#protect her but the result is more like they're isolating her isn't it? How do you expect her to form friendships if she can't talk about

[crookedlyinnernightmare]

Because most of the birthdays in Saiki K correspond with a character’s debut, Teruhashi’s first interaction with Kusuo was on her birthday. The date was August 6th both in the real world and in the SK universe.

However, despite it being her birthday, Teruhashi isn’t sought out by her followers any more than usual. Even a guy who saw her that day didn’t remember anything about it, except that he saw her with Nendou.

This implies that Teruhashi’s followers don’t know when her birthday is. After all, if they knew they would probably flood her with gifts, or perhaps form a national holiday in her honor. But the only reference to her birthday is much, much later, when Makoto tries to find her a present. Perhaps Teruhashi keeps it a secret to maintain her privacy?

It might also be because of the Kokomins, who work to prevent non-members from talking to Teruhashi, and only permit members to talk to her about the weather.

The result is that Teruhashi isn’t cornered by politeness or social convention to share her birthday with anyone. I think it makes a nice symbol of friendship if Teruhashi chooses to share that information with people she’s close to! Maybe with Chiyo, or Rifuta, or perhaps Aiura since she’s into astrology and would probs want to look up her natal chart. It’s a nice way of communicating trust~

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.192 thoughts

[RULES OF NATURE!!!] or [We Live in a Society]

(Contents: thematic analysis - rules, character analysis - Top)

Undead Unluck is now officially as long as Medaka Box! Well, 'cept it doesn't have any special chapters in Giga or anything like that, so I guess technically Medaka Box had two more chapters? Come to think of it, wasn't getting two bonus chapters kind of a big deal? Can't think of too many Jump manga that get ANY bonus chapters...

Gettin' sidetracked, focus!

We finally get to see our boy Top, and oh no! He's become a Bad Boy(TM)! Using his powers to steal when his previous self was willing to stop running so his friends could win the prize money he needed...how heartbreaking! No wonder Haruka is trying so hard to stop him, especially since she was around to stop his tragedy - she's probably already as attached to him now as she was in the previous loop, and it hurts her to see him like this

It does seem a little strange for a family to get run out of town for illness in modern society, but maybe that's just what it's like in a poor Brazilian neighborhood? That doesn't sound right, but even if it isn't, it's fiction and I'm just going to ignore it for the sake of the drama

Top's mother tells him that he shouldn't be stealing, not necessarily because stealing is inherently wrong, but because it breaks society's rules - in the traditional sense, an outlaw is someone who doesn't obey the law, and therefore is not protected by it, so from her perspective, her son living as an outlaw justifies their isolation from the rest of society. To her, living within the law should eventually result in their family being accepted back into society, as surely the law must protect those who live within its borders

This is a fallacy, though: the law punishes those who live outside of it, but it is not obligated to protect anyone at all. The Rules of the UU world make Tozuka's stance on this topic abundantly clear, as their very existence is explicitly meant to cause suffering, and the only way to end that suffering is to either find loopholes within the rules or to negate the rules themselves. You can either cheat the system or break it, but staying perfectly in line is only going to give the advantage to those who seek to abuse the rules for their own benefit and the detriment of everyone else. The poor stay poor while the rich get richer

Top's way of doing things isn't necessarily right, either, though. While the law won't do anything to help, stealing from the community is a surefire way to lose sympathy from the people who may be willing to help. It's one thing to be an enemy of the law, but making an enemy of the community will only make one more isolated. UU is all about banding together to make things better, but Top is turning his back on everyone else to shoulder everything himself. If he makes a name for himself as a criminal, making the wrong members of the community his enemy, there's a good chance that no amount of money will let his mother get whatever treatment he needs. This is the kind of town where they can kick you out for being sick, there's a very good chance they'd refuse service to the kid who stole X amount of money from them. Money is a construct of society - becoming society's enemy is a surefire way to make your money lose its value

The Rules of UU work similarly - by working with the Rules, new possibilities are created, like Lucy and Andy materializing their souls after the introduction of Ghost, Nico mastering electricity to turn Ichico's eyebags into eyeshadow, the Union warping with Move, etc. The Rules are not inherently bad, they just aren't designed with protection in mind - they're made to restrict or enable specific behaviors, which can be used to either guide or manipulate those they apply to. How this theme will develop for this arc remains to be seen, but it's very clear that Top's situation is meant to be a more realistic or practical parallel to the fantastical setting of this world as a whole

Reading this chapter also prompted me to reread Top's backstory chapter, and I noticed a fun little parallel: at the beginning of this week's chapter, Fuuko says that because of her Unluck, she killed her parents, just like Top says that because of his Unstoppable, he killed his friends, and in both cases, Juiz/Julia insisted that both of them were blameless, and instead God was responsible for those deaths. Of course, both Fuuko and Top still insist on shouldering the responsibility to make things right by defeating God

I wonder if perhaps Top not killing anyone is part of the reason he went down this path: before, he wasn't responsible but couldn't help feeling like he was, but this time he really is just a victim of circumstance, so blaming everyone else and lashing out is a natural reaction. I'm not saying he was better off with his friends' blood on his hands (shoes?), but it's interesting that the worse circumstance forged a stronger and kinder heart

I imagine that's going to lead into the deeper explanation that Fuuko started at the beginning of the chapter: why the Negators are chosen. It's a question that we've been asking for a long time, and I always assumed that God just liked to pick on whoever would be the most ironic in the moment, so I'm excited to see what kind of answer Tozuka is gearing up to give us. I imagine it'll sound esoteric and weird at first, but it'll undoubtedly give me a lot to talk about, so I'm greatly looking forward to it

Until next time, let's enjoy life

[deadendtracks]

final response to this post by @divinekangaroo!

“some of these might be considered trauma responses but my preference is to think he is/was always going to be this way *somewhat*#because he is this way.the particular traumas he went through were able to be framed in ways that allowed him to continue…for a while Also curious about this -- what do you think are the characteristics he has that were "always going to be this way" The key ones:  - That he struggles with actually connecting deeply with people, reading sexual cues/flirtation, because he actually connects too deeply – he holds back to avoid embarrassment if he’s misread something. Some of this leads to an inclination to prefer sex that is openly a transaction (prostitutes) because it relieves any dialogue around intimacy or connection. He can treat sex as a physical need without having to think about the other.

I can see him possibly struggling to read sexual cues/flirtation as a young man though I don't actually think he has that problem at all as an adult, post-war. I think he's just very blunt about bringing things out in the open -- and can be awkward about it in his bluntness (or doesn't care if he's being awkward/borderline rude). His reasons for doing so (with May, for example) are interesting to dig into. He does not misread the cues that Mosley is giving him; but in this case he does *not* bring it into the open bluntly.

In May's case he absolutely knows she wants to fuck him, it's not in question. He's more about putting it out there on the table as something he doesn't want to dance around (since they're alone and there's no worry about propriety). There's a lot of class stuff going on there, I think; all the talk about working class cock from his brothers and from Ada. What he isn't sure about is *why* she wants to fuck him and what she wants to get out of it. Which is why he asks if he represents something to her.

I'm not sure about him struggling to deeply connect with other people as a young person pre-war. One of the ongoing themes of the series (especially in s1) is how drastically he's changed by the war, how unrecognizable he is to his family and the people who knew him before -- it suggests this inability to connect is a result of the war and not something that was present before. At the same time I can see him being more shy around people outside his family and friend circle as a kid/young man, so I don't fully disagree I guess! Maybe it's that whatever struggle he had before the war it became terribly compounded after when he couldn't really feel anything period, which puts up a barrier when trying to connect to people. The idea Knight and CM talk about Tommy "thawing" throughout the series comes to mind. He's so emotionally frozen (and the strength of this isn't consistent; he thaws a bit and refreezes in reaction to circumstances).

