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ayellowcurtain · 5 years

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Sander and Robbe’s mom meet each other in the mental institution and Sander talks about his love for this boy and Robbe’s mom is amused, because she knows who he is talking about because Robbe already told her // - Maybe Britt came up to them and start on Robbe and then the boys get on her and make her actually see what she did was wrong? // - Sander drawing Robbe’s face on Art therapy class in the hospital and Robbe’s mom sees it and she gets to know their story through Sander’s eyes. And then Robbe goes to see her tomorrow, comes out to her and she tells him she had already met his handsome boyfriend and is so approving and gives him the talk that Sander is not his mi // - or basically a redo of the hotel night where both claim the night back. // - Can you write about Sander meeting Robbe’s mom and dad

Part 1

He pulls Sander’s pants and boxers down at the same time, still not thinking when he swallows every inch of him, feeling how Sander’s body contracts every muscle instantly and how a sigh gets stuck in his throat as he finally gives in.

Robbe closes his eyes when he sees the shadow of Sander’s hand a second before he manages to put his hand on Robbe’s hair, probably just needing something to ground him, not pushing Robbe away or pulling him closer, but he does open his legs a little more, giving more room for Robbe.

He just wants them to feel good again. It never felt bad, not even close to that, but for the longest time, Robbe felt nothing after their break-up. And minutes ago, he was suddenly overwhelmed by everything coming back to him the second he saw Sander. Robbe is still very much in love with Sander and he can’t lose him again.

Suddenly he’s almost falling on his ass when Sander tries to make him stand up, but Robbe manages to get up without falling with the help of Sander’s grabby hands, pulling him closer by his jacket, desperately kissing Robbe while pushing his jacket off his shoulder, sighing as Robbe arches his back closer to Sander, helping him get rid of the jacket, interrupting the kiss just to take his hoodie off too, noticing how Sander watches his every move with hungry, hazy eyes, gently pushing Robbe to fall on the bed, straddling him.

It’s not a weird silence, but it’s silence. Sander’s arms are still around him, keeping Robbe close, but for Sander this might just be a relapse, a mistake they made while missing each other too much and Robbe wants him to know everything.

“I love you.” He says as confidently as he can while still naked in bed with someone he hurt badly months ago. Robbe only moves to see Sander’s reaction when he already said it, looking up, instantly meeting Sander’s eyes that were already looking at him. “I mean it. And I’m sorry for every shit I ever did to you, I know it’s a lot and I know it’s not the first time I’m asking you this, so I’m gonna say it differently: Give us another chance.”

Robbe carefully crawls closer to Sander, lying almost on top of him, watching as Sander turns to lie on his side, watching Robbe without saying a word. “I know you love me too. You don’t have to say it if you don’t feel like it, but I know you love me. And I love you, Sander.” Robbe lifts the heavy blankets, snuggling as close as he can get to Sander, watching as he stares at Robbe’s lips.

“We’re fucked up.” It’s the only thing Sander says and it so easy for him to say that, while Robbe needs a second to ignore how the words feel bitter inside of him.

“You don’t know this, but you met my mom. She’s hospitalized and apparently you two did some type of art therapy together. She’s in love with you too and she would kill me if I didn’t try to get you back because she knows me even when we’re apart, but she apparently thinks I love you and we should spend the rest of our lives together, spending our first night as a married couple here.”

Sometimes it’s hard to get through Sander’s cold skin, but Robbe can tell he’s a little more open to hearing whatever Robbe has to say now that he has all this new information about Robbe’s home life too.

“She doesn’t know about this penthouse,” Sander explains.

“No, she doesn’t, but she knows I’m in love with you and that I should fight for the things and the people I love.”

Sander gives him the silent treatment again, but he keeps staring at Robbe, loving to see him struggling with his words and Robbe tries to dig through his brain, looking for more arguments to explain to Sander how he wants Robbe too.

“You’re a good looking guy, Sander. So hot. If you were done with me you wouldn’t have come. When you make up your mind, there’s nothing in this world that’ll change your decision. So the fact that you’re still single after almost six months and the fact that you came as soon as I sent you the text…”

“I didn’t have anything to do today.” Robbe hates when Sander answers him so quickly, clearly just wanting to leave very little room for Robbe to think about what to say to argue against.

