-> CH. 6: SOME SORT OF SICK, SELF-INFLICTED SCHADENFREUDE
synopsis: amanda confronts connor about his growing attachments. hank is found near-dead on his kitchen floor and brings about conversations that drudge up bad memories.
word count: 3.2k
ships: Connor/Reader, Hank Anderson & Reader
notes: i promise i have a life i just have nothing to do. so double update. possibly triple if i don't crash and take a six hour nap
HoFS taglist: @catladyhere (if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just ask!)
HEAD OF FALSE SECURITY MASTERLIST
Connor’s mind palace was, for once, a little turbulent. Usually, it was sunny skies and pleasant, not-too-balmy warmth, but today, it’s raining. Not a torrential downpour, but not a light drizzle, either.
He looks down and sees a closed umbrella in his hand. The rain doesn’t bother him, nor does the wet permeating his clothes.
Instead of opening it, he starts walking along the marble that makes up the main path. His dress shoes don’t slip on the puddles that collect on it. Droplets of water collect in his hair and run down the apples of his cheeks to drip off his jaw.
The strange stone glows before him, its reason for existing ever evading him. He kneels and reaches towards it, his skin peeling back in an automatic response. His hand just barely touches it, and it responds with a thrum of energy, as if alive.
He stands and takes a step back, heaving an artificial and unneeded breath. He turns his back on it and continues walking on the path.
Connor comes to a stop before Amanda, who is adorned in whites, greys, and a soft yellow. The bracelets that cover her forearms and the necklace that rests on her upper chest are fragmented white squares, contrasting against her dark skin.
“Hello, Amanda,” Connor greets.
“I’ve been expecting you,” Amanda says, her voice even and cool as ever. “Would you mind a little walk?”
Connor moves beside her and opens the umbrella, then swings it over his shoulder so that they’re both protected from the rain. They start walking, with Connor slowing his pace to match Amanda’s.
“Congratulations, Connor,” Amanda says. Connor turns to look at her just in time to see her faintly smile. “You managed to find that deviant. Tell me, what did you learn?”
“An Officer I’m working with found its diary, but it was encrypted,” Connor says. “It may take weeks to decipher.”
“What else?” Amanda prompts.
“The walls of the apartment were covered with drawings of labyrinths and other symbols.” His eyebrows furrow a little. “Like the other deviants, it seemed obsessed with rA9. The Officer suggested that it was mere superstition, but… I’m not so sure.”
“Hm.” Amanda hums. “You came very close to capturing that deviant. It’s a pity you let it self-destruct.”
Connor would be a fool if he missed the tone of blame in Amanda’s voice. There’s a tiny voice between the lines of his code (that strangely sounds like yours) telling him to snap back. To tell her that it had a revolver, and that it put the barrel to the soft part of the underside of its chin before he had a chance to stop it.
But he doesn’t. He holds his tongue and molds the words to be polite, like his program tells him to do. (And he blames himself, like his program tells him to do.)
“I knew deviants had a tendency to self-destruct under extreme stress,” Connor says. “But I didn’t expect it to use its last bullet to deactivate itself. I should’ve anticipated that – the Officer even told me that it still had a bullet in the chamber.”
“And you’d readily trust the word of a Soviet?” Amanda asks.
“Not any Soviet,” Connor responds. “Just this one.”
Amanda gives a disapproving hum. “You easily go against your instructions when in their presence. They told you to leave their apartment, and yet you insisted on staying.”
“My second-top priority is the safety of my partners, just behind hunting deviants,” Connor says. “There were no deviants present. The Officer was hurt. I simply offered my help.”
“They weren’t hurt,” Amanda points out. “It was just their prosthetic that needed repairs.”
“Like I told them, unsatisfactory repairs could possibly cause worse damage than the initial damage,” Connor says. He sets his jaw as his programming nudges him. “But you’re right. I should’ve listened to their instructions.”
Amanda nods, like she approves of Connor’s self-blame. “How are your relationships with your partners developing?”
“As I grow closer to the Officer, it seems I grow closer to Hank,” Connor says. “It’s like they come as a pair, as unlikely as that is. They don’t mind androids, but refused to elaborate on why Hank despises them. It seems some topics are off-limits, like that and the story behind their half-leg prosthetic. I’ll have to look into it on my own.”