Part of his aversion to connecting to people this way has to do with this 'traumatic freezing' I think -- by s5-6 when he seems unable to prevent himself from thawing, the result is increasing instability, anxiety he can't control, moral injury he can't ignore, and spiralling mental illness. So the 'freezing' of the earlier seasons served as protection even as it kept him more isolated from connecting to people. He's not really able to connect well even after he starts 'thawing' because by then he's feeling totally out of control.

Sorry that was a digression, I think.

Either way I don't think he holds back out of fear of misreading something; I think he's quite good at reading people and situations and that doesn't seem like something that wouldn't have been present pre-war.

I do think the way he treats sex as a transaction was most likely not the case before the war.

- Deep connection is unrelated to sex, and that he’ll always look for deep connection with someone over the sex. If both, ok wonderful, but if the sex makes the connection complicated he’ll ditch the sex and find that elsewhere. (I really think of Alfie in this space.)

Yeah I think this could work both pre- and post- war.

- Connection comes before physical/sexual attraction. People are physically neutral to him until he feels something for them first. For example, he couldn’t be seduced by a hot woman into a vulnerability in the way, say, Arthur or John probably could?

Yeah, absolutely.

I think of both Grace and Tatiana here. With Tatiana and no or limited connection, he pretty much flips her attempted seduction on its head and notwithstanding the essentially of them having ‘sex for the cause’, his sexual participation instead forges that double (is it triple by this point?) cross with her instead for their mutual benefit, rather than her sexual seduction exposing vulnerabilities in him for her people to exploit. With Grace, the connection comes well before the sex and it’s connection which exposes him/makes him vulnerable, not the sex.

Yeah. Any potential subtext about sexual trauma aside, I do think it can be difficult to untangle how he may have been prior to the war from how he was after -- it's such a profound impact on him, including on his sexuality and his ability to connect to people.

[bi-turtle-enthusiast]

elemental vision theory

Anemo: loss/avoidance All the anemo vision holders are dealing with some sort of avoidance and denial of their feelings. They want to escape from something–most of them received their visions when being forced to deal with a situation that they really wanted to escape from. For example, Kazuha had to endure a horrible storm with very little cover, Sayu was escaping from attackers, Scara was facing his past self after trying to forget his past, etc.

Geo: commitment/tradition Geo vision holders know their path in life and are 100% committed to following it. They are extremely dedicated to their craft and consider it to be a vital aspect to who they are. For example, Itto is committed to his gang and pours 100% of himself into holding it together, Navia has dedicated her life to the Spina di Rosula, Noelle has been training to be a knight for 2457893 years, etc.

Electro: solitude/unshakeable ideals Electro vision holders have big ambitions and work diligently towards achieving them regardless of whether others approve or support them. They immerse themselves in the pursuit of these ambitions in solitude, not relying on anyone else for support and always staying true to themselves. For example, Fischl is committed to playing her role and not giving up on her fantasy despite people telling her she's childish, Kujou Sara is dedicated to serving the Raiden Shogun and will never falter in her loyalty, etc.

Dendro: compassion/dedication to learning Dendro vision holders tend to be intellectuals who dedicate themselves to certain areas of study. However, they never lose their strong sense of compassion and humanity and are kind above all else. For example, Collei is dedicated to learning how to be a forest ranger so she can help others, Al Haitham is a dedicated scholar but cares deeply about his friends (even though he might not always show it outwardly), Yaoyao is a compassionate healer who constantly wants to take care of everyone.

Hydro: duality/facade Hydro vision wielders are the definition of "there's more than meets the eye." Every single one of them has an unexpected side to them that you wouldn't really expect. Often, they assume an outward personality that is more socially accepted or more impressive than their inner personality. For example, Barbara is a committed church deaconess but is also a pop idol, Xingqiu is a bookish nerd and an incredible swordsman, Kokomi is a fearless battle healer and also a bookworm, Yelan assumes a different identity with everyone she meets, Ayato is a suave politician but also a weirdo who likes drinking weird plant smoothies.

Pyro: contentment/passion Pyro vision wielders have dealt with adversity to get to where they are, but they're happy with what they do. They've accepted their current circumstances and are passionate about what they do. For example, Bennett loves being an adventurer despite his shit luck and constant setbacks, Xinyan loves her music despite getting ostracized for it, Diluc is content to run the Dawn Winery and protect Mondstadt as the Darknight hero despite it not being what he initially wanted to do, etc.

Cryo: isolation/family trauma Cryo vision wielders tend to feel like outsiders in society and have trouble socializing/being a part of groups. For example, Shenhe isn't viewed as human by other humans, Kaeya is Khaenriahn and feels like he'll never truly be a part of Mondstadt or Diluc's family, Layla is shy and sleep-deprived and has a hard time socializing as a result, Chongyun feels like a black sheep in his own family, etc.

[multi-lefaiye]

God Died With Wooden Bones Re-Intro

So this isn't really a full re-intro and it's not gonna be one of those fun aesthetic ones with cool banners, I mainly just want to establish the new premise and the main cast <3

Premise:

In June of 1975, the small, isolated town of Owl’s Haven, Virginia disappeared without a trace. Overnight, hundreds of people vanished, leaving behind only ruins that were slowly overtaken by the forest. Searches were conducted to find the missing townsfolk, but no one has ever found a single trace of them. As the years passed, Owl’s Haven was eventually forgotten, quickly becoming nothing more than an urban legend to tell around the campfire.

Then, twenty years later, in July of 1995, a young stranger named Shiloh travels to the ruins of Owl’s Haven, chasing rumors as they search for their missing mother.

Vibes: Sacrificing everything for someone who will never understand. Stories told in hushed whispers. The dying magic of abandoned people and places. Embracing the unknown rather than shying away from it. Finding beauty in the monstrous. Brittle bones carrying a fragile soul. Flowers blooming in the empty eyes of forgotten skulls. Knowing something is wrong but not knowing how to explain it.

Characters under the cut! Picrew link: [link] (image ids in alt)

Shiloh Rose - 24 - they/them - 6'0"

Shiloh was born in the town of Owl's Haven, though their father left with them and their brother when they were only three years old. A mysterious accident from their childhood resulted in them losing their left leg from the knee down, which they wear a prosthetic for.

However, they don't remember what happened the day they lost their leg, and they struggle to believe it really was an accident like everyone says. It's been twenty years since Shiloh last saw their mother, but they have a nagging feeling in their heart that she has to be alive, and they're determined to find her.

For the most part, Shiloh is rather soft-spoken and doesn't like to be the center of attention. They have a deep-seated, burning curiosity that drives everything they do, though, and if they believe something is wrong, they're going to investigate it.

Jonah Rose - 28 - he/him - 5'10"

Jonah is Shiloh's older brother, who has been protecting and caring for them since he was young. He blames himself for their accident and projects his guilt onto Shiloh, believing that they must secretly hate him. So, he has decided to make it up to them by protecting them, whether they want him to or not. Over time, this has caused a lot of conflict between them, and their relationship is very strained.

As far as Jonah is concerned, his mother is dead. She died many years ago, and Shiloh is stupid for refusing to believe that. He never really let go of the mentality that he has to be the smart older brother to his foolish younger sibling, and part of him struggles to accept that Shiloh is an adult and their own person who can stand on their own.

Generally speaking, Jonah is a very stern, serious man who struggles to connect with others, especially his sibling. He is very lonely, but he would never admit it. Instead of seeking out the human connection he craves, he throws himself into his work.

Joan Spencer - 47 - she/her - 5'8"

Joan is a frequent attendee of a support group that Shiloh goes to every other week. Currently, she is coping with the loss of her partner, who was killed in a car accident three years ago, leaving Joan to raise their daughter (Annie) alone. She and Shiloh have become friends through the support group, and they've made a point to support each other as much as they can. So, when Shiloh asked Joan to come with them to find the ruins of Owl's Haven, she agreed out of a desire to be there for her friend.