“Yeah, and it’s ok with me if you just want to hook up today, but I’m not going to be just someone you have sex whenever you feel like it. I want to restart from where we stopped. I want you to officially meet my mom, to sleep with me every night, even in the ones we don’t have sex.”

“I need to think about it, Robbe.”

He doesn’t. Sander is looking at him with the cocky look he has whenever he likes to see Robbe whining, craving him and Robbe is tired, he’s never done this before, to put all his feeling out, offering his heart to someone else.

“It’s bullshit. If you don’t say it now, while we are here, I’ll assume we’re over for good.”

“I love you.” It comes out so easily of his mouth that Robbe is caught by surprise, not knowing how to answer that. “I was looking at the pictures that I have of you for the thousand time when you texted me and I came as fast as I could. And I was thinking about you, drawing you when I met your mother, she asked me and she was a stranger at the time, and I needed to talk to someone about how fucked I was because I was still madly in love with someone that wasn’t with me anymore.”

Robbe smiles, imagining his beautiful mom so gently coming to talk to the boy she was watching draw her son and that she decided to come and talk to. Robbe is glad he didn’t see that or he would probably have combusted with happiness.

“And I have to go soon. I ran out of the house without an explanation, my parents are probably worried.”

“You can’t leave, not now!” Robbe whines, turning their bodies to lie on top of Sander, stop him from leaving any time soon.

“It’s just for a little. I can go to the flat after dinner if you want…” Robbe sighs, he knows Sander is a little right. His mom is probably freaking out already.

The realization that their moms already met hit Robbe and it makes him smile and Sander stops and watches, pulling Robbe in for a long kiss.

It’s a long farewell, Robbe keeps trying to pull Sander back to bed, but he leaves after almost half an hour of Robbe managing to change his mind for another five minutes. Then he’s completely alone in this huge bedroom, lying in bed, thinking about the craziest things he did today, but how it paid off at the end. Sander is going to meet him later.

As he’s taking his shower, he smiles to himself, wishing they had more time to enjoy this fancy hotel again.

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #robbe x sander #sobbe

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smileyoongle · 5 years

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Masterpiece (A Yandere Park Jimin AU)

Summary: You thought it was just a painting until you bought it. You thought the man in the frame was beautiful until you saw him. You thought it was a masterpiece until you were ruined.

Pairing: Yandere! Jimin×Reader, Taehyung×Reader

Warnings: Contains mentions of smut, deaths, blood, obsessive behaviour and mental health issues. Please read at your own risk.

"Something isn't right, Namjoon. I just know it. I think she's relapsing again."

Taehyung's voice was a bare mumble, his eyes carefully trained on the staircase to make sure you weren't awake yet. There was no way Taehyung wanted you to listen to what was on his mind, he knew you'd get mad at him. Just because something is wrong with somebody, doesn't mean they'll always be very accepting about it. Taehyung's coffee mug lay idly on the counter, his teeth nervously gnawing at his lips.

"Keep an eye on her, Taehyung. Maybe, stay with her? Look, if she's really relapsing, I can't see her until after three days. Y/N would definitely not want to see me before her appointment."

Taehyung sighed, closing his eyes and massaging his forehead. He didn't have any choice but to listen to Namjoon since he didn't know how else to help you. Moreover, you were lying. Taehyung swore he saw that look in your eyes, that look you give when you're unsure whether to trust the person or not. It pained him to know that you felt the need to hide something from him, even when he stood by you for years. He was really hoping you have a good enough reason for that.

"Okay, thanks. I'll- I'll watch out." Taehyung hung up without waiting for Namjoon to reply. He placed the phone on the counter rather roughly, sighing in frustration and burying his face in his hands.

You groggily staggered out of bed, panicking a little on waking up alone. You didn't have much memory of last night but the bandages on your feet were enough to remind you about everything. One look at Jimin's painting and you were on your feet, not wanting to be alone in his presence. You were praying that Taehyung hadn't left, low mumbles leaving your mouth as you rushed down the staircase. Your feet ached, making you wince with every step you took but you managed to make it to the living room where Taehyung was hunched over the open kitchen counter. You didn't realize how fast your heart had been beating until you halted and took in a deep breath. Your eyes closed in relief, a hand going over your chest to feel the thuds of your heartbeat. Taehyung immediately looked up upon hearing someone's heavy breathing, his eyes widening momentarily on seeing you catching your breath. He stood up from the bar stool, walking towards you with a concerned frown.

