried to share your blankets but keep some space. That would mean neither of you gets to move though. Besides, what's the point of keeping warm if you can't feel the body temperature of the other?

So...it seems like you have to physically touch. It's easy if both of you are sitting and just lean against each other, maybe even have one rest their head one the other's shoulder or head. Knees touching as your hunched small and close, though Thorfinn is very hesitant to wrap his arms around you. It's different when he is simply patching you up or leading you elsewhere...here he has to keep you warm.

Will most likey not initiate any kind of cuddling/wrapping his arms around you AT ALL. Dude is too embarrassed. And if you are female, then he is certainly hesitant. What if you don't want him to be close at all but have to endure it due to the cold? He surely can't touch you then.

However, if you tell him it's alright or if you initiate it, then...well, he needs time and a bit more encouraging but he will accept. Gingerly so though, and constantly overthinking where he even should put his arms. Finally decides to just have his arms around your shoulders, maybe rest his hand on your head.

Speaking of heads, he really, really, really prefers to have your head on his shoulder and not the other way around. As comforting as the thought may be...it also makes him feel small, like he is being taken care of. Just let him rest his head on your head, alright?

Please do not talk to him during this. It's beyond embarrassing but also...flustering. Thorfinn wouldn't know what to say anyway. Sleep, it's the reason why you are so close in the first place, right?

Now if you were lying on the ground...uh oh.

Thorfinn would not ever cuddle with you while lying down. He'd rather freeze to death.

No, no, no, no. He can't handle that.

But if you were the one freezing? If the cold, howling wind bites you and snow starts covering you like a blanket? He would do it. No question.

Again, please take the initiate. Just...tell him what to do, briefly and bluntly with no teasing. The blonde doesn't have the patience for that.

Thorfinn could never spoon in general, let alone be the BIG spoon. You and him...aren't like that. And have him be the little spoon? No, feeling your arms around him from the back is also just too much. It messes with his head and seldomly might even make his heart speed up.

Ugh, how annoying.

No spoons. Just not dying. That's it.

It's best to just sit and sleep if you have to cuddle.

Having your arms around each other, being so close, lying on the hay, your face so close to his...and then, maybe you even snore and he feels your breath fawning over his lips...

Bonus points - or rather, to add to his anxious horror - it would even be worse if you move a lot in your sleep.

You could cuddle into his chest, neck or face. That'd just be awful. How is he supposed to move? How is this going to look like in the morning?

AND IF YOU MOVE AWAY FROM HIM AND HE IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOU CLOSE SO YOU WON'T GET COLD??? BRO HE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU.

Does he seriously have to physically pull you close to him? What. A. Drag. He shouldn't have to be dealing with this.

The young man is already battling with himself where he is supposed to keep his hands when pulling you back to your original position. Oh, hell no, he going to wake you up and tell you to stop moving (stop snoring while you're add it btw).

Oh, also a VERY important point: You are not shorter than Thorfinn. Period. You can be the same height or taller but Thorfinn keeps on being the short one, capiche. He. Remains. Small.

So because of that when lying next to each other, you are probably face-to-face most of the time.

It is...bothersome. Thorfinn can't turn away nor look anywhere else when your face is right there.

He might even tell you so since he cant see anything with your mug right in front of his face when he has to keep watch. You offer to make yourself small and it inevitably leads...to you nuzzling into his neck (or chest if you hunch real small. Your back is gonna hurt in the morning though). The young man supposes it's better than nothing. The only way even perhaps.

He keeps a hand on the back of your head to keep you from moving and blocking his sight. Does not help when he feels your warm breath hit his neck.

You are either both asleep, or you switch, nudging the other awake to keep watch.

If it is Thorfinn, well, lucky him. He definitely can't sleep when you are cuddled up to him like that...though he tries to see it as something useful. He won't ever fall asleep while on watch and neither would he get any nightmares when he's awake.

Especially if you snore.

But perhaps you don't snore. You talk in your sleep instead.

It could be about anyhting; A dream, nightmare, a memory, family, your past, something that just happened a day ago. It depends on you if Thorfinn is familiar with it.

He'd stare, not knowing what to do. As long as it isn't anything that causes you to panic, he lets you sleep. Having no choice, he probably must listen to your rambles, wether or not you both like it.

