#pure blorbo hero energy

[lilacthebooklover]

"i'd eat clotted cream anyway, even though i don't like cream. he deserves it."

dragging @charismabee into the cookie run fandom is simultaneously the best and worst thing i've ever done. we're currently in the midst of a bad end au where the fallen heroes win, it's both ridiculous and angsty as heck, and we've somehow managed to cover so much of the lore and characters in the span of around three hours. earthbread's split into five: the pink sugar kingdom, fire fire everywhere, the silent library, nothing church, and the gilded cafe (as unlikely as it sounds, lava land is probably the most appealing to live in, especially if you aren't pink)

[cherry-flavoured-thot]

things that would kill a victorian child but with fire emblem because fire emblem heroes makes it possible: 

toilets. summoner starts explaining flushing and sharena and alfonse are just staring at them asking where it goes. particularly feral heroes would call that a waste of time as there are bushes all around. 

flaming hot cheetos. fairly self-explanatory, some individuals i think would die instantly upon consumption: marth, chrom, soren, lucina, eirika, miciah, xander, elise, leo, any of the old characters, alfonse and sharena. mountain dew, or energy drinks in general also fall into this category with the only difference is it makes dragonkin and beastkin have the zoomies. 

daddy being used in a sexual manner. this goes three ways, you have heroes (specifically dads) who do not get it. summoner calls eliwood daddy once and his response is: “why yes i am a father, roy speaks quite kindly of you.” they don’t explain to him, does find out what they meant eventually and coughs up blood. whore heroes who get called daddy by summoner, are explained the meaning to, and latch onto it. i won’t go into detail because u know sin. and finally horrified characters, any of the priests/priestesses with the exception of silque because mother mila, is actually mommy mila. (JKJKJK) particularly pure characters, any of the future kids. except nina, she’s ahead of her time, she’s writing fanfiction about her blorbos bartholomew and sir gregory.

your mom jokes. specifically your mom sucked me good and hard through my jorts. what’s a jort? and half of the heroes have dead moms so that jokes is falling flat. rip summoner. 

[herecomesmk]

         " My friends are my power ! "

[macabrecabra]

That fandom meme...you were making fate things, so fate?

Oh! I can do this sure thing! = w = I am a fan of the fate series indeed!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) OZYMANDIAS! BEHOLD! THE SUN KING DIO OZYMANDIAS! I love his personality and how he is both royal egomaniac and yet also has a strangely personable side that makes it hard to dislike him! I am not pleased at how much of his scenes were gut in the Camelot movie...how dare they do my sun king dirty!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) JEANNE ALTER She is a baby and adorable and trying to convince us all she is big bad and awful but every time she is taking interest in things or trying to deny she made something special, it is bloody adorable and I will NEVER get sick of that trope with her.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) SIEGFRIED Why does everyone hate on this poor man?? He was one of the few servants who saw his master being a bitch and just said fuck that. I was sad we didn't get more of him in aporcrypha that wasn't attached to Sieg and want more of him in FGO! He is a reliable servant damnit! Ynz just don't appreciate the good boi!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) ACHILLES If I see the carrot, I will go feral. You cannot help but love this stupid feral carrot child and the legend he comes from. People who draw Achilles in pretty dresses are saints for they know the true lore of the carrot!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) GILGAMESH He's a terrible bastard man, but he is OUR terrible bastard man and Fate as a series would not be what it is without him cackling all through the Grail Wars being a king of bastard energy. Also he has his adorable moments in FGO and is really just the human embodiment of pure cat energy.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) BB She tortures us all the time so I feel justified in paying back for all of it and feel it would turn into a war of mutual torture. But if that gets us another Hawaii-style event, I'm all for it! Give me the servants and Jalter trying to make her perfect story!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) ALL THE ATROCITIES THAT ARE THE FAIRY SERVANTS, WHOEVER THE HELL DESIGNED JACK THE RIPPER, AND EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF GILES The fairy servants and their design is proof that if there were gods in FGO, they have abandoned these lost belts entirely, leaving only the hentai writers to write fate. They are awful. I hate them. I will burn them. Their backstories are bullshit. They are bullshit. Why would I want those atrocities when I can have actual Gawain and actual Lancelot who have designs that don't make me wonder if the artists have ever seen a real woman, spoke with a real women, or in any way, have interacted with a general human being at that. I have strong feelings about these atrocities. Also Jack the Ripper's design is a sin against humanity and whoever designed a child to wear THAT needs to go to super hell like ten times over. Just saying. Giles as a character should not be a hero nor exist and is full of cringe and stalker bullshit that always is uncomfortable. Please stop with him and all servants of all genders who like to stalk. It is not funny :<