#ramblesssss

[bananapudding752]

y’all ever think that maybe we don’t have to be super brave? because I’m scared of a lot of things. things I don’t think I could face. things that even if I was given all the encouragement in the world for, I don’t think I could do. and is that okay? god do I hope.

[struck-by-the-rain]

not 2 overthink about the same lil rhythm heaven guys again,,, but what kinda outfits do y'all think karate joe would wear other than his karate outfit (if he has any other outfits lmao)

ive been comin up w an idea in my head but I'm curious to see what other ppl think lol

[randomszzz]

Havestella’s great and I love it but man did they drop the ball on quietus it kinda feels like.  “hey we have a special season of death between seasons!” that’s really cool there’s so much that could be done with that the atmosphere in it is just wonderful... and they just don’t.  Just in general seasons in harvestella are under utilized.   I can kinda understand, especially with one of the interviews being like ‘don’t worry you can do everything on your own time and not miss anything :)’.  Maybe there should be things to miss.  the seasons should have their own offerings.  Let us explore more during quietus, have some special story progression locked to them.  even on the back of the box for the game it’s like ‘explore the mystery of quietus’ and our understanding of it doesn’t progress at all from like chapter one until the epilogue.  aaaaaaaaaaa please have a sequel and figure your stuff out.  or a spiritual successor, whatever.  there’s just so much I love about this game and there’s so many clear flaws

[angielanche]

WOAHAHHHAHHAH

I did not expect my debut post to get like. 100 notes. WOah... Anyways, gonna probably drop some more ninjago art later as its my last day for the term so yiipPPEEEEEE!! :DDD

Fyi I would LOVE anon art requests, ninjago and lmk specifically... But I don't mind drawing other things, I'm into a lotta stuff rn lol but anyways PLEASE DROP SOME IF YOU DO SEE THIS!!! THANK YOU C:

[ca-d]

this cooler weather the last few days, especially in the early morning, has me feening for fall. I can’t wait to go to all the haunts and play in cemeteries(respectfully) and get absolutely lost in all the color and do all the spooky shit. it’s going to be great and I’ll be so happy. soon 🖤🎃🍂

[cardiac-arresting-sweetheart]

b for yan alphabet

"Blood: What is the most extreme thing you think you’re capable of doing in real life for your darling? What’s the worst thing you have already done?"

... oh boy

um. let me think.

what i think? not too sure. genuinely i'm not sure! any time i do... extreme things it's when i'm either under a lot of stress or not thinking clearly/extremely impulsive (...manic, most likely, but i don't know if i'm allowed to SAY that since i'm not diagnosed or anything)

i know i couldn't... kill anyone. i don't think i could really harm anyone else. my mind just doesn't let me, though i... have wished to sometimes. at least i couldn't directly do anything. i don't have a very strong moral resentment for killing but i don't think i could do it anyway. plus yk it's illegal and all. (why am i saying this on a public tumblr account)

otherwise the most extreme thing i think i could do is manipulation. maybe some mild brainwashing. a little bit of corruption. not sure. it really depends on my mental state. i have to rationalize it to myself, though ("they deserve it, it's for the best").

worst thing i have already done? toy with emotions (not too bad :c... uh, maybe not too bad), threaten, possibly manipulation but that's maybe a bit far to call it that. i'm not a very good judge of how bad things i do are, though. i have a problem with black-or-white thinking.

also just... physically hurting but not in a truly harmful way, in a... you know, masochist+sadist way. that doesn't seem extreme to me, but i know some people might think it is. to me, it's not harmful.

again i hope i'm making sense lol

[recoverr]

going on for months (or maybe years) without experiencing depressive episodes really made me wonder if i was that sick at all. and then depression has kindly done the favor to remind me that yes, i was. in fact, i can get sick again.