"Y/N, are you okay?" He enquired, stretching his arms out to place them on your shoulder. It was as if Taehyung's touch had made you weak, for your legs gave away and you stumbled into his arms. A gasp left his mouth as he caught you, steadying you in his arms and making sure you weren't going to fall. With one hand on your back, he led you to the couch, helping you sit down before kneeling in front of you. "Hey, you alright?" He asked gently, rubbing your bare knee soothingly as you covered your face with your hands.

It took you a minute to gather yourself, your brain trying to convince you that you were definitely okay. You slowly pulled your hands away from your face and clasped them in front of you, your eyes falling onto your lap as you nodded. You hadn't noticed before but your hands were shaking, Taehyung's warm hands coming to wrap around your cold ones. Your eyes looked up into his eyes, guilt eating you up at the worry in them.

"I worry you so much, don't I?" You whispered in disbelief. How could someone be so messed up? If it were you, you would have probably run away by now, unlike Taehyung. You weren't even nice to him, so why the hell did he put himself through all this for you?

Taehyung smiled slightly, glancing at the floor before looking at you again. He inhaled deeply, leaning closer to you and cupping your cheek.

"Not really. It kinda feels all worth it to me."

Your heart fluttered and you pursed your lips. Damn it, Taehyung. Damn it for saying something like that. With a shaky breath, you lowered yourself from your place on the couch and placed your arms around Taehyung's neck, hugging him tightly. Your vulnerability took Taehyung by surprise, your body feeling so fragile under his touch that he couldn't help but frown. Something was really wrong, you were slipping away. Taehyung could feel it.

You clutched onto the back of Taehyung's t-shirt, your eyes blankly staring at the wall as you focused on the warmth embracing you. It really wasn't worth it.

Life really wasn't worth it.

Your eyes wandered across the wooden staircase, the shiny cherry wood coming to an end where you had placed the antique coat rack. Nan had complained about it, telling you how you shouldn't just trust people when they say something is antique. You waved her off, replying with some sarcastic comment that made her laugh. You remembered her as vividly as anything else and for a second, a very dreadful feeling washed over you. Your heart began beating faster, a lump forming in your throat as you tried your best to breathe normally. You were grateful that Taehyung wasn't asking you any questions.

As you began calming down, your breath hitched, eyes pausing on the raven haired man standing beneath the staircase. He was leaning against the wooden railing, arms crossed and eyes fixated on you. His lips were pursed in disapproval, eyes glinting with an emotion you couldn't decipher. No longer able to hold his gaze, you closed your eyes and buried your face in Taehyung's neck, hoping that Jimin would disappear himself. He had to, right? He was only an illusion.

Your whimper caused Taehyung to straighten up, his mind registering the way you were clinging onto him like your life depended on it. He leaned back a little, trying to pull away so that he could see what was wrong with you but you didn't let him. Your lips kept moving as you mumbled to yourself.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy…"

"Y/N? What's wrong?" Taehyung asked, pushing your hair back from your face. You didn't budge, eyes peeking open to see Jimin stood there with a smirk on his lips. You sneered, immediately closing your eyes again and hiding yourself in Taehyung's arms again. Taehyung decided to take the harsher way around. He placed one hand on your shoulder and pushed you away, only for you to help loudly.

"No! No, please don't. Just a minute more."

You squeezed your eyes tightly, your fingers clawing Taehyung's back. Without a word, Taehyung hugged you back, assuming that you were gonna have an attack of some sorts. And he wasn't wrong. Because the next second, your breathing grew ragged and you started wheezing. Taehyung placed his one hand on the back of your head and rubbed your back with the other. "It's okay, Y/N. I've got you." He cooed, rocking you in his arms. You willed your mind to listen to Taehyung's voice, the deepness of it slowly pulling you back into reality. You let him whisper sweet things to you, your breathing inching back to it's normal pace. With your leftover strength, you opened your eyes, sighing softly upon seeing Jimin gone. His sudden appearance made you wonder if Namjoon's prescription was even working. You sniffled, pulling away from Taehyung and hanging your head low in embarrassment. Taehyung on the other hand, lifted your chin up so that he could look at you. He gazed at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world and you hated it.

"How do you feel?" He questioned, running his fingers along your arm. You swallowed thickly, trying to guess Taehyung's reaction on your sudden change of heart. With a shaky breath, you opened your mouth and blurted out the words you never thought you'd say.