Since her wife's death, Joan has been trying and failing to move on, to the point where she struggles to even say her partner's name. She has always been very repressed and conflict avoidant, and the best way she knows how to cope with her grief is by not. Even at the support group, Joan rarely speaks up. To this day, Shiloh is perhaps the only person she's actually opened up to about her grief, and she still struggles to tell them anything.

Like Jonah, Joan cares a lot about Shiloh, though she also trusts them enough to take care of themself without her help. In this regard, Joan actually really dislikes Jonah, as she thinks he undermines them with his over-protectiveness. How can they succeed if he won't let them try?

The Rat King - ??? - she/they - 6'2"

The Rat King is a strange figure, known throughout the area where Owl's Haven once resided as a bit of a local celebrity. She's loud, brash, and completely unapologetic about everything she does. Everything about her is a mystery, even her name--she insists only on being referred to as The Rat King or Your Highness, and she won't respond to any other name. Even her age isn't very clear--most assume she's in her early thirties, but she's looked that way for quite a long time...

When Owl's Haven disappeared, The Rat King was unknown in the area, but in the years following, she has become rather notorious. Often, people see her wandering barefoot into the woods, often spending hours there before reemerging. When asked, she says that she's keeping the ghosts away, though no one quite knows what she means by that. Most people assume that she's just strange and leave it at that.

Generally speaking, The Rat King is a chaotic character who's willing to do whatever she has to in order to survive and keep those she cares about safe. She freely trespasses, damages property, and steals, though she's never been formally charged for anything. It's rare to see her without a goofy grin on her face and a spring in her step.

Elliot Jackson - 35 (?) - he/him - 5'11"

Elliot Jackson is a local celebrity in the town of Deerpath, the closest neighbor to Owl's Haven. His origins are mysterious, but his natural charisma has made him a dear friend to many of the people in town. He has so much influence, in fact, that he's practically the mayor, with the actual mayor becoming more of a figurehead who leans on Elliot for advice. This is exactly how he likes it, but he can't help but crave more.

When Elliot heard that people were looking for what remained of Owl's Haven, he decided to take a personal interest in the story. He isn't going to stop them, but he's made it very clear to Shiloh that, if they find anything, he wants to be the first one who knows about it. After all, imagine how much renown would come to the person who finally solves this mystery? Elliot wants in on that action.

Personality-wise, Elliot is a very charming, friendly man who is incredibly skilled at manipulation. He only keeps up close relationships with people he believes can be useful to him, especially once he ensures that he has appropriate blackmail on them. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he doesn't get along well with The Rat King, and he resents her for refusing to accept any of the generous offers he's extended her way.

--

And there's one more character I'm still reworking, but I don't think I'll share them just yet ;3c

Aaand okay!

I forget if there was ever an official taglist, so I'll tag folks who I think may be interested (if you'd rather I not tag you in things like this going forward, just lmk!!): @paradisiacalshroud @wherearetheplants @nicola-writes @albatris @abysslll @astralrunic @skitzo-kero @funky-writer-man

[millionsnife]

//i'm aware it's trimax canon that rem tells vash not to leave knives alone not stampede but it's my blog and i'm cherrypicking canon i like to incorporate into my interpretation so fuck you, anyway-

rem telling vash to 'stay with knives'/to 'take care of knives'.

it's p clear that knives is the more sensitive twin of the two (stampede inverts this a bit in the twins personalities which is interesting but honestly i do actually prefer the trimax canon here, where knives is the more sensitive and emotive of the two and the one who is more interested in and excited to meet humans so for my knives, that's the version of history i use; a lot of the stampede events happen, but the trimax ones also get mixed in, and knives is closer to his trimax personality as a child than stampede's version); he cries much easier and more often, he clearly worries more about how humanity is going to accept him and vash, and while when they're with rem he tries to act a bit tougher and more aloof so she doesn't worry about him, when it's just him and vash he's very much a stupid baby and more open about his emotions lmao.

he tries very hard to protect vash bc he's the older brother and that's supposed to be his job, but between the two of them he's actually the one to get attached to people easier and much more quickly and much more likely to be hurt emotionally. and rem knows this. she raised these boys, she knows them better than anyone.

it's why he reacts so strongly to tesla, and why it sends him into such a horrible spiral to find her, and why it damages his trust in rem (and humanity as a whole) so badly that he never truly recovers from it even 150 years later.

that's why rem tells vash to stay with knives, and to watch out for him. bc without vash there as a buffer between knives and other people, he's going to get hurt. he isn't going to know how to stop himself from getting hurt.

knives doesn't actually know how to close himself off from other people even when he's trying to cut himself off from them and isolate, he invests himself in them entirely; it doesn't matter what emotion it is. whether he loves or hates them, knives will take his entire heart and bury it in other people and then not know what to do when his heart breaks as a result. he physically can not stop himself from investing all of himself into people, causes, whatever and burning himself out in the process, he needs vash to hold him back, to be that safety buffer between him and the rest of the world; he needs vash to tell him when to stop.

[wright-phoenix]

I...I really want to elaborate why I chose the celestial bodies I did for the obscure associations, so I'm doing exactly that. Long post below.

Two of the 3 are some sort of aftermath of a supernova, and the other is going to result in a supernova, which wasn't planned but makes sense for each individually.

I'm sure I'll get some of the physics behind these astronomical bodies wrong but. Let me live.

Rhidian's association is a neutron star

Just to recap what Wikipedia tells us, a neutron star is "the collapsed core of a massive supergiant star" and "Except for black holes, neutron stars are the smallest and densest known class of stellar objects." [x]

The aftermath of a supernova makes sense insofar that Durge in general is someone who's living in the wake of a big cataclysmic event (being sent to amnesia land by Orin). And for Rhidian, things like Alfira's death and their own death and revival count towards that, too. All of these culminate in Rhidian being someone who lives in the aftermath of something profound and irreversible having happened.

And, for me, the density of the neutron star is symbolic for what Rhidian becomes. A celestial body of higher density would be a black hole, swallowing everything around it, even light. A neutron star can collapse into a black hole [sentence right before this linked one]. So the path Rhidian takes could either lead them to be a force that's swallowing everything around it (—someone who continues to worship Bhaal, perhaps, or someone who sinks deep into self-loathing about their past, unable to move on, etc.—) or they could be compressed into something else. And since Rhidian is 'good durge' and also since they do, at some point in their journey, take levels of paladin (oath of the ancients — an oath all about being a (symbolic) light, kindling and protecting the light), they instead are compressed into a force that, well, shines light. And their stubbornness about it all, about being who they are now, being who they want to be, wanting to do and be good, is reflected in the strong density of the neutron star. In a way, they're using all they've got to pull themselves together.

And, of course, it's an incredible balance act between not collapsing into a black hole and not unravelling. (That last one isn't how physics works but.... symbolically. You get it.) Just the right amount of density to not collapse into a black hole (to not fall into despair, back into old habits, into self-loathing and pity about their past deeds and relationships) and just the right amount of density to be a star instead of a nebula for example, to be pulled in by gravitational force instead of scattering.

Iska's association is a red hypergiant

So, first off, the initial idea was a regular red supergiant, but when I read that "the term red hypergiant is sometimes used for the most extended and unstable red supergiants" [x], I thought, "yeah, okay, that fits." Iska is unstable, lol. And also big.

She's in the middle of an identity crisis—betrayed by her god, grappling with the fact that they might've been used for most of their devotion. 60 (ish) years of what? Being his Chosen, enacting "justice" in his name. 60 years of isolation in the name of devotion.

Supergiants are defined not by their luminosity but by their evolution: "those massive stars which start core helium fusion without developing a degenerate helium core and without undergoing a helium flash. They will universally go on to burn heavier elements and undergo core-collapse resulting in a supernova." [x]

Both in Iska and in red supergiants (by extention, hypergiants), a breakdown (a collapse) is imminent. (Idk if I understand this correctly, but maybe the hypergiants being more unstable supergiants also adds to the impending core-collapse?) And it's only a matter of time, an inevitability, for both Iska and the supergiants; there's no getting around it.