When he looks to the side, Amanda’s stopped a few feet behind him. “We don’t have much time.”
Connor turns to face her fully.
“Deviancy continues to spread. And it’s only a matter of time before the media finds out about it,” she continues. “We need to stop this, whatever it takes.”
“I will solve this investigation, Amanda,” Connor promises. “I won’t disappoint you.”
Amanda glances away, then looks back to Connor. “The Officer just sent you a message about a new case that just came in. They’re asking if you want to find Anderson and investigate it.”
With that, she turns and walks away, her gown and flowing fabrics dappled by the rain.
“What purpose does this serve, Officer?” Connor asks, examining a little toy that dangles from your rearview mirror. It’s a little plastic figure, no more than three inches in height, of Soviet Boy – a little guy dressed politely in a blue shirt, shorts, and a red ascot stamped with a golden hammer and sickle.
“It’s just something I brought over,” you say, your eyes on the road. “It’s Soviet Boy. Don’t you recognize him?”
“He’s the star of many animated shorts geared towards children featuring themes of anti-capitalism and pro-communism,” Connor says.
You laugh and adjust your grip on the steering wheel. “You’re looking stuff up again.”
“I… I am,” Connor admits after a few moments.
“No shame in that,” you say. “I’m… I’m glad you’re trying to relate to me. Not a lot of people ask about the little bits and bobs I have scattered around.”
“Why not?” Connor asks. “You can tell a lot about a person from what they surround themselves with.”
“Please,” you laugh. “Don’t psychoanalyze me. Save it for Hank. Speaking of…”
You pull off the road and park on the side of the street. You put your car into park and switch off the ignition. “We’re here.”
Connor follows you as you walk up the path to Hank’s cute cookie-cutter suburban home. You ring the buzzer for a second, causing a harsh sound to go off inside the house.
“Hank!” You call. “It’s me and Connor!”
No response. You pull away and turn to the potted plants and start digging through the loose dirt.
“What are you doing?” Connor asks, almost incredulously.
“Trying to find his spare key. It was here last time,” you say. “Try the buzzer again.”
Connor holds down the buzzer for more than ten seconds this time. You laugh softly and wipe your hands of dirt.
“Try to find a key by the backdoor,” you say. “I’ll continue rooting around here.”
“Got it.” Connor disappears around the corner.
As you turn to another unsearched-through potted plant, you hear the shatter of glass. Your head immediately snaps up and you run around the side of the house.
You turn the corner just in time to see Connor launch himself through Hank’s kitchen window. You peek your head in and see Connor almost cowering away from Sumo.
“Ah – easy, S-Sumo!” He tries, holding up a hand. There’s obvious nervousness and a slight hint of fear in his voice. “I’m your friend, see?”
You stick a hand through the broken window to lightly tug on Sumo’s drooping jowls. “Hey, big guy! Don’t worry, you big baby. He’s fine.”
You glance away from Sumo and see Hank, sprawled out on the ground. Alcohol pools around him, and you can just barely see the handle of a revolver nearby.
“Check his breathing!” You bark, pointing at Hank. “Roll him on his side! I don’t want him choking on his own vomit!”
Connor runs over to Hank’s side and kneels. You brace yourself and clamber through the window awkwardly, landing on your back with a guttural groan.
“I’m fine.” You brush pieces of broken glass off your clothes, careful not to cut yourself. “How’s Hank? Is he okay?”
Connor looks up at you. “I suspect an ethylic coma.”
“Am I supposed to know what that means?” You snap.
“An alcohol-induced coma,” Connor says. “His heart shows no signs of trauma, but there is slight arrhythmia.”
You kneel by Connor and pick up the bottle of whiskey and the gun. You set them on the table, then look down at Hank.
“Oh, Hank,” you mutter, nudging him softly. “Что же ты наделал?”
“Lieutenant?” Connor says, almost in a sing-song voice. He lightly slaps Hank’s face, causing him to groan and sputter.
“Wake up, Lieutenant! It’s me, Connor!” Connor brings his hand down harder across Hank’s face, causing him to startle awake.
“We’re going to sober you up for your own safety.” Connor helps Hank up, similar to how Hank helped you on the roof. “I have to warn you, this may be unpleasant.”