"I wanna see Namjoon. I need him to help me."

Taehyung parted his lips in surprise, eyes widening momentarily as he took in your words. Your eyes were desperate and Taehyung could feel the confusion surging through him. What was happening?

Taehyung reluctantly nodded, stroking your cheek once before getting up and proceeding to call Namjoon.

____________________________________________

The same old walls stared back at you, your fingers playing with each other as Namjoon talked outside with Taehyung. Yet again, you had managed to surprise Taehyung when you said that you were gonna proceed with the day's session alone. You had confirmed his suspicions of you holding secrets from him. Unfortunately, he couldn't say he was hurt. This is exactly how therapy sessions were supposed to happen. He needed to get used to this.

Your eyes wandered across the polished table before you, the numerous papers scattered before you made you lean forward to take a closer look at them. These seemed to be the files of Namjoon's other patients. You knew you weren't supposed to be snooping around so you shook your head and leaned back on the couch, crossing your arms and patiently waiting for Namjoon to come back.

You had made your decision. You were going to talk to Namjoon about Jimin. He was your doctor and he was supposed to believe you. That's what he always told you. This time, you were trusting him to hold your secret. If he didn't believe you then…

You sighed in frustration, tapping your foot against the carpet and glanced over your shoulder at the door which was still closed.

What was taking them so long?

You turned back to the table, your eyes pausing on catching two words on a paper that was peeking out of a file. All air seemed to be knocked out of your lungs, your throat running dry and your eyes widening in shock.

Park Jimin.

Before you knew it, your hand was stretched out to pull the file towards you, quickly flipping the pages to see what this was all about. Your heart pounded in your chest, eyes hurrying over the information printed on the sheets. You realized this file belonged to a man in his 60s, someone who seemed to be dealing with PTSD too. You quickly looked behind you to see if there were any signs of Namjoon coming back but there were none. With a relieved sigh, you pulled out your phone and began capturing each of the pages to find out what this was all about.

All this was too much to take in, you felt your head throbbing slightly. There was no way this was a coincidence, right? How could two people see the same person? On hearing low murmurs and heavy footsteps, you tossed the file on the table, sitting back quietly as the door opened to reveal Namjoon walking in. You pretended to be bored as Namjoon sat in front of you. He showed you his dimples, glancing at the table with all the papers scattered across.

"Ah! I'm sorry, I was a little busy before you abruptly settled an appointment. But Y/N…. I'm really glad you wanted to do this." You gave him a tight smile, nodding in acknowledgement. Namjoon didn't know how grateful you were that he had left the files unattended. As he gathered the files to place them back in his cabinet, you slowly looked down at your phone, taking in the name of the man who was haunted by the same beauty as you.

Keith Trelawney

Taglist: @csol16 @thanksforthemameries @min-t-posts @xanny91 @silverstitchedsoul @truestrengths @jackgot7lo @jazzytfw @cassiescarlet12 @kpopgirlbtssvt @slut-for-fandoms @kawaiimusiccollection @butwhatsoft @wickedbutlovely @siphite @vincent-stargogh @sarcasticsmolstiles @lilyviolets @btsarmysvtcarat @pr1nc355y05h1 @sugasheart @yoongass @smolwriterdude @iamcrazyforkdramas @roseofmyst @vannilacake @yeontanie21 @rottenratatouille @chimchimeebabo @iwannabeanidol @nooooooooona @bartiertae @jimin-is-my-bias95

So, if any of you actually remembers the prologue then you'd know who this new person is. Nevertheless, the drama is beginning. Tell me if you wanna be tagged!

-XX

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haileyjayden3 · 6 years

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How to Thrive in Long Term Sobriety

There is a difference between just “staying dry” in sobriety and actually thriving. Some people who stay dry for a while end up relapsing, but some recovering alcoholics just sort of stay stuck in limbo–or they coast along in their recovery and do just barely enough to keep themselves dry.

Obviously we want to avoid this kind of complacency. Nobody wants to just exist in their sobriety, or worse, to be completely miserable.

So how can we take steps to insure that we are able to thrive in the long run? What can we do to insure that we continue to progress?