Silver's association is a nebula, more specifically a supernova remnant (special type of diffuse nebula) [x]

As the name says, it's a supernova remnant. [x] Once again, we're dealing with the aftermath of a supernova. Only, this time, there was no gravitational pull great enough to form a new star. This time, the remnants are scattered, diffused.

Silver is also living in the wake of a cataclysmic event. One that affected him personally, but did not happen to him personally—more on the lore in a separate lore post (maybe, if I ever make one)—but summed up, his child (in their 20s, not a literal. child child) died. And Silver did not take that well. Still doesn't. He's running away from it, in fact. Which brings us to the next point.

Just as the nebula is diffused and scattered in the wake of that supernova, so is Silver. Metaphorically and literally, in a sense. He's running away from his past, running away from one fateful string of events that happened and is unable to be undone. Running away both physically, in that he's become a traveling mercenary and doesn't visit his home, and mentally by just never dealing with what's behind him. Never letting go, never processing.

[empressofthelibrary]

Ask meme for Bailey: Fear and Desire

Bailey has a recurring nightmare. There is a body at her feet. Sometimes it's Portia, sometimes it's Arvek, sometimes it's someone else. Most of the time it's just a bloody, broken mess.

Her hands are covered in blood. Her face. Her teeth.

But it doesn't matter. It's okay. They're safe. They're safe now. It'll be alright now. Aiden, Katie, Laney, Dick -- they're all safe. Nobody has to be afraid anymore.

She turns. The Titans surround her. Some of them shake their heads, judgement in their eyes. Others look horrified, sick to their stomachs.

Dick takes a step back, quiet disappointment on his face. "I'd hoped you were better than this. But honestly? I'm not surprised."

On a good night, that when she wakes up.

On a bad night, the last thing she sees is Phoebe, pushing Aiden behind her. And Aiden, staring up at her, eyes wide and wet.

They both look terrified.

Bailey's worst fear is going too far to protect the people she loves, and losing them as a result. Being the monster she's afraid she is. She's afraid of her own rage, her own violence. The strength of her emotions, the way they sweep her away, it scares her.

This will come up, and when it does, Bailey doesn't handle it well. She isolates, withdrawing from her friends. She alternates between beating herself up and distracting herself -- wallowing in self-loathing, then trying to numb the misery, then getting mad at herself for that because she deserves to feel miserable. Someone's gonna knock some sense into her head about it, but I don't know who yet.

But no, she doesn't really talk about it. Because who would she talk about it with? She knows she'd kill, if she had to, to keep her family safe. She knows that isn't what heroes do. So she can't risk voicing it, because what if just admitting that means she loses this big, weird family? What if that's all it takes for them to see her as a villain? As a monster?

Bailey... Wants a place to belong. She wants a family, a purpose, a future. She's spent her whole life feeling like she was out of step with the rest of the world, knowing she was Different. Feeling like she was... Built wrong, somehow. Less like she didn't get the script everyone else did, and more like she was playing the wrong part in the wrong play. Cast as Ophelia while everyone else was doing Romeo and Juliet, and given Hamlet's lines on top of it.

She isn't all that open with this, because again, Bailey has a hard time feeling like she can or should talk about this stuff. The very notion of wanting anything feels... Selfish, to her, and therefore Wrong. She couldn't even bring herself to leave her hometown she hated, until someone else needed her.

I'm not even sure how far Bailey would go to avoid being alone again, honestly. But I know it terrifies her.

[nixxx11]

Ending Umbrella Scene Analysis (Mr. Pigeon 72)

I loved this scene so, so much from the new episode, I'm going to be rewatching it on repeat for 5 years 😍

So anyways, I noticed some interesting things about the parallels of the umbrella scenes...thought I'd share...

Marinette got trapped under the umbrella when she was standing alone under it in Stoneheart.

In Mr. Pigeon 72, they are both trapped under the umbrella together and are standing next to each other.

It symbolizes the fact that now both of them hold the umbrella, showing their mutual love for each other, Marinette not being alone in her feelings for Adrien anymore.

“Wow, have you kept it all this time?”

Immediately after, the scene shows us rain and lighting, the same situation in Origins when Marinette first fell in love with Adrien. It’s indicating that she’s fallen in love with him again.

Marinette's love for Adrien was originally depicted in the umbrella scene. He gave her the umbrella. It’s the moment that sparked her love. But it doesn’t end there. He's also given her something else, which she's kept for a long time. It's not just an umbrella. The umbrella is supposed to symbolize love between them. More than a reverse in the love square, it’s a reset.

Adrien's question about keeping the umbrella doesn't just refer to the umbrella. It refers to her feelings.

Marinette has kept the umbrella concealed, the same way she’s kept her feelings concealed. What’s special about this scene? The fact that she didn’t conceal her feelings. She’s been trapped, like an umbrella, but she’s finally opening it up in this scene.

The symbol here is that she’s had the umbrella the entire time.

She’s kept her feelings for Adrien buried inside the entire time, finally taking them out during this scene and falling in love again.

The umbrella served as a symbol of her love for him, and by showing that she kept it, it suggests she never lost it.

Yes, Marinette spent so much time in denial of her feelings. She even tried dating Luka. She tried to forget about Adrien. But she never did let go of Adrien. Marinette still has the umbrella, but she's using it for the first time after falling in love during this scene.

I can't go to describe how well the dialogues are written in this scene.

Although Marinette wanted to return the umbrella, Adrien told her she would need it to get back home.

They're literally speaking through the umbrella's terms here-

Their love is symbolized by the reoccuring situation. Adrien is telling her that it’s too early for him to accept the umbrella. He tells her she needs it to go home. Before he can accept it, Marientte needs to accept her feelings for him and become comfortable with herself. She needs to feel comfortable around Adrien before he can accept his love for her. That’s why they’re both standing under the umbrella this time. Not just Marinette.

When they were both holding the umbrella, Marinette asked him to walk home with her. The way she asks for love is indirect. He was happy that Marinette wanted him to walk alongside her, but looked back and realized there were still too many responsibilities for him too. That it wasn’t time yet.

I think this scene was trying to tell us that it’s too early. It’s not time yet to hold the umbrella together, before walking beside each other, before accepting those feelings. He first needs to get control over his life. They must be prepared to hold the umbrella together, not just as Marinette and Adrien. As a team.

But he can’t accept the umbrella just yet.

Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I love what Alya said here. The quote essentially suggests that you should enjoy the present moment for what it is, rather than wasting time watching it pass.

Adrien and Marinette falling in love under the umbrella happened all over again, and it’s really not a coincidence. Alya said that she wanted Marinette to understand that she needs to live for the present rather than constantly worrying about being a guardian night and day. No matter how bad the circumstances are, she's still got to take breaks. Marinette found out immediately after that Adrigami had split up. But instead of going to console Adrien, she went to console Kagami because she knew Kagami’s only friend was her. She learned to accept circumstances as they are and immediately decided to go to Kagami. Because that’s what (girl)friends do.

When the storm passes, you can dance in the rain. When you wait for a storm to pass, you will freeze. Life is a struggle, and you will have to deal with daily struggles that are outside of your control. Depending on how you handle your struggles in life, you’ll either build yourself up or break yourself down. In the midst of the storm, you can find peace if you take the right steps.

‘Learning to dance in the rain' refers to the need to prepare for difficult times rather than merely wait for them to pass. This means that, despite all the challenges in life, it is still possible to find happiness. Despite being stuck in the middle of a bad storm, it’s important that Marinette learns to dance in the rain. It’s about how to view things, and how we keep optimism about our future, and recognize that we're heading in the right direction. You won't put your life on hold if you make it a point to enjoy life, even if it means you might have to sacrifice something to let loose once in a while. When the storm passes, you shouldn’t sit down to wait for it to pass since you may forget to get back up and continue your life. That’s what Alya is trying to tell Marinette. You’re going to get tired, and you can pause for a break in the weather, but dancing in the rain helps you get back up and finish what needs to be done.