“Heeey!” Hank slurs. “Leave me alone, you fuckin’ android! Get the fuck outta my house!”
You slot yourself under Hank’s other arm, helping Connor get him off the ground. “Come on, you goddamn drunkard. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
“Fuckin’ liar!” Hank groans your name. “You’re – you lied to me! Half-android…”
He then fully turns to you (which seems to be a difficult task, as uncoordinated as he is). He says your name again, softer, but still slurred. “I… I lost your flask.”
“Don’t worry, Hank,” you say. The weight of his flask weighs heavy against your chest in your inner jacket pocket. “You’re okay.”
You look over at Connor. “Where are we taking him?”
“The bathroom,” Connor says. He starts to walk, and you match his pace.
“Sumo!” Hank shouts. “Attack!”
Sumo gives a full-bellied bark, but doesn’t move from where he’s parked on the floor. Hank praises him with a slurred “Good dog.”
You turn the corner in tandem with Connor. “The bathroom’s on the right. I’ll open the door. Will you be able to hold him?”
“Yes.” Connor steadies his grip around Hank’s waist.
You let go and open the door to the bathroom, ushering them inside. You move out of the way as Connor practically drags Hank along.
“Leave me alone, you asshole!” Hank slurs. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Connor sets Hank on the edge of the bathtub. Hank looks around, confused, then back up at Connor. “Oh, nuh-uh. I don’t wanna bath, thank you.”
“Sorry, Lieutenant.” Connor pushes Hank down so that he’s sitting in the tub. “It’s for your own good.”
As soon as Connor turns on the showerhead, Hank howls with pleas of “Turn it off! Turn it off!”
Connor lets the torture continue for a couple more seconds before turning off the water. Hank looks around, disoriented, then up at you and Connor. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“A homicide was reported 43 minutes ago,” Connor says. “We couldn’t find you at Jimmy’s Bar, so we came to see if you were at home.”
“Jesus.” Hank groans as he sits up on the edge of the tub. “I must be the only cop in the world that gets assaulted in his own house by his own fuckin’ android…”
Hank points at you. “And you! You didn’t do anythin’ to stop him?”
“You were drunk, Hank.” You shrug. “You know I hate seeing you like this.”
He looks away, shame painted clearly on his face. He tries to stand, but wobbles in place. Connor catches him as he starts to fall and sits him back in the bathtub.
“Can’t you just leave me alone?” He eventually asks Connor. “Just go with them and leave me here.”
“Unfortunately, I cannot,” Connor says. “I’ve been programmed to investigate this case, and I can’t do it without you. I need both the Officer and the Lieutenant for maximum efficiency.”
“Beat it! You hear me?” Hank shouts as he pulls himself up to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Get the hell outta here!”
Connor looks at you with some kind of look on his face – the look that lets you know that he’s up to no good. He leisurely strolls toward the exit of the bathroom, slow and deliberate.
“I understand. It probably wasn’t interesting anyway,” he says. “A man found dead in a sex club downtown… guess they’ll have to solve the case without us!”
You hide a laugh behind a cough as Hank mumbles, “Y’know, probably wouldn’t do me any harm to get some air.”
He shifts on the edge of the bathtub. “There’s some clothes in the bedroom there.”
Connor picks up on what he’s asking for. “I’ll go get them.”
“I’ll go check on Sumo,” you say. “Make sure he has enough water and all that. Don’t choke on your own vomit while I’m gone.”
“I’ll try,” Hank mumbles as he drags himself to the toilet.
You wander to the kitchen. Sumo barks at you as you pass by, his tail thumping as it hits the floor. You squat in front of him, scratching behind his ear. He leans into your touch and one of his hind feet repeatedly taps against the floor.
“Oh, scratchy spot?” You laugh softly. “Feel good, Мишка?”
A voice sounds behind you. “What is a ‘scratchy spot’?”
You yelp, shooting to your feet and stumbling backwards. Your feet catch on Sumo and you can feel yourself falling –
Connor catches both your arms, pulling you to your feet. He pulls a little too quickly, sending you into his chest. You move away, not giving yourself time to savor the coolness of his body against yours.
“Are you okay?” Connor asks.
“You keep scaring me,” you say. “I should bell you. Like my cat.”