There have definitely been times in my recovery in which I had drifted into complacency. I have definitely been through some periods that were not exactly “highly motivated.” Perhaps we all go through such cycles in our lives. I think to some extent we do need to recharge ourselves, take some down time every once in a while, and just relax.

But the key is that we need a stimulus to swing us back into positive action and personal growth.

The key is that we find a way to stay motivated, to hold ourselves accountable, to stay on a path of personal growth and positive change.

They used to believe, years ago, that the number one problem for recovering alcoholics and drug addicts was that of resentments. They argued that resentment causes people to relapse more than anything else, and therefore this is the number one threat to your recovery.

The truth is that after you have established yourself in recovery and you are living a clean and sober life, at some point you will have worked through your resentments and gotten past them. However, there is still a threat to your sobriety at that point, and the biggest threat for people in long term recovery is that of complacency. If you get lazy and you stop pushing yourself then you can very easily get into a pattern where you become vulnerable to relapse.

The threat of relapse is always going to be a lurking threat in our lives, and our disease of addiction is always looking for new ways to attack us.

This is a key point that you cannot afford to miss: Your addiction is constantly looking for new ways to get you to relapse. Your disease is always looking for an “in” to get you to drink or take drugs.

And because this threat is ever evolving, because the threat of relapse is ever present and ever changing, you need to be on constant alert against this threat. Which is another way of saying that you do not get the luxury of propping your feet up and coasting through your recovery journey. At no time is this acceptable–not after 1 year, not after 10 years, not after 25 years of continuous sobriety. At no time is it really safe for you to assume that “you got this” and that there is no chance of relapse ever again.

As real alcoholics and real drug addicts, we do not get let off the hook in this way. Ever. We are always going to be working a program of recovery and we are always going to have to be learning more and more about ourselves and about our addictive selves. You do not get the luxury of coasting through recovery, not ever.

We cannot stand still in our recovery journey. We are either moving closer to relapse or we are improving ourselves through personal growth.

Again, this is another key point, so let me hammer it home: You are either inching closer to a disastrous relapse, or you are working on self improvement. Period. There is no option that falls in between these two for an alcoholic or addict. If you think you found the middle ground, then what you are really doing is just coasting, and that means you are inching towards relapse.

No, the key to truly thriving in recovery is to be actively working on personal growth as a matter of day to day living. This has to become your routine. You must keep pushing yourself to improve your life and yourself.

So let’s break this down a bit: You have your life, and then you have yourself. You have your external situation such as your family life, your relationships, your career, your marriage, and so on.

But then you have yourself, meaning your dreams, your vision for the future, your shame and guilt and anger and resentments, and all of the emotions that are swirling around inside of you.

And somehow you have to work on all of this stuff in order to recover. And in order to truly thrive in the long run, you must continue working on all of it right up until you pass away.

So how does an alcoholic or an addict approach this monumental task? How do you prioritize personal growth in recovery?

My answer is this:

Start with rehab. Go to treatment and get yourself plugged in to a recovery program. Find the social support, start going to meetings, start doing therapy, IOP, group therapy–whatever the treatment professionals suggest that you do.

Do not use your own ideas when you have one week sober. Instead, listen to the treatment professionals. Do exactly what they suggest to you. Follow directions. This is how you build your foundation.

As you find your stable path in recovery, you will slowly transition from being a “newcomer” to being in long term recovery.

The key for me has been to look at my overall holistic health–meaning my physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health–and made a concentrated effort to make progress in each of those areas.

So if I look at my life and ask the question: “Where am I weak right now in terms of growth and learning? What have I sort of neglected lately in terms of my overall health?”

The answer to those questions should dictate where I refocus my efforts.

If you never ask that question of yourself, if you never probe your life to see where it might be lacking, then you won’t ever take corrective action to put some more positive action where it is needed. And eventually this could lead to your downfall.

Recovery, then, has to do with balance as well. This is especially true in long term recovery. Really the key is that you do not want to go for too long a time period while completely neglecting one area of your health, such as spirituality. Or emotional balance. Or physical health and wellness.

So the key is to always be surveying yourself and your life to see where you might be slacking lately, and then to reapply and refocus yourself in those areas of weakness, thus restoring balance. This has always worked well for me and I believe that it can work well for you too. Good luck!

The post How to Thrive in Long Term Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from http://www.spiritualriver.com/alcoholism/how-to-thrive-in-long-term-sobriety-2/

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journalingthisjourney · 6 years