[riddlingabout]

if you beautiful angels keep blessing my inbox with jon imma have to come up with a taggggg haha

(i love it never stop)

ALSO I STILL HAVEN'T COME UP WITH A SILLY TAG FOR MY RAMBLESSSSS

[a-very-manly-muppet]

More ramblesssss: so there’s this TikTok that’s like oh we all have that one queer friend who dresses and acts like gonzo AND 5 SEPARATE PEOPLE J KNOW IRL SENT JT TO ME IM SCREAMINV BAHDHAUDHHW

[shuasdraftsalt]

Help so like if i were to repost smth or be more active as a viewer itll prob be on this acc follow my main for ramblesssss @shuasdrafts

[turtleneckshiv]

i do think a lot about how insane it would make shiv feel to hear tom compare sex with her to throwing cake batter at a brick wall. first of all that’s a horrible thing to hear from your partner no matter who you are but i think it would hurt her so much. she’s terrified of loosing her husband and he’s been refusing to say that he loves her and now she’s hearing that he’s not even attracted to her. she is so used to being seen just for her gender and sexuality, and within that there’s choosing to dress certain ways, to sleep with people (taking agency, having control) and then there’s the fear of being just something people want to fuck (which she’s felt safe from with tom) or being just a womb(!!). besides using sex as a coping mechanism, she obviously uses it as a way to express love/comfort to a partner since she doesn’t seem to feel comfortable doing so with words. but now tom won’t be comforted by sex. he wants her to make him feel better by agreeing to have a kid. and she can’t do that and her brain is still rotating having just heard about her mom’s wedding from just some guy. he says there’s no point and she says “to making love?” and that feels so unlike shiv and so desperate.

[detransexual]

Uh-oh gyns, i opened pandoras box yesterday and put on makeup (other than the usual beard-shadow coverup that doesnt actually change how my face looks) and ah fuck i really hate how much i liked it. Nooo dont start using makeup ur already self conscious ahah...

Like i thought id fully accepted being ugly, because i do have a weird face and it usually doesnt bother me, i know i look like hot garbage most of the time but i actually felt like attractive hot garbage?? I dont know how to feel about this tbh. I dont want to start doing something that makes me feel worse about myself if i dont, and every time i do start dabbling in makeup and start wearing it outside it does make me want to keep doing it, but i genuinely dont know how to feel about this tbh?

I think the worst part of it is that i feel more like "myself" actually, in the sense that i look more like i did before i started trying to pass for male. Theres no real point to this post im just rambling.

I feel like i dont necessarily care about my face that much anymore, its just the face i have and its a bit weird looking and oddly proportioned but i can see several of my relatives in my own face. Unfortunately its mostly my male relatives tho lmao.

I really wonder if that has anything to do with my trans identity tbh, why i felt like i WAS male? Because i have always been pretty androgynous both in my face and body composition, and for a long time i was obsessed with plastic surgery generally. I tried really hard for a large part of my adolescence to be really feminine, make myself smaller and cuter and try to fit in with my peers atleast aesthetically when i couldnt fit in behaviourally.

I really remember the feeling of realising females could be transexuals too and suddenly feeling a promise of freedom, feeling like it explained why i pretended to be a boy as a child, why i didnt fit in with my female peers, why i felt the way i did about my female friends (hint: it was autism, and not understanding why i was limited by female socialisation and heteronormayivity) and how hesitantly hopeful i was that that was the explanation, and eventually i became convinced that it explained everything from my weird periods and my deeper than average voice to why i didnt fit in socially and behaviourally - there was something wrong with me on a biological level, something that was easy to believe when you've spent your whole life with a sense that there is something deeply and inherently wrong and different about you.

I dont know, i just wish id have been able to grow up as a girl and realise that that didnt dictate anything about how i should look or act or who i could fall in love with. I wish id have felt able to shed femininity without needing an "excuse" in the form of a male identity. I wish someone had looked at me in all my social problems and self destructive behaviours and realised that this is a kid who cannot ask for help and cannot articulate whats wrong. I wish someone had recognised that something was wrong and that i needed help rather than being told that i was really mature and independent, because i shouldnt have had to be.

And to bring it back to beauty ideals, i certainly shouldnt have been shamed and made to "fix" features that my brother was praised for having, i shouldnt have been told my face and body was unacceptable and unpresentable.

Idk man. Dont wanna care about how i look i dont want it to matter.

I guess a healthier outlook would be to say "huh im not ugly everyone else is just cheating" (jokes!! Is just jonkes!1!!) but then again i am kinda ugly and i just wish i didnt prefer looking better aesthetically because like, whats the point lol its not like thats gonna do anything for me

[rinka-fuka]

powerpuff girls z >>>>>>>>>>>>> any other magical girl anime

[itachiboutit]

And she’s back with the hottest take of the season

[brattydomlouis]

Also medicine makes me think how much Fun him and Louis must have. He’s so excited and smiley and just would be such a fun fuck ugh

[noelletism]

the reason I love knas so badly is cuz I kin asakusa and kanamori’s my type