If he hears anything personal, he won't mention it in the morning. You didn't mean to spill any beans, it just happened.

If you seem to be in discomfort, oh boy, does he not know what to do. Thorfinn might try to rub your back and he might try to pat your head but if it doesn't work, he shakes you awake. No use if you panic in your sleep right next to him.

He tells you of your discomfort but wouldn't know what to do afterwards. You can either try to sleep again or take over watch...

[too...many...thorfinn thoughts...overtaking...my...brain...not good...

also there literally are no pictures of prologue Thorfinn smiling :,) there is that one thing where he makes fun of Canute but thats no smile...thats basking in mockery :,)

little thorfinn is cute thou]

[imaginesnkdorks]

Reader and Erwin where she's a cadet in the 104 but she's a couple years older than Erwin and all of them. The had a relationship during the time they met and they get married she pregnant and he gives her and the child a bunch of diaries or journals that tell his life and but during the battle with the beast he dies so the child grows up without a father but wants to be exactly like him

The story ur writing a role to take with the reader x Erwin I made a typo she’s not older than Erwin but she’s older than the cadets she’s 20

“A Role to Take” PART 1

Pairing: Erwin X Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Violence; mentions of death; long read

Words: 2270

[Part 2 ] [Part III] [Part IV]

[A/N: So, this was a tough one to write. I didn’t want it to feel rushed so I decided to cut it into two to three parts. Will update the next parts probably this weekend :D - mod max]

[EDIT: Made Reader younger :D]

           Anotherwedding, hmm? I sighed as I walked home. Everyone my age is getting married –people I used to play with when we were little. It’s not like we’re beyondmarrying age – we’re just in our twenties. In fact, I just turned twenty. Stillyoung, but not quite. The tragedy of two years ago made everyone realize how wecould just die anytime. Most decided it was now or never, and eloped with theirsweethearts.

           Whatabout me? It isn’t like love never presented itself. It’s just that I have adifferent priority. That is looking after my ill mother. People ask me if I’mhappy like this, and I always answered yes. I do get lonely, sometimes. But Ilove how rewarding it is to feel useful, and to be able to help my mother.  

           Still, being my mother’s caretakercame to an end. And even though I’ve been expecting this to happen eventually,I was devastated. I have no one. And honestly, my life lost its direction. Idon’t know what to do.

           I live in Ragako Village, in thesouthern part of Wall Rose. It’s a quaint little town and I love how peacefulit is, despite being close to the edge of the wall.

           “Ah, (Y/N), done with your chores?”Mrs. Springer asked me the moment I passed by her house.

           “Almost.” I answered, smiling to thesweet woman. “I heard a commotion at your house this morning, is everythingalright?” At that, she wore an expression only a pissed off mother could pulloff.

           Letting go a puff of air, she began“Connie is planning to enlist. That boy is worrying me to death.”

           “Oh? Surely, though he isn’tplanning to join the Survey Corps?” The Survey Corps is the most dangerousbranch of the military. Ever since the fall of Wall Maria two years ago, therewas a spike in people enlisting.

           “Goodness, no. He wants to join theMilitary Police.” Hmm, the military police? That’s the branch that takes careof the inner district. That’s far from titans, so if Connie get in, he’ll beliving a comfortable life. Though, I understand why his mother is worried –people can die even during training.

           We exchanged a few more words,before I promptly said goodbye. I entered my house … alone again.

           I hate to admit this but I don’tknow what to do with myself. I need to take care of something – or someone. Mytalk with Mrs. Springer sparked a plan in my mind, and I’m shaking justthinking about it. Not of fear, but of excitement. I believe I haven’t feltthis my whole life.

           The plan? Watch over ConnieSpringer, of course. And like him, I entered the military. I don’t haveanything to lose, anyway.

           “Did my mother ask you to do this,(Y/N)?” Connie asked me, while we were on our way to camp.

           “Hmm, no. I literally have nothingelse to do.” I told the him.

           “Oh. You wanna join the MilitaryPolice, too?” He asked me, flashing a toothy grin.

           “I haven’t decided yet. We’ll see.”I can’t tell him that I’ll join whichever he joins now, could I?

           “Okay.”