Whenever there is a storm, Marinette isolates herself from love. Not just Adrien. Any type of affection. Her friends, her family, Luka...That’s what happened in Gang of Secrets. Marinette wants to keep her friendships but she doesn’t want to reveal her secret. It's important to her not to involve her friends in this. They shouldn't be burdened by her. It’s safer if no one finds out. Having a secret, and a struggle to prioritize, and maintaining her relationships causes her to do that to herself and people around her. In spite of the fact that it hurts, she's avoiding relationships entirely because she hopes it will protect those around her. Her time and energy is limited because relationships take a lot of effort and time. As a result, she avoided any type of romance. To the point where she was in clear denial of her feelings.

Now that she has Alya, she can help her. Of course, Alya's support for Marinette cannot be underestimated, but the episode is also a reminder that things aren't close to being ideal. As strong as Alya is, she isn't so strong that she can completely reverse Marinette's fall and reset everything back to normal.

Marinette’s definitely recovering. Nevertheless, the show is doing a lot to demonstrate that it is still a process. She’s still spending lots of time battling Shadowmoth. She has been making all kinds of crazy contraptions to hide the miracle box and kwamis in her room, and it’s driving her a little insane. She’s spending most of her time working on translating the grimoire while maintaining her double life and duties as a civilian. The storm is waning- but it isn’t over yet.

Why is that line from Alya so important? Because Marinette does need to let loose. Take a break from all the plans and simplify her life sometimes. Her approach is to take charge of situations, make plans, and set up things to make them happen. When she’s Ladybug, her assertive behavior means she is automatically paid attention to, and her clever plans save the day. Sometimes her anxiety is spiking and it goes a little too far. A flaw shown throughout the show: She goes from trying to lead a situation to trying to control it, steamrolling the other people involved. Complicating things often stresses her more.

Gamer 2.0 is a perfect example of this. This episode shows how she goes to great lengths to make people happy and even overworks herself in order to do so. She attempted the same approach over and over again out of stress and confusion in response to the situation. The concept of “dancing in the rain” is actually what Chat Noir did and was trying to tell Ladybug in the episode. Yes, there was indeed a storm. Yet, it was the enjoyment he found in the midst of it that helped them in the end, wasn't it?

Another example from this episode. Marinette did that with Kagami. Marinette was determined to reconcile Kagami and Adrien since she thought that would be the best outcome for their relationship, regardless of Kagami’s multiple attempts to tell her she didn’t want to make up with Adrien.

She, however, reevaluates the situation and reconsiders her approach when she's calmed down.

It took Marinette a while to allow herself to be happy again because she was waiting for the storm to pass. Alya advised Marinette to take a break and get her mind off of those things, but Marinette kept insisting that she couldn’t until she had everything figured out. While Alya tried to make Marinette forget about her stress by telling her about Adrien's commercial and the breakup, Marinette denied any sort of feelings she had for him, because if she tried to pursue Adrien while Shadowmoth was still active, it would end in the same way as Luka. And she doesn’t want a repeat of that. That’s why she seems to be avoiding romance.

Her avoidance doesn't just stop there- she fights as hard as she can to keep Kagami and Adrien together. Why? Because she can’t get distracted. Because she’s put a barrier on herself. Marinette is evidently not allowing herself to be happy until Shadowmoth has been defeated and her life calms down.

Marinette unknowingly recreated the moment where she first fell in love with Adrien, except this time they were holding the umbrella together. It's a symbol of reciprocation.

Kagami: The beating heart, the tingling..I felt all this. At your place. You’re the one that blushes and stutters when you’re around Adrien. You know his schedule over three years. You’re right, Adrien is perfect. He’s perfect for you.

The whole point; Marinette had a very specific goal in mind: scheming to make Kagami realize that Adrien loved her. Yet it clearly did not work that way. Mariette managed to avoid all that pressure once Adrien found interest in someone else and for once, she didn't have to worry about it. Because she didn't aim to be the one with Adrien, she didn't obsess over how every move she made could lead to him disliking her. Her downfall in past episodes was that she anticipated Adrien's reaction and panic over how it would ruin her life.

In much the same way as the first umbrella scene, Marinette didn't focus on her feelings for Adrien due to the fact that she didn't develop them until after the moment. As a result, her romantic feelings were able to blossom without thought or hesitation. In this interaction with Adrien, Marinette conveyed exactly what she wanted. She barely even stuttered or stumbled over her words when asking him to walk home with her.

Since Marinette was still convinced Kagami had a chance with Adrien, when Kagami told her that she’s the one who should be with Adrien and then walked away, she had little time to reflect, since Adrien immediately approached her.

Marinette and Adrien allowed themselves to be themselves and let the unfolding of events be an unplanned event.

Adrien still has a special place in her heart, despite it taking her longer to recreate a moment with him. The parallels show that this is the moment they fell in love all over again.

Marinette took advantage of being alone with Adrien in the rain to ask him to walk her home with her, spending more time with her. His father wouldn't approve of him skipping Chinese lessons if he turned her down despite the fact that he wants to.

In that moment of walking home, she was not only smiling, but also enjoying "dancing in the rain." Both literally and figuratively.

And I really, really want to talk about the end card. After three episodes of Marinette being curled up alone, crying, depressed and helpless, look at her now- She’s happy, she’s dancing, laughing and so in love!!

Marinette dances in the rain, as Alya suggested, indicating that we can still let loose even in tough times.

Not everything is fixed; it's clear that there’s still lots of duties for her. But even though she has a storm coming, she's in one at present in the midst of it all, but despite these responsibilities, it's fine to enjoy herself in the moment!

Another very important thing to note from the scene…

When Marinette takes out the umbrella….

She didn’t give it back to him. But he didn’t take it back.

She isn’t losing hope or giving up on her feelings for him, she’s content to keep and enjoy the feelings and accept wherever that leads her.

Despite still having much to think and reflect about, she now acknowledges her feelings, something we’ve seen her struggle with since the end of S3.

Another thing on the end card...the pictures of Adrien. In the pictures, she’s dancing in the rain, so it emphasizes yet again her happiness to enjoy her feelings for Adrien. In one of the pictures, Adrien is wearing the scarf Marinette made for him; I feel that this could be foreshadowing? Because if what was needed was pictures of Adrien, what was the need to include the scarf in two of the pictures? I’m thinking maybe it has something to do with a scarf reveal in the future. (That’s just a theory though)

And the most important thing from this end card was also because of the scarf. Marinette was the one who gave Adrien the scarf, and Gabriel is the one responsible for Adrien not knowing about it. He’s like a barrier between them- both as Gabriel and as Hawkmoth. (@sugarcubetikki Sugar I was talking to you on Discord about that so I thought you might want to be tagged)

Adrien has no idea that it's from Marinette, he thinks it's from his father. The thing standing in their way is his father.

Similarly to this scene- what gets in the way of him walking home with Marinette is his father. He has too many responsibilities. He needs to go home. Same with the scarf. It's his father's actions that limits him and hides the truth, it's the same reason he isn't able to realize Marinette's love for him in both situations. Gabriel’s like a strain putting a restriction on them. It’s the same thing that happened in Chat Blanc. That’s why they couldn’t date.

The next part is probably my favorite :)

It’s so silly and cute. The umbrellas closing in on them.

But even that, note the difference between the two- Marinette was trapped under the umbrella by herself before. Now they’re trapped under it together. They’re both trapped under their own love. That’s why this scene wasn’t necessarily a reverse love square. It’s indicating that the next step is for both of them to carry the umbrella.

In a tender moment with Adrien where they retrace past steps, Marinette falls in love for the second time after getting Kagami's blessing to pursue Adrien. Her umbrella symbolizes the love between them, and thus she offers it to Adrien.