“I feel like that would be detrimental to the case,” he says. “It would give away the element of surprise that’s needed on some outings.”
You look over at him. “That was sarcasm.”
“I apologize,” Connor says. “I don’t… easily pick up on it.”
“It’s okay.” You turn back to Sumo and kneel down next to him. “You okay, boy? Didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Sumo’s tail wags and he pants happily. “Good,” you coo. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I did.”
“Is Sumo… normally this docile?” Connor asks.
“Yeah.” You look up at him. “Wanna pet him? He’s soft.”
Connor kneels beside you, tentatively reaching out a hand. He repeatedly pulls back and reaches forward, as if wondering if what you said was true.
“You’re taking too long.” You take his hand and put it on Sumo’s shoulder, then move it in a petting motion. After a few strokes, you let go. Connor continues on his own.
You stand and smile to yourself. Connor looks nice like this. Like he’s a socially-stunted friend (which you immediately question, because – is he your friend?) and you’re teaching him how to interact with the world.
Connor looks up at you, still petting Sumo. “Am I doing it right?”
“Do you see Sumo complaining?” You laugh. “He’d be happy with any affection you give him.”
You look over at the kitchen. The revolver is still on the table. “I… I actually need to go check something.”
“The gun?” Connor asks. He stands, ready to follow.
“Yes.” You move over to the table and pick up the revolver. You flick it to the side, and the chamber opens. The bullet is in the right position to be fired.
“Ask him what he was doing,” you tell Connor softly. Your eyes never leave the bullet.
“Hank, what were you doing with the gun?” Connor calls.
“Russian roulette!” Hank shouts back, his words still a bit slurred. “Wanted to see how long I could last… must’ve collapsed before I found out.”
“You were lucky,” Connor says. “The next shot would’ve killed you.”
“We were all lucky,” you say, just quiet enough for Connor to hear. You pluck the bullet from the chamber and put it in your pocket, then put the gun down. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy cleaning brain-matter-confetti off the walls.”
“Is Hank getting help?” Connor asks. “Psychological help, I mean.”
“No.” You look at the face-down picture frame on the table. You already know whose photo it is. “Not for my lack of trying, though.”
Connor reaches for the small frame, and you catch his wrist. You hesitate for a moment, then let go. He needs to know this. Deserves to know this.
He picks it up, turning it face-side-up. It’s the photo that would’ve been used for Cole’s kindergarten graduation. Just seeing the picture causes a deep pang in your chest, so painful and real you’d think someone had actually stabbed you.
You grab the picture from Connor’s hands, your own shaking a little as you return it to its original face-down position. “Don’t talk about this to Hank.”
“I won’t,” Connor responds, his voice just as quiet.
You grab his upper arm, looking him in the eye. “I’m serious. Please.”
Connor lays a hand over where yours rests. “I promise.”
You bring your hand away and step back, forcing distance between you and him. You look over at the face-down photo. Even just the small frame, the one that holds the photo of that small child hurts to look at.
“Earlier, Hank said he lost his flask,” Connor says. You’re glad for the change in topic. “Why did he seem so apologetic?”
“It was a gift.” You pull out the flask from your inner jacket pocket, handing it to Connor. It still has whiskey in it. “A gag gift. One to make fun of him.”
He examines it thoroughly, running a thumb over the engraving that reads Anderson. “A lot of detail was put into the lettering. And the date on the bottom is November of 2031.”
“For when he turned Lieutenant,” you say. “He used to be really straight edge – only drinking on weekends, and only socially. It was funny because he’d never find a use for a flask.”
“But he did.” Connor looks up and meets your eyes. You look away, your face suddenly hot with shame.
“I should’ve taken it earlier,” you say softly.
“It’s not your fault,” Connor says, his voice soft and compassionate. You really hope it isn’t fake. “You gave it to him years before…”
His eyes turn to the face-down photo frame. You take the flask back, turning it over in your hands.
“Before everything happened,” you finish. “I still feel ashamed. No words will change that.”
“Just keep the flask away from him,” Connor says. “It won’t keep him from drinking, but it might make you feel better.”
“Maybe.” You run a thumb over the engraving. Anderson stares back at you, in neat Courier New. “God, I hope so…”
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