           We arrived at the training camp, andwas given our uniforms and cabin assignments. That’s when I parted ways withConnie. I’m quite thankful that there are a number of young adults and adultswith us – see, not only teenagers are trying to enter the military. Thanks tofood shortages, enlisting was a sure way to keep food coming. Meaning, therewould be a lot of breadwinners and even parents here. After changing into ourissued uniforms, we got in line to meet our instructor, thus beginning our lifeas the 104th trainees.

           Two years passed in a blink of aneye. Turns out, I don’t really have to worry about Connie. The kid’s prettywitty, if I do say so myself. Other than that, all I can say is that I have aknack for this. I spent most my life doing mundane housework. I don’t eventhink I’ve run at all! But this – using the 3DM gear, fighting whether by handor blades – is something that came quite naturally. Was it due to pent upfrustration? I finally found a safe way to let it all out? Maybe.

           Graduation is almost here, andeveryone is thinking seriously about which branch to join. I’m relieved thatConnie is still aspiring to join the Military Police, but I’m worried. There’sthis one kid who absolutely detests titans, Eren, and I think he’s slowlyinfluencing a bunch of other kids to join the Survey Corps.

           “What about you, (Y/N)?” Mina askedme.

           “Huh?” We are currently at the topof the wall, cleaning.

           “Which branch are you joining?” Sheexplained.

           “Oh. The Survey Corps, I guess.”

           “Woah. Really?” It was Eren thistime. That’s the kid who hates titans. It’s understandable why, though. Hismother was eaten by one right in front of him. No wonder he’s so messed up.

           “Why?” It was Connie who asked me.Why, indeed?

           I shrugged. Months into training, Idecided that I’d join the SC whichever branch Connie joins. The other two arerelatively safer than the SC, so there won’t be any need to worry. Besides, Ifeel like that’s where I’d be most useful.

           “What about the rest of you?” Iasked them. The conversation took off, and it turns out that Eren did influencea bunch of them. Even Connie. That made me raise a brow, and Connie sheepishlyshrugged it off. Ugh, this kid’s soft.

           We got quiet as we focused more onour task. I can’t help but hum a tune. Cleaning is as easy as breathing for me,after all. I’m sure I’ll ha –

           Booom!

           “What the –?” Thunder? “Titan!” Atitan! A titan appeared right in front of us … It happened all so fast!

           “Gahhh!” A gust of wind threw us alloff the wall.

           “Samuel!” I think it was Sasha, shejumped and did something. I didn’t see because my eyes were on the gate – orwhere the gate was supposed to be.

           “A breach! Titans are going to getin!” I yelled, in a panic. The hell of five years ago would happen again! Wecan’t let that happen!

           I jumped off, closing the gapbetween me and the gate. “Titans are already walking in?” Unbelievable. We didn’teven have time to breathe, they’re already invading! I looked up to mycompanions to try to regroup. Samuel’s passed out, with Sasha holding on tohim. Mina and Thomas seems unharmed. Connie is frozen, eyes locked at the gapwhich was once the gate, and Eren was nowhere to be found.

           Booming sounds can still be heardfrom the top – is Eren fighting the colossal titan? Hnghh. I don’t have time tothink about that. I turned back to the gap, and there are at least seven titansalready in here. I can’t kill them all. We need back up!

           Adrenaline was rushing through mysystem – this is what we’ve been training for!

           It took us two days to fight titans,seal the gap and clean up everything. It was a blur full of tears, blood anddeath. Many among my batchmates perished – sons, daughters, parents … dead.

           This event opened my eyes in manyways. We aren’t safe – we were never safe. It seems that titans gave us thehundred years of peace. Now that it’s over, they’re slowly picking us off onewall at a time.

           Luckily, we managed to seal thegate. In a twist of fate, a titan saved us. Ironic, I know. A Titan protectedus from other titans. That Eren boy transformed into a titan. I don’t know thefull details yet, though. That’s another irony, right there. Eren was probably theone who hates titans the most, yet here he is. Able to become a titan,apparently at will. That kid must be feeling horrible about that.

           We are currently cremating whatlittle we were able to recover of the dead. It was tough identifying most. Itwas a tragedy –  as bad as any could everbe. I think I should be worried. Well, worried about something personal, and itisn’t about my safety. I loved the battle. My flesh tingles at the sheerthought of slicing titans. I’ve never felt more alive!