The difference this time is that she is in control of her feelings, rather than allowing it to be given to her.

She willingly offers the umbrella to Adrien. She isn’t trying to make a disinterested Kagami try to date Adrien anymore.

There’s also something so different about his look. When he initially befriends her, he’s careful because he’s never done it before. He’s never had friends, it’s all new to him and doesn’t want to mess up. At this moment, he isn’t really going for friendship or romance or anything specifically, it’s just a relationship he wants to fix. Adrien has made a friend for the first time, and Marinette wouldn't even look at Adrien before that happened. It’s a situation where he’s happy to have befriended her. He is delighted that after several attempts he managed to become her friend. But this scene is so different. It’s almost like a realization. It’s perfectly reflected along with the fact that he isn’t the one lending his umbrella this time.

In the first umbrella scene, Adrien passed the umbrella to Marinette. The love is something he gave to her.

But in this scene? They’re holding it together. This perfectly represents that love is reciprocal and it takes the two of them to hold on to it.

Literally nothing to analyze here, I just love them so much lol-

The parallels here are absolutely adorable, they’re laughing at each other’s clumsiness and being silly. They’re both nervous and making silly mistakes out of love. It’s one of the times we get to see Adrien’s goofy, clumsy side around Marinette and it’s a parallel to the same reason they fell in love in the first place. Their reactions to each other here are so genuine and full of warmth. They’re so in love.

Adrien gave the umbrella to her in the first scene. She accepted that gesture of love and carried it with her, sometimes in denial but ultimately ended up taking it out. When she tries to give it back in this scene, Adrien tells her she still needs it.

She can’t give up just yet. That’s why she’s full of happiness at the end of the episode. Marinette wants to enjoy her feelings for Adrien, she’s overjoyed to be in love again.

Adrien can’t accept the umbrella from her just yet because…

Marinette needs it.

It’s too early for him to.

But it’s such an important moment of growth.

It’s vital that they’re ready to hold the umbrella together, not just as Adrien or Marinette.

Those two are made for each other. Kagami said it. Master Fu said it. There’s no doubt there anymore.

This episode carries a very important theme. The entire show does, actually. While life isn’t all about waiting for the storm to pass, we all have to learn to deal with the thunder and rain through experience and learning. It’s what Marinette and Adrien do every single day. We can allow life-threatening challenges to overwhelm us and leave us in darkness or we can embrace them with well-lit light. What made Marinette grow in this episode was that realization.

It’s about deciding if we want to embrace the rain by learning to dance in it, or if we want to make it even harder by waiting the storm out. Marinette finally danced in the rain. Things are headed in a good direction.

An important symbol I personally found memorable from the episode; Even in the middle of the storm, Adrien and Marinette are still tied together by their umbrella, they’re trapped under it, because they’re trapped under their love for each other.

(Or you know, you can just ship Marigami and move on with your life)

[elia-de-silentio]

Recap on Vanijeanne

As we try to recover from ... well, chapter 50, who wants to read a recap on the most controversial and Problematique couple in the manga?

*crickets*

Well, it was in my to-do list, so I'm writing it anyways.

Now, I love their first meeting, because while it sucks on 'what is actually happening' level, it does a wonderful work of exposure of the characters, hinting at their further development in a few panels.

Jeanne is presented as a '''''"strong woman'''''' ... meaning that's she's very good at fighting. That's essentially a good thug, it says nothing on character strenght. In fact, the only words she says for the first two chapters are asking Luca for orders: she's not shown as someone who takes initiative and acts on her own.

Even her emotional bond to Luca is taken as a sign of her weakness; while caring for someone isn't in any way a moral or emotional deficiency, quite the opposite actually, it hints at the fact that this girl has been so isolated, she has grown terribly attached to the only person to treat her with more than basic decency.

Speaking of basic decency, Vanitas fails even that. He straight-out sexually harassess her, making her feel even more powerless after mocking her for not living up to the strenght expected from her. We will later see that Vanitas isn't above psychological attacks on his enemies (hello, Astolfo), but this is callous even for his standards. Why would he do that?

Well, even if it was the first chapters, it was a bit of a shock to see the character behaving in such a way. Insofar, Vanitas had been presented as cocky, somewhat pushy and trollish, but also determined to help people, kind to Amelia, cheerful and funny. All around, a 'good guy'.

Even Noé, who back then said he didn't particularly like Vanitas, called 'overwhelmingly right' his healing of Amelia. Vanitas pulls a face at hearing that, and I suspect his behaviour towards Jeanne is in some measure a way to 'de-impress' Noé. After all, as we'll see in later chapters, he is an horrible person and can't risk someone actually liking him, right?

Their following meeting at the Bal Masqué is almost as bad. Here, Vanitas exploits her weakened state to flat out coerce Jeanne into drinking his blood, again using Luca as emotional blackmail (she'll hurt Vani, so the kid will be okay). Again, Jeanne really, really doesn't want to do this, and the scene drives home well her turmoil and hatred for the whole situation.

If Jeanne is being coerced in a situation of weakness, Vanitas is not actually faring that better. He wanted to have his blood drunk because he had seen Dominique and Noé do that, and he wanted something similar to the affection these two expressed, but not too similar because he doesn't deserve it and so he must make sure that the other party hates him and - this guy is a mess.

But the blood-drinking looks definitely painful for him. Heck, he even has to cover his own mouth to avoid screaming!

Their third meeting keeps on this proud tradition. In this instance, Vanitas makes quite a bit of back and forth: first he teases Jeanne in public about that possession mark, then dials back when he sees Luca taking issue; he offers privately to help her mantain her secret about the uncontrollable blood-craving, then he puts forth conditions (that she calls him by his name, thus establishing an intimacy she doesn't want, and that she drinks only from him, this limiting the damage she could do but also keeping a personal leash on her); he requires that she only drinks his blood, prattling on how good it feels, but then he has the same pained expression when she actually does it. His motivations here are probably mixed: partly desire to help a possible curse-bearer, partly a way to exercise control on Jeanne (as we have seen with Noé, Vanitas likes being the one in charge of situations), and partly some actual attraction to her.

On her part, Jeanne stands firm in her dislike of Vanitas, even if she really liked the taste of his blood.

Later in the same chapter, Noé questions Vanitas about love; he admits that he doesn't really know, just when he looks a Jeanne il flusso sanguigno gli passa dalle zone superiori a quelle inferiori his heart beats faster. He also lists his reasons for liking Jeanne; quite surprisingly, not only her considerable chest (though that got attention) but also some personality traits, such as her weird blend of toughness and fragility. Still, they're not exactly deep reasons. It sound more like a superficial crush.

But then, he adds something very important: he pursues her because she won't love him back. Here we got the first big hint of Vanitas's huge self-loathing: he is an horrible person, he doesn't deserve love, if someone loves him it means they have got some problems. He likes Jeanne, she's not the kind of person to like him back, he can have a '''safe''' relationship!

Then there is their famous date. It began as a ploy on Jeanne's part to get rid of Vanitas: because of quella comare di Noé, Dominique and then Jeanne herself get to know about that observation just above. So they get the idea: let's pretend that Jeanne really likes Vanitas, so he will leave on his own.

A sound plan, which would have worked if not for ... well, take a look at Jeanne up there. Does she look like she's confessing her love, or trying very hard not to throw up?

But the problem is: the date is great. Vanitas understands exactly what she was up to, and promptly went along with the act. And for the first time, he is actually nice to her: he shows her around the city, is attentive to her wishes, he speaks his mind about some little things.

And this completely throws Jeanne off her balance. Where does this sudden change come from? (And this was probably Vani's intention all along, as another way to keep her on edge and control her)

Not to mention, she's really not used to kindness. She's a bourreau, a pariah. She is so rarely treated with any decency, she is extremely sensitive when someone shows her even a little of it.

