#probably a typical white trash experience regardless of region

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i kind of scared the new hire today (oops)

we were swapping medical lore, and i mentioned my scarlet fever and lack of antibiotics growing up, etc. her healthcare background is even more extensive than mine, so she immediately recognized the potential complications and asked me if i had a heart murmur (she specifically mentioned the mitral valve, hell yeah). i explained yes, and that it's gotten worse per my last physical 2 years ago, but no cardiologists that i've talked to thus far take our insurance. so i can't get in for an echocardiogram to see if i actually need surgery, but everything i read about rheumatic fever/rheumatic heart disease matches my symptoms.

she looked aghast and asked me how i'm not worried all the time and desperately trying to figure out how to pay for an echo. i told her i decided not to stress too much because even if an echo shows i need surgery, i couldn't afford it anyway, not with our current coverage. all it would do is confirm death is coming for me young, which i've always known and been fine with. she was mildly appalled by this, but thankfully, still thinks i am cool and a good teacher. so that's a relief lol