           I think I finally found my life’spurpose – to rid this world of titans.

           You could say that I’m an oddball.Most people are in shock. Poor Connie – he’s inconsolable. Everyone is. We areall quietly watching the pyres when Jean spoke up.

           “Hey, guys …” Needless to say, hehas all of our undivided attention.

           He turned to us, and he obviouslyisn’t taking this well. Which, I’d say is normal given the situation.Especially since a close friend of his passed away. “Have you decided whichforce you’re joining?” He asked, yet he didn’t let any of us answer before heshared a shocking news. “I’ve made up my mind …” he couldn’t stop shaking as hecontinued, “I … I … I’m joining the Survey Corps!”

           That’s shocking. Jean was veryadamant in joining the MP, yet here he is, declaring that he’ll join the SC.After that, we sunk back into silence – not really. Cries of sadness are heardall around.

           It’s the day, the day that theSurvey Corps’ commander is going to talk to us graduates. He’s the first oneamong the commanders who’ll try to recruit us. I guess he’s the first one,since the other commanders think that if they go first, there will be no oneleft for the SC.

           I was leaning against the wall, withothers who are rather attached to mein the loosest sense of the word. Also, Connie seems to be sticking closer tome ever since the battle at Trost. We were minding our own business when Jeanwalked up to us.

           “Jean, you’re really joining theSurvey Corps?” I couldn’t help but ask. This sudden change of heart of hisbaffles me still.

           “Yeah.” He curtly answered.

           “Why the sudden decision?” Sashaasked. Hmm, turns out it wasn’t just me who was surprised. “Aren’t you scared?”

           “Huh? Of course I don’t want to jointhe Survey Corps.” He answered, nonchalantly. It seems he’s cried all of histears last night.

           Connie spoke up then, “then why?”

           “It’s not that titans don’t scare meanymore either. And I won’t spout nonsense like, the best belongs in the Survey Corps. I’m not as eager to die asthat suicidal bastard.”

           “You mean Eren? He’s already joinedthe Survey Corps.” I added. After what seemed to be a messy trial, the SC gottemporary custody of Eren.

           We were then called to get in line.We all decided to follow the order, but not before Jean told us how this,joining the SC, was solely a decision of his.

           Before today, I have never seen thecommander of the SC. I expected to see an old, bald man. Pretty much likeCommander Pixis of the Garrison. Turns out I was way off the mark.

           “I am Erwin Smith, Commander of theSurvey Corps.” The tall, blonde man said in that smooth voice of his. He’s alot younger compared to Pixis, and our instructor Keith Shadis. And quite ahandsome fellow. He began his speech, inviting us to join the SC. But he wasn’tsugar coating it. He told us the harsh, cold truth about what’s it like. Thisman is different.

           As he finished, he asked those whowants to join to stay in the field. Many people left – but that is to beexpected. When people who wanted to leave were all gone, commander addressed uswho stayed behind; “are you willing to die if you’re ordered to?”

           “I don’t want to die!” A brave soulanswered.

           “I see. I like the looks on your faces.”Commander Erwin said, eyes travelling around, looking each of us in the eyes. Andfor a moment there, his eyes lingered a little too long on mine. I never knew aperson’s eyes could be that strikingly blue.

           “I hereby welcome all of you to theSurvey Corps! This is a true salute! Offer up your hearts!”

           “Yes, sir!” We yelled as we made ourfirst ever salute as Survey Corps soldiers.

           “I’m scared!” Sasha muttered. “Iwant to go home.”

           “I don’t even care.” Conniewhispered.

           These teens … they’re brave. Yes,they want to run, but they aren’t doing it. They chose to stay.

           “You’ve done well to endure yourfear. You are brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect.” Commander Erwinseems to be thinking the same thing as I am. And as I turned back to look athim, I saw his eyes were back on me. Then he turned away.

           Nineteen. Out of hundreds on ourfirst day, only nineteen of us stayed to join the Survey Corps.

           This is it. The direction I’ve beenlooking for. I can’t help but feel excited.

Copyright © 2017 by imaginesnkdorks. All rights reserved