This ... '''cute''' rendez-vous comes to an abrupt end when an accident triggers Jeanne's bloodthirst. Vanitas gets her away before anything can happen, lets her feed on him (which still look painful) and tries to understand what exactly her problem is.

Whatever it is, Jeanne is forbidden by Ruthven to talk about it; the only thing certain, is that she is terrified by the perspective of harming Luca, should she no longer be able to control this bloodthirst. Vanitas reacts to this by promising to kill her before such thing can happen.

This scene is ...uuuuh ... interesting. I think that Vanitas actually meant well, even if only in part and in his own way. He surely sees it as an important promise, that he will honor should the necessity manifest itself. As for the other part, here is another nice chance for him to be the one in control!

With their next meeting, Mochizuki slams the gas pedal. In this case, Jeanne is not in a condition of vulnerability, there is nothing to blackmail her with at hand, and she's physically better off: it's the first time we see her take charge.

She has finally the chance to show off her better qualities: her sense of honor in repaying debts (Vanitas protected her from a blow from Astolfo before, getting wounded as a result), her level-headedness in difficult situation and her sense of responsibility towards others.

Vanitas, on the other hand, is a wreck. He lost his book, he got wounded, he has got hypotermia, he couldn't prevent Jeanne from stripping him out of the wet clothes and seeing the scars on his body, he has got a fever and is delirious. In this state, he gets a pretty loose tongue: he asks Jeanne some pretty personal questions about her motives here. She stays firm on what she 'has to' do regarding Chloé, but still, this is the first seed of doubt in her mind.

Oh, and there another kinda-kiss. No idea what Jeanne was thinking, passing Vanitas water that way instead of just putting the bottle to his lips.

Anyways, Vanitas really doesn't like not being the one in control. The morning after he acts the coldest he has ever been to Jeanne, dismissing her and then focusing on the task at hand, doing his best to avoid talking about that moment of fragility. Still, he shows some care for her, inviting her to listen to Dante's informations about Chloé.

They have a bit of a conflict of interest in there: Jeanne feels guilty about not fulfilling her duty as a tool and wants to amend by actually killing her mentor, Vanitas wants to save that same person; and, maybe because of personal experience, he has realized that Chloé 's death won't make Jeanne happy.

And how does the situation get resolved? In the sweetest, most actually romantic way possible. Vanitas exposes the truth about Gevaudan to Jeanne, and asks her what she truly wants.

A bit of exposition on Jeanne's past reveals that she has severe trauma after witnessing the death of her parents and being treated as a bourreau, a tool; she's convinced that if she ever acts according to her own will, someone else will be hurt. She's completely broken down by not having been able to kill one of the few people who treated her with kindness, and blames herself for everything that's happened in this arc.

But (after some unwitting influence from Noé) in sweeps our knight in a shining baggy coat, with the following message: she has every right to her desires. He wants to make her happy, he won't die as a result, he's ready to accept all she has to say, without judging her, with no condescension or trying to control her. All she has to do is be the one to give the order, and he'll obey. And she wishes for Chloé to be saved.

Chloé is saved. Her will to live is restored, and she is reunited with the people she loves. Jeanne is, in her own words, 'so happy she could burst', and extremely grateful to Vanitas.

This propels her to first drink his blood, and this time it really doesn't look painful; then to kiss him. And this time, he is the one to blush and stutter, clearly off-balanced by what has happened  and by the fact he doesn't dislike it one bit.

The following chapters can be only described as hysterical. Upon actually falling in love, Vanitas enacts the following:

• Spending ten days in bed, thinking he's about to die.

• Believing Jeanne cursed him

• Describing extensively and graphically, in front of Count Orlok, that particular blood-drinking che per come è posto sembra più una trombata

• Getting physically thrown out as a result

• Wandering in a haze, thinking about Jeanne's smile

• Running in a panic after hearing some convenient passerby declare his feelings for a girl with him

• After almost literally stumbling on Roland, sitting down with him and Olivier and trying to get romantic advice from a guy he dislikes and another he has never seen before.

• Trying the 'asking for a friend' trick. Is figured out after an esteemed timeframe of 0.2 seconds.

(Perdonate l'interruzione. La faccia da culo di Roland meritava la condivisione)

• Getting the most desperate look after Roland diagnisizes him with 'love'

• Throwing away all pretenses and expressing outright his self-loathing, to what is pretty much a couple of strangers, in stark contrast with his usual reservation.

• Reacting like a pissed-off cat to any attempts of comfort from Roland and Noé.

Meanwhile, Jeanne ...

Well, actually there is a whole sequence where she realizes she is in love, and describes the same symptoms as Vani in a cheerful, positive way to two flabbergasted Dominique and Luca; but I felt like the above panel was the most culturally relevant.

The point is, now that the feelings are real, Jeanne is the most confident and forward of the two. And this is a pretty great thing for her: as a bourreau, she didn't think love would have played a part in her life; she felt that she was just a tool, but not now, she has realized that she can love and be loved, and this makes her happy and confident. As Dominique observes, she shreds the shyness and insecurity that circumstances had forced on her, and returns to her original, cheerful personality; you can't take your eyes off her.

Still, in a following chapter, she has that little fantasy of a classic fairytale with herself and Vani in the protagonist roles. While it's a very cute and funny scene, it highlights something that Dominique too noticed: she is very black-and-white about Vanitas. She has gone from absolutely loathing him (with good reason!) to absolutely idealizing him (again, he finally acted with real kindness and selflessness towards her, but she doesn't even recognize how awful he was towards her at the start).

This would mean a fair share of problems with any normal person, as nobody is completely horrible or completely good, but with a walking bundle of trauma, contrasting feelings and self-loathing as Vanitas? It's probably a recipe for a disaster.

So! All in all, I admit I really like this couple. I like the possibilities of self-discovery each of them represents for the other: for Vanitas, to realize that his life isn't fixated by whatever happened in his past and that he can have positive relationships with people, and that he can amend his mistakes and receive forgiveness; for Jeanne, to fully experience positive emotions, and acquire a more balanced view of people and situations if her feelings survive the clash with Vanitas's failings.

... that was, before the disaster that was chapter 50. Jeanne has a very good relationship with Dominique, too; she was worried about her, and is likely investigating her disappearence, especially because Luca called specifically for her when he found out about it.

Remember? The same Dominique Vanitas would be willing to let be killed in order to protect his own memories, and even insulted in front of Noé? If Jeanne arrives on the scene, or finds out what happened, she will be forced to a new, decidedly less positive evaluation of Vanitas.

Misha is really being a wrecking ball on whatever halfway positive relationship his brother has, as if Vanitas himself wasn't enough to mess them up.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

[obstinaterixatrix]

I am so /psyched/ for your absolutely correct opinions on Surviving Romance and also glad that I’m not the only one who made the ORV connection (metatextual drama and one-sided relationships—although Chaerin is almost worse about it than Kim Dokja). What do you think of her classmates? Any favorites? Ep. 20 clubbed me over the head with the way the “extras” are also independent and interacting with (conflicting and moving outside) the narrative.

speaking of orv parallels I feel like chaerin is absolutely worse about it than kdj considering--ok you can kind of consider the 4th wall as mostly a protective factor (even considering it as an analogue for dissociation/trauma) whereas chaerin's block is somewhat a protective factor for identifying zombie's and not being super traumatized by all the gore that's going on but it's definitely more the origin/perpetrator of her trauma and isolation (the 4th wall affects kdj's perception of how much he can engage in his relationships but I wouldn't consider it a source of isolation). and while kdj was able to rely on the characters of wos as well as the individuals outside of the narrative, the only characters chaerin has 'access' to aren't people she can rely on (and right now jeha isn't really on the radar--I wouldn't be surprised if he came back in this loop, or if he ends up being just cannon fodder). I think it's also interesting how chaerin's feelings towards jeha feels closer to trauma bonding than a natural attachment (as a result of the Narrative World literally (lol) isolating her from everyone except the male lead). in contrast to orv, rather than a story that's a love letter to stories, surviving romance at the moment feels more like. what are they called. a dear john letter to the trauma of being subjected to The Narrative. interesting how despite certain similar elements and metatextual approaches and even some (emerging) themes they're such fundamentally different stories!

[chainrattle]

info on seven/rk under the cut !

pre-maw ( arc zero ) ; the runaway kid wasn't always some nameless face trapped within the depths of the maw ; like any child, he came from a family. a beloved child of one to a perfectly normal grandfather and grandmother. his parents whereabouts didn't bother him, since the devoted care of his grandparents was enough. during his childhood he was spoiled rotten, lavished with gifts due to being the only child. one tragic day, however, changed everything when his grandmother passed away due to unknown causes. despite the horrors of the world, outside their little ranch far away from cities and boats, his grandfather went out to bury his wife where she had asked to be buried.

left all alone, the boy waited for a total of a week before he set off to find his elder. a mistake on his part. while searching desperately for his remaining family, the boy was attacked— someone aimed a hit on his head that knocked him out cold. a swelling bump, oozing of blood, now on his head. this hit made him remember little of his past when he finally awoke on the maw. the images of his family now hazy faces that only became more distorted by the day. while he has no clue who gave him his head injury, it certainly caused escaping the maw to be harder.

( in later loops, the head wound heals and becomes less of a injury— making it easier. but there is still a scar on his head from it )

canon ' the maw ' ( arc one ) ; everything that takes place here is when the runaway boy is within the metal walls of the maw. the sequence of events follows canon closely, with him waking up in the children's room and escaping his prison— roaming the depths and killing the granny with his quick thinking. he's captured by the janitor and briefly encounters the feared heroine six before taken away to be moved to the kitchen. an attempt he easily escapes, though he falls once more back to the bottom. calling upon the nomes to help him, rk finds solace in his only friends when they get the furnace ( or known as the 'heart' of the maw ) started. when he escapes through an elevator, the lady is below him.

finally, the boy is in the lady's quarters. where he fends off from shadow kids with his flashlight and finds the statues needed to escape. he makes the fatal mistake of catching the lady staring at her reflection, however, and this proves to be his end. the moment she catches him, she twists him into a nome and he's destined to waddle off, becoming six's meal like the loop wants him to be.

canon divergent maw. in most threads, the story will become canon divergent as the boy interacts with others aboard the maw ; be it monsters or children. sometimes he will meet the same fate despite his partnerships ; becoming a nome for six to eat. sometimes six doesn't eat him. sometimes the boy in blue actually escapes, or the lady kills him where he stands. these different scenarios occur after the first loop, where stuff starts to alter— slowly, but surely.

canon divergent ' pale city ' ( arc two ) ; entering pale city only occurs if he escapes the maw, be it alone or with a partner. either way, seven ( a name he earned on the maw that he heard whispered about ) typically ends up separated ; isolated and alone in a foreign city. in most loops, it's rare he encounters the hunter considering he starts in pale city— but there have been a few times where he travels to that location and gets caught himself. a consistency, however, is that the boy stumbles upon the school quickly. with a hunger for company, he's easy prey for the bullies. while entering the building, he's relentlessly pranked, harassed, and physically harmed— but he pushes on.

not a solid choice to make considering his persistence and cowardice nature ( he can't bring himself to hurt other children ) is what makes the bullies want to keep him. brought to the teacher, seven is forced to stay. it takes five to six weeks for him to finally wiggle his way out of his hell ; be it alone or because of the help of another. with new scars to carry he keeps off the grid for a good while, avoiding big buildings like the hospital until he needs to treat some festering wounds.

by the time he gets to the doctor's in most loops, six and mono have already taken care of him ( or they're currently in the building when he arrives ) and he's free to only deal with the mannequins. but for the most part, he's in and out fast. being sneaky and cautious makes the hospital scene a little easier for him to handle. there's nothing significant in the building for him, though he does linger in the room with all those markings for the longest time.

in most scenarios, it's rare for seven to make it to the tower or lay eyes on the thin man. by the time he's in the streets again, six has usually dropped mono and repeated the cycle. which results in seven dying from the viewers so he can start back in the maw with six. seven is only freed from the loop when it's broken by six and mono ; forcing him to rely on others for his own fate ( and how messed up is that? )

more canon divergent pale city. when seven's in pale city, a lot of things aren't consistent due to the fact he isn't supposed to make it this far. sometimes he sticks with a partner the whole time, other times he's alone the whole way through. occasionally he sticks with mono and six until after the doctor's area ; typically dying in the collapsing building or, if he's lucky, at the hands of monster six ( again, he dies if the loop is to restart, he can never make it to the end with mono and six unless the loop is going to be broken ).

DUE TO THE LOOP in general, and due to seven mattering little in the grand scheme of things ; there's only some consistencies. his past always remains the same, he's always given the head injury, he awakes on the maw first, kills the granny, and is gifted the companionship of the nomes. sometimes the lady kills him, sometimes she turns him into the very thing he loves so much, and sometimes six eats him. the only thing that remains the same in every loop in pale city is seven being trapped in the school ; everything else changes for the most part.

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seven & six ; a friendship that forms despite it all! his fate is intertwined with six's, being the nome she eats when she's at her starving point. but there's more to them than that— with seven seeing bright yellow and feeling familiarity swirl in his chest. she reminds him of the horrors within the maw, yet six also makes him think of doing the impossible. out of all his companions, six is the one he will have always known the longest— even if he's only known her at a glance before. though it's true that the girl's powers scare him, make him debate her morals even, this doesn't stop the runaway from loving six. he can't quite get pass her powers, or ( if he learns ) the fact she ate him, but he can love her despite it. and he always does. for her sake, he even keeps his feelings on her supernatural aspect quite so he doesn't make her feel bad. also, she's a comfort to him due to their shared experiences in the maw— something that they mostly share alone.

seven & mono ; an unlikely bond that should've never formed ( in the loop's eyes ) but it blooms nonetheless. seven's never hung out with many boys before, so he's very shy and nervous around mono upon first meeting him. his typical cold behavior melts fast as he feels the pathetic urge to impress mono, though he tries to hide this well. they both typically have fun swapping stories about six, both viewing her in a slightly different light— which makes it even more fun to discuss. at first that's all they seem to have to talk about ; six this, six that! seven clings to this conversation topic because he wants to keep talking to mono, but they settle into other topics eventually. forming their own experiences together ( like saving six perhaps ) helps make their bond separate from their one with six. of course, like with their mutual friend, seven is uncomfortable by mono's powers— and would definitely be disgusted by the fact mono becomes the thin man. however, he keeps this to himself again. trying to get over his issues with mono during his own time since he really does like him.

seven & five ; five is the kid that seven never feels threatened by, or envious of. she seems to love the nomes just as much as he does, which is something that will tie him to any child, but she also doesn't have powers ; like mono and six have. that fact comforts him in her presence, knowing that she's ordinary just like him. she made it this far by survival skills alone and he's impressed by this fact, along with being taken with her humourous and determined nature. all in all, the boy quickly relates to her and lets five in, her presence lightening the burden on his shoulders. she makes him laugh and smile harder than most and he quite likes their history with water. these two have a lot of things that glue them together, relating in ways seven can't with most of the other kids.

seven & the nomes ; with little rememberance of his actual family, the nomes have fit together to make him a new one. there's a sense of belonging that tugs him to the nomes, feeling understood and seen by the peculiar creatures. the nomes understand what its like to fail, to never be able to taste the fresh air of new lands. seven sees himself in each of them and, despite the nomes usually not being in any real danger, the boy is fiercely protective of his new family. they know his every thought, constantly spilling his deepest thoughts and secrets to them because it's easier when he knows the nomes can't tell anyone. there's lots of trust in this dynamic, and seven sees himself as one of